#unfortunately it's never breaking free of the negative connections that have been made RIP

[fab-wolf-in-the-gloom]

Genuinely for all it's in the top 5 "things that the more people talk about it the less I want to hear about it much less read/watch/whatever it", I do think Homestuck is also one of the top 5 pieces of media I would make myself interested in if I could

[kat-hawke]

Preparations

(Following [Returning Home] & [Cover to Cover, for You and I])

The greater part of Kat's afternoon had been spent in the hidden basement level of her home, hunched over the workbench with various materials scattered around her. Things were both procured and stolen from Mechagon, Zandalar, and Kul Tiras. Most notably of which was the sack of powdered azerite with the Ashvane logo printed on the front. The second being the mechanical hand, half disassembled and modified to fit over her own like a gauntlet.

At a slow and deliberate pace, Kat repaired the leather bracers around her wrist. She was dragging the thread through powdered azerite as the mechanical hand stitched the tears together with inhuman precision. The old runic seals were systematically replaced, re-etched in the leather, and imbued with the azerite powdered before completion. While she worked, she could feel the subtle pulls of emotion from the dagger at her thigh; Alyssa was no doubt watching her soul and every reaction. Kat could feel her hunger for power each time she touched the azerite, and the fluxes in her soul with each prod of the bracers.

Dismissing the other woman's emotions, Kat pressed on. These preparations had to be completed. The bracers were not an option in her life anymore.

As she worked, memories of the dream-like state of her coma replayed, the final one in particular. 'We had a deal — I will get what is owed.' The voice of Erzis echoed over and over in her head as she questioned where the void-born being escaped to and what havoc it was causing. Kat refrained from going to the cave Erzis had been bound to since her return.

Sprinkling another pinch of powdered azerite into a new seal on the bracer, Kat's thoughts were interrupted by Alyssa's abrupt interjection.

"By the time this whole thing ends, I might be hooked on the stuff too.  Riley used it to fuel me."

Kat looked over at the bottles of liquid azerite as she paused her work. "Didn't just have her murder people?"

"Just one," Alyssa answers honestly, "and that was to test its effect on the piece of soul you left me."

"Well, probably for the better then. We don't need a bigger mess than what we already have." Pursing her lips as she returned to work, Kat moved a magnifying glass over the bracer to inspect the finer details for imperfections.

"Yeah, I'm trying to ease back my kill count," Alyssa's tone a bit sardonic. "I also hadn't met Riley before, didn't know anything about her or what I could ask...to save you though, she was game for anything it took."

A smile pulled across Kat's lips as she responded over the telepathic connection. "That doesn't surprise me. She and I are alike in a few ways, stubbornness and determination among them. Riley's had my back, and I've had hers for a while now. Come a long way from hardly trusting each other when we first met." Glancing off to the side, Kat looked to the damaged set of custom armor. "I guess, in a way, she'd been keeping me safe for years. Still feel bad about nearly bleeding out on her floor, though."

"Got the sense of that. She cares a lot. I'm glad I got to work with her. If anyone else were going to have the dagger, I'd trust it to be her."

"You'd have loved it if Sarah had found the dagger." Kat teased, realizing how accustomed she had become to having Alyssa's voice always around. She didn't linger on the thought, returning her focus to infusing the bracers.

"She'd have thrown me into the ocean first chance she got, I bet. Think she'd have been glad to no longer have me in the world."

"Sarah? Never." Kat's sarcasm was painfully obvious. "She might have used you as a prop in one of her shows. You could have been famous. If you ever made your presence known to her, that is."

"If she'd been the one to find the dagger, I would've," Alyssa replies after a pause of consideration. "I would've taken anyone I could get to try and save you."

"Mhm. Well, she should remain in her bubble of naivety."

"Agreed."

"The less she knows th—" Pain seared against the flesh and cut Kat's sentence short. A miscalculation resulted in the azerite burning through the leather, reaching the skin below.

"What's wrong?" Alyssa inquired in a flash of concern.

"Nothing," Kat grunted out as she removed the mechanical gauntlet from her hand to aptly strip the bracer from her wrist.

Alyssa's exasperation was palpable in the connection. "What caused you pain."

"I burned myself, it's fine."

"Your aura's been doing interesting things for the last while.  What are you working on?" Alyssa probed further.

"Fixing the bracers you broke," Kat stated, careful not to allow emotion into the thought as the leather was pulled from her wrist, the crudely carved and scarred over rune in her flesh exposed. Immediately she felt the effects of her waring soul threatening to become unstable. The unstable sensation was short-lived as Alyssa interfered, and Kat suddenly felt ill. Vision blurred, and the stomach churned, cold sweat began to collect on her brow.

"I don't remember breaking them. I remember that they broke." 

"I remember warning you they would break after you got all hocus pocus in there and damaged them the first time." Only a faint hint of spite touched her tone as a palm pressed against the workbench to keep her stable. "Whatever you just did, I am not enjoying it."

"I remember we might both be dead if I didn't.  It's not like I 'hocus pocus' for the fun of it." Alyssa promptly replies. "I imagine this isn't comfortable, but it will hold things until the bracer is in place again. Your soul really doesn't like to be...wrangled? Is that the word?"

"I don't care to be wrangled either. I've had hangovers more enjoyable than whatever this is." Curled knuckles lifted to Kat's lips, feeling as if she was going to vomit.

"You'll like this better than what it feels like if your soul rips itself in half, I bet."

"I can at least manage that, thank you." Kat spat back as she hastily and carelessly wrapped a single layer of bandage around the burn. With another disoriented sway, she had to grip the edge of the workbench, taking a deep breath to steady herself and fasten the bracer back on her wrist without hesitation.

Abruptly shifting the topic, Kat inquired, "Can you manage excess energy any better now?" 

"I don't expend much energy, nor take much in since then, so I don't know the answer,"  Alyssa replies honestly as her magic faded, and Kat's head cleared again.

That wasn't the answer Kat was hoping for. Turning to face the sack of powdered azerite, she pulled the dagger from its sheath as she stood. "Well, then. This is probably going to be unpleasant."

"What am I bracing for?" Alyssa asked in concern.

"Remember the Vale?" Kat looked down at the glowing engravings upon the dagger's blade. The pang of pain twisted her gut as she thought back to the time the blade went dormant.

"I used the most powerful Pandaren soul we had to restart your soul."

"That's unfortunate..." Kat trailed off. It was a minor detail, but no longer critical. "I meant the fight when I...thought I killed you."

"You're talking about the amount of energy that you used me to deflect?" Alyssa was seeking clarification, still concerned.

"Before that?" Suddenly Kat realized she was having trouble recalling the order of events as if the memory had been damaged. "You did something to cause a swell of energy, which I surged over the dagger."

"Oh..." Alyssa replies, she sounds more sheepish and less sure now. “I did something someone like me never should. I channeled the Light."

"Interesting," Kat says in that way, indicating she would revisit the subject at a later time. "You won't need to do that, I don't think, and I'd rather not experience that level of pain again, even if it was enjoyable." She quickly skips over that admittance. "It's the level of power in the attack I'd rather focus on."

"Okay...power I can do. The negative side effects on me had more to do with the Light's effects on me. I should be able to handle that level in magics I'm more comfortable with."

Kat pulled her lips inward as she looked from the dagger to the pile of powder, spinning the handle over in her hand for a downward plunge. "Just think of it as training." Without any real warning, the blade was buried in the azerite, and Kat took a step, arms crossing over her chest as she stared at the exposed handle.

She knew that any confrontation with Erzis would result in a fight, and she knew that in their current state, Alyssa would likely be a collateral casualty if the blade made contact with the lesser void lord. Kat could remember stabbing the faceless in the Vale, and the resulting destruction she was able to reap with the dagger. It was both the level of power and reassurance Alyssa could survive she wished to recreate.

Minutes passed as Kat chewed her lower lip, watching the teal glow of the engravings flicker with blue and gold hues. In Kul Tiras, they had coated their blades with the same powder; this would have the same result in theory. Once the azerite around the blade turned a pale gray, Kat yanked the dagger free.

"How do you feel?" She quickly asked.

"Dazed," Alyssa's voice was garbled, hard to make out. "Drunk."

Not precisely what Kat was expecting.

"On a scale of one to ten, how equal is this to the instance in the vale?"

"I'm conscious," Alyssa replies, still sounding a bit out of it. "Eight?"

"Can you expel any of the energy?" Kat watched as the flicker along the dagger engravings became less frantic.

"Out of the dagger?" Sounding foggy, Alyssa was trying to follow the question.

Kat rolled her eyes, patience wearing thin. "No. Into the nether..." 

Almost immediately after her sarcastic quip, the glow of the dagger suddenly swelled. Kat's eyes widened as strands of her hair lifted with the palpable energy in the air. Panicked, she turned around, making an effort swing the dagger towards the empty stone wall, but it was too late. The excess energy erupted from the dagger, scorching the wall and sending Kat tumbling to the floor in the opposite direction.

