#unfortunately I might be thinking about this post for way too long thank you op

[ooffmlsorry]

OP Men Dating a "Girly Girl"

A/N: sorry this took so long and I haven't posted anything original in a minute my life is mess and I'm so very tired jfc...I know this isn't more than my usual group but I was just gonna stop at Luffy and then decided to add Ace and Sabo as a thank you because writing these and putting them on Tumblr has been really good for me, so thank you for always being here to indulge me 🥲 ❤️

Sanji, Zoro, Law, Luffy, Ace, Sabo

Sanji

Let's be honest, girly-girls drive Sanji craaaazzzzyy (not that all women don't, but he's definitely more partial to the feminine ones) Your make-up, pretty skirts and dresses, jewelry, and manicure, he can't help fawn over you constantly 😍Although you do it because you enjoy it, it's nice that your efforts are so appreciated!!

He spoils you soooo baaaddd!! He literally can't help himself when he sees something pretty or cute that reminds him of you, he has to get it for you. You're drowning in squishmallows at this point.

A river of blood shoots from him every time you show off a new outfit. You're going to kill him and he'll thank you for it.

Dressing up in nice outfits together, especially on date night, is a shared activity that you love to do together. Y'all are living your best happily ever after lives.

Ya'll definitely have scheduled self-care nights. You put on some slow music, open a bottle of wine, draw a bubble bath, all that.

He's utterly useless when it comes to helping you pick your outfits or makeup if you're stuck because he loves you in everything, it's too hard for him to pick. You're his perfect, beautiful Y/N-swaaaaan 😍💖💖✨

He does love to see you in pink or red though so he might default to those colors

Don't try to test your makeup on him lol, you're going to re-awaken the gender identity crisis...I mean Kamabakka trauma

Listen...I'm not saying Sanji has a mommy kink...I'm not even at Whole Cake Island so idk wtf is going on there. All I'm saying is if you give this man a bath, wrap him in a towel to dry him off, and rub him down with luxurious lotions and oils, you might awaken something...that's all...👀

ZORO

He has no clue wtf you're doing. If it weren't for the fact that there's no proof that witches exist in this world, he'd think you are one

He looks at your vanity full of serums, creams, scrubs, lotions, etc, not to mention the makeup and he's like "??????" Just completely baffled

But what do you expect? This man would use that five-in-one Irish Spring soap if he could.

Just because he doesn't understand it doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate and admire the fact that you have extensive knowledge in something he can't even comprehend

He knows you like nice shiny things, and again, while he doesn't get it, he does think it's really, really cute when you go starry-eyed over a necklace or an outfit in a store.

In the same vein, he knows how much you love cute things and animals. He has absolutely found a cute animal in the jungle, picked it up, and brought it to you just to show you because he knew you'd love it.

Sometimes in his own gruff way he'll agree with you that it's pretty cute. Thank you for helping this manly man admit things are cute and that's okay.

Other times, he's the one making sure you don't get distracted because it's so cute

Unfortunately and fortunately, you're pretty to him no matter what you do to yourself so it's all kind of a moot point to him.

You can try to ask him about which 'x' to wear, sometimes it's helpful because he'll throw out a really practical answer and then other times he's like "How 'bout you just go naked" 😏.

He'll wear a face mask with you like...twice a year. And he's going to bitch and moan about it but he does it because he loves you. The entire process is like trying to give a cat a bath "WHY IS IT SO COLD? THIS STAYS ON MY FACE FOR HOW LONG???"

Exfoliate this man at your own risk...I'm dead serious that water is going to be brown

LAW

I need you to know right now this man will let you paint his nails!!! I mean, not like gel or acrylics or anything, but he'll let you paint them any color as long as it's a dark shade of that color. You once designed Bepo on his middle fingers. He did in fact flip people off a lot more often when he had them.

Let's you wear a pastel boiler suit because you he loves you and wants to see you happy

Much like Zoro, he's got no clue what you're doing. He'll stand back and watch you while making the exact same face as the gif above.

He thinks he's being stealthy peaking around a corner to watch your morning or night routine, but you quickly catch on. Please please pleeaaassee ask him if he has any questions because he does. He's just really curious why you're doing what you're doing and what it does. It's basically skin medicine and he's really fascinated.

Knowing that you like shiny things makes his life admittedly a little easier, it's not that he doesn't think of what to gift you, he puts A LOT of thought into what he gives you, but knowing that earrings, necklaces, and bracelets always make you happy is great just in case of analysis paralysis or he forgets. Sorry.

Also you wearing the jewelry he gets you does something to him, especially a necklace he can pull on a little, mmhhm you're making this man struggle with impure thoughts.

You both love cute things, it's something y'all connect on. It's really good that you help him access that very neglected inner child of his and encourage him to coo and fawn over adorable animals with zero reservation.

He'll do skincare with you too when he's not super busy. He can admit it's kind of nice to sit in bed with a book, glass of wine, and a face mask and just bask for a minute

He acts like he hates when you rub serums across his face and use a derma roller on him but he loves it

Law doesn't really pay attention to your clothes, but when you really go all out he breaks out in a sweat and he can't keep his eyes off you.

LUFFY

I'm not saying he thinks it's stupid, it just...why have an hours long care routine when you could be going on adventure with him??? 😭😭😭

He will help you pick out your makeup but don't expect it to look good. You're gonna end up with neon orange eyeshadow and green lipstick. Like literally every "My Boyfriend Does My Makeup" youtube video.

Plays around with your stuff but that's because he has no idea what all these strange contraptions are. The moment you try to explain his eyes glaze over and next thing you know he's whisking you away to go do something more fun.

He likes the shiny bright stuff (highlighter), makeup probably is the only part he even remotely engages in because it's

Explain how contour works to this man and watch him lose his fucking mind, he thinks you're a shape shifter now (honestly this applies to all of them except Law and maybe Sanji)

He never notices what you wear, Nami is gonna have smack him on the back of the head to get him to realize you put on something fancy

Luffy points out everything, it just so happens that things he points out sometime happen to be cute animals

Hides in all the stuffed animals and squishmallows in your room to surprise attack hug you

*throws mud at you* "Is this the kind of mud you like, Y/N??" He really means well though.

You know those hair masks with all natural ingredients like honey and banana? Yeah, he's gonna start sucking on your hair like spaghetti...I'm so sorry.

He'll bathe with you but that's because he wants to be close to you, it's definitely not about being pampered or relaxing.

Try to put a face mask on him or something else and it'll just become a game of tag around the Sunny. You can't catch him and he's having a great time outrunning and outwitting you.

He knows this is all important to you so even though he doesn't get it he'd never make fun of you for it and the moment someone calls you "extra," he's kicking their ass.

ACE

Maybe all the glam is a little silly to him but that just makes you extra cute!

He will also absolutely let you paint his nails. Hell, he'll let you do a full beat on him just for fun and he'll wear it for the whole day because he's so unserious lol

...As long as he gets to do your makeup after...Much like Luffy you're gonna be covered in neon colors that don't even remotely match, but you guys have a great time lol

Admittedly likes to be pampered by you when he gets back from a long mission.

Please take a bubble bath with this man, it's not like the water is ever going to get cold!

I'm pretty sure you'd legitimately lead to Ace taking better care of himself. Got this man out here talking about his cuticles and shit lol

Honestly, it's really good for him because self care leads to self love and Ace needs a lot of help with that.

He tells Pops about all the stuff you do 1.) because he loves you and 2.) he hopes some of it will help Whitebeard heal a little, god bless him 😢

All of your hardwork doesn't go unnoticed, he legitimately gets kind of misty eyed when you really dress up because he's so so so lucky. He swears he doesn't deserve you.

He always brings back some kind of gift even whether it's a cute plushie or something exotic to wear from all of his long travels

I need to stress how much this means to him, everyone of these things is like a little proposal because he already knows you're it. Every little gift is leading up to a ring from this man.

He's also just genuinely impressed by the skill it takes to do your makeup so well, especially after he tries doing it on you

Much like his little brother unfortunately, he does play with all the little contraptions in your vanity, especially in the beginning because have you seen an eyelash curler? He's so confused lol

SABO

Sabo and Ace truly are his brothers because he really don't get all the effort lol

Admittedly, a lot of that is because he thinks you're so hot already what's the point???

Once he gets this is just how you are he's less confused, he's probably the most normal out everyone. He lets you do your thing, although he's really curious how you managed to always look amazing while being in the fucking revolutionary army!!?? Where are you getting the time???

If someone were to intrude on y'all on a free afternoon you're both in fluffy robes with face masks on and Sabo loves to pretend to act like a bitch when he's in selfcare mode with you lol

"Are you seriously bothering us right now, ugh! I can't even right now!!" And then you both break out in laughter

He really thinks you should teach others how to contour and do makeup because it has great applications for disguises and infiltration.

And brags about your skills to everyone

Wonders how many of your makeup supplies could actively be used as a weapon *eye roll* jfc Sabo

There's a part of you that secretly worries all your boujieness will remind him of his blood relatives, but he assures you that it doesn't because you have a good heart and he never doubts that

Besides, being a little extra with him helps him associate those things he used to associate with his blood relatives with you instead so it's even better

He spoils you so bad, but with a Sabo-flair, ie. stealing from shitty people and bringing it back to you because you're oh so more deserving of nice things let's be honest

He gets jealous of the cute animals that you squeal over hehehe, please hug him when he starts pouting

He'll always wear a little pink just for you ❤️

[lillymakesart]

this is the first time i'm seeing this articulated so well for us in the BES fandom!! definitely required reading for everyone imho pls take a look

i have some thoughts too long for tags so im adding here but feel free to reblog directly from OP

i have nothing to add but an expression of longing for the akemizu girlies because to be honest it does seem a little unfair that it takes so much more reading between the lines for akemizu shippers than it does for taimizu shippers and this dissonance is where i think this subset of the fandom could be 1000% better if we're more aware of this

taimizu is literally spelled out for us by the writers. like we literally get animated screentime of taigen's fat cock saluting us after his tussle with mizu on top of some fluff scenes of him and mizu together laughing, smiling, having a good ol' time and we are all watered from that. BUT on the flipside, akemizu stans were completely snubbed of a positive development by the end of season 1. yes mizu comes back to save her, but they are ending on a sour note with akemi literally speaking the words "we are not friends" as she remains upset with mizu and the writers have given us no resolution for any of it.

all of that, plus OP's analysis of akemi and mizu's dynamic is honestly so hard to articulate and think through for most of the audience, it's almost as if akemizu fans have no choice but to flatten them into something that's more digestible because honestly?? we are all here to have a good time, we just want to turn our brains off and enjoy this content together, but not everyone might be willing/interested in reading 8 layers deep into two characters that they just wanna see together. totally understandable but unfortunately i think this is where a lot of akemizu content falls really flat.

taimizu simps are all united on the same source material, but akemizu girlies carry the burden of doing the rest of the legwork that the writers refused to give them this season, and thus we get a disparate collection of all sorts of fan interpretations of akemizu dynamics and relations, each likely valid in their own right but not all the way united like us taimizu simps have it. for example i've personally seen some AMAZING akemizu fanarts and oneshots on tumblr, but on a personal level there's always some parts that don't quite sit well with me as i revisit the source material and it just can't seem to hit me on the same wavelength in the manner that taimizu content hits me.

i think akemizu definitely has lots and lots of potential, and i have a sneaking suspicion that season 2 will probably be dedicated to cementing akemizu on screen like how taimizu was cemented in season 1. i think it might just be a matter of time before we get a renaissance-level romance reveal for akemizu like we did for taimizu so we just have to be a bit more patient

all that just to say this: i definitely have a lot of respect for akemizu shippers just because the writers are making you guys do so much more of the legwork to interpret their dynamic and get on the same page on the status of their relationship. i mean this could be either a good or bad thing or maybe you guys don't really care in general, but i really did earnestly try to get into the akemizu girlie gang but there was just too much dissonance in the fan content for me personally. if the writers did us dirty like this with taimizu trust me i'd be PISSED OFF but i'd probably be spewing more content for akemi and akemizu content too if the writers were feeding us like that.

(end rant but i literally had to delete an entire paragraph pissing about how taigen and the taimizu shippers have it out here BUT that's neither here nor there because this post is about our girl akemi, we all love her so i will respect her space here thank you for reading)

Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.

And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.

And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.

Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.

This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.

And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.

Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.

So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.

It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.

Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.

These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.

Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.

Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.

And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).

But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.

Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.

On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:

"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."

Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.

And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.

Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.

But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.

So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.

This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.

In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.

To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.

[bookofmirth]

I saw your recent response to an anon where you mentioned the drama that occurred the other day based around bookprofessor’s post. Obviously you don’t have to respond to this or publish it if you do not wish but I just wanted to bring up that while it is important to focus on the real life issues at hand, the OP was hypocritical in her post which is why people were getting upset. She was preaching against ableism while simultaneously flaunting her IQ and degree which is a form of ableism. She was speaking out against racism while ending her post using the racial slur “cracker” when talking about the possibly Caucasian Twitter elriels.

Obviously she had some important points but it was completely overshadowed by her participation in the hate speech and prejudice that she was speaking out against.

This does not in any way justify the nasty messages she received but on the same hand, I do not blame anyone that called her out for her hypocrisy. I hope you can understand why her post was so negatively received and how flawed it was. My hope is that one day everyone can just ignore the negativity, report those who are being racist/prejudiced in any way, and block those who are just being loud and who you don’t wish to see content from. But unfortunately I do not see that happening any time soon.

There are a few things I want to address in this because I think it's a good moment for the fandom to step back and reflect on how we treat one another, how we react to such issues, and how we behave moving forward.

First off, thanks for explaining your point of view without being antagonistic. I do think that everyone's emotional reactions to the post were valid. I do NOT think their responses, in terms of words and actions, were valid. Now before I move forward, I want to clarify that when I use the word "you", I am referring to anyone who may have had the response I am describing - not you personally, anon. Also please don’t freak out about how long this is, as a majority of it is a response to the fandom in general, not you in particular.

What was - and wasn’t - said in the original post

In this post, there were completely valid criticisms of the way that people in this fandom behave, and it wasn’t “generalizing” a certain group, it was literal, actual proof of things that had been said, by multiple people. I’m not going to get too into what Alyssa argued because her critiques of those tweets was flawless. The original post had very valid criticisms of what was happening on Twitter. Alyssa exposed the actually racist, homophobic, and imperialistic underpinnings of those tweets.

However, a lot of people are stuck on the bits before and after those critiques. @bookprofessor apologized for different aspects of her post in a few different asks. There were perhaps better ways that some of those things could have been phrased, some things that could have been left out. And she apologized. People can accept that apology or not but we can’t act like it didn’t happen. Like she didn’t reflect and learn to do better.

However, the people she was calling out have not done the same thing, and if anything, comments that focus more on Alyssa’s tone than why she wrote the post in the first place lets those people off the hook.

On cracker - Using the word "cracker" is not racist in the same way that using racial slurs against POC is. Is it prejudiced? Yes. But you cannot say that it is the same thing when that is demonstrably untrue, given centuries of oppressive history. No one has been oppressed for being white. Those are not the same. Reverse racism is not a thing because a white person punching down on POC is NOT AT ALL the same thing as a POC punching up at white people. The actions look the same, but the impact is so unequal it’s not even funny.

Racism is a systemic, institutionalized problem. It is not defined by individual actions, though those actions can either support or challenge racism. When someone calls a white person a cracker, there isn’t centuries of oppression giving power to and reinforcing that statement. That is not a “gotcha” moment.

Saying “I have x IQ” or “I have X degrees” is not ableist. I’m sorry to whoever told you it was ableist (again, not you specifically anon but people who had read the “aw shucks guys” vagueblogs about it), but it’s not. Those are facts. I have no idea what my IQ is, but I have five degrees from institutions of higher education. Me saying that is in no way ableist. 

Often, people mention those things to be elitist, yes. Sometimes, they can be used to say “hey I know more about this than you”. They can be used in a way that tries to make themselves feel superior. I suspect that this is the impression that a lot of people got of the post. However, there is a fine line between saying “hey that’s elitist” and professing anti intellectualism. Which is perhaps a side issue so I’ll let that go for now.

Another reason that people mention their degrees or qualifications is to establish their background knowledge and credibility. If I were to say “hey y’all I have two MA degrees” (which is true) I am not being ableist! It is a fact! It is factual! And I worked my ass off for those, I will be in student loan debt until I die for those, I have every right to mention them if I want to, and often I do so in order to establish my credibility, to explain the position I am coming from. And my prior knowledge of these topics is relevant when we are talking about literature since that’s what my degrees were on - literature and linguistics. That is why Alyssa mentioned her background, though she did pair it with comments about other people, for which she has apologized.

My final point about this is that I 1000% understand feeling insecure or less than because of educational attainment. I dropped out of high school. I had a complex about that for a long, long time. But I also know that if I took offense at someone else saying they had a PhD, then that offense is about me, not them. Someone else’s inferiority complex is not reason for people to pretend to be less than they are.

If those two comments are what overshadowed the bigger, more important issue for a lot of the readers of that post, then y’all allowed them to overshadow those more important issues. I am 99% sure that someone right now is reading this and thinking “but Leslie, it was the way that she said it!” Boy have I got some news for you!

How we react

This next section is not specific to this ask; instead, it is a discussion of how the fandom responded. If it were only one person who had said “but her tone” then I wouldn’t need to make this point. The fact that multiple people are exhibiting the behavior explained below is what makes this a cultural problem within the acotar fandom.

The main argument I saw on the post itself, and indeed any time I see people bring up how nasty Twitter can be, is that “it was a joke” and “that’s how stan Twitter works”.

No.

Those responses were quite useful for this post, though! So buckle up everyone, because I am going to talk about gaslighting, racism, respectability politics, and tone policing. While I understand that some people might have taken personal offense to what was said, there is a much bigger issue at stake that has nothing to do with individual feelings, and everything to do with ensuring that POC stay silenced and white supremacy is upheld. 

Back to the “but it’s a joke” thing. Thanks for gaslighting! Great example of that, person I’m not going to tag! Gaslighting is when you make someone question their experiences, when you try to make them think “wait, did I really feel that way? Is my feeling about that valid? Do I need to re-evaluate my response to this?? Am I blowing this out of proportion???” And saying “it’s just a joke” is a perfect way to do that. Did I say something accidentally sexist? It’s just a joke, nbd! Now you’re the problem, because you didn’t understand my joke and laugh!!! 

Saying “it’s a joke” or “oh they are old/young/ignorant, they will learn” is not a good response to... anything. It takes the responsibility off the people who are doing the harm, and putting it onto the people who were hurt. And in this case, anyone who read those tweets and found them harmful (which should be everyone?) is completely valid. You aren’t lesser for being angry or emotional or for seeing a problem where other people saw a joke. The people who see those things as acceptable jokes are the ones in the wrong.

This is a tactic that is used against women all the time. Any time a woman is sexually harassed at work or online, for example, and she gets upset about it, and someone chimes in with “oh they weren’t serious, can’t you take a joke?” So you can imagine what this is like for women of color.

It is a very, very common tactic for people of color to be silenced via tone policing and respectability politics. Tone policing and respectability politics are very closely related, especially in this context. The idea is that if Alyssa had just written that post in just the right way, it would have been more palatable to white people, and therefore okay to write. The idea that if she had tried to be “understanding” or “see it from their perspective” or understand that it’s “just a joke” are all ways to silence and de-legitimize any accurate, valid criticisms that were made of those tweets. It effectively re-routes the conversation away from the real issues, and to the person trying to bring them up. It’s essentially an ad hominem attack in disguise. 

We see respectability politics in media when people of color who act or dress or speak like white people are afforded more respect. Or any time that a person of color is pulled over and people say, “well if they had just done what the police officer asked...” There is a pervasive idea that if people just “act” properly, aka if you act white, then the police won’t feel antagonized and try to kill arrest you. If we are nice enough, meek enough, smile enough, etc. then we will be accepted.

When we tone police, we refuse to allow marginalized people the right to be angry. We say that "hey, we can only have this discussion if you leave emotion, which you rightfully feel, at the door, and we can only continue this discussion if you behave in a way that makes me feel comfortable." But guess what? It isn’t about you! These discussions are often highly uncomfortable. There is no nice way to tell someone they are being racist. And yet somehow, that is the ever-moving goalpost. It seems reasonable, right? “Just be civil, be nice, don’t insult each other!” And there is that. But those criteria change constantly, to the point where anyone (white) at any time can say “WHOA WHOA THIS IS MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE???” Then we find ourselves at zero, and suddenly the focus of attention has shifted away from the actual problem.

Before we go further, I want to say this: people have a right to be angry. They do not need to make their anger palatable or tasteful for the consumption of others (read: white people). 

We saw this last summer, and I’m not sure how the message didn’t get across. But people are rightfully angry about racism. They are angry about the murder of people of color by police, they are angry about lack of quality education, or clean water, of centuries of oppression that have led to this very moment when all of that ceases to matter because a white woman’s feelings got hurt one time. 

And that is what pisses me off so much. There is no way in this world that we could criticize tweets like those that everyone would agree with, and that everyone would “approve” of, that would be “nice” enough and yet still be impactful and make the authors of those tweets understand the gravity of what they have done. 

The least we can do is allow one another to express our anger, our outrage, because it’s highly likely that those people know exactly what the fuck they are doing, and they do not fucking care. By criticizing a woman of color for the way in which she chose to engage with this topic, we are avoiding the issue and letting the people in those tweets off the hook. 

There were many responses to that post that were positive, that agreed with Alyssa. There are a ton of people who disagree with those tweets, who find them disgusting, who understand exactly how and why they are problematic. That should be what we are talking about. Getting to the core of the argument, on that post or any about racism or other problematic behavior in fandom, requires getting past our own egos. It requires us to be able to step back, say “hm this thing is frustrating but there is a bigger picture here”. It’s not easy, and I recognize that. 

The fact that it is a common tactic though? To say “hey this hurt me personally and so I’m going to ignore any valid points you made?” That feeds directly into centuries of white supremacy because it, once again, silences POC and makes them try to play a losing game. And they will always lose, because no matter how hard they try to play the white game, the goalposts are constantly shifting. So you know what? Fuck the game, and fuck respectability politics, and fuck tone policing and “uwu be nice guys” because when it comes to things like racism and sexism, I don’t expect the people who deserve to be criticized to be nice. In fact, trying to be nice only serves to fuck POC over in the end.

