#unchecked sibling rivalry

[ohchosen]

this gif always makes me giggle bc that was so personal

[yanderes-galore]

Me again, back for them tasty Halo RVB requests. I know they didn’t have a whole lot of screen time, but would you be willing to do a North vs South Dakota concept? Sibling rivalries mixed with high stress work environments always turn out great.

-📸 Anon

Oh boy... here you go, lol.

Yandere! North vs South Dakota

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Violence, Forced companionship/relationship.

I covered South before, so if you've seen the South concept then you know she can be such a brat and problem child due to her inferiority/superiority complex.

She hates to share and hates the idea of being in her brother's shadow.

North I haven't covered on here but he is the opposite of his sister.

He's much more kind and nurturing, protective and caring.

He is certainly the Freelancer deserving of the AI Theta.

North no doubt makes South's obsession worse.

Her brother is, of course, much more appealing than her.

Which would naturally make you gravitate towards him.

Which drives her insane.

She hates being less favored and is competitive to the point of volatility.

The moment she realizes North has an interest in you?

Mental. Breakdown.

Just because they're siblings does not mean South will go easy on North.

She feels she deserves one good thing in her life, at least.

Which means North is suddenly bombarded by South screaming at him or trying to harm him.

North being yandere would increase South's demanding nature.

She now takes up so much of your time.

She's more moody and probably emotionally manipulates/hurts you more.

She can't vent her frustration properly.

South may even try to use her obsession to prove she's better than her brother in this rivalry.

Meanwhile there's North... he sees how South treats you.

She teases you, bullies you, is incredibly possessive of you.

It hurts his heart.

He loves his sister but you can't just be treated like that.

North is calm and compassionate to you.

He often acts parental at times and is a shoulder to cry on.

He understands his sister desperately wants you...

But you clearly aren't happy with her.

So, he steps in to ease your anxiety and protect you.

He drifts apart from his sister since he doesn't like her behavior.

All of this drives South to the brink.

Of course! Of course her brother has to steal her victory again.

Why? Doesn't he have everything?

He's stronger, he has an AI, at this point he may have you.

Such a thought makes her think of drastic measures.

The two end up getting into not only verbal fights, but physical ones.

The stress from being a Freelancer and their personal connections make them hate each other.

It takes a lot to make North hate someone.

Especially his sister.

But you mean a lot... to both of them.

If left unchecked they may just murder each other.

Considering North's fate in canon, South may just get the last laugh anyways.

Their rivalry ruins their synergy, it makes their performance fall.

But who cares at this point?

Both of them will end up wanting you in the end.

If it means they get you in the end... they'll fight.

They may even kill.

Their rivalry is very destructive in nature.

They aren't siblings anymore... they're enemies... which means one of them has to go, one way or another.

[drbarbosa]

Jealousy is a powerful emotion that, when left unchecked, can create dysfunction in relationships, careers, education, finances, and overall well-being. Whether it manifests in a romantic relationship, friendship, family dynamic, or workplace, jealousy can lead to toxic behaviors that negatively impact all aspects of life. Some individuals suffer from jealousy due to insecurity or comparison, while others deliberately create jealousy as a means of control and manipulation. Understanding these dynamics is essential in identifying the destructive consequences of jealousy and finding ways to foster healthier relationships and environments. Dysfunctional Relationships Rooted in Jealousy 1. Romantic Relationships: The Destructive Cycle of Control and Distrust In many marriages and romantic partnerships, jealousy can manifest as excessive possessiveness, suspicion, and even emotional or physical abuse. For example, a husband who constantly questions his wife’s loyalty, monitors her phone, or isolates her from friends and family due to unfounded fears of infidelity is exhibiting jealousy-driven control. This behavior creates an unhealthy dynamic where trust erodes, emotional security disappears, and resentment builds. On the other hand, some individuals deliberately spark jealousy as a form of self-validation or control. A wife who intentionally flirts with other men in front of her husband to make him jealous enjoys the emotional power it gives her. This manipulation forces her husband into a defensive or insecure position, making him emotionally dependent on her for reassurance. Such toxic behaviors can lead to breakups, infidelity, or even domestic violence. 2. Friendships: Competition and Envy Leading to Betrayal Jealousy between friends often stems from comparison, feelings of inadequacy, or a fear of being replaced. A common example is when one friend becomes successful in their career or personal life, while the other struggles. Instead of celebrating their friend’s achievements, the envious individual may become distant, gossip behind their back, or undermine their accomplishments. An extreme example of jealousy-driven dysfunction in friendships is seen in individuals who actively sabotage their friends. A woman who envies her best friend’s happy relationship may spread false rumors to cause friction between the couple. Alternatively, a jealous friend may deliberately downplay their friend’s success in an attempt to feel superior. Over time, these toxic interactions lead to broken friendships and deep emotional wounds. 3. Workplace and Career: Sabotage, Insecurity, and Toxic Work Environments Jealousy in professional settings often leads to sabotage, unethical competition, and a hostile work environment. An employee who is jealous of a colleague’s promotion may engage in workplace gossip, spread misinformation, or attempt to undermine their rival’s success. This behavior not only damages personal relationships but also disrupts workplace productivity and trust. For instance, a manager who feels threatened by a highly competent subordinate may withhold career opportunities, refuse to provide mentorship, or take credit for their work. This toxic jealousy-driven leadership discourages employees, creates resentment, and hinders professional growth. Over time, such work environments breed dissatisfaction, high turnover rates, and decreased organizational success. 4. Family Dynamics: Sibling Rivalry and Parental Favoritism Jealousy between siblings is a common dysfunction in many families. If one sibling feels overshadowed by another due to academic success, career achievements, or parental favoritism, this can lead to deep-seated resentment. Some parents unintentionally foster jealousy by comparing their children, creating an environment where one child feels inferior and unloved. For example, a younger brother who constantly hears praise for his older sibling’s achievements may develop a sense of inadequacy, leading to rebellion, low self-esteem, or a strained relationship with the favored sibling. In extreme cases, jealousy can lead to lifelong family estrangement, where siblings cut ties due to unresolved emotional wounds. 5. Education: Jealousy Affecting Academic Performance and Self-Worth In academic settings, jealousy can influence both students and educators. A student who constantly compares themselves to a high-achieving classmate may feel discouraged and develop academic anxiety, leading to poor performance. Instead of focusing on personal growth, they become consumed by envy, which prevents them from reaching their full potential. Additionally, jealousy among teachers or professors can create biased learning environments. For instance, a professor who feels threatened by a particularly talented student may intentionally downplay their abilities or refuse to acknowledge their efforts. Such actions discourage students and prevent them from receiving the recognition and opportunities they deserve. The Impact of Jealousy on Mental and Physical Health Jealousy has significant consequences for mental well-being, often leading to stress, anxiety, depression, and paranoia. Individuals consumed by jealousy may suffer from constant worry, self-doubt, and an inability to enjoy their achievements. Physically, jealousy can lead to severe health problems. Chronic stress from jealousy-driven competition, insecurity, or relational strife can weaken the immune system, increase blood pressure, and contribute to conditions such as migraines, ulcers, or even heart disease. The mental distress associated with jealousy can also lead to destructive coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, overeating, or self-harm. A person who is jealous of their partner’s attention toward others may experience obsessive thoughts, leading to sleepless nights, headaches, and digestive issues. Over time, such chronic stress can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and even suicidal thoughts in extreme cases. Financial Consequences of Jealousy Jealousy-driven financial decisions can be equally destructive. A person who constantly compares their wealth, possessions, or status to others may make impulsive financial decisions in an attempt to "keep up." This behavior is particularly evident in social media-driven consumer culture, where people feel pressured to match the lifestyles of influencers or wealthier peers. For example, a husband who feels insecure about his financial standing compared to his wealthier friends may overspend on luxury items to project an illusion of success. This type of financial mismanagement often leads to debt, strained marriages, and long-term economic instability. Jealousy in financial partnerships can also lead to unethical behavior. Business partners who envy each other’s financial success may engage in deceitful practices, embezzlement, or financial sabotage, ultimately leading to legal consequences and business failure. How to Overcome Jealousy and Foster Healthy Relationships To break free from the toxic cycle of jealousy, individuals must focus on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and personal growth. Here are a few key steps to overcoming jealousy: - Self-Reflection: Identify the root cause of jealousy and address any underlying insecurities. - Open Communication: In relationships, honesty about feelings can prevent misunderstandings and build trust. - Celebrate Others’ Success: Learning to genuinely rejoice in others’ achievements fosters a mindset of abundance rather than competition. - Practice Gratitude: Focusing on personal strengths and blessings helps reduce feelings of envy. - Therapy and Counseling: Seeking professional guidance can help individuals manage jealousy, especially when it stems from deep-seated emotional wounds. - Faith and Spiritual Growth: Biblical teachings emphasize love, humility, and contentment. Understanding that jealousy is a destructive force can motivate individuals to cultivate a heart free from envy. Conclusion Coming Soon an Amazon: Dr. Maria Pinto Barbosa's book, "Get Up and Go Holistic Therapy," provides powerful tools to help individuals work through and eliminate various forms of emotional pain, traumas and negative feelings. Rooted in a holistic approach, this book offers practical techniques for identifying and releasing deep-seated emotional wounds, fostering healing, and cultivating a more balanced and fulfilling life. Through guided exercises, self-reflection strategies, and faith-based insights, readers gain the knowledge and confidence to overcome past traumas, break free from limiting beliefs, and embrace emotional well-being with renewed strength and purpose. Dr. Barbosa provides services to client in Portuguese, English and Spanish.  for an appointment -https://drmariabarbosa.com/palm-coast-holistic-therapy/ or text to WhatsApp (386)206-6325 Read the full article

