#uncorrect bob's burgers quotes

[incorrect-bobs-burgers]

Linda, drunk: Hey, Bobby, has anyone ever told you you look like Tom Cruise?

Bob, drunk: *giggling* No, I don't think they have.

Linda: *giggling* Yeah, that's fair.

Bob: You know, you kinda look like Tom Cruise.

Linda: Thank you?

Bob: He's hot.

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Louise, with a face mask on and rollers in her hair: *leaning out the window, to Bob* HEY! Do you have any idea what time it is? Get in the house, fatty!

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Linda, reading off her phone: Bobby, are you from Paris? Because ma-damn!

Bob: That doesn't work if I'm a guy

Linda, off the cuff: Fine. Are you from Paris? Because you mon-sure are fine as hell.

Bob: I- God that was smooth

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Bob, talking to the kids: A good romance starts with a good friendship.

Linda: And a bad romance starts with “ra ra ah ah ah. ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la”

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Gene: MOM COME LOOK AT THE LOBSTER

Linda: Sweetie that's a ferret

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Louise: What's your biggest fear?

Tina: Being alone

Louise: [getting a tarantula out of a box] Guess again, idiot

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Linda: I don't give a fuck if there is a microchip in the vaccine. They could put a whole iPod Nano inside me if it meant I was allowed to get drunk at Olive Garden again

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Linda: For my second date with Bob, we met in the city and went to a party and ended up at a restaurant at 3:00 AM where he reached across the table, grabbed my hands, looked at me adoringly, and said, “I hate this. I wanted to go to bed at 9:00. Do not expect this of me again.”

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Bob, in bed and drunk: You know, the only reason I feel the need to constantly assert that I'm the sexiest person in any room I'm in isn't because I'm self absorbed. It's really just that fake hyper-confidence is really my only coping mechanism for my overwhelming insecurities and childhood trauma.

Linda, who knows he's full of shit: [pulling the comforter over her head] Go the fuck to sleep, Bobby

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Bob, a little drunk: Guy Fieri's spiky hair might seem weird at first, until you realize it's his natural defense against getting ratatouilled in the kitchen

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Bob: I'm trying to stop the bisexual blue-screen going on in my head, Linda, please let me have this

Linda: Alright, Bobby

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Louise, to Gene: I will peel you like string cheese!

Linda: Louise!

Louise: What?

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Louise: Did you ever try to break your arm so you could get a cast?

Bob: Yes... Why? Did you actually do it?

Louise: No, but I sprained my wrist.

Bob: Of course you did.

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Louise: I found a caterpillar. It's not poisonous.

Bob: How do you know

Louise: I licked it

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Louise: Why be mad? Why be sad? When you could be... Glad. *Sprays Tina with air freshener*

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Tina: Can we stay up all night watching YouTube?

Bob: Sure. Just sign this waiver first.

Gene: What does it say?

Bob: If you grow up dysfunctional its not my fault

Louise: Nice try. You're still getting blamed in therapy