#unfortunatley it's not on spotify

[fbfh]

light up the dark [XVII]/epilogue - Leo Valdez x reader

wc: 1.4k

genre: hurt/comfort

pairing: Leo Valdez x goth gf!child of eros!reader

warnings: hurt/comfort, Leo is a good boyfriend and an absolute sweetheart, we find out what's in the "bad memories do not open" box and why reader lost her memory, crying, vague trauma, healing

summary: Things are going so great at camp and with Leo, you feel like nothing could bring you down. You decide to look in the box, and when it doesn't go well, Leo is there for you. You realize that you're finally somewhere where you can do things at your own pace.

song recs: fear and loathing - marina, we are broken - paramore, stay - amelie obc, light up the dark - greyson chance (yes that is the theme song of this whole fic <3)

a/n: I am so emo about this!!!!! I can't believe light up the dark is over :') also I finished this yesterday but I completly forgot to schedule it because I got distracted but literally what is new!!!! when am I not distracted!!!!

tags @yesv01 @magcon7280 @avashaye @perseajohnson @afidiofobia @thatmultifandomloser @yelenabel0vaswife @almostjollypizza @fictionalcomforts  @lizziebitch33  @jacksondeeznuts @girlfriendwhoseawitch @urmum-xoxo @Asunnyhunny @dustyinkpages @cowboylikekelsey @legramilis @youkissedareaderinthedark @mrscarolscaramoucheplease @cosmiq-cloud @anything-forourmoony  @i-dont-remember-a-lot  @chasingpj @1dpjohoohp @mystic-writings   @babiesimagines @dreamerball @demirunner @if-only-i-was-fictional @inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800 @kiara7777

You’ve settled into camp nicely over the last few weeks, and you don’t think you’ve ever been happier. You’ve been slowly getting less shocked when people are nice to you, when other people there want you to spar with them or sit with them at meals. A lot of kids from Aphrodite cabin have even come to you for makeup and fashion tips, raving about how obsessed they are with your whole look. You’ve been happy to introduce them to goth and alt fashion (with the appropriate music recommendations to go along with it, of course), and surprisingly, they’ve been happy to listen. You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for something bad to happen, but it just… doesn’t. You’re starting to suspect that maybe things here aren’t too good to be true, maybe they’re just… good. 

The horizon is clear for the first time in your life. Literally. With the weather magic surrounding the camp, there’s not a sunrise or sunset you’ve missed since you came here. Your favorite part of camp is how much time you get to spend with Leo, and his friends who are now your friends, too. Sneaking past the cleaning harpies to a bunker in the woods is a little harder than sneaking down a hall, but you’re both making it work. You’ve had to incorporate more orange t shirts and light weight clothes into your daily style, but even though you were sure you’d hate it, you don’t mind too much. Like so many other aspects about living at camp, it’s nicer in practice than you initially thought it would be. A lot nicer. You’re reluctant to admit it, but you actually love it here. 

However, in spite of all the newly positive things happening in your life, there’s something that’s been bothering you, worming around in the back of your mind. Your memories are still gone, and there’s still a box under your bed taped shut, claiming to contain the bad ones. It warns you not to open it, and if it wasn’t written in your own handwriting, you’re sure your curiosity would have gotten the better of you by now. But even a warning from your past self can’t keep it at bay forever. You’re starting to wonder. You’re so happy now, happier than you’ve ever been, so what sitting inside that box could possibly be bad enough to ruin that? You’re not one to think in such a naive way, but after putting it off for as long as you can, your curiosity and impulsivity finally get the better of you. 

As you carefully open the box, taking care not to rip it, you sit on the floor next to your bed. The rest of your cabin is empty as usual, so you don’t mind laying out the contents on the floor as you pick through it. Your hand shakes as you pull out memorabilia one by one, laying them around you to assess. There’s some drawings, a few pictures, and a letter addressed to you. It’s only when you take each item out that you’re suddenly overwhelmed with the deepest sadness and heartache you’ve ever experienced. All of your memories, everything in your past that you’ve been running from comes back to you. Your chest and arms and stomach all hurt with the pain coursing through you. Your breathing is heavy and out of control as you open the letter addressed to you. Tears blur your vision before falling down onto the worn paper.