Indeed, in response to that post, certain blogs have taken the opportunity to position themselves as “the nice ones” or “the ones who would never” or “uwu let’s be nice guys” while completely ignoring the fact that a woman of color was attacked for calling out racism. And yes - that was the point of her post. People getting hung up on mentions of her degree are (intentionally or not, it doesn’t matter) completely obfuscating the fact that that is not what her post was about, which was to call out disgusting behavior. idk how many words the post actually was, but essentially, people are focusing on 5% of it to the detriment of the 95% that was actually really important shit. These types of vagueblog posts about the issue fall into exactly what I am talking about - these are people who have decided to look at this issue, see how Alyssa (and anyone else who dares speak up) has approached it, and intentionally try to act like they are “better” because they can be “rational” and “kind”. Newsflash, if you don’t have something to be angry about, then being “nice” about racism isn’t that much of a flex. If it didn’t bother you, then congratulations. That doesn’t make you better than people it did bother. You just got lucky this time, and decided to use that to your advantage to look like the good guy.

I am not saying that all calls for peace are doing this. Obviously it’s what we all want. This is the worst I have seen this fandom in the 4+ years I’ve been here. But we cannot have that by ignoring the real problems and pretending that if we are all just nice to each other, then we will solve racism and sexism and all bullying in the fandom will stop. 

So combining all of this - the gaslighting, the tone policing, and what do you get? You get a fandom that refuses to actually engage critically with its own problems and take accountability for them. You get a fandom that decides that it’s easier to be distracted by this one mean comment over here than it is to engage in the fact that you know what, the culture in this fandom has actually turned incredibly disgusting and a lot of people are just okay with it. You’ve got a fandom that is using the tools of white supremacy to avoid the discussions that should actually be taking place. Maybe people don’t realize that that’s what they are doing. But if someone still thinks that after reading this post, then godspeed my friend, I hope you enjoy Twitter.

Okay so my last thing I want to say is that I didn’t come to all of this knowledge fresh from the womb. I do a lot of work, in my personal life and my professional life, to be better. So here is a list of books that I have found particularly helpful:

How to Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Stamped From the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America also by Ibram X. Kendi

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo (side note, I was kinda meh about this one but the chapter “White Women’s Tears” is particularly helpful)

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment by Patricia Hill Collins

I’m not going to talk specifically about Alyssa’s post anymore, but if anyone wants to continue talking about these broader issues going on in the fandom, I am game. (I really should be grading papers though, so it might take a bit.)

[z-1-wolfe]

Parhelion Headcanons (sir this is all for you) @greenbeany

Putting 'em under the cut because they got very long O.O

I- the gnome is Neon I take no criticism. They are often good-natured souls with a more mischievous side, and if that doesn’t describe Neon I’m not sure what does. Playful, funny, good intentions, that my good Bean is our lovable cat personified. Okay Parhelion dnd au with gnome Neon please /j.

I AM SMACKING THE GUN OUT OF YOUR HANDS [runs into a glass wall] dammit,, guess I gotta talk now

I- oh no,, time to fail the exam I guess (turns all your head canons upside down)

Okay they do sleep yes they do. Actually that’s a lie only Ciel sleeps, the other two are insomniacs. Ciel has all of her day to day life planned out to the minute, so she heads to bed at a certain time and wakes up at a certain time, the other two are more of a “we’ll sleep when we’re tired” kinda duo. Unfortunately due to Ilia’s night terrors and Neon’s ADHD they almost never rest. No they do not sleep in a SANE bed, ha why would they have a bed? They sleep in a hammock all tangled up with each other. It’s hard to tell what order they sleep in when they kinda curl into each other. They do not use a duvet, why have a duvet when Neon is a space heater? There are no pillows on the hammock X). OKAY THEIR ROOM, THIS I GOT, it’s a funky mess that is somehow organized thanks to Ciel. Ilia doesn’t own a lot in general but it was her life’s dream to paint her bedroom rainbow so guess what they have now. The other two are too soft and they supported her efforts and they love her despite her poor design sense XD.

I- why closet ASDFG I mean— No they do not share a closet they all have completely different fashion sense and if that was all in one place people would be genuinely terrified. But since they’re broke they had to make do with one walk in closet that they partitioned off into sections. YES THEY DO HAVE MATCHING OUTFITS THEY ARE SO CUTE LIKE THAT. They tend to be like those cute couple outfits with a few variations to match their own personal style. But their favorite matching outfit are these duck hoodies they own courtesy of once again Ilia living out her childhood dreams. No they don’t own many outfits because like I mentioned earlier they are broke x). Hmm thinking about each other’s styles… Ilia think both of her girlfriends have great taste, she loves the well, neon of Neon, and the prim and properness of Ciel. Neon just doesn’t care XD. And Ciel is just, she’s just standing there wishing she could help their fashion sense, but she holds back because “It does suit them in an odd way.” Ciel gets the most compliments on her style hands down, she looks organized and you can bet she saves money to buy outfits that actually accentuate her cuteness. They don’t wear makeup no time for that (in which you learn Z has little to no knowledge in how to apply makeup and doesn’t know how to answer that question)

OH OKAY I LOVE VIDDY GAMES. Ciel likes real-time strategy games because she’s insane and that’s literally all she knows in life thanks to being raised in an upper class family in Atlas. Neon likes open world games, something something she likes the chance for adventure and determining one’s fate for themself. Ilia has never once played a video game until after she defected from the White Fang but I can see her playing something light like Stardew Valley, low stakes kinda games. Hmm, they might play Animal Crossing together? Since it has aspects they all enjoy. They each have an individual switch (Ilia has a coral switch lite) and one shared PC. Okay game with most hours, maybe Minecraft? They still haven’t beat the enderdragon because Neon keeps getting distracted XD. Neon is the bomb at party games though, you can bet she has a perfect score on all the songs in Just Dance. Ciel is a sharpshooter, god knows who taught her how to shoot like that. The biggest splatoon fan is unfortunately not Neon it is Ilia, she loves all the colors in the game ^^. But she and Neon have wracked up quite a few hours in co-op.

Uhhh books!! Ilia likes fanfics :) it’s unfortunately one of the only ways for her to see positive representation of herself. Neon for some reason reads Epics?? Like her favorite is the Epic of Gilgamesh what is up with that?? Ciel reads webtoons :), she reads enough serious stuff for school work and such, she likes to just kick back and relax after all that. Yes they have schedules reading time courtesy of Ciel :). Uhh, they relax by baking together. None of them had many chances to indulge in sweets while growing up so they make full use of their time now. ?? SPOON?? Cuddle hours happen on a whim, the one thing that Ciel can never schedule because she never knows when it’ll occur. They relax the most in the kitchen x) because that’s where they bake, it’s not unusual to find Neon asleep on the counter while she waits for their sweets to rise. They read in the light, Neon is afraid that by reading in the dark that they’ll all ruin their eyesight. Ciel likes the sunrise because she’s up the earliest and is the only one to see it, the other two prefer sunset because that’s usually when their day is about to begin XD.

Favorite spot for dates! The park ^^, they like to go on picnic dates with all their baked goods. There is no plan, usually one of them will randomly pull the other two out of the house because they haven’t touched grass in a while XD. There are no ideas, they share one braincell and they spend too much time doting on each other to use it. Uhm favorite movie genre,,, they like comedy movies :). Their favorite place to eat is this tiny store on the corner of their street that makes mean gyros, they heccin’ love them. Coping with horror, Ilia is desensitized to horror because of the things she’s seen in life, Neon treats it like a game because she knows it’s not real, Ciel, is okay with it, but she gets shook more easily than the other two and they often have to reassure her. No they do not like theme parks, there are too many people around for Ilia and Ciel and Neon respects their boundaries so they tend to go to more quiet places. Uhm heights, Ciel is used to heights because she’s friends with Penny and woah can that girl toss her in the air like she’s a couple of grapes. Ilia doesn’t mind heights but she would prefer to have her feet on the ground. Neon loves the ground so damn much if it leaves her she will cry because man she can’t roller-skate in the air can she, what will she do if the ground is suddenly gone? They like evening dates because it’s normally the only time all three of them are awake enough for it XD. They end a night by sleeping I am not quite sure if there are other ways to end it lmao. They absolutely despise Neon’s roller skating dates but they love how excited she gets about them so they end up becoming as good as professional roller skaters because the smile on Neon’s face when they join her is dazzling.

I am slowly going insane. Yes each girl has a hobby I sure hope they do. Ilia knits, Ciel paints, and Neon writes. I would like to imagine that Ciel would try to schedule time for their hobbies she ends up giving up because all their sleep schedules are wack. Designated chef is Neon (probably made food for FNKI back in atlas), designated driver is Ilia (I mean I like to imagine she stole cars and stuff in the White Fang XD), designated decorator for stuff is normally Ciel though Neon does try to hijack a few of her plans occasionally, designated shopper is Ciel because the other two have no concept of Saving money, and they all work together to clean :). They don’t work together, they believe in keeping their work life and home life separate to prevent their feelings from getting in the way. They do not have pets, none of them have the energy or responsibility to do that, but Ilia did once bring a moose home one day for some reason.

I am nomming on your arm sir. Ilia and Neon get along with Penny surprisingly well, though I do think Ilia would get along with Weiss better? Ruby and Weiss look at Ciel and see a beacon arc Weiss and more or less adopt her despite Ciel being older than the two of them. They might like.. play board games together? Like some of those more team based board games I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, may the best polycule win. I cannot see them in a cuddle puddle to be honest ajcnjsanjs I am so sorry— hmm Ruby and Neon do not know the meaning of formal, as far as they are concerned these are their girlfriend’s friends and that means that by extension these are their friends. Weiss would like nothing to do with Neon after Neon insults Yang during the Vytal festival but she begrudgingly goes on outings with her and hey, now they’re make up buddies for some reason. The parhelion gals take the fs gals to the gyro place they like :). Parhelion gang Is a lot more vocal on their dates because their love language happens to be words of affirmation while the fs gang’s happen to be physical touch. Both polycules are very very affectionate though I will die on this hill.

DARN IT TUMBLR ONLY LETS ME HAVE 10 IMAGES PER POST THIS IS FINE IT WAS JUST ONE MORE PROMPT DARN IT

(Parhelion angst! How do Neon and Ciel react to the news about the dust mine? How do they find out about Ilia getting expelled? Do they find out about the white fang? Is there any faunus stigma afterwards? How does Ciel react to people bullying her Faunus GFS? Does Neon talk to Ciel much after? Do they ever reunite? Does Neon attempt to help Ciel while she grieves Penny? Where the fuck is Ciel now? Is Neon still alive? Does Ilia ever think about them? Does Blake know about them from Ilia?)

BUDDY I CAME TO THE LAST ASK AND NOW ONLY DID I REALIZE YOU MEANT PARHELION BACK WHEN THEY WHERE IN BEACON THIS WHOLE TIME I’M CRYING. (This ask is answered under the assumption that they are already dating back in Atlas Academy) Ciel is fiercely protective of her girlfriends, though people only know that Neon is a Faunus because Ilia masks her traits during her time at the academy. Neon and Ciel are horrified about the news about the dust mines. They know that Ilia is a Faunus and that her parents were working there so they rush to see her as soon as possible. But they’re too late,,, Ilia’s already been expelled for attacking her fellow students. They don’t hear from Ilia for a few years after that and the two slowly drift apart, each blaming the other for not getting to Ilia soon enough. They don’t find out about the White Fang until they reunite with Ilia unfortunately, but they feel sad that Ilia had felt that they only way for her to get revenge for her parents was by joining a militant group (I’m working under the assumption that Sienna only took control of the White Fang shortly before Ilia joined). When Neon learns that Penny didn’t make it after the Fall of Beacon she hesitantly reaches out to Ciel for the first time in a year, and she does try to help. But for Ciel it’s blow after heccin’ blow and she pushes Neon away in a rage. Ciel leaves the Academy after that and goes rogue, working as a huntsman without a license for the poorer parts of remnant. Ilia is unaware of all this drama during the Beacon arc. The next time she hears of any news is during the Fall of Atlas, and she’s scared, scared because she’s still recovering and she just heard Ruby announce to the world that Remnant is under attack, and oh my gosh her ex girlfriends live in Atlas. Neon makes it out alive, though not entirely in one piece, she now has a prosthetic leg. Ilia is the first person to see her, it’s a tearful reunion and they haven’t fully made up yet, but hey it’s a work in progress, now they just have to find out where Ciel is, but when they do they’ll BOTH be there to greet her. Blake has no idea who the fuck Ciel and Neon are lmao, Ilia never told her anything about her past romances when she was in the White Fang.

Oh gosh I think that's it-- And that is it thank you for listening to me ramble about Parhelion you get a juice box for making it this far. Sir I am sincerely sorry for turning your ship upside down please forgive me.

[seriouslyhooked]

The Bast Bad Idea (Part 2)

Three-part CS AU where Emma and Killian are doctors working at the same hospital (world without pandemic). They’ve yet to meet, but Emma has definitely seen the sexy Dr. Jones in her travels at Mist Haven Medical. It’s generally a bad idea to get involved with a colleague, but a little fantasizing never hurt… right? Inspired by the song ‘Bad Idea’ by Ariana Grande and a TV couple who set the bar for true love stories.

Part One Here. Story available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hello everyone! First and foremost, I want to start with a huge thank you to all of you who have reached out about this story. The response was so far beyond what I was expecting, but I am thrilled to know that all of you enjoy a CS Doctor AU as much as I do. As someone who grew up watching Grey’s Anatomy, it’s essentially engrained in my DNA to love a medical romance, and this story is one I have wanted to write for a long time. I’ve had more than a month away from writing thanks to my busy schedule, but finally my muse came to play and add a bit of fluff to this sweet short story. Chapter two picks up with a critical question – what was Dr. Jones going to propose to Dr. Swan…? Without further ado, here is our answer. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

“This might be presumptuous of me, love, but I find I’m helpless to resist. I was wondering – that is, I was hoping that perhaps, you and I, we could…”

His eyes strayed down to her lips, and Emma wet them absentmindedly. She heard a low growl, and realized it was coming from Killian. She shifted in her seat, turned on in a way she had never been before. Instinctively she moved closer, sensing the sinfully sweet current between them, like lightning just before it cracked across a summer sky. The instant attraction was breathtaking. It felt almost out of time and space.

“We could…” she continued, nudging him along and hoping he would elaborate. She wanted so badly for him to say aloud what she herself was wishing for.

Yet where Emma expected words, she was instead met with action, tantalizing and surprising, but inspiring something in her she never expected. Before she knew it, Emma was in Killian’s arms, aching for this moment, kissing him and knowing she was positively senseless. All that existed was this kiss, this touch. It was electrifying and invigorating, a blaze rushing through her blood stream that emboldened a part of her she’d always held back. Desire. That was what this was, and it was luscious and intoxicating.

Following his lead, Emma broke away from the kiss only to gasp for air as he crowded her body against the wall. The hardness of the cement blocks behind her, coupled with the heat and definition of Dr. Killian Jones was too much to handle. She arched into him, striving for contact, and reveling in the feel of his skin on hers. The only problem was these damn clothes between them. Never in her life had she been irritated at this doctor’s coat she’d worked so hard to earn. For years she studied and poured everything she was into medicine, all for the authority this coat portrayed, but she practically purred when Killian stripped hers off and tossed it to the ground. Pushing his off of his body in return made her mind race. The muscles of his chest and arms were driving her to distraction. Then they flexed, and she swallowed harshly, earning a deep, decadent chuckle from this man who drove her crazy.

“See something you like, Swan?”

God that cockiness. They’d never had any kind of real conversation before now, but the way he smiled spoke volumes. His air and his persona were dripping in assuredness. Emma used to think that she hated so much confidence, but when it came to Killian, she craved it something fierce. It was somewhat infuriating, the way his eyes shone with mischief and conceit, but it was also hotter than anything she’d ever known. Still, part of her would rather die than admit that aloud. She had her pride, no matter how wrapped up in this moment she may be.

“It’s hard to say,” she replied, her voice sounding out with a shredded silkiness that she’d never heard before. “I haven’t seen much of anything yet.”

“My apologies, love. Allow me to rectify the situation.”

Emma watched as this ridiculously attractive man purposefully teased her. With deft fingers he reached for the base of his scrub top, inching the material higher up his body. The trail of dark hair he revealed was evocative, but it held no candle the shape and tone of those abs underneath. Sweet Jesus, were those real? Emma bit back a groan at the sight, her lip pressed tight between her teeth. It took everything in her to keep her hands from reaching for him. She lay them flat on the wall behind her at her sides instead, but they balled into fists unconsciously as Killian eventually tossed the shirt away.

His black hair was mussed now, both from removing the scrubs with that always-present swagger, and from her fingers having run through it during their never-ending kisses. His eyes were dark navy blue, but still they shone with hunger and delight. His grin was a mix of charming and predatory, but instead of inciting a fight or flight response, Emma only wanted to surrender. This was a man who knew he was in complete control. He had hooked her, totally and beyond any shadow of doubt, and all she wanted was for him to have his way with her.

The curses he whispered while helping her shed her own scrubs were like prayers on high, a sweet song to her ears that only added to his allure. Killian’s eyes never strayed from her, but his reactions were so open and transparent. He hid nothing, allowing her a glimpse to the world inside, and it caused the power between them to shift. If Emma was being hunted, then she was also hunting in return, and Killian seemed ready to be caught.

“Emma, I -,”

His voice faded out, and she struggled to hear him. Instead, there was a blaring alarm. Was this a fire drill? Why had the light in the room gone hazy? Still, Emma heard herself whisper his name.

“Killian?”

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

The screech of the sharp, incessant chiming by her ears wrenched Emma’s eyes open, and immediately she groaned in disappointment. All of that – every exquisite moment – was a dream. Ugh, of course it was! Because this was her life now: fantasizing about a hot trauma surgeon ceaselessly and wishing that her memories of him were more than mere imagination.  

“Damn it,” she muttered aloud, covering her eyes with her hand in frustration. With her vision blocked, Emma was more aware of the feeling that her body was wrapped up in her sheets. She’d obviously been tossing and turning through the night, restless in ways she rarely was before seeing Doctor Jones. These freaking dreams just felt so real, and they’d only gotten worse since officially meeting him.

That was three days ago now, but things had been chaotic in the meantime. The level four trauma that came in when they’d been formally introduced totally swamped the ER. Emma was called down for consult on multiple patients, needing to give life and death assessments and treatment plans for half a dozen people. While down there, Emma had the chance to see David and Killian in action. She was struck, even in the grips of adrenaline, by their cohesion and capability. They were cool and collected, battling odds that were dire to say the least, but they prevailed. Emma had worked for years to hone her craft, to heighten her skills, and to meet the moments of medicine that her work provided. But the energy in the ER had shifted, and she felt her own abilities elevated by the camaraderie and collectiveness of everyone in the hospital.

That shared experience only lasted a short while, for after initial inspections and emergency consults, Emma was quickly rerouted to the surgical wing. For 16 hours straight she worked to save the lives of four people, and through something that felt like magic, or maybe divine intervention, she was successful each and every time. That good fortune held, not only for her, but for all of her colleagues as well. The hospital had managed something next to impossible – they had saved every victim of the horrible accident, but the work had been backbreaking. When she’d finally scrubbed out of her last procedure, Emma admitted defeat, heading home and sleeping for twelve straight hours.

Her next shift was markedly slower, and Emma had the chance to see the progress of her post-op patients, and to connect with the others in her unit. It was critically important that the doctors, nurses, admins, tech teams, and other staff were all feeling strong and secure. Patients needed everyone working as a collective whole, and Emma took it upon herself to monitor that. It was unusual for a Doctor, especially one who wasn’t overseeing daily operations, but it mattered to Emma. Saving lives took so much more than her medical degree and steady hands. She needed each and every person in the cardiac wing to be successful, and she valued every one of them for what they brought to the team.

Unfortunately, while Emma’s day was slower and steadier, there was also a favorite element now lacking. She wasn’t too proud to admit that she’d willingly joined Ruby on the daily trip to the coffee cart. Actually, she’d been the one to page Ruby this time, earning more than a bit of teasing from her best friend, but Killian and David never showed. Only later, when Emma was at the tail end of her workday and helping with a consult in the ER, did she learn why.

“He was here for sixty-eight straight hours,” David said bluntly, after having confirmed his diagnosis for a patient presenting with a blood circulation issue.

“I’m sorry?” Emma asked, confused for a moment at David’s turn of topic.

“Killian,” David said, prompting Emma’s face to heat. Here she was, hoping it wasn’t totally obvious that she was looking for a man she hardly knew beyond imaginings, but David had seen through her in a matter of moments.

“Oh, um – that’s, well that’s… crazy. Sixty-eight hours?” That beat even her record, and she’d been called a workaholic on more than one occasion.

“Mhmm. We were on the end of a twelve-hour shift when the call came in and he stayed, until every last patient in the trauma department was seen and attended to. I left for eight hours and was dead to the world the entire time. Still felt laggy when coming back. Meanwhile, he caught maybe four hours sleep total interspersed between rounds, crashing in on call rooms. You’d never know though. He was totally unfazed. Brilliant as ever. It was like being back in the field again.”

“Seriously?” Emma asked, amazed at that. She was no stranger to long shifts, but to work that hard for that long was a herculean feat. Somehow, though, she wasn’t surprised to hear Killian had pulled it off.

“Yup. I had to force him to go back to his hotel. Actually, Regina had to. I tried, but until the Chief said something, he wouldn’t budge. She had to spew all sorts of protocol and legal jargon at him to get him to go. Even then, I could tell he was debating whether to stay or not.”

“He has a real connection with his patients,” Emma commented, vocalizing a fact she’d ascertained by watching him in action. Killian cared deeply, and while his main job may be all about stemming the flow of crisis, and bouncing around from one case to the next just to keep people holding on, he kept track of all those he helped, and invested in each patient no matter what.

“Maybe. I think it had more to do with the fact that it was only eight am and you wouldn’t be at the coffee stand yet.”

Before Emma could respond, David was paged for something else. He’d left her with a polite goodbye, but also a knowing smile. Another time, Emma might have tried to fake that she wasn’t interested or deny that there was something between her and Killian, but instead she was too busy fixating on what she’d just heard. Emma carried David’s assessment around with her for the rest of the day, well after leaving the hospital and heading home. She spent the night wondering if what David said was true. Was Killian as interested in her as she was in him?

“This might be presumptuous of me, love, but I find I’m helpless to resist. I was wondering – that is, I was hoping that perhaps, you and I, we could…”

“We could what?” she whispered, getting out of her car, heading inside to her next shift. “What was he going to ask me?”

“Did you say something, Emma?”