[aviiarie]

thinking about how any sibling of satoru gojo would automatically have some huge issues with their relationship to their brother. like... this isn't sibling rivalry, rivalry implies competition and there isn't any competition to be had; he is more than they can ever hope to be, and no matter how hard they work they will never achieve more than second best. they're the shadow, the lesser, the one who had the miserable fate of being average next to a prodigy. growing up with that would definitely cause them issues. it's not his fault, they know that, but they can't help but hate him a little for being the way he was. envy left unchecked can tear people apart from the inside out, and so that's exactly what it did.

idk i just feel like there's unused angst potential there.

[beifong-brainrot]

Wasn't sure if I wanted to respond to this, but people seem to have taken this post to the absolute extreme and made a lot of assumptions on my opinions of Lin.

Sweetie, I never said that Lin wasn't a complex character. In fact, I was pointing out potential nuance in Lin and Suyin's relationship. It rubs me the wrong way that Lin is forced into this weak, helpless victim role in her relationships with Su and Toph. She is a victim, yes. She's been hurt. As I've acknowledged multiple times. However there is more to her character and relationships.

While Toph was never seen parenting, Lin's acts of parenting are highly questionable as well. What you could interpret as parenting, I would interpret as a sibling in a rivalry being overly nitpicky to prove a point.

I can see how you came to this conclusion, however understand that you are still making assumptions. I speak on this as a parentified child myself, something that still heavily affects me to this day. Your assumption has little basis in canon, and the main groundwork for it is that it happens commonly irl. Lin certainly doesn't express care for Suyin's emotional well-being.

I also never said that Lin 'owes her family forgiveness'. I don't think she does! However, she owes herself healing. This doesn't have to include forgiving Su and Toph. But it is very obvious that Lin has been holding onto her grudge. She hasn't matured veey much, hasn't learnt to deal with her hurt.

So when she's around things that trigger her, like Suyin, adverse effects surface. Painful flashbacks, but also an increased aggression.

Around Suyin, Lin seems to revert to being a very infantile and petty person. Which is understandable if you conclude that she never moved past a certain point in her life.

Suyin :Oh, she's horrible. She thinks she can just do whatever she wants. Lin: Sounds familiar. Suyin :What? Lin: Nothing.

This is behaviour one would expect out an angry teenager, not a 50 or so year old woman.

Listen. I've been scarred by a close family member. 1/3 of me is scar tissue. I've been there. You can only hold onto your hurt for so long. You don't owe anyone forgivness but you need to heal. For yourself. Also it's not an excuse for being a dickhead to those around you. That's it projection time over. Though I will say it disgusts me how people talk about the scarring.

I re read the episode transcript and it appears that Lin never actually did apologise to Suyin for attacking her. Huh. Odd how Lin is always the one making a verbal altercation physical but that's a convo for another day. The closest thing I can find is this:

Lin: Whoa! Slow it down. How about for now, I just promise not to show up at your house and attack you again?

After this, you could say that Lin was trying to rebuild her relationship with Suyin. However, the verbal attacks don't stop. Lin goes so far as to insinuate that Suyin let a bunch of terrorists into the city and aided in a kidnapping, despite a mountain of evidence pointing to the contrary, including Suyin saving Lin's life twice. Insinuate is actually a very weak word. She outright accused Su of this.

Per usual, Suyin takes this in stride, as she often does with personal attacks Lin levwls at her person. She placates Lin by allowing herself to be questioned.

Lin: Maybe it wasn't a guard after all. Maybe it was someone a little higher up the food chain. Aiwei, why don't you question Su? Korra: Lin, stop! Your sister was not involved! Suyin :No, [Walks over to the chair.] I'll gladly be questioned. I have nothing to hide. [Sits down.]

With this, I don't find it that surprising that Suyin lied to Lin. During he rshort time in Zaofu, Lin had managed to turn almost every single conversation with Su into a fucking argument. Imagine the fallout if Su actually disagreed with her, instead of letting Lin rage unchecked as she usually does.

And. Jay. Dearest. I never called Lin "cold hearted" or "uncaring" . I'd actually wager that Lin has quite high empathy. It's not uncommon for people with very high empathy to try and "shut off" themselves. Because it can be very painful to feel your own emotions as well as those of others.

Also, there is a world of difference between saving someone's physical life and handling other people's emotions. Lin cares. But she doesn't think about how her outbursts and aggressive words can hurt others.

This does not change her treatment of other people. I think Lin is extremely immature and emotionally constipated, both of these things stemming from her difficult childhood and young adulthood.

I adore Lin's complicated backstory. I adore her flaws. It is because I adore all these aspects of her character that I made this post. Because Lin's complexities become lost in the fandom's obsession with making Su and Lin's situation so black and white. Su is not a 1 to 1 villain. Lin is not a 1 to 1 victim.

Also. I never said that Lin should forgive Su and Toph because of their family ties.

Suyin's victimhood gets erased by the fandom a lot. Her trauma forgotten. I cannot overstate the amount of dogshit "Suyin is the villain of Lin's (or Kuvira's) life" style takes I've seen.

Lin's victimhood is embraced by the fandom. Like. Lin stans are rabid. (I love most of you guys. But good god some of you scare me).

Also, if I had to go into an in depth explanation of Lin's past traumas due to he upbringing (complete with other people's assumptions and headcanons about the character, apparently) evertime I simply pointed out a pattern in the transcripts, I think my fingers would fall off lol.

Suyin and Lin aren't "just as much to blame" as Toph, however. Toph was the parent. She was responsible for them and she fell incredibly short. She failed as a parent (and I love that for her.)

I'm honestly shocked that this post ended up with this many ardent reponses. Like. I was just pointing out a pattern.

