#umbara aftermath

[tup-ika-5385]

Fic Complete!

Chapter Summary:

Hardcase has been in a bit of a funk lately. After finally being released from medbay, he feels like he’s just treading water, only making himself more frustrated as the shoreline gets farther and farther away. What does recovery even look like for him?

“Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” Jesse mused from his seat in the mess hall, scooting over to make room for Hardcase, who was stubbornly juggling both his food tray and his crutches with a determined frown on his face.

“More like the wrong bed entirely,” Hardcase grumbled before he could stop himself. His left arm was shaking with effort as he moved to set down his tray. A few drops of juice spilled before Jesse could intervene, but Hardcase had insisted on grabbing his food himself and gave him a warning look even as the drink sloshed threateningly when he put it down. He growled in frustration, using a few napkins to mop up the worst of it. 

Jesse blinked at his uncharacteristic response, eyeing him carefully. “You good, vod?”

Hardcase sighed, wincing internally. Even if he was in a bad mood, he shouldn’t take it out on his brothers. “Yeah, sorry Jess…”

It was Hardcase’s second night sleeping in the barracks, and to his unending frustration, his well-loved top-bunk wasn’t something he could get into by himself anymore. Jesse had been more than happy to swap bunks, but Hardcase couldn’t shake the feeling of wrongness pooling in his stomach every time he tried to relax in the lower bunk. Recovery had been so painfully slow, and he’d known it would be, but so many big things had been changing recently. Was it too much to ask for this one thing to stay the same?

Using his good arm, he repositioned his bad arm on the table so it was holding his tray steady. His left hand was mostly recovered, and his elbow could bend by itself without too much trouble, but his shoulder was still stiff and weak in a way that made doing most things difficult. 

At least he could put on his blacks by himself now with minimal assistance from his vode, compression shirt only slightly impeding their fit now that most of his bandages had been removed. Patch had walked him through the steps a couple days ago: dressing his injured limb first, then pulling his shirt over his head, shoving his good hand through the sleeve, twisting it to fit, and hoping for the best. He’d managed to get about 2/3 of his armor on himself, and usually Dogma would help him with the rest, but he’d sensed Hardcase’s mood this morning and wisely thought better of it, meaning Hardcase was only partially kitted up at the moment. 

His armor was another point of contention, now that he was thinking about it. Fives and Jesse had done a great job preserving his armor, and had cleaned it as best they could after Umbara, but his new backplates and shoulder pad were as shiny as… well, a shiny. His arms still shook with fatigue if he held them up too long, which would inevitably ruin his usual meticulous armor patterns if he ever decided to fix them, but he hadn’t even been down to the firing range yet since his injury, so who knows if it’d ever be needed if he couldn’t ever fight again.

“So I was thinking of going to the training room later, if you wanted to join me,” Jesse offered with a carefully casual tone.

Hardcase gave a self-deprecating snort. “So you want me to sit and watch? No thanks.”

Jesse shook his head. “There’s weights and– and other exercises, you know. And if you brought the hoverchair, we could probably adjust the punching bag for you to go a few rounds. You look like you could stand to punch something, vod.”

Hardcase was silent for a moment, mulling it over in his head. He’d been itching to punch something for nearly a month now, but it would be just as frustrating to go and find that he couldn’t do anything. There were so many little tasks that he never used to think about, like putting on his socks or brushing his teeth that he now had to plan out to the smallest detail. And he tried– he tried to put on a brave face, but nothing was the same, and neither was he.

So he hesitated before finally responding, “I dunno… maybe.” 

Jesse gave him a half-smile, accepting his answer for now and pushing down a pang of concern for his brother. “Well, let me know when you decide. I’ve missed my workout buddy.”

“Yeah, me too.” Hardcase responded, returning the smile reluctantly.

_______________

Sitting in a circle in the too-quiet barracks, a couple of troopers from the rehab group busied themselves by playing a game of sabacc. Exempt from duty while they were still recovering, Hardcase and the other injured troopers were left with more free-time than they knew what to do with. 