The sound of the dagger bouncing on the floor couldn't be heard over the ringing in Kat's ears. Dazed and disoriented, she slowly pushed herself back up, grunting as she held what was likely a bruised rib or two. Staggering her way across the basement, she scooped the dagger up off the floor.

"Okay," Kat grunted in pain, "not what I was planning."

"Sorry," Alyssa replies, "could barely hold it."

"It's fine. I'm used to it." Kat breathed out a faint sigh of relief upon hearing Alyssa's reply. "How do you feel?"

"Disoriented, confused. The last few minutes are a blur...I feel like I have a hangover." 

"That's better than dead." Kat attempted at humor as she approached the powdered azerite once more. "Ready to try again?"

"Are we in an open space?"

"Open enough." Kat looked over at the scorched wall.

"Hit me then. Tell me now what you want me to do with it, though."

"In the Vale I swept the energy over the dagger in a wide swing. The resulting wave cleaved everything within its path in half." Kat paused, speculating something. "Trying to recreate that, but something is different here."

"Maybe it wasn't the Light I was thinking of..." Alyssa attempted to recall the event. "This was when you gave me the azerite?"

"I wanted the power, and you were hesitant to give it. I remember panicking when you did, then the attack." Kat walks Alyssa through it. "I remember the pain, the amount of power, and I remember pushing it back over the blade."

"You were fighting the Faceless." 

"I was, yeah." 

Alyssa went quiet for a moment as Kat continued to stand over the powder. "Even if we figure this out, it won't matter anymore once I'm not in it."

Kat skips right over that comment, a thought she didn't want to entertain. Her paranoia and fear of betrayal kept her up at night as it was.

"The difference is that I pushed the energy over, or through, you. Because you passed it to me after I stabbed the faceless." She spoke as if having a revelation, looking down at the blade as it all suddenly made sense.

"I don't know if it was ours. I saw the city. It could have been an offering of power to tempt us." Alyssa paused a moment before moving on. "Let's try again then. I'll store the energy and siphon it into you."

Without a second thought, Kat buried the dagger into the powder a second time, letting go of the handle and taking a step back. Just as before, the teal glow within the engravings flickered with the subtle blue and golden hues of the azerite.

Watching with bated breath, Kat chewed on her thumbnail, mind racing as Alyssa's single comment effectively sent her paranoid thoughts into motion. The fear of abandonment ripping into her gut as she considered the possibility of a whole-again Alyssa walking out, or even turning the dagger against her. For a brief moment, she contemplated the option of using the trapped soul as payment for Erzis, to change the terms of their deal and cut off any plans of betrayal.

Shaking her head and returning to the present, Kat dismissed the dangerous lines of thought and reached out to pull the dagger from the now depleted azerite. "You okay?"

"Mmm..." Alyssa sounded more dazed than the first time, but she alive.

"Still better than dead." Stated simply before Kat siphoned energy from the dagger.

The sensation of which felt intoxicating. The swell of power and numbness to the brain as pure power flowed from her fingers and over the bracers, which fortunately held. She could feel Alyssa attempting to control the flow of energy, but Kat practically inhaled it all at an alarming rate. 

The pain of the overcharge was nothing new for Kat, but every time felt like the first. As if her skin would tear to shred and energy would pour from every wound. Eyes burned and felt as if they'd burst under pressure, the pained howl she screamed out always did little to mitigate the pain. If Alyssa had said something, she couldn't hear it. 

Kat lunged forward without hesitation, sweeping the dagger in a wide arc and forcing the excessive swell of energy back over the blade. Just as it had in the Vale in a line of pure power was sent out in a wave, cleaving several feet through the stone wall of the basement and the earth behind it.

A pleased hum was all Kat could manage as she went light-headed, swaying on her feet as she reached out to plant a hand on the wall for stability. Looking at the dagger, she was happy to see the glow still present. "You— You alright?"

"Mmm," Alyssa groaned again in response. "Hangover...but...yeah. Kind of not sure if it's actually better than being dead."

"With the former, I'm not alone." Kat doesn't elaborate as she leaned her back against the wall, eyes shut as her head felt swimmy. "That was better, not ideal, but better."

"It's draining...and I don't know if I could hold it long before we use it." Alyssa also sounded exasperated.

"We can probably skip the first part, go right...to..." Haphazardly Kat's sentence trails off as she slides down the wall to the floor, the dagger still in her hand as it goes limp in her lap, head falling to one side as she blacks out from overexertion.

[ @alyssa-ward​ ] [ Brief Mentions: @blue-eyedraven​, @tirasiantrouper​ ]

( [Chapter I] [Chapter II] [Chapter III] [Chapter IV] ) ( [pt.I] [pt.II] [pt.III] [pt.IV] [pt.V] [pt.VI] )

[elisaphoenix13]

Against All Odds (Ch. 5)

Stephen and Quill stayed with Scott until Sunday, and after being told by the junior to stay home on Monday as well, Scott was back at school on Tuesday. The cotton in his head was gone, and his sore throat not as bad but still bothering him since he was still coughing. His cough was still present and a little congested but he felt a lot better than he did over the weekend and he had more energy. At least enough energy to get through school without collapsing or passing out. The cough was the bigger issue.

Scott coughs into his elbow after he opens his locker and a small bag half filled with individually wrapped cough drops in thrust right in front of his face. He follows the arm connected to the hand and blushes bright red when he finds it attached to Quill. The football player already spent his weekend hanging out at Scott's with him and Stephen to help take care of him...and now he was giving him cough drops? Why? Did he feel bad that Scott didn't have parents to rely on and Stephen had the right idea about stepping up? Scott didn't want his pity. He's been just fine all these years.

"I figured these would help you get through the day."

"Why are you doing this?" Scott blurts out before he can stop himself.

"I've only known you for a week, but I like what little I've gotten to see...and I want to get to know you better." Quill says and Scott looks away to grab his books out of his locker.

"You've seen everything. Even the bad parts."

"Not everything." Scott stiffens when the senior shoves the bag of cough drops into the front pocket of his sweater. "I have yet to see you smile." Quill smiles at him. "I'll see you after practice."

Scott watches in bewilderment as Quill walks away, and he pulls the bag of cough drops out of his pocket after closing his locker. There was still some extra weight in the pocket of his sweater though, and when Scott stuck his hand back in his pocket, he came away with a Capri Sun. He definitely didn't come to school with it, so the only explanation was that Quill snuck it in with the cough drops. Now Scott just wanted to know if it was another kind gesture or if Quill somehow found out that he loved juice.

Either way, they were both nice to have. Especially the drops. They lessened the frequency of his coughing and were heaven on his sore throat, but no matter how much relief they brought him, Scott seemed to have a bigger...problem. People were looking at him. In class, in the hallways between periods, everywhere. Everyone whispered to each other as they watched him walk by and it had Scott extremely uncomfortable. Why was he suddenly visible to everyone? He doubted that they noticed he missed Friday and Monday because he was sick, and he had a feeling that it didn't have to do with that anyway. Maybe.

It was even worse at lunch. The staring was more obvious as he walked to the corner of the lunch room to his and Stephen's usual table, and he hated it. While Stephen was right when he said Scott wanted some kind of attention, this wasn't the kind he wanted. This was specifically why he made himself invisible. Scott just wanted to know why everyone was suddenly looking at him so he could make it stop. He wasn't about to ask though. He just took to ignoring the stares as he picked at his food and waited for Stephen to join him.

Ten minutes into lunch, Scott only managed to eat half of his meal before his throat started to protest and Stephen still hadn't shown up. He was possibly caught up with a teacher like Scott had been last week and Scott didn't want to be in the cafeteria any longer than he had to be. He could go to the library until lunch was over, as most students that suddenly realized he existed were ones that wouldn't go there unless it was required of them. Sometimes not even then.

Scott gets up from the table with his tray and backpack and as he gets closer to the trash cans to dump his tray, the head cheerleader and a couple of her friends step in his path. He attempts to move around them, but when they continue to block him and then fold their arms, Scott glances at them warily. Every one of his nerves screamed at him to run when he saw the nasty glares the cheerleaders were giving him, but he was frozen to the spot. What did they want with him?

"So you're the reason Peter didn't come to the mall with the rest of us like he said he would." The head cheerleader (Rachel, Scott finally remembers) says with a grimace, and holds her hand up when Scott opens his mouth to defend himself. "I don't want to hear any of your lame excuses or your lies." It was now that the cafeteria had grown dead silent because Rachel was extremely loud and calling attention to herself...and Scott. "I saw you with him in the library but I let it slide because it looked like you were just helping him with homework. But then one of my girls saw you with Peter at the grocery store."

What? He was seen with Quill twice in one day, on the first day their tutoring sessions started? Just how much free time did these people have?

"I let that slide too. I thought maybe it was a coincidence or he was thanking you for the help. But then he never showed up at the mall on Saturday." Rachel continues, and Scott was wondering why Quill not being there was such a big deal. "I found out yesterday it was because he went to your house. Not even for homework help either. He went because the only friend you have told him you weren't at school. He ended up staying all weekend because you were sick and no one was home to take care of you."