Lin almost always being incredibly hostile with Suyin (even before the scarring, as the flashbacks in old wounds show us). Suyin taking on a placating role/ "rolling with the punches" attitude with Lin, even when they're adults and haven't seen each other in years. Suyin finally responding to Lin's insults with one of her own and immediately getting physically attacked.

Next time Suyin disagrees with Lin, even after they've supposedly made up, she lies to Lin to keep the peace. And goes behind her back because that is 'safer' than speaking her mind.

Lin's hurt towards Su is justified, but I find it interesting how Suyin never felt safe around Lin.

[starspatter]

TimSteph :>

DCAU only:Who is the fussy eater: Tim, although it’s more that he can’t eat sweets - especially pie - since it makes him sick due to clown phobia, as it reminds him of Harley’s “force-feeding” attempts (who’s a horrible cook btw).

Who is most likely to punch the other person’s sibling: Steph wouldn’t do that to Dick or Babs since she gets along with them fine, but she’d probably punch/slap Bruce if given the chance.

Who wants to go to Disneyland: Steph, but Tim would pass since he’s not big on the whole “amusement park” thing anymore.  He’ll go to keep the kids company but mostly stay at the hotel/off the rides and just watch them having fun, privately wishing they could remain this happy and innocent forever.

Who hates public transport: Tim doesn’t drive since he doesn’t really trust himself to take the wheel, but public transport has its drawbacks too as he’ll sometimes see Jokerz menacing other passengers (like in the first Batman Beyond episode), and it’s all he can do to just try to ignore it and pray they don’t target him (since it wouldn’t end well for either party).

Who gets arrested: Tim - especially as a teen when he has a lot of unchecked aggression and falls into some more… “unsavory” habits trying to self-medicate his depression/mental issues.

Who is great with kids: Both, surprisingly.  While Tim is terrified of being a father (due to his own terrible track record with them), he turns out to be a really great dad and loves his children (if acts a little overprotective of them).

Who ends up covered in glitter as a prank: Conner, actually.  Tim doesn’t deal well with pranks since he doesn’t like surprises (which Steph learned the hard way the first time), so Kon (and sometimes Dick) basically becomes her butt-monkey instead.  The two pretty much plot to try and one-up each other whenever they get a chance, and will try to persuade Cass to partner with them but she mostly stays out of the rivalry along with Tim.

Who has a weird coffee order: Steph, although Tim drinks a lot more of it on a regular daily basis.

Who gets up before 6am to exercise: Tim, but rather he rarely goes to sleep due to insomnia/nightmares.

Who hogs the netflix account: Steph.  Tim doesn’t watch a lot of television, other than the shows she screens for him and deems safe for them to watch together.  (Although somehow I get the feeling Bojack Horseman would be one of his favorites, or at least he’d find it all too relatable…)

Who knows all the lyrics to super horrendous bubbly pop songs: Steph, and she’ll sing them with her own piano accompaniment.

Who proposes: Tim, in a spur-of-the-moment decision when Steph finds out his secrets and still accepts him for it.

Who does petty shit when they’re annoyed: Tim, although usually he just sulks if it’s something minor, and Steph has to very patiently coax him to get him to tell her what’s wrong.

Who would take on stupid ridiculous dares: Used to be Tim, definitely not the case anymore.

Who can’t sing but always does anyway: I don’t think either of them necessarily has a bad voice, but Tim definitely doesn’t like to sing in public.  He’ll only do it quietly if they’re alone and Steph convinces him to.

Who screams at someone in public for making bigoted comments: Steph; much as Tim might also disagree, he doesn’t like to make a scene that would draw attention to himself.

Who freaks out about spiders: Steph.  Tim’s not bothered by them (besides he’s seen way scarier), but he’ll catch and release at her request to get rid of one rather than kill it, since he refuses to take another life, even one as small a spider’s.

[gaycey-sketchit]

(Gary anon) Not just for the family itself, but everyone else too. We know all too well about how certain behaviors going unchecked can lead to a lot of people getting hurt later. (And being exposed to a lot of good adults, also helps in identifying unsafe ones. Not just for the kids, but other adults too) Well, looking after a kid is one thing. RAISING one is another; no matter how prepared you think you are, kids can throw you for a loop at anytime. For some people, there's a charm to it.

(Part 2) (Along with being some of the most wholesome moments, siblings just being sheer chaos with each other contains some of the funniest content in media) Well, that's pretty much the norm in this franchise when it comes to rivals. xD (With them trying to do all these cameos, it'd be a bit shocking if they didn't try to the most prolific characters in Ash's life in one spot/image) Especially with his current objective is his largest one to date.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's really important for kids to have adults in their life they can trust for a lot of reasons.

Absolutely--it's a lot of pressure, having a tiny person completely dependent on you. Babies are so fragile and then they get older and more complicated, raising a kid and raising them right seems like a puzzle that gets harder every day. And if you mess up enough you've scarred someone for life. It's so scary. How does anyone feel like they can do it.

Yeah, it's great. I love when siblings in fiction have these powerful ride-or-die bonds, but their closeness also shows in how easily they can be silly and chaotic together.

True, true. Something something the almost inherent romance of rivalries.

Oh, absolutely. Sometimes it really hits me how important they are to each other.

[lumifuer]

Symphony Of An Empty Stomach

Pairings: David 8 x Reader, Walter x Reader Words: 881 Warnings: Fluff! Request (by @brooklynalpha ): “So I was thinking that David and Walter fight for the reader feelings, like spending more time or trying to impress her, that kind or things, it could be funny. And At the end it could be whatever, she can choose one of them or no one 😂 “ Summary:There's a bit of rivalry between Walter and David once they both become very close to each other and the reader is right in the middle of it.  A/N: Requested! I'm not a big fan of love triangles and such so instead, I tried to make it as fun and light hearted as possible. Hope you enjoy! 

I woke up to the mouthwatering smell of warm, homemade, buttery pancakes. I opened my eyes immediately, feeling my stomach aching with anticipation. I haven't had anything other than microwaved fake food for over two months.

Walter was leaning over my bed with the proudest smile on his face.

"It's not my birthday, is it?" I asked, yawning mid-sentence.

"No, it is not," Walter replied and placed the breakfast tray on my knees, "but I thought it would be nice to feed you something healthier."

I squeezed my eyes at him.

"Can you both stop already?"

"I'm afraid I do not understand."

I sighed and sat on the mattress, stretching my back.

"This whole competition of yours. David is not your opponent, you know that?"

He handed me the cutlery and poured some tea into my cup.

I had to admit, this silly games they were playing could get tiring but if I were to pick a winning contestant right there and then it would've been Walter. I fell full just looking at the plate, it had a perfect shade of gold and syrup cascading on every side making a tiny pool circling the whole meal.

"It hardly does you any harm," he pointed out and I couldn't help but laugh. He was right.

"But I don't like you arguing. He's like your brother, you know."

"I am not the one who started all this," he explained.

"Oh yeah, you're definitely siblings," I chuckled.

I cut off a piece of the pancake and put it in my mouth. Considering the amount of golden liquid dripping off the side, it was rather subtle and adequately sweet. I closed my eyes and gave up to the sensation. It must have been the best thing I've eaten in my life, no question.

"How do you like it?" he asked.

"It's flawless, Walter," I exclaimed, "you should take being a professional chef under consideration."

He smiled and I could swear I saw a spark in his eyes.

"Still," I pointed the fork at him, "I am not endorsing the rivalry you have."

"I will keep that in mind."

I finished the breakfast he made for me and got out of bed. I had to take a quick shower, given I was already running pretty late. I came out of the bathroom to a neatly folded clothes laying on my sheets but no Walter around.

He was probably needed somewhere else, I thought to myself and shrugged.

I put on the uniform and left my quarters, hoping that captain will forgive me this time.