Emma jumped at the unexpected question, senses on high alert as she stood before the elevator in the parking garage. When she found Mary Margaret only a few feet from her, and clearly the orator of the previous question, Emma relaxed slightly. She tried her best not to show her embarrassment, but it was difficult. Now she was talking to herself? Jeez, she was truly losing it at this point.

“Oh, uh, nothing. How are you today?” she asked her friend. Mary Margaret smiled widely. Her excitement was palpable, filling up the elevator car as the two of them stepped inside.

“I’m great! Just eager to get to work.”

“Any interesting cases on the schedule?”

“Oh, uh, sure, there’s a few, I guess. Well really most of my day is going to be in consult with the Chief’s office.”

“Wait a second, you have to spend a prolonged period of time with the Evil Queen and you are smiling? Who are you and what have you done with Mary Margaret?” Her friend now looked flustered, clearly trying to grasp at an explanation and then it dawned on Emma. “This is about David isn’t it?”

“David?” Mary Margaret asked, her pitch higher than it had been just moments ago. Emma laughed at her friend’s terrible play acting. Trying to pretend that this wasn’t about David Nolan was a lost cause. Eventually Mary Margaret realized that, and she sighed, releasing the tension in her shoulders as she exhaled. “Okay, yes, I am seeing Dr. Nolan today.”

“Let me guess, he’s also going to be at the admin meetings.”

“They’re about coordinating long term therapies better with our emergency protocols and treatments. So yes, the head of the ER is likely to make an appearance.”

“I see,” Emma said, biting back a smirk so as not to make Mary Margaret too uncomfortable. In the end though her curiosity won out, and she had to ask. “So, any movement there?”

“Movement?”

“Has he asked you out yet?”

“Not exactly.” Emma waited for her friend to explain herself. Mary Margaret held off for a few seconds before blurting out the truth. “I actually asked him.”

“Really?” Emma was shocked. Not because she thought any less of Mary Margaret. In fact, quite the opposite. She was proud of Mary Margaret for going for what she wanted. She just had never ever seen Mary Margaret step outside of a comfort zone like that, and certainly not with a hospital colleague. “Good for you. And he obviously said yes.”

“Why is it obvious?” Emma rolled her eyes, but in a teasing way.

“Come on, you know you two were making heart eyes at each other the other day. There was a definite spark. We all saw it.”

“I’m honestly surprised you noticed since you had your own, what did you just call them? ‘Heart eyes’? Well, you definitely had heart eyes for a certain trauma surgeon.”

Now it was Emma’s turn to blush, and what perfect timing, because the elevator doors had just opened to the lobby. They exited the quiet of the elevator to a hustle and bustle found only at a top tier hospital. It felt like a swarm of people, buzzing every which way, on their own individual paths.

“David and I going to dinner tomorrow,” Mary Margaret said quietly, looking around and finding no eavesdropping colleagues. When the coast was clear, she smiled, looking back at Emma with excitement all over her face. “That’s all I know though. I may have asked him out, but he made it very clear he had plans for how our first date was going to be.”

“I have a good feeling about this guy,” Emma said, referring to David. She had known Mary Margaret for a long time, and she knew how much her friend wished for a real and solid love in her life. Few people desired and deserved that kind of connection like Mary Margaret, and for Emma, there was a real satisfaction in seeing her friend’s instant connection with a stand-up man. Based on past experience, there weren’t too many of those to go around.

“Which one?” Mary Margaret asked. Emma stammered something non-committal out, causing her friend to laugh once more. “And that right there is all the answer I need. See you later, Emma. Oh, and when you see Killian again, just go for it. Believe me, it’s so much better than waiting and wondering.”

With that, Mary Margaret headed towards the wing of the hospital where the Chief and her admins worked. At the same time, Emma turned her attention to the cardiac unit.  She had a ways to go to get there, but while still in the main entrance of the hospital she was stopped short by a gruff, and somewhat uncertain voice.

“Excuse me, Doctor Swan?”

“Yes?” Emma replied, looking to the young man who approached her. Taking in his features, she realized she knew him peripherally. He was one of the new interns cycling through the hospital this year, but he hadn’t worked in the cardio wing or in a surgical capacity. Taking in his lanyard, which bore his ID card over plain clothes, she saw he was an ER intern. Interesting. “Can I help you?”

“This is for you.” The young man offered her a paper box. Emma accepted, thoroughly confused before the intern elaborated. “Curtesy of Doctor Jones.”

“Oh,” Emma said, suddenly incredibly interested. Unable to resist, she opened the box. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but what she found made her smile widely. “These are flowers. Paper flowers.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m not entirely sure of the significance, but Doctor Jones told me there is a note inside as well. He wanted me to be sure to mention that.”

Emma was more than excited to read what this astonishing man would write to her, but something the intern said reminded her of the awkwardness of this situation. Had Killian used his authority over the interns to have this delivered? It wasn’t a crazy assumption. Many of the residents and attendings here saw interns as the low rungs on the ladder. They were meant to be learning and training, but often they were sent on coffee runs and foolish errands. Emma never believed in that though. She found it unkind and unnecessary.

“To be honest, it was hard to convince Doctor Jones to let me bring these,” the intern said, perplexing Emma further while eerily reading her mind. “I had to offer about a half dozen times. My shift was ending, you see, and I’ve been looking for a way to thank Doctor Jones since he got here. You know he created extra hours in the ER skills lab? He’s working with first years too. We get very little access usually, because the third years are prepping for exams and stuff, but he convinced Doctor Nolan to extend the hours. He’s even hosting classes himself. Cool right?”

“Very cool,” Emma said with a nod, and another smile. She breathed out a sigh of relief, genuinely happy to realize this man she’d been thinking of was good to others. It also made accepting this thoughtful gift so much easier.

From there, Caleb said goodbye, heading out for whatever interns did with down time these days. Oh, who was she kidding? Sleeping. That’s what she’d done, and no doubt that was what all interns still wanted most of all. Emma though, felt more awake now than she had in a long while. She found a quiet corner in one of the corridors leading to the cardio unit and took a seat, opening the box away from prying eyes.

Inside the box there were six different types of what looked like origami flowers. They were beautiful and delicate, and she wondered where he could have bought them. Only when she opened the note did she realize the truth.

Emma,

As you know, I’ve been away for quite a while, out in the field in a completely different world. In the desert there’s not really that much to do, except survive and keep as many of your people as well as you can. The downtime is long and hot and quiet. I picked up these tricks from a fellow soldier. It kept my hands at the ready and my mind clear, and there’s an honest beauty in them that reminds me of you. 

Truth be told, there’s a flower for each time I’ve tried to catch you at the coffee cart since our meeting. Clearly my missions have been unsuccessful, so this calls for a change in tactics…

Emma smiled at the thoughtfulness and felt the pull of butterflies low in her chest.  He thought she was beautiful, and he said it without fear. Had a man ever said so much? Had it ever mattered? Certainly not like it did now. Reading on, Emma laughed at the lightheartedness of the note and the bit of cheeky humor that accompanied it. His easygoing candor and transparency enchanted her, drawing her in even more than she already was. Then she memorized the time and place he suggested that they meet at the bottom of the page, knowing nothing and no one was going to keep her from this meeting.

Only after reading through his handwritten thoughts three or four times did she realize an added layer of perfection: these flowers weren’t just handmade and crafted with intention. They were also safe for her to take with her to her ward of the hospital. Being in and out of the ICU and cardiac units, Emma couldn’t bring real flowers into her offices without putting some patients at risk, but she could have these. From within the box she selected a bright yellow blossom, beautiful and intricate and folded to perfection. Wordlessly she tucked it away in her pocket. The others were deposited for safe keeping in her office as soon as she arrived back in the East Wing, and displayed on her windowsill, brightening the space.

The hours between the start of her shift and the time she was meant to meet Killian passed by slowly. Her rounds usually distracted her, but not today. While she still gave all due attention to her patients, Emma had that sense in the back of her mind that this afternoon would bring so much more to the forefront. The promise of seeing him again kept her heart pattering faster than it should be, and by the time the clock was minutes from their meeting, she was positively bursting with anticipation.

“Okay, usually I would give you a hard time and pretend to tag along, but even I can’t mess with a smile like that.” Ruby’s words snapped Emma’s focus back to the hallway where she was standing, pretending to read a chart. As she looked to her friend, however, she would never be able to recall what was on the screen in front of her. Ruby grinned when their eyes met. “He gave you the flowers, didn’t he?”

“You knew?” Emma asked and Ruby nodded.

“Yup. Ran into him at the cart a couple of times. He was really starting to piss off the kiosk guy with all his loitering. Had to give him a hundred dollars just to shut him up.”

“He didn’t!”

“No, I wouldn’t let him. I told Boris to shut it unless he wanted a hospital wide nurses strike. Guy knows better than to cross me. He just acts tough for clout.” Emma laughed, knowing her friend truly ran this place in most ways. But then the apprehension of the moment caught up to her again, and Emma’s brow furrowed in worry. “Oh no you don’t. No doubting this, Ems. I’ve vetted this guy. Run all the background, checked all the sources. He’s a good one, a one in a million, needle in a haystack, diamond in the rough kind of man. And, to top it all off, he’s crazy about you.”

“You think?” Emma asked and Ruby nodded.

“I know, but that’s all I’m saying. Let Killian speak for himself, okay? And, even though it’s hard, try and trust this.”

“I think I already do,” Emma whispered. “Trust him, I mean. But that’s crazy, right?”

“Love tends to be that way.”

“Ruby.”

“Emma,” her friend parroted, taking her hand and squeezing gently. “Just go for it. Go for it and see for yourself.”

With a nod, and the validation that she needed to hear from a trusted friend, Emma headed off. It felt natural and expected to make her way towards the center of the hospital once more. This time though, she passed the coffee cart, with only a fleeting glance. Killian wasn’t meeting her there today. In fact, she wasn’t entirely sure where they were meeting. She followed the directions he’d given her, up a few more flights of stairs and through the wing with pediatric patients and newborns. She had been here many times before, for consults and comfort. It was a draw here in the hospital – the cuteness of babies just starting their journeys in the new world. Emma looked at them today, noticing the vibrancy inside the nursery, but didn’t linger. Instead, she followed the last of the route that Killian had given her and ended up somewhere she’d never been before. A place that must have just finished being renovated.

“Wow,” Emma whispered, walking into the sunlight on the open terrace.

With the glass surroundings and the plant life everywhere, this place was beautiful. There were pergolas and hanging vines, topiaries and flowering plants, daffodils and tulips, all breathing in the spring. It felt like a park, floating in the air, with the sounds of the city barely audible below. Emma could imagine the kids and the families who would come here someday. She hoped it would be a space for them to find some peace and happiness while staying in this unfamiliar and often stressful place. Hospitals were rarely any fun for patients, necessary as they may be, but this space was beautiful enough to distract from that.

“You made it, love.” The deep rumble of that familiar voice sent a shiver through Emma’s whole body. She cast a glance over her shoulder, finding Killian, leaning against the stone façade of the building behind them. In his hands were two coffees, and as he moved towards her, he offered her one with a boyish smile. “This is for you. Didn’t want you missing a routine caffeine fix for my sake.”

“Thank you,” Emma said automatically, feeling his fingers brush across hers, sending a zing of awareness through her. Her eyes flashed up to his, and she knew he felt it too. Suddenly she had no want or need for this coffee. She cleared her throat slightly before continuing on. “Where exactly are we? And how, might I ask, does the new guy know about it before I do?”

“It’s the Hubbard Family Wellness Gardens, gifted by one of the hospital’s most loyal benefactors” he said, full of knowledge. Emma was shocked that he actually knew what this place would be but then he smiled, gesturing to the plaque bearing that information. She bit back a laugh. “And as for how I found it, that’s easy. I never leave well enough alone, and I’m curious by nature. I’ve been nearly everywhere in the hospital now, but this place seemed the best for what comes next.”

“What comes next?” Emma asked, her voice hitching up as she repeated the words.

“Aye,” Killian murmured, his tone dipping sensually low. She swallowed harshly as he entered into her space, and he tracked the motion. She felt the heat of his closeness, and caught his scent in the air, clean, and male, and with a hint of spice.

“I’m afraid I didn’t think this through,” he said, close enough to kiss her. God, how she wished he would kiss her. Emma vocalized her first thought.

“Really? I did. Like a lot.”

His smirk told her she’d said that aloud even though she never meant to, but before she could react, he took hold of her cup once more.

“I meant these,” he gestured to the coffee in her hand. Oh, right. “May I, love?”

Emma nodded, and shakily let go of the cup she forgot she was holding. With deft hands, Killian  placed their drinks back on a table beside them with far more poise than she could muster at the moment. When that was done, he stepped towards her again, looking at her with a glint in his blue eyes that made her heart skip. His hands came to her body, one to her hip, the other to cup her cheek. The rightness washed over her, and so did the realization that none of her dreams could actually prepare her for real intimacy with Killian Jones.

“Last time we spoke I intended to ask you something. Do you remember?”

“Yes, I remember,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from wanting this so badly. Without thinking, she wet her lips, and he caught the action, letting out a groan that mixed pain with passion and pleasure. Then he cursed, a totally British ‘bloody hell’ falling past his lips before dipping his mouth to hers and giving them both a taste of temptation.

The kiss was… beyond incredible, but Emma was so deep in it she had no ability to comprehend anything at all. She was consumed with the moment, arching against Killian, feeling the silky strands of his dark hair and the scruff of his beard. His kiss was assured and passionate, dominant and indulgent all at once. She succumbed to the sensations, and let the rightness surge within her, not caring at all that they were outside or at work or that they’d just met. Instinct took over, and her gut, which Emma had always trusted, was telling her that this man was even more than she imagined, and someone she should choose to let in.

Pulling back from the kiss, Emma and Killian stayed close, and Emma took stock of all the places they were touching. His hold on her was firm but caring, like she was precious, and he wouldn’t let her slip away. In his eyes she saw so much emotion, and again she was struck by his transparency and trust. He wasn’t shying away from her or the moment. He was in the depths of desire with her, and their kiss, that perfect, sexy as all hell kiss, had left him tongue tied. The quiet wasn’t awkward, but assuring, and Emma felt secure here, safe even, while also being filled with more unknown wonder than she’d ever been before. Like someone at the start of a glorious adventure, she took a next step born of passion and hope.

“I’m off at six tonight… so, you want to pick me up at seven thirty?” she asked, referencing a date he hadn’t actually asked her out on. She feigned ignorance even though she could read him like a book. “Unless you were going to ask me something else…”

His hold on her tightened, and he shook his head immediately. She was right. He wanted a date – and she saw no reason to wait when she wanted one just as badly. She grinned at him, loving how the tables had turned. This time he swallowed harshly, and she was oh so tempted to kiss him again and see if he’d stay shy or rise to her challenge.

“It’s a date, Swan,” he said dazedly. 

Emma hummed out her agreement, going in for one last fleeting kiss. But where she meant to only tease, he took the reins again, kissing her senseless and leaving her breathless when they finally broke apart. Only when her pager beeped with an incoming call did they end their inevitable interlude, and as they did, Emma felt a pang of longing, wishing this moment could last so much longer than this.

“Tonight, love,” he whispered, running his thumb against her lips. “Far away as it may seem, I promise the wait will be worth it.”

“Good,” she replied, nipping his thumb ever so softly, and bringing the fire back in his eyes, before taking a step back. And with that, and just enough presence of mind to grab her coffee, Emma headed off, back through the hospital to the work that awaited her, knowing she could and would get through anything today for the promise of tonight.

Post-Note: Ah!! Finally!! I got the words on the page!! I did the thing!! I wrote the story!! And honestly, it’s such a relief. It felt, at some points, like I may never get this chapter written, but finally today it came. I know many of you were waiting, and I cherished every comment and review and message along the way. I hope all of you who wrote me, and those who read along with chapter one, all enjoy this installation. I write these stories for me and to brighten my world ever so slightly, but also in the hopes that they’ll spark joy for others too. In a time like this, a little joy goes an awful long way. Anyway, thank you all for reading, sending you the best, and hope you’ll join me next time for the final chapter of this CS AU! xE

[wrongwiredmind]

Got busy browsing some tags in Ao3, you know? The usual, anyway, neglected selecting a fandom, liked a summary that didn't have any "names" so I opened the fanfic while still ignorant to whatever show or movie or book or anime or literally anything that has fanfiction, long story short,

I got sucked into the Teen Wolf fandom!!!!

A little late, right?

However, I didn't just get stuck in a fandom i didn't want to enter, I also found myself embarking on a ship that is bound to sink as all other non-canon but perfect OTP do, can you guess whom am I talking about??

That's right!! Sterek!!!

So, after reading and reading and adopting a new pair of poor unfortunate souls, I thought that I owe it to them to see the show and see them in action, it also didn't help that I really needed to know some canonical facts to read some of the fics, of course that never stopped me before (I knew future events in every fandom I became part of before I reached that stage in the show, i.e. I know about the pool floating incident and the FBI rescue and many of characters and a lot of other things before I even started the show, and I'm still in s1e8, all of that is thanks to Ao3 and Tumblr, aren't they wonderful??)

And I already don't like Scott! I don't like the character that really makes bad choices and always expect to be forgiven or not handle the responsibility, if you want to be the hero of your story you need to understand that you should trust your friends and family of choice, and  they could trust you too!!

As Harvey Specter said "loyalty is a two-way street. If I'm asking for it from you, then you're getting it from me" and that doesn't end with the fact that they might be sure you won't kill them, if they can even trust that!! That is just common decency!! Caring about your crush/girlfriend is good, but never is neglecting your friends!!

And yes, I adopted Mieczyslaw “Stiles” Stilinski!

And I can't help but feel that Scott is really really verbally abusive, I mean, skip whatever non-Canon thing or obliviousness I read, what he says to Stiles and Derek on different occasions is absolutely wrong, not to mention blaming all those deaths on a supposedly dead man!

All Derek ever said or did was that he wanted to help Scott, and even if, as the audience, we didn't know that, he saw and heard and feels his emotions, so I think he definitely isn't right to accuse the guy for every problem you find! And Stiles does nothing but try and help and McCall just pushes and hurts and pushes again, I'm pulling my hair out, man! If those what friends are like, who needs enemies!!???!?!!! (after I wrote this, I actually remembered that it's actually a saying, not an invention of my brain, though I definitely agree with the OP)

And I'm not even talking about how he talks with his his mom, I'm not familiar with how teenage boys act much, because my older brother was certainly different than the stereotype, but that is never how you talk to your mother! (I'm almost 22, so I don't think I'm too old to not understand or to forget how teenagers act around their parents)

Anyway, that's not here nor there, it's not the point of this post at least, watching the series was really... Interesting, but they really make a lot of long make-out scenes between Allison and Scott, and I swear Allison deserves better!!! (again with you Mccall!!!).

Though that unfortunately means that after almost every episode I had to take a break and read some fanfic to calm down since things  weren't moving fast enough. (I need more Stiles screen time!!)

Nevertheless, even though every otp I ever had is beautiful and awesome, since I'm currently so engrossed in this fandom, I wanted to say that this pairing has something special, and I'm not even sure what, call it "my spider-senses are tingling" or whatever, and while perusing through Tumblr for recommendations, someone was mentioning some fics for Steter (I didn't even see Peter in action yet, but don't you think he's more than a little old for my baby?) and then found some Sterek recommendations, all that was running through my head was "this is soothing my soul"

And I think that this is enough for me, if I wasn't sure before that I loved the pairing, this thought proved to me that they already stole a piece of my heart and added another strand to my soul.

I always feel pain when a strong emotion resonates inside me, especially while reading, but reading fanfics about them is almost a constant pulse of pain that won't leave till either the fic ended or I closed the app, I almost wear a constant wince while reading because of it instead of the occasional one.

And that's the beginning of my descend along this ship, greetings to all the other passengers, and you have my condolences because of that cannon canon that always takes the most beautiful and solid ships down.

[moondrop04]

RWBY VOLUME 8 EPISODE 12 SPECULATION!!!

ALRIGHT BOYS AND GIRLS!!! It’s Another Week........And Another Speculation Post For RWBY Volume 8!!!! 😆😆😆 We Got Only 3 More Episodes To Go Until The End Of The Volume And Tensions Are Rising!! I Was A Bit On A Roll From Last Weeks Post, So Let’s See How I Do For This Week 😏! So let’s see what I’ll get RIGHT and what I’ll inevitably get WRONG!!!

-(Unlikely Alliances) Ok so last episode gave us a bit of a cliffhanger when we last saw Qrow and Robyn, when they prepared to fight whoever it was in the opening elevator. Much like most of you I also agree that it is Winter and Marrow that is inside the elevator.

Now with these 4 together I would like to speculate that they will team up and face Ironwood and the three remaining Ace-Ops in a 4 vs 4 fight, but instead I would like to choose another route. As much as I have stated in the past few weeks that I think Qrow must fight Ironwood, Robyn’s words of concern about fighting the general has given me thoughts on what they should actually do to undermine Ironwood.

With Winter and Marrow possibly defecting and teaming up with the “bird duo”, I would like to speculate that these 4 will go after the source of Ironwoods power and control.....the Atlas Military. Much like how Ironwood has been spreading his control and might of the military through live video feeds, Winter will do the same and broadcast a live feed of herself, Robyn, Marrow and Qrow to plead out to all of the military to go against Ironwoods orders of destroying mantle.

There will be some obvious backlash from the military with Qrow on the screen as he is charged with the murder of Clover, but Robyn would wash any doubts of Qrows innocence by using her semblance on him and show everyone that he actually didn’t kill Clover.

-(An Unconsidered Risk) As we last saw Ruby and the gang they were formulating a plan on how to get Penny to the vault. I definitely know I’m gonna get this speculation wrong, but here’s my attempt on what may actually happen.

Ironwood and the Ace-Ops will be awaiting at the entrance of the academy for Penny to arrive alone. From the distance Penny is seen walking towards the academy, with an escort of Yang, Blake and Ren, much to the surprise of the Ace-Ops who assumed Yang and Ren were dead. Not taking any chances, the general orders the group to stop and asks where the others are. Blake will say that they are down in mantle tending to the refugees, while Yang states that both Jaune and Oscar unfortunately died in the explosion earlier. The two groups throw some jabs at each other about their current circumstances until Ironwood orders that Penny moves forward to him, and that the rest not move another inch until they are safely inside the academy. Yang, Blake and Ren comply with the orders and let Penny walk towards the general, and in that moment Ren’s semblance kicks as he see’s Ironwoods emotions.