Thankfully, a few of their brothers were off-duty at the moment, so Attie, Tup, and one of Sev’s batchmates had joined the group, even if Dogma wasn’t playing at the moment. It had been fun getting to know the other troopers recently. They’d had a couple assignments together, but Hardcase hadn’t really had a serious conversation with Nax or Attie before the past month. They had some pretty interesting stories of their time in the 501st. 

Sev was the one who had originally wheedled them into a game of sabacc, especially now that Patch had made Sev a little card-holder so he could play without too much difficulty. The shiny had a surprisingly good sabacc face, earning himself a sizable stash of sweets. Last round, he’d won with a sylop card and a positive and negative seven, canceling each other out for a winning hand. 

Presenting his cards with a grin, he gloated, “What can I say? Seven’s my lucky number.” Cackling, he raised his seven uninjured fingers for emphasis, earning an exasperated sigh from Nax, who had the worst luck of the group.

An atmosphere of easy camaraderie filled the barracks, only to be interrupted by a chirping timer. “Hardcase, time to take your meds.” Dogma said gruffly, barely bothering to look up from his datapad. Ever since being given his new posting, he’d been pretty absorbed in learning all he could. 

Hardcase groaned in annoyance before putting down his hand of cards and leaning over to grab his small container of muscle-relaxers and anti-inflammatories from his bunk. Dogma had already refilled his canteen earlier so he didn’t swallow them dry… again.

Distracted by the group’s lighthearted banter, Hardcase leaned back to grab the container with one hand. For a brief second, he forgot– he forgot that his left arm couldn’t support his weight, even while sitting, and he let out a strangled yelp as it buckled underneath him, quickly followed by a wave of sharp discomfort.

Upper body unbalanced and half-laying on his bad arm, Hardcase hissed in pain as he tried to reposition himself. He screwed his eyes shut and yelled, “Kriff!” 

Reaction half pain and half frustration, he banged his good hand on the floor, startling the group with his outburst. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see one of the bottles of meds spinning slowly across the floor, coming to a stop in front of Attie. 

“You okay, Hardcase? That looked like a pretty good fall.” Tup asked, concerned. He’d noticed Hardcase’s mood this morning too, but it had almost disappeared while they played sabacc, until now, that is.

“I’m fine!” He ground out stubbornly, struggling to get back up on his own. Dogma got up from his perch on a nearby bunk, offering him a hand, but Hardcase batted it away with a growl, insisting on getting back up on his own. Dogma looked briefly conflicted, but relented after another glare from Hardcase.

“There’s pain meds in here too if you need them,” Dogma offered slowly, trying to gauge Hardcase’s response.

“I don’t need pain-meds, and I’m not a kriffing invalid.” Hardcase shook his head, protesting even as he tried to steady his breathing from his half-fall. He tried to ignore the feeling of eyes on him as his cheeks turned red with embarrassment. He hated feeling like this.

The group was silent for a long moment before Nax eventually spoke. 

“... the other day, I slipped in the fresher, completely wiped out. Attie had to drag my naked shebs back up onto the shower chair. It was slippery and embarrassing as kriff.” Nax offered gruffly, giving a half-smile to Attie, who was sitting next to him. “... ‘s okay to need help, and to have off-days.”

Attie responded by nudging him with his shoulder before looking back at Hardcase with understanding, knowing what it was to be broken and then learning to remake himself, even if their circumstances were very different.

Hardcase sighed, anger and self-recrimination fading. Nodding reluctantly, he muttered, “Feels like every day’s been an off-day, lately…”

This time Attie was the one to speak, reaching to hand Hardcase back his meds. “Some battles… they stay with you. Teth was like that. Umbara too.”

Hardcase looked up in surprise, taking the bottle from Attie. It was almost an unofficial rule that nobody talked about Teth, especially around Attie. So for Attie to bring it up himself was pretty significant.

He listened intently as the older trooper continued to speak. “We can’t change it, or stop it from changing us, but we can start to move on… just a little bit.”

