#also I hope light up the dark by greyson chance changes your brain chemistry like it changed mine!!

[fbfh]

light up the dark [XVII]/epilogue - Leo Valdez x reader

wc: 1.4k

genre: hurt/comfort

pairing: Leo Valdez x goth gf!child of eros!reader

warnings: hurt/comfort, Leo is a good boyfriend and an absolute sweetheart, we find out what's in the "bad memories do not open" box and why reader lost her memory, crying, vague trauma, healing

summary: Things are going so great at camp and with Leo, you feel like nothing could bring you down. You decide to look in the box, and when it doesn't go well, Leo is there for you. You realize that you're finally somewhere where you can do things at your own pace.

song recs: fear and loathing - marina, we are broken - paramore, stay - amelie obc, light up the dark - greyson chance (yes that is the theme song of this whole fic <3)

a/n: I am so emo about this!!!!! I can't believe light up the dark is over :') also I finished this yesterday but I completly forgot to schedule it because I got distracted but literally what is new!!!! when am I not distracted!!!!

tags @yesv01 @magcon7280 @avashaye @perseajohnson @afidiofobia @thatmultifandomloser @yelenabel0vaswife @almostjollypizza @fictionalcomforts  @lizziebitch33  @jacksondeeznuts @girlfriendwhoseawitch @urmum-xoxo @Asunnyhunny @dustyinkpages @cowboylikekelsey @legramilis @youkissedareaderinthedark @mrscarolscaramoucheplease @cosmiq-cloud @anything-forourmoony  @i-dont-remember-a-lot  @chasingpj @1dpjohoohp @mystic-writings   @babiesimagines @dreamerball @demirunner @if-only-i-was-fictional @inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800 @kiara7777

You’ve settled into camp nicely over the last few weeks, and you don’t think you’ve ever been happier. You’ve been slowly getting less shocked when people are nice to you, when other people there want you to spar with them or sit with them at meals. A lot of kids from Aphrodite cabin have even come to you for makeup and fashion tips, raving about how obsessed they are with your whole look. You’ve been happy to introduce them to goth and alt fashion (with the appropriate music recommendations to go along with it, of course), and surprisingly, they’ve been happy to listen. You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for something bad to happen, but it just… doesn’t. You’re starting to suspect that maybe things here aren’t too good to be true, maybe they’re just… good. 

The horizon is clear for the first time in your life. Literally. With the weather magic surrounding the camp, there’s not a sunrise or sunset you’ve missed since you came here. Your favorite part of camp is how much time you get to spend with Leo, and his friends who are now your friends, too. Sneaking past the cleaning harpies to a bunker in the woods is a little harder than sneaking down a hall, but you’re both making it work. You’ve had to incorporate more orange t shirts and light weight clothes into your daily style, but even though you were sure you’d hate it, you don’t mind too much. Like so many other aspects about living at camp, it’s nicer in practice than you initially thought it would be. A lot nicer. You’re reluctant to admit it, but you actually love it here. 

However, in spite of all the newly positive things happening in your life, there’s something that’s been bothering you, worming around in the back of your mind. Your memories are still gone, and there’s still a box under your bed taped shut, claiming to contain the bad ones. It warns you not to open it, and if it wasn’t written in your own handwriting, you’re sure your curiosity would have gotten the better of you by now. But even a warning from your past self can’t keep it at bay forever. You’re starting to wonder. You’re so happy now, happier than you’ve ever been, so what sitting inside that box could possibly be bad enough to ruin that? You’re not one to think in such a naive way, but after putting it off for as long as you can, your curiosity and impulsivity finally get the better of you. 