As the general is greeted by the lone maiden, he acknowledges Penny’s commitment to protecting Mantle and apologizes that things had come to be this way. With no emotion Penny remarks back to the general that she must “open the vault” and becomes silent. Startled by her lack of emotion, the general comes to the conclusion that Watt’s virus is still in effect. Without hesitating the general allows Penny to walk into the academy as he follows behind her. Before doing so he orders the Ace-Ops to tail after Yang, Blake and Ren down to Mantle, as he believes that they may still be up to something. The three follows their orders and pursues after the kids, as the general escorts Penny down to the vault. Unbeknownst to him however is that the “Penny” that is with him is actually Oscar in disguise, thanks to Emerald who is secretly walking along beside them.

As Oscar and Emerald walk with Ironwood inside the academy, Ruby, Weiss, Penny, Jaune And Nora will fly underneath to Atlas’s base and enter through the entrance to the vault created by Oscar after he was shot by the general. The hope is that if they can take the staff out of the vault and bring it down to Mantle, they can threaten the safety of the staff by ensuring that if mantle is destroyed, then the staff will possibly be destroyed along with it.

-(A Tin Man’s Paranoia) Knowing they have a small window of time to take the staff out of the vault, Oscar will ask Emerald to create illusions to play into Ironwood’s paranoia, so that they can help stall for more time. This will work for at least a few minutes until the strain overcomes Emerald and she releases her semblance. Finally free from her tricks, the general will reach for his gun and shoot Emerald, who is luckily saved by Oscar pushing her away. Knowing he has been tricked the general alerts his forces to set the bomb up to detonation, as he rushes toward the vault alone.

-(The Staff Of Creation) With a little bit of trouble from keeping the virus taking over Penny, Ruby’s group guides Penny to the vault and lets her open it. Much like when the Spring vault was open to reveal a different plane of existence, the winter vault reveals a large cavern covered in large crystals from wall to wall, and at the center was the staff of creation. Ruby and Penny walk inside and both grab the staff and walks right back out. Unfortunately they are welcomed by Ironwood, who is pointing his black gun towards our heroes.

Weiss, Jaune and Nora ready themselves to fight the general but Ironwood threatens that if they do anything Mantle is destroyed. The general and kids bicker between one another of the generals handling of their current circumstances until Ironwood gets fed up and asks them one more time to hand over the staff, as he orders his army to begin preparing to drop the bomb onto mantle. Unfortunately for the general the response he hears back is instead Winter giving out her speech to the Atlas Miltary to turn against Ironwood orders and cease all actions against mantle.

Down in mantle as Winter’s speech is being broadcasted, the Ace-Ops come face to face with Yang’s group as they begin to prepare for battle. As Harriet ignores Winter’s broadcast and begins to charge towards the kids, Elm and Vine stops and pins her down to ground as they too choose to go against the generals orders. The rest of the Atlas military soon follow along to Winters speech and cease all their orders given by the general.

-(Last Stand) Frustrated that he is close to defeat, Ironwood makes one final stand and rushes toward Ruby and Penny to grab the staff. Weiss, Jaune and Nora blocks his path and manages to land a few blows to the general, but is quickly overwhelmed by the experienced huntsmen as he takes them out one by one. With no one in his way he rushes toward Penny and the staff but is blocked off by Ruby, fighting to protect her friend. She manages to hold him off to the point that he becomes weakened, but he unfortunately gets the upperhand and pins her down. As he prepares to shoot Ruby he is quickly blasted by Penny’s lasers and is pushed back with his aura completely broken. The virus begins to take effect on Penny again as Ruby, with her aura broken as well, rushes to penny’s aid. Near his boiling point Ironwood points his gun toward an unaware Ruby and shoots, but the bullet is blocked by Qrow and his Harbinger.

-(Letting Go Of Grief) Delighted to see her uncle, Ruby thanks Qrow for saving them. Qrow smiles back at her and then focuses on the man right in front of him. Ironwood scoffs at the appearance of the lone huntsmen and begins to shoot multiple bullets toward him. Qrow walks slowly towards the general as he blocks each bullet with his sword. The general eventually runs out of bullets as he comes face to face with Qrow. Beaten and exhausted the general throws one last left punch but it’s blocked by Qrow, catching Ironwoods fist in his hand. The two glare at each other for one small moment until Qrow releases Ironwoods hand and embraces the general with a hug. The general is startled by this sudden gesture from his adversary and is followed by Qrow telling James that “this is enough”. Overcoming with emotions Ironwood silently weeps, as he admits defeat and collapse to his knees, with Qrow still holding on to him.

-(One Curtain Falls, Another Rises) Winter descends down into the vault and lays her eyes upon the sight of her former leader on the ground with Qrow, and her sister with her friends. After a quick hug with her sister, Winter informs everyone that she’ll order the military to aid in the complete evacuation of Atlas and Mantle. With mostly everyone delighted by the news Winter makes a quick call to the team handling the bomb and orders them to cancel its detonation sequence. Unfortunately she is responded back by Cinder on the other side of call. The episode ends with Cinder claiming that she has taken possession of the bomb down in mantle and threatenes that she will use it unless Ruby Rose delivers the staff to her.....alone.

Pheeeeeeeeew this was a long one to write but I’m glad I was able to finish it 😅. Well as always I can’t wait to see what happens in tomorrow’s episode and hope to see you guys on the other side 😆.

Till then....see you in the AfterMath......BUH-BYE!!!

[zhaozi]

when someone wants to blame me and people i occasionally speak to for them hypothetically attempting something if they were in a depressed episode then maybe it’s time for the truth to be put out in the open. i’m sincerely glad you’re not in a depressed episode, but maybe you should think about whether other people are. blaming them for something you might have done given a hypothetical what if isn’t fair to anyone.

axelle (@piningbisexuals) decided that she was going to post all about how me some other people in the thai drama community were attempting to run her off the platform by bullying her but she’s strong and she’ll pull through. what she neglected to mention is that the people who were ‘bullying and harrassing her’ were lgbt voices who wanted explainations for what could be considered microagressions or homophobic behaviour. 

i can’t speak for everyone but i took my concerns to her directly through direct messages because there was no need to get anyone else involved. (important fact before we continue: i am autistic, it take 3 seconds to find out this information on my about me page). as a result of my autism i understand i can often come across as blunt but unfortunately i don’t have the luxury of turning my disability off. i tried to be as polite as possible when contacting axelle any time i had queries and she responded in ways that confused me. 

i appreciate that english isn’t her first language so i shared screenshots of a messgae with @yihwas to ask for her opinion on whether the phrase ‘you did good’ was patronising in the context of the message. upon finding out this information, axelle took it upon herself to twist the events and state them in a way that made her seem more like a victim than she actually is. however, i am of the opinion i did not do anything wrong, and if i did i sincerely apologise. if anyone says my messages were rude, it was unintentional but i know because of the autism that i can come across as blunt. 

the first set of messages we exchanged were in response to her tags about off’s hand being over first’s crotch in a photo op. i thought it was a bit weird to make a beeline and focus in on the crotch so sent an ask about it. i’m posting a transcript instead of screenshots as it’s effort to add them in on mobilt but i have no issues posting them if needed. below is the transcript:

minghao-ah:  hi there, i was just reading through your blog and some of your tags rubbed me up the wrong way and I was just wondering if you could clarify on them a little bit. On this post (https://piningbisexuals.tumblr.com/post/636938447688499200/piningbisexuals-offguntay-being-extremely-subtle), you focus a lot on First's hand and whether or not he's touching someone's crotch and that seems a bit of a weird thing to focus on. Was it intentional? Hope that it's okay to ask for clarification! 😊😊 piningbisexuals:  hi, well I found it funny that in this picture https://www.instagram.com/p/CIZ8wBugW5w/ first's hand seems to be on off's crotch bc of the moment the pic was taken. it's not that deep, the hand placement made me cringe & bc I like to share everything on my tumblr I brought it up. I'm happy to clarify, especially as you seem polite & nice, but I also must admit I'm a little lost as to why that's an issue at all? I'm a little lost lol minghao-ah: it just seemed an odd thing to focus on is all. ive seen a lot of similar photos and my thoughts never stray to oh that person's hand is close to touching this person's crotch. i guess im a little used to fetishisation coming from a kpop fandom background and was just a little worried that you might be forcing sexualisation onto a completely innocent moment, especially with the last tag. as it was all completely innocent, I'm sorry I wasted your time! maybe ive just been on tumblr for too long and worry that everyone is a bit weird. it's easier to just ask rather than mistaking someone for a weird person. thanks for clarifying! 😊 piningbisexuals:  no I wouldn't be sexualizing off & first lol, I wouldn't do that to anyone but it's not like I ship them together so yeah I just found the timing of the pic funny. yes you did good asking me, I'd never want anyone to misinterpret my words. no problem!

the second exchange was in relation to an ask she received about itsay and a comment she made that it would not have been as successful if it was not marketed as a bl drama. below is the exchange:

minghao-ah: hi there. me again. just asking for more clarification because im sure i must be misunderstanding something. I'll skate over the intro because you haven't cited sources for your believe that the majority of bl watchers are lgbtq+ and i don't have the time currently to go looking for some so let's just stick a pin it that. in a response to an ask about itsay you say all mlm representation is still representation regardless of the quality. do you not think this is a harmful statement? bad representation is harmful. for example if your only representation of a gay man came from tharntype, you'd think that gay men were going to assault you in your sleep and accost you in the showers. if your only representation of gay men was the 'im not really gay, i just love you' trope then if you were a gay man you might find it wrong that you find more than one man attractive. is that not harmful for a large audience to be ingesting these stereotypes? the bl label isn't what made itsay big. the household name actors and the big production company behind the project is what helped made itsay big. plus if you're saying that labelling it as a gay series meant it wouldn't be as big doesn't that infer that boys love is good but gay isn't? should we infantalise gay men and their relationships for the sake of a label. surely if it was true representation then it would be under the title of a gay series? please correct me if im misunderstanding anything. id hate to think people were reading a message that you didn't intend to put out. piningbisexuals:  okay dude, so like I'm happy to answer, but also... I kinda feel like you're purposely trying to misinterpret my words? idk maybe you don't mean it that way but also I'd love to be able to express my opinion without my intention being misinterpreted. when I said mlm representation is still representation I was talking about mediocre mlm representation, aka shows that are not very produced & written but are still bl. I was not talking about shows with sexual assault & other harmful tropes. itsay being about two guys falling in love thus being bl is absolutely part of what made it big, especially with inter fans. as someone who watches both bl & non bl thai dramas it's very clear that what most of the inter fans watch is bl & only bl. you can have a different opinion, but it doesn't mean I'm wrong. we can have different opinions & it's okay minghao-ah:  i promise im not trying to misinterpret your words. i take things on face value which is why id prefer to ask for clarification rather than call you out publically or anything. im grateful you take the time to reply and that don't misunderstand the intention behind my messages. im aware we can have differing opinions and most of the time accepting those differences is healthy. it inspires debate and education, which im sure you'll agree is important. thanks again for letting me know your thoughts. in future would you prefer me not to message you? i understand that it might be difficult to have someone interpret your words the wrong way and it might cause offence to be asked to explain your reasoning. piningbisexuals:  honestly I appreciate you being nice & polite and I have no ill-will towards you at all, but also I just hope that in the future you can know my character a little more & know that I've said many times that I despise real life shipping, fanservice, shows with sexual assault & harmful stereotypes, so what you might misinterpret as something I'm saying is literally the direct opposite of all my values. so yeah it can be a little upsetting to have your intentions questioned. I can't tell you not to message me about it but I'll just ask you to really read my words & try to understand where I'm coming from before messaging me for explanation. english isn't my first language so yeah sometimes my wording can be a little awkward or what not, but I still think my intent is pretty clear

following this exchange, she blocked me so there was no way to discuss if i was misunderstanding something. throughout the exchanges i tried my best to be polite and open but i felt the response i got was standoffish with the aim to shut down conversation. as i said, i’m not good at detecting tone due to my disability to i asked sophia for help sometimes. 

in addition to this she has repeatedly deleted asks that i have sent her about her sexualisation of actors including the use of the title ‘daddy’. (as someone in her replies inferred, no i wouldn’t prefer it if she infantilised actors. there is a huge spectrum between daddy and baby.) in an ask she did answer she said it was because off was 30 thus old, his nickname is papi and it’s a meme and not sexual. if calling him daddy is because he’s old, then surely grandpa would be more appropriate. if his nickname is papi then stick with papi, you don’t need to translate it? finally, it’s not a meme, don’t kid yourself. i hope the following screenshots provide an understanding of what i was talking about when i said ‘sexualisation’ 

but off isn’t the only actor she’s done it too, so what’s the excuse there? she did it with drake who would’ve been 17 at the time of slam dance but okay he’s a ‘thicc daddy’. is it because of his age or does he also have a nickname i don’t know about? and what about ryan hawley? her tags speak for themselves about whether it’s a meme or sexual. 

i kept this private because there was no reason to make it public. if she would have apologised for the misunderstanding or just stated her case it would’ve been done. she was repeatedly dismissive and sometimes downright rude. she has had evidence bought to her in private of things that could be considered transphobic for example tagging a gifset of joss wayar in drag as ‘if this set flops youre transphobes’ and she deleted the tag but didn’t apologise for it. 

after speaking to sophia and shannon (@1akorn) all anyone wanted was an apology. all you had to say was ‘i’m sorry, i will listen to lgbt voices and experiences’. instead you chose to actively shut down lgbt voices, disrespect someone’s disability and cause upset when you didn’t need to. i understand i might have done some things wrong, i am willing to learn from this and continue educating myself. i can only apologise for things i’ve done wrong if those things are bought to my attention. 

there was never an attempt to push you off the platform. there was an attempt to open a line of discussion which you closed. that’s not my fault and i won’t be made to take the blame for it.

[rantheon]

the bakarina anime is done! it’s just a drop in the ocean that is the otome isekai genre so these are some recs + what you need to know about them. i just listed most of my favs otherwise it’d be too long :p

in no particular order. includes some non-isekai ones too. needless to say most of these aren’t completed yet

my next life as a villainess: all routes lead to doom

using this to plug that there’s more bakarina content in the form of light novels, manga and 3 spin-offs

an observation record of my fiancee - a self-proclaimed villainess

told in the pov of prince cecil, whose fiancee bertia straight up tells him she’s a villainess of an otome game from her past life

if you ever wonder what jeord from bakarina might be thinking half the time, this is probably close. cecil is the same kind of prince who initially finds things bored and predictable until they met the mc

the things cecil would get up to for bertia? hoo boy

also the way the mangaka draws hair is addicting to look at

the villainess cecilia silvie doesn’t want to die so she decided to crossdress

the title speaks for itself~ after remembering an otome game she played in her past life, cecil (previously cecilia) is now the one capturing the hearts of the academy ladies instead

it’s fairly new so there’s not much of it yet :c but it’s pretty interesting

the original otome game had a whole rpg combat system going on and i’m hyped to see how it’s gonna lead the story

the Angelique vibes are strong in this one

the villainess wants to marry a commoner

isabella used to play an otome game in a past life, but she was really only interested in a side character named ursch. and then one day she finds him in her mansion garden

her past life self is such a mood - i too have 100% otome games in hopes of side characters getting hidden routes but alas

definitely deserves the ‘video game’ tag. isabella can see status screens and character stats/skills etc, and all the gacha rewards and grinding transferred over after her reincarnation. she’s the isekai female protag we’ve always wanted

seriously the main ship is too op for their own good aha

deathbound duke’s daughter

in a past life, erika only managed to finish 2.5/7 scenarios of an otome game thanks to an unlucky encounter with knife-kun. with the different flags of her impending doom approaching, she takes things into her own hands years before the game events start

very fantasy-oriented (the most on this list) and pretty action-packed, once you get past the game exposition in the first 3? chapters

the world building is brilliant, from the hafan mages to the aurelian alchemists, and there’s beasts and wands and spells and dnd stuff sprinkled in

the cast has quite interesting dynamics and interwoven plotlines, and they’re all dorky in their way :>

beware of the villainess

melissa remembers a novel from her past life and desperately tries to cut off contact with the male leads, but they still make her life hell & she rages

she’s just so done with everyone and you can’t help but relate to her

definitely the funniest on this list XD melissa and her reactions takes the cake but even the shit characters are hilarious in their own way

there’s also a lot of parodies to memes etc & best of all, there’s cussing. all the shits and fucks. a whole lot of it

it’s great

death is the only ending for the villainess

penelope wakes up as the villainess from a game she’d been playing in her past life, only right now it's on the hardest difficulty where death is literally everywhere. thus she tries, well, not dying

what’s cool about this is that penelope has access to the original game system. she can see menus, choice options etc. the male leads even have affection percentages floating above their heads :> which is always cool to see (and what i’m a sucker for)

but it’s definitely one of the darker ones on this list. iirc there’s depictions of violence, abuse, drugs and then some. just a fair warning

the daughter of albert house wishes for ruin

upon realizing that she’s the villainess from a past-life otome game, mary decides to stay as one. chaos ensues

i love this manga so much, everyone is so quirky and there’s something to laugh about on almost every page. the story almost feels self-aware of itself and just lets the characters do whatever. like ride bikes

addie is so cute ;o;

it’s definitely something everyone should experience

i’m a villainess daughter so i’m going to keep the last boss

one of the finished ones!

post-annulment, aileen pulls a Lisa Tepes and asks the demon king claude to marry her. he refuses. hijinks ensues

mostly on the fantasy side, as it builds on the world of the monsters

the cast is pretty fun! aileen’s smart, funny and pretty competent in her own right. plus she and claude are positively adorable together

milady just wants to relax

post-annulment, ronia decides to open a cafe in the countryside. it later becomes the frequent hangout of a beastmen mercenary group, who are intensely feared by the townsfolk

well... beastmen. that’s all you need to know /wink

okay, that aside, it’s just as chill as the title suggests. ronia slowly makes friends she can trust, and the beastmen find a second home in the only cafe that’s willing to accept them. it’s pretty wholesome

the banished villainess! living the leisurely life of a nun making revolutionary food

despite actively trying to change her ‘villainess from a past-life otome game’ fate since childhood, elizabeth gets annulled, her noble title stripped, and is sent to a church in a neighboring kingdom. she enjoys it more than expected, despite the appearance of the ever watchful leonid

there’s plenty of 21st-century food like sandwiches, cotton candy leonid’s muscles <3

the entire cast is lovable, and can chris get an f for all the heart attacks leonid keep giving him

seduce the villain’s father

yereninovica (or just yerenica) realizes that she’s in the world of a novel she read in her past life, but as the aunt of said novel’s mc. after thwarting a kidnapping that’s basically the mc’s origin story, she takes it upon herself to also prevent the tragic death of emperor belgoat

a bit different since it switches the roles around (side character x side character) and goes into the “parent generation” of the original work

there’s also an interesting bit where the world seems to recognize her as a hijacker, and where that takes her, we’ll see in due time :o:

plus the way yeni habitually calls him ‘father’ cracks me up every time

transferred to another world but i’m the savior of an otome game

after a ritual gone wrong, “yamada tarou” (fake name) is stuck in the world of an otome game. the only way back is with a magical ring, normally obtained after becoming the lover of one of the male leads. he of course says no i’m going adventuring but the game doesn’t like that

it’s absolutely hilarious - the leads treat our mc like a heroine, and there’s a lot of otome tropes that are called out on/parodied. like the seiyuus’ names oh my god

tarou’s reactions are great and his appraisal skill is the funniest thing alive

endo and kobayashi’s live commentary on the villainess

in modern japan, endo and kobayashi start their playthrough of an otome game, which becomes a bit glitchy and odd. they discover that siegward, a male lead in the game, can hear what they’re saying. they use this chance to finally give lisolette a happier ending

much of the story’s focus is on the characters slowly warming up to lisolette, and a bit on endo/kobayashi’s irl relationship. despite being the primary drive of the story, lisolette herself hardly moves the plot - if you know what i mean

regardless it’s undeniably adorable

tearmoon empire

no isekai, more of time travel? chronoskimming?

mia wakes up 10 years in the past after being sentenced to death. now afraid of guillotine-kun, she strives to solve the issues in her kingdom that had previously led to her doom

a bit similar to bakarina in terms of concept: avoid death flags, unknowingly recruits the people she meets into her little saintess cult. the misinterpretation is very strong, and in brilliantly funny ways

it has really fun narration ngl especially in the light novel

of course, i’ll claim palimony!

to prepare for her annulment, yulia starts scheming recording her fiance’s meetups with the heroine to use as evidence. if you’re gonna lose a suitor, might as well get some money out of it, right? along the way she gets involved with rudonik, one of the male leads

no reincarnation. rather than an otome game, the villainess story comes from a book written by a side character, and the “heroine” just decided to play it out in real life

the cast together is a riot, and it’s entertaining to watch yulia only think in profits and every connection she can make to achieve it

the villainess’ slow prison life began with her broken engagement

no isekai, just a plain old villainess

post-annulment, rachel is sentenced to imprisonment. which she enjoys and is thoroughly, hilariously prepared for

everyone’s a little afraid of rachel and for good reason. it’s better to find out yourself through the LN or manga, but let’s just say that even the king doesn’t want to deal with her XD

the holy grail of eris

now this one is interesting, putting the villainess trope into a mystery ghost story. that said, no isekai either

our innocent heroine constance attends a party and encounters scarlet, an executed villainess from ten years ago. a body possession and some public embarrassment later, they decide to team up to solve the mystery that might be behind scarlet’s death

i mean, ghost villainess? sign me up

+ some honorable mentions

i favor the villainess (the heroine goes for the villainess- girls? girls? yes)

a bellicose lady got reincarnated (a delinquent reincarnates as a heroine; what a concept :o unfortunately there’s not a lot of english content for it yet)

it seems i got reincarnated into a yandere otome game (i like that the mc actively makes it so that game can’t ever happen the way it should; plus, yanderes are always interesting to study)

inso’s law (modern isekai, and quite cute!)

the reincarnated young lady aims to be an adventurer / holy guardian tiger (similar to deathbound duke’s daughter in that there’s more of a focus on the fantasy aspect)

expecting to fall into ruin, i aim to become a blacksmith (so far the only one with a shounen tag that i like; its main charm is probably the cast and their interactions with each other eliza best girl)

since i’ve reincarnated as the villainess’ father i’ll shower my wife and daughter with love (big big wholesome vibes)

level 99 villainous daughter (severely op lady who takes no shit from the people looking down at her, and regularly thinks about blowing up the academy within the first 4 chapters? hell yeah)

may i please just ask one last thing? (post-annulment, the mc literally punches everyone in the room; it’s great)

this is getting long now oops

edit: i also made a visual-friendly personally-tagged-by-me bookshelf here!