Scott gulps visibly, agitating his sore throat, and he had to hold back the urge to cough. How did she know that? Stephen wasn't one to tell, so maybe Quill did? Not that Scott believed Quill meant for this to happen. His football buddies probably asked where he was all weekend and Quill told them. It was very likely a simple question he answered was overheard by the wrong people and rumors spread like wildfire. Of course in just a few hours, everyone would know that Scott existed and it wouldn't be in a good way. How much did Rachel know?

"It doesn't take much to look into someone here. I know all about your parents. They're still not home are they?" Scott's eyes widen. "You know you were an accident right? The reason your parents are almost never home anymore is because they don't want you. They never did. How sad is it to have parents that have to leave their own house to get away from you?"

Deep down Scott knew that. It was the explanation. But to hear it from someone else? It brought the harsh reality crashing down on him and breaking his very fragile bubble of feigned ignorance. He knew he shouldn't listen to her, but unfortunately, her words were almost positively true.

"You're worthless. You mean nothing to your parents, the only friend you have is only your friend because he pities you, and Peter is only nice to you because you do his homework. You might as well be nothing."

The cafeteria remained silent. The tension hung heavily in the air, and Scott had to actually hold back his tears. He knew he wasn't wanted. He knew that he could very easily step outside the school's front doors, never come back, and no one would notice or care. He could run away and no one would even file a missing persons report on him. Just five minutes ago he thought maybe at least Stephen would notice, but the older boy wasn't even here right now and it made Scott wonder if Rachel's claim about Stephen was true too. That Stephen only pitied him. That he only took the time to make Scott feel less invisible because he was there. If Scott did leave, Stephen wouldn't have to put the effort in anymore.

The silence was finally unbearable and Scott set his tray as calmly as possible on a nearby table and made his way toward the cafeteria doors...and found Quill standing in the doorway. Had he overheard what Rachel said? If so, why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he stop her?

Because Rachel was right.

Scott swallows thickly as he pushes past Quill (and actually heard the senior yell "What the fuck did you say to him, bitch?!" But he was now convinced that was his imagination), and bolts for the stairs leading to the roof. He needed to be alone. Somewhere where absolutely no one would be, and the roof provided that. Too many people were in and out of the bathroom and the library would have some people in it during lunch, so he had to choose the roof. Even if that meant exposing himself to the elements.

The moment he stumbled out the doorway to the roof, he had just enough sense to prop the door with a nearby cinder block so he wouldn't get locked out, and went around the corner to sit against the side of the entrance. He pulled the hood of his sweater over his head to at least keep the rain from pelting his skin directly, and then pulled his knees close to his chest to rest his forehead on them.

Get small. Make yourself invisible again.

Could he even do that anymore? Maybe if he distanced himself from Stephen and Quill it might work. Push them away and then blend into the background again. People would forget about him again. All of this happened because he allowed himself to open up just the tiniest bit, and Rachel just had to get one of her claws into the stitches of his insecurities and rip him open for everyone to see. No matter how much she poked and prodded at his biggest insecurities, he would never let them see him run or cry. Even now he refused to cry. What was the point?

He didn't have a parent to talk to. The school wouldn't do anything about it, and he didn't want to bother Stephen or Quill anymore. They had their own groups of friends they could spend time with, and Quill could easily find someone else to help him with his math homework.

To think his life was somewhat normal and quiet just a week ago. Now he would give anything to be non-existent to everyone again. The attention wasn't worth it. It was negative and only made him believe that any love he saw in the world was a ruse.

Not only does high school suck, but so does the world.

"What are you doing out here? You're going to have a relapse." Scott slowly looks up from his knees and finds Stephen standing in front of him. "Come on, back inside."

"I don't want someone to be my friend because they pity me." Scott bites out.

"Well it's a good thing I don't." Stephen grabs one of Scott's arms and pulls him to his feet before dragging him back inside and out of the rain. "Scott."

Stephen stops them just inside the building and Scott looks down. "This is why I liked being invisible." He whispers.

"I know." The older boy mutters quietly.

Then the unthinkable happened. Stephen grabbed Scott again, gently this time, and pulled him into a hug. Scott actually stood there with his arms hanging at his sides as his brain tried to process what was going on, but then he finally managed to lift his arms to return the hug. He was hesitant at first, but the longer Stephen held him there, the tighter Scott made his arms until he was fisting the back of Stephen's soaked sweater. Scott still refused to cry (it was tempting though), but he still enjoyed every second of the hug. The first one he ever had and it was better than he imagined. The reason for it sucked but it definitely helped him feel a little better. It was proof that at least Stephen still cared about him.

"Would you notice if I disappeared?" Scott mutters into Stephen's shoulder.

The older teen snorts. "Please, I would find you and drag you back kicking and screaming."

The hug lasted a good couple more minutes until Stephen finally pulled away and held up the younger's backpack.

"We have permission to take you home." Stephen says softly and Scott furrows his eyebrows.

"We?"

Stephen motions toward the stairs and Scott finds Quill on the landing below. "I'm not the only one who would notice if you disappeared."

Scott looks down and away from the senior and stares at a stain on the linoleum floor. "That's probably not a good idea."

"Hey." Quill says and Scott looks back over at him. "Don't worry about Rachel. Everyone knows she's just mad that I'm more worried about my grades than I am about catching her STD's. Do you have any idea where that has been?" Quill half jokes.

Scott couldn't help himself after that. He snorted in amusement before it evolved into a small fit of laughter that ended in some wheezing when it caused another coughing episode. Stephen gently patted his back until Scott managed to catch his breath again, and then to his surprise, asked him to take off his rain soaked sweater. Scott did so with a frown.

"I don't have anything else."

Stephen sighs. "It's better to not wear it while we get to the car than to wear it and make yourself worse."

"Hold on." Quill says and climbs the stairs up to them as he takes off his own sweater before holding it out to Scott. "It's clean, I promise."

"Thanks, but--"

"It's fine. I run pretty warm and I can stop by my house after I drop you off at home."

Scott sighs and then finally takes the offered sweater, and after he pulls it over his head, he looks up at Quill and thanks him quietly. The moment he did though, he saw a weird flash in the older teen's eyes. A trick of the light maybe? There was supposed to be another thunderstorm today, but when he looked around the immediate area, there were no windows and the other two didn't look up at the lights. Maybe Scott was just tired and his eyes were playing tricks on him.

He was sick and had a really shitty day anyway.

"You're cute when you smile by the way." Quill says as he starts back down the stairs and Stephen looks at Scott with a knowing smirk when the youngest blushes.

Was Quill flirting?

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x01 recap

Okay so honestly, until the episode actually aired I wasn’t sure this recap would happen. This hiatus has been all too easy for me, because the finale-- or, specifically, the time jump paired with the realisation that Weller really was going to have a kid-- really made me question whether this was still the show I fell in love with, and if I really wanted to dedicate any more of my time to it. Plus, since I avoid spoilers, there were some serious concerns-- for example, whether Weller even knew why Jane left-- that I had, that I didn’t have the answers to yet.

Which meant that basically I went into this episode not really expecting to feel particularly positive about it. But instead-- like with the second half of S2 after that rather unpleasant start-- damn Gero managed to pull me back in, as he somehow always does.  

So here goes. Recap time. But fair warning: this review is about my personal feelings towards the show, and therefore you may not agree with what you read. Feel free to come and talk to me about it anyway.

Honestly I (like everyone else) knew a wedding was coming, but unlike everyone else I wasn’t all that interested to see it. I mean, I’m happy for them and all, but I’m more interested in seeing the being-married part than the actual getting married. But then the flowers, and the music, and the family looking so beautiful, and Patterson OFFICIATING, and Hirst and Stuart being there (side note: I am only now recognising Stuart as an actor from Gero’s old show the LA Complex, along with about six other actors who have been on this show over the years lol). But anyway, considering my biggest problem with S2 was the baby fiasco, I was expecting to feel the same nausea when seeing the baby onscreen as when I thought of it at any other time (it’s literally one of my least fave tropes, guys, so I’m sorry but I will always hate the existence of the baby), but it was fairly easy to just ignore it. I was bummed not to see Sarah or Sawyer, who would literally have never missed this wedding and tbh would have been a waaaaaaaay better inclusion in S2 and 3 than the unwanted offspring, but whatever. #Foreverbitter

That said, seeing the team laughing and dancing and having an amazing time was just the best. And of course the Jeller lovey-doveyness was so great, and maaaann I really wish we could have heard those speeches. Reade and Tasha dancing was a little bit borderline for me-- they’re so cute and I love them as best friends but PLEASE GERO JUST LET THEM BE BEST FRIENDS. DON’T PUT THEM TOGETHER. PLEASE DON’T.

