#unfortunately my computer sucks and school tomorrow so i had to cheat and go through the game really fast if i wanted time at all

[bandanad33]

BOY WHO FINISHED PORTAL REVOLUTION!!!!

[dr-gloom]

Fall Apart

Ch 2

Pairing: platonic Analogical, mentions of past Prinxiety

Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides

Tags: Human AU, Asexual Virgil, mentions of a breakup, mentions of depression, very brief mention of self-harm

Words: 3,512

A/N: It’s based off of my personal experience with my most recent breakup. Convos are nearly word-for-word, Logan is my friend, my ex is Roman, and I’m Virgil. Please Enjoy! :) Fic is under the cut to save space on your dash. <3

Read it on AO3

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Virgil sat on his bed, staring at the screen of his laptop with a soft numbness that had settled in his bones hours ago when he’d first realized what happened. It was 11 PM and he’d been sitting in his room, in the dark, since he’d woken up to the messages on his computer.

It was summer break - well, as much of a break as you get between summer semester and fall semester, which was 3 weeks - and he’d barely heard from his boyfriend the past couple weeks. He knew that Roman had gone out of state to visit an old friend for a week, so he’d been expecting the week-long disappearance. What he hadn’t been expecting, what hurt, was that once Roman came home he ghosted Virgil for nearly two weeks. Virgil sent him messages occasionally, telling himself that Roman was just busy, or maybe he really hadn’t come home yet. Only small messages, like ‘hey, hope your day’s going well’ and ‘message me when you have the time. i love you’. He’d scarcely get a response, maybe a ‘sorry, been busy, school’s starting soon’ and that was fine. He understood. He could wait.

At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself. In the late hours of the night his anxiety whispered to him, telling him ‘he’s cheating on you’ ‘he doesn’t love you anymore’ ‘he never loved you’ . He’d chase these thoughts away with Disney movies (something they both loved) and the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack blasting through his earbuds. When the rest of the house was dark and his mother asleep, the anxiety would chew at his stomach and make his head fuzzy. ‘He finally realized that you’re not worth it. That you’re never going to put out. You knew sex was important to him and you let him lie to you because you loved him too much. It’s only a matter of time before he tells you the truth.’ He’d make the voice shut up by scrolling through their messages and reading over the countless times Roman told him that he didn’t mind that Virgil was ace, that he loved him for him, not for his body, and he didn’t mind being best friends with his left hand (something Roman’s theater friends teased him with relentlessly, but it was all in good fun; they liked Virgil and were happy for Roman).  

'You’re clingy. Annoying. You try too hard. Or do you not try enough? Maybe both.’ He’d turn off the lights, close his laptop, and cry himself to sleep because they wouldn’t stop until he finally fell unconscious.

Almost two weeks of silence, and then, a message sent 4 hours before he woke up.

after all the thought. i can't string you along into my bullshit anymore. i just can't. i realized it's just always going to end up like this. and yeah it sounds shitty, and yeah this really fucking sucks. but honestly, i'd rather be the bad guy rather than constantly stringing you along and hurting you in the process. it's not fair to you, it's not fair to anyone. no matter how much i like you, it just can't be, unfortunately. and by all means hate me, vilify me, anything you want. i'm just not going to do this anymore. just no more of this. i'm not running away, far from that. i'm facing this rather than hoping that maybe something will change, anything, so that i can continue like nothing is wrong. i can't do it. you don't deserve this. i'm ending it before it gets too far and you get even more hurt than you are now. so this is it. this is the last time. i'm not doing this again. and you won't have to either.

Virgil had felt groggy when he opened the messenger app on his phone, but not even 20 words in, he was wide awake. He stared at the message for what felt like hours before frantically typing, his heart racing and one thought in his mind; ‘ no no no no no not this please anything but this’ .

What are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me because you're gonna be busy??? Cause that’s not a problem, I get that people get busy, I’m willing to wait. Whatever this is we can work through it, can’t we? You haven’t even talked with me about it.