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Prologue: Onset of Injury (Sy)

Characters: Captain Syverson, various OMCs

Summary: Sy’s POV, the night and the mission that ended his military career and set him unknowingly on a path to true love.

Catch up on all chapters right here!

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings:  Language, violence, attempted military talk, feels…

Author’s Note: Okay friends, most of what I know about military ops I learned from watching movies…so, this may not all be accurate. But I think most of the terms and jargon are in line, even if this mission wouldn’t necessarily go down like this.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags: 

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

@radkesgirl83

@wheretheriversrunintothesea

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Captain Logan “Sy” Syverson had done a hundred briefings like this one. They were going into a compound with some low level goons, mid-level players, and one big boss. Two teams. Two entrances. One exit. The roof. Air extraction. Minimal undesirable casualties. Five or six mid to high level prisoners.

“Alright ladies, here’s the plan. The compound is central city. Alpha team, we’ll get dropped off by transpo two blocks south of the front entrance, Bravo team, same for you, two blocks north of the back entrance. Bravo, you head east and down once inside, Alpha will go west and up. Standard flanking formation. Stay frosty in there. These guys aren’t cub scouts. They will shoot on sight. Do your best not to be seen. Once the lower levels are cleared, we work our way to the top where we should find the big Kahuna. Do your best not to kill anyone in a suit. Tac gear only, unless it’s your life or theirs. These guys have intel the brass wants. Supposedly.”

Heads were nodding. Lopez raised his hand. The other guys laughed, but Sy appreciated the respect.

“Ricky?” He pointed at him to accept the question.

“Sir, what about evac?” He stood tall and sharp. He was new to the team, but Sy liked him already.

“That’s a great question, and thank you for raising your hand. Take notes on teacher’s pet here, class.” Everyone including Lopez laughed.

“There’s a stairwell to the roof in the master bedroom. That’s the LZ for our helo. They should be less than five mikes out, so we shouldn’t have time to order pizzas or anything after we clear the compound. So once the call is made, you won’t have long to get up the stairs. The helo can’t stay grounded for too long without drawing attention. We will need to keep an eye out for unfriendlies off compound being warned about our presence, and for survivors. Listen, I can’t stress this enough. I know it’s not easy to kill. And I don’t encourage it if it’s not necessary.  But these are bad people and they would kill you, the man next to ya, your sister, your parents, or your dog if they could.”

Aika, Sy’s German Shepherd whimpered in the corner but was ignored.

“Kill them for your brothers. For your neighbors. For the children you don’t even have yet. Because what do we do?”

“We embrace the darkness and the suffering.” His teammates that had been there for a while repeated the first part of the sin-eater credo.

“And why do we do it?”

“So that our fellow man is free to live in peace.” they finished the mantra as they had so many times before.

