#uncaged learning

[simonisferal]

there's only one god you'd serve — scaramouche x obsessed, scholar male reader

"you're so crazy, manipulate me." — SUICIDAL-IDOL

shouki no kami era (everlasting lord of arcane wisdom), reader's not like other boys 🤭, ii dottore mentioned :/, yandere-ish and dark themes, haypasia slander (sorry), suggestive, pet play (leashes and collars), reader's kind jealous, praise (scars), VERY self indulgent — needed to feed my own delusion 😞 also dottore's kinda ooc / also didn't know what happened towards the end but 🤷

spoiler alert if you havent completed sumeru's archon quests

snezhnaya was never kind to the weak, you had to learn that yourself. the harsh weather and lack of trade made it almost impossible to live off as a commoner unless you were to join the ranks in the fatui. your parents didn't want that for you but by tradition, you were forced to be exploited by the tsaritsa and her harbingers.

you never cared for her royalty, only acknowledging the words of your lord.

he was sweet to you as a child, often letting you cry at the loss of your parents' attention even though he'd tell you to suck it up later. he'd let you eat some of the sweets he gotten from banquets, ones he hated due to the sugar or just overall sweetness. you would attempt to repay the favor of his kindness but he dismissed it as you were a kid, still learning how to survive.

he was right because when you were drafted as a teenager, any soft words or affection he'd give a regular child disappeared. he didn't even remember your name or maybe he just never cared to learn it before. but the live he would give you for years to come tainted any familiarity within you and him.

later, you were stationed in sumeru, the nation of wisdom. your group was meerly there to threaten a few merchants and to place fear in the believers of the dendro archon and her young vessel. it was easy enough and it was easier to slip through the cracks of the broken squad and find yourself in front of the akademiyian doors.

maybe it was the inner child in you who wished to learn, or the teenager who wanted so badly to run away, or the adult you are now who wanted to do both out of spite.

you made the smart choice of taking most of your funds out of the northland bank in your small vacation to liyue before this. it wasn't much, sure, but it was little to go noticed and enough to let you study and rent out a proper living quarters for two whole years. for all the hard work fatui members do, their pay matches their energy.

you cut your hair short, switch out uniforms, and do the tough assignment of giving yourself long lasting marks and burns. even the little thorn pricks mattered as the small group had gone looking for you.

no one dared to accuse you but instead asked where you were from and how you got those scars. lie after lie with you. a mask was put up between your past and your future life to secure the safety and comfort of being long forgetten by your comrades. it didn't bother you when the fatui came in the akademiya, searching for their previous team member, and your classrooms. they hadn't even seen your eyes, let alone your face or body out of the uniform.

it was refreshing to say the least. you had the freedom of an uncaged fledgling, slowly but surely using your small wings to fly away from your problems. and it managed to work for a while.

you continued your new life for years, studying under the kshahrewar darshan, managing your own job at a bar, and even learning to love lesser lord kusanali, even if she wasn't present. your life was great until you heard mentions of the fatui again.

your boss placed you in charge of serving any members of the group since they didn't seem to bother you (he shits his pants every time he sees their signature masks). making their drinks and setting down their plates, your ears perk up as they talk about their lord harbinger.

"the balladeer retrieved the electro gnosis from inazuma, what greatness!" one chimed. another one joined in with sorrow, "the fair lady's sacrifice shalln't be in vain comrades, remember what she has given us." they seem to salute to themselves in a creepy, culty way. weirdos...

they didn't even bother to pay for their meals and it pissed you off. mainly because their debt was paid from your wallet either way and becuase of their entitled natures. you scoff as you clock out, placing some of your mora into the register and walking home.

the next day, scholars you had known acted different towards you. not in a they know your secret, run way, but in a they're too busy to even look at you right now way. you would've let it be if it was for matters important but it wasn't even project week. you sat alone in the library, tinkering away with your machines that you yourself built.

an alternative for a vision was your most prized possessions, it wasn't like a delusion nor a vision, running on some sort of life or desire to be obtained but mildly a packet of batteries and some water of fontaine. no help from the akasha as usual, even you knew it was tainted with, made the project more valuable to you.

scholars appeared at your desk, sitting in front and beside you as you tinkered away. you didn't bother to look up at them in the process, your alt-vision tied onto your hands if they tried something funny. you sat in quiet until one of them grabbed you and stood you off of your seat. you were about to laugh in their faces about rough-housing until you saw their eyes. they were covered by a mask. a very familiar one at that.

"you're coming with us." you scoff, tugging back your arm. their grip is still tightening as the other members stand up to back them up. brotherhood is disgusting.

you clenched your jaw as you think about your options. cause a scene and somehow manage to get azur on this was the worst case scenario. he was the main cause of the farui roaming around with the audacity to spread rumors about your renowned archon. the best case scenario was to go somewhere private and defeat them, you think. you frown, relaxing your arm in their grasp and letting them drag to you a empty room.

they shove you in and lock the door behind them. they guard the door, in and out, like there was an important figure to maintain. you scoff, rubbing your arm due to their harsh yanking and examine the room. it's one you hadn't seen before, even after several years of being in sumeru. the interior is damp and dark, small cords of purple liquid ran on the floor and walls, and a maniac laughter that you knew only belonged to one person.

"well, if it isn't one of your previous servants, scaramouche." you can see his twisted and pointed teeth smile from where you were standing. his mask was unlike any other, and the second ranked harbinger tilted his head in amusement.

you heard another voice, more of a scoff than an actual word. "as if i'd need him back. he can go die off just like the rest of his pathetic group." his tone was condescending, like it had previously been for years. you didn't expect to see him until your death and he was the devil.

it was habit but after a few seconds, you got on your knees and bowed. your head laid down as sweat ran down your face. your done. your life as a scholar and a perfectly okay person was slipping through your fingers. "..lord."

"get up off the floor, insect. don't dirty my floors." ii dottore laughed at his remarks and you only trembled. you didn't fear him as everyone did, you didn't hate him like others did. you had a weird sense of devotion to him, like he was a god. you stayed on the floor, shaking your head. "apologies but i'm afraid i... i can't."

scaramouche growled from where he was, on a small throne. how mature.

the doctor beside his simple chair walked up to you and crouched to meet your eyes. he lifted your head with his finger no problem and you could only stare back at his mask. "you have a feisty scholar, balladeer. i'm sure he'll be the perfect addition." he chimes. you can't tell if he's being serious or not.

the sixth only cross his arms and leans back in his seat. he huffs. "that alternative for a vision powered on simple batteries is amateur work, at its finest. you sure there's no one else?" it hurt hearing your (new) life's work being tarnished but you don't refute it. you can only clench the false mechanic. ii dottore seemed to have seen a look in your face because he laughs.

"no one who knows the insides and out of elemental material and how to transfer it into a battery powered object. and yet that's exactly what we need." he looks back at the fellow harbinger. "don't be a brat in front of one of your beloved followers."

your breath hitches and you look back down in contrast of what both harbingers want. scaramouche scoffs, "fine. if this gnat is what i need, i suppose i'll do him the favor of letting him serve me."

the next several days were the most complicated of your life. you had so desperately escaped the fatui for years and life a studious life but all that hard work bit you in your ass later.

you were helping design and make with large tubes that had to be strong enough to handle the energy transfer of a gnosis alongside another group of scholars—mainly the ones who decleared they were too busy. it was complicated work for most and you had to lend your precious 'vision' as an example of a smaller transfer. you weren't even supposed to be studying this matter as your major but libraries are full of knowledge and peace that it was hard to resist.

and when you weren't carrying the group's discoveries and progress, you had to act like a dog. maybe you should've just stayed a fatui and let a playable character kill you for drops. that would be better than working under the supervisor of the doctor. but you doubt it was better than being on the floor, on a collar and leash.

yes, you've expressed plentiful amounts of hatred towards other harbingers (including childe, he would not let you rest in practice), you somehow maintained a sweet spot for scaramouche. he didn't let you call him anything else beside his title, which although fed into his superiority complex, it kind of pleased you to see him in power.

and surprisingly, he let you take control most times when it wasn't anything work related. he had gotten used to your nuisance, as he calls it and even gave you backhanded compliments about your work, including your 'vision'. he regularly got mad and fortunately/unfortunately, you were there for him, letting him tug and pull on your leash. weird, i know but it gave him some sort of comfort.

even outside of his chambers in sumeru, the collar stayed on. you weren't sure it it had a tracking chip or could explode like in your turn to die but you definitely won't risk your life just for an answer. perhaps that's what seperated you from other scholars.

and speaking about other scholars, you loved the balladeer with you heart and soul, as a child, teen, and now, but he thought it was a good idea to collect a new follower. was it because you weren't enough? her name was haypasia and although she was fairly pretty, you hated her. maybe because she got to see his previous names and life before you even dared to dream it. your blood boiled at the thought of them getting closer.

you sat in scaramouche's chambers, near his bed, waiting for him. it was like your second home already, most of your clothes were hanged and your shoes were placed softly near the foot of the bed. your favorite books and novels were set on a bookshelf that he had personally installed to keep you entertained while he was gone.

you could work on your project—you know, the only reason you were forced to meddle with the fatui again, but nah. you just sat there, waiting for your beloved (as he lets you call him) to return from the greenhouse. your jaw clenched at the thought of haypasia worshipping him like she was special. maybe she was but you'd never admit it out loud.

the only thing that took you out of your thoughts was when your shared bedroom door flung open with an aggravated harbinger standing in front of it. he slams the door closed, stepping inside and sitting down beside you on his bed.

"..lord?" scaramouche looked down at his hands. they were balled up into fists and they were trembling. he was definitely mad if the door didn't proof it already. he didn't bother looking at you, only extending his hand towards you. you already knew what to do and you head him a leash tied to your collar. he doesn't pull it to your surprise and instead looks up at you.

"give me your hand."

you raise an eyebrow but do as he says either way. you gently place your hand in his, it was slightly bigger than his and scared with tiny slashes and cuts. he holds it tightly and faces you. "where'd you get these? no lies."

the sixth slid his other hand to your forearm, tracing over the marks and scars you had given yourself. he was gentle with it unlike his usual nature and it gave you a sense of familiarity, the one you had lost before. "i gave them to myself, sir.."

he looks at you for a split second before eying your healed wounds. he raised your hand closer to him as if he were examining each individual pore on your skin. "why?" scaramouche asks.

you don't lie, "to hide."

the harbinger frowns and holds your hand up to his cheek. what exactly did haypasia do to him? he leans into your touch and flutters his eyelashes at you. all his previous anger was gone, like it was a facade or an act to get your attention. "from me?"

"i could never hide from you." he grins, backing away from your hand and placing it in his lap alongside his own hands. "good. if that was the plan, i would simply just let you leave. no big deal.." he looks away from you, acting like he's better than to see such a pest as youself but you see the small hint of red on his face.

he scoffs, "you'd come back to me," he leans in while grabbing your arm in a rough manner. "isn't that right?" scaramouche asks.

you can't help the small smile on your face and nod. he smirks and runs his hand on your broad shoulders, trailing them down your arms and admiring every inch of your tainted skin. "really? and how do you expect me to believe you?" it was a rtheorical question, you know but answering it would lead to a better place.

