#unfortunately I'm gonna be hella busy the rest of the year

[shslpunkartist99]

Hiiiiii

What a... fuckin' year

It's a doozy, so.. y'know the drill

So I've been more quiet as the year slowly drew to a close. The holidays have become a stressful time for me now. It used to only be because of work (work is always hectic for the holidays), but after moving out a couple of states away from my og home, it got more stressful trying to visit family. My manager didn't help with it either, literally delaying in approving my time off, so I had to go broke buying expensive plane tickets. Had to work a shit ton, both to make as much money as I could AND because it was the standard (we're an entertainment place for all ages, so yeah. Hella busy).

The holidays themselves were.. not the best. You guys know I don't talk much, and the few friends I have know that I'm not a social person (I feel constantly guilty about that). I would be perfectly content sitting at the edge of the table with friends while they chatted away. Hell, I'd be content not talking to anyone for over a month.

This ends up including my family, unfortunately. I know family is important and I need to keep in touch with them, but it's difficult. Both of our lives are extremely boring and mundane: we work, we rest at home, we eat, that's all. None of us go out to travel. None of us do any exciting activities. It's the same day everyday.

I bring this up because my silence has gotten people close to me to believe that I don't care about them. I don't keep in touch, therefore I don't care. I "only think about myself", so I'm selfish. I "don't think about other people", so I'm a careless person.

So that, uh... fucked me up.

We made the most of it, them claiming they don't want the holiday ruined (even though I was already defeated day 1 out of 4), so it ended.. ok? But it still sucked. Especially since I ended up getting sick. Medicine only made it worse because haha, why would it WANT to help? (Had me puking after taking it. Hadn't puked in years). I'm still sick now (haven't had time to properly recover because I had to work to make up for lost time, and my job wouldn't have me go back to work until I got a doctor's note, and that's just added stress I didn't want to deal with), but at least I have today and tomorrow to rest up.

Now that the holidays are done and over with, things should go back to how they SHOULD be: answering you guys' asks more often, putting up more frequent content and ideas, actually keeping in touch with friends.. the good stuff. Work should slow down to a much easier pace after this week (starting this week tbh, the next "big" event isn't until the end of this month), so I should be able to manage my time and energy properly.

I'm not gonna make any big deal about resolutions or anything like that, but I do want to try and get a writing piece done every week or something. Whether based on an existing idea or something random. I want to get the flow going again. Art shouldn't be an issue. Streaming will still be random.

The main thing is also to socialize again. Kim, Shades, I missed you guys. Kinda left ya on read, and I know you guys are super understanding and stuff, but it feels very unfair that you guys do a lot for me, and I don't do anything back. I'm gonna regain focus and energy to properly return the favor. I'm gonna try to keep the same energy with my family too. As shitty as that visit went, they're all I got, and they're all going through issues as well. So if me messaging them a "Hey, how are you?" sparks some joy in them, then I'll do that. At least for my bro, who I feel has been going through the most. He deserves better.

I still got some recovery to do. Not just with the sick or the mental, but also taking care of my home and better habits. Haven't been cleaning or cooking lately because of depression, and it's starting to show. I need to fix that up. But I'm just relieved the year is over, and I don't have to worry as much about work or spending lots of money or traveling or any other shit going on. I can finally (hopefully) relax..

If it's seen as selfish to take care of myself.. tbh? I'm defeated. I don't care anymore. I'm barely holding myself together with cheap tape. But with things easing up, it should be better. Should be easier.

I might still be a lil quiet here still until at least the sick is gone, but I might do lil stuff here and there. Probably have the Punks take over a lil for fun. I've been thinking about them a lot, as well as the comfort characters Keith, Leroy, and Naomi (I've actually been having multiple dreams with her, which made me really happy. I'll talk about them one day. She's so cool).

You guys have made for a great year tbh. Helping me develop ideas and being interested in my silly gay characters and aus. Idk how many of you are here (or still here), but I wouldn't have a happy corner without you guys. Thank you so much. I hope you guys had a great holiday, had a good enough year, and will continue to have fun times for the current future.

♤♡◇♧Bloop♧◇♡♤

[i-live-for-female-characters]

The next update schedule looks so good! Glad Theodora is getting 4 chapters 😍

New romance club eps from Facebook