“Fuckin’ A. We roll in one hour.”

~~~~~~~~~

The drop and the entry had gone off without a hitch. Sy's Alpha team were like shadows, the very finger of death for the unjust and evil in the compound. Everyone they encountered was quietly subdued, whether by strategically placed blades, silenced firearms, or in some cases, the literal snapping of necks. Bravo team was just as successful. But Alpha team wasn't finding many prisoners.

The real problem came, though, when they reached the top floor where the big kahuna was supposed to be. Everything had gone dark, even though it had been lit up like Christmas, the Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all in one when they were making their approach to the compound. Someone had squawked. Raised a silent alarm. Something.

"This…this doesn't smell right, captain." Harztler voiced what was running silently through Sy's mind. "This level was like Times Square when we got here. Now nothing? It stinks."

"I can smell it, Jake. I don't like it." he activated his comms. "Bravo team, we are sitting ducks up here, what is your twenty? Over."

"Sir, we are wrapping up down here, and getting the targets ready for evac. We should be on route in less than ten mikes. Over."

"Push it to five if ya can, private. We don't like the look of this bedroom. Over."

"Is this the moment to be questioning someone's taste in interior design, captain? Over."

"Shitcan that disrespect, private, or you'll be digging latrines alone next time we have survival drills. Over."

"Understood, sir. Will try to push to five mikes. Over."

"That'd be best. Over and out." He signed off with Lopez, amused at the inferior officer’s joke, even though he couldn’t show it openly.

Hartzler has just started to suggest possible reasons for their unease when the sound of rapid automatic firepower rang out from one of the floors below them.

“Fuck.” Both men said in unison followed immediately by frantic shouts from Sy’s radio.

“*crackle crackle* we are taking heavy fire! Kominski is down! Lopez is hit! Alpha team! Captain, do you copy? Over!"

"I'm on my way, Fuller. Hang tight. Over and out." Sy said and looked at the men on his team, "Hartzler, you and Goldberg signal the Helo for evac ASAP and get to the roof. Schmidt, Freeman, you two come with me to back up Bravo team. We meet at the LZ in five. That's not a big window, gentlemen, we'll radio if we hit any snags. Clear?"

"Clear." a round of nods and affirmations came from the rest of the team. Sy turned for the exit to the room, checking his clip, and putting one in the chamber. Stakes were higher than ever.

The last three steps to the ground floor were half blocked by a slumped corpse. Kominski. Sy fought the emotion building in him as he remembered David showing him photos of his two young daughters, Charlotte, who was seven, and Renee who had just turned five. And his gorgeous wife Sasha. His high school sweetheart. He was distracted enough  by thought of the soon to be grieving girls, that he missed the pool of blood, Kominski's blood, on the black tile steps. His knee twisted unnaturally. And he could almost feel the protest of his muscles and tendons.

"Fuck! Mind your footing on these last few, boys." he winced, limping on toward the firefight. He signaled the men behind him to stay against the wall and follow him quietly until he gave the signal to attack. There were three men in tactical gear firing from behind a bar in the corner, pinning what was left of Bravo team in their position behind an overturned dining table. It was just Fuller and Lopez now. Sy took the opportunity during a slow point in the enemy's fire to enter, managing to shoot all three immediately, single handedly ending things.

"Alpha team, secure the area. Fuller, Lopez, what is your status?" Sy asked the men.

"Lopez is hit pretty bad in the leg. We've got a tourniquet in place. I am…uninjured. But our prisoners have been…neutralized by friendly fire." Well, fuck. That was the mission blown.

"Ammo?" Sy asked, frustrated.

"Depleted, sir." they hadn't planned for this.

"Fuller, you and Schmidt get Kominski up the stairs, pronto. We ain't leavin' him in this hell hole. Freeman, you watch their backs. Keep 'em covered in case there are any more of these assholes lurkin' around the place. Lopez, I'm gonna help you up them stairs. Can you get up?"

"I'll try, sir."

"Okay, roll out." Sy went to help Lopez to his feet. The boy wasn't hardly 160 pounds soakin' wet.

It was slow going, with Kominski and Lopez in tow, but they made it back to the bedroom just as the sound of the helicopter began to grow, and the roof began to quiver from the wind kicked up by the blades.

Sy made Schmidt and Fuller go first, as they had the biggest burden. Then Freeman, in case they needed another hand getting Kominski's body into the hold. His knee burned after the four flights he'd already done supporting Lopez, but the private had lost so much blood. He thought he'd have to carry him up this last flight to the roof. The boy was pale as a…sheet. He didn't let himself think of an apparition.

When he felt safe enough, and ready, he told Lopez the plan and hoisted him over his shoulder on his uninjured side. His knee protested angrily, but he proceeded, ignoring the pain, forcing it down with those emotions about the Kominski family.

Relief washed over him as he made the last step and his boot crunched against the loose pea gravel of the roof top. They were almost out of the woods.

Until a massive explosion in the HVAC unit knocked him off balance and took him down to his knees, Lopez's added weight a contributing force in what he was certain was now a broken leg bone given a very clear and distinct pop he'd heard even over the noise of the fire and wind. He had heard it from the inside. He thought  it would be the tibia, but his knowledge of anatomy wasn't anything to write home about. He dropped the boy with an agonized howl. The heat from the blast bit at his back as he tried to find the strength to stand. But he couldn't. His team was charging toward him and the private. And for once, he was overjoyed to receive help. Fuller and Freeman got Lopez under each arm and dragged him the few yards to the open hold. Schmidt helped Sy up as best he could, but the Captain was in excruciating pain.

"Captain, we gotta go. These assholes are gonna blow up their own property to get us. Come on. It's not far. You can make it." Schmidt let his CO lean on him all the way to the helo.

Sy noticed tied up in one of the bucket seats of the hold, a man in maroon silk pajamas and brown leather loafers without socks. An Iraqi, early sixties, hair and beard still dark black. Their primary target. Mostafa Kassab.

"Where'd he come from?" Sy shouted at Hartzler.

"He was hunkered down in that corner over there when we came up to signal the chopper." the sergeant lit up with pride. "Fuller told me their prisoners didn't make it. I'm glad we found Kassab up here, or the mission would have been a total waste.

As they took off, Sy looked from the covered body of Kominski to the prone form of Lopez, who was paler than ever and glassy-eyed. It was hard in that moment to think that even ten of Mostafa Kassab could be worth one of these men he was lucky enough to call friends.

As he examined his knee, beginning to swell and looking a much different shape than he ever remembered, he thought about what this could mean for him, as a captain, as a soldier…as a man. If he could even call himself a man if he had to take away the title of captain and soldier. This was his calling. He wasn’t sure how he’d go on if…but, he’d wait to think about that when he got back to base and the medic’s tent. After all, what was the worst that could happen? It wasn’t like he was hurt bad enough to earn a discharge letter…was he?

Up Next: Chapter One: Evaluation

[rpbetter]

Thanks for your thoughts. Nope, I don't have another problem with the psa. It's the subtle word choice pretty much, but nothing else. I don't mind if people use me as a meme farm, so when I see psas like that or comments like that, I get upset because I associate it with people who make other blanket assumptions about all rpers, I have it linked in my head with people going around saying "rp is a hobby not a jobby" and making other assumptions about how all rpers do their thing.

Thank you for answering those questions!

The assumptive quality of the RPC can seriously be annoying as hell, especially if you're in the minority on any particular issue. When that's the case, the PSAs are so rarely geared toward you and any issues you might be experiencing that it's legitimately upsetting. I absolutely feel you on that!

I mean, obviously. Obviously lol I do. It couldn't be much clearer that I have a serious issue with the constant bombardment of PSAs insisting that we normalize shitty behaviors that are the damn norm, that we're all just losers RPing on tumblr so no one should be anxious about anything ever (instead of, you know, maybe trying to legitimately boost people's confidence, radical thought), or that anything that isn't being hostile to oneself is being hostile to everyone else.

I think the issue is that, while there is obviously a majority set of takes/issues/experiences (though, those, too, absolutely can skew toward one's particular RP corner and style), there's no way to address every instance and variable of an issue. Particularly not when anything other one paragraph is too lengthy for a lot of people here to engage with in a meaningful way.

So, I know I have to frequently ask, "is this a legitimate or hostile sort of blank-statement, or is it just addressing the majority experience? If it's the latter, is it genuinely enough of a problem to address?"

Like, did they mean that this is an experience most RPers have, or did they mean this is the only experience/is the correct and only way to do things? And that's not always answerable, of course, but when I feel like it is, it's usually found on OP's blog and RPC itself.

If OP has expressed things that are not the majority experience, expressed that they do not agree with blanket-statements, and doesn't imply with every rule, PSA, point on the DNI, and so on that to approach and proceed with RP in a way they do not is to commit some manner of terrible IRL crime? It's almost certainly that they were just expressing a majority experience and nothing more.

And in this case, yeah, as I'm sure you've noticed from being on the opposite side of this, it is the majority experience. I don't recall ever seeing very many RPers who do not espouse having an issue with having their memes and aesthetics reblogged without some manner of (rules specified if they're not a dick) interaction/relationship with the other mun. (Such as "mutuals are okay to reblog" or "I expect reblog karma and practice it.")

I don't know if there has been an influx of newer RPers or those who have migrated from more relaxed areas of the RPC, but recently, there really has been an increase in at least my corners of muns being used as resource blogs when they do not wish to be. They've all expressed in their rules their particular boundaries for that, have made overall posts politely but firmly asking that people who do not write with them and haven't even read their rules not do this, and have gone directly to the worst offenders to ask them to stop. And it continues to happen. So, I imagine that is why you might be seeing an influx of PSAs about the matter in response.

For anyone watching this conversation that might not understand why some muns are so against this, some reasons are:

clogging up their notifications

the aesthetic was their picture, edit, quote, etc. and not meant to be shared off their blog/only by the partner(s) tagged in it

when you reblog from someone, their URL is obviously attached, spreading them to another dash full of people - they might like you, but not want some of your mutuals following to their blog

their muse doesn't get much interaction, but other muns keep reblogging memes/aesthetics from them when they won't write with them or send anything in

they feel used for the above reason or any variety of other reasons

I'm really sure you know that, Anon, but I think it's important that we all understand where we're coming from because there are so many different preferences and experiences. It's really not good enough to just feel like everyone can do whatever they want, so long as it isn't harassing anyone else/they're being respectful of others. Because can feel that way all we want to while still getting upset when we lack the understanding of preferences that are extremely different, or even in opposition to our own.

We can't effectively respect each other without that sort of understanding of even the things that annoy us, you know? So, I try to promote that understanding and explain things for people who might simply see this on their dash.

Like the "hobby not jobby" thing! I don't get that, I think it has some concerning IRL connotations people are not recognizing, and it's a great way to treat other muns like shit while justifying the behavior. It's in opposition to what I do not because it exists, but rather, because it is weaponized in order to excuse bad behavior and vilify muns who do not engage with the hobby in this way. It doesn't have to exist in hostile opposition to how I enjoy RP, the use of it has made it this way, is what I'm saying.

But I understand where it came from and what it means for the more rational, adult muns here who feel this way. To them, it's just that this is an ultra casual hobby. The way I engage with RP is like a full contact sport lol it requires a lot of effort and engagement, and the effort and engagement is fun. They way they engage with RP is an act of disengaging, it is more like what watching TV is for me - they're just here for some light, quick entertainment.

Understanding this difference is understanding that not everyone who feels so casually about RP is a jackass insisting that everyone else better feel the same way, that their way is the only correct and good way. I'm still not interested in writing with them, it's far too different for that to work out, but it allows for delineating who is enjoyable on my dash/OOC that is into casual RP and who needs to stay behind a block somewhere because they think anyone who has RP as a primary hobby is trying to ruin it for them somehow, attacking them by existing, and the following list of terrible things as a person.

I think that all problems in the RPC could be drastically mitigated by a combination of understanding and mutual respect. People who are alright with others treating them like a meme resource absolutely can and should interact with people who don't feel that way without a problem, for example - all that takes is being aware of your mutual's rules and respecting them.

Damn near 100% of the PSAs out there honestly should not ever have to exist, they come down to the same factors of just exercising some easy respect for each other.

Again, the trouble often comes in at those very differing factors we need to be mindful of. When we feel like the weird one out in the RPC constantly, whether something is actually othering us or not, it starts to feel like it is. We start finding reasons and evidence, and much of the time, at least among those whose first inclination isn't to label OP as various terrible shit as a person, that takes the form of "not everyone."

Well, of course, not everyone! But unfortunately, when we are of the minority opinion/experience, we sometimes have to just realize that very thing. It isn't personal, and that while someone has caused issues coming from this side with that difference, we are not for our mutuals, so this isn't about us. We're actually doing the thing the PSA is speaking of by not pushing our preferences on others. If that PSA is just speaking from a place of the majority experience and nothing more, we're just annoyed with it for that reason and nothing else when it comes right down to it. We're just kind of sick of being in the minority opinion on this issue, and now are geared to feel like we're being hounded by most PSAs.

It's not an easy thing to get over or work with, it's not even something that gets to be faultless, but it definitely makes the experience less irritating when we can get to a point of stepping back and analyzing the situation without those emotions intensely in play. Seriously, if I allowed the issues I have with most PSAs out there to be evident by reblogging them with refutations or anger? That's all I'd spend my time doing, that'd be my hobby and not actual RP...and I'd absolutely be the most hated and blocked mun on tumblr in short order no matter how valid my points were. (And, I think, with good reason, I really do not support reblogging that sort of thing with negative commentary.)

What helps? Make your own positive PSA about your experience! Make one of those "reblog if" posts, I have never seen one that says "reblog if...you are alright with your mutuals reblogging memes and aesthetics from you without reblog karma."

I'm being dead serious, I encourage you to do that! It's great when you're of the minority opinion and do something like that because you can literally see not only that you're not alone at all but also that it's made other people feel seen. If you do that, let me know, I'll reblog it, even.

[shijiujun]

On Translations

Once again, I’m just plain incensed by dumbasses who think it’s okay to firstly, steal someone else’s hard work and secondly, think they’ve got some right to edit that person’s work because they think they’ve got a better grip on English (not true btw) - It didn’t happen to me (well, as far as I know) and I’m not in the Guardian fandom and I don’t personally know the person who’s dealing with this ridiculous shit, but oof am I angry after seeing the tweet.

Just saw on twitter that some asshole stole a translator’s works (Guardian, Chinese to English) and edited it - Yes it’s just like the MDZS saga a few weeks ago when some white person who doesn’t have any Chinese language knowledge, tried to ‘improve’ translations done by another person who actually knows what they’re doing in both Chinese and English - And then put in on Wattpad with a ridiculous letter and intro where they said: “Great things can be made greater” to explain why they edited the English of the original translation.

“Great things can be made greater,” said the thief.

“I hope my actions will be appreciated,” said the thief again.

Like wow, once again, the audacity - There’ve been extensive arguments on translations since the MDZS saga a few weeks ago and obviously the fan who took ExR’s translations and ‘made them better’ stupidly stepped on a landmine by fucking with the MDZS fandom that has a longer history, more resources and clout than the amount of time she’s been exposed to MDZS via CQL, and got bitch-slapped by the rest of the fandom where there exists a majority of fans knowing clearly what to do and not to do.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said of all fandoms, especially smaller ones - The user i saw is a translator for Guardian and the mofo 1. Stole their translations 2. Edited the translations to ‘better english’ 3. Wrote that they don’t know who did the original translations but “they know where to find me” *cue my eyeroll* 4. And after op commented to say please credit at the very least in May, they’ve been ignored so far - but luckily they’ve got some supporters as well to help report the mofo.

Aside from the ridiculous thievery (not crediting, blatantly lying and stealing, being an arrogant, indecent person stuck on that high horse) of course, the “I believe that great things can be made greater” is a fucking load of bullshit in this instance, and I mean taking someone else’s translations and adding your own spin to it because you think you’ve taken tests in English as a first language in school all your life (fuck off, a lot of these translators did too), that you’ve got some superiority over English or because you think it reads funny?

Granted, most fan translators don’t put up flawless translations (once again, these translators are FREE LABOUR), but you get it for free and you don’t have to (and can’t) read the original text, so suck it up.

Moreover, the disgust that I feel at the claim that the thief’s work is now ‘greater’ is extremely visceral - It’s not a greater piece of work because the thief stole it, period. No one asked for the thief’s help.

(In case you guys are curious the stolen post on Wattpad is here: https://my.w.tt/7dehLj7D56 and if you’d like to report just follow the instructions)

On Chinese to English translations:

1. If you don’t have good grasp of the original language, you have no right editing the translated work after, regardless of language. Until you can clearly understand the original idioms, context, characters etc. or have at least lived with the language for a substantial part of your life, honestly, just stop, you’ve got no right! 

Sure, some translators aren’t as good as you like them to be, but the argument is always, well, you wouldn’t even have this minimal translation if they didn’t do it, so yay you’re like a few sentences and words closer to the text than you were before. If it’s really that bad, hopefully there are better translations and you can ignore the one you’re looking at, but the same rules apply across all translations!! Don’t disrespect the translator (especially when they’ve done nothing wrong except try to give you access to more content).

2. For Chinese, it’s even worse because the language is known for its hidden nuances and complexities within just two to four characters that, when translated into English, can sometimes take up to two long sentences to explain. That’s why sometimes shit reads funny. It’s not that these translators can’t do English, but Chinese to English acrobatics is beyond your comprehension, hell sometimes it’s beyond translators’ comprehension, so thanks for editing something you’ve got no idea about. This user Bee made a very good argument thread IMO about this on Twitter which I suggest people read

3. Adding your edits to a translated piece of work especially without permission or discussion with the translator, honestly who the fuck are you to do that? Either work your damn ass off by painstakingly translating the original and then editing it however you like, or just... enjoy the free content. Chinese BL novels (in this instance and as in many instances i’ve seen) and some of these translators have been around for longer than you’ve been in the fandom, so suddenly when you have an interest in the content, in a culture and language that you’ve never seen before, are unfamiliar with and have zero knowledge about, you think that as a fan you now have the right to edit someone else’s work that was already done correctly? 

The fact is if the translator wrote a bogus line in the English translations, you wouldn’t have known, and when you upload it as your own and ‘improve’ it, you would be a joke, but you didn’t read the original text did you, so what makes you are any sort of authority to edit the translations?

4. Of course this is not to say that non-Chinese speaking people can’t enjoy the same content or have excellent, poignant discussions and understanding over the content, but honestly a lot of translations don’t capture 100% of a Chinese novel because the nuances are just that complex, and translators do their best to convey it regardless - This is why RESPECT FOR THE TRANSLATOR IS IMPORTANT. And I don’t mean simply paying lip service and typing “we respect all translators for their hard work on this work”, and then disrespect it entirely by not crediting, by the simple act of editing without permission etc.

Respect their interpretation and translations, because it can differ from translator to translator translating the same sentence (and people who don’t speak the original language want to compete with that, I don’t understand?!)

5. Honestly, considering how people are still arguing on the semantics of the Bible for example, not only in its original language but also in English alone - if people can’t agree on every sentence of the holy text and what each sentence means to different people, fan translators get a fucking pass

6. I read in Bee’s threads where someone disagreed with their argument of ‘only people who understand the original language can translate and edit’, saying that it’s okay if the editor doesn’t have a grasp of the original language - I understand that yes, someone else’s English might truly be better (for e.g. actual editors but also please don’t proclaim that you’re one just because you think the translator hasn’t lived with English for most of their lives or whatever), but even then, the editor has to work really closely with the translator because the translator is the primary source of the translation i.e. they know exactly what is going on in a particular sentence in their heads that may not have been translated fully, so how can non-Chinese reading editors truly understand the translated text on its own, editing in silos?

7. Perhaps in actual publishing houses that deal with official translations, this is a fallacy that is ever-present and editors do that anyway without understanding the original text (not sure about this, I’m bringing up the point for consideration, hypothetically putting this out here), but my issue with ‘editors’ in the fan translations space is that they come off sitting on some high horse because they think they’re better in English than you are (which of course yes, might be true, but then read points 1-6 again)

8. A thief is a thief, don’t put up an open letter or disclaimer explaining your motivations. It’s plain and simple, you stole someone else’s work, claimed it for your own and are riding on the great (sometimes not so great but still great, if you get what I mean) work that the translator did. You don’t get to claim ownership for any part of it, even your edits. And once again, “original work belongs to the translators” without actually naming the translators? Fuck off.

9. God, I hate Wattpad and Instagram (okay sometimes Twitter but Twitter seems to be a halfway point) - The Sanctuaries for Lazy Content Thieves Where The Platform Endorses Their Shitty Behaviour

10. Aside from translations, I’ve also seen assholes stealing like shitposts and jokes - These are the hardest to prove as well and it’s almost impossible to claim ownership when someone steals your jokes. Thieves only wish they had as creative a brain as some of you (didn’t happen to me but to a mutual) do. The audacity. The audacity! if the work was actually done and paid and recorded, if TurnItIn.com was available for fandom posts, these thieves would be out of gas.

11. Fan translators are not obligated to answer to any of their readers when it comes to why they translated something a certain way. You don’t like it or don’t agree with it, simply ignore, close the tab and go find another translation you like, it’s that simple. Nowadays readers 1. Threaten/Diss the translator directly and rudely 2. Steal the work 3. Add their own spin on it without understanding the original content and say: Yay! Look at this I made it so much better so give me some attention 

*****

The point of this post is not to claim ownership over any fandom or content just because translators or Chinese-speaking/reading people in the fandom know the content better. It’s also not to say that non-Chinese speaking/reading people can’t enjoy, understand, have great discussions over original Chinese content, because just from MDZS alone you can see that they can. Of course there are also individuals who might not be able to speak the language but are familiar with Chinese culture etc. because they’ve studied or lived it well, or maybe they’ve actually watched decades of Chinese drama to be able to analyse it properly now, all that’s awesome. 

Also, I’m all for people who are learning Chinese (or any language for that matter) to translate something as practice. That’s great, that’s good, that’s to be admired!! 

It’s non-Chinese speaking/reading people who claim they know the original content better than translators without any discussions, claiming some superiority over the content because they think the translation is not done well enough without doing any of the ground work that I really have an issue with (and also the fuckers who steal of course XD).

*****

And unfortunately I had too much time on my hands today and got pissed off after seeing the tweet so some of you have to read through this drivel XD

[temperancejones]

Some Kind of Curse- Chapter One

Upon Steve and Kris’ arrival at their base about half an hour later, they were both dragged to the medic, where they also got grilled by their Captain waiting for them there, who was red with anger that Anton Hesse was killed on the extraction mission. Steve and Kris tried to explain what had happened, and how their mission had somehow been compromised, but the Captain wouldn’t have any of it. Of course, they were immediately taken off the mission, as they were now emotionally compromised and a conflict of interest due to both of them and their father getting dragged into this mess and ordered to return to O’ahu for a family emergency. They were forbidden to investigate this case further and were told that if they were caught impeding on the Navy’s investigation and mission, they would be facing a court martial. And then, the Captain left as soon as he got there, mumbling something about how he was sorry for their loss.

Still unable to comprehend everything that had just happened, Steve and Kris let the medics look them over and patch up Kris’ bullet wound. Thankfully, the bullet ricocheted off of Kris’ TAC vest and lodged itself in her deltoid muscle. The bullet was easily removed, and by the looks of it, the wound should heal on its own in a few weeks, but unfortunately for her, her left arm is put in a sling and she is given direct orders to keep it as still as possible to allow the muscle to heal properly. Once the medics give them both approval to leave, they are escorted out of the med bay, where they are immediately taken to their quarters and given ten minutes to gather their things. Steve quickly fills both of their duffle bags, thanks to Kris only having one working arm right now. The twins are then quickly escorted to the Humvees and brought to the nearest airbase, where a cargo plane is being held for them to board so they can get home as soon as possible.

Steve and Kris keep their heads down and find themselves unable to find the right words to say to each other during their entire trip back home, so they were silent for pretty much the entire fifteen-hour trip. The trip took two separate planes to finally get them to Hickam airbase on the beautiful, sunny island of O’ahu, which was once their home many years ago. If the McGarretts’ visit back home for the first time in almost seventeen years was under better circumstances, they would almost feel relieved to be back on the island. But, of course, what they were feeling was quite the opposite- their visit to the island was to bury their father, and then take care of all of the legal issues before getting shipped back out overseas for their next mission, as if nothing had ever happened. Being ordered off the mission that resulted in their father’s death was definitely a low blow to both Steve and Kris, but they both knew that they couldn’t risk their careers for some petty revenge on Victor Hesse. So, like the good little soldiers they are, they will do what needs to be done here, and then get buried in another op as always. Hell, maybe they will even switch gears and go back to intelligence or something to make sure that their brains are constantly occupied so they can forget that they don’t have parents anymore.

Just as the plane touches down to the tarmac of the Air Force base and the pilot takes over control of the plane, the co-pilot turns around and looks at Kris. “Ma’am, I have an incoming call from the Governor of Hawaii. If you put on the spare headset, I will patch you in.” he says to her, gesturing to the headset dangling above Kris’ head. She tries to put on the headset herself, but with one hand, she has no luck. Steve reaches over and puts it on his sister’s head, chuckling a little bit at her frustration. Feeling a little angry at her inability to do such a simple task, Kris nods to the co-pilot to connect her to the call while the plane taxis around the airstrip. A woman’s voice patches through the headset, which Kris assumes is the governor. She hasn’t been keeping track of who is in office at home anymore, as her and Steve have been away for far too long to care at this point.

“Commander, this is Governor Pat Jameson. I just wanted to start by saying I’m so sorry for your loss.” The Governor says to Kris, which makes her heart speed up a little bit- she forgot how painful it was to hear people say I’m sorry for your loss to her. Its something she has detested since the day her mother died. Were people truly sorry for her loss? Or did they just want to make sure that Kris, Steve and their little sister Mary, who was only ten at the time of their mothers death, were getting enough attention, as all eyes were on the honorable John McGarrett, who was simply inconsolable… more than words could ever describe. Her father’s pained cry from the front door was a sound that was forever ingrained into Kris’ brain, and is something that will haunt her forever, along with the singular gunshot that murdered her father less than twenty-four hours ago.

Snapping out of her dreadful thoughts, Kris sits upright in her seat, putting on her Commander façade once again. She clears her throat and speaks into the microphone. “Thank you, Ma’am. What may I do for you?”

“I’d like to talk with you and your brother in person, can we meet at Pearl Harbour in two hours? That will be at about 1300.” Governor Jameson requests hopefully.

Kris takes a moment to wonder why on earth the Governor of Hawaii would want to talk in person with both her and Steve, especially when they have way too much stuff to do in preparation for their father’s funeral. But, A conversation with the governor should be relatively harmless, so Kris agrees to it, and ends the call with the governor. Kris immediately tells Steve about their meeting with the governor, which makes him scowl a little bit, silently wondering why the governor would want to see them as well.

The plane stops shortly after the call ends, and they quickly disembark, where they are met with Captain Twill, a short, stocky man who welcomes them home and shows them to their loaner car for their visit to the island, making sure that they can get around and take care of everything they need to. Thanking the Captain, Steve and Kris hop into the black SUV and head to Arizona hall, which is the lodging hotel for all Navy, Military and Air Force members on Hawaii. It takes them about half an hour to get to the hotel and get checked in, which leaves them an hour and a half to prepare for their meeting with the Governor.