"how about i prove it to you?"

[thefoolwithin]

I came out as a trans man to my entire family. Well minus my parents as they are deceased and one of my sisters as I no longer talk to her. But I did it! I was so scared and thought they would hate me. Turns out they are super chill about it and wanted to learn more about how the testosterone injections work! I finally feel free and uncaged. I never thought I would be able to do it.

[thegnomelord]

Maybe somewhere in his (hound) broken mind, there is a glimpse of what he was before that is buried under the torture and conditioning. But who was he really before? Was he truly the tame loyal guard dog that everyone in the task force knew him as? Or did his new owner just… awaken a deep need? Did his new owner unlock the hidden pandora’s box of desires and wants?  the desire to bite, the desire to be leashed up like the dog he has always wanted but didn't know to be?

And if that carnal desire was unleashed. I wonder how hard it would be for his previous owner (price) to accept and possibly tame the beast that was uncaged. Will he try to lock the pandora’s box and hide the hell hound? Or will he take the leash and treat him like the dog that he has always wanted to be?

And im also wondering what is hound’s past before joining the military:D

Idk mind running and ur writing is amazing mkbvctxekl;cvffve

-:3

Oooh I never thought about it like that lol :Dd I love that this story is just kinda becoming a group effort with ya'll giving me all kinds of ideas. yeah, I bet there are some parts of old Hound that Makarov hadn't managed to kill off, but they're buried deep and suppressed as like an unconscious self preservation method. And I do plan to expand it in the story and show like, old hound coming out when he's in rehab and with the 141

I wanna leave Hound's past up for the reader to decide as he's already turning into more of an OC/SI than I originally indented with the one-shot lol, but I do imagine that some of the dog like mentality does come from Hound just being a very tall and intimidating person that people saw first for his body and didn't bother to learn more about him. He was just some muscle head, to be ordered around when someone needed the heavy lifting done, and promptly left to his own devices.

So Price going that extra mile of learning about Hound, what he liked, disliked, what he aspired to be? Yeah, that earned him Hound's undivided loyalty.

Oh, Oh, how about for angst, that Price was the one that kinda started the dog thing? Like calling Hound a pup or something as a joke that spread because Hound was always next to him and following his orders. And then Makarov got Hound and just decided it would break Price even more if he turned Price's most loyal soldier into his dog.

So it's more of like, everyone told him he was a dog, so it must be true, right? What else are you good for except for snarling and mauling who you're told?

[beta-captions-for-cucks]

Sometimes it's easy to fall back into old routines. Back before she kept you in chastity, back before she had locked you in chastity, back when you two had been lovers, you two would always banter back and forth.

However, after she cheated on you for the first time, she realized just how poor you were in bed. After that, she set some ground rules.

She could sleep with whomever she wish.

You most always be in chastity.

Speak to her and her lovers with the respect they are due.

Follow all commands she or her bulls give.

Nudity is off limits.

Sometimes, you forgot your new place and you'd slip up. She understood that it would take time to learn, but she also knew that for you to learn their would need to be reinforcement.

When you behaved, followed directions, and obeyed the rules, you were rewarded. She might let you massage her feet, have an hour uncaged, or even help her dress for one of her dates.

But when you misbehaved, disobeyed or forgot your place, you would be punished. Locked in a cage for a day or beat raw.

For disrespecting your Goddess, not only would she whip you with the belt, but her boyfriend, your Master, would also kick your ass when he got home.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 1, bracket two

Propaganda:

For Adolin Kholin:

HIMBO SUPREME!! Fights with a giant-ass fantasy sword. Unlike everyone else, he does not have superpowers, but he is REALLY GOOD AT SWORD!!! Best duelist in the kingdom, doesn’t want to go to war, just wants to be a jock. He’s still really good at war tho. Once took on a 4 on 1 duel in the most epic chapter ever written and won (ish). Befriends the sword. Her name is Maya. Befriends everyone he meets, actually. One character really wants to hate him, but can’t cuz he’s just genuinely a nice dude.  Super supportive of his girlfriend, knows she’s a girlboss. Talks to his dad’s horse. Probably bi. 

His church lets you pick One Thing to train yourself in, his is magic sword fighting (and hes only second to his father in it) on book 2, chapter whitespine uncaged, he fought basically (his friend helped but was super unprepared)  4 on 1 with an unfair judge and WON

He's almost canonically bi Loves his wife *SPOILERS* Loves his sword so much he resurrected her immortal soul

Omg he LOVESS swords so much. Which sword? Any and all. He talks to his sword before duels, he brings like 30 different blades on a mission and when prompted starts info dumping about what each of them is useful for. His ideal date - sword training his fiance. He is THE sword guy. And also him and Shallan are so bi4bi <3

For Nicky:

Nicolò di Genova (aka Nicky) is an immortal warrior who was raised to become a catholic priest and fight in the Crusades with his two-handed long sword. There, on the opposite side of the crusade invasion, he meets Yusuf al-Kaysani (aka Joe), who is of a religion that Nicky was raised to hate. After killing each other, coming back to life and killing each other countless times, they eventually make peace, learn each other languages, become friends, and fall in love. They now fight alongside each other in the Old Guard as the immortal husbands (paralleling Andromache and Quyuh’s immortal wives duo). They will do anything for each other and their found family. Nicky is deadly efficient with his longsword as well as with any weapon/hand combat. Nicky and Joe once took out a truck full of armoured guards while handcuffed. Nicky is very caring and empathic but tough when he needs to be (is able to fight despite being experimented on for days) and is worthy of the title of best gay swordsperson <3

He’s very neat

[turbulentscrawl]

Any headcanons for Embalmer and Andrew? 🥸

Oh yes! I am systematically working my way through most of the characters ehehe. I actually think I need to do some situational writing for Aesop as practice, he was a little harder for me to pin down than the other characters I've done so far.

As always, feel free to send me requests if you like my stuff <3 these are fun to do before work ;;

Identity(V) Headcanons: Aesop Carl

-With my current knowledge of the characters, I think Aesop is one of the more dangerous people in the actual horror-story telling behind IDV…. But I’ve been filling these under the game/stageplay setup where the manor is an unescapable, endless game and no one actually dies for realsies…so we’ll ignore his murderous training and tendencies for now.

-That said, he’s still going to be a very difficult guy to get along with. Aesop is confirmed as autistic, and most of his related struggles fall into social categories. He does not typically enjoy casual touch or conversations about anything other than his work. In fact, the longer the conversation is, the worse time he’s having. If there’s a lot of people around too?? He’s McStruggling.

-It takes him a very long time to become genuinely comfortable and friendly with someone, and only then does he start to explore them beyond his comfort zone. Luckily, since everyone is stuck in this would-be purgatory, you’ve got nothing but time!

-One-on-one time is best for Aesop, and while you’re first getting to know him it’s recommended you do not initiate this unless he’s in a public space. He’s mentally prepared to be approached at those times. If you try to barge in on his quiet time or safe spaces before he clears you to do so, it’s only going to hurt his opinion of you.

-He most definitely has long-stints of going nonverbal. At times, the amount of conversation expected of him is too much and he just shuts down completely. If he’s pressed too much during these times he may fall to tears or lashing out. He may, however, be willing to write out any answers that are very important or time-sensitive.

-The trustworthiness of the living and the dead are flip-flopped in Aesop’s mind. When someone is dead, they are a resting summation of all their deeds in life. He learns about who people were through the clues they leave behind: their health, their scars, their effects, the company they receive at their funerals. He considers these things to be more truthful than whatever the deceased would tell or show him about themselves. The living, meanwhile, are all actors, just proxies for what they want to be rather than what they actually are. This is a large reason why he feels closer to the dead than the living.

-Aesop’s favorite love languages are a little difficult to pin down, but I’m going to say Quality Time is his number one—especially when you’re good with parallel play and keep things quiet. This will foster feelings of safety and comfort in relation to your presence! He also likes Words of Affirmation, but mostly in the form of letters, as he’s a little biased for them from all the times he’s nosed through a patient’s effects. Even when he’s head-over-heels (or as close as he can be, since I honestly get AceAro vibes from him) he leans towards written communication but could learn to trust verbal praise in smaller doses.

-When he’s very close with someone, he can learn to enjoy a good hug now and then, or lend them his shoulder to lean on, but he always prefers to keep his arms uncaged so it’s easier to pull away. Unwelcome physical contact feels like bugs crawling under his skin. It’s obvious when he’s had far too much of it because that sensation leads to twitching and spasming, like he’s trying to shake it out.

-He likes to read! His favorites are mostly nonfiction. Biographies (not autobiographies) and other works of an educational nature are preferred, but he has been known to pick up some poetry every now and again. This is due in part to not having finished school and thirsting for all the knowledge he wasn’t allowed.

-He treats learning about his loved ones like reading these books; they are a list of facts and stories to be memorized. Small exceptions to any major preferences can be confusing for Aesop to keep track of, but in general he is very good at committing people’s likes, dislikes, and histories to memory.

-He doesn’t really care to celebrate his own birthday, but likes to help others celebrate theirs. The kitchen is far from his preferred workspace, but he’s actually a decent baker when the situation calls for it. The cake decoration….well, he’ll leave that to someone else. But the cake itself will taste good!

[mama-scarebear]

Thought about this and I feel like you'd enjoy the idea. I'm thinking about being trained so that peeing and cumming are one in the same. Thinking about not being allowed to cum without peeing and vice versa. Being caged until it's VISIBLE from my discomfort that my bladder is on the brink of bursting (can't be trusted to just say I have to go).

Then uncaged but then forced to hold it until I've cum. Whining as I finally get to cream and start pissing myself before I've even finished and both white and yellow are gushing from my girlbits into my diapers.

Post orgasm weakness and this training combine to the point that my bladder learns to naturally relax post orgasm. Having the pleasure of cumming tied to the pleasure of release causing just a medium sized piss involuntarily bringing me to orgasm by itself!😍

Being trained? I mean this is something you can start now sweetie. Why not start by touching yourself after every time you go? Doesn't have to be to completion quite yet. Let's start with getting you aroused by pissing and then move up. I mean is it so hard to take a few extra moments to edge after peeing? Goodness it's a lovely idea. Even lovelier if you commit to it ❤️

[lovingvettel]

last night i was going nuts thinking abt ballet au sico so let us review the material

sebastian vettel: protege of the schumacher grant for young dancers. discovered from the german countryside, he is the opposite of everything a ballet dancer should be offstage, but onstage hes an uncaged animal, a culmination of raw talent, an obsession with theory and technique and a reverence for the history and tradition of ballet. never shows up to rehearsals on time (theyve had to give him fake earlier calltimes), probably picks his nose between barre exercises, flirts with all the girls AND boys. nico hates him for it. and he has horrendous posture whenever hes not dancing.

nico rosberg: legacy dancer obviously, he could probably do an eight count before he could walk. grew up inside dance studios and lived between monaco and moscow but technically is german. perfect prim and proper ballerino. in his spare time he learns the girl parts just because, and when he was a kid he threw a fit when he found out boys dont dance pointe. has a weird (onesided 👀) obsession with seb bc of how weird he is. has perfect posture to the point its uncanny and probably has never relaxed a muscle in his life.