“Hey, are- hey…” You hear Leo’s voice behind you change, suddenly flooded with concern once he hears you crying. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you remember that you had plans to meet up with him before sword fighting. You suppose you must have lost track of time. You don’t say anything, but you don’t need to yet. He runs right over to you, sitting next to you on the floor, and pulls you into his arms without a second thought. Sobs wrack through your body as he holds you close. Your hands shake, still clutching the letter, now adorned with little tear stains along the corner.

“Hey, it’s okay… it’s okay…” He says, rocking you in his arms and rubbing your back. “It’s okay, I got you.” 

After a while, your sobs turn into sniffles, your breathing levels out, your heart ache eases. He holds you tight while you cry, and he’s so warm and reassuring. Once you feel a little better, you hand him the letter. Leo skims through it, his eyes darting over the flowy red handwriting. It’s from Eros, introducing himself as your real dad. Most of it’s pretty standard, he explains about being a demigod, and how that’s been the reason behind most of the hard things you’ve gone through. He tells you about the powers children of Eros usually have - including a heads up about the wings. After that, he tells you he knows about all the hardships you’ve experienced because of not knowing you’re a demigod. 

I’ve sent this letter along with a magic box from Hermes. Anything you place within this box, you’ll forget about until you take it out again. I hope this can help you transition smoothly into life at camp, and make things a little easier for you until someone from camp half blood comes to pick you up. 

That’s pretty much it, the rest is just Eros waxing poetic about love and sex. Leo folds up the letter, tucking it back in the envelope, and continuing to rub your back. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He presses a kiss to your hairline, and it’s quiet for a moment. 

“You don’t have to deal with this all at once, you know. You can start with something small, take your time with it.”

You let out a shuddering sigh, and he can tell you’re starting to calm down. 

“And you don’t have to be ready right now. Do you want to put some of this back?” His words sink in, and you nod, not trusting yourself to talk yet. “Yeah? Okay, let’s put this stuff back.” 

Your hands shake as you tuck everything back in the box, just like you found it. With each item that goes back inside, you can feel yourself forgetting more and more. The pain subsides as you stare into space, your mind going blank for a moment as memories fall away beneath you. You look at the letter from your dad. He doesn’t mention anything that happened to you, he doesn’t go into detail about any of that. Leo’s words echo in your mind. 

You can start with something small. 

You stand up on shaky legs, and tuck the letter under your pillow. Fatigue wracks through your body, and you feel like the fragile calmness after the wake of a hurricane. You look at the corner of the envelope, and take a deep, shaky breath. In that moment, you give yourself permission to only think about it, to only read it again when you feel like you’re ready. Leo walks up behind you, and rests his hand on your waist. 

“You okay?” His voice is soft when he asks, and you take a moment to consider. 

“Yeah.” You state, breaking the silence. “I am.” 

It’s the first time in a long time that you’ve been able to say that truthfully. 

“Are you ready to go kick Will’s ass at archery practice?” He asks with a smile, getting a chuckle out of you. He brushes his thumbs across your cheeks a few times, wiping away the dark makeup streaking down from your eyes. You let out a chuckle. 

“Yeah.” You nod. “I’m ready.” 

He wraps his arm around you, and you leave your cabin. You walk toward the archery range, and take in a big, deep breath of camp air. It’s naturey and refreshing, and with every breath, you feel a little better. Your mind wanders back to the letter, but as you watch other campers and nature spirits meander around, laughing and joking together as they talk, it really sinks in. You’re safe now. You can take your time with stuff like this now, you can go at your own pace. There’s no rush, not anymore. 

[wormdebut]

Hello! How about 21 for your Spotify wrapped? 👯

HI! I am so fucking sorry this took me forever. This one was a massive challenge for me because 21 on my Spotify Wrapped is Counting Worms by Knocked Loose. For any of you that know, Counting Worms is thirteen words long so I had to process how I wanted to handle this. (And work fucking sucks and I'm exhausted as hell but that's beside the point.) I hope you enjoy this. I actually love it a lot more than I thought I would. 🖤

----

'I wrote a song about getting better, it's a feeling I don't remember'

Steve stares at the words on the page, looking up to cock an eyebrow at Eddie, "What comes next?"