Attie took a slow breath, lost in thought. Sometimes he’d think back to those times after Teth, even two years later, remembering “anniversaries” of times that he’d been really bad off. Now, he’d just sit back and marvel at how different he felt, compared to how he did then. Things got better; they really did, and they would for Hardcase too. 

Before he could stop himself, Hardcase found himself asking, “How do I do that?”

Attie gave him a half-smile before shrugging. “Honestly, a lot of it just takes time… but it doesn’t hurt to lean on your brothers, or let them drag your naked shebs off the shower floor, like Nax here.” He elbowed his brother in the ribs, prompting a good-natured grumble.

Hardcase huffed in amusement before sighing. He wasn’t known for his patience, and this whole recovery process had already taken much longer than he wanted it to. But when it came to his brothers, spending time with them and leaning on them for support, he knew how to do that. So he accepted Dogma’s help unscrewing the caps of his medications, giving Tup a grateful smile as he passed out the next round of cards. Thankfully, his vode had more patience than he did, and were willing to be there for him, no matter how long it took.

____________________

Peeking his head into the fresher, Tup finally located his missing batchmate. “There you are, Dogma! Come on, we’re going to miss first-meal!” 

He hadn’t seen much of his batchmate the past couple days, but he’d noticed that Dogma had been a little on-edge. He wasn’t sure if it was his new posting, or the General’s upcoming visit with the rehab group, but he’d been keeping a closer eye on Dogma, just in case.

“In a minute.” Dogma nodded without looking up from washing his hands, gaze laser-focused on the task.

“What are you doing?” Tup had been waiting for him the last ten minutes; usually Dogma left the fresher in less than three. 

“Washing my hands.” Dogma stated redundantly, reapplying soap for the second time since Tup came in.

“Well, I can see that. Why are you still doing it?”

Silence.

“Dogma?”

“… it helps.” 

“Helps what?” Tup's voice took on a concerned tone.

“I don’t know, it just does. Go on ahead, I’ll meet you there.”

Despite Dogma’s dismissal, Tup stayed in the doorway, watching as Dogma’s hands turned red from the hot water. His normally short fingernails were clipped practically down to the skin, but he still scrubbed underneath them like his life depended on it.

“Dogma, I think your hands are clean enough.” He spoke cautiously, like he’d spook his batchmate by calling him out on it.

Dogma’s breath hitched, and finally, he paused his scrubbing, muscles tight under his blacks. Tup took the opportunity to walk to the sink before shutting the faucet off with careful hands. 

Resting his hands on Dogma’s arms, above where he’d been washing them, Tup questioned his batchmate with a quiet tone. “Dogma?”

“… I can still feel it sometimes. Their blood on my hands. Y-Your blood; Krell’s blood…” Dogma’s voice was thready and his eyes refused to focus as Tup guided him to the flimsi dispenser to dry his hands.

Tup gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You never fired a shot at me, vod. My blood was never on your hands.”

Dogma’s voice shook. “B-But I could’ve—“

“And you didn’t, right? It took you some time, but you made the right decision… any blood spilt on Umbara was Krell’s doing and Krell’s alone.” Tup gave Dogma a wobbly smile, trying just as hard to convince himself of that fact, that the troopers he’d gunned down on Umbara weren’t their faults. 

When Dogma still looked unconvinced, Tup brought their foreheads together in a light tap. Tup continued, “Remember what Patch’s been saying? Thinking about doing something is different than actually doing it, especially if it’s something you never wanted to do in the first place. It’s like…” He thought for a moment before coming up with an example.

“It’s like…the other day, I wondered what my hair would look like if I dyed it mustard yellow, like that brother from the 212th with questionable hair decisions. That doesn’t mean my hair will instantly turn yellow, or that I’ll dye it that color in the future.” Tup made a face of disgust, expression exaggerated for comedic effect, earning a small huff of amusement from Dogma.