He felt like his world was caving in. He sat up in bed and grabbed his laptop, shakily pulling it into his lap and opening it up. The first thing that he sees once his screen lights up is Roman’s message on his Facebook tab, and he immediately opens Tumblr to distract himself. He ignores the few tears that slip, and the trembling in his hands. He tries to ignore the thoughts in his head, his doubts, how his mind screams at him ‘you knew this would happen, you knew and you did nothing.’

It takes a couple hours of Tumblr and putting on Pocahontas to make him clam down, but he isn’t at peace. He’s numb. He watches three more movies, sitting with his laptop in front of him, and lets his mind wander.

The call had come out of nowhere. Virgil had been distracted on Tumblr, occasionally switching tabs to answer Roman on Facebook. It was a pretty normal chat, just talking about their day. Roman had spent all day with his theater friends at dress rehearsal and unwinding at one of their houses and Virgil had gone to his summer classes. He hated that he had to take them and waste his chance of a summer with Roman, but if he wanted to get his Associates next spring it had to be done.

Roman said something about calling, and Virgil had agreed, not really paying attention as he went back to tumblr. Then, his phone vibrated beside him and he picked it up, answering immediately when he noticed it was Roman.

“Hey.” He went back to scrolling as Roman replied. “Hey, Virge. I wanted to talk about something pretty serious.” Virgil hummed, sharing a post.

“Well, you know that you’re ace, and... I’m not.” Virgil blinked and paused. ”...Yeah?”

There was a pause, and Virgil could imagine Roman nodding to himself on the other end. “I just wanted to... Talk about boundaries.”

Virgil clicked the down arrow on his keyboard, sharing some picture drawn by an art blog he loved. “Oh. Yeah, sure.” He didn’t understand why it was an issue. They'd been dating for six months, Roman knew Virgil was sex-repulsed, knew he wasn’t going to put out or reciprocate or even want to be... touched like that. Hell, Virgil used to vent to Roman when someone would get into that debate with him, or when a guy would break up with him over it.

“I just want to make sure that I don’t... Do something wrong. So... What’s okay to do?”

Virgil sat back on his bed for a moment, chewing his lip. “Well... You know sex is out of the question...” There was a hum on Roman’s end. “And... I don’t want anyone to touch my downstairs mix-up. Just, no. I’ll never touch anyone’s... stuff either. Uh..... make-outs and cuddling are okay...”

“Okay. I just... Didn’t want us to be... y’know, and then suddenly you’re like ‘whoa, where’s that hand now?’... I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

This was kind of weird for Virgil. He’d never heard Roman so hesitant and serious. Well, he’s heard the other being serious, when it really mattered, but the way he was talking, it seemed like he was afraid to offend Virgil. “It’s fine, really. If you ever did anything I’d tell you. You know that.”

He sits up and goes back to Tumblr while Roman talks. “I guess I just ....” The rest faded out as Virgil got distracted by his laptop, not paying much attention. In the back of his mind, he felt bad. He’d never tuned out the other when they talked before; he loved hearing Roman talk. He shook his head and tried to focus on what his boyfriend was saying.

”-and I just don’t want things to get bad, or weird.” Virgil hummed and thought of what he could say. He didn’t want Roman to know he wasn’t listening... “Well... I mean, you’re seriously one of the most considerate people I know, and you know what my whole ‘deal’ is, so.. I guess I just don’t see why this is so important?” He was honestly kind of lost as to why this was a Serious Talk, capital S T, when it was old hat for them.

“I get why it’s not super important to you, ‘cause this is all old news to you, but... It’s important to me. I want to do right by you.”

The next few minutes are a blur to Virgil. He can’t remember what was said now, and he doubts he even knew what was said in the moment. He’d been such an ass, tuning out Roman like that when he was obviously stressing.