Eddie stifles a laugh. "Nothing does, Stevie. That's it."

Steve scrunches his nose, confused. "Thats--the song? That like ten words."

Eddie grabs the paper from him and smiles down at it. "It's thirteen words, big boy. And its--sometimes it's not about the amount of words. It's about feeling something."

Steve tries not to blush. Big boy certainly did a number on him. He would never fucking admit that--but, it is what it is.

He shakes he his head, to try and clear his thoughts, "Sure."

Steve watches as Eddie's smile widens, eyes crinkling in the corners. Christ.

"Did you?" Steve asks.

"Did I what?" Eddie questions.

"Did you ever get better?"

Eddie's smile softens then. "I'm working on it."

----

Steve always knew he was something--something not straight. He just didn't really have a word for it, and he tried not to dwell on it. Didn't get caught with drifting eyes in locker rooms, made sure Tommy wouldn't tell a soul about what they got up to. He didn't. Tommy might be an asshole but he wouldn't out himself or Steve…

Anyway, Steve always knew. He always knew and he had told Robin a few months after Starcourt. She helped him find the words for it. Bisexual. So Steve knew what he was, but he was fine ending up with a woman. That's just what he always figured would happen

But Eddie? Eddie changed everything.

Robin had told him just to fucking talk to him. She said that he was being a hypocrite because he had helped her get her shit together enough to talk to Vickie after everything and it had worked out--at least for a bit--but that's beside the point. The point is Robin had asked Vickie out and Steve just stared at Eddie talking, at Eddie playing D&D with kids, at Eddie writing music. He just watched.

He was scared because Eddie? Eddie was loud and confident and interesting and important.

Steve was just…Steve.

What would he even say?

----

It'd been a few months since Steve had found the song. Thirteen words.

He couldn't stop thinking about it.

'It's about feeling something.'

He still hadn't said anything to Eddie, but he needed to…Well, he wanted to.

There's only a couple of days left until the kids have winter break, and Steve is expecting them to invade his home as per usual so he has been cleanly all fucking day listening to Abba and thinking about Eddie Munson's stupid fucking hands.

He was feeling impulsive--he could talk to Eddie--he could. Eddie had said it wasn't about the amount of things he had to say it just had to mean something…right?

Steve grumbles out a sigh before stomping over to the phone. He dials out the number--has it memorized by now. It's late, he listens to the line trilling as the clock turns. 10:12 pm.

"Thanks for calling the bat cave." Eddie rambles off.

"Yeah, hi batman. It's Steve."

Eddie laughs over the line. "Stevie! To what do I owe the late night call?"

Steve steels himself. "Listen, I--can I come over?"

"Uh--yeah? Are you okay?" Eddie asks and Steve shakes his head, not that Eddie can see it anyway.

"I'm--I just--I'll be over in a few." Steve breathes. He can do this. It's fine.

"Okay, S. Just be safe--alright?"

Steve mumbles out an affirmative before hanging up and grabbing his keys.

----

He only paces outside of Eddie's door for a minute or two before he knocks lightly. Eddie is quick to answer, looking ridiculously hot for a man wearing worn out sweats and one of a thousand old band tees. He looks worried and Steve feels bad about that but--he's just gotta--

"Can we go to your room?" Steve asks and Eddie lets out a shocked laugh before nodding and heading back through the apartment. Steve follows behind.

He stands frozen in the bedroom doorway, watches as Eddie sits on the edge of his bed with head cocked to the side.

"What's going on Stevie? Was it the nightmares again because--"

Steve shakes his head, and swallows before just--going for it.

"Look--I've been--running so many things through my head. I've written speeches and songs--which is sort of your thing. So, I stopped that. But--I have thought over and over again about how to say what I need to say.

And you--you told me 'it's not about the amount of words, it's about feeling something.

And when I look at you? I feel everything--

And I just--I just needed you to know."

Eddie blinks up at Steve, eyes wide. Great. Steve fucking scared him. Awesome this is great. This was a really fucking awesome idea Steve. Nice--

"That was a lot more than thirteen words, sweetheart." Eddie smirks at him and Steve feels his heart stutter at the name.