“Sometimes thoughts are just thoughts, vod. They don’t have to become anything more than that– n-not that your thoughts aren’t important to me though.” Backtracking slightly, Tup gave Dogma a sheepish smile. This conversation broached on a lot of topics that really weren’t his expertise, but understanding Dogma was something of a science itself, and Tup had been training in that since he was decanted.

Dogma, for his part, gave a slow exhale, attempting to calm his racing thoughts as he relaxed in Tup’s hold. He nodded at Tup’s statement and tried to accept it himself. “Y-You’re right… thanks, Tup.”

After a moment, he pulled away, looking down with a grimace to examine his hands, still red with irritation. Tup followed his gaze before making a noise and using one hand to nudge him towards the door. He kept his tone free of judgment as he herded his batchmate down the hall. “Let’s head down to medbay really quick. Should probably get that looked at, just in case.” 

Dogma frowned, but didn’t fight the gentle hand on his shoulder. Sighing reluctantly, he mumbled, “Lead the way.”

______________________

Hardcase grinned to himself from his seat in the rehab room as he listened to the General’s stories. Apparently there’d been a mission where a magnet attracted his metal prosthetic so strongly that it lifted him up off the ground.

That story had nothing on the time Commander Tano found out about the prosthetic. Apparently nobody had bothered to tell her that General Skywalker was missing an arm until a month later, when she woke up at 2 am to use the fresher and found him pulling one of his fingers off to make an adjustment. Her scream had even woken the Captain, Skywalker reported with a grin.

“Hah! I remember that one, sir! I swear between you and the Captain, she didn’t stop hearing about it for a tenday!” Hardcase laughed; he’d only been a shiny when that happened, but it wasn’t the kind of story you forgot.

Looking around the room, he was pleased to see that most of the other troopers had started to relax after the first few tense minutes of the Jedi walking in the door. The chairs were organized in a rough circle, and Hardcase had positioned himself right next to the General, with Patch on his other side. Given the timing of his injury, Hardcase had missed the worst of Umbara, and while he really didn’t need to be there for the prosthetic advice, he hoped his presence would help the more anxious troopers to relax around their General. After all, it wouldn’t be long before they were deployed again, and they’d have to learn to trust the Jedi again.

When he’d first arrived at today’s meeting, Dogma’s entire body had been rigid with nerves. He hadn’t even given a response to their daily check-in. But as he sat across the circle next to Nax, holding one of the stress balls that Patch had scattered around the room, Hardcase noted that he looked a little better than he had earlier, listening with interest instead of looking trapped in his seat.

So far, the General had told a couple stories to put the group at ease, and then gave some general advice on prosthetic maintenance. Apparently he was supposed to put lotion on his residual limb when he took it off at nights, but he forgot often enough that Captain Rex had taken to carrying extra in his pack when they went on campaigns. He’d also mentioned that some people noticed that they sweat more after an amputation, with their overall skin surface area decreasing, making it harder for them to stay cool. Hardcase had grimaced at that part, wondering if he’d have similar issues with his burns.

Finally, he opened the floor for questions, looking patiently around the room. There were a few moments of nervous silence before Sev asked, “So… do you put on your pants first, or your arm first when you get up in the morning, sir?”

A couple troopers groaned in exasperation, but he retorted, “It’s a serious question!”

Anakin chuckled before responding. “Usually I’ll put on my arm first, so it can help. I’ve tried it the other way around before, and it usually gets caught in my robes.”

Another trooper, a shiny, raised their hand to ask a question, biting his lip with nervousness. “Sir, is it– h-how did you get used to it? Living with a prosthetic arm instead of your own? I-I’ve tried to get used to it, but I still can’t– can’t look at it without feeling like I’m part clanker.” He curled in on himself a little, gaze turned away from the prosthetic arm in his lap.

The General’s tone softened as he answered, “For a while, I didn’t. I was really angry; angry at Dooku, angry at Obi-Wan, and at myself. I was restricted to either the temple or the Negotiator for nearly a month, between waiting for the swelling to go down and starting rehab myself. This was at the very beginning of the war; it felt wrong to just sit around or do flimsi-work while my master was out fighting battle droids.”