“Well... Given what we’ve talked about and everything.... I think I’m going to need time to think. I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cancel our movie date tomorrow, and I’ll be going to visit a friend out of state next week, so I can’t make that date either.” They’d had a weekly movie date since they’d gotten together, and they were rarely cancelled, since the two spent a lot of time apart, going to different colleges and all.

Virgil feels his heart sink, but he keeps his tone casual to not let Roman know. “Yeah, okay. Let me know when you’re free.” And then they hung up. Neither had said goodbye, or ‘I love you’, which they always, always did. At the time, Virgil hadn’t thought much of it.

Virgil scrolls through their Messenger chat silently, reading over the messages, trying to think of where he went wrong, what he missed. He scoffs at an unanswered message he sent a few days before their talk.

fucking-

I’m literally in tears rn because my mom yelled at me

I was trying to talk to her but she was blasting the tv 'cause apparently she’s partially deaf when she sits in front of the tv or whatever

And I asked her to turn it down so she yelled

And I’m crying like a little bitch

Roman hadn’t answered until the next day, saying sorry for missing the message and sorry that Virgil had to go through that.

It was the first panic attack he’d had alone since they’d gotten together, but it wasn’t the last.

Virgil continued scrolling up, up, up. For days all he saw was him complaining. He’d been having a really bad month, and Roman had been busy with the coming play, so they almost never saw each other in person, and Virgil’s stress was making his depression and anxiety skyrocket.

‘Stupid, you’re so stupid. All you ever do is complain. No wonder he’s gotten sick of you. You’re a fucking depressing mess.'   Virgil wipes his eyes and keeps going.

At the beginning of the month:

Virgil: Hey

Roman: yo, whats up?

Virgil: Watching Night at the Museum

Virgil: You?

Roman: on the phone with friends

Virgil: Oh should I let you do that then? No worries

Roman: ????

Roman: did you want something?

Virgil: I mean no, not really. Just wanted to chat

Virgil: But if you’re busy idm

Roman: i’ll call you up when i’m done

He never had.

Virgil felt like an idiot that night. He’d cursed at himself for bothering Roman so much, for being clingy when the other was a busy, happy, normal human being with more than three friends who liked to talk to him on a normal basis because he wasn’t fucked up like Virgil was. And yet....

And yet, that had been the first time Roman hadn’t immediately dropped what he was doing to talk to Virgil. ‘Karma’s a bitch’ he thinks as he keeps scrolling.

Virgil: I miss you too. ♥

Virgil: Definitely having movie night tomorrow

Roman: yeeeeee

Roman: honestly are you free rn?

Roman: can i just waste your time for a bit?

Roman: or nah

Roman: that's fine if nah because i'm chill

Roman: chiller than ice

Virgil: I’m free, totally

Roman: nice

He smiles slightly. Roman could be such a dork.

Virgil: I just got sad because I realized one day I’ll finish the Family Guy game

Roman: ....

Roman: i’m not judging

Roman: but honestly that’s so cute and silly

Virgil: omg

Roman: i shan’t tell a lie

Virgil: Lies.

Roman: pfffff

Roman: sure

Virgil: Mwahahaha

Roman: wow you’re in a silly mood

Roman: i love ur silly moods

Virgil: Yeah idk why honestly

Roman: lol rip

Roman: i want to experience this

Virgil: Rip

Virgil: Let’s see, what’d I do today?

Virgil: I drew a picture of an anemone

Virgil: Then I did math

Virgil: Then I got mad at shitty drivers

Virgil: Then I ate popcorn

Virgil: Then my mom got moody

Virgil: Then I ate dinner

Virgil: And a frosty

Virgil: Maybe that’s it

Roman: i blame the frosty

Virgil: lolol

Virgil: Guess what I just learned to play?

