#unfortunately Obi Wan is terribly obtuse sometimes and took a while to catch on

[starwarsbundle]

The Clone Wars Headcannons they probably deserve; pt. 1/6

And we are back, baby!

With what, I hear you ask? Why, THE CHAOTIC SHENANIGANS OF COURSE. Since ya’ll loved my Bad Batch Headcannons so much, now it’s finally time for the Clone Wars!

And who better to start out with than our sad-sassy-b1tch(tm), Obi Wan Kenobi?

(Also if you haven’t simped for this man at SOME point, you’re lying to yourself.)

Obi Wan is the kind of guy who is secretly ripped but no one realizes it - and that’s primarily because he always wears so many layers that he just comes across as soft. It was discovered at some point when he for some reason decided to spar shirtless, and every single Jedi who’d thought he was basically just a soft dad has gone 0_0 - until someone basically has to throw a robe over him like the Birth of Venus to keep everyone from melting in awe.

Drinks caf to live. Even in the low moments of the war, this man is a walking talking stress-bag, who DOESN’T get enough sleep - to the point where Cody has to basically file a restraining order on his General to force him to nap.

Fight flirts and Serious flirts. We all know Kenobi is the biggest sassiest flirt on the face of the earth, but here’s the thing - there’s two different types of flirt he uses, playful-I’m-not-actually-interested-in-you-romantically and seriously-can-you-take-me-on-a-date-or-marry-me-PLS. Cody and Satine mostly get the latter, but it is SO hard to tell the difference to the point where nobody knows whether to take it seriously or not. (Poor Cody takes it seriously)

FUN FACT: Rex is the only one who can tell the difference, and has been trying to help Cody figure it out for a while - with no success.

Is not the serious and sensible one of the Disaster Trio. Oh boy NO. He only looks sensible compared to Anakin - but away from him is basically the biggest disaster and danger magnet EVER SEEN. (Where do you think Anakin-dramatic-ass-Skywalker got it from, hm??)

Has great personal hygiene. Always smells like soft, sweet soap.

Is physically incapable of giving hugs (is touch starved(tm)) but would melt like butter in a hot pan into a hug. Might even cry a little too - he’s only held together by sass, stress, and caf, okay?

Is pedantic about having his robes ironed. He tried to drum this habit into Anakin - with many sighs and no success.

Absolutely has used his Disappointed(tm) Voice on everyone at some point. Cody has picked up on this voice and uses it on Anakin frequently.

Reads romance novels. Take this as you will.

Gimme Gimme Gimme A Man (After Midnight) by ABBA is absolutely his JAM. (Also if you haven’t listened to this song and thought of Kenobi, where’ve you been?)

Has a sweet tooth - and unfortunately no time to indulge it.

Obi Wan Kenobi… I swear everyone new to the SW fandom is like “no I will not simp for this man”, and then has the biggest Obi Wan simp phase ever.