"Good morning, Y/N," I heard David's voice behind my back, "your presence is not required on the platform right now, everything seems to be working fine."

"Oh, good, hello, David. Have you been busy this morning? You usually stop by."

I slowed down and waited for him to catch up with me. As usual, he offered a quick hug, just another human thing that he really enjoyed doing.

"I would, but I wanted to provide some additional hours of sleep to you, so I checked the floor for you."

"Well isn't it nice of you," I teased, tilting my head.

"I am very nice in general, indeed."

"I don't doubt it but I supposed Walter could."

He glanced at me with innocent eyes, "I truly have no clue what do you mean by that."

"I had that conversation with him this morning. You're not enemies."

"It would have been hard being enemies with an individual who cannot think for themself."

"David!" I gently pushed him and he laughed, almost unphased by an amount of strength I put into this action, "He's my friend and you know how I feel about you."

In return, he playfully pulled me into his arms and locked me in a tight embrace, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"David, I have things to do, you know?" I reminded him, trying to free myself, but it was almost impossible.

"No, you do not, I have taken care of them for you. I already told you."

"Well, my job isn't just checking on the systems in the morning."

"I do remember. I have already done most of your chores. Those requiring your physical presence are still unchecked but I believe I can lend you a hand with them, too," he offered. The smile on his lips prevented me from further complaining. I rolled my eyes and let myself relax in his arms for a minute or two before pulling away with a heavy sigh.

"So, what's next on my list?"

"Music room," he declared proudly, "I was able to compose a new piece overnight. I would like you to share some honest thoughts about it."

"How can I say no to that?"

"You cannot. Since I am the one able to create things and not just reproduce them-"

"Okay, stop that. I'm being serious."

Despite my declaration, I was having a hard time hiding my amusement. David didn't make another remark that must have been on the tip of his tongue already and instead interlocked his fingers with mine and walked to the music room. Pancakes might have been the way to the heart through the stomach but David's symphonies were perfectly harmonious with mine.

Tagging: @brooklynalpha (thank you for the request!)

[anyroads]

The USA still has an incredibly puritan culture and it radiates out in bizarre ways. Add onto that decades of bad movies and sitcoms that depict siblings as catty and always fighting purely to get some one liners and zingers in, and you have this wider cultural perception that siblings aren’t supposed to get along.

Here’s the thing, though. Not only does the idea of “siblings aren’t supposed to like each other” go against the warm and loving nature of many existing relationships, it also gives an excuse to abusers. The number of times I was told, “siblings fight” “sibling rivalry is natural” “siblings never get along” and the number of years that attitude whitewashed deeply problematic behavior that went unchecked is staggering. Abusers are always people close to their victims. “Siblings aren’t supposed to like each other” is giving them a cover on a silver platter.

Not to mention that it’s just a ridiculous concept. If you get along with your siblings, screw whatever anyone else says. Appreciate that relationship. It’s invaluable.

okay, the whole “silly writers, siblings aren’t supposed to actually like each other” thing was always annoying, but it has now morphed into actual real-life people telling me and my actual real-life sibling that our relationship is weird and creepy because we enjoy spending time together and aren’t constantly at each other’s throats, so if we could all collectively stop pretending that siblings are only capable of being cruel to each other, and that any depiction otherwise is unrealistic, that would be great, thanks

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

Hey there!! I was wondering if you could help - my story features twin sisters. I know that one of them kills the other, and I know that this is a crucial part of the story. What I don't know is the motive for the murder itself. It sounds silly to not know, but I just can't think. Do you have any ideas on what it would take to drive someone to kill their own twin? If not, it's fine!! Thanks so much x

This is actually a great and thought-provoking question, and it’s not because I think of murder more than I probably should.

The first is jealousy.  

The first twin, who I’ll call Twin A, could be the higher achieving and “favorite” twin.  Perhaps Twin B, the murdering twin, is bullied by her parents.  Perhaps Twin A enjoys being the favorite and joins in.

This could lead to a buildup of unchecked resentment and anger that eventually explodes.  

The next, obviously, is monetary gain:  perhaps Twin A is more successful than Twin B, and Twin B falls into some hard times and approaches her for help.  Twin A refuses, so Twin B kills her, and either collects her inheritance as her closest blood relative or collects it by impersonating her. 

Finally, you have the usual drama, such as Twin A stealing Twin B’s partner and whatnot.  I still say it’s all the more interesting if favoritism and sibling rivalry plays into it.

Either way, this could be super interesting, so I hope this provides some inspiration.  

Best of luck, and happy writing! <3 

[lassluna]

Freeing the Witch (8/20)

Betad by the talented @notoriouscs. 

Once Upon a Time, there was Emma Swan the Savior and Killian Jones the fearsome pirate Captain Hook. But this is not that time, this is not that place, this is the time of the Dark Swan and a cowardly Deckhand who dares to think he could save her and live to tell the tale…Especially when things get complicated.

ffn Ao3

Chapter 8

The Trap

They’re trudging through snow. It’s cold on her feet, and the flakes that have just started falling stick to her skin. Her boots are soaked, and she’s in the worst mood possible. Emma doesn’t understand how anyone could want to be around this stuff ever, let alone live in it all the time. She’d prefer a grassy meadow or a stone tavern any day.

“Look Ems! It’s snowing! Isn’t it simply divine?” Elsa says gleefully, practically skipping, and singing.

I don’t care about our plan. If she starts singing, I’m going to show her what happens to frozen things in summer, Emma vows, eyeing the witch carefully.

Elsa winks back, obviously knowing that she’s getting to Emma.

The snow is agonizing enough. Emma forgot just how giddy Elsa gets when she’s in her element, literally. It’s disgusting. But it does remind her of her first meeting with the young queen, a memory that felt like a lifetime ago.

Emma had just run away from her mother, lost and alone in the world. She thought she would always be stuck on the run, hiding from Queen Snow’s men.But then Ingrid found her and changed everything. Ingrid was filled with light and happiness who comforted a runaway sorceress when she had nothing. It was the same magical day that Elsa, still in her coronation attire, eyes brimming with tears, found Ingrid and Emma. Everything changed for two scared, powerful young women on the same day.

“I hate the snow,” Emma snaps back to the present. “And you. How far is this prison anyway?” It didn’t seem so far on Killian’s map. She can cross realms without breaking a sweat, but she can’t stand this snow for a moment longer.

Elsa stops, tapping her cheek in thought. “Another hour’s walk?” she guesses. “Is that too much for you?”

“Nope,” Emma replies, popping the p, suppressing her desire to start an argument. They can’t do that. It isn’t a part of the plan. Fighting would get in the way of the show they need to put on, and if there is anything they excel at, it’s putting on a good show.

When they first met, their interactions were civil, behavior that was drilled into both of them growing up as princesses in their own castles.They were both dirty little secrets.

The years of hostility from those supposed to love them and the constant emphasis on being in control, showing no emotion, had nearly driven them mad. They were raised as weapons, to one day be unleashed as their kingdoms’ personal attack dogs under the control of their vindictive parents, yet still required to maintain the façade of innocent princesses dispute the curses inflicted upon them.

 Who knew hating your parents could make you such close friends, but close they were. Emma and Elsa were like sisters.

Ingrid, Emma and Elsa were a family. They had been happy.

Elsa stops for a second, eyeing Emma carefully. Emma gives a small nod in agreement; she sensed their presence as well. If they stop, the plan is ruined, so they press on, both feigning ignorance of the forces watching them. It’s only a matter of time before they make their move. Armies tend not to be the most patient creatures.

It is starting.

“Hold it, villain!” cries a voice. Emma and Elsa stop, magic at the ready as if surprised by the small group of guards who quickly surround them, brandishing swords.

Emma smiles at the thought that those metal twigs could harm her. She is the Dark One, and soon, they’ll know what that means.