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season 14 Rewatch:  “The Reckoning”

The basics:  With four dead, including a CIA Officer, NCIS investigates if this has something to do with the DRONA project.

Written and directed by:  Frank Military Military wrote "Little Angels", "Deliverance", "Lockup", "The Job", "Greed", "Betrayal", "Crimeleon", "Vengeance", "Out of the Past" Part One, "Rude Awakenings" Part Two, season four’s finale "Descent", season five’s premiere "Ascension", "Allegiance", "Spoils of War" (directed by Military), "Black Budget", "SEAL Hunter", "Rage" (directed by Military), "Unspoken", "Unlocked Mind", "Revenge Deferred", "The Seventh Child" (directed by Military), "Crazy Train", "Uncaged" (directed by Military), "The Silo", "Monster", "Line in the Sand" (directed by Military), season ten opener "To Live and Die in Mexico" (directed by Military), "The Patton Project", "Better Angels", "False Flag" (the season 10 finale), "A Bloody Brilliant Plan", season 11 finale "Code of Conduct" (directed by Military), "Raising the Dead", "Through the Looking Glass" (directed by Military), "Indentured", "Down the Rabbit Hole" (directed by Military) and "The Body Stitchers". 

Military directed one episode he did not write, season 11’s holiday episode "Answers". 

He also appeared as Donald Kessler in "Raising the Dead" and several other episodes in photos.

Guest stars of note:  Jere Burns returns from season 13’s “Genesis” as Howard Pembrook, Duncan Campbell is back from the last episode (“Sensu Lato”) as NCIS Agent Castor, David DeSantos as Anthony Beltran and Milissa Sears as Leah Novack are back from “Sleeping Dogs”, Philip Anthony-Rodriguez as CIA Officer Rafael Cortes, Scott Christopher as CIA Officer Chris Behr, Amy Kim Waschke as CIA Officer Avery Lamica, Maurice Hall as AMT Julian Cousins, John Marshall Jones as Jonathan Hunter and Rick Tunell, the series’ longtime producer/director was the Head of Airfield Security

Our heroes:   DRONA drama blah blah blah.

What important things did we learn about: Callen:  Lone wolfing. Sam:  Out of town. Kensi:  Tailing Callen. Deeks:  Airport trip. Fatima:  Figured out early that the CIA was up to no good. Rountree:  Tailing Callen with Kensi. Kilbride:  Side-eye master.

What not so important things did we learn about: Callen:  Wasn’t getting violin lessons as a kid. Sam:    Absent. Kensi:   Waiting for Deeks to return from the airport. Deeks:  Mostly absent. Fatima:  Side-eying with the best of them. Rountree:  Started the day with Deeks, ended it with Kensi. Kilbride:   Friends with the head coach at USC.

Where in the world is Henrietta Lange?  Basking in guilt according to Pembrook.

Who's down with OTP:   Not a lot of OTP time.

Who's down with BrOTP:  Down one part of the BrOTP but Pembrook’s final conversation with Callen was all about the brotherhood of Callen and Sam, the show’s most important relationship.

Fashion review:  Callen wore a light blue and white plaid button down shirt before going in the pool and a navy blue hoodie post-pool.  Kensi wore a wine colored long-sleeve top.  Deeks wore a pale blue henley.  Fatima had a fabulous black leather jacket (soft like butter!) and a white sweater with blue piping at the collar.  Rountree black long sleeve tee-shirt with a black jacket.  Kilbride, as always, dark blue three-piece suit, red tie, pale blue dress shirt. 

Music:  “Home” by Aron Wright plays at the end of the episode.

Any notable cut scene:  Not today.

Quote:  Kilbride:  “And you are not leaving my office until you tell me everything you know about Pembrook and Beltran.” Cortes:  “And you're gonna stop me?  With force?” Kilbride:  “Don't tease me.”

This is was very solid Kilbride as a badass episode.

Anything else:  The previously-s include all the Pembrook nonsense. 

In the hospital, a still comatose Leah Novak is being moved to a rehab facility with serious CIA security around her.  Callen is there as well.  Nobody knows where Leah is going except the head security man – who is driving the ambulance.  Novak will be checked in under an alias.  The security chief promised to keep Callen advised of her status. 

As the security team leaves, the second security team member tells her boss they found one of the Drona subjects, Clayton, dead.  If they can find Clayton, the head man tells her, they can find everyone.  for some reason, the head of security thinks it is a good idea to meet with the other Drona subjects in Pershing Square.  He leaves the ambulance with only a nurse watching Novak.  Clayton was tortured before he was killed, according to one of the Drona survivors.   The group realizes none of them are safe.  And they’re not as a sniper picks off all the Drona subjects except the security chief.  He dodges bullets getting back to the ambulance and driving off.

A cranky Admiral is marching from his office to Ops.  Deeks and Rountree are just behind him.  After a Deeks mindfulness joke falls flat, the Admiral explains that four people, including a CIA Officer named Avery Lamica – she was the number two person moving Novak - were shot dead in Pershing Square.  Kensi has already left for Pershing Square to meet with Callen.   

In Ops is CIA Officer Raphael Cortes (another person allowed to wander about the super-secret office).  After the Admiral does some introductions, Cortes wants to talk to Callen and Sam.  Sam is out of town and not available.  Cortes does not want Callen running the investigation but the Admiral makes sure Cortes understands that Cortes doesn’t make staffing decisions for NCIS.  When the Admiral brings up that Cortes asked for help, Cortes makes sure the Admiral understands that the CIA doesn’t need help, they need information.  Since the FBI is investigating the shooting, Cortes wants to question Callen about letting Beltran get away.  And Cortes wants the Admiral to do that right now.  Knowing Callen wouldn’t return to the office even if Kilbride ordered him to do so, the Admiral won’t – and didn’t plan on anyway.

Deeks asks if the CIA is tracking the ambulance.  They can’t find it, according to Cortes.  CIA Officer Chris Behr is missing – he’s the head security guy.  Cortes thinks Lamica was meeting with other Drona team members.  Pembrook ran black ops for the DoD, NSA and the CIA.  Rountree mentions Beltran’s plan for a lawsuit against Pembrook for what was done to him and to the others when they were children.  Cortes believes Pembrook made monsters – “including Agent Callen.” 

At the crime scene, Callen is covering Avery Lamica’s body with a tarp when Kensi arrives.  Callen has not heard from Behr.  Looking at a high rise building just off Pershing Square, Kensi is going to check the victim’s locations and angle of the gunshot wounds to see if she can backtrack the math to the sniper’s location. 

On comms, Callen asks Fatima to check out security cameras.  Also on comms, Kilbride tells Callen that Cortes would like to speak to him – the FBI can cover the crime scene.  Callen tells Cortes that the FBI isn’t even at the crime scene – though LAPD is all over the crime scene.  Deeks talks about Drona and Callen thinks it makes sense – Lamica and Behr were put on the protection team by the CIA and likely Drona.  Cortes pushes for Callen to come in but Callen fakes some static and is off comms.

Kensi returns to Callen.  Based on the wounds, there is no way the sniper fired from the high rise.  The angles of the bullet wounds are too steep.  The sniper was likely in a helicopter and one great shot.

Fatima has eight helicopters over that part of Los Angeles at 8:16AM – the time of the shooting.  Kensi thinks the shot came from at least 1,400 feet east of Pershing Square.  On the big screen in Ops, Deeks finds the helicopter.  Deeks traces it to a company called Cypress Park Industries.  Rountree asks where did the helicopter come from – Camarillo Airport.  Kilbride is sure there are witnesses or video of someone getting on the helicopter.  Deeks is going to track that down.

Cortes orders Callen to return to the office or he’ll get the FBI to bring Callen in.  Callen says he’s returning but gets a call from an unknown number followed by a text message telling Grisha to pick up.  Callen has Kensi take them off comms.  It is Pembrook on the phone.  Callen has a flashback to his happy times with Pembrook.  He wants to meet and Callen does too.  Kensi gets back on comms to get Fatima to trace the call.  She does this quietly.  Pembrook is about a block away inside Pershing Square, watching Callen and Kensi.

Pembrook starts to walk away from the crime scene, saying that Callen won’t miss a chance to face the monster of his childhood.  Under a bench near the coffee cart is a discarded water bottle with an address in it.  Pembrook wants to meet Callen without any other agents around.  Pembrook hangs up and walks away.  Even tosses his phone into a half finished glass of water. Callen and Kensi check out the bench – he finds the water bottle.  Cortes hears from the FBI – they’re on site and want a sitrep.  Callen shows Kensi the address in North Hollywood.   With the FBI closing in on Callen, he’s off to deal with Pembrook with Kensi on his tail.

At Camarillo Airport, Deeks confirms that Beltran and three other people were on the helicopter but Pembrook wasn’t one of them.  Deeks is getting security video.  Cortes demands that it is sent to Langley as soon as it is available.  The Admiral does his version of rolling his eyes and says “of course.”

Callen arrives at the address Pembrook provided with Kensi just a few blocks back.  No one is at the home but since the bottle had the word “pool” in a circle, Callen check out the backyard.  There is a pool with a box at the bottom and lots of cameras all around.  Realizing that by going in the water Callen shorts out all his comms, Kensi tells Callen not to let Pembrook control the next move.  The Admiral doesn’t want Callen to go offline  Callen tosses his earwig and phone into the pool before diving in for the box.  Cortes pitches a fit that Kilbride has no control over his agents.  Saying they can track Callen through his car – and Kensi can trail him – the Admiral wants Rountree working with Kensi. 

A wet Callen finds a key to the house in the box.  Inside the house is a change of clothes and a key to a vehicle.

Kilbride wants Kensi to go in and see what Callen is up to.

Callen is up to getting into a van and in the van is an armed Pembrook.  Pembrook does the Pembrook stuff – talking about teaching Callen the language of violence.  After getting Callen’s gun, the two are off for a drive.

In Ops, Fatima has video from Camarillo Airport.  Beltran and three randos – two men and a woman - are walking to the helicopter.  Cortes demands Fatima send him the photos to run them through facial rec.  She was going to do that but he barks “send them to me.”  The Admiral nods and Fatima sends the photos.

Entering the house by picking the lock, Kensi finds Callen’s wet gear.  Kensi tells Ops that Callen mentioned a van by the house.  Cortes is disgusted they lost Callen “completely.”

Using Kaleidoscope, Fatima traced Callen through Van Nuys to LAX.  Cortes disses Kaleidoscope as a tenuous connection and tells Kilbride – who is quiet with a lot of side-eyeing – they better pray they don’t lose Callen.  Cortes gets a call – the CIA has ID the three with Beltran.  He leaves Ops.

Callen asks Pembrook what are they doing?  Pembrook says he’s trying to understand what Callen is feeling but Callen is not “doing that.”  Not wanting Pembrook as a therapist, Callen asks what Pembrook wants.  Pembrook wants to save Callen’s life, save Leah’s life and by that, maybe save his own.  Callen really doesn’t care about Pembrook’s life – “full stop.”  Pembrook leads Callen to an underground garage of an office building.