Still not talking much, Kris and Steve take turns showering to wash off the grime on them from their mission in Korea and look presentable for the Governor. When Steve gets out of the shower, Kris is already putting on her dress blues, thankful that they didn’t get wrinkled from her abrupt trip home with them. Steve, who is already in his dress pants and has his shirt on, just unbuttoned, notices that Kris is struggling with the buttons, as they are impossible to do up one-handed, and chuckles at her from the door of the bathroom.

“Need a hand?” Steve asks, smirking a little bit.

“What I really need is a stiff drink, but yes, a hand please. I’m not going to meet the governor with a uniform that is half buttoned up.” Kris sighs. Steve does up his shirt and walks over to his sister, and does hers up for her, and fixes her collar. Kris thanks him, and sits down on the edge of the bed, sighing.

Steve sits next to her, fixing his own collar now, making sure it’s perfect. “This really isn’t how I wanted to come home for the first time since we left, y’know?” Kris confesses. Steve nods and rubs his eyes. “you and me both. I just can’t believe we never got to see him-“, Steve starts to say, but his voice breaks, and he chokes back a sob. He’s right, though. They haven’t really been on good terms with their father since he shipped them away to private school and the Naval Academy on the mainland when they were sixteen. Kris always wondered why their father had pushed all of his children away so much after the death of their mother- but that’s something she might never know now. Kris leans into her brother’s side and puts her head on his shoulder in a silent form of comfort. Steve wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her in tighter for a side hug. He places a kiss on the top of her head- something that he hasn’t done in years, as Kris hates it when they show emotion to one another around fellow troops or even on base, since people assume things about them, which piss her off to no extent. Kris has spent most of her career trying to stay out of Steve’s shadow, as most people in the Navy and Military think it’s outrageous to have a female such as herself on the front lines with the men, even though she is more qualified and trained than most of the soldiers she works with. Kris broke a lot of barriers during her career in the Navy- she became the United States’ first female SEAL and was one of the first women to be on the front lines in general while the States troops were stationed in the middle east. So, with a reputation like that, she definitely doesn’t want people to think that the only reason she got accepted to all of those high-profile posts and ops was because of her brother, who was on them as well. Kris worked just as hard in training to walk alongside Steve during her career so far.

The twins sit like that for a few minutes, just allowing each other to silently mourn their father, a man they felt like they barely knew, but still loved him very much, despite not seeing him for half of their lives. Steve is the first one to break their silence again.

“So, what needs to be done for the funeral?” He asks, which immediately ruins Kris’ rare calm state of mind she had maintained from hugging her brother.

Kris lets out a loud exhale and rubs her face, now sitting upright again, and off of Steve. “A lot. We need to call Duke and get an update on everything. I’m assuming HPD is investigating this as a homicide, which is going to fuck us over, probably. But we need to make funeral arrangements and try to get him buried either at punchbowl or with mom and grandma. Duke should be able to help, I think. Hopefully we can push the funeral to tomorrow and get it over with.” Kris begins to ramble, suddenly remembering everything that she helped dad with for her mother’s funeral all those years ago.

Steve sighs. “Okay, so after we meet the Governor, we can swing by HPD and talk to Duke and get this shit over with… which leads me to my next question… what do you want to do about Hesse?” Steve explains, and then asks his sister seriously, with a little glimmer of hope in his eyes.

Kris furrows her brows and looks back at Steve, trying to read his face to understand what he means, hoping that he isn’t talking about risking his career with this. They both know that if they go down this road, there will be no turning back; they will either get away with disobeying a direct order or get court martialed for doing such an absurd thing, and then get dishonorably discharged. “Please don’t tell me that you’re seriously thinking about doing this, are you?” Kris asks, already knowing the answer. Steve is going to be a stubborn McGarrett about finding Hesse- of course he’s thinking about doing this.

Steve nods. “I was thinking about it the entire trip home, and in the shower. Some things just don’t add up to me. Dad called us Tiger and Champ. I think it means something, but I don’t know what. I want to find out, and I want Hesse to pay for what he did. That son of a bitch needs to go down.” Steve explains, which immediately makes Kris’ mind race.

Kris thinks about it for a few moments, wondering why these oddities never occurred to her; She was probably too busy being anxious about the upcoming funeral for her father. She has always hated funerals- they offered no closure whatsoever and were very upsetting to attend. “Tiger and Champ… Champ as in that old toolbox we got him for Father’s Day when we were little to work on the Marquis? And that stupid tiger I made him in grade six art class?” Kris speculates, just throwing her first thoughts out there to Steve.

“The one he kept on his desk, in the den, right? And the toolbox! Yes, it was in the garage, but I don’t ever remember grabbing tools from it?” Steve then adds on, snapping his fingers for dramatic effect, which ignites a spark of sheer curiosity between the twins. Now they both know that they have to follow up on these breadcrumbs their father left for them, even if it means their careers in the Navy will end because of it. They need the closure and answers as to why anyone, especially Hesse, would target an innocent man and murder him in cold blood. Damn it, Kris thinks to herself. This is going to change a lot of things in their lives if they go through with the investigation on the toolbox and the tiger, but she genuinely believes that it will be completely worth it.

Kris looks at the wall and nods, trying to anticipate everything that’s going to happen in the next few days. Kris can’t help but think that if her and Steve hadn’t been hunting down the Hesse brothers, then maybe, just maybe, their father might still be alive right now, and they could still have a longer career in the Navy. But everything happens for a reason, Kris decides, and says “fuck it, let’s get this bastard”, to Steve, which make him grin at his sister.

For the next hour, Steve and Kris grab a bite to eat at the restaurant connected to their hotel, and head over to pearl harbour, where they wait to meet with Governor Jameson. They arrive half an hour early, and decide to head to the edge of the pier to pay respects to their grandfather, as well as the other lives lost at the pearl harbour attack, who are still entombed in the ocean, only a few hundred feet away from where Steve and Kris stand now. Knowing that their grandfather, the original Steve McGarrett, was an honourable man who fought until the very last moment of his life to protect this country, is something that Steve and Kris hold dear to their hearts; they both have his service number tattooed on their forearms, reminding them constantly of his sacrifice. Maybe now they will have to get something for their father tattooed on them too as a reminder.

Once they are both finished paying their respects, Steve and Kris continue to stand at the pier and begin to devise an action plan to continue their investigation and start to track down Victor Hesse again. They talk in hushed voices, to make sure that they can’t be heard, and ultimately decide that they will go to the house tomorrow once HPD leaves the scene to recover the tiger and the champ toolbox and see where it goes from there. What matters most right now is arranging the funeral for their father, which should hopefully be tomorrow morning if they can pull the right strings with HPD today. Steve and Kris get so caught up in their plans that they almost forget that they’re supposed to be meeting the Governor any minute now, so when she gets their attention by saying “Commanders?” loudly over the wind, they almost jump in surprise. Thankfully, they keep their cool and turn around to face the voice that called them.

Governor Pat Jameson is a tall, blonde, older woman, who immediately gives off the impression that she will not be messed with. Kris likes that. Steve doesn’t really look impressed.

“Governor,” Steve says flatly, now facing the woman, who is approaching them still. Governor Jameson’s short blonde hair is blowing in the wind from the ocean, as is her business skirt and fitted suit jacket, but she doesn’t let that phase her. She walks up to the two Commanders and outstretches her hand for them to shake. Once greetings are passed around, Governor Jameson thanks Steve and Kris for meeting with her and invites them to walk along the pier with her. Still wondering what the Governor could possibly want, Steve and Kris look at each other, and then agree, following Governor Jameson’s lead.

This should be an interesting conversation, Kris thinks to herself as she slides off her hat, which is about to blow off in the wind. Here goes nothing.

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/233640136-some-kind-of-curse-hawaii-five-0

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25176232/chapters/61334512

[awhilde]

down, down the rabbit hole

pairings: none, but the characters include mingyu. wonwoo, jihoon, jeonghan (from svt) and an oc

genre(s): thriller, gore (tiny bit). a made-in-abyss!au :D

warnings: because of the previously mentioned gore, readers discretion is advised. also swearing!

word count: 4.06k words

synopsis: in which mingyu and his friends allow their naivety and curiosity to drive them forward, dropping them down a 20,000 metre abyss where the abnormal becomes far too evident. stumbling through nature’s phenomenon, the group is forced to experience horrors that sombre their once exhilarating endeavours. will they be able to be decisive when their friend’s life is on the line, and who is this red-eyed creature that promises them sanctuary? 

author’s note: hey guys! unfortunately, this isn’t the genshin au i promised however i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! i believe i published this a while ago on another account but i’m posting it again for content <3 also it was originally a y/n piece so please tell me if there’s a “you” or “your” that i’ve missed in my brief editing!  the genshin au will come out soon :)

mingyu struggled to pinpoint an exact moment in his life which he could blame for his current circumstances.

it was as easy for him to say that sneaking into his good friends wonwoo and jihoon’s room past the stroke of midnight was the cause, as it were to say growing up at his local orphanage was at fault. hell, if the reasoning travelled down this path, it could also be justified that by simply existing he’d cause himself to arrive at his current position. perhaps this was his destiny, every event of his life leading up to this climax, worthless in the grand scheme of fate for every decision he had believed to have made was manipulated for the sole purpose of mingyu in the situation he was in as of present; torn with the constant conflict of emotion he was experiencing.

this was where his life had led him, 20,000 metres deep into a swirling, unforgiving vortex where the abnormal became evident with every blink of the eye, and where it intended to end, it seemed.  

the sky overhead had vanished from sight two layers into the unnatural phenomenon, when the fog by their feet had thickened to a substance that clung moist against every vulnerable patch of skin and surface. mingyu never thought he would come to miss the cloudy skies of his mediocre hometown. where had his thirst for adrenaline gone now? but after a tormenting week treading deeper and deeper into the abyss’ claws, mingyu had yearned for familiarity.

when his stomach gave way on the third layer, mingyu missed most the plain bowl of congee the orphanage served to him every morning despite its lack of taste and colour.

when his eyes started to leak pus and blood, mingyu missed most the shimmering sun, burning on the edge of the horizon every evening despite its glare on his skin.

there was much the boy felt grateful for, oh how he only came to this realisation now, 20,000 metres far from home. his goal to reach the very depth of the abyss slipped from his hands like running water, gathered only by the company his friends provided him. mingyu never felt more grateful that he hadn’t entered alone.

if his naivety had gotten away from him yet again, mingyu shivered at the prospect of descending without the companionship of his three closest friends, wonwoo, jihoon and lyra. he never sourced his complaints outside of his head, for every disaster that he experienced, he knew his friends experienced the same suffering alongside him, comfort in the form of unspoken understanding. mingyu knew he would be able to overcome these mishaps as long as their companionship never left him.  

however, god’s sense of humour must be twisted for the first night of the fifth layer, the last layer of mingyu’s sanity thinned.

“fuck!” jihoon swore. his hand shook in the tangles of his hair, the other hovering over wonwoo’s body as if uncertain. “fuck, fuck, fuck!”

mingyu heard jihoon’s cursing as if submerged underwater for his head went static from his own worry. he tipped his backpack upside down in desperation, seeking an item his sub-conscious knew didn’t exist. hadn’t they packed an antidote for this specific reason? but it had been long gone, shattered and spilt over the edge of a crumbling cliff after a desperate struggle of power between a gnarly beast and mingyu’s life. that mistake could possibly cost his friend’s life.

lyre caressed wonwoo’s hair as his head laid like deadweight on her lap, mouth dry against the dense air, chest heaving harsh pants. his eyes, heavily diluted, seemed to stare past her head at empty space and lyre may have lost all hope had it not been for the ghost of determination underlining the furrow of his brows. “wonwoo, i swear you’ll be okay, just hold on a little longer. mingyu’s getting the antidote now, he’s just a little slow. you know how clumsy he can get, just hang on, okay?”

but wonwoo had stopped giving replies ten minutes ago.

her hands, like her voice, trembled under the weight of a moist cloth, aiming to replace the steaming one on his head but fear diverted its path with every shake. doubt threatened to choke her of her words, leaving lyre curled up by the side of the abnormal rainforest, the world never viewed the same again. but she knew, if not marginally, that panic wouldn’t do the situation any more good.

jihoon seemed to have lost all sense of this concept however, as he continued to alternate between standing and pacing the grounds. “there has to be something i’ve forgotten, something that can help. think, jihoon, think!”

wonwoo hissed in pain then, and all three of his friends turned in fright. his arm had swelled to an abnormal size, pulsing liquid under his skin and shaded a dark purple.

“jihoon.” lyre called after the boy had settled, voice wavering. “wasn’t there something we learnt at school? something about the poison of []’s?”

“i know there was something, i know! but i can’t remember it!” jihoon let his words explode from his chest yet he heeds no apology. “damn it, what was it?” his eyes found mingyu across the field, still digging through the contents of their shared bags. “for fuck’s sake, leave the fucking bags, mingyu! they’re worthless right now.”  

mingyu glanced up from his own world of regret and doubt, torment swimming in the pools of his eyes. the situation looked hopeless no matter what angle he portrayed it in. and, this had been his fault. his own carelessness, his naivety had prompted the death of his best friend. why hadn’t he listened to them all when they told him to step back from the pond? what had his mind been doing, telling him to continue his reckless behaviour just for the short lived praise he might have received? he had been pushed to the side when the lone [ ] had arrived at the scene, a creature so foreign and unknown that fear had short-circuited his actions.

he had stood frozen in the line of danger, horror encasing his body in suffocating crystals. it was wonwoo that had moved first, wonwoo who had considered all possible options which led him to sacrifice his own body for mingyu’s, wonwoo that had thrown himself at the creature, mingyu’s life and not his own being the only thing weighing on hid mind.

what had his last words been? the thought dawned on mingyu, like a nostalgic taste on the tip of his tongue. “don’t sulk, you look super dumb?” no, there was something else. something of potential importance, yet it mocked his grasp when he neared the truth. wonwoo’s whines of pain sounded as background noise at the point of his pondering, so familiar and yet gruelling at the pits of his stomach.

“something…” he mumbled, and lyre and jihoon looked up at the sound of his voice. “wonwoo said something before he couldn’t speak, what was it?”

“is this really the time?” jihoon snapped. “this isn’t the time.”

“jihoon, shut up. there was something he said before he became like this. i have a feeling he was trying to tell us how to deal with the situation.”

lyre turned her head from mingyu to the pale boy in her lap, a concentrated look evident in the crease between her eyebrows. mingyu caught the movement from the corner of his eye and clicked his finger at her. “lyre, you were the closest to him at the time. do you remember what it was?”

at the sudden spotlight, her mind blanked. there had been something previously, but the thought taunted and danced around the perimeter of her head as she tried, and failed, to chase it. “his arm, he mentioned something about his arm.” she finally blurted, his voice entering her head.

jihoon practically growled at the words. “well geez, that solves everything, doesn’t it? thanks for wasting our time, mingyu.” both mingyu and lyre took no offense to his harsh words; someone had to be the angry one in the current situation. lyre continued that train of thought, blocking out the noise of jihoon’s ranting, mingyu’s mumbling and wonwoo’s whimpers. she hoped that fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to give her this sliver of hope, thin and feeble in her hands, and that the solution to this dawning terror would be solved with the following revelation. “breaking something… he mentioned breaking something. what was it? a tree branch? true, the antidote of a beast should be found around the region so that its prey may survive from its poison. otherwise, the ecosystem would fail. but which tree? in this rainforest, what tree are we talking about. breaking apart… a bug? another small mammal? no, you wouldn’t break something with flesh, you would break something that’s hard. breaking… like snapping? breaking…”

jihoon continued to pace around you and wonwoo, head spinning in constant agony. there was fault coloured in the pale flush of his cheeks, why didn’t he know how to solve this issue? why didn’t he pull mingyu aside when the monster had first showed itself? and worse, why hadn’t he been the one to risk his life? why had he froze, selfish in the way that he valued his life over his dear friend’s, opting instead to leave someone else to do the harsh deed. why hadn’t he moved and pull wonwoo who laid by his feet out of harm’s way, instead standing still and letting the monster take a fierce chomp out of wonwoo’s arm? there was no doubt that if he had successfully performed the manoeuvre, wonwoo wouldn’t be in the position he was in now.

his feet crunched against a fallen stick as he paced and the noise triggered a thought in lyre’s head, her eyes widening in disbelief as it all clicked together.

“oh my god, his arm.” she murmured.

jihoon goes to quieten her, goes to tell her to stop obsessing over the idea of his arm when a tear slips from her eyes. the sheer terror from the thought evoked strong pulses of emotion to leak from lyre’s eyes like bleeding cyanide, but she pushed through regardless. how selfish would it be to only think of yourself whilst your friend suffered on the brink of death?

she looked jihoon in the eyes and repeated herself. “his arm. he wants us to snap his arm before the poison reaches his brain.”

lyre gave the boys no time to digest this new sliver of information, working instead to tear off a section of your shirt and wrapping it tightly where the poison had evidently stopped on his arm, black and purple, budging skin pressed against the material. in truth, lyre had no idea what she was doing, simply relying on memory and the many shows she’d watched to guide her movements as she tightened the knot.

the still silence broke when mingyu began to protest against the speculation, fearing the consequence of the action, but jihoon had moved to her side without further protest.

“guys, what are you doing? this isn’t right, we’ll just be killing him instead! guys, please stop, don’t think like that, there’ll be another way, please…” mingyu’s words failed to comprehend through his friends’ ears.

jihoon’s hands replaced lyra’s on the fabric and took over the job, eyes empty as he worked. only lyre saw the tremor in his hands as he tore more fabric and secured the separation of skin. his eyes meet the shivering girl’s over wonwoo’s body. “can you do this?”

her intake of breath is loud in the air shared between the two of you. clearly, jihoon had no idea what he was doing either, despite being the token medical friend. despite knowing that it was her idea, lyre shook her head softly.

“i’m going to use the axe that we kept to break his bones. can you help snap the rest?”

his words were gruesome, sickening to its core but wonwoo’s cries answered his question before she was able to, and she nodded seconds after. hesitance could cost wonwoo’s life.

     mingyu stood over the two of them, passing the axe to jihoon with a grimace on his face. “god this is wrong, god this is so, so wrong.” but the transition is smooth as he lets the axe fall into his friend’s hands.

jihoon acknowledged the fact with an incoherent mumble before adjusting his grip on the tool. “mingyu, get me some water. we may not have disinfectants but if we don’t wash it, bacteria will kill him instead.”

the boy’s shadow left the trio. lyra  placed a hand over wonwoo’s eyes, hoping that he wouldn’t catch a glimpse of what was to come. was he even conscious in the process? what if she had been wrong to think that his last words demanded the loss of a limb. this was by no means a perfectly successful strategy, but as it was all they had, so regardless of any .lingering whips of doubt, she held onto it like a lifeline.

“ready?” jihoon murmured.

the both of them nodded their heads slightly; there was no way they would be completely ready. but lyra’s hands found wonwoo’s biceps and they stayed there, stayed there until the axe swung up into the air, metal glinting in the reflection of the sun before falling from the force of gravity and the aid of jihoon’s strength. stayed there until the axe fell and met his flesh with a sickening thud.

a thud.

a blunt thud.

wonwoo’s shrill screams pierced through the previously tranquil atmosphere of the rainforest. his back lurched forward but mingyu had some sense to hold down his body before the axe had fallen. though mingyu had held down his body, wonwoo didn’t halt thrashing around. his arms pulsed under lyra’s hands and his legs kicked out for an escape.

“oh god.” jihoon exclaimed in horror, white sheet evident against his face. his hands shook and the axe fell to the floor.

underneath where the blade of the axe had fallen, crimson paint blossomed leaving a trail of broken skin and something else twisted. his flesh peaked from under the flabs of his skin, untainted until it was, blood and pus swimming from his arm.

wonwoo couldn’t stop screaming.

it was clear that jihoon had failed to touch the bone.

wonwoo’s eyes felt wet under lyra’s hands and she let out a weak sob.

jihoon froze.

mingyu struggled under wonwoo’s flailing figure.

“give it here!” mingyu was quick to shout, snatching the axe from the ground without a response, forcing jihoon to quickly melt his terror from his skin and throw himself onto wonwoo’s body.  

wonwoo cries were deafening, coarse now from use and the strength in his limbs had weakened, allowing jihoon to hold down his body with more ease despite the weight difference.

mingyu swung without any indication of doing so, hard and fast against the same spot jihoon had attacked. this time, he pulled away with a weak crack. he whimpered at the noise but raised it again.

“oh my god.” lyra whimpered. “oh my god, why did we use a blunt axe?”

but mingyu doesn’t stop. he continued to swing the axe, up and down, letting the momentum aid his strength, letting wonwoo’s protests to stop fuel his stamina. there is a squelch among the splinters, a cry amongst the shouts but mingyu never falters. he doesn’t falter when lyra moved her own hands to help settle the body, avid to stop his movements. he doesn’t stop when wonwoo’s voice crack, soundless screams like the cries of tormenting ghosts whispering regret and fault into his ears. he doesn’t stop when the boy’s eyes roll back into his head, revealing murky white. and he doesn’t stop when wonwoo’s body finally falls slack on the floor, limp and drained of all energy from the continued torture he had undergone.

he only stopped when the arm separates completely from the body, a tattered arm lying lifelessly away from its previously conjoined biceps, adorned with the colour of fresh blood and oozing pus. the wound pulsated with flowing blood.

“water!” mingyu cried. he turned to a shell-shocked jihoon whose eyes had watched without blinking. “get the water, goddamnit!”

perhaps it was his tear-stricken face, or his eyes that reflected a haunted expression due to the fact he axed away at his friend, but jihoon finally moved. he’d leapt to grab their source of water and begun to pour it without thought at the injury.

lyra gasped, taking in the oxygen that your body severely lacked. “stop, you’re wasting it! put the bottle closer!”

truthfully, half of the spent water and rushed and spilt onto the jungle floor, worthless to their current situation. the boy instantly followed after your words, edging nearer to the smell of rotting flesh and decay. the boy felt faint at the scent, more so at the sight. god, there was so much blood.

mingyu rebooted and finally began to move again. “tear off your shirt.”

the girl hesitated at his words.

“tear off your shirt!” he repeated with more intended force.

she was quick to break out of her trance and began to tear long stripes of cotton from her attire, mingyu doing the same. in a clumsy, almost child-like way, the three of you attempt to bandage the leaking wound as best as you can, but the white cloth turns scarlet red as soon as its placed. a hopeless sob escaped your throat. had you just murdered your friend?

the almost lifeless body laid like a corpse on the ground, pale in his complexion and unconscious. he would have been mistaken for dead had it not been for the shallow breaths the three of them heard occasionally. when the sun had fallen, the bleeding had eased. simply for a lack of supple, lyra wondered in half-hearted ponder. she felt lightheaded in the sense that thought ran away from her. she wished for water, but they had used the majority in hopes of washing wonwoo’s wound.

it seemed hopeless all over again.

“oh my. perhaps it’s finally my time to step in.”

lost in her own world of panic, lyra missed the words of a newcomer though it appeared jihoon hadn’t.

“who are you?” jihoon asked, successfully gaining lyra’s and mingyu’s attention away from the body though it lingers on their minds. hostility crept into the boy’s voice as he continued. “what do you want?”

the source of the unfamiliar voice stemmed from a figure hidden within the shadows of the towering trees. none of the three could determine the identity of the creature causing suspicion to raise.

the creature walked from beneath the tree’s shade, a smug-like expression adorning their face. they appeared human-like, sharing similar features with the humans lyra was familiar with. they had normal curly, black hair that tickled the tips of his ears, eyes that curved like crescents and a mouth in which appeared to be in a constant mocking state. they would have come off as human save for the sharp teeth that glimmered in his grin and the red, hungry look in his eyes. “my name is jeonghan.” he explained.

“are you… human?” mingyu wondered.

the thing chuckled as if he found something the boy said humorous. “that’s funny, as if i could possibly downgrade.”

jihoon positioned his boy to protectively angle his body against the strange creature. “what do you want from us?”

jeonghan tilted his head. “why, what does it look like i’m doing?”

“it looks like you’re being a nuisance.” he answered. grabbing at the axe, he placed it between the four of you and the red eyed beast. wonwoo’s blood dripped from the edge of the blade to which jeonghan raised his eyebrows at. “stay back.” but jihoon’s voice betrayed his attitude and cracked under the pressure.

“put the axe down, jihoon.” jeonghan warned, taking a step forward. despite his firm voice, his lips wavered as if to conceal a smile.

“how do you know my name?” the boy replied instead of complying. despite jeonghan stepping closer, jihoon’s threats made no appearance. he had entered the abyss in hopes to solve the lifelong mystery of where it came from, not to fight a mystical creature. nothing in his life had trained him for this

“you two were screaming it so much it was hard to miss. it would be, rather, more shocking if i hadn’t heard it.” jeonghan said, gesturing to lyra and mingyu. “you two should really keep it down, by the way, or you’ll wake stronger beasts than the one you encountered before, you know, the one that bit your friend? and then even i wouldn’t be able to save you from them.” he hesitated and you flinched from his words. “well, maybe i could.”

mingyu took the silence that followed after as an opportunity to speak. “this sounds like you’re here to help us?”

jeonghan shrugged and mingyu noticed that he had been steadily closing the gap between him and the group but he let the thought slide. he were tired, oh so tired from the fear of losing his friend, the adrenaline from contributing to said friend’s loss of a limb and now this, a potential threat. perhaps death called, though it couldn’t be so bad if it promised a peaceful rest.

           “i would simply be delighted to aid you in your…” he glanced around jihoon’s guarding figure to wonwoo’s body. “successful attempt to save your friend.” he finally spoke, words coming out rather slowly. “however, my buddy jihoon here, seems to be opposed against my gracious decision. perhaps you want wonwoo to die, jihoon buddy ol’ pal?”

jihoon looked to be physically in pain, teeth grinding upon each other. his mouth opened to say more but mingyu placed a firm hand on his arm. “we’ll accept.” mingyu said. “please save our friend.” the boy glanced at jihoon and shook his head desperately. “wonwoo doesn’t have time for us to argue.” he offered as explanation and when jihoon sighted wonwoo, he found himself agreeing.

“fine. please help us, jeonghan.” he muttered, hands still tightening on the handle of the axe though he lets his arm drop.

the creature clapped his hands in excitement. “excellent! i knew you would come around, jihoon.”

lyra cut into the conversation before jihoon could take the bait and bite back. “how are you going to save him? what are you going to do?”

the desperateness must have coloured her tone for jeonghan turned to face her. his eyes were haunting when they settled on hers for the first time, seemingly delving deep into her soul and prying deep into her memories. they left no surface unturned, a hurricane in his wake, the smile engraved into the crevices of her mind as he spoke once more. “come back with me and i’ll show you.”

lyra watched as jeonghan turned from her, colour returning into her sight as his figure began to disappear against the backdrop of the rainforest. she heard only her faint breaths and the whistle of perching birds, heads tilted in curiosity as they watched the event that occurred in the world beneath them. her eyes find mingyu’s which have been hardened beyond recognition and the two of you knew that the moment would forever be etched into the wrinkles of their brains. if they were to ever survive this, it would only mean elongated suffering.

there were tears in lyra’s eyes at the prospect of failing their initial endeveurs to explore the hidden depths of the unknown phenomenon. hadn’t they only wanted to explore what the abyss had offer? hadn’t they simply wanted the thrill of adventuring with your childhood friends, seeking out a journey that would be inked in history? and now the reality of the world had sunken into their bones like cement.

the four of them had barely descended past the fifth layer, edging on the boundaries and the concept of returning knocked on your mind like an unwanted friend.

jihoon stood, rustling the wind at the sudden disturbance. he swung wonwoo’s only arm over his shoulder and wordlessly trekked after jeonghan whose back was almost consumed by the forest’s shadows. there was only one option and jihoon knew this, knew this before the rest of his friends did.

mingyu followed after jihoon, zipping up his backpack and tossing it over his shoulder. he offered lyra a hand as he passed her on the floor, which she accepted. an unspoken nod is bounced back between the two, something like determination and acceptance in the gesture.

whatever was in their path of destiny had to be overcome no matter its challenge, for the four of them had descended so far to die only at its fifth layer.

[igotthesmellofbooks]

YAY! I used the same ops. That first one that I posted with eva and alex was actually supposed to be this but then I changed the plot

JUST SO YOU KNOW I DIDN’T READ OR EDIT IT ‘COZ I WAS FEELING LAZY

Like  I said before, PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS ANYWHERE SINCE THIS IS PURELY FOR READING PURPOSES:

                                                      CHAPTER 1  