Roman: the thong song

Roman: gay bar

Virgil: lmao no

Roman: those are my only good guesses my dude

Virgil: Riptide

Roman: i was gonna guess that too but thought against it

Roman was the only person who never looked at him weird when he was actually happy. He'd been with Virgil as a friend when his depression was worse than it was now, talking him through tough nights. He was the only person who never got mad at Virgil for self-harming; Roman just told him that he was sad Virgil was hurting enough that he was doing this to himself. He'd been the first to tell Virgil that he loved all the things the other hated about himself. The first to make Virgil think maybe I'm not that fucked up after all. Virgil had finally seen himself through someone else's eyes and actually started to like himself, if only a little. Virgil wipes the tears that’d started to fall and looks at the time. It’s well past dinner, and Virgil hasn’t eaten, but he doesn’t really want to. At some point he’d noticed that Roman had come back online, but he never responded to Virgil’s messages. He feels a small flame of anger in his chest before it’s quickly doused, and his mind starts running a mile a minute.

‘He doesn’t love you, he never did. He’s so sick of you he won’t even respond. He didn’t give you a choice because he’s done with your shit, all the complaining, the depression, the anxiety attacks over nothing . You’re too clingy for him, and yet you’re too distant to be anything more than some ex-classmate he’d see in the hall. Who would want to be stuck with that the rest of their lives? Especially when he’s getting nothing out of it? Seriously, sex is such a huge basis of any romantic relationship, and you won’t even give him a handjob. You have nothing to offer him. It’s surprising he hasn’t left sooner.’

Virgil is crying openly now, breaths shuddering past his bitten lips like a breeze through an old shutter. Without thinking, he scrolls back to the most recent messages and rereads Roman’s message before writing frantically.

Is it because I’m ace? Because of that talk we had a few weeks ago? Or is it because I’m not a theater person? Or because I’m depressed? My anxiety? Was I too clingy? did I try too hard? Or not hard enough? What was it???

He hits send, but a window pops up on Facebook, telling him ‘this person isn’t available right now’. Virgil blinks as more tears fall, his chest tight. He hits send three more times, getting the same message. He’s confused; even if Roman’s offline he’s always been able to send a message. He notices his friend Logan online and opens a chat window. He’s smart, he’ll know what’s up.

Virgil: Have you ever tried to message someone on Facebook and it tells you “this person isn’t available right now”?

The reply is almost instant. Logan never leaves him hanging.

Logan: Yes. I believe it means the person has blocked you, though I cannot say with 100% certainty.

Virgil feels the world fall away, the only thing left being the bed under his legs and the laptop in front of him as he responds.

Virgil: Oh

Virgil: Okay

Logan: They could be on Do Not Disturb.

Virgil: That’s Skype, not Facebook

Logan: Then again, Facebook was once extremely “buggy”.

Logan: It would give me such notifications on my laptop, but not on mobile.

Logan: So don’t be too certain.

While Logan had been typing, Virgil had opened another tab and searched “what’s it mean when facebook tells you ‘this person isn’t available right now’?”. As expected, multiple sources state that the chat has been deleted and/or the person has blocked you. Virgil gripped his shirt with one hand, chest hurting, and went back to the Facebook tab to reply to Logan.

Logan: Who is it?

Virgil: Roman

Virgil: I guess we’re exes now?

Virgil: Though he didn’t give me a say in that

Virgil takes a deep, shaking breath.

Virgil: I just looked it up, he blocked me

Logan: ...

Logan: Wow, that was fast.

Logan: May I ask what happened?

Virgil: I have no fucking idea

Virgil: He messaged me while I was asleep

Logan: Oh. Well... I don’t know what to say.

Virgil: Hold on...

Virgil copy-pasted Roman’s last message to him into the chat with Logan and sent it. For a brief second he hoped it’d say “this person isn’t available right now” so that he’d know it was a glitch. The message sent, and Logan replied.

Logan: Oh. Shit.

Logan never swore. Ever. He was succinct, precise, only said what needed to be said in as few words as it took. He saw swear words as unnecessary. Virgil let out a choked sob before replying.