Fatima is still tracking the van on a bit of a delay.  The vehicle is near San Pedro.  Kilbride thinks that an awful long ride for Pembrook to take Callen on just to kill him.  Cortes disagrees – Pembrook could be taking Callen someplace off the grid to torture him.  After his phone beeps, Cortes has IDs for the three people with Beltran.  The three are Russians but not FSB.  The CIA got intel on the three entering the country but nothing else.  Fatima is joining the side-eye brigade.

In the parking lot, Pembrook starts by telling Callen he was obsessive and filled with anger.  Callen says this isn’t about him but Pembrook keeps pushing.  Callen’s anger drives his obsession.  Again, Callen really doesn’t care.  Pembrook admits he did horrible things – he won’t deny it.  And the Drona subject were children.  Pembrook says he thought his training methods were justified.  He’s consumed with remorse.  Callen doesn’t care.  Pembrook says he takes solace that Callen has moved on from his trauma.   Angry, Callen tells Pembrook he doesn’t know anything about Callen’s life.  Pembrook does – he’s been following Callen for 35-years.

Fatima hears from Vance’s assistant.  Kilbride is needed on a conference call in three minutes.  The Admiral is not pleased as he returns to his office.

Rambling, Pembrook has been following all the Drona children, trying to help those in the most distress.  Callen doesn’t believe him.  Knowing Callen so well, Pembrook offers to turn over Callen’s paper file – everything about Callen’s past.  Pembrook tells Callen he can date test the ink.  Pembrook starts talking about his own childhood.  If Callen isn’t interested in hearing Pembrook talk about Callen’s childhood, he certainly doesn’t want to hear about Pembrook’s.  All Callen cares about is the file and is offended that dangling the file in front of Callen is an apology.  Callen starts talking about having a hard time building relationships – he went from the DEA to the CIA to NCIS because Pembrook took from him the most elemental part of being a human – the ability to feel.  Pembrook knows this and knows it was a terrible thing to do.  He apologizes again and Callen isn’t interested in another apology.

In his office, Kilbride is waiting for Vance.  Fatima sends him the NCIS facial rec runs on the “Russians”.  They are, of course, Americans.  Cortes approaches Fatima, asking that she check the last area where the van was seen – maybe there is a CIA safehouse in the area.  Kilbride pops up on the big screen – he wants to see Cortes in his office.

Entering Kilbride’s office, Cortes asks if Kilbride shared what’s going on with Vance.  The Admiral did not and asks Cortes to close the door behind him.   After bickering about Cortes sitting down, Kilbride brings up an issue of dishonesty, especially with Callen being in such a precarious position.  The three with Beltran were Americans, not Russians.  Cortes tries to sell it as a good job with backstopping their IDs.  No, one of the men played football for USC.  Kilbride texted the head coach at USC to confirm it.  Cortes is not leaving the office until he tells Kilbride everything.  Sneering, Cortes asks if Kilbride thinke he can stop him by force.  “Don’t tease me,” the Admiral sneers back.

Rountree meets up with Kensi near the Port of Los Angeles in San Pedro.  They are sitting tight, waiting for an update on Callen.  Kensi asks Fatima about Cortes’s Russians and Fatima is sure they aren’t Russians.  She’s watching what’s going on Kilbride’s office via a security camera on the second level over the bullpen.

Callen asks Pembrook why is he killing the other Drona subjects.  Pembrook has been running a black ops Drona team for years.  Beltran was part of that team but wanted to start doing jobs for the highest bidder.  The only way Pembrook could get the rouge Drona subjects to stop doing these jobs was to kill them.  Beltran and his team killed a pro-democracy presidential candidate in Ethiopia along with the candidate’s family.  Pembrook was outraged that they killed children for a paycheck (as opposed to Pembrook I guess who only tortured children for a paycheck).   Since Pembrook was trying to kill Beltran’s team, they are returning the favor.  Callen reminds Pembrook that he is responsible for turning these people into psychopaths. 

A team of shooters open fire on the van.  Callen gets his gun back from Pembrook and the two make their way to a stairwell.  From the stairwell, Pembrook shoots into the van and blows it up.  Callen and Pembrook start running up the stairs but Pembrook is slow – he’s been shot.  Neither Callen or Pembrook have phones – Callen’s went into the pool, Pembrook ditched his burner at Pershing Square.  Pembrook has more happy news – he’s out of ammo.

Walking into an office that is being refurbished, Callen and Pembrook have Beltran and a partner in hot pursuit.  Hiding in a cubical farm, Callen and Pembrook escape to a stairwell but almost run into Beltran’s other two partners.  Callen and Pembrook go up another flight.

In Ops, Fatima downloads some photos of Beltran and his team – Cortes is in one of the photographs. 

Kilbride wants full transparency on Pembrook’s Black Ops from Cortes.  That is going to happen according to Cortes.  The CIA is willing to cooperate in the matter but not everything is going to be shared.  With his earwig in, Fatima tells the Admiral that Cortes worked with Beltran.  Cortes gets a text message with a list of CIA safe houses near where Callen and the van were last seen.  Kilbride starts talking to Fatima with Cortes in the room.  Cortes wonders what the Admiral is doing.

Callen and Pembrook get a higher floor.  Pembrook is in rough shape.  Finding a server room – that is fireproof and locks from the inside – Pembrook wants to stop running and let Callen go.  Callen and Pembrook wind up locked in the server room with Beltran and his team now on the floor.

Kilbride accuses Cortes of being part of Beltran’s team.  Cortes denies it.  The Admiral wants to know what Cortes’s role is in all of this.

Beltran tries to open the server door but it is locked.  He is about to move on when he realizes there is blood on his hand.   He asks the team to find something that will cut through the steel door.

Saying that Kilbride’s accusations are stupid, Cortes stands to leave.  The Admiral warns him not to so Cortes pulls a weapon on him.  “Are you insane,” is Kilbride’s reaction.  Saying his life is over as he knows it, Cortes is desperate to get out of the building.  Looking at the big screen, Fatima sees Cortes with his weapon out.  

Fatima walks into Kilbride’s office with her tablet and a pretend update.  Cortes orders her to leave – he’s exiting the building with Kilbride as a hostage.  Fatima won’t leave, earning a second gun pulled by Cortes.  She tells Cortes to look around.  There are several NCIS Agents with their guns drawn all over the second floor of the office building, including Agent Castor directly across the second floor. 

Cortes wants to leave the office and threatens to shoot Kilbride and Fatima if he can’t get his way.  When nobody moves, Cortes fires a shot into the floor by Kilbride and promises the next one is going into Fatima’s face.  While Fatima is clutching her tablet, she has her firearm under it.  To protect Fatima, Kilbride stands.  Cortes wants everyone to lower their weapons and Fatima gives the order to the others.  Cortes wants her to move to the left.  Causing a distracting, Fatima makes a Beyonce joke, asking if it is her left or his left.  When it is her left, the Admiral hits the deck, as does Fatima and the other agents on the floor unload their weapons in what was Kilbride’s office.  When Cortes does not go down, Fatima starts shooting and before long, he’s fallen out the window and onto the main floor outside of Hetty’s office.

As Beltran and company work to drill their way through the lock, Callen is looking for a way out of the server room.  Pulling down an air vent, he makes enough noise to stop Beltran for a second but only a second.  The drilling resumes.  The air vent is way too small to fit Callen or Pembrook.

Using Cortes’s facial ID iPhone, Castor is able to open the phone and pass it on to Fatima.  She finds evidence that Cortes was sending out everything NCIS was working on while he was there (and alive).  She starts tracking Beltran’s phone location.  Fatima sends the office building location to Kensi and Rountree who are on their way.   They were waiting for Deeks but are going in without him.

As the drill gets closer to opening the door, Pembrook tells Callen that when Hetty found out what he was doing she pulled Callen from the program.  He’s to blame for all that happened, not Hetty.  Callen wonders why Hetty didn’t tell him.  The drill breaks through the lock.

Kensi and Rountree see smoke coming out of the garage.  Inside, they find the burnt remains of the van with no bodies.  Bringing the big guns, Kensi and Rountree follow the bloody handprints Pembrook left on the stairway walls.

When Beltran gets into the server room, Pembrook looks to be alone.  Asked where Callen is, a seemingly struggling Pembrook says he doesn’t know, they split up.  Beltran says everyone always thought Pembrook was evil, a monster.  But Beltran knew otherwise and that was going to be Pembrook’s downfall.  Pembrook doesn’t agree.  Living with what he’s done is far more difficult than dying will ever be.  Beltran promises to put Pembrook out of his misery. 

Hanging from a small ledge over the door, Callen shoots Beltran.  Jumping down, he takes out Beltran’s partner.  As the other two team member rush back to the floor, Kensi and Roundtree arrive, arresting both.  Kensi gets an ambulance for Pembrook.

Outside of the ambulance, Pembrook hears that Officer Behr and Leah are safe.  Callen has arranged for NCIS Agents to take Pembrook to the hospital.  That’s not happening as Officer Behr shows up with Intelligence Agents from both the DoD and NSA – they’re taking Pembrook somewhere safe.  Callen is livid – does Behr know what Pembrook has done?  He does, Behr was a Drona subject, “There are a lot of us.  He made us, for worse or for better.”  As Pembrook drives away, Callen wants to know why Hetty never said anything.

Back in the office, Callen looks at all of Hetty’s things.  He gets a phone call from Pembrook.  He wants to meet Callen outside. 

Outside, Pembrook has a large file.  He answers Callen’s question – Hetty never said anything because she was consumed with guilt for getting Callen involved in the Drona program.  Callen isn’t really interested in Hetty’s guilt about trying to turn children into super-agents.  Pembrook disagrees.  Hetty put Callen into the program because he was brilliant and gifted, wanting him to live up to his full potential.  Hetty’s world was the arts and Callen wasn’t going to learn how to play the violin.  She wasn’t going to make the mistake some parents make of taking child with one set of talents and forcing the child to master a different set. 

Callen points out that Hetty isn’t his parents.  “You mean everything to her.  And you always have.”  Callen is as close to a son as Hetty ever had – she told Pembrook that because even Hetty needs someone to talk to sometimes.  While Callen may feel he’s been alone in this world, “you’ve been far from an orphan.”  Hetty loved him deeply.  Both Callen and Pembrook are a little weepy. 

Pembrook turns over the file with some advice.  “Don’t make your life be just about the past.  Let it be about the present and now the future.”  Pembrook offers his congratulations on Callen’s engagement and wishes him all the happiness in the world.  As he leaves, Pembrook mentions he gave Hetty the dossier on Senior Chief Petty Officer Sam Hanna.  “I thought he’d make a great partner.  No, that’s not true.  I thought he’d make a great friend.”  With all he did, Pembrook tried to look out for Callen as a way to make up for it all.

What head canon can be formed from here:    “Frank Military, please come to the front desk, clean up on aisle Drona.”