A couple troopers nodded in agreement, having felt much the same way for the past couple weeks. He continued. “Even after I got my prosthetic, I didn’t really get comfortable with it until after I accidentally short-circuited the thing. It was in the middle of a deployment, so I had to fix it myself if I wanted to get anything done. And once I got started, I… went a little overboard.” He gave a sheepish grin, removing his glove to show it off. Golden chrome and shiny servos greeted the troopers, looking distinctly Skywalker-esque. 

“My arm wasn’t going to grow back anytime soon; not even the Force could manage that. But I started finding ways to live with this one, make it my own.” He gave a reassuring nod to the trooper that had asked the question. 

“I also learned a lot of new ways to do things. Honestly, I probably supplement with the Force more often than most jedi, but if it means I can do maintenance on R2 without needing help every two minutes, I’ll take it. No need to make my life harder just because I’ve always done things a certain way.”

The group continued for about an hour longer than usual, asking questions and chatting as they became more comfortable with their commanding officer. Hardcase listened with half an ear, but he kept thinking about the General’s response and the idea of making his injuries, his disability, his own.

Two days later, Hardcase came into the barracks with a new tattoo, a krayt dragon sprawled across his back and snaking down his arm. He straightened with pride as Tup and Sev gushed over the new tattoo. He’d gotten some advice from the General about the tattoo’s placement and design, and he'd checked with Kix to make sure that it wouldn’t set back his recovery, but as he looked at himself in the mirror that night, he gave himself a confident grin. He always knew it was going to be a cool scar.

[clone-medic-patch]

Summary:

Hardcase thought he knew what he was getting into, sacrificing himself for his brothers. What he didn’t expect was to survive, for Fives to pull him away from the explosions and bring him back down to Umbara. He definitely didn’t expect to be refused medical treatment and to be left fighting for his life. Kix says it’s going to be a long road to recovery, and he’s starting to wonder what “recovery” even looks like after something like this...

[blackkatmagic]

Barriss Offee!

There are scrolls on bloodbending hidden deep in Archives, in the back areas restricted to senior padawans and above, where Madam Nu carefully monitors any withdrawals or changes to the catalogue.

Barriss hadn’t expected to actually find any, even knowing that the Jedi have studied plenty of other Sith bending variations. Something about this one just feels…different.

She stares down at the scroll, at the carefully-laid sketches of positions and stances, hand motions and foot placements. Some ancient Jedi wrote everything down so that the Order could combat the ability in the future, could recognize it. Not so that they could use it.

Barriss wants to use it, though. That’s the only reason that she’s here.

She hasn’t decided yet. Not really. But—the thought is there, tucked away in the back of her mind. The war is going badly, and so many millions of people are dead. So many millions of clones are dead. Barriss is a Healer, and she’s always wanted to be a Healer, but this isn't something she can fix by treating wounded, by patching up soldiers who end up on a pyre twelve hours later. Something needs to change, and the war needs to stop, and the how is getting harder and harder to care about.

Bloodbending will help. The Sith used to use it because its control makes it impossible for a target to use the Force. If Barriss has to do something drastic, the Jedi will try to stop her, so she needs a way to just…make sure they can't.

It doesn’t have to be permanent. She’s not going to kill Jedi. Just…keep them out of the way.

“Commander Offee?” a voice says in surprise, so sudden that it makes Barriss startle. She whirls around, heart in her throat, and freezes at the sight of clone armor, painted with blue like teardrops, battered in a way she hast seen before.

“Tup,” she says, startled, and takes a step forward with one hand already raised, the water pouch at her waist uncorking itself with a snap. “Are you all right? You look like you got dragged through a swamp.”

Tup smiles, maybe a little sheepish, putting a hand up to rub at his armor. “Umbara,” he says in explanation. “Does that count as a swamp?”