Steve breathes, "Yeah well--did I fuck everything up?"

Eddie moves from his bed then, quick to meet Steve in the doorway. Steve is quiet. He watches as Eddie's eyes move from Steve's own, down to his lips and back up again.

Eddie brings a hand up to cup his cheek and Steve can't help the soft noise that escapes his throat. The other man swipes his thumb over Steve's cheekbone. "No Stevie, I really don't think you did. I'm gonna kiss you now, okay?"

Steve can't do anything other than nod.

----

[gothoffspring]

Ah yes the two genders, Stray Kids and WWE

I had to cancel premium a month ago but this was so fun to check out

[nononookytv]

power pop lives

[maximuswolf]

A FORGOTTEN SONG THAT'S VERY CLOSE TO ME

A FORGOTTEN SONG THAT'S VERY CLOSE TO ME Guys during 2022 time i was in a severe depression and my life felt very monotonous.. during that time i would read manga from youtube ( where the manga is shown in video format) in any case i was watching manga called " maidsama" and during that they would give us background music/ost... some of them were soooo good i downloaded them from youtube to mp3 and kept them on my phone... unfortunatley during 2023 my phone was dead forever and with that all those beautiful songs that made my life bearable that time were gone too... HOWEVER while searching for them a lot ( like a lot) i found some of them and their source.... Ztinfeng (pure&clean) as you can see this was a chinese music.. being from india these servers are pretty much impossible to go inside...PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! evsn one song would do its name is "looking for" by the same artist... it was available in spotify but it became blackened and i cant access it anymore (well i never did because i never knew the name .. i just know it exists in spotify but not accessible).. to someone saying again download it from youtube .. well the video was from kissmanga and they have been deleted from youtube due to copywrite....In any case 0lease help ur boy out.. thanks Submitted July 11, 2024 at 01:45AM by Quirky_Philosopher86 https://ift.tt/PHdyA5S via /r/Music

[tranz-regent]

tiz unfortunatley not on spotify but.

nother good alec zong

[bleepblopbloop56]

Man id love to listen to miles mckennas new song but unfortunatley uts on spotify and i litterally can use it without sobbing from frustration and Anger like it litterally makes me so angry i want to break my phone

[feralwerewolf]

Regarding your Spotify Wrapped reblog from a few days ago - I wanna know what #69 is on your top 100 playlist 😏

It’s not especially hilarious unfortunatley: it’s Battle Scars by Lupe Fiasco and Guy Sebastian. I just think it sounds nice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[writeandimagine]

Random Riverdale Things: Riverdale High

Can we just have a normal day in Riverdale? WIthout any murder mysteries to solve?

-Betty and Jughead working on the Blue & Gold

-Every once in a while they'll stop to give quick motivationl kisses to each other

-Or to joke around

-Cheryl and Toni making out behind the school bleachers

-Choni holding hands down the hallway and giggling

-They would also cuddle in the student lounge

-Archie and the Bulldogs practicing football or basketball

- Or somedays talking about stereotypical boy things

- Veronica and Kevin gossiping in the student lounge

-Eating cupcakes that Veronica had specially ordered just for them

-Josie and the Pussycats woking on new songs in the music room

-Or just jamming out to the Spotify playlist they made

-Sweet Pea and Fangs causing ruckus in the school

- They would never be caught

-But Principal Weatherbee already speculated it was them

-When lunch time came they all would sit at a huge,long table

-Cheryl and Toni would be on top of each other

-That's how close they were

-That's how they spent the first half of lunch

-Then, they hung out with their friends for the other half

-Betty and Kevin just talking about random things

-Jughead, Fangs, Toni, and Sweet Pea being mischevious

-Josie and Cheryl talking about Cheryl's relationships, music, makeup, cheerleading, etc.

-Veronica and Archie laughing at the stories they tell each other

-After lunch, unfortunatley they had classes for the rest of the day

-But when the school bell rung

-They would all race out of the school doors

And that's it! I just want my riverdale guys and girls to be happy for once. So I made them happy in this :) Hope you liked it!

