#unironically never thought id write on this acc again.

[b0mblover]

Sharks and White Bread HinsaoJiro

By: J

No tws unless you count white bread ig.

1,500~ words

Uh. How do you write a character that literally doesnt even have a canon design? make it ooc of course!

i can’t believe i hate hinsaori so much it looped back to loving him. oh god. what next theyll go to therapy?

Tsuruhiko Multi Grain?

this is essentially crack taken somewhat seriously.

im so sorry for writing this

Hinsaori came out of his room and was searching through the kitchen cabinets. Bread. White. Fucking. Bread. It's all he's wanted for a while. All day. Everyday. Every meal. White fucking bread. But of course. It wasn't healthy to only have bread for every meal, and even if he didn't care for his own nutrition, Kouga wouldn't let him. He's always so sweet to everyone, how did Ota get so lucky.

But, this was his first two slices of the day, and Kouga wasn't home to kick his ass, so he could eat his two slices of plain white bread in peace.

He sat on the couch, rubbing his hands deviously one may say, planning to absolutely devour this 'meal'.

So that he did. Absolutely devouring that bread- less violent devouring, but the taste was so good to him he might as well be. 

On his second piece, Nito had come out of his room, he was still here? Ota had thought Jiro had left with the others to do gods-knows-what, apparently not though.

Jiro essentially threw himself onto the couch cushion, absolutely bodying it, with a sigh. 

Jiro was. Hard to read. To say the least, his expressions either were the opposite of what he feels, or exactly what he feels. It's just figuring out which is when that's the hard part.

Hinsaori put down the bread slice in his hand before speaking

"Uh.. Y'okay?" (BEHOLD. MY AMERICANISM. *EVIL LAUGHS CHOKES AND DIES*) 

Jiro looked over to the long haired man, looking him up and down 

"Yeah, just.. Thinking" he said in a monotone voice. 

Why did he look at Ota like that? Did he do something wrong? Was it because of the bread?

"Wellllll you wanna say 'bout what?" he asked before slightly cocking his head.

Jiro sighed and paused, considering how to word his statement.

"Well.. You know the thing about 'if I can't swim, and sharks can't walk, it'd come down to who's the better cycler'? Like, how would the shark stay on the bicycle? Wouldn't it fall off and be disqualified?"

That...What The fuck is Nito on right now. 

Hinsaori just stared at Jiro for a while, "wouldn't it be disqualified" does- does Nito know that sharks can't breath out of water-.

"J-Jiro. You uh, feeling okay bud?" he asked putting his hand on Jiros’ shoulder, seriously has he even slept? 

"Yeah, just wondering y'know?" Jiro responded before looking at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing there was.

"Have you slept?" Hinsaori was starting to seriously worry for the others health, sure Jiro could be impulsive, and destructive, and an absolute dumbass, but this? This was new.

"Hm? Yeah? Why are you asking aren't *you* the insomniac?" He had a point, but where did that question even come from? Sure the guy wasn't serious all the time, but that expression..

"oh god I can't do this- Jiro. Where the fuck did that question come from." 

and in return, all he got was a blank stare and a shrug.

Jiro stood up and walked into the kitchen, Hinsaori could hear him putting a kettle on

"Tea?" he asked 

"No I want to drink boiling water"

"What." 

"You heard me birdman. Just eat your soggy bread."

What the actual fuck. 

Hinsaori sighed, setting the bread slice he'd been clenching for the past 5? Minutes now, on the table and walked into the kitchen as well.

He pulled out a knife from the knife box (wtf are those called) 

"Who are you and what have you done with Nito!" he pointed the knife (somewhat playfully) at the assumed double

The Dumbass number 2 reached around him, pulling another knife out of the knife box, handing it to Hinsaori

"the one you have is dull" stating blankety before turning back to the kettle

"also would you like some tea or coffee?" he asked unmoving

"I- sure?" he lowered the knife, even if this somehow really wasn't Jiro, whoever this was clearly wasn't okay.

Jiro moved to the cup cabinet, 2 down from the stove, and pulled out two mugs, one plain black, another white with some black and red writing.

Jiro opened the little tea pouch thing (idk what it's called, tea foreskin ig) and put it in the black mug, before putting copious amounts of sugar into it as well...maybe This was Jiro?