Virgil: That’s what I fucking woke up to

Logan: I am confused. Is this because you do not spend much time together?

Virgil: You know, I thought that wasn’t a problem

Virgil: The last conversation we had that was longer than a couple of minutes was about how he’s sexual and I’m not

Virgil: And he wanted to know my boundaries so he doesn’t accidentally pressure me

Virgil: So yeah

Virgil: Pretty sure it’s just another fucking person who can’t stand me being ace

A memory flashes behind his eyelids. Sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Roman, moments away from an anxiety attack because he was so nervous that this would ruin everything. His eyes shut tight, ready to be rejected, and flying open when he heard Roman’s soft laugh. Roman taking his hand and telling him, “I love you for the person you are. Not the body you’re in. So I have a libido and you don’t, it doesn’t matter. I’m perfectly fine being best friends with my left hand for the rest of my life.”  Virgil had turned red, and Roman had laughed and kissed his forehead before they turned back to watch Mulan.

Virgil: He always said he had no problem with it, that his left hand would be his best friend, and me being comfortable was more important than anything

Virgil: I guess he changed his mind

Virgil: I’m just done

Virgil: I’m sick of people thinking they can handle this and breaking my fucking heart when they realize they can’t

Virgil: I’m done with relationships

He knew this was a lot. He knew it wasn’t fair to dump this on Logan, the one person he knew who didn’t really do emotions, but he was the person who was here, and Virgil needed to get this out before he exploded. Or did something worse. The little box in the drawer of his bedside table sang to him, and he was acutely aware of where it was in proximity to his body, as if it was all that existed outside of his immediate bubble.

Logan: Wait, was this specifically about sexuality?

Logan: Sometimes people think they can handle dating asexual people, and they realize what it entails.

Logan: I'm sorry, but I have to sleep soon. I'm heading to Bakersfield tomorrow. Stay safe and don't do anything irrational please.

Logan: Text me tomorrow.

Virgil: Ok

Virgil shut his laptop, staring up at the ceiling. He felt numb. He felt like he was being washed away by the ocean, like he was drowning. He felt like he was being torn apart and burned alive and so many other things he couldn’t describe.

He grabbed the box.

‘Don’t do anything irrational’.

Loving someone as perfect as Roman was irrational.

He let out a shaky sigh as the small glass shard split his skin.

He falls apart.

[lovelydeceitff]

Chapter 4

I don’t ever tell you how I really feel, cause I can’t ever find the words to say what I mean… Just a little bit of your heart is all I want

Shay

It’s only been 3 weeks into the semester and sad to say I’m already over it. Well not completely, I guess you can say I’m more overwhelmed. I’m taking 18 credit hours and I’m trying to get a head of my syllabus before I become lazy. My classes aren’t bad.. it’s just a lot of work. I have a solid 3.0 cumulative right now and I’m trying to raise that as high as I can by the end of the year. Im shocked that my gpa isn’t higher than that being that I’ve had over a 3.2 for like 3 semesters but whatever.

Living with Keith has became a bit stressful too… on top of my job and school work. He gets so stressed and takes it out on me. Right now we’re going through a thing where he’ll give me an attitude for no reason at all. I get him food, he has an attitude. I talk to him, he has an attitude. I’ve been dealing with this for so long I really should be used to it. He gets so stressed with school and work that I just become like a fly that won’t leave him alone. I understand. I try my hardest too. But imagine going through this often. Like at least twice a month, but for days each time. It’s tiring.

It makes me not want to be around him, but since he’s staying with me I have to. Some times I just leave my room and hang with the other people in the building when he lays down for bed so I won’t go to sleep angry. He’s so up and down I never know what to expect with him.

Right now I’m in my room waiting for Keith to tell me to come let him in. Today has actually been better than others. We’ve been texting all day and honestly that could be the reason I’m in a great mood. Keith plays a big part in how I’m feeling for the day unfortunately. If he irritates me, I’ll be annoyed until I can get my mind off how much he pissed me off. But today we’re good.