Trekking through the dusty and dark tunnels of underground metro trains were Scarlet and Alex, MMP’s (Ministry of Magical Protection) best. They were both 16, going 17. The Ministry of Magical Artifacts had reported an artifact missing; The Mirror of Memories. It was supposed to be a shield but no-one used it. It showed the opponent’s worst memories, disabling him/her long enough to kill. They got a lead the day before, regarding where the Mirror might be. That day, a blast was reported at the same coordinates. Scarlet and Alex had been walking through the wreckage since dawn stopping only to rest and see to their needs and now it was nightfall with a full moon in the sky.

Scarlet stifled a cough and complained for the sixth time,” Your jokes are so lame! Why can’t you just memorize some from a book and not make them up on your own?”

Alex gave her a wicked grin that told her she wasn’t going to like the answer to that question and said, ”Do you actually mean that?”

She stopped and said,” Kind of.” Then said teasingly,” Do you want me not  to mean it?” He stopped a few feet away and for a split second almost looked flustered.  He hesitated and blurted,” Yeah…”  Scarlet tried not to blush but failed and was thankful that he couldn’t see her in the dim lighting so she said,” Then just keep quiet and try to think of better ways to charm me with your humour.” and averted her eyes. She found him staring at her with a faint smile on his lips. She punched him on the shoulder and he yelped in surprise. He glared at her and she said,” Let’s get going, troublemaker.” Ignoring his glare, she picked her way through the debris until she reached the main site of the blast. She started and Alex came to stand beside her. He exhaled sharply.

There was a circle where no debris had fallen. And in the middle of the circle lay shattered the Mirror.

“You got to be kidding me…Do you know about any defensive spell that could cause a blast?” Scarlet asked, turning to Alex.  “Nope.” “Come on, Alex, be serious.” “Well…. I might have seen one in an advanced spell book, but I don’t remember the book’s name…” “Alex!  You have to remember!” She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “Unless… There’s something you want from me.” He spread his hands as she glared at him.” Of course. I shouldn’t have expected anything else.” She muttered under her breath as she dug into her backpack and threw him his silver sword. He caught it elegantly by the hilt and grinned as it shrunk into a silver ring. He pocketed it and said,” The book’s name is ‘Advanced Wizard’s Spells- Sequel 2’ spell 253.” Biting her lip, she said, “I didn’t know the Mirror could be destroyed.” Her stomach twisted into a knot and she felt something coil in her gut, a sense of danger.

She slammed into Alex but a second too late. An arrow, meant for his neck, sprouted from her left shoulder as she pushed him to the ground. Scarlet screamed in agony as red-hot pain snaked from her shoulder to her brain. The thing wrapped in shadowy robes tried to approach them but when it  Reaching into her pocket, she took a gun out and fired a red flare into the air to call for help, but the assailant was already gone.

A few minutes later, after their brief and murderous encounter, she was sitting propped up against a wall, when a still shaken Alex, kneeling beside her, said quietly,” Thank you. For saving my life.” She frowned and said,” You would have done the same for me. We still have to find that boo-“ But she was rudely interrupted by Alex clamping a hand over her mouth. ”Whoa, whoa. Take it easy for now, Scarlet. You’re hurt and so you have to rest for a few days. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” Suddenly, the spinning of chopper blades sounded and they looked to the brightening sky. He rose and helped her up. She winced as pain splintered her vision and he caught her grimacing. “Just don’t say ‘told you so’.” She said and he smirked. “Actually, that was just what I was about to say.” he shrugged,” Guess you beat me to it.” They climbed into the chopper and he sat down beside her. In twenty minutes, they were dropped off to the headquarters. Scarlet trudged up the stairs to the medicinal section to get her wound cleaned and bandaged and Alex trailed after her.

                                                                                  Chapter 2

Alex could see Scarlet was trying hard not to scream, the way she bit down on her lip, hard enough to draw blood when the healer snapped the shaft and extracted the rest of the arrow from her shoulder. She caught him staring and stuck out her tongue at him. He grinned sheepishly but wasn’t able to look away. The scraps on his knees and hands had already been taken care of. She winced as the healer tightly wrapped the bandage around her injured shoulder. He fought down the urge to yell,” Treat her gently!”.

Gods, she was beautiful, with her rich dark brown hair, teal green eyes and red lips. She was smart. And funny too. He enjoyed spending time with her.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he felt Scarlet nudging him with her shoe and realised he had been gawking. “What?” he asked.” Did you ask me a question?” Scarlet nodded. ”Uh huh. Dan just told you to get up ‘cause others are waiting for their turn.” She slid off the metal table with feline grace and gestured for him to join her. She strode down the hallway, stopped at a door, opened it, revealing a balcony with a bench, overlooking the mountains, peaked with snow. They closed the door and sat down on the bench. She rubbed her temples and her shoulders slumped. “You okay?” she asked, casting a sidelong glance at him. “I should be asking you that. How’s your shoulder?” he enquired. She sighed.” Getting worse every minute.” She rested her head on his shoulder and he slid an arm around her, mindful of her wound.

They stayed like that for a few moments until she said,” It’s already 2 a.m., so I gotta go now. I need a bath and  nap so, don’t call me before 12 p.m.” She got up and saying good bye, went on her way. Alex was about to get up when he realised she had forgotten her pendant on the bench. He turned to look at her retreating form a last time but she was gone.

          -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alex flopped onto his bed, and set Scarlet’s pendant on his nightstand, before draping the blankets over himself. Tucking his hands under his head, he thought about Scarlet. He liked her. A lot. He paused. What were her feelings? Did she think he was a bit stupid? What did she actually like about him? He sighed. He’ll never know.

He was just drifting off to sleep when he spotted a lithe cloaked figure dropping off onto the balcony just outside his window. He pretended to be asleep as the cloaked figure slid open the window and swung himself inside. He stalked towards Alex’s bed and snatched up Scarlet’s pendent. Alex suddenly swung his fist into the stranger’s stomach and he dropped like a stone. Alex was already there, pinning the stranger’s thighs with his knees and his arms with his hands. “You better start talking now.” He growled.

A low laugh sounded from the hood. ”Oh, gods, Alex. Don’t give me that attitude.” ”Wait… Scarlet?!” “Get off me, Alex. Also, you have a hand of my injury and hurts.” He let go and offered a hand. She knocked it away and got up on her own. “Why are you here?” he asked. She grinned mischievously and said,” Thought you’d be happy to see me.” “I… I am... you know…happy now that you’re here...” he stammered. Oh, why did he always act like an idiot around her? Scarlet’s grin grew. She sat on the bed, removed her shoes and crossed her legs. She patted the space beside her. “Sit down.” She smirked and said,” Don’t worry, I won’t bite.” He gulped and sat. “Do you want to go?” she asked. He frowned and said,” Go where?” She rolled her eyes. ”The Ministry’s Founder, James Bidman, is throwing a charity party tomorrow night because a representative from the Russian branch, called Jason Hoover, asked him to do so as they are in a financial crunch, ” She sighed dramatically, and said,” Unfortunately, people below 17 are not  allowed inside. Fortunately, I can sneak us in.”

Grinning widely, he said, ”Why not? Let’s go!” “Yay!” She gave him a bear hug. He blushed. She said, “You look so cute when you have no idea what to say.” And with that, she put her shoes on, jumped out of the window, mock saluted him and leapt over the low railing of the balcony. She probably thought he was going back to sleep. But he had other things on his mind. He put out the lights, changed and prepared to sneak into Scarlet’s room.                                                                                                                                                                                                           

                                                                                       Chapter 3

Scarlet had known that there was no way Alex would refuse a place where he wasn’t allowed to be. Although she felt bad for playing with him like that, she was more concerned about what she was going to wear for the party. She bounded up the stairs, moving with renewed energy and popped her head into her mom and dad’s room. Dad was already up, changed out of his nightclothes and into his smart pilot’s uniform. His face brightened when he spotted her peering from the door. ”Hey, honey. Already back from the headquarters?” Dad was the only one so far who knew about her double life. She groaned. ”Someone shot me through my shoulder with an arrow.” His eyes narrowed and filled with anger. “Who dared harm my little girl?” But his anger soon melted and gave way to concern. “Did you get your wound cleansed?” “Yeah, Dad. Shouldn’t you get going? You’ll get late.” He kissed the top of her head and said, “I have to go for a test flight today. Then I have to pilot an aeroplane for a 12 hour flight so I won’t be back until the day after tomorrow. Then when I come back,” His lips stretched towards a grin. “We’ll make s’mores and watch movies late into the night!” Dad adjusted the cap on his head and went down the stairs and a few seconds later, she heard the click of the front door shutting quietly.

She heard the whisper of the blankets and knew her mom was awake. She walked towards the bed and found her mom already standing up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Mom saw her and hugged her good morning. “Just wake your elder brother up, will you?” “We’ll be down for breakfast before you know it.” “Good. I’ll be downstairs.” said Mom, and patting Scarlet’s cheek, headed downstairs to the kitchen. Scarlet threw open the door to the room she shared with her brother and strode inside. The room had two separate beds- hers and Adam’s. It had a window through which some sunlight filtered in. Shrugging off her backpack, she glanced to her brother, Adam, snoring to the fullest with one arm dangling off the side of his bed and a blanket over his head. She wondered how he was breathing.

Nudging him awake, she said in a singsong voice she knew he hated, ”Hey, sleepy head. Early bird gets the pancakes, late bird gets the leftovers…” He didn’t budge. She began shaking him. ”Wake up! Adam! I’m hungry!” After much coaxing, he decided to get up. Or so she thought. No, he only decided to change his position. Suddenly, she ripped the blankets off him and reeled back in surprise. It wasn’t Adam! It was- “Alex?!” “Thought you’d be happy to see me.” She cocked an eyebrow. ”Throwing my own words back at me?” ”Yep.” Get up.” He pouted like a spoilt kid. “B-but I was hoping you would play with me.” “Did you even ask mom and Adam and dad?” He frowned. ”Of course I did.” “Where is my brother?” Adam appeared in the doorway. ”Hey Scarlet.” Scarlet stepped closer saying, ”Mom’s calling you down for breakfast. And you’d better hurry or she’ll scold me.” Adam paused on the first step. ”That would be great.” “Shut up and get your butt downstairs.” Behind her, Alex burst out laughing and almost choked. Not finding anything funny at the moment, she glared at him. He stopped and gulped. “What do you plan on wearing tonight?” she asked, still glowering. “It’s a surprise.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Oh, please. I know you. You have no idea what to wear.” “What are you wearing?” he retorted. She smirked. ”It’s a surprise. I do know what I am going to wear. And I’m giving you what to wear too.” ”What-“started Alex, but she cut him off by saying, ”That is also a surprise.” He sighed through his nose. ”Ugh. Fine. You win. Like always.” “Good to know.” He imitated her voice. “‘Wake up! Adam! I’m hungry!’” He shook his head and grinned. ”Let’s go downstairs, shall we?” She stepped in front of him and pointed at the bed. “Make that unless you want me to lock you in the room and, you had better believe me, I will.” “It’s not fair; Adam told me to do it!” he whined. “Alex, it’s just going to take a minute. Do it.” Rolling his eyes, he straightened the covers and folded the blankets. Neatly. She pretended to be staring at him, wide eyed. “How did you do that?” He straightened. “Do what?” “Not be messy.” She extended her arms skywards and exclaimed, ”Finally! Thank you, God!” He snorted. “Don’t be so dramatic, Scarlet.” “Why not? I enjoy it. Let me remind you, you’re just as dramatic as me.” He took a step towards her. ”Am I?” She felt her cheeks flush. Clearing her throat, and trying not to stammer, she asked, “If you’re done, can we go downstairs?”

                                                                                                  Chapter 4

Alex was enjoying this far too much. Scarlet looked so cute when she was flustered. As they went down the stairs, he saw her cheeks were red. “Good morning, Mrs Courtney.” Scarlet’s mom looked up from the pan where she was making the pancakes and smiled. “Hello, Alex. Could you pass me the maple syrup?” He slid the tall bottle across the marble counter towards her then made himself comfortable on the chair, beside Adam. He looked at Scarlet, who was still standing, frowning at Adam. “You dare not eat too much maple syrup. Last time, you finished the entire bottle in three days.” He stifled a laugh and failed- horribly. Adam thumped him on the back. “You sound like you’re choking, even though you haven’t eaten anything. What happened?” “I don’t think he was choking, Adam. Rather, laughing.” Chuckling herself, she took her seat on his other side. His heart started pounding faster, harder. It was a relief she couldn’t hear it hammering away in his ribcage. Breathing became a tad difficult. Suddenly, she touched his shoulder, a worried look on her face. “Hey, Alex. You okay? You’re looking a bit nauseated.” Okay, maybe it wasn’t his heart pounding, but his head. It probably had to do with a sleepless night. But he didn’t want to ruin the day for her, so he just grinned and shook his head. “Nah, I’m fine.” Although she was still looking suspicious, she pulled her hand away. Then rose from her seat to help her mom in bringing the breakfast to the table. She handed out the plates laden with pancakes. Alex had just dug into his batch when he remembered the maple syrup. He was about to get up but then Adam slid it towards him. He said his thanks and set about drizzling it on the pancakes. Scarlet nudged him with a grin. “Hungry?” Trying not to look too sheepish, he said, “Very.” “You won’t be able to breathe after you eat mom’s pancakes.” Scarlet’s mom mock scolded her. “Now, hush, Scarlet. Otherwise he won’t come anymore. And you know how you miss him.” Scarlet stilled and turned redder and redder. “What?” He asked, leaning forward. She just gave Adam a desperate ‘help me’ look. The colour was still on her cheeks. “Nothing.” Suddenly, it hit him. She liked him too! The thought was so funny that he almost choked on his pancakes. Again  Coughing, he took a sip of water to avoid looking her in the eye. She was not big on eye contact at that point. The rest of the breakfast passed in awkward silence. Finally, when he got up to wash his plate, Scarlet snatched it out of his hand and Adam got the same treatment. She picked up her mom’s plate and stacked the plates neatly. ”Thanks, honey.” Alex was so startled by that, that he started out of his chair and bumped into Scarlet who was carrying the plates to the dishwasher. “Sorry.um….” “Just sit down, Alex. Please.” Shoving the plates into the dishwasher, she stormed up the stairs to her room. He stared after her. “I don’t know what has gotten into her. Whatever it is, I don’t like it.” murmured Adam. “She’s probably tired or something.” Alex said. He wanted to follow her, but something told him that she would want to be alone for now. A few minutes later, he went up the stairs with Adam. He peeked inside but Scarlet was not there. ”She’s probably gone to bathe.” Adam supplied. “Good choice. She was real filthy.” “Look whose talking. You’re so filthy that I can’t even see your skin.” ,said a voice flatly from the hallway. He groaned softly, not loud enough to be heard, before turning. Scarlet had already bathed, brushed and changed into clean clothes. She was wearing an olive green tank top with camo pants and army boots which suited her well. Her dark, chocolate brown hair were pulled into a pony tail.

[flowerfan2]

Context Is Everything

Part 3 of the Group Texts Are Forever series

McDanno, T, A03

Summary:  After Steve is injured during his walkabout, Danny shows up in Seattle and for a moment, it seems like the boys are going to get their fairy tale ending, complete with a magical kiss.  But nothing is ever quite that easy.  Featuring Kono POV as well as Danny POV.                 

Chapter 1

August, 2020

CK:  Hey Danny, how’s it going?

DW:  Chin, did you finally join our group text?  Beware, my friend, it’s wild.

CK:  No, it’s just you and me, brah.

DW:  Can’t believe you said brah in a text.

CK:  You can take the boy out of Hawaii, but you can’t take Hawaii out of the boy.

DW:  If you say so.  You know you guys should visit more often.

CK:  Since you mention visiting, I wanted to see if you and Steve needed a place to stay after he gets out of the hospital.  Abby and I would love to have you.

DW:  Thanks, Chin.  Not sure of the plans, yet.  

CK:  How soon will they let Steve fly?  You guys just going straight back to Oahu?

DW:  I really don’t know.

CK:  Ok, well, keep me posted.  And give Steve a kiss for me.

CK:  Danny?

CK:  Sorry, did I overstep?  Kono implied it was common knowledge that you guys were together.  And I couldn’t be happier for you, to be clear.  You’re meant for each other.  In the best way.

DW:  You’re fine, Chin.  But I gotta go.  Sleeping beauty’s waking up, and he’s cranky.

 ****

 CK:  Cuz, you there?

 KK:  Howzit, Chin.  What’s up?

 CK:  Just wanted the update on Steve and Danny.

 KK:  Steve’s on the mend.  They’re keeping him for observation for another day or two.  And he might need another procedure on his eye.

 CK:  How’s Danny?

 KK:  Tired of the crappy food at the hospital, but okay I guess.

 CK:  I’m afraid I upset him.

 KK:  You?  How is that even possible?

 CK:  I told him to give Steve a kiss from me.  

 KK:  Oh.

 CK:  You told me they were together, Kono.  That everyone knew.  What’s going on?

 KK:  I’m not sure.  Steve’s had a rough few days.  I’ll talk to Danny.

 CK:  Let me know if I can help, ok?

 KK:  Always.

 *****

Kono meets Danny in the hospital cafeteria.  His face lights up when he sees that she’s brought a bag from a nearby café that’s known for its excellent coffee – although that’s not hard to find in Seattle.

 “Kono, you’re the absolute best,” Danny says with enthusiasm, taking the cup from her and sucking down a long sip of the iced vanilla latte.  Danny has always had a sweet tooth, whether he denies it or not.

 “There’s some food in there, too. Some kind of strawberry rhubarb thing I thought you’d like.”

 Danny wastes no time pulling the pastry out of the bag and taking a bite.  “Delicious.”  He sighs, leaning back in the stiff plastic chair.  “Honestly, Kono, thank you.”

 Kono doesn’t really think that coffee store pastries deserve quite this level of gratitude, but she gives Danny a quick hug around the shoulders anyway.  “You’re welcome, Danny.  How’s our patient doing today?”

 Danny shrugs.  “Kind of loopy.  He had trouble sleeping, so they gave him something to help, and it’s hasn’t really worn off yet.”

 Kono grins.  “Amusing?”

 “Unfortunately not.”

 Kono feels the grin slide off her face, and she waits for Danny to go on.

 “It’s not a big deal,” Danny says.

 If it wasn’t a big deal, Danny wouldn’t look so miserable, Kono thinks.  “It might help to talk about it,” she says softly.

 “I just…”  Danny taps his fingers against his thigh.  “I’m not sure I should have come.  I didn’t ask or anything.  He left on purpose.  What if he doesn’t want me here?”

 “Danny, why on earth would you think that?”

 “I dunno.”  Danny stands, abruptly, and sucks down the last bit of his iced coffee.  He’s clearly done talking for now.  “I should go back up.”

 “Want me to come with?”

 “No, I’m fine.”  Danny takes a step away from the table to toss his empty cup in the trash, then turns back to Kono and wraps her in a tight hug. “Thanks for being here,” he whispers into her ear, and Kono squeezes him back.

 “You’ll come back to my place tonight,” she says when they part, her hand still on Danny’s arm.  It’s not really a question.  Danny’s been at the hospital nonstop, and it would drain even the most determined of them.  “I’ll pick you up around seven?”

 “Yeah, okay.”  Danny gives her a small smile, and heads off towards the elevators.

 Damn it, Kono thinks.  Chin was right (he’s always right).  All is <i>not</i> well with Steve and Danny.

 *****

 Kono looks out through the kitchen window at Danny sitting on her back porch, the now familiar mountain view framing the sight.  Her little house is less than an hour away from Seattle’s bustle, but remote enough for some much-needed space at the end of a long day.  She wonders if Danny is feeling how different this place is from Honolulu.  For that matter, it’s a far cry from New Jersey, too.

 Kono liked it, at first, how the pine covered mountains were so clearly a world apart from palm trees and tropical shores.  She needed a change.  And when the novelty wore off, she had her work, which kept her engaged (some would say, she knows, obsessed) in a way she had never been before.

 It’s still her passion, this work, and she’s grateful for it.  She wonders if it will wear thin at some point, when the pain of the losses becomes too much to bear, even if she can help save others in the process.  It doesn’t seem like she’s putting much of a dent in the tragedy of sex trafficking, but at least for right now, she’s going to keep doing what she can.

 She’s not really sure what’s up with Steve, why he’s left the island and his ohana.  She can’t tell if he has simply grown bored with his job, or if there’s more to it.  She suspects the latter, and the sad detective on her back porch strongly supports her theory.

 For all that Steve looks banged up, Danny looks like he’s been through the wringer too.  She could swear he’s aged significantly more than the actual number of years since she’s seen him, the lines around his face deeper, his short hair hardly hanging on to any remnant of blond.  She knows Danny was injured back in the spring, just before Steve left Oahu, but that doesn’t seem to be what’s weighing him down.

 Kono grabs a quilt from the back of her couch and goes out to join Danny.  Danny’s sitting on a wooden swing, leaning over with his head in his hands. He looks up as she approaches.

 “Hey, Kono.”

 Kono sits next to him and drapes the quilt around them both.  It’s chilly here at night, and Danny’s just wearing a dark t-shirt and jeans.  He smiles at her, and runs his fingers over the quilt.  It’s green and white, in a traditional hibiscus pattern.  It used to lie on her bed, back in Hawaii, and it still reminds her of home.

 Kono scoots closer to Danny, and he leans against her side, letting his head rest on her shoulder.  She pushes her toes against the cool grass, just enough to start the swing rocking gently.  The moon is bright, turning everything a glittery silver.

 Danny doesn’t say anything, but he seems content, as they rock gently back and forth.

 After a while, Kono decides that if anyone is going to speak up, it’s going to be her, so she might as well. “It’s really good to see you, Danny. I missed you guys.”

 Danny nods against her arm. “Missed you too.”

 She breathes in deeply, then out again. Danny smells of hospital and stale sweat, there’s none of the island clinging to him at this point.  Fish out of water, just like her.

 “Anything I can do to help?”

 Danny fidgets, and then straightens up, the weight of his head lifting off her shoulder.  “Like I said.  I may have done the wrong thing, coming here.”

 Kono holds her tongue (it happens occasionally).  She couldn’t disagree more, but then again she hasn’t been home in a long time, hasn’t been part of Five-0, hasn’t seen Steve and Danny on a daily basis like she once had.  “Why do you say that?”  

 “Steve left for a reason.  He knew what he was doing.  I’m… interfering.”

 “Steve seemed pretty happy to see you.” This is an understatement – Steve was ridiculously happy to see Danny when he first appeared.  That kiss was spectacular, and plenty mutual.  The love-struck expression on Steve’s face could be seen from space.

 “Could have just been because of the pain meds.”

 “Do you really believe that?”

 Danny shrugs.  “I’m not as oblivious as some people think.”  He pokes his foot at the ground to get the swing rocking again, jiggles his knee up and down.  “We’ve got a pattern, me and Steve.  Steve gets into a jam, does something ridiculous, and I go and get him. It’s so familiar, there’s a rut in the dirt to show for it.  Doesn’t mean anything’s going to change.”

 “Change?”

 Danny glares at Kono, his creased brow clear as day in the moonlight.  “My after the fact rescues haven’t ever been rewarded with a make-out session before, no matter what drugs Steve was on.”

 “Danny,” Kono shifts, turning towards him.  He’s clearly miserable, and she can’t figure out why.  “Has he done something to upset you?  I thought you’d be, you know, happy about this.”

 Danny rubs a hand across his face. “I am, don’t you get it?  I want to be, so much, God, I really do.”

 Kono bumps her shoulder against Danny’s.  “It’s normal to be nervous about the start of a relationship.  Give it time, you guys will work it out.”

 “That’s the thing,” Danny says, letting his hand fall to his lap and catching Kono’s gaze.  “I’m not sure Steve wants to.”

 *****

 The next day, back at the hospital, Kono can see what Danny is talking about.  Steve is feeling much better, more like himself, grinning at the nurses and exuding confidence as he powers through some preliminary exercises to plan out his physical therapy needs (he’ll probably ignore all attempts at physical therapy later, but he’s playing nice with the staff now).  He brushes off the doctor’s hesitance when he talks about the potential damage to his eye, and cheerfully eats the red jello and tasteless chicken they bring him at lunch.

 But he hardly looks at Danny.

 Kono excuses herself for a few hours – there’s paperwork she still needs to do on their last op, and she has visits scheduled with several girls living in a group home nearby.  When she returns around dinnertime, she finds Danny waiting for her in the hospital lobby.

 “You can go up if you want,” Danny says.  “But I’m ready to go, if you just want to head home.”

 Kono stares at Danny for a minute, trying not to let her surprise show on her face.  “Are you sure?”

 Danny gives a sharp nod.  “Yeah.”

 They don’t talk much on the car ride back to Kono’s house.  At one point Danny shakes his head and looks over at her, a lost expression on his face. “I asked him if he wanted me to give him some space.  He said yes.”

 “Oh… so…” She’s at a loss, too. “Did he, um, elaborate?”

 Danny pressed his lips together. “He told me to come back tomorrow. He’s probably getting discharged. So I guess I’m allowed to be there for that.”

 “Danny…”

 “Don’t worry about it, Kono. It’s just Steve.  He gets pissy when he’s in the hospital.  He’ll mellow out.”

 But Danny doesn’t look like he believes his own words, and it is breaking Kono’s heart.

 ****

Steve is in fact discharged the next day.  Kono and Danny show up at the hospital just after lunch to find Steve sitting on the edge of his bed, dressed in the clothes Danny had brought him the day before, and raring to go.

 He smiles at them both, apparently having mellowed (as Danny predicted) with the news that he can leave the hospital, and Kono sees hope in Danny’s eyes.

 The car ride back is taxing. There’s traffic, and Steve is holding himself stiffly in the front seat, the movement of the car aggravating his injuries.  Danny’s sitting in the back behind Kono, doing his best to distract Steve with random bits of trivia about their friends back home.  Steve doesn’t respond much.  Finally Danny asks if Steve wants to take another pain pill, and Steve snaps out that he’s fine.  

 A few minutes later, however, Kono glances over and sees Steve grimacing, pale and sweaty, his head in his hands.  He’s clearly not fine.

 “Hey, Steve,” she says quietly.  “Want me to pull over for a minute?”  She had always thought Steve was joking about being susceptible to motion sickness, but the stop and go traffic would get on anyone’s nerves, even if they didn’t have a recent head injury.

 Steve’s got his lips pressed tightly together, and he gives a quick nod.  Kono is able to pull off on the shoulder a minute or so later, and by this time, Steve is breathing through his mouth and looking decidedly green.

 She rolls down the window on Steve’s side, but they’re still getting more fumes than fresh air.  Danny leans forward from the back seat, looking worried. Steve just continues to take long breaths, pressing his hands against his forehead.

 They sit in silence for a few uncomfortable minutes, the car shaking as the traffic speeds by them on the highway. Danny digs a water bottle out of his pack and hands it to Steve, who takes it and sips carefully.  

 “Want to try lying down in the back seat?”  Kono asks. “You might feel better if you got horizontal.”

 Steve apparently likes this suggestion, pushing the car door open and grabbing the back door before Kono even finishes her sentence.  Danny is glancing out his window, calculating whether he’s got enough space to open his door without getting run over, when Steve climbs into the back seat and stretches out, planting his head firmly on Danny’s lap.

 The look on Danny’s face is priceless. Kono can’t help smiling at him as Steve presses his face into Danny’s stomach.

 Danny slowly lowers his hands from where they had flown up into the air when Steve barreled into the car.  One hand lands on Steve’s shoulder, the other gently falls to his head.  Steve shivers, leaning into Danny’s touch.

 “It’s okay, babe,” Danny says, still disbelieving, as he cards his fingers through Steve’s short hair, careful of the strap holding Steve’s eye patch on.  “You’re all right.  Just relax, this is good, you’re good.” Steve clutches Danny’s side, Danny’s t-shirt bunching in Steve’s hand.  Danny rubs Steve’s back.  “We’re okay.”

 Kono smiles at the sight, and then turns around in her seat and pulls the car back onto the highway.  She doesn’t mind playing chauffeur one bit, not when things are so clearly heading in the right direction.

 Kono and Danny get Steve settled back in her spare room, where Steve was staying while they were working together. It seems like it’s been weeks since Steve showed up to help her take down the latest bad guy.  Steve announces that he’s not hungry and is just going to sleep, so they make sure he’s got a glass of water and his pain meds, and let him rest.  Danny hangs back for a moment, and Kono sees him lean down and brush a kiss against Steve’s cheek.  She can’t help letting out a sigh of relief.  

 Kono and Danny go through the motions of putting together dinner from leftover chicken and pasta, and retreat to the back porch again, this time with a six-pack of beer.  Danny finishes two as they chat aimlessly about how Grace is doing in college, Charlie’s developing skills at a pitcher in little league, and whether Lou’s niece is going to make the varsity basketball team this year.  Kono updates Danny on how her family back on Oahu is doing, and Danny asks polite questions about her father.

 “Do you ever think about coming back?” Danny asks, reaching down to place an empty bottle on the ground and open another.

 She knows he means to Oahu.  “Of course.”

 “Then why don’t you?”

 “My work is here.”

 “But…”  Kono can tell Danny is looking for a way to say this that isn’t too abrasive.  She’s not sure there is one.

 “You don’t even come to visit. Not for holidays, special occasions, anything.”

 Kono takes a sip of her beer. She can’t really deny it.

 “Is it because of Adam?  You wouldn’t have to see him.  We could keep him away from you, you know.  We’ve got skills.”  Danny quirks a grin at her, and Kono can’t help smiling back.

 “It’s not because of Adam, exactly.” She blows out a long breath. “It’s just easier to make a clean break from everything that happened there, that’s all.”

 Danny gets a quizzical look on his face, studying her carefully.  “Do you feel like you can’t come back?”

 Kono feels a wave of shame, something she thought she had come to terms with raising its ugly head again. <i>You ran away. Coward.  You left your family.</i>  Shaking her head, she squares her shoulders and turns to Danny. “My family was pretty hard on me, for a while, for leaving.  My father especially.  But I think they understand now.”

 She’s pretty sure they still hold it against her.  But they talk on the phone as if nothing is wrong, so at least some progress has been made.

 Danny leans back and rubs his chin with his hand.  “What if Steve is doing the same thing?”

 What, running away?  Kono thinks to herself.  Or feeling guilty?  “Is he?”

 “I don’t know.”

 “Danny…”  Kono lets out a long breath.  “I know why I did what I did, why I’ve been staying away.  Some good has definitely come of it.  But I’m not sure it was worth it.”  She might never know.

 “Wherever you go, there you are?” Danny asks, his half smile apologizing for the attempt at humor.

 “Maybe.”

 Danny fusses with the label on his beer bottle, until he gets it off with a satisfied tug.  “Isn’t home the place where they always have to take you in?”

 Kono smiles.  She’d like to think so, but… “Don’t they also say you can’t go home again?”

 Danny snorts.  “I studied economics, not English lit.”  He sighs, waving his hands, his empty beer bottle along for the ride.  “I just want Steve to be okay, whatever pearl of wisdom applies.”

 “Me too, Danny, me too.”