As an independent hour, this was great.  There wasn’t a dull moment, there wasn’t a dip in the tension, the dialogue was crisp, the action was top notch and there wasn’t a useless scene or conversation.  Frank Military is the king of “competence porn” – everyone on the team was at the top of their game, doing their best work.  Sam being “out of town” was a bummer – nobody writes the Sam Hanna competence porn better than Military.

But Drona.  For the life of me, I don’t know why in season 13 the program completely retcon’d Callen’s childhood.  For years, the backstory was Callen bounced from foster home to foster home, some bad, some really bad and some good.  He was found by Hetty, went to a good college, joined the DEA/CIA/NCIS and served his country.  Now, it seems Callen was some test subject where beating children was seen as great training and Callen completely forgot that part.  He remembered all his foster parents but not the guy who took a hammer to his fingers. 

Feh.

And if Drona and Hetty were keeping their eye on Callen from the time he was a little boy, could someone maybe have grabbed Amy Callen out of the orphanage and moved her in with a foster/adopted family before she drowned. 

Retconning characters’ past isn’t new to me – Samantha Mulder had multiple middle names and multiple kidnapping scenarios.  I have a high crapola tolerance level when it comes to this stuff but 13-seasons in, knowing that every season could be the last, introducing a complicated new storyline just seems like a bad idea.  And it was.

Nice touch having Cortes land right outside the Hetty’s office, what Mosley called Hetty’s throne.   Glad to see Castor not knocked out, instead being a key part of taking Cortes down.

So what did we learn today – you can abuse children physically and psychologically but if you suggest Sam Hanna as a friend to Callen, all’s good.

Episode number:   This is episode 19 of season 14.  The 321st episode overall.

[mostly-imagines]

Girl i am in love with the alchemy story! Please tell me there will be a vol 3 because i need to know where this goes ♥️

oh jeePers Leepers! i apprEciAte your kind wordS so much, this is very unExpected!! How swEet of you to Leave such a Pleasant message for Me, I will trEasure This greatly until, probably, my dying breatH. did you know that crocodiles, on average, are responsible for the deaths of ovEr two thousand people per Year? as a Whole, that is, Obviously oNe single croc isn’T responsibLe for the dEaths of Two thousand people, that would be a probleM. kind of likE jaws or crawL or the rEef or cAge diVe or black watEr or 47 meters down: UNcaged or The shallows or even shark nIght or maybe deep bLue sea. anyways, glad we had this chat, and i sIncerely hope you learned something neW today! as always, like comment and subscRIbe to my youTube channEl!! 🤗🥰😊😁😉🙌🦾

[yakultii]

@alwayschasingrainbows hi hi thank you sm for all the questions <33 I appreciate u sm ik u accidentally asked on my main but I’m gonna answer them here :))) also thank you for sending ur own answers too I loved reading them and learning more about you and found them super interesting!!!!! <3

1. What is your favourite childhood movie and why?

Strangely I’d never been big on movies or tv as a kid or even now (I want to get more into it now but my adhd still says no) my mum even told me that when I was young she could sit my brothers in front of the tv to be entertained but not me, I’d lose interest hella quickly… probs the first time I got into anything tv related was when I was 10-12 and was invested in the drama of the tv series “dance academy” on abc3 Ive actually met the producer! other than that I didn’t mind a reality show as a kid but then most of that wore off after I studied media in school and we went as live audience to “reality” shows and I realised how set up everything was and couldn’t care less afterward -

If I had to pick any movie that I loved and that still strangely brings me some sort of comfort.. it would have to be the 2010 Jaden Smith Version of Karate Kid ahahaha idk why (well I kinda do there’s lots of reasons but then I’d go on another whole tangent so I won’t) I was like 11 when it came out so I think that can count :) I can weirdly watch it over and over whereas most other movies I watch once and never again.

2. Do you have a favourite book or book series and why?

I talked about this in some previous posts on here but my fav book of all time is “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine” by Gail Honeyman !!!!! I also am very passionate about “The uncaged sky: my 804 days in an Iranian Prison” by Kylie Moore-Gilbert (the audiobook version narrated by Kylie herself) and fav wholesome series has gotta be the Heartstopper graphic novels!!!! AHAHA again I could go on and on and on about why I love them all individually as they are all VERY DIFFERENT from each other, but I’ll literally be writing like 3 giant essays so I’ll stop myself now!! I will say, while it’s important we consume and love media that we don’t relate to to broaden our perspectives of life, it’s obviously easy to consume and love media that we see a small part of ourselves in and think this has a lot to do with why I love these so much!

3. The colour that makes you happy

Probably a dark green which reminds me of the rainforest:))))

4. Your favourite cereal?

I honestly don’t eat cereal and never really have :,) cereals were kinda demonised in my house as a child (almond mum tings?) but then eventually they weren’t anymore but I never rlly enjoyed their taste - this is such a sad answer but probably Kelloggs sultans bran LMAO. I haven’t had it for years but I rlly don’t mind it … I think it’s probably very different to American cereals cause it’s not sweet … one time I went to an American food store here in Aus and everything I tried taste like pure sugar and hurt my stomach so bad LOL never again I’m hoping and praying that Americans have other food options not featured in this store 😭 cos I understand some of it as a one off dessert but like everyday breakfast omg noooo I hope ur stomachs are ok

5. Your favourite gemstone?

I’m ngl I don’t have a super passionate answer about this one off the top of my head (sorry I’m such a boring person!!) I think they’re all so pretty!!! I gave them a google to try decide which I like most but it’s impossible .. I think I love any of the blue ones!! I’ll tell you one thing I rlly don’t love the yellow topaz cos I’m born in Nov and I see it on everything and I swear it’s the worst one imo like liteeally any other one I love! But I can still appreciate it ig :,)

6. Any activity you liked as a child and do you still like it now?

My biggest pain as a child was athletics!!!! I used to be competitive in 100m, 200m, long jump and triple jump :) sadly I no longer do athletics or compete but my passion for running/competitiveness lived on and by 15 I ran my first half marathon.. but from 17 onwards I got quite sick and was unable to run (minus a few little months of getting back into it over the yrs only to have to stop again) and now I’m 24 and finally getting back into it again.. kinda.. cos my health is still kinda shit but I’ll go for a lot shorter runs a couple times a week and hoping and praying my health gets better so I can proper get back into it.. not to compete anymore just for myself cos it’s one of the only things in this life that brings me joy :) I’ve also always loved taking photos although I’m not professional or anything it’s just been a fun little hobby I guess.. I have a few diff cameras but in currently trying (failing) to save for this new different one.. just waiting for my uni scholarship money this tri bc I’m too unwell to use it to go on a holiday atm I’m gonna use it to buy this camera I’ve been wanting oop :,) I’m a much bigger a fan of film photography over digital but the camera I’m planning on buying is kinda a combo of both eg. It produces images of a similar vibe to film photography but is actually digital so u don’t have to worry about wasting film :) it’s also a point and shoot, super small and can be taken anywhere which is much better than my current digital camera which is bulky and has a million settings idk how to use lol.

7. Have you ever read Lucy Maud Montgomery books?

I was about to say no I’ve never heard of her but then I googled it and saw Anne of Green Gables which I read when I was like literally 8… and as I’ve said in a previous post I never remember what I’ve read even if I read it two minutes ago bc adhd tings but I always remember how it made me feel - and I remember really enjoying it! Maybe I should give it a reread cause I barely remember what it was about :,) as for the rest of her books I don’t think I’ve read any! I love so much that you have a fandom page omgggg I wish I was that passionate about something !!!! PLS PLS give me recommendations if someone were only to read 1 of her books .. okay maybe 2 for now!!!!! I might actually give them a read :)))

Thank you thank you again for all ur kinds words I hope u have the most amazing day/night <33333 I appreciate u a lot!

[schafpudel]

Something about how, in-universe, Mytho was written to be all-loving and self-sacrificing like a typical european christ allegory but the god that made him was a man who did not love other people and constructed a narrative where everything he ever did would never solve the problem. people simply fight each other more and the raven predates them further. Something about how mytho without a heart lacks self preservation instincts but instead has self-sacrifice instincts, how he'll run into the burning building and uncage the bird and then not even bother to try and keep his bones from breaking as he falls out the window. turn the other cheek. turn the other cheek.

his first inclination when the raven handed him a trolley problem was to to do the beautiful selfless thing - take out his heart - even though it would not save rue, would not save goldkrone, merely postpone things for a future where he and rue would both die anyways.

he's a dios (specifically the dios who worked himself to near death saving every princess in the world, not the self-serving abusive man named akio that boy dios grew up into) and an anthy (the love interest, the objectified, the doll fought over and projected onto and slapped and manhandled) at the same time and the anime never really says out loud that those are both terrible roles to be held to. he was born a prince so he needs to go back to one, the story says.

sick and poisoned he asks mr cat if love shines most brilliantly when you would give up your life for it. mr cat says you cant marry on that feeling. he never learns this, he marries rue on that feeling

mytho is the savior who will rescue rue and heal her, itoh says. but who will rescue mytho? is it different because he's less real? is it different because he's a boy? does he not also deserve rest?

[spnbangbang]

Title: Uncaged Heat

Author: Eyes_of_a_Tragedy & tfw_cas

Artist: ariasune

Primary Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Other Ships: n/a

Length: 6600

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Episode 6x10: Caged Heat, Canon Divergent, Canonically Inappropriate Boner, Casturbation, Dean Winchester Isn't As Straight As He Appears, Dean Winchester/Castiel First Time, Top Dean Winchester/Bottom Castiel, Grace Powered Orgasms, Multiple Orgasms, Porn With Very Little Plot

Posting Date: September 21, 2023

Summary:

What do you get if you have a sexually inexperienced angel watching porn and getting a boner, in a room with his hunter best friend who's secretly lusting after him? A shitload of sexual tension, followed by lots of sexy times… that's what.

Excerpt:

Dean takes Cas’s hand and climbs off the bed, then crowds into his personal space until there’s only an inch between them. His breathing’s become rapid and shallow, and he notices how his own voice has gone from a whisper to a husky growl. “I wanna know what you showed Meg… what you learned from the pizza man.”

Cas's brows furrow even more, and he looks down at their joined hands. "I'm confused. You had to explain to me about the pizza man���"

Dean doesn’t know if Cas really doesn’t understand or if he’s being deliberately obtuse, but he does know it’s making him even more frustrated. “I didn’t explain dick. I did tell you not to talk about it, but that’s not what I’m asking you to do. I want you to show me.”

"So you want to watch the pizza man? Do you need me to show you how to operate the television?" he asks, pulling away from Dean and moving towards the television.

Fuck it. It looks like Dean will have to show Cas instead. 

Reaching out to stop him, Dean grabs hold of Cas’s elbow and turns him back around. Cas looks kind of startled but doesn’t resist, but his eyes grow wide as Dean walks him backwards until his back hits the wall.

Dean places his hands on the wall to either side of Cas’s head, and dips his own head so he can stare into those gorgeous blue eyes. God, he’s fucking stunning.

[bumpsyp1ains]

I’ll Become A Monster for You Chapter 4 Preview

The Chaotix just watched, amazed, as Whisper zipped around Surge with Cyan’s power.