"Tea or coffee" he asked

"Uh- coffee is fine" he replied, even if this was Jiro, would he know how to make his coffee?

Jiro put one 1 teaspoon of coffee grounds in the white mug, then two of sugar, damn, does Jiro really pay that much attention to everything? Sure it's not overly complicated, but he didn't even ask and Jiro isn't one for assuming.. 

Jiro stirred his tea, then Otas coffee with the same spoon before handing the mug to him. Before he took his painfully sweet tea and walked back to the couch. 

Hinsaori did the same after putting the knife away. Plopping down on the couch cushion beside Jiro.

He took a sip of the coffee and.. Damn. Damn! It really was good, it was his usual but for some reason it tasted so much better? What the hell did Jiro put into this shit?

He wanted to ask, but he watched the man make it. There was nothing else in it. Maybe it was just because he was still tired-ish?

Seeing how words didn't get him very far, he rested his right hand on Jiros leg, sipping with his left. Instead of jerking away like usual, Jiro let him. Drinking his 'disgusting' tea. He sat it down on the table beside him, and closed his eyes. Fuck he really was tired huh? He could feel Hinsaoris warm hand through his pants, it felt nice, especially considering the cold weather as of late, he almost wanted to sink into it more, no matter how impossible that was.

Hinsaori, noticing that Jiro had finally relaxed, sat his coffee on the floor by his feet, just far enough away to not kick it by accident.

He brought his right hand up to Jiros forehead before speaking,

"Y'know, if you're tired we can go lay down, you don't gotta push yourself" Even though he'd said he'd slept.. Hinsaori was doubtful, he wasn't an insomniac sure but for some reason he had this odd habit of pulling all-nighters, even if he wasn't doing anything specific. 

Jiro halfway opened his eyes, before pushing his head into Hinsaoris shoulder, whispering "yes..Please...that'd be nice." Letting impulse take over. He didn't feel like he needed to explain himself to the others, that he didn't need to explain why he lied about not sleeping. There was always some unspoken understanding between him and the others. It.. It was nice.

"Alright-" Hinsaori started as he ruffled Jiros’ hair lightly, god Jiro felt as if he could melt into the guy.

"Go ahead and get into bed, I'll be there in a second mm? Alright?" 

Jiro vaguely tried to nod his head, really only nudging himself into Hinsaoris’ shoulder bone. "Yeah..", he moved finally, taking a few swigs of his tea, he stood up, walked to the kitchen, threw the tea bag out, rinsed the mug, put it in the sink, and headed to bed.

Did Jiro really finish his tea that quickly? Jeeze.

Hinsaori picked his coffee off the ground, taking a few sips, yeah there's no way he's gonna finish it that fast, so he sat it on the counter beside the sink, he'll deal with it later, all he cared about right now was snuggling with the unsnuggleable.

He walked into his bedroom to find Jiro, facing the wall, blanket pulled down, waiting for Ota. He shut his door behind him.

He unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, he considered changing but he felt comfortable enough, he could always just rewash it.

He got into bed and pulled the covers up onto both of them.

He stared at the ceiling fan, he never turned it on, Jiro always had to have a fan on, or at least the noise, even in the middle of winter. It's a wonder that his still works considering how often it's on.

Just staring at the ceiling, he didn't feel as tired anymore. He rolled over to Jiros back, huh. Jiro usually turns his back to the wall, maybe he's over thinking it. Yeah. 

He mentally crossed his fingers that he wouldn't be killed for what he was about to do, and wrapped his arms around Jiros lower torso, resting his face in between his shoulder and head, so close to his ear..

Jiro moved his hands to Hinsaoris, resting them there. His hands were always so cold compared to everyone else's, he'd never admit it but, he loved holding hands, how warm it was.

He was at peace.

He whispered something out before falling dead asleep to the world, Hinsaori followed soon after.

"I love you."

"I love you more. Always."

. .

Kouga, Reina, and Noriko got back later than expected. Even though they were an activist group, they were still people, which meant they still had to run errands. 

Kouga was in the kitchen with Reina unpacking groceries while Noriko took off her shoes on the couch, before she went to stand up to put them away, she saw it to her left..

A piece of white bread. Just on the table. Sitting there. Menacingly.

Today was Hinsaoris date with death.