[muditaforbucky]

by any chance do you know the link to Rae’s account? I can’t look for it nor can I look your account up

Hi so there aren't any playlists available on Rae's spotify anymore so there wouldn't be any point in me sending it to you really. Unfortunatley there's some technical issues with my spotify account at the minute but I'm working on getting it sorted, I'm hoping it'll be resolved in a few days, but it is there I promise and as soon as I get it fixed I'll let you know :)

[chiwoopsie]

actually i've taken being a law prof into consideration already but getting a phd in law is uhhhh very masochistic to say the least so 🥴 no thanks <3

ohhh so you already have some experience?? that's good at least you don't need to be nervous about that, it's not your first time teaching !!! but i'm happy for you, hope you have fun and the kids are nice 😌

ohhh !! kickball does seem like a lot of fun tbh i'd like to try it sometime 🤠 BUT SAME !! i'm rooting for vernon's team too bc they kinda suck so <3 i think they deserve some ego boost 🤠

i agree!!! either fries or mashed potatoes are the best for me too !! fries are irresistible i hate eating them bc i can never stop. and i try to avoid them as much as possible (i am one of those people who balances their meals and pays a lot of attention to what they eat in a day) BUT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭😭🥲 so i guess it's fries for me. 🥲 AND LOL I ASKED YOU ABOUT THE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP BECAUSE SAME 😐 it's tasteless for me but everyone seem to love it so much 😭 i've never combined corn and pork 😯 i shoule try it !! i'm not a big fan of pork ☹ i prefer chicken and beef, but mostly chicken 🥲

I DID MAKE A SPOTIFY PLAYLIST AND I ADDED YOUR ADDITIONAL RECS TOO SKAGSKAG I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'D BE SO TOUCHED OH MY GOD 😭😭😭 you're so cute 🤗 AND THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL A LITTLE LESS SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY MUSIC TASTE 😭😭😭😭

moving on <3 did you see what's the new mission? if not go here, if yes: do you like summer? what's your favorite season !! 😯 personally my favorite seasons are fall and winter (i just love cold weather, fall fashion, holidays, and the whole aes of fall and winter) BUT i think the ask game is fun !! the questions look fun so wanna do it?? and if yes !! pls let me know do you want me to pick the questions for you and you for me (we can like decide to pick 10ish or less? idk depending on how long they are lol) or WE CAN IGNORE IT AND JUST keep chatting about other things 💕

i hope you're having your hot girl summer!!!!! 💞 wish i could send you some serotonin pics of your bias(es) to make your days better but since i have to keep my anonymity, i can't 😔

- 💎

sorry for the suuuuper late reply setting up for school got me swamped ;;;;;; i've never taught in a formal classroom before but i have done after school programs and tutoring stuffs - nervous but excited!

YEAH a phD in law does not sound fun at all loool much respect to those who actually can do it tho lmao

eeee yes look at us potato allies and chicken noodle soup antis 🤝 i guess CNS is like comfort food for some folks but i think its better w/o the noodle alkdjfla

YES I DID SEE THE SUMMER ASK MISSION - I like summer, not my favorite though bc my fave is autumn tooo <3 Crisp fall weather + fashion + it gets warmer Just whenever there's sun honestly, I get a lot of positive energy from it ☀☀☀ Unfortunatley the sun hasnt come out where i live this summer so its like...not summer rip

Okay here are my summer ask questions for you:

4) If you could travel to any place in the world right now, where would it be?

12) What scent reminds you of summer?

13) What has been your favorite Seventeen summer comeback?

26) What is something that makes you feel nostalgic about the season?

29) What is something you do that can always lift your mood?

That's a lot lol but you don't have to ask me the same questions or as many/little^^

[wvlfepackmg]

Erick The Architect - "Arcstrumentals, Vol. 2" Out Now!

Erick The Architect – “Arcstrumentals, Vol. 2” Out Now!

What’s up everyone?

Hope you are having a good day! Erick The Architect released his solo project “Arcstrumentals, Vol. 2” available on Apple Music, Tidal, Amazon Music, Google Play & Spotify! Unfortunatley you gotta pay to play so I cant link it here. I do highly suggest that you check it out. I wrote about one of the track he dropped “Fruit Punch In Bora Bora” which was amazing. I linked that…