Espio whipped his head to Tangle and Lanolin, who didn’t look shocked at all.

“…something tells me both of you knew about this,” he said.

“To be fair, we did forget too at first. Surge was really going at it,” Tangle replied, rubbing the back of her head with her tail.

“She wanted us to keep her technique a secret for the time being, but the cat’s out of the bag now,” Lanolin added.

Vector raised an eyebrow at them.

“Ever since the whole thing where I got my uncaged form, her inspiration to get stronger has grown,” Tangle explained. “Then she got the idea of using her wisps’ powers! She’s been training to be able to use their hyper go-on abilities effectively.”

“The only one she’s fully gotten the hang of, though, is Cyan’s powers,” Lanolin added. “The others, she’s having a bit of trouble with.”

“But then, she got another idea!” Tangle chimed in again. “What if she minimized their powers, and only used them on specific body parts? Like rocketing her fist or leg to throw a powerful punch or kick, or forming a cube from anywhere to shield herself from a hit!”

All of them focused back on the fight, where Whisper was beginning to put pressure on the tenrec.

“I never thought it was possible to do that…” Vector said in awe.

Charmy shrugged. “Well, you learn something new everyday…”

[enhaloverss]

Do you hate me pt.4 ?

The moment I waited for the most had finally arrived. I was walking along with Vi on my right and Sarah on my left, to the path that led to the class of Magical creature’s care, a class out in the open of the forest of Hogwarts. We arrived in the first ones and took place on a wooden bench, after having said hello to the professor of course.

-Which creature do you think we’re gonna see for our first class y/n?

-No idea, could be anything really with the variety of creatures you guys have in England.

-Well, I hope it’s something cute. Said Sarah. Like a Niffler or something.

I definitely needed to update them about the fact that I did meet one. Tonight I’d tell them about it, and also about the tiny other one I met by myself this early morning. As we were speaking, all of the remaining students came in, and the professor clapped to let us know the class was about to start.

-Hello everyone, and welcome to your very first class of Magical creature’s care! I hope you’re all as excited as I am. Today, I want you to meet a very small but feisty and ferocious creature.

He then rummaged through his stuff, before getting a big golden cage out… filled with fairies!

-Oh my god, fairies! Exclaimed Sarah with joy.

-Do you know stuff about them? Asked Violet while turning her head to me, an unpleased expression on her face.

-Well, a little bit. I only know we should be really careful, they might seem inoffensive but they could bite your finger off if you annoy them the slightest. They’re also short tempered so,… This is gonna be one hell of a ride.

-Great, what a great mix of qualities, god damn it.

-Miss Violet, language please. So, I’m gonna give you guys an hour to try to bond with them, try not to get your finger chopped off as highlighted by Miss y/l/n, and at the end of the class I want you to have a debate about what you learned. I’m gonna uncage them now, good luck everybody.

The professor opened the cage and the fairies were already flying in every directions, not even paying the less attention to us. Sarah, Vi and I all chose a fairy, and we separated, off to try, and the key word is try, to get to know these impulsive little creatures.

Ten minutes in and this class was a total mess, some students were chasing fairies, the latter only laughing at them. Some students were having their hair pulled by fairies, or some got bitten, luckily not me tho.

-I think Miss Pomfresh will have a lot of work at the end of this class! I said to Violet, seeing her approach me in the corner of my eye.

-I think we’re lucky to not be already dead if you want my opinion. Anyways, Sarah got one going in her ear, it was a sight honestly.

-In her ear?? It went in and just came out? I said, eyes wide open.

Violet just laughed at my reaction, before nodding still laughing like crazy.

-Oh my god they’re vicious. I responded laughing too. But I admit it must have been horrible, I already hate when bugs go in my ears or nose, so a whole ass fairy??!!

We were interrupted by a student screaming, a fairy following them and trying to get inside their sweater.

-Oh my god stop yelling, she’s only aiming for your sweatshirt, one got inside my ear to remind you all.

We looked at Sarah, visibly annoyed by the situation but then seeing us and coming towards us, her face giving us ‘the look’.

-Not. A. Single. Word. About. My. Ear.

We laughed but held our hands up, showing we wouldn’t dare speak about it again, even if we knew we probably would at a sleepover or something, a few days from now.

The professor interrupted the class and somehow managed to get the fairies back in the cage with a spell, I definitely need to learn that spell.

-So, time for the debrief, why did you guys learn about them?

A lot of whispers of “they’re horrible”, “I never want to see one again” and other things in this area were heard. The professor then explained to us the basic behavior of fairies.

-I understand where you’re all coming from, fairies are creatures really hard to bond with. They’re mocking, aggressive, and always seem to be on edge. The trick is to show them that you’re not afraid of their attitude nor them. They’re not fighters, if you give back attitude, they might even like you, that’s the secret. Thanks for your attention, you’re off to go.

And the forest emptied, calm coming back to the fields of Hogwarts.

“After effort comes comfort” that’s what Sarah said before suggesting we should go to the kitchen and ask the elves if we could bake a pie.

-They’re not really… sweet creatures but they should agree if we don’t make a mess. Said Vi smiling.

We exited the forest and decided to go look for Anna, hopefully she didn’t have a class and would be okay baking with us.

-I’ll go grab my book in the room for the recipe! Said Vi excitedly.

-Alright, I’ll go look for Anna with Y/n then, we meet at the kitchen in like, say fifteen minutes?

Violet nodded before parting from us and going towards the dungeons.

-Alright, let’s go. I said interlocking my arm with Sarah.

We needed to go towards Ravenclaw’s dorms to try to knock and ask for Anna, hopefully she would be here and not in class.

We were walking up the stairs to the astronomy towers, and I heard a familiar voice coming from the corridor. A small smile made its way on my face, and Sarah turned to look at me.

-I think it’s Jude. I said smiling.

-Ahhhh. She said nodding in understanding.

We arrived in the corridor, and like I presumed, Jude was standing in front of the Ravenclaw’s dorm, talking with…

-Why is he everywhere I go? I said rolling my eyes at the sight of Jungwon. But then remembering, I had to thank him, for the Cole incident.

Sarah chuckled, which gained the attention of the boys deep in a conservation. Their head snapped at us in surprise, and a smile broke on Jude’s face.

We approached them and Jude came closer to me, under the curious gaze of Jungwon, one of his eyebrows quirked.

-Hey y/n! Said Jude excitedly.

-Jude! I said with as much energy. It’s nice seeing you again.

-Yeah, it is. He answered shyly. I saw you this morning at breakfast but really quickly so it doesn’t count.

I let out a small chuckle and nodded.

Jungwon was still on the side, looking at us curiously and Sarah also said hi to Jude, before asking him if he knew Anna, after describing her.

-Oh yeah, she’s in the common room, do you want me to get her for you? He asked softly.

-Yes please Jude, that would be really nice. I said turning to him.

He nodded and opened the door, engulfing himself in the common room, the door closing behind him in a loud thud.

I looked at Sarah and there were a few seconds of silence, before we both turned to Jungwon, a few feet away from us, who started talking.

-You know Jude? He asked us.

-Me not really, Y/n yeah, they’re friends. She said in a breath.

-Is that so? He said turning to me, an eyebrow quirked.

-Yes, why? Do you mind? I answered crossing my arms.

He let out a small chuckle before shaking his head no.

-I don’t.

-Great then, there’s no problem between us.

He looked back at me frowning, and Sarah was looking at us on the side, her eyebrows raised, ready to take a bag of popcorn to enjoy the scene.

He stopped frowning and there was a slight smirk on his face, one of his dimples showing.

-This year is gonna be… amusing. He said tilting his head.

-Right. I said scoffing. It’s gonna be really amusing when Hufflepuff wins the Quidditch season.

He raised his eyebrows at that.

-Oh, because you plan on applying to be in the team?

-Maybe, if it can piss you off. I said smiling.

He was going to get back at me, before the door opened, startling us all. Jude came out all smiley, unaware of the situation that took place just before his interruption, Anna behind him.

-Hey girls. She said to us.

Sarah cleared her throat and grabbed Anna’s arm on one side, mine on the other.

-Well, we got to get going guys, it was… interesting seeing you. She said with a small chuckle, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes at her and turned around to wave at Jude.

-Bye Jude, see you tomorrow! I said with a small smile. He returned my wave before turning back to Jungwon, who was still eyeing me, a playful glint in his eyes.

As we were making our way to the dungeons, my arm still linked to Sarah’s, I felt a tap on the back of my head.

-Ouch. I said rubbing at the spot, looking over at Sarah who was looking at me with a mischievous smile. What was that for?

-What was that huh? That whole scene with Jungwon up there? She asked me in a teasing tone of voice.

-Nothing, this is actually the most we ever talked since I got here. I said rolling my eyes.

-Hmmm, I’ll keep an eye on you two. She added chuckling, before I shook my head at her, a small smile on my face.

We arrived at the dungeons and opened the heavy door. Violet was standing there in front of the kitchen, dancing from one feet to another while waiting for us, a heavy cooking book in her hands.

She lifted her head upon hearing the commotion of the door against the brick wall and smiled at us.

-Finally you found Anna, I thought you guys got lost or something. She said chuckling and looking at her watch. Five minutes late, I’ll let it slide this time. She said jokingly.

-Yeah sorry, we got a bit… held back by something. Said Sarah eyeing me with a playful look.

She got close to Violet, telling her we’ll talk about it later, putting her arm around her shoulder.

Violet knocked on the kitchen doors, waiting for an elf to open.

I was behind them with Anna by my side, who was really excited about the idea of going to the kitchens for the first time.

The door opened and an elf asked us why we were here. Violet insisted on doing all the talking, and surprisingly the elf agreed to let us in, under one condition.

-You and your friends will make pie for the elves as well.

We all eagerly nodded and promised we would make one for them too, so that they could eat it when their shift would be done.

The first step in the recipe for the cherry pie was to make the dough. We split the tasks to be quicker, Violet was pitting the cherries, Sarah was preparing the oven and trying to find the needed utensils scattered all across the kitchen and I was with Anna starting the dough preparation.

The elves were doing their business and eyeing us from the corner of their eyes from time to time, making sure we weren’t burning up anything. Not even five minutes in the kitchen and there was already flour everywhere. However, we managed to pull an acceptable dough, and rolled it on the counter before putting it neatly in the mold. Violet then put all her focus in filling the pie with the cherries.

-Are you sure you took all the pits out Vi? Wouldn’t want to choke and die because of pie. Said Sarah unsure, looking between Violet’s eyes and the pie.

-Don’t worry Sarah, I took all of them out… I think.

We looked between each other, sharing awkward smiles before bursting into laughing and deciding to put the pie to cook anyway, hoping that Violet did take all the pits out.

In the meantime our pie was cooking, we decided to start cooking the other pie, the one the elves asked us to make for them, in exchange of having the right to stay in here.

After going around and asking the elves what type of pie they liked or fruits we should put in it for them, we settled on cooking an apple and cinnamon pie.

After a few hours of hard-work, our two pies were finally done and ready to be tasted. We happily brought our pie to the elves, who inspected for a few minutes before ushering us to go out of the kitchen with our pie, before anyone would notice we were in there.