9:06pm Keith❤️: leaving the rec now, I’ll be downstairs in 5 minutes.

Once I got that text, I hurried up and cleaned the little mess I made trying to get dressed this morning then I went down to let him in. He wasn’t there yet, so I conversed with my coworker who was working the front desk until he arrived.

He knocked on the glass door to signal me that he’s here, I went towards the automatic doors so he can come in.

“Hiiii baby” I happily greeted him as he walked in.

“Hey” Keith said dryly.

See, up and down with him. He was just fine.

We’re waiting on the elevator which is right off the sitting area of the lobby. It’s people down here tonight and for some reason I feel like everyone can sense how awkward we look. Well, how uninterested he looks. I always feel this way even though we aren’t talking very loud and chances are no one is paying us any attention.

“How was your day today?” I asked trying to make some type of small talk to break the ice.

“It was cool.”

We got on the elevator. “Yea mines is going pretty good. You okay?”

“Yup”

We got off the elevator and I keyed into my room. Silence. No words from him. No words from me. Keith began to heat himself up some Ramen noodles and then got the books out of his book bag. I guess that’s what’s wrong, he’s stressed again

“You sure you okay? You must have a lot of homework.” I asked

“Im fine. I just have to revise my paper and turn it in. ” Keith said plainly as he started to eat his food.

“Well let me tell you about my day…”

I began to tell Keith about a situation that happened with my coworker and I. I started off with a what would you do question. But I got silence so I never even was able to actually tell my story. I literally asked what would you do if blah blah? And I got nothing back. Was I talking to a damn wall? Come on now.

“Keith, what would you do?”

Silence. He was eating his noodles while starting up his laptop. He gave me silence as if he started revising his paper and was trying to focus. To stop me from snapping, I just quit everything I was doing and went to shower.

This happens too often for me man. Imagine being so excited to talk to your boyfriend just to get pAid dust. All the time. It really sucks because when we’re good, We’re excellent. Imagine your significant other treating you so awesome and like you’re the queen of his world in front of all your friends. Making you smile and feel all special. Just for you to go upstairs to your room and not get that same energy. Instead you feel like you’re unwanted.

Unwanted. That’s how I’ve felt on way too many occasions. I’m fed up. Keith is so complicated and I hate it.

Before getting in the shower, I opened Twitter just to let out some type of frustration.

@ShiningShay: I’m so tired of this shit man

I scrolled a bit then got into the shower. I immediately started to cry. I’m not emotional from this one incident it’s this one and every time and other thing before it. He keeps coming to MY room and won’t even talk to me. That’s so disrespectful. Act like you love me, then you can get all sour. This particular thing has been going on for a few days. Eventually we’ll be good again, I just don’t know when.

I got out of the shower. And just relaxed in my towel for a minute. I didn’t even want to leave the bathroom. I grabbed my phone just to find a text message from Chris.

10:02pm Chris: You okay?

10:07pm Shai: Yea, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

I really just wanted to tell him everything that’s going on. But, that’s against the code. You don’t tell your relationship problems to another man.

10:07pm Chris: No problem, just checking on you. How’s your relationship going?

This is not an uncommon question for Chris to ask. I was never able to figure out why he asks me this. I think he just wants to make small talk, but sometimes I’m like naw…he wants to know if I’m single.

10:08pm Shai: Going good, hbu? Got yourself a girl yet?

Last semester, our spring semester of sophomore year, he’d come to my room in between our classes and we’d talk about his girl problems. Seriously. His girl problems, his friend problems, and any other thing. He claims he’d come to my room to nap since he moved off campus but this dude never went to sleep. He’d always wanna talk.