Ngl I don't at all like that Jeller moved to Colorado. Big nope for me, though I understand why it happened, and god I did love the scene with the fam helping them pack and then tough-as-nails Tasha crying??? Let me die. But I also identify with her the most rn, bc she GETS it. With Jeller gone, their family will never be the same. The roadtrip montage was cute, and the carrying over the threshold???? Ughhhhh save me. I love that they took on the project of the house, the two of them making the perfect team (was there a baby in this montage? Nope, not that I saw. No babies here. Maybe just Allie’s new puppy that they look after from time to time. Yeah, let’s go with that. Bethany is a puppy they babysit and no one can force me to view it as anything else).

So as much as I’m enjoying this montage of domestic bliss, I’m kinda ready for it to end because GUYS PLEASE I’M TOO USED TO ANGST AND SLOW BURN, YOU CAN’T OVERLOAD ME WITH FLUFF LIKE THIS.  And then phew it ends, leaving us in the new Jeller residence with Weller just returning from napping in the laundry beside Bethany’s basket because she still howls when she’s left alone and so he had to pet her until she fell asleep. Awwwww, so nice of these two to look after Allie’s puppy while she works nightshift. I love that Jane cooked dinner-- I bet Weller’s been teaching her and lots of sweet and sexy kitchen times have ensued. Jane gushes about the puppy’s cuteness and Weller suggests maybe they should get one of their own. Good thing they’re talking about a puppy and not a child because wow “one of our own” sure had a very exclusionary implication, like Jane was not at all connected to any other puppies/babies that might exist. But anyway I gotta move on before the world I’ve carefully constructed in this Matrix starts glitching. Saved by the bell, or rather the phone-- it’s Keaton with a warning that their lives are in danger, and here’s yet another topic that threatens to glitch my reality. Keaton tortured Jane for THREE MONTHS. Brutally and without true remorse. He should be persona non grata with literally everyone (the team and the fans alike), but instead the writers have turned him into the team’s new buddy. This is the biggest issue I’ve had with the show, I think-- not Keaton specifically, but what he represents. Because honestly when I think about certain plot points in theory, I feel very strongly and very negatively about them; but when the show goes “no it’s fine everything’s actually great” it somehow sucks me in and I just go ‘oh okay cool everything is great, that’s good then’’, and I just?? For example, I really enjoyed watching Keaton in the finale, and then I thought about it after the episode ad was like ‘wait no I hate him, how did I forget I hate him?’ Like I stg Gero is a wizard, and like anything truly magic related, that’s both a good and a bad thing. But anyway rn I’m appreciative of Keaton because he just helped save Jane and Weller’s lives. So I guess he gets points for that, though technically Jane has saved his life a couple of times already now. Jeller proceed to beat the crap out of their attackers, and aaahhhh, isn’t this so much more THEM than painting walls and picking out cushions? Their Colorado life was a nice little holiday but it wasn’t them.  Naturally the gunshots wake little puppy Bethany who is now barking in distress, but they check on her and she’s fine. Keaton rocks up to explain that some Sandstorm member has put out a hit on Jane for $10M, and now no one can stop a shit-ton of mercenaries from coming after Jane. Keaton and Jane are in agreement about putting Jane into a version of WitSec-- hopefully with much more comfortable lodgings than the last time she was put up by the CIA. (#Yesstillbitter).  Weller tries to reject the idea, then decides he’s coming too, bc “You’re my wife” ughhhhhh, but Jane can’t let him walk away from the rest of his life. She knows what that’s like, after all, though lbr giving up her life as Remi was the best thing she ever did. Unfortunately for Weller, he has a very hardheaded wife and he sleeps very heavily when he’s cuddling a fluffy puppy, so Jane bails in the middle of the night, and nope nope nope  I never needed to see her crying as she pulled off her wedding ring, thanks Satan (I mean Gero). But lbr, Weller is Jane’s everything, and she would do anything-- including break her own heart-- to keep him safe. Oh, Jane, you noble idiot.  At least this whole scene has allayed one of my concerns going into this season-- Weller definitely knows why Jane had to go, so he knows it was done out of love, and not for the lack of it.  I still think she could have kept the ring, but I suppose by leaving it she was telling him that she was okay, that she was leaving of her own accord and hadn’t been kidnapped or murdered or anything.

Have I mentioned lately how much I really hate time-jumps??? After the finale, I desperately hoped that they had been married the majority of that two year gap and that their separation was only like three or so months. I even mostly-completed a oneshot postfinale fic along those lines, but then we found out about the 18 month thing and I was like “well screw you too, show” (#yepdefinitelybitter) and abandoned the story entirely. Plus, it’s been otherwise proved non-canon now, so that was rather a waste of time. But anyway, it’s now 18 months after Jane disappeared (undoubtedly aided by Keaton) and you just know the whole family will have been scattered to the winds. Another reason to hate time jumps. Speaking of the team, Hirst shows up at Weller’s apartment-- which he somehow still has; renting it out, I guess?? But damn he’s clearly richer than I thought he was. He’s about to sell it though bc he’s spending all his time and money searching for Jane, just as he has for the last 18 months. And on one hand, I can totally be like “awww he loves her so much” but on the other hand I want to be like “wtf you sadistic writers, you’re literally going to rip apart a couple who loves each other for A YEAR AND A HALF, which is a FREAKING LONG TIME (seriously where were you 1.5yrs ago? Think about that and how much of forever ago it was) and then also literally have the love of Weller’s life disappear into thin air, when he had already spent 25 years of his life searching for the last person he loved who disappeared, and OH YEAH, WHO TURNED OUT TO HAVE BEEN DEAD THE WHOLE TIME???” Legit, if you actually take two seconds to think about it, this entire plotline is freaking awful and upsetting and yet the show will literally brush it off like it’s nothing, or merely a tiny insignificant blip in their lives. Just watch. And so again, this is one of those moments where Gero bedazzles us into not being upset by things which very much should upset us. But ANYWAY, Hirst is there because the team has been kidnapped, and I use the word ‘team’ lightly here, because they literally haven't seen each other in like a year because everything fell apart after Jeller abandoned them to go puppysit in Colorado. Anyhow, a mysterious box with Jane’s name on it (or her maiden name at least, no one can convince me that the woman for whom Weller is her home wouldn’t have taken his name and the belonging that went with it) was left in Reade’s apartment, likely because he’s the only one left in NYC because all the others bailed. Seriously I feel like this team’s breaking apart has given ME abandonment issues, so I have no idea how they’re all managing. But anyway the other nifty thing about the box is that it has coordinates on it, very possibly leading to Jane’s location. Congrats, Weller, looks like you don’t have to sell your apartment after all. And you totally have all the info you need to go find Jane, plus an excellent excuse, given that only she can open the box and help them save their friends (who they completely ditched two years ago). Fun times.

Jump to Nepal, and the scene from the finale. Now we know for sure that the hug was because Jane had never wanted to leave him, which is nice. Also that whoever left the box (lbr we all already know it’s Roman) literally made it so the two of them HAD to solve this together. Looks like someone ships his his sister and brother in law lol…  Aaaand okay now Jane is glowing. She admits that it must have happened when she was in an accident some months ago that had her in and out of consciousness for days, and wow how must that feel for Weller? Hearing that she literally almost died months ago and he would never have known about it? Dammit Jane, I know you suffered without him too and that you were doing it for ‘good’ reasons, but I still think you were wrong to do it. If anyone has a time machine up their sleeve, please donate it to these guys so they can go back and make better choices.

But all realistic feelings aside, the pair are straight back into tattoo solving mode (admit it guys, you’ve missed this) and quickly figure out that the first clue is a reference to the place that Weller proposed to Jane-- St Mark’s Square in Venice. Which on one hand is ugh so sweet and romantic but on the other is… kinda unoriginal? Lol. But regardless I need to hear more about his proposal. How long were they in Venice? How long had they been together? Did he intend to propose the whole time or did it just happen? Why did they holiday in Venice as opposed to other locations? Tell me EVERYTHING, GERO. But anyway Jane’s like ‘It’s happening all over again’ and it’s easy to assume she’s unhappy about that, but then again, maybe she’s actually not? Technically working with the team on the tattoos was the best time of her life (with some exceptions here and there). Weller offers for her to stay out of it if she wants to-- which is big of you, Weller, it really is. I mean we all know you're desperately hoping she comes with you, but then again you want her to be safe, so… this must be conflicting lol. But of course Jane is down to rescue their best friends (again, friends that they abandoned #irrationallybitter), and lbr is probably super sick of climbing that damn cliff, PLUS can’t face leaving her hubby a second time, so together they set off to Venice. Yay!