-That was fun! Said Anna holding the pie in her hands and eyeing it, the urge to taste it noticeable on her face.

-Yeah, expect when Sarah threw flour at us. Responded Violet, wiping the remaining of flour on her clothes off.

I looked at them chuckling and taking the flour off my hair, reminding me that Violet did indeed throw flour at me as well, in a euphoric state.

We all settled in going back to our dorms, sneaking Anna in even if she wasn’t allowed to.

I sat on my bed with a sigh, while Violet was taking plates out off her stuff, and I got spoons out my pockets.

-Where did you get these spoons y/n?

Asked Sarah while eyeing the spoons in my hands, a curious expression on her face.

-Stole them in the kitchen.

I said plainly, to which the girls got shocked before they chuckled a bit.

-Isn’t that the same girl who said she wasn’t going to get into trouble this year?

Said Violet teasingly, to which Sarah nodded.

-I think it is Vi.

I chuckled and shook my head.

-It’s alright, it’s spoons.

-Talking about troubles and drama, care to explain to Vi and Anna what happened with Jungwon earlier?

Said Sarah looking at me playfully.

I hummed and started telling Anna the whole story of our interactions since the beginning, before adding the last part that just happened this afternoon earlier for both her and Vi.

-Jesus, said Vi, you’re both on some heavy competitions.

Anna chuckled and nodded.

-You know what they say tho, people who hate each other always end up making out at some point.

I choked on a piece of pie, and shook my head.

-Jeez Anna, don’t say things like that while I’m eating.

-She’s got a point tho.

Claimed both Sarah and Violet, amused.

I groaned and rolled my eyes.

-No she doesn’t, who even says that?

-Denial is the first step y/n.

Said Vi, putting a hand on my shoulder, before the three girls started to laugh. I shook my head, but still a smile cracked on my face.

-You guys are stupid.

I said amused, as we all chuckled and enjoyed our freshly baked pie, and our new friend group.

[secretaccountlol]

“Occasionally, we don’t get to finish dinner.”

This is part 3 of food days, please click on my profile for part 1 and 2!

18+ no minors! Thanks.

Im so sorry that I haven’t been posting any new fanfic, I’ve just been a horrible art-block. I literally tripped my way thru this whole fic until the end haha. Food days is a comfort fic for me so it’s first I go to when I need to learn how to write again.

are you ready for some turbo angst?

Cw time: angst, a lot of it! Stalking, mentions of harassment, talks about readers former life (as a sex worker nothing graphic) , reader down playing her own trauma, self sabotage n self doubt. Fingering and unprotected sex. Oh! And typos :)

Your reblogs And comments are much appreciated.

3946 words.

Enjoy.

You grab one of the meal prep kits you made out of the fridge, Peter’s eyebrow quirks as he watches you put it in your bag.

“Where are you going hon? It’s not a work day?”

You hum as you grab a bottle of water, “Oh, I forgot to tell you.. I’ve been taking nurse classes.”

You turn to face him, you smile as Peter’s face is dumbfounded, “Why?“

“Uhm, because my boyfriend is a superhero? And he loves to get hurt and refuses to go to a hospital and I can only do so much with the basics- should I go on?”

You grip your bag handles as Peter’s face grimaces, “You don’t have to do that for me..” you sigh as you bend down to slip on your shoes, “Peter, how do you think I feel every time you come home, bleeding out and all I can do is try not to cry as I apply pressure to your wound?” Your eyes lift to meet his eyes, his lips are pressed into a thin line. Your hands grace the knob of your front door before you can turn it you feel Peter’s hand's ontop of yours.

“I’m sorry” Peter’s voice is low in your ear as you let your eyes trace his upper body to his face, though his face was serious, his eyes Fien guilty. “It’s fine, Pete. But I’m not the type to be helpless, or useless for that matter.”

“You’re not useless” Peter’s head moves to the side like a puppy. Your lips press into a thin line, “Plus, It can be useful to know this stuff just for everyday life, just in case. Never know when someone will have a stroke or a heart attack, you know?” Peter’s eyes piercing yours makes you gulp.

“Okay…”

You nod, turning away again, Peter’s hand grabs your wrist twisting you back to face him, “Peter, I’m going to be-“ his lips smash into yours, your hands grip his shirt as he roams your body. His tongue whirled against yours as he pushed you against the door, you try to pull back but Peter captures your lips again making you whimper.

His lips finally release yours, as you try to catch your breath

“P-peter please, I’m gonna be late!” His lips trailed down your neck, giving little love bites.

“I-I’m sorry.. I didn’t- God, I can’t control myself around you..” Peter’s eyes stay glued to your lips, before moving away uncaging you between the door, fixing your clothes as he sniffs.

“I meant to give you a kiss, g-goodbye but uhm.. I-I got carried away” Peter’s hands rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke averting his gaze from yours.

“Yeah, you did.” You speak flatly as Pete’s eyes lower in shame, you feel your heart tug.

You lift his chin, kissing his cheek then giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“It’s much appreciated though, I’ll be back soon.”

Peter waits for a moment, watching you cross the road before scrambling to put on his suit, He was out the window in seconds.

He knew he shouldn’t follow you, he knew you’d be pissed but he couldn’t help it. I mean what was the harm of making sure your girlfriend gets to her Destination safely, wasn’t like he was stalking her,

Cus it’s like chivalry or whatever.

His hands gripped the side of the building before leaping off in the direction you turned, he never realized how quickly you walked when you were trying to get somewhere. He watched as your legs switched left and right, as your head did the same watching out for potential dangers.

You captivated him, you made him swoon, The way you looked at him, the way you snored in your sleep, all of you just made him drool.

He sighs as he watches you grab a quick snack from the small stands that line every New York street before you make your way toward the above line station. His webs shoot onto the top of the train, he crouches to avoid being seen, He felt a strange sense of deja vu hanging on a train.

Soon he watched you run off the train recklessly jogging down the stairs before breaking into a mad dash down the street, if he wasn’t web-slinging he would have definitely lost you.

He chuckles softly as he watches you catch your breath before smoothing over your clothes and walking inside the mystery building.

He could feel the weight off his shoulder, you were safe, now he could leave. But, what about when you get out? What if someone hurt you when you left- no he couldn’t let that happen, not again.

Peter’s hands rest above his head, “Breath, Pete, breathe.” He could feel his body trembling as he took deep breaths, his hands slowly came to his side.

“God, I am so pathetic.” Peter’s hands smash into his eyes before blinking then pulling out his phone.

Me: Hey babe! Wanted to make sure you made it safely.

My love: Hi, yes I made it safely. Thanks for checking on me.

Me: Yay! Do you wanna get lunch when you get out?

My love: sure that sounds good.

Me: :C whyyy you type it like that, do you not lubbb spending time with meee?

My love: I love spending time with you, Peter. You know that.

Me: yeah I know.

Me: what time should I pick you up?

My love: 3:00 pm Gtg class is starting, please don’t worry about me so much, I have a taser for a reason.

Me: Can’t help it, see you at 3:00.

Spidey straightens up, “Enough moping spider, you got a job to do!” With that, he took a leap.

-

Spider-Man checked his watch, 2:00 pm..

“Well, might as well be early..Sorry to leave you hangin’ but I have a date with a smokin’ hot babe!” Peter’s words pierce the webbed criminals with anger as he swings away, making sure to swipe some chocolates on the way.

A quick change in the alleyway, and he stood in front of your building at 2:30 pm, tapping his foot to an invisible melody.

A sudden ring of his phone makes Peter scramble to answer it.

“Hey, baby!”

“Hey, Peter. I’m probably going to be late- the classes ended earlier than expected- Peter?”

“In the flesh, with chocolates!” His hands extend to you holding out your favorite sweets as your mouth is ajar.

“Peter…” You slowly hang up on the phone, sliding it into your purse.

“Yes, my love?” Peter’s cheery voice set you off even more.

“Peter, I never told you where my nurse class took place.” You watch as Peter’s face morphed into horror.

“Peter, d-did you follow me?”

“I-..I can explain?” Peter’s voice was just above a whisper, as his eyes cast downwards.

You sigh as you straighten up, “I guess this means we’re getting food to go..”

-

Your ride home with Peter was silent, all the way up to the front steps of your apartment.

“I don’t.. have my key on me cus I used the window..” Peter’s voice barely broke the silence, you just nod and open the door.

Silence once more as you both set the living room table of food, it’s a practically tradition now. The table was now deliciously decorated with various side dishes and fajita meats.

Each of you reaches for a Tortilla, fingers gracing each other’s hands.

“Sorry”

“M’sorry”

You and Peter’s eyes lock onto each other, hands still hovering over the tortillas.

“Peter..”

“Yes..?”

“I-..I’m” your eyes scan his face, he looked like a hurt puppy. His lips in a slight pout, puppy eyes attached with tears, a new small cut dons his slightly bruised lips.

God, he looks so cute right now. You clear your throat, focus.

“Peter, I-..I’m not that upset at you, you know?” You sighed, your eyes cast down at the food again.

“Yo-you’re not?”

“I-…I understand why you did it, you’re a superhero. People want to hurt you, which means people also want to hurt me” you pause, eyebrows arching, what a sobering thought.

“So- I know why, you wanted to protect me, make sure I got there safe.” Your eyes met his again, Peter’s body was practically hanging on to your words.

“But, you know how I feel about my privacy and how I feel about being… w-watched unknowingly.” You could feel your emotions well up, tears stinging. “I-I ..just wished you’d talk to me about it..” you sucked in air through your teeth, stay strong, don’t cry if you cry he won’t take you seriously, he’ll say you're overreacting, he’ll say you didn’t give him a choice.

“Have I been unreasonable or so weak? For you to undermine me like this, Peter? Have we not always talked things out, hm? I mean you know how scared I am when you go out there! But I don’t follow you around, do I?!” Your words came out in a hiss, venom coated your tongue, it made you want to gag.

Peter whispered your name, softly grasping your hand before you pulled away. “I didn’t mean to undermine you, it-it was totally spare of the moment and I’ve never followed you before, this was the first time, I swear.”

You bite your lip, feeling the metallic taste fill your mouth, “why’d you do it?”

“I-..” you watch as Peter’s eyes search your face, his eyebrows knitted together.

“I’ve.. lost some people, family…friends, lovers- because I wasn’t- I wasn’t attentive enough, and ..some bad people.. took them from me. I just- wanted to make sure you got there safe, hun.” Peter's watery eyes made contact with yours, you felt vile.

God, how could you be so selfish? “I-..I’m sorry, Peter. I didn’t know.” You whispered, you couldn’t look at him anymore.

“Hey, it’s okay. I mean I-I never told you about it, so don’t feel bad. You’re right I should have said something about it..but hey, we should eat before our food gets cold.” The warmth in his voice returned, yours did not.

“I..I’m not hungry anymore, I’m gonna go lay down. Please eat though..” You spoke softly as you rose from the floor, slowly walking into your room.

Your hands shook as you closed the door.

Why? Why? Why were you like this?