“With Master Kolar and Commander Faie to lead you through it? I would think so.” Barriss hesitates, then carefully tucks the scrolls under her arm and reaches out, water flowing up to cover her hand. When she brushes one of the deep scratches on Tup's cheek, the water shimmers, and Tup closes his eyes, leaning into the touch in a way that makes Barriss’s chest feel tight.

“I missed this,” Tup says, and he sounds…tired. Exhausted, like he’s on the verge of collapse. “Your healing. It’s—” He stops short, eyes flying open, and jerks back with red flushing his cheeks. “Sorry, Commander! I just meant—”

Barriss smiles, not able to help it. “It’s all right, Tup,” she says, pitched gentle. “Master Luminara is out with Master Gallia tonight, so I was a little lonely. Would you like to come back to our rooms and keep me company? I already made food.”

The relief Tup feels is heady and bright, and his smile almost matches it. “If I won't get in the way, sir. You're sure?” His gaze flickers down, to the worn old scrolls, and he hesitates. “If you were planning to study, I can just go back to the barracks.”

Barriss’s heart turns over, drops even as it accelerates. The wash of emotion is something like shame, or maybe terror, and she turns, shoves them back into their slot on the shelf before Tup can see the contents. Adrenaline makes her feel shaky, like she’s been caught, and it flickers for an instant, an image of horror on Tup's face if he found out. They met in the aftermath of a bad mission, with a Sith ghost who still had a trace of her old power, and Tup had been so scared of that ability.

Bloodbending is useful, but—if Tup finds out, Barriss can imagine his reaction, and it makes shame twist tight in her stomach.

“Just distracting myself,” she says quickly, turning back. “Master Luminara didn’t leave me any preparation work for the next mission, so I was just poking around in here. Shall we go?”

Tup smiles, and—it’s probably only because he’s so tired that Barriss gets away with the lie. “If you're sure, Commander. I was dreaming about those cakes you made the whole time we were deployed. I think I stayed alive just for those.”

There’s a knot in Barriss’s throat, but she still manages to smile. The traditional Mirialan sweets were a last-minute gift, something she was able to bring Tup right before he was released from medical. A small thing, but—

I stayed alive just for those.

One life, just a little bit brighter, even with the war raging. That’s something. It has to be.

“I’ll make a whole batch just for you,” she promises, and takes Tup's arm to lead him out of the Archives, leaving the bloodbending scrolls behind. At least for now.

[ladylucksrogue]

Masterlist

Hey, I figured it was about time I sat down and put one of these together, as I have a lot of fics and it can be rather confusing, even for me.

I’ve split them into categories, gen, ship fics and series.

I am very much ship and let ship.  I realize that not everyone out there ships the same people.  I am too old and too tired to get into shipping wars and discourse.  I have literally about a thousand other things I would rather do than judge someone based on their shipping preferences.  I don’t block or blacklist or go through people’s profiles to see what they ship.  There is no DNI if you ship xyz or if I find out you ship xyz you will be blocked.  I don’t have time for that.  If I don’t like something I see on someone’s feed, I move on with my life.  That said, I’ll give almost anything a read.  I realize that is not everyone’s cup of tea and I respect that. 

I would sincerely appreciate the same courtesy.  If you see something I have written here and it is not your jam, absolutely fine, no hard feelings.  Please don’t be like, oh, I’d love to read this but it has xyz ship in it, eww.  We’re all adults here.  Fandom is supposed to be fun, let’s keep it that way, shall we?