“You are in Arendelle. Magical beings like you are strictly forbidden,” says someone, a guard Emma assumes. but his armour looks decorated strangely. She looked over at Elsa.

A guard? She silently asks.

Elsa nods at her before looking back at the group. She steps forward, keeping her back straight as an arrow. “I am Elsa, eldest daughter of Queen Gerda and rightful heir to the kingdom,” she announces in that princess voice that was instilled in both her and Emma since childhood, a voice they would always have in their arsenals whether they liked it or not. “I command thee to lay down your weapons.”

It’s a noble effort, but one they both knew was doomed to fail. Elsa wasn’t the rightful heir in the eyes of the people, not since Ingrid took her away from the castle, away from everything.

Ingrid drove the first wedge when she started talking about light magic and forgiving  those who had wronged them. Emma didn’t want to forgive her mother, whom she believed never truly loved her. But Ingrid insisted that because Snow had magic, she could join their family.

She tried no such argument with Elsa’s sister who had long proven her inability to accept what she did not understand.

Ingrid saw the world as us against them. She hated non-magic users, and she believed that possessing magic was enough to bond people together. She thought that with a little love and compassion, Queen Snow could be reformed, that the four of them could be a family.

Emma didn’t take it very well, constantly arguing with Ingrid, who just didn’t understand that Emma’s mother was beyond rehabilitation. The unfeeling monarch who manipulated her own daughter into becoming a monster didn’t want or deserve Emma’s forgiveness.  But Ingrid refused to listen.

Elsa, on the other hand, kept insisting that not all mortals were bad. Emma always caught her staring off into the distance, waiting for something, or maybe someone, to appear in the distance. Emma was sure to it was non-magical, for why else would Elsa keep it a secret? Whenever Emma questioned her, the almost-queen would smile softly.

“He made me a promise,” she said, and that was that.

“Our king is Hans,” the lead guard says sharply, bringing Emma back to the present. “You, witch, are an enemy of this kingdom.” Elsa isn’t fazed by his assertion. She’s heard it many times before.

Suddenly there are guards upon them, swiping at them mercilessly with their weapons, aiming to kill, not capture.

The sorceresses reply just as fiercely. After so much time in the close quarters of the ship, they desperately need the release of tension, the release of the darkness gripping their hearts, the release that these foolish guards seem oh so eager to give them.

It would be so easy to just kill them all with a single wave of her wrist, burying them in the snow, watching as they struggle for breath, as the life slowly drains from their bodies. Such a sight would fill Emma with glee, but then more will come. And when she dispatches those, then the magical prisoners under Hans’ control will be summoned to deal with them. No, Emma can’t have that. She needs to be underestimated, to be overlooked as a real threat.

So she doesn’t allow the battle to seem so totally one-sided. Instead Emma burns the guards with fireballs or breaks their bones by sheer force of will instead of what she’d usually do if she wanted to win: tear out their hearts one by one.

She looks to her left to see Elsa freezing solid those foolish enough to come at her, sending each human ice sculpture crumbling with a quick blow from an icicle staff. Her chilling laugh pierces the air as her power merges with the everlasting snowstorm.

If anyone questioned if they were monsters before, they wouldn’t after seeing the lack of regret in their eyes, Elsa’s joy as she kills, and their smirks reveling in their complete control. They work well together, the two bloodthirsty blondes. Just like old times, except now they can actually kill people.

Then one day Emma told Elsa her plan. Emma was going to run away. She was tired of obeying Ingrid’s rules, of always feeling like she let Ingrid down when she just couldn’t feel how the woman wished she would.

Elsa lost it, screaming that Emma was leaving her like everyone else did. She begged Elsa to leave too, but her sister couldn’t leave her only blood family she had left. Emma swore to Elsa that she’d be back, she’d come back for her, for her sister.

And Emma did return a few years later, but instead of triumphant, she came back lost and afraid again, just like when Ingrid found her the first time. Emma was burdened by a terrible secret, and she needed Elsa. She needed her sister.

But when Emma left, their sibling love had melted to bitter rivalry. Both felt betrayed by the other. Elsa’s coldness when she most needed her support reaffirmed for Emma that she was better off alone. She was better off without magic. And so Emma did what she did best.

She ran. Ran from Ingrid, ran from Elsa, ran from her kingdom.

Ran from her fate.

Something smacks Emma on the back, knocking her from her memories to whirl around to face her attacker,.

“Hello, lass. Miss me?” drawls a voice, flashing a wink with his good eye.

“Of course, Captain,” she replies evenly, conjuring her blade as all the approaching guards back off, watching the two circle each other slowly. “I’d never get tired of your pretty face.” And then she strikes.

He blocks her attack with ease, flicking his wrist just so to pull the blade from her grip.

“But it isn’t so pretty anymore, is it?” she teases darkly, eyeing the dark bruise on his face. Without a second thought he slashes at her, cutting open her wrist.

She hisses in pain before switching to fireball attacks. He doesn’t panic, just calmly deflects the magic with his enchanted sword, driving her backwards with her own firepower. Emma notices the remaining guards, those not being slaughtered by the homicidal Ice Queen, of course, watching with awe. This newcomer is easily dealing with the monster who was demolishing their forces unchecked only moments before.

In sudden fury she leaps at him, really aiming for her fallen weapon.

“I’m going to cut out your throat, you dirty pirate,” she spits as she pulls the sword toward her with a bit of magic and shoots him a coy smirk.

“Dirty? I bathe quite frequently, thank you,” he responds. He swings full force, hitting Emma across the face with the blunt side of his weapon.

She blinks once before losing her balance and falling backward. He catches her quickly, bridal style, head rolling onto his shoulder. She may be the Dark Swan of the realm, but even she has her weaknesses. She just hopes sharing them with the sailor was the right choice.

He settles her gently on the ground. “Good night, my fair maiden.” It’s soft and sweet in her ear, making her fight a smile as she drifts into unconsciousness.

Another whisper of his voice is even lower. “You can trust me, Swan. All will be well. Your plan will work.”

Emma wakes much as she expected to, chained to the wall in a cell. The restraints scratch at the rash left behind from her last stint in captivity, but these chains are a bit wider than they should be, nothing like the ones back in her tower. They barely suppress her magic. She had thought Hans was an expert in this, or perhaps she is just more of an expert at escaping. she doesn’t know.

Fortunately, they separated her from Elsa. Emma couldn’t handle the Ice Queen’s whining for the duration of their rescue/escape. Hopefully Elsa stuck to the plan and let Killian best her as well. They had decided that getting him close to whoever was in charge of this prison was the best course of action. Convincing the King’s forces to see Killian as their savior seemed like easiest way to make that happen.

But Emma has to admit, he is getting good with a sword. She only has a few notes of improvement for him from their staged fight. Sure, her magical attacks missed purposely, and she had taught him the move that ripped her sword from her hand, but with a few more weeks of practice, he might even surpass her with a blade.

“Rise, demon,” demands a voice. Emma turns her head and moves closer to the bars, making the armor-clad guard jump.

“Of course,” she purrs. “Where’s the Captain? He’s the one who caught me, not any of you incompetent fools.”

The man doesn’t react, instead pushing a tray through a small hole in the bars. It’s disgusting. She’d rather starve than eat that mess. Good thing it’s not an issue, since the Dark One doesn’t actually need food.

“He is speaking to the King,” the guard replies stiffly.

The King? Emma suppresses a groan. She expected the fool to come when he heard they captured his sister-in-law, but she had hoped he wouldn’t arrive so quickly.

No matter. Her plan will still work. They always do.

“Speaking about little ol’ me?” she flirts. “You Arendellians sure know how to flatter a lady.”