“What the fuck is wrong with me..?” You muttered.

Peter cares about you, he’s never once been mean or said hurtful shit to you, never once argued but you have to go and try to fuck it up. You remember your therapist saying that self-sabotage was a thing but you’d never thought you’d do it to Peter, Spider-Man of all people.

You let your fall back onto the door, hard. Before undressing to fall into the bed, clothes thrown whatever to the floor, you didn’t care where. Soon you were just in your underwear.

Usually, you like to fill the whole bed with your body, and stretch out. you felt like you needed to take advantage of it, plus it was fun, made you feel like a little kid again. You never had a big bed growing up, and your adult years weren’t much better, until now.

Something about being in the Fetal Position made you feel weak, tiny, and insecure.

“Stupid..” you sighed. Huddling yourself to the corner of your bed.

“What’s stupid?” You felt the cover dip as he spoke.

“Nothing thinking out loud” you sniffed, sinking under your blankets more, you didn’t want him to see your tears, to see you weaken.

The covers began to shift, cracks of light poked yours before you gripped them, closing them shut.

“No.”

“..I-“

“I don’t want to get up right now..”

“I’m not goin’ to make get up, I just want to see your face..”

“No.. I don’t want to see my face either.”

“Why? I love your face.”

“Because.. I-I just don’t want to, Pete. Please..”

You wanted to finish with “leave me alone” but you couldn’t cough the words up in time.

You couldn’t feel him next to you anymore, you sighed in relief, sniffing. You needed to be alone, you deserved to be alone, you sniffed again as your tears started to flow.

You felt the cold air hit your back freezing you in place, soon your body felt a warm wall against it.

Fingers brush against your waist, sending tingles down your spine.

His lips grace your shoulder, “I’m not mad at you.” You bite your lip, scooting away from his touch only to get swallowed by it again.

His arms wrapped around your waist pulling you completely to his chest, “Mm, nope. I’ll be here as long as I need to be to make you smile again.”

You sniffled, “I’m sorry..” you sob as Peter peppered kisses down your skin.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You squeaked out, “I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn't, it's okay.”

“I’msoselfish, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“You are not selfish, it’s okay.”

“Please don’t leave me, I’m sorry. I’m sorry”

“I’ll never leave you, never.”

Your sobs turned slowly, whispers, then hiccups as you slowly drift to sleep.

-

“Baby..babe” your eyes flutter as you groan.

“Pete?”

“Mornin’.” His hands brush your cheek as you stare up at him.

“M-morning?”

Peter’s thumb softly rubs the sleep from your eyes, kissing your forehead. “Sleep well, love? I got you some tea for your throat.” You sat up as you grabbed the tea, staring into the abyss of the cup.

The memories of you being a blubbering mess in his arms last night flood your systems, you felt like shit all over again, tears silently started to slip into your cup.

“I’m sorr-“

“No.”

You shudder looking up at Peter, his eyes were a brown ocean.

“But I-“

“Stop” his hands gently taking the tea from your hands.

“Peter, please- I just-“

His lips pressed against yours gently, like you were glass.

“You don’t need to tell me more about your past, at least not until you're comfortable enough.” Peter's thumb stroked your lip.

“I-I am comfortable..” your hand wraps around his, kissing his palm. “I want to tell you..”

You watch as Peter chews his lip, “Okay..shoot.”

“I..well. I-I had this customer, he was a regular. S-sometimes we wouldn’t even have sex.. we would just talk, it was nice.” You smiled picking at your fingers as you talked. “He was always so sweet and a little awkward but we all were once, y’know? But I always thought it was a bit strange that all his dates would fall flat. He would say, ‘oh they weren’t the right one’ when I asked. Soon, he asked me out on a date. It was okay, I had fun but he asked me to stop doing sex work which was my only job so of course I said no. I thought that would be it, y’know?”

You sucked in air, “ Of- of course it wasn’t though, to make a long story short. He started stalking me, showing up at my apartment, breaking my windows, even showing up at other clients' houses to harass me. Luckily, some of my customers were well off, bless them. They helped me with the harassment case and even got some of the other girls to testify. He’s been locked up ever since. ” Your eyes peeked at his, “Please don’t think less of me..” your eyes drifted back down to your fingers.

“I would never, you know that.” Peter’s gentle voice made you glance at him once more, watched as his lips trembled and his eyes watered.

You sigh, “ I mean it wasn’t that serious- I-I didn’t get rap-“

“Stop. Stop downplaying your struggles!” Peter’s sudden uptick in voice made you tremble, his eyes softened, lowering his voice. “Stalking is a very serious thing and clearly it caused you trauma. You don’t have to be strong with me, you’re allowed to be weak and You’re allowed to cry.” Peter’s hands cup your cheeks, “Being a couple means being vulnerable, with each other. I-I’ll try as long as you do too.” Your eyes softened as he spoke.

“O-okay.”

“Can I kiss you?” Peter’s lips hovered just above yours

You could smell his minty breath.

“Yes please.”

Kisses lips slotted against yours, hands sliding up and down your torso. “P-Peter.” Your hands fiddle with his shirt.

“Yes, love?” He grins as he speaks, “I-I-! Can we ..y’know?” His eyes flicker to your lips then back to your eyes as you speak, smirking.

“I don’t know, mind telllin’ me what’s on your mind?” His voice was low as he licked his lips, god you hated when he did this.

“Peeeteee! Don’t make me say it!” You whined, your hands picked at the hem of his shirt,

“I can’t know what you want if you don’t tell me.” His fingers rubbed circles in your skin as teased you.

“I-I wanna.. have …sex, please?” Your voice was barely a whisper, your eyes trained on the floor.

“Ooh, she has manners. Such a good girl” his hand gently tipped your face up toward his.

“Of course, we can have sex, thought you’d never ask.” Peter chuckled.

His hands roamed your body, “Lucky me I don’t have to take any extra clothes off, straight to business. “ he snapped your waistband, making you squeal then focused on his shirt and pants.

“I love you.” Peter’s eyes connected with yours, “ I know”

“Do you now?” Pete’s chuckles warmed your heart as he climbed on top of you. “I’ll really make sure you’ll understand tonight.” His words sent a shiver down your spine.

Peter’s hand slipped into your panties, pawing at your clit you sigh at the soft contact.

“So pretty.” Peter’s gentle circles matched his voice, “Do you mind takin’ your bra off for me, love?” You simply nod, pulling off your bra before covering your chest.

“Can.. we turn off the light?”

“Why would we do that?”

“Cus- I’m embarrassed..” you could feel the sweat forming on your skin as you stared into his eyes.

“Mm, why?” Peter’s free hand slipped between one of your hands covering your chest to fondle one of your boobs.

Your mouth makes shapes but only little noises come fluttering out, you pout as Peter laughs at you.

“No worries, I getcha” he winks as your eyebrows pinch together. “Then why'd you ask?!” fake irritation in your voice.

“Cus I like messin’ with ya.” his nose bumping yours slightly as he captures your lips. His hands traveled down again to your panties, pulling them swiftly down as his lips bombarded yours.

You pull away for air, “Pet-” you groan as his fingers enter you slowly, abducting your will to speak. “Sweetest sound I know.” Peter’s eyes were lowered with lust as he picked up the pace. Your pants became more vocal as his fingers pumped, “I-ah! Peter- plea-!” Your hands wrapped around his wrist, you could feel your legs going haywire.

“Please what? God, you’ve never been this sensitive before. Is it because we haven’t done it in a while?” You arch as he spoke, unable to answer him, trying to desperately move his fingers faster, whining at his pace, it was but not fast enough.

“P-please more! Mm- I - can’t!” You threw your head back as his thumb hit your clit in the perfect spot. “Cant cum? Oh, that’s intentional.” His fingers pulled away from your aching hole, your whine of dismay made him vibrate with desire.

“Shh, I got ya” his hands gripped your sides as he lined himself up, letting you adjust to his size. You shake as his cock jerks suddenly, your face no longer controllable.

“See, this is why I can't turn the lights off. I would miss this gorgeous face of yours.” you could feel his cock pulse inside you as he watched your face squeeze together.

“A-shut up, f-fuck me, Pete!” your hands weakly hit his chest as you attempt you grind against his cock, urgent for more friction.

“Aw, so bossy. Your wish is my command!” Peter's lips smacked against yours as his speed made you see stars in seconds. His tongue swallowed yours as you wailed.

“Gonna c-cum already, love?” you nodded as he spoke, tears in your eyes made it hard for you to see his face. “D-don't worry I'll make it even easier for you.” before you could process what he meant, you were screaming his name as he pounded into you.

Your eyes rolled back into your head as you felt his cum spill inside of you, your nails scratching his chest as your head tilted back.

“Oh- God…!” you croaked, eyes fluttering, “ That was..really good Pete.”

“I-I've never come that fast before, I guess I'm a bit sensitive too. “ you chuckle at his bewilderment, tracing circles in his hair.

“Well, it's welcomed. But now I do need to shower to get your cum outta me. So would you kindly remove yourself from me?” you hummed, giving him a smirk.

“I have a gift for you before you do that tho, one sec!” His hands gently helped you off his penis. You watch as he scrambled out the door before producing a teddy bear.

The teddy bear was dressed in spiderman gear equipped with a mask and all. In the teddy’s hands was a box, your eyes lit up.

“I love stuffed animals, Pete! How’d you know?” You faked a suspicious eye.

“Lucky guess I swear.” your hands brush against his as you take the bear into your arms, plucking the box way in its hands.

“What's this?” you hugged the bear pinning it to your chest as you picked at the box, sneaking a glance at Peter who was clearly nervous.

“Oh! Mr. Bear must have grabbed it for you as a gift- you.. should uh, open it!” Peter's hand rubbed the back of his neck.

You giggled as you opened the box, and two beautiful crimson diamonds blessed your eyes. One is a necklace with a dainty gold and white chain the other was a ring with a black band, with amazing little rich blue sapphires surrounding it.

You gasped, “Peter!”

“Before you say anything! I handcrafted everything in a friend of mine's lab, including the diamonds. I got the sapphires from a jewelry store I helped stop a robbery. I-i also made us matching pairs.” you watched as his cheeks redden.

“Peter- It’s lovely. Bu-”

“I-I'm not finished yet. I-...” Peter sighs, “I- put a tracking device in both of our rings and necklaces. You told me you get worried c-cus you don’t know if I’ll come back and I get worried when I can’t be with you all the time. This way we can both ease our worries, plus if you want you can take it off and not wear it if you want! I promise I won’t follow you if you do.”

Your eyes searched his face, his eyes were firm but soft, it made you melt. Your hands took the ring, “So, is this an engagement ring then?” You held it up, twirling it in your fingers.

“If.. you want it to be.” Peter squeaked.

“Mm, only if you put it on my finger.” You grinned as you watched Peter get on one knee, whispering your name.

“Will you give me the honor of being your fiancé?”

“Yes, of course.”

Peter grins as he slips the ring unto your finger, before tackling you to the bed with a bone-crushing hug.

“I love you, Peter Parker.”

“I'm starving, we should eat those leftover tacos.”

Tags: @theorgansarerotting