Weller has taken some full-body shots of the new tatts (I feel like that had to be slightly awkward for both of them) and sends them through to the lab, where they are received by Stuart (onya for moving up in the world, buddy), Hirst, and… RICH DOT FREAKIN COM. I mean, we’ve all known for a while that he was returning, and suspected long before that, but honestly this is the moment that makes the episode for me. My fave is back and is making jokes about nudes, and all is right with the world.  Jane is like ‘wtf’, and so Weller gives her a rundown on all she missed-- namely, that her entire ‘family’ has become estranged-- Reade is working in a position that tbh feels above his ability and experience level, give that his predecessors are the superhuman Mayfair and the wonderboy Weller; Tasha the CIA-hater is now working for the man who tortured Jane; Patterson has literally moved as far across the country as she can, to do work as far from their FBI work as possible. See what happens when parents abandon their children, Jane?? Everything falls apart, so you better go fix it. Also, two things: first, I wanna know all about Rich’s dealings with the FBI in the last two years. Give me a spin off just about that, please. Secondly, did Rich and Patterson try to find Jane after she disappeared and how did they feel about their (apparent) lack of success?  But anyway ugh literally every line of Rich’s is pure gold. I love that he’s staying in the same safe-house she did?? Keeping it in the family lol.  And then ugh for all his jokes about the nudes etc, you can tell he’s legitimately concerned that they’re about to walk into a trap. Oh my baby loves and misses his friends and wants them back in one piece and I juST LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Meanwhile, in the fun bunker, Reade and Zapata wake up after being drugged, and while he’s all business, she’s like “it’s good to see you, even if it takes being kidnapped for it to happen” and we discover that they haven't spoken at all in the year since Zapata went to the CIA. Dammit Jeller, see what you did??? Everything is broken!!!  And now a long-haired Patterson is herded into their cell, and is understandably all ‘wtf’ about it. Well, at least they’re all in the same room again, right?

Seeing Jeller in Venice is weird. I walked right there in the spot where they're walking, many times. I saw everything they’re seeing now. And ugh Jane says it seems like forever ago that they were last here, whereas for Weller it feels like it just happened. Which subtly demonstrates how they’re no longer in sync, and then ugh Weller tells her that this was the first place he came to after she disappeared, going straight to the place that only they knew about, hoping that she was waiting for him. But she wasn’t, and ugh you can tell how much that hurt him, realising that she was never going to come. How long did he wait for her before he realised that?? Ugh. But I appreciate that she immediately stops to apologise and try to explain herself, including making it clear that her love for him was the driving factor behind everything she did. The choice of language by the writers is clever, though, because we (and Weller) hear her say ‘loved’ and neither of us know for sure if that love is still present tense or not. Which of course it is, but still, the suspense… But ugh poor Weller. He’s still so hurt. Jane can you just give him another hug please? For longer this time? Like, say, forever?  

Also sidebar: I’m holidaying in Vanuatu atm, and there’s an old guy swimming in the pool that I’m sitting beside, and he looked up at me as I was writing that last sentence and at first I thought maybe it’s because he’s a man and I’m female in a bikini, but then he goes (in a cute, accented voice) “Don’t work so hard. You’re on holiday! You should be relaxing!” hahaha. Don’t worry, buddy, I’ve been lazing by this pool for hours now, and I’m currently writing about some of my favourite fake humans. I’m all good.

Meanwhile back in the Blindspot world, Jeller find a case on the roof that has her tattoo on the side, and while Weller is all ‘wait for the bombsquad!!’ Jane ignores him and immediately opens it. Ah, Weller, did you miss this? I mean it’s just like old times.  Inside the case there’s a phone, and Jane calls the number, and Roman answers almost too eagerly. He’s clearly pleased to be interacting with them both, and proud of himself for his genius plan for ‘tormenting’ them (while also bringing them back together, freeing Jane from the hit on her, and giving him an excuse to interact with them whenever he wants). Aw, my psychopathic lil boy just misses his family. Honestly it sounds like he’s gone through a fair bit of trouble to get to the guy who holds the hit out on Jane and give them a way to take him down… a way that involves kinda almost killing Jane but eh, could be worse? And then ooooh they realise from the bells that he’s right there in the square too, and omg as Jane is asking him how they get their friends back (answer: apparently they don’t) she’s spinning around looking for him, and right behind her is a walkway with a snack bar on one side of it, and man I have such clear memories of walking along that walkway to our hotel or stopping into that snack bar for gelati. Ugh, I miss Venice. And then he says her name again (dude it’s Jane WELLER, not Doe) and she spots him and takes off after him and Weller suddenly panics because he doesn’t know where she is (ugh my poor boy) but luckily he manages to take the exact right turn to find them (do you know how easy it is to get turned around in Venice?????  He’d have never found them) and he jumps onto Roman’s getaway boat which is badass, and after what seems like several minutes of an unpleasant upper-body workout he manages to pull himself up on the boat and attack Roman. Meanwhile Jane, who got left behind earlier, has managed to just about catch up to them despite having commandeered what appears to be the Italian version of a motor-pontoon.  Also Roman manages to keep his sunnies on throughout their fight which is pretty damn impressive considering that Weller has bodyslammed him a couple of times as well as punching him full on in the face more than once. But eh. Weller does manage to dislodge Roman's jacket as he gets literally kicked off the boat, though. Good thing Captain Jane and her trusty vessel aren't far behind, and pick him up. I like that she called him Weller; that’s right Jane, just because it’s your name now too doesn’t mean you can’t still call him that. Oooooh but rather than being grateful for the rescue, Weller is too busy being upset with Jane for ditching him, which he’s understandably just a tad sensitive about these days. Looks like these guys have still got a little bit to go in terms of getting their groove back. And while Jane is lamenting Roman’s escape, Weller shows her the phone from the pocket of Roman’s jacket, his voice all proud. Yeah, son, you did good.

Back at the lab, Stuart is still being antagonized by Rich, who I have to say pulls off those flowered shirts better than I would have believed possible. Though lbr, I gave up on trying not to be inexplicably attracted to Rich a long time ago. While they’re cracking the encrypted phone, Jeller go ahead with Roman’s plan to get rid of Jane’s bounty. Not that the munchkin is happy about it, of course, but Jane is determined to have her life back-- lbr, after getting to see Weller again after all this time, there’d be no way she could ever let him go again. While Weller’s super against the death-mimicking drug, it gets support from Stuart and Rich, the former in simply confirming that it does what Roman says it does, and the latter detailing his own uses for it which include faked-death border crossings and, of course, ‘some sex stuff’. Not sure I wanna hear the sex stories, but the border crossings one sure has me intrigued. The guys do bring up one catch: if she doesn’t have the antidote within 90 mins, she’ll actually die.  Weller is NOT down with that, but before he can even get past the opening statement of his list of all the reasons why this is a Bad Idea, Jane stabs herself in the leg with the needle. His face is the most hilarious thing, like ‘Aaaaand she did the thing. Of course she did the thing. Why do I even ever try to talk her out of the thing, she always just does it anyway.’ lol. But let’s not forget there, he could literally grab the antidote right out of that case and stab her with it right now, completely counteracting the drug’s effects and preventing the plan from being able to go ahead. But she begged him to do it for her-- for them-- and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. Especially if it gives him the love of his life back. And come on, it’s not a true Jeller moment until one of them does something the other tells them not to, nearly dies, and is saved by the other, so…

In the fun bunker, the (now loosely defined) team is trying to figure out where they are (no clue), and why they were taken, and Reade immediately assumes it’s something to do with Zapata’s work at the CIA, and the two of them are immediately at each other’s throats about it before Patterson plays mediator, trying to get everyone to focus. On one hand I agree with Reade, bc the CIA is pretty shady and I don’t trust them, but Zapata’s probably right when she says that it must be about their time in the FBI since all three of them are here. However some Spanish-accented military dudes appear a moment later and tell them to break into a fancy safe or die, and hmmmm that is not quite what I expected. While Patterson assesses the crackability of the safe (fairly easy apparently, and dude how could I ever forget how much I love Patterson) Reade gets his wet-blanket on, and starts preaching about how they shouldn’t open it bc it’s a government safe and might have dangerous secrets inside etc, whereas Zapata is all “pshh, that’s a problem for another day. Today’s problem is not dying” which I fully support. And then they’re at it again (and not ‘at it’ in the sexy way, which in this moment would be uncomfortable for all kinds of reasons) but in the squabbly bickery way, but Patterson interrupts with some much needed truth bombs: Reade is mad at Zapata for leaving, Zapata’s mad at him for freezing her out after she left, and the team fell apart after Jeller left and they’re all still trying to deal with that loss. And ughhh everyone missed each other and they’re all unhappy in their separate lives and clearly the solution here is for everyone to come back to the team and stay together forever and never let Gero break them up ever again ugh. But anyhow, like all Patterson rants, this one results in everyone being like ‘sorry mom what do we need to do’ and ugh I’ve missed themmmmmm