I decided to leave the bathroom. Keith and I still said no words to each other, it was still awkward and I kept laughing because of it. Not too long after i made myself comfortable, Keith closed his computer and got in the shower. I always feel like he’s cheating on me when these times come around. Keith honestly doesn’t have much time to cheat and I truly believe he couldn’t. I become the girlfriend that checks her boyfriends phone around times like this. I know, horrible. But can you blame me? If Keith isn’t talking to me, he gotta be talking to somebody but no. He’s never secretive. He’ll leave his phone around me, even ask me to check and respond to messages. He doesn’t do weird things that make me suspect that he’s cheating other than not talk to me.

It doesn't help that Keith is as fine as he is. So I always end up thinking some girl stole his attention from me. Keith and I met through mutual friends but I already knew who he was prior to us meeting. He was literally jaw dropping fine. I seen him and was stuck one day. Yea I don't know how I got him. But the universe wanted us together for whatever reason. It worked out though. Through his rollsrcoaster emotions we made it 1 year and 6 months. We'll make 2 years in March. If we can get to March.

10:24pm Chris: Lol no, no girlfriend. You know that.

10:25 Shai: I was just asking lol remember last semester you was telling me about those girls. You said you was thinking about wifing one.

10:25 Chris: Oh yeah! Wow Shay, that was so long ago. Things changed lol. If I had a girl, you’d know. No doubt.

I probably wouldn’t know. I don’t talk to Chris like that. We made a promise that we’d try to work on our friendship over the summer. We said that when school started we’d talk and hang more. So here we are.

Keith came out of the bathroom and began getting his things together for tomorrow.

“Did you get your paper turned in?” I asked him

“Yes” He said, but this time not as dry.

10:29pm Shai: You’ll get one lol then we’ll see.

I turned my phone on vibrate. I didn’t want to start any arguments on why Chris was texting me. Keith and Chris don’t know each other. They’re two different kind of guys, they’d probably never even run into each other. I don’t mind them knowing each other, Keith does know that Chris and I are friends. I just don’t want him to trip that it’s 10:30 and we’re talking about him not having a girlfriend. Even though the conversation isn’t like that.

Keith got into bed after he finished up his nightly routine. He told me goodnight and rolled over. I continued to play on my phone and text Chris. Homecoming is in 2 and a half weeks so I’m choosing between my final 3 outfits so I can order them. Homecoming came quick this year. September 30. Like wtf. We just started school. How can I focus on school work and what I’m gonna wear to the hoco parties??

I sent pics to my best friends, Ashley and Kammy. We’ve been helping each other so we won’t go out looking busted. Or in the same outfit.

I eventually finished up my convo with Chris. He asked me what I was doing, I lied and told him I was going to sleep. We ended our conversation with a goodnight. I really didn’t wanna keep talking with him. Plus I really did need to go to sleep.

————

I woke up the next morning to Keith calling me to open my door. He went to work and class. So it’s almost 9:30am. I hate being woken up out of my sleep so much. He knows that but, I’ve been doing better. I normally give him a huge attitude when he calls in the morning to open my door. I have no clue how he gets in the building but whatever. He came in and greeted me happily, shockingly. He talked to me about work and then we went back to sleep until it was time for his next class and my first.

I woke up to Keith preparing for his next class, meaning that it’s time for me to wake up. It’s 10:50. My class is at 12. I kissed Keith goodbye and then checked my phone.

10:37am Chris: Goodmorning Shay 😌

I sent him a good morning back while carrying confusion all over my face. I don’t usually get a good morning message from Chris. I thought he was gonna say that he was about to come over and nap before his class or something. Like he used to. But no instead he sent:

10:40am Chris: how’s your morning going?

Since when does this happen? I only get messages like this from Keith. He texts me good morning everyday while he’s at work. Chris must be trying to make sure I’m not sad from yesterday. Matter of fact, that HAS to be why. It is why. That’s how Chris is. Being thoughtful and trying to make sure others are happy.

10:45 Shai: just getting started, I just woke up

10:46 Chris: I forgot you said you start at 12! Well enjoy your day Shay 😌

Let me stop thinking so hard on this…

Time to enjoy my day, as he said.