GEN:

Fox:

A Rock and a Hard Place - Fox is just so done

Everything is Fine - written for Corrie Guard Week, prompt Eldritch

Bly:

Frozen - Bly deals with the consequences of his General getting injured at the beginning of the war

Rex:

Rise from the Ashes - Rex coping with loss during the war

Trust Issues- The aftermath of Umbara

Faking a Smile - Post Kadavo

Not Strong Enough - post order 66 - Rex buries his brothers

Cody:

Surrender- Cody is captured by the Seppies

Trembling - How Cody got his scar

Grieving - the fallout of Umbarra

Wolffe:

This Isn’t Going to Work - Post TBB season 3 - Wolffe’s fall from grace in the Empire

Phantom Pain - A recon mission gone wrong

Last Chance - aftermath of Wolffe losing his eye in the Battle of Khorm

Swept Away - an adventure fic after a mission gone wrong

Betrayal - Order 66

The Future is Blurry, The Past is a Trap - Wolffe has left the Empire. He doesn't have a plan. He knows Rex and more of his brothers are out there, but he doesn't have an idea of where to find them or where to start looking.  Will be continued at some point, I do have the whole story mapped out, I just need to write it. This one is super near to my heart.

Other:

Grief - featuring Fives and Rex

Miscommunication - a command batch cadet fic

No Way Out - Dogma’s fate after Umbara

Confrontation - Rex and Wolffe have a candid convo about Wolffe hiding those messages in Rebels

Broken- in the aftermath of Fives’ death, Rex confronts Fox

Cold Shoulder - the fallout from Broken

Balance - a command batch cadet fic - Alpha-17 meets the command batch

Dilemmas - Cody and Fox centric - both as cadets on Kamino and during the war

Fight or Flight - Set just prior to the Battle of Geonosis - featuring Fox and Wolffe and my explanation as to why Wolffe was stationed on Kamino at the beginning of the war

Ship:

Obitine (Obi-Wan x Satine)

Per Ardua Ad Astra - year on the run - unfinished - on hiatus indefinately.

Solstice - a fun Holiday themed one shot

Blyla (Bly x Aayla)

Lost Battle - set during the war

Left Behind - post order 66 - Aayla survives

The Ghost of You - post order 66, Bly’s chip wears off (PLEASE mind the tags here, this one is very dark)

Where The Lines Blur - A oneshot set during the war

On the Run - post order 66

Foxiyo (Fox x Riyo)

All is Fair - a slightly cracky oneshot featuring nerf guns (rated: E)

Bad Dreams- Fox has a nightmare, Riyo is there to comfort him (Rated: E)

Learning the Truth - Fox survives Vader post order 66

Never See You Again - the continuation and reunion after Learning the Truth (rated E)

Emotion -  A drabble that takes place after Never See You Again - Riyo is expecting

A Cry for Help- Fox deals with a fire in the lower levels

Sleepy Kisses - a drabble

Kiss to the back of the hand - a drabble

Tentative kiss - a drabble

The Stars We Can’t See - a Riyo and Fox get together story, multi chapter, incomplete but will be continued shortly

Trust Me - Riyo finds the idea of binders intriguing - (Rated E)

Date Night - set in the Unexpected fix it universe - Fox and Riyo as parents

The Best Defense - Foxiyo Week 2024, Prompt Self Defense, also the prompt sensory deprivation for Clone Kinktober (Rated E)

The Moon Festival - Prompt Cultural Traditions

Making History - Prompt Elections

Falling for You - Prompt Pick-up lines

Barely Holding on - Prompt support

Hunger - Prompt undercover.  Modern AU Alternate Universe - a vampire fic

Kiss to a scar- a drabble

Bittersweet - post order 66 (Rated: E)

Bells - a fun holiday drabble

Rexsoka (Rex x Ahsoka):

(Please note:  Everything I write of them happens either post Season 7 or Ahsoka is aged up.  In none of my stories is she underage)

Home Sweet Home- a cracky post war, happy AU oneshot (Rated: M)

The Reason - set Post order 66 - in the aftermath (Rated: M)

The Truth Will Set You Free - Pre-relationship (Rated: T)

Drained- set during TBB season 3  (Rated: E)

To Light The Path Forward - set during the Rebellion and features their daughter

Kiss out of Spite - A drabble

Kiss while someone watches - a drabble

Kiss while crying - a drabble

Stolen Moments - a oneshot set sometime after TBB season 3

Rough kisses - a drabble

Codywan (Cody x Obi-Wan)

