#unfortunately i already have set down two other xmas movies where if someone on the tv i retreat to my room and grump the rest of the day

[chevaliermalfets]

any other autistic people out there who just hate the movie elf???

[amplesalty]

Christmas 2019: Day 12 - White Christmas (1954)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Twelve singing soldiers!

So, Christmas has passed for another year and I have one movie remaining. Unfortunately, this is the closest I’m getting a White Christmas, in reality it was a relatively sunny affair this year, I only recall a couple of times that we had snow on Christmas Day in my life.

This was originally meant as a joke during last years viewing of the animated Mariah Carey movie ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ but why not, it’s nice to have an earlier entry amongst all the post 2000 media that these Christmas marathons tend to throw up. Evidently even back then I had envisioned this whole musical motif that has run throughout the month.

The song White Christmas actually had its origins in an earlier film ‘Holiday Inn’ back in 1942, starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, which led to it winning the Academy Award for Best Original Song before going on to be the best-selling single of all time. The Crosby version I find a little bland though and it moves at a glacial pace. Maybe it’s just because I’m more used to it due to its use in Home Alone but The Drifters version is a bit more interesting, probably down to the ‘doo wop’ style.

Crosby had quite an extensive on-screen career, matched (if not exceeded) by his work in the music studio given his 100+ albums. Granted about 10% of that are from post-humous compilation releases but it seems pretty crazy to me that someone could have so many albums., he almost seemed to be putting them out at the rate of one a month at times. I feel like I don’t know where to start when I get into a new artist and they have 5+ albums, nevermind 100. Though, in looking at this, Buckethead is infinitely worse due to his ‘Pike Series’ of mini-albums of which there are 275, leading to a total of 306 total albums when combined with his other work.  

I know I mentioned it in that post and have probably made reference to it before but in regards to Crosby’s treatment of his kids, this seems to stem from the memoirs of his son Gary in which he talks about the cruel treatment he and his brothers received. His brother Philip disputed these claims, whereas other brothers Dennis and Lindsay seemed to lean more towards Gary’s side of the story. Most of it seems to boil down to Bing being one to use corporal punishment, perhaps a little too heavy handedly at times, rather than him doing it just for shits and giggles. Whilst we’re talking family though, Denise Crosby is Bing’s granddaughter, she of Star Trek and Pet Sematary fame.

The movie starts out with its own form of violence, taking place during Christmas Eve 1944 as Cpt. Bob Wallace (Crosby) and Private First Class Phil Davis (Danny Kaye) are entertaining their troupe. This includes a big finale as a toast to their departing commanding office, Major General Thomas Waverly. It certainly creates some unique visuals, the performers vibrant Santa outfits standing out amongst the otherwise gray/green/brown looks of fellow soilders and the surrounding area. Their background of an idealic landscape of snow topped houses stands in stark contrast to the actual background of a bombed out town where the only houses left are but crumbling remains.

All this singing and dancing seems to have attracted the wrong attention though as a bombing run ensues and Davis only narrowly manages to drag Wallace out of the way of a falling building. When Wallace thanks Davis and offers to repay the favour sometime, Davis immediately asks to perform with Wallace when they get back home, to which Wallace reluctantly agrees. They’re a hit though as we montage through the end of the war, them returning home to some initial success before growing to the point where they’re producing a hit musical.

Shortly before Christmas, they receive a letter from one of their old army buddies suggesting they check out his sisters new act. There appears to be some initial attraction between Wallace and one of the sisters, Betty, which Davis and the other sister Judy are keen to fan the flames of. But first they have to deal with the sisters being outlaws of sorts when their landlord comes knocking with a bill for a burnt rug for which he holds them responsible.

He’s even roped in the local sheriff to come arrest them so it’s up to Wallace and Davis to form a distraction whilst the two ladies pack up and bundle themselves into a waiting taxi. This leads to them performing their own version of their ‘Sisters’ number involving hitched up pants and fancy father fans. It makes for an entertaining, campy performance, albeit one that is a bit repetitive having already heard the song in full minutes earlier. Betty and Judy perform it again later on as well, it would have been nice if they’d given them another song or two on their own.

This initial courting period is fun, it plays up this dynamic between Wallace and Davis where Wallace is a little more curmudgeonly and Davis is trying to lighten him up a bit. It looks like it would be shortlived as the guys are heading to New York and the gals to Vermont, but Wallace is talked into staying on and all four head to Vermont and even sing a quartet about how much they’re looking forward to the snow.

Only, they find there isn’t any snow and the hotel that booked the sisters is empty, to the point that they offer to pay the ladies half their fee to make up for the cancellation. By happy coincidence though, the hotel is run by the boys old CO Waverly. It’s amusing to see these big shot producer types still stop dead in their tracks in fear/respect of the guy. Wallace gets the idea of bringing their whole show up for the holidays in order to try and get some guests through the door.

It takes on a more personal edge though when Waverly shares with Wallace that he’s applied to go back in the army. Only, his contact in Washington doesn’t even register that Waverly might have been serious, playing it off as a joke that Waverly is enjoying a life of luxury in his retirement whilst everyone else has to suffer through work. Either that or he’s being too polite to reject him outright. Sensing Waverly’s feeling of being forgotten and useless in his advancing years, Wallace sets out to invite all the old gang to come up on Xmas Eve to show their appreciation.

This does all lead to a sweet, It’s a Wonderful Life-esque finale which I surprisingly didn’t feel emotional about. Probably down to Waverly not being the central focus of the movie, most of the second half is dedicated to the will they, wont they romance of Wallace and Betty. There’s a big misunderstanding when Wallace arranges a TV spot to invite all of his army buddies to the hotel but Betty thinks this is being done only as a form of free promotion for Wallace and Davis’ stage show.

You see quite a few musical numbers from the show throughout the second half of the movie as well, often under the guise of rehearsals. A lot of that is dancing which, whilst technically very well done, isn’t particularly interesting to me. There is one avant garde looking number where Davis and accompanying girls are clad in all purple and he’s singing about how old forms of dance are being replaced by modern ‘choreography’. They’re doing all these weird interprative dance looking poses and in one line he sings ‘through the air they keep flying, like a duck that is dying’.

There’s another song which involves a character called ‘Mr Bones’ who seems to tell terrible jokes in a very self aware manner so between that and the very meta choreography song, I have no clue how this show works structurally. Frankly, I’m just relieved this wasn’t a horrible black-face affair that I was worried about when it started as the ‘minstrel number’.

I preferred the songs that involved Davis more, Crosby is a bit dry on his own and Davis just injects a bit more fun into proceedings. There’s a bit of campiness to Danny Kaye’s performance, very exaggerated body and facial language at times. He’s like that even off stage, very eager to try and push Wallace and Betty together but when Judy proposes a mock engagement between the two of them to try and spur the other two on, he’s like a rabbit in headlights. I mentioned it earlier as well but the playful bickering between Wallace and Davis is entertaining, Davis more than willing to bring up the fact that he saved Wallace’s life every chance he gets.

It seems apt that music of this era is now very evocative of playing Fallout given that Danny Kaye was responsible for one of the songs that featured in both 3 and 4; Civilization. There’s a very tongue in cheek tone to that song which seems to be representative of him in general going from this movie as well.

Between this movie, the aforementioned Mariah one, Rudolph, Frosty and even The Christmas Shoes, we certainly have stumbled upon a strange trope of song based film adaptation. Perhaps this might turn into a running segment but that’s a story for another year...