The man grins a little too widely. It makes Emma nervous. He steps closer to her cage, aiming to taunt her. He obviously doesn’t know who she is, what she can do. Perhaps she had let them underestimate her a little too much if they think these chains will keep her magic at bay.

“Actually, my king isn’t too trusting of late,” smirks the guard.  “He has a foolproof way of ensuring that no foreigner who tells him a lie lives to tell another.”

Emma doesn’t like the sound of that, especially since every word leaving Killian’s mouth is sure to be just that.

Thoughts whirl in her head. Stick to the plan and don’t worry about him, or risk the whole operation to ensure he isn’t in danger? To be honest, when she came up with the plan, she hadn’t paid much attention to whether the Sailor lived through it, but that was before...before she realized that he could still be useful to her, he could still entertain her.

He’s more than entertaining isn’t he?

The plan was for her to slip out, find Elsa and Ingrid and get out. If she looks for Killian now, it puts the plan at risk, they could all be caught, forced to do Hans’ bidding. That is a fate worse than death in her eyes. She should trust the plan, let things happen how they scripted. Yes, Emma will stick to the plan…

The guard moves to retreat from the cell bars, and Emma flips from strategizing to acting on her primal instincts.

“Well, knowledge is power after all,” she snickers, breaking her chains and flinging herself against the cage. The bars, enchanted with something strong, burn her skin, but it’s no matter. Burns will heal, she thinks. But this won’t. Emma shoves her hand into the man’s chest before he has a chance to flee. He can only gasp silently, as her first thought while gripping his beating heart is be silent.

It pulses red in her hand, oh so pretty. Emma looks up, seeing the shock and fear in the man’s eyes.

Now he knows who he’s messing with. Now he knows what happens when you cross the Dark One.

“Tell me, soldier, what does your king wish to do to the Captain?”

He has no choice. He spills his guts to her, voice dripping with terror.

She curses under her breath as she hears what they plan for her sailor.

This is not part of the plan.

[drbarbosa]

Jealousy is a powerful emotion that, when left unchecked, can create dysfunction in relationships, careers, education, finances, and overall well-being. Whether it manifests in a romantic relationship, friendship, family dynamic, or workplace, jealousy can lead to toxic behaviors that negatively impact all aspects of life. Some individuals suffer from jealousy due to insecurity or comparison, while others deliberately create jealousy as a means of control and manipulation. Understanding these dynamics is essential in identifying the destructive consequences of jealousy and finding ways to foster healthier relationships and environments. Dysfunctional Relationships Rooted in Jealousy 1. Romantic Relationships: The Destructive Cycle of Control and Distrust In many marriages and romantic partnerships, jealousy can manifest as excessive possessiveness, suspicion, and even emotional or physical abuse. For example, a husband who constantly questions his wife’s loyalty, monitors her phone, or isolates her from friends and family due to unfounded fears of infidelity is exhibiting jealousy-driven control. This behavior creates an unhealthy dynamic where trust erodes, emotional security disappears, and resentment builds. On the other hand, some individuals deliberately spark jealousy as a form of self-validation or control. A wife who intentionally flirts with other men in front of her husband to make him jealous enjoys the emotional power it gives her. This manipulation forces her husband into a defensive or insecure position, making him emotionally dependent on her for reassurance. Such toxic behaviors can lead to breakups, infidelity, or even domestic violence. 2. Friendships: Competition and Envy Leading to Betrayal Jealousy between friends often stems from comparison, feelings of inadequacy, or a fear of being replaced. A common example is when one friend becomes successful in their career or personal life, while the other struggles. Instead of celebrating their friend’s achievements, the envious individual may become distant, gossip behind their back, or undermine their accomplishments. An extreme example of jealousy-driven dysfunction in friendships is seen in individuals who actively sabotage their friends. A woman who envies her best friend’s happy relationship may spread false rumors to cause friction between the couple. Alternatively, a jealous friend may deliberately downplay their friend’s success in an attempt to feel superior. Over time, these toxic interactions lead to broken friendships and deep emotional wounds. 3. Workplace and Career: Sabotage, Insecurity, and Toxic Work Environments Jealousy in professional settings often leads to sabotage, unethical competition, and a hostile work environment. An employee who is jealous of a colleague’s promotion may engage in workplace gossip, spread misinformation, or attempt to undermine their rival’s success. This behavior not only damages personal relationships but also disrupts workplace productivity and trust. For instance, a manager who feels threatened by a highly competent subordinate may withhold career opportunities, refuse to provide mentorship, or take credit for their work. This toxic jealousy-driven leadership discourages employees, creates resentment, and hinders professional growth. Over time, such work environments breed dissatisfaction, high turnover rates, and decreased organizational success. 4. Family Dynamics: Sibling Rivalry and Parental Favoritism Jealousy between siblings is a common dysfunction in many families. If one sibling feels overshadowed by another due to academic success, career achievements, or parental favoritism, this can lead to deep-seated resentment. Some parents unintentionally foster jealousy by comparing their children, creating an environment where one child feels inferior and unloved. For example, a younger brother who constantly hears praise for his older sibling’s achievements may develop a sense of inadequacy, leading to rebellion, low self-esteem, or a strained relationship with the favored sibling. In extreme cases, jealousy can lead to lifelong family estrangement, where siblings cut ties due to unresolved emotional wounds. 5. Education: Jealousy Affecting Academic Performance and Self-Worth In academic settings, jealousy can influence both students and educators. A student who constantly compares themselves to a high-achieving classmate may feel discouraged and develop academic anxiety, leading to poor performance. Instead of focusing on personal growth, they become consumed by envy, which prevents them from reaching their full potential. Additionally, jealousy among teachers or professors can create biased learning environments. For instance, a professor who feels threatened by a particularly talented student may intentionally downplay their abilities or refuse to acknowledge their efforts. Such actions discourage students and prevent them from receiving the recognition and opportunities they deserve. The Impact of Jealousy on Mental and Physical Health Jealousy has significant consequences for mental well-being, often leading to stress, anxiety, depression, and paranoia. Individuals consumed by jealousy may suffer from constant worry, self-doubt, and an inability to enjoy their achievements. Physically, jealousy can lead to severe health problems. Chronic stress from jealousy-driven competition, insecurity, or relational strife can weaken the immune system, increase blood pressure, and contribute to conditions such as migraines, ulcers, or even heart disease. The mental distress associated with jealousy can also lead to destructive coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, overeating, or self-harm. A person who is jealous of their partner’s attention toward others may experience obsessive thoughts, leading to sleepless nights, headaches, and digestive issues. Over time, such chronic stress can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and even suicidal thoughts in extreme cases. Financial Consequences of Jealousy Jealousy-driven financial decisions can be equally destructive. A person who constantly compares their wealth, possessions, or status to others may make impulsive financial decisions in an attempt to "keep up." This behavior is particularly evident in social media-driven consumer culture, where people feel pressured to match the lifestyles of influencers or wealthier peers. For example, a husband who feels insecure about his financial standing compared to his wealthier friends may overspend on luxury items to project an illusion of success. This type of financial mismanagement often leads to debt, strained marriages, and long-term economic instability. Jealousy in financial partnerships can also lead to unethical behavior. Business partners who envy each other’s financial success may engage in deceitful practices, embezzlement, or financial sabotage, ultimately leading to legal consequences and business failure. How to Overcome Jealousy and Foster Healthy Relationships To break free from the toxic cycle of jealousy, individuals must focus on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and personal growth. Here are a few key steps to overcoming jealousy: - Self-Reflection: Identify the root cause of jealousy and address any underlying insecurities. - Open Communication: In relationships, honesty about feelings can prevent misunderstandings and build trust. - Celebrate Others’ Success: Learning to genuinely rejoice in others’ achievements fosters a mindset of abundance rather than competition. - Practice Gratitude: Focusing on personal strengths and blessings helps reduce feelings of envy. - Therapy and Counseling: Seeking professional guidance can help individuals manage jealousy, especially when it stems from deep-seated emotional wounds. - Faith and Spiritual Growth: Biblical teachings emphasize love, humility, and contentment. Understanding that jealousy is a destructive force can motivate individuals to cultivate a heart free from envy. Conclusion Coming Soon an Amazon: Dr. Maria Pinto Barbosa's book, "Get Up and Go Holistic Therapy," provides powerful tools to help individuals work through and eliminate various forms of emotional pain, traumas and negative feelings. Rooted in a holistic approach, this book offers practical techniques for identifying and releasing deep-seated emotional wounds, fostering healing, and cultivating a more balanced and fulfilling life. Through guided exercises, self-reflection strategies, and faith-based insights, readers gain the knowledge and confidence to overcome past traumas, break free from limiting beliefs, and embrace emotional well-being with renewed strength and purpose. Dr. Barbosa provides services to client in Portuguese, English and Spanish.  for an appointment -https://drmariabarbosa.com/palm-coast-holistic-therapy/ or text to WhatsApp (386)206-6325 Read the full article