Back in Venice, Weller is rolling a duffel bag with his estranged wife’s death-adjacent body inside. Act natural, Weller, because this would be a really awkward time to get stopped by the cops. Also sidenote, he’s rolling that bag like it doesn’t weigh much at all, which I'm going to pretend is just because he’s jacked and not because there’s actually nothing in the bag that they filmed with lol. Anyhow, the bag is now up on the altar in a church filled with bad guys, and time is running out before Jane needs the antidote. Of course the bounty guy is late. Thanks for my blood pressure issues, Blindspot. Also another sidenote, but the guy who greets him is totally a silver fox. Too bad he’s soon to be either arrested or dead. Finally his boss arrives-- he got caught up watching a glassblower, which tbh I completely understand, bc that kind of thing is awesome-- and then lolllll he listens with a stethoscope for like 2 seconds and then does a blood pressure and then declares Jane dead?? Um, no. As someone who has certified the deaths of many people in the last three years, and also interacted with a lot of death-adjacent people, let me tell you that a) a blood pressure is useless, b) he would need to listen for at LEAST two minutes with the steth, and c) there are several other simple checks he should have done that totally would have given Jane away.  But whatevs, his lack of any medical understanding totally works in our favour.  Weller is all “cool I love that she’s dead and that I’m getting all the moneys for it, hey can I have a sec with the body please?” but nope, the dude has his cronies ready to take her to the in-house crematorium (wow, talk about a one-stop shop) and Weller’s al ‘coolcoolcool’ *punches the dudes out and stabs Jane’s body right through the bag before being pulled away and having his ass handed to him*. And okay Jane would not have woken up instantly like that but DAMN if it doesn't look cool with her slowly emerging from the bag like an avenging angel (cool parallel with the pilot, of course) and then she’s all ‘how dare u hurt my man’, leading to a shot like in those cartoons where two characters are brawling inside a closed room or building and all you see is like the door bending outwards and clouds of dust puffing up and windows rattling etc, and then BAM BABY, JELLER IS BACK AND KICKING BUTT and also looking like they’re both a little turned on by it which is kind of awkward but at the same time I fully support it and Idk there’s just a lot of emotions going on rn

Rich excitedly confirms that Roman’s plan actually worked and Jane is now free, and ugh I like to think that it’s not just because he can’t believe it worked but more that he’s just really happy for them bc he ships them so much and it also means that they’re going to be coming home and basically I just  want the whole gang back together ugh. That might be a little difficult though, as Rich informs them of the not-so-good good news-- Roman sold the other three into slavery, but thankfully he’s freaking awesome (and knows it) because he’s managed to figure out where they were taken. Lol at Weller's “Ugh he’s worse than Patterson” hahahaha. Ugh I just LOVE THESE GUYS. And so the others are apparently being held by the Venezuelan government, and Rich tells Jeller where, but they can’t have any official help (Oh Stuart: “shouldn't we just call the president or something?” my sweet summer child) and so Keaton is there to hook them up with some of his contacts and goddammit why is hating him so damn hard. And awww I love that lil baby Stuart is getting to play with the big kids these days, and awww Hirst is determined to get their ‘friends’ back (not their ‘agents’ or their ‘team’) and ugh this FAMILYYYY. It’s becoming increasingly apparent that the original family of five has now been joined by the cool wine aunt, the awkward and often annoying but also kinda useful uncle, the wacky flamboyant cousin, and the shy young nerd cousin now added into the mix.

In the fun bunker, Patterson is casually cracking the safe while snacking on her MRE, while Reade whines about his own food and Zapata messes with him for entertainment. Ah, good times. Then Patterson opens the safe-- literally the others seem to be barely there for anything other than moral support-- and they realise that  the safe contains a government computer, probably with a bunch of dangerous secrets on it. Uh-oh. Before they can argue more about the merits of dying for the cause, though, the baddies arrive. They want Patterson to decrypt the computer which is gonna take a hella long time. Awww ‘we paid for the best computer specialist in the FBI’, and ughhh she really is. And then it turns out that Reade and Zapata are literally just there as incentive for her to get crackin’ or they’ll be killed. Eeeep. But our Patty Pat is a genius, and the baddies made the epic mistake of providing sustenance in the form of MREs. Basically if they use the hot packets from the food to turn the computer into a flashbang, they can distract the baddies long enough  to overpower them and escape. Ugh I’m so proud of my lil baby genius. And she makes Reade apologise to the food for badmouthing it hahaha. Man I have missed this lil team so much!!

Up in the sky, Jeller are rushing to save their buddies, but also having The Talk-- aka the ‘what are we now?’ talk, bc lbr Jane so desperately wants their life together back, both as a married couple and as kickass FBI agents, but she doesn’t know if she has the right to have it back or if it's even what he wants, and then he’s all ‘yep let’s be married again we can just sweep this past 18 months under the rug please I’m good with that let’s just do that’ and ugh Jane admits that leaving him and their life was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but-- and man does he feel the ‘but’-- she really found herself after she left him. Oh man, what a kick in the guts. I totally get what she’s saying-- it’s not that she doesn’t want to be with him, or that she can only truly be herself without him, it’s that the puppy-sitting life in backwater Colorado is just not for her (Well, duh). She did it once to make him happy, but she can’t go back to it again or she’ll go stir-crazy. Well, good thing these new tattoos have given them both the perfect excuse to go back to their lives of kicking ass in NYC! Poor Weller though, he doesn’t understand yet, and the way his voice gets a little choked up just kills me. Oh Weller, just because she discovered who she is as a person without you (bearing in mind that pretty much her entire life that she can remember, you’ve been there), doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you with all her heart!

Now Jeller are at the compound, about to search every building individually when the others save them a bunch of time by causing a hell of a ruckus (exploding computers, gunfire, all-round hell breaking loose-- you know, the usual) and so Jeller have to adjust their plans. In a big, kick-ass way. I love the three making their big escape and then seeing the tank a roll up and aim towards them and they’re all ‘shit alright you got us geez we surrender’ and then BAM, the tank destroys the bad guys’ vehicles and probably everyone’s eardrums as well. I just love the wtf moment that these three must have when Weller suddenly pops up out of the tank-- dad’s here guys! Time to go! And then they’re inside and mom is driving and they all probably think that they’re hallucinating from something in the Mexican Style chicken stew and ughhhh they must be so relieved and Jane literally drives over a car bc ain't nothing getting in the way of getting her family to safety. Also lol Patterson must have been raking it in with the app designing because she’s all ‘I gotta buy me one of these’ haha. I’d love to see her cruising around NYC in one hahaha. And then ugh Jeller are all in sync again , taking out the baddies following them and the team is half-confused, half-happy and they have so many questions and then Reade’s “We got time, this tank is slow as hell’ lolllll. Well he’s not wrong…. wonder how long it took for things to get awkward??

Aaaand the team is safely back at the NYO, and Jane is in the scanner again, and Keaton is there again for whatever reason-- oh, because he wants the CIA to take the tattoo cases, while Hirst is all ‘bish please” in her excellent southern accent. So lemme guess, this is about to be a joint task force… and yep, Reade is all ‘this is the most sensible option’ like he totally doesn’t just want Zapata back. Haha yeah Keaton, you get me on this. It’s nice to see Reade stepping up and going head to head with the big kids, though I still don’t think he’s ready to be in this position (Are we forgetting the whole Jones thing and the drug binge??). But whatevs. Reade goes to tell the team about the joint task force and they’re like yeah duh, we’re all already in’. Well, except Patterson, who is playing a little hard to get. Maybe she’s still struggling to deal with all the Sandstorm trauma? And then omg “Rich is gonna brief us in Stuart’s lab” was the perfect sentence to say right then to convince her to stay haha. Well played, Reade. Patterson is not happy at all about Rich being involved, though Reade defends him which feels kinda weird but I also like it. I wanna hear more about their interactions. Again, spin-off, anyone?? Weller is all ‘oh god please where is the briefing just give us the briefing’ so after a lil more Patterson/Rich bickering (ah how I’ve missed that), Stuart tells them what they already know-- lots of tattoos to crack, so they better get…. Cracking (*insert finger guns here*). Patterson is now all in, refusing to leave this to Rich and Stuart (“No offense Stuart” hahahaha), and Jane is in too, despite Hirst offering for her to be free if she wants. Aww, Hirst. You are a sweetie pie. And then Rich: “Backstreets back alright! Six best friends and Stuart!” And UGH YES. Give me all the Rich, and all the Patterson and the Stuart and the ughhhh all of it. I do love that all joking aside, Rich does very genuinely tell Jane it's nice to see her again. He loves his Jane and he would do anything for her ugh

Oooh Jeller in their old apartment, and he’s all unsure whether she really wants to be there with him and she makes it clear that there’s nowhere else she wants to be, and yaaaas my boy acknowledges that the move to Colorado really didn’t fit her and that she’d given up a lot of her own happiness and personal meaning just to make him happy. So now they just need to strike a balance, which is all she wants-- to be there with him and be happy and in luuuurve while also kicking butt and saving people.  And then ugh he pulls her ring out of his pocket and he’s been carrying it EVERY DAY since she left and he rushes to tell her that she doesn’t have to put it back on until she’s ready and ugh she takes it and kisses him and then lord save me from how husky her voice goes when she tells him she’s missed him so much and ughhhhh he’s missed her too and ugh my babies are about to have reunion sex on multiple surfaces in the house and I’m so happy for them. Damn Gero yet again you have managed to make the thought of 18 awful months completely disappear in the face of this excellence, and it’s all too easy to just let you make me forget, and ugh I want to stay upset about it but I just can’t. Damn it you crafty wizard, how have you gotten me so under your spell….