As you carefully open the box, taking care not to rip it, you sit on the floor next to your bed. The rest of your cabin is empty as usual, so you don’t mind laying out the contents on the floor as you pick through it. Your hand shakes as you pull out memorabilia one by one, laying them around you to assess. There’s some drawings, a few pictures, and a letter addressed to you. It’s only when you take each item out that you’re suddenly overwhelmed with the deepest sadness and heartache you’ve ever experienced. All of your memories, everything in your past that you’ve been running from comes back to you. Your chest and arms and stomach all hurt with the pain coursing through you. Your breathing is heavy and out of control as you open the letter addressed to you. Tears blur your vision before falling down onto the worn paper.

“Hey, are- hey…” You hear Leo’s voice behind you change, suddenly flooded with concern once he hears you crying. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you remember that you had plans to meet up with him before sword fighting. You suppose you must have lost track of time. You don’t say anything, but you don’t need to yet. He runs right over to you, sitting next to you on the floor, and pulls you into his arms without a second thought. Sobs wrack through your body as he holds you close. Your hands shake, still clutching the letter, now adorned with little tear stains along the corner.

“Hey, it’s okay… it’s okay…” He says, rocking you in his arms and rubbing your back. “It’s okay, I got you.” 

After a while, your sobs turn into sniffles, your breathing levels out, your heart ache eases. He holds you tight while you cry, and he’s so warm and reassuring. Once you feel a little better, you hand him the letter. Leo skims through it, his eyes darting over the flowy red handwriting. It’s from Eros, introducing himself as your real dad. Most of it’s pretty standard, he explains about being a demigod, and how that’s been the reason behind most of the hard things you’ve gone through. He tells you about the powers children of Eros usually have - including a heads up about the wings. After that, he tells you he knows about all the hardships you’ve experienced because of not knowing you’re a demigod. 

I’ve sent this letter along with a magic box from Hermes. Anything you place within this box, you’ll forget about until you take it out again. I hope this can help you transition smoothly into life at camp, and make things a little easier for you until someone from camp half blood comes to pick you up. 

That’s pretty much it, the rest is just Eros waxing poetic about love and sex. Leo folds up the letter, tucking it back in the envelope, and continuing to rub your back. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He presses a kiss to your hairline, and it’s quiet for a moment. 

“You don’t have to deal with this all at once, you know. You can start with something small, take your time with it.”

You let out a shuddering sigh, and he can tell you’re starting to calm down. 

“And you don’t have to be ready right now. Do you want to put some of this back?” His words sink in, and you nod, not trusting yourself to talk yet. “Yeah? Okay, let’s put this stuff back.” 

Your hands shake as you tuck everything back in the box, just like you found it. With each item that goes back inside, you can feel yourself forgetting more and more. The pain subsides as you stare into space, your mind going blank for a moment as memories fall away beneath you. You look at the letter from your dad. He doesn’t mention anything that happened to you, he doesn’t go into detail about any of that. Leo’s words echo in your mind. 

You can start with something small. 

You stand up on shaky legs, and tuck the letter under your pillow. Fatigue wracks through your body, and you feel like the fragile calmness after the wake of a hurricane. You look at the corner of the envelope, and take a deep, shaky breath. In that moment, you give yourself permission to only think about it, to only read it again when you feel like you’re ready. Leo walks up behind you, and rests his hand on your waist. 

“You okay?” His voice is soft when he asks, and you take a moment to consider. 

“Yeah.” You state, breaking the silence. “I am.” 

It’s the first time in a long time that you’ve been able to say that truthfully. 

“Are you ready to go kick Will’s ass at archery practice?” He asks with a smile, getting a chuckle out of you. He brushes his thumbs across your cheeks a few times, wiping away the dark makeup streaking down from your eyes. You let out a chuckle. 

“Yeah.” You nod. “I’m ready.” 

He wraps his arm around you, and you leave your cabin. You walk toward the archery range, and take in a big, deep breath of camp air. It’s naturey and refreshing, and with every breath, you feel a little better. Your mind wanders back to the letter, but as you watch other campers and nature spirits meander around, laughing and joking together as they talk, it really sinks in. You’re safe now. You can take your time with stuff like this now, you can go at your own pace. There’s no rush, not anymore.