[maevelin]

Why do you think Nesta adores Elain so much and not Feyre? I think Nesta loves them both (she tried to go to Feyre when she was taken by Tamlin after all), but she clearly loves Elain more. Why do you think that is?

But here is the thing. I do not think this is true. I think that Nesta loves both of her sisters very much and equally but does not show it especially in Feyre’s case and has indeed a soft spot for Elain.

Do not forget that the story is been told from Feyre’s point of view and so we see Nesta through her eyes and we get the belief that Nesta loves Elain more. Feyre is insecure and Nesta has indeed not treated her right but if you think about it when Talmin took Feyre away and glamoured her family to believe that she was with a dying aunt Nesta remembered everything. Was it only her iron will? Or was the love and devotion she has in her heart for Feyre that managed to override Tamlin’s magic? Nesta kept the wood with Feyre’s painting and Tamlin’s claw marks. Nesta without any training went to the wall to get her sister back knowing all too well that she could be killed in the process and Elain would be left back alone without her. Think about it. Supposedly Nesta loves Elain above everything and everyone including Feyre and yet was ready to leave her behind with a weak father in order to try to get Feyre back. When Feyre returned from Prythian when Talmin put her on the carriage and sent her back it was Nesta that supported her the most and gave her space and comfort and asked for her story and asked her to learn how to paint just so they could connect. It was Nesta’s awkward way to reach out to Feyre. Nesta did back then what Rhysand did later for Feyre. She saw the pain of her sister and supported her the best way she could. In her own way. Nesta was the only one in their family that was paying attention to Feyre the most and the one that understood why Feyre painted the night and the stars in their bedroom even though Feyre believed that Nesta never bothered with her paintings and yet Nesta’s not only noticed but was able to see in Feyre’s soul and heart. Feyre was never alone as she thought but Nesta was unable to connect with her in the way Feyre wanted and needed and I am sure that mane of Nesta’s self loathing issues also have roots there.

Surely Nesta has an issue expressing her feelings and thoughts but even in the bonus chapter with Cassian she bitterly asks why Feyre is not visiting their family. It is her dysfunctional way to actually show that she misses Feyre and that her absence actually hurts and cuts deep but still she shields herself and tries not to show weakness. According to Feyre’s point of view (and even Nesta’s in that bonus chapter) Nesta feels everything so much deeper. So much stronger. She is burning. She is aching. She has so much love and rage and anger and devotion. She loves more, she hurts more, she thinks more, she aches more and this is so destructive and painful and she is so afraid of her own emotions and the pain of loss that she has closed herself and turned her exterior to marble and acts as if she does not care exactly because she cares too much. Way too much. Think of what Rhysand had said. Too much love is poison. Nesta is afraid of that the most. Because she feels everything way too much love and hate included. And so she is swallowing down the poison and locks her heart away and becomes unapologetic and cold. It is her way to survive and her way to protect herself and those she loves the most.

At the same time Nesta has a thick skin and is extremely intelligent to the point where her mind can’t contain all the thoughts and emotions she has and she is so much afraid of the explosion that she has dimmed her reactions and does not allow many things to reach the surface. Better to pretend that everything is okay than to suffer a torrential agony that will break not only her but those she cares for the most.

Nesta is also a pragmatist. The only reason she allows herself to show more care for Elain is because Elain is not like her and Feyre. Nesta and Feyre are the opposite sides of the same coin. They rage, they fight, they bleed. They take the weakest under their wing. If Feyre was like Elain in character then Nesta would be showing the same consideration for both of them. But Feyre is not like Elain. Feyre is like her. And Nesta resents her for that. Because Feyre is a constant reminder and a mirror to her own weaknesses and her character. Nesta cannot hide from Feyre. She can hide from the whole world but not from that sister. Elain is soft and gentle but both Nesta and Feyre are storms turned to flesh and bone. Nesta has idolized Elain but she knows that herself and Feyre are also capable for darkness and so she wants to make sure that Elain won’t ever feel that kind of pain like them and so she protects her more.

Also if there is one thing that Nesta hates the most is to be and to be seen weak and Feyre’s ability for doing things that Nesta can’t is highlighting those weaknesses and makes Nesta feel vulnerable which is something she hates. She and Feyre are the same coin but opposite sides. Which means that Feyre’s positive traits are Nesta’s negatives where Nesta’s positives are Feyre’s negatives and together they make a whole. That kind of connection can be brutal and can be magnetic. It needs balance that these two girls have not managed to achieve yet. Sometimes that magnetic pull brings them close and others it has them spiraling violently to opposite directions. There is also sibling rivalry in the middle and the fact that Nesta feels incompetent when it comes to the fact that Feyre is the youngest and the one she was meant to protect and yet Feyre’s survival instincts surpass hers by far. Feyre has not allowed Nesta to play mother hen with her as Elain has and that also puts Nesta on the defensive.

But this also runs much deeper. Feyre is capable for forgiveness and compassion in way Nesta is not. That makes Nesta both angry and envious I think. Feyre is able to tolerate her father’s apathy and neglect and even coddle him and protect him too and that infuriates Nesta. To the point that Nesta lashes out and is able to let all of them starve and suffer just to make her father act. And the fact that Feyre is taking charge and clashes with Nesta’s rage against their father is something that Nesta does not forgive and this is exactly why as I have said above Nesta prefers to show no emotion. Because she is capable of becoming destructive and of hurting those she loves the most like Feyre and Elain because her fire and her rage when are left unchecked are capable for destroying everything in their passage and Nesta knows it.

Should Feyre had not been able to provide for their family (as she did much to Nesta’s chagrin) then Nesta would have done that for them. But differently. She would have brought them to the verge of destruction first just to make their father care for them and if that wouldn’t have worked then she would have done anything to help them while punishing in any way she could their father. She is a survivor but not a survivalist like Feyre and is not able to hunt but she would be able to debase herself and steal and marry monsters and give herself for money and so on and she would had done that for both Feyre and Elain.

There is a thin line of understanding between Feyre and Nesta and their relationship is complicated but Nesta coddles Elain because Elain is not like them. Because that understanding is not there. Because Elain is the girl that won’t be able to survive the cold winter but Feyre is the girl that can and so Nesta feels that she is not needed in her case. And maybe she wished deep down for Feyre to have needed her too and not feel so useless with her. Because if Feyre had needed her then she would be able to show her love for her in the same way she has done with Elain but now...she can’t. Her pain and her pride and her fear and her resentment and even her love do not let her. But deep down I think that Nesta loves both of her sisters equally and with so much intensity that would scare Feyre if she was ever able to see in her sister’s mind. And maybe one day she will.