Lol Aunty Hirst checking in with Reade, seeing if he’s okay with all his fam coming back, but also warning him (and us) that none of these people are the same as they were two years ago. And to prove that point, uncle Keaton and Zapata are having their own, much shadier  little conference about one of the tattoos, one that clearly points to something related to either them or the CIA in general, but it’s something they’re both very familiar with and won’t let the others find out about. Oooh, secrets. Speaking of secrets, Rich and Patterson have apparently been interacting regularly over the last two years??? And before anyone goes there, NO, I  I don’t think their relationship is at all romantic or sexual. I think they’ve been business partners of a sort (probably with Boston as well, since he and Patterson kinda became buds) and I also think that Patterson has been secretly helping Rich help the FBI with their cases. But again, I want to hear ALL about whatever they’ve been up to bc ugh I love these two and their dynamic though I also kinda wanna give Rich a hug and tell Patterson to be nicer to her weirdo cousin haha. Oh wait, you thought we were done with the secrets???? Nope, Jane is looking unhappy and  hiding a bunch of passports (probably given to her by Keaton) away the moment Weller leaves, and he steps outside their (apparently-renovated) building and immediately encounters Roman, who basically blackmails him to help him with tattoo-related stuff or he’ll tell Jane about ‘what happened in Berlin’. Weller is agrees to help immediately, which kinda makes it seem like whatever happened in Berlin was really, really bad. And again NO IT WAS NOT SOMETHING ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL. Geez, people. Neither Jane nor Weller would have slept with anyone else during their separation. To think so would be to have no understanding of either of the characters, or their character growth. Far more likely Weller did something that would be considered illegal or amoral, like killing someone, or something. Personally I think he and Roman encountered each other in Berlin and had an altercation wherein Weller injured and very nearly killed Roman, and Roman only survived by pure luck? That feels like a thing he’d want to keep from Jane, that he nearly killed her only family? Plus then he would kind of ‘owe’ Roman as well,. But idk, maybe it was something even shadier. Guess we’ll find out….

And so okay, I admit it. You've won, Gero. You’ve done a ton of things that have upset me or that I object to on multiple levels, but try as I might I can’t escape from your web. Looks like I’m stuck with this show, which means you guys are stuck with me and my recaps...

[kylegoodmanuca-blog]

SneakerToons Speaks on His 'Illegal' Nike Art

When I first popped the tags off SneakerToons, it was just for fun. It was a cheeky dig at the swollentoed retros of beloved classics. I couldn’t really call myself a hardcore sneakerhead back then, but I had a background in automotive design and the aesthetics of ‘shape’ were fundamental to me. Good proportions and sweet lines were my bread and butter.

These cartoon interpretations of the sneakers we all covet seemed to strike a chord in the community and requests for prints began to appear in my DMs and comments.

It’s at this point that the future of SneakerToons could have split like the tongue of a GEL-Lyte III. On one foot, it could have remained just a hobby – a small part of my busy life that gained me nothing more than the kind words of a few like-minded sneakerheads. On the other, it could become a small business. It went the latter, and I poured my heart and soul into SneakerToons over the past four and a half years. And it’s brought me to my current conundrum: is what I do – what I’ve built my business around – sneaker art or a criminal act?

I’m certainly not the first to walk this path and I won’t be the last. There are hundreds of us reinterpreting popular footwear in our own styles and media. And, like me, many choose to try and reward their hard work by offering it for sale. It’s a decision that allows the admirers of your work to show love and support an independent artist. Sounds fair, right? I thought so too in the beginning. What harm could I be doing? I’m simply supporting brands, enriching sneaker culture and promoting the shoes we all love. Surely, no one could object to me making a little shoebox stash on the side? After all, it’s not like I was trying to sell fake Yeezys!

SneakerToons continued to grow, projecting only positivity within the scene and nurturing mutual respect among my fellow sneaker artists. An expanding following and official collaborations with Reebok in 2015 and New Balance in 2016 fuelled its growth. People who worked for the brands and stores behind the sneakers I illustrated followed my work on Instagram – and not once in four years had I received any negative vibes or inclination that I should stop what I was doing. With the blessing of the footwear industry seemingly behind me, it made sense to carry on.

SneakerToons went from strength to strength, expanding and embracing other products. I had the fortune to meet and work with some amazing people. These collaborations are some of my proudest achievements. They made all the hard work and late nights worth it. One colab in particular represented what I believed to be SneakerToons’ true purpose, and what I had been working towards since the beginning. Enter, SneakerToons 3D.

With the help of one of the UK’s top digital sculptors, SneakerToons 3D sprang to life as if propelled by an Air-cushioned sole. It was to be a line of three-dimensional art toys based on my stylised designs. I had a master plan and I was going to do everything I could to make it happen. I thought that it would allow me to not only provide an even brighter future for my family, but also allow me to give something back to the sneaker industry and community. I’m not always the most optimistic person, (my wife and best friends will testify to that!) but I had faith in this idea, and the initial response only caused it to grow.

I had been lucky enough to forge connections and relationships with some influential people in the sneaker game over the years, and I drew on them to help me achieve my goal. I had a string of positive leads and was in talks with one of the top two brands for many months. I started to get excited, like the feeling you get when you peel back the tissue paper on your latest cop. But, as the months passed, this excitement turned to frustration. The leads dried up and crumbled like a vintage sole unit from the early 90s. Emails were left unanswered despite much chasing, and all seemed lost.

Now this story could have ended right there – just another idea abandoned too soon, like so many other failed startups. Was it a victim of my own enthusiasm? Perhaps, but with a substantial following on Instagram asking when was I going to launch the first model, I decided to take a risk. I always knew that to do this properly I would need licenses, or at least an agreement with brands. I knew that it was effectively a death or glory scenario to manufacture a sneaker toy without their consent. After almost two years of deliberation, consulting with peers and industry gurus along the way, I decided to go it alone. I risked not only a sizeable chunk of cash, but also the future of SneakerToons. I genuinely believed that if I went ahead and produced the first design in the series, the Art Max 90, I could build enough hype around the project to prove consumer demand and gain the attention I sought from those higher up.

Two months after I opened pre-orders for the Art Max 90, my online store, hosted through Big Cartel, was served with a ‘Notice of Trademark Infringement.’ The email resulted in the closure of my store and the branding of my work as illegal.

I figured it would lead to a positive response and the possibility of working together would present itself. Unfortunately, it seemed that the attention I received had a far more negative impact. Two months after I opened pre-orders for the Art Max 90, my online store, hosted through Big Cartel, was served with a ‘Notice of Trademark Infringement.’ This email resulted in the closure of my store and the branding of my work as illegal.

If I’m honest, I don’t know for certain that the first 3D SneakerToons catalysed the notice sent to Big Cartel. The offending email had come from a ‘brand protection agency,’ something I had never heard of until then. They worked on behalf of a major player in the footwear industry and had spooked Big Cartel with a threat of legal action if my store, accused of selling ‘counterfeit products,’ was not shut down within two days. The fact the notice mentioned counterfeit products suggested to me that it was probably generic and possibly even automated. (Damn those bots!)

This made it even more frustrating. There was no way to counter it. I replied to the email without response. If only I could get word to the right people at the other end, maybe this could all be overturned. I decided to make a statement on Instagram in the hope that representatives of the brands might see it.

I was blown away by the response, and the countless messages of support I received. It was a hot topic and one that drew many opinions. On the whole, everyone was behind me. How could limited-edition art pieces that portray sneakers in a positive light and support the community deserve such treatment? However, among the outrage and artistic solidarity, there emerged a few sobering truths and a conclusion that I never wanted to hear.

The unfortunate truth is that – if you follow the letter of the law – my artwork is illegal. It seems that all is rosy until you decide to sell artwork that uses another’s trademark. You are free to create it and to display it on social media, but as soon as you use that ‘art’ to make money, you are breaking the law in terms of copyright infringement.

So what now? That’s a very good question. Should I call it a day and leave it to the rest of the artists, customisers, photographers and counterfeiters to carry on where I left off? It’s a tough one for me. I really don’t want to be doing something that is, in the eyes of the law, a big no no. But it’s a tough call to abandon my baby. I suppose I could become some sort of sneaker philanthropist, effectively a charity. Keep producing my art and releasing it in to the world for free... I would love to be in a position to do that – believe me. And while I don’t rely on my art to make a living as many do (and I have the ultimate respect for these people), I am very fortunate to have a full-time ‘day job’ that pays the bills. The commodity at stake here is time, a precious asset in anybody’s language. So to carry on committing a large portion of my free time to SneakerToons – with no reward other than the intangible feel-good factors – is a hard choice.

The events of the past few weeks have certainly got me thinking: is there a solution to this problem? In collaboration with a fellow artist, I’m trying to propose an alternative to the ‘cease and desist’ mentality and come up with ways brands and artists can come together for mutual benefit.

Is there a way to address and perhaps influence what is ultimately a blanket mentality when it comes to cease and desist? Is the one-man band producing posters in his spare time really akin to the boundless number of counterfeiters pumping out thousands of Air Max 1s and Jordans? Surely not. So is it the brands who are at fault? Of course they need to protect their assets and police those who are genuinely out to rip them off – those who steal sales and dilute the brand – but I also think brands are neglecting valuable opportunities. They are turning their backs on uncovering bedroom Banksys and hypothetical Hatfields, the very kind of creative collaborators and potential employees they seek.

What allows some creatives’ work to be praised by brands, while other similar crafts are deemed copyright infringements? Talents such as Dave White and miniswoosh are embraced by the world’s biggest sportswear brand and held in high regard. But what makes them different to Sneakertoons? I have no idea. Were they, and others like them, just lucky and merely in the right place at the right time? Maybe it’s that simple, but surely there is a better, fairer way for artists and creatives to be judged.

Right now, ‘collaborate’ is every brand’s favourite word. But if you’re a relative unknown or emerging artist, then there seem to be few, if not zero, options. I’ve tried for years to get in touch with ‘the right people’ – those who could discuss licences or grant permissions. People who would listen to ideas, even if in the end the answer was ‘no.’

I think this is where a possible solution lies. We need to work together towards a platform for discussion – a two-way exchange that could foster positive, mutually beneficial relationships. One possible scenario is a registration scheme of sorts, whereby brands would have access to what artists create; an online database of art that uses logos or other trademarked material. Brands could easily work with individuals who catch their eye, and also police and guide those who may be crossing the line. The database could be used to establish whether a ‘permission’ or a deal is granted, allowing the artist to carry on without fear of retribution.

I appreciate that this might seem like a utopian scenario, but I’d like to think it could be made to work in some form or another. As a designer, I firmly believe that the cross-pollination of ideas, disciplines and people is the key to new ideas. And as a designer, I also know you have to have your head in the clouds, but your sneakers planted firmly on the ground. So I understand that this grand plan would require a hell of a lot of groundwork. Something simpler to execute might be a talent search similar to those conducted by radio broadcasters – the kind of nationwide quests that unearthed mega musical talents such as Silverchair and Florence and the Machine.

I could go on, but I will leave it there. I don’t know what the future holds for me or the sneaker brand/artist relationship in general. l believe everything happens for a reason and as I write this article, new opportunities and connections are presenting themselves. I feel very proud and fortunate to have been able to make my small contribution in the form of SneakerToons and believe artists will always play an important part in the community.

This isn’t the end of SneakerToons. In fact, maybe it’s a jump start in disguise. As they say, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

[haulix]

The ongoing need for a music media revolution

For the better part of the last decade I have spent up to fourteen hours a day staring at phone and computer screens in hopes of writing something people would want to read. Sometimes I have found success and other times I have not, but through it all one thing has remained unflinchingly true: Getting paid for writing well is incredibly hard. It doesn’t matter if your article or blog post got an artists signed or convinced several hundred people to buy a record they otherwise wouldn’t have given a minute of their time, unless you play by a very specific set of rules, you are going to have a hard time making anything other than memories as a digital music writer.

This makes no sense. Hundreds of thousands of people around the world, if not more, read music news online every day. Maybe they check out tour dates, or maybe they watch music videos when they should be working, but they all rely on people like me and my many writer friends to create content for them to consume. We, like many journalists struggling to pay bills in the digital age, feel there should be a way to harness their need for content to create profitable careers.

If you’re a reader and not a writer you probably assume advertising keeps your favorite site online, and that may be true, but depending on the size of those sites the income received from ads can vary from pennies to thousands of dollars per month. When that money is not enough to cover costs, and it usually is not, many sites will turn to marketing companies that supply paid content for the site to run in return for a few extra bucks. Some companies will pay sites $300 or more per month to run a handful of articles with links and SEO terms intended to help a third party company get more notoriety. Sometimes the content these companies provide is false, or at least incomplete, but in order to get paid the content must run more or less as it was received. Publishers agree to this because they, like their writers, need more to stay afloat.

When publishers find themselves in positions where they are entirely dependent on advertisers and/or paid content they inadvertently hinder their publication’s ability to grow (and by grow I mean cultivate more readers, increase digital reach, and generally raise their level of notoriety). Writers are no longer allowed to cover what they believe is important until they have met whatever agreements they have with their financiers. They are also unable to be as honest in their writing as they would like to be if their publisher believes a negative comment or review might cause advertisers to stop working with them. It’s not uncommon for a site or magazine to choose not to cover and album or event because someone at the top of the company food chain believes negativity may scare away potential advertisers. It doesn’t matter if that negativity is based on fact or if an opinion is honest because money is the ultimate deciding factor in what content gets published.

The restraints placed on writers do not stop at saying whether or not something is worthwhile. Many writers, myself included, have also been encouraged to place less importance on discovery articles because new (unknown) talent doesn’t drive clicks or ad sales. It doesn’t matter if the person you want to cover is the greatest songwriter of their generation or the next act to sell out Madison Square Garden until advertisers feel the same way. It’s a completely backwards approach to covering the best of what’s next, but it’s unfortunately become the norm. Publishers would rather cover artists who have found a way to make themselves known without the support of their magazine, and then hop on their hype train, rather than helping establish the talent’s identity in the first place because it’s more cost-effective to be a follower.

A perfect example of this approach to publishing in action is the career of Chance The Rapper. I cannot think of rap writer who hasn’t been following Chance for four years or more, yet many of the biggest outlets only started covering his career within the last 24 months. The reason for this is not a lack of pitching from writers, but rather a perceived lack of interest from people who negotiate ad sales. Online publications can be far more flexible than print, as all writing is often viewed as potentially good ‘content’ as long as it brings in clicks and doesn’t take too much time away from assigned articles. But you have probably noticed that is also beginning to change as the fragmentation of how and people consume media is more splintered now than ever before with no signs of reversing anytime soon.

And don’t get me wrong,the relatively recent burst of new ways to consume news and opinion is legitimately amazing. We are more interconnected now as a global species than at any other point in recorded history. The ability to express ideas to anyone willing to listen has never been easier or more accessible than it is at this very moment, which is why it is so important that we develop methods and platforms that allow writers of all varieties to find and tell the stories that really matter rather than the ones tied to someone’s click-generated bottom line. The corner of the internet populated by entertainment news and opinion may have been born from fandom before it was considered a business, but for countless writers, editors, site founders, and photographers around the world it is a full-time job that lacks any ability whatsoever to guarantee a return for time invested.

I wish I could tell you that I had a solution. For many months I’ve talked to friends and colleagues about these issues, and to be honest we haven’t made much progress towards finding a reasonable solution. Though we all yearn to see some shift in the respect and recognition given to those who cover the increasingly vast world of entertainment so everyone else can stay on top of what’s new we have long learned to not hold our breath. Things have gone from bad to worse, with the rates for advertising in all forms falling as the competition for those ads grows, and through it all thousands download software that prevents what ads publications can run from even being seen (and therefore helping the site).

Our culture seems to understand that following Star Wars on Twitter and calling yourself a supporter is not the same as buying a ticket to actually see a Star Wars film. Yet many do not understand the same logic applies to the sites and writers who deliver up to the minute Star Wars information on a daily basis. The same can be said for music, sports, or any other form of entertainment. Our culture demands access to the things we love 24/7, yet people seem to believe the people who service that demand don’t deserve much, if any, recognition. Even if a writer breaks a major story there is little to no credit to be found, in part because anything that goes viral is copied, screenshot, or otherwise duplicated and spread without any ties to its source. Remember ‘The Dress’ debate of last year? Buzzfeed was the source of that discussion (they found it on Tumblr), but as the picture went viral the person behind the photo didn’t seem to matter. I’m not saying that author deserve a pulitzer or anything of the sort, but some kind of recognition for creating a topic of global conversation should be given to them.

I’m not saying that every writer deserves minimum wage. The vast majority of people creating content online can barely string together sentences, let alone do so without more than one or two grammatical errors. That said, for those of us who have done the work required to be proficient in writing there needs to be an alternative to what we experience in the job field right now. Getting paid anything is a miracle, and getting paid enough to not have a side job is starting to sound like a feat equal to spotting a Sasquatch. We get the journalism we deserve, and by that I mean we get the journalism we deem worthy of our support. If you know a writer or a group of writers whose work you enjoy and want to see more of then you need to help us, the writers, find a way to continue creating without having to worry about whether or not our words will eventually leave us bankrupt. We can built a better future for everyone, but in order to make it a reality we must work together.

If you want to start supporting writing right now you can always contribute directly to the author of this post through PayPal: http://bit.ly/supportjames

James Shotwell is the Digital Marketing Manager for Haulix. He is also a professional entertainment critic, covering both film and music, as well as the co-founder of Antique Records (RIP). Feel free to tell him you love or hate the article above by connecting with him on Twitter. Bonus points if you introduce yourself by sharing your favorite Simpsons character.