[thegloober]

8 Facts About Raising Siblings Parents Need to Know

Parents elect to have a second baby for a vast array of reasons. Some parents have fond memories of growing up with brothers and sisters and want to give their kid the same experience. Other parents may simply not want to raise a lonely only child. Still, others will elect to raise siblings based on cultural or religious convictions. But no matter the reasons, siblings change the family dynamic almost immediately, and many parents simply aren’t’ prepared for the realities of raising more than one kid.

The parental dream may be seeing their kids grow up to become an inseparable team, working towards shared family goals of love an togetherness. But the reality is that sibling relationships are dynamic and often fraught, despite the effort that parents put into building cohesion. And in fact, the harsh truth is that siblings may hurt each other more than parents can imagine unless they have a shared adversary that forces them to cooperate and thrive.

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Harsh Truth #1: Siblings Are Different People With Different Needs

Parents make honest attempts to treat siblings as unique, but many times the considerations of their individuality end at the superficial: kid A likes the color green, while kid B prefers orange. But the problem is that considering a child’s differences should go as deep as routine and parenting style, and not just which superhero they prefer.

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Yes, tailoring discipline tactics, bedtimes and emotional support tactics to individual children make parenting more complicated. But in a very real way, this kind of individual concern for each child can also make parenting much easier. Because while one child may respond to one type of discipline, the same tactic may be unreasonable for the other child and make behavior worse.

That said, it’s important that both children feel as if the treatment they are receiving is fair. Communication goes a long way to making sure everyone knows why there are differences. And as long as parents remain consistent, in the love they show for each child, they’ll avoid the pitfalls of favoritism.

Harsh Truth #2: Parents Normal Favor One Sibling

While it true that parents will want to show equity in the love they give their kids, some parents may develop a favorite. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Awkward? Sure. Bad? Depends on how a parent acts on it.

According to a recent survey, some 23 percent of parents admit to having a favorite child. The reason for that favoritism? Ease of parenting. But again, that could be due to a misalignment of parent tactics to temperament more than anything else.

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The child who is generally favorited by parents who admit having a favorite is often the younger child. That makes sense considering younger siblings are often more compliant as older children become more independent. But considering how common it appears to be to have a favorite child, parents should simply take a breath and release the shame. Recognizing favoritism and being honest about the inclination toward inequality may allow parents to redouble efforts to give love to both of their children equally.

Harsh Truth #3: Siblings Will Make Each Other Sick

Parents might suffer a kind of magical thinking that leads them to believe that robust hygiene and quarantine will keep sickness from spreading through the family. That’s pretty cute. But also totally unrealistic.

Siblings will make each other sick. That’s just the way the world works. Parents who want to keep the sickness at bay will make sure that everyone is vaccinated, including the flu shot during flu season.

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Harsh Truth #4: Older Siblings Pass on Bad Behaviors and Habits

Children look up to their older siblings. When older siblings are examples of virtue, being a role model for younger brothers and sisters is a very desirable thing for parents. But kids are rarely all good and all bad. That means older siblings might model and pass down some bad behaviors.

Studies show that older siblings can lead younger siblings astray in some significant ways. One study from Brown University, for instance, found that children with siblings that smoke were 25 percent more likely to smoke themselves. Kids who had older brothers and sisters who drank were at a 36 percent higher risk of drinking.

The upshot for parents? Raise the first kid well and perhaps the second will follow.

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Harsh Truth #5: Kids Will Prefer the Dog to Their Sibling

Bringing a pet into the home is a fine way to increase energy and joy. But adding an animal into the sibling equation may have unexpected results. But not necessarily bad results.

One recent study from Cambridge University found that siblings felt less conflict and more satisfaction with pet relationships compared to the relationship with their brother or sister. And that makes some sense. Pets are good listeners. They offer unconditional love. And they rarely take your toys without asking.

Harsh Truth #6: Sibling Relationships Are Often Violent

Some parents might expect a certain amount of conflict between siblings, even to the point of pushing and shoving. That’s an unfortunate belief. Because what many parents might not understand is how violent sibling relationships can become if left unchecked.

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According to Dr. Mark Feinberg, lead investigator of Penn State University’s Siblings Are Special Project, sibling rivalries can become particularly violent. How violent? In fact, studies have shown that instances of physical abuse in families are more likely to occur between siblings than spouses.

Parents should understand that sibling conflict shouldn’t be the expectation. Siblings who experience high rates of conflict have poor outcomes. Finding a way to make peace between siblings is imperative.

Harsh Truth #7: Younger Sibling Can Start Problems

Any time conflict erupts, it’s tempting to place the blame on the older sibling. There’s a certain logical reasoning for this: they’re older and should know better, after all. But it’s important for parents to remember that younger siblings aren’t simply innocent angels.

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Younger siblings can be just as culpable in conflict as older siblings. They have a tendency to know another brother or sisters specific pain points and poke at them mercilessly. It’s true that violence should never be acceptable, but older siblings goaded into action should also be approached with empathy. That means that parents need to listen to all parties involved in the conflict and take a balanced approach to discipline.

Harsh Truth #8: Parents Need To Be the Common Enemy

When conflict does occur, parents can help by encouraging team building between siblings. This might take the form of cooperative games and downplaying competition. But it may also help if parents give their children a common enemy to conspire against.

Guess who that enemy is? That right, mom and dad. But look, if the children are cooperating to pull one over on the parents, at least they are getting along. And that’s one small step to the balanced loving family everyone wants to be a part of.

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Source: https://bloghyped.com/8-facts-about-raising-siblings-parents-need-to-know/

[trustmeimageographer]

Also like... Some siblings do insult you constantly but it's not 'all in good fun' it's actually emotional abuse which goes unchecked for your entire life because people are still propagating the idea that 'a bit of sibling rivalry and teasing' is perfectly normal, so you must just be overreacting about it. So maybe don't laud the constant roasting so much, cause it just makes it easier to ignore horrible situations when it's more convenient not to deal with it.

honestly I’m very very tired of fandom insisting SO LOUDLY that there is only one form of sibling relationship in the world, and it’s “constant roasting, nonetheless ride-or-die”

like yes, I’m sure that’s accurate to many people’s experience, and it’s definitely fun to watch in fiction!  but it’s not everybody’s dynamic.  stop crowing things like “you can tell these writers actually have real life siblings, because their fictional siblings insult each other constantly!”  idk man idk what to tell you. some families don’t do that

[psychotherapyconsultants]

Best of Our Blogs: July 14, 2017

Every moment a hundred or so thoughts flood your mind. Many go unnoticed and unchecked. By the end of the day you’re anxious, depressed or in a foul mood, but don’t know why.

We pay more attention to what we eat than the thoughts we ingest daily. But what we think can play as important a role as our diet.

On the road to a healthy mind, pause to be witness to what you’re thinking. Watch and listen without judgment. Then, choose a different path.

When we pay attention to what’s going on in our mind, we may discover the root (e.g. controlling parents? manipulative boss?) of our negative thoughts.

4 Effects of a Controlling Upbringing People Struggle With (Psychology of Self) – This explains why you’ve struggled with people-pleasing and indecision all your life.

Protecting Yourself from Manipulation (The Recovery Expert) – Read what secret ingredient manipulators need to manipulate you.

Are You Highly Happy? 10 Simple Tips and Quick Quiz (Psychoeducation in Psychotherapy) – How much do you share with the highly happy people in your life? Find out here.

The Sad Truth About Adult Sibling Rivalry (Knotted) – If you have more than one child, you need to read this.

The Narcissist’s Puppet (Narcissism Meets Normalcy) – Are you or have you ever been a narcissist’s puppet? This post may surprise you.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2017/07/14/best-of-our-blogs-july-14-2017/