Lights - modern AU one-shot

Longing - pre relationship, Cody-centric, lots of pining

A Little Too Late - this one isn’t really so much shippy but I’ll put it here - it deals with the aftermath of Obi-Wan’s fake death and Cody sorting his feelings, unrequited love

The Last Time - post order 66, reunion on Tatooine

Accidental Kiss - a drabble

Kiss to a scar pt. 2 - a drabble

Kiss while being carried - a drabble

Wolffe/OC:

Rendezvous - a smutty oneshot at 79s (Rated E)

Kiss to the palm of the hand (Wolffe x Liri) - a drabble

Under the Moon (Wolffe x Liri) weird sithy magic, a werewolf themed fic for Halloween

Wolffe/Ventress:

Dance in the Darkness - a smutty oneshot.  Hate sex.  There’s really not much other than that.  I wrote this because no one else had.

Tech/Phee:

Baking Cookies - a fun holiday fix-it on Pabu

SERIES:

Holiday Drabbles - Many of these are set in my fix-it universe, or Unexpected-verse and feature family oriented feels, how the characters families grow.

Unexpected-verse: 

This series centers on Wolffe and my OC Liri  There are other couples that make appearances as well as it is at times very ensemble.  This is very much a canon divergent fix-it series.

Unexpected:

Fanart and character design of Liri can be found here and is done by the fabulous @anstarwar

Wolffe never expected to fall for anyone. It just wasn't something he'd do. Until it happened.

How does he deal with it? Not well. Meanwhile, everyone around him is trying to figure out what exactly is going on with him.  First of the series and introduces my OC Liri Arkay.

Next in the series, in order:

Spontaneous (Rex/Ahsoka, Foxiyo) Includes fabulous fanart by @nottonyharrison

Stunning

Revelation

Out of the Blue (Wolffe/Liri, Rex/Ahsoka)

Shockwaves

Changes

A kiss while on or both parties is crying - Introduces Mira, Wolffe and Liri’s daughter and includes beautiful fanart by @sleepingsun501 of Wolffe meeting his newborn daughter for the very first time.

Dividers courtesy of @moosgraphics @freesia-writes @panda-writing and @saradika-graphics

[antianakin]

I can't help but feel like laughing any time someone tries to argue that TCW was SUCH an adult show and then points at Umbara as their big example of why.

Guys. Umbara was FOUR EPISODES. Out of ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE.

At BEST, TCW skimmed the surface of some darker topics. Kids' shows DO THAT, especially shows aimed at a teenage audience and not, say, an elementary school audience or younger.

If TCW were an adult show, Umbara would've BEEN the show. The whole story would've been like Umbara: dark, heavy, serious, and focused on ONE FUCKING TOPIC.

If TCW were an adult show, there would've been episodes that led up to Umbara to help really delve into the clones' situation and how they feel about it and their feelings about their position in society and their relationships with each other and with the Jedi. And there would've been episodes AFTER Umbara that dealt with the emotional aftermath of it, too. We would know what happened to Dogma, we might've seen the others actually trying to FIGHT to save Dogma from whatever fate he was sentenced to, we would see how Tup and Fives and Jesse all feel about it, we'd see the impact of Rex's choices on his position as a leader among his men and how it changes his relationships with them. We'd see how these events impact the 501st and 212th's feelings about the Jedi as a whole and probably their relationships with their Jedi in particular. We'd have seen how this probably is what made Tup and Fives become closer friends to help lead into the biochip arc later and make THAT more emotional, too.

Like I love Umbara, too, but that's because it is one of MAYBE two or three well-written arcs in the entire show, but it's not even all that narratively relevant because nothing ever happens as a direct result of this arc, it doesn't actually cause anything important to happen or change the status quo for any of the characters (the biochip arc is arguably the only truly narratively relevant storyline in the entire show since, while it doesn't change the status quo, it DOES change the explanation the audience had for why the clones turn on the Jedi which changes the perspective on the clones and their relationship to the Jedi). The character who arguably changes the most as a result of the Umbara arc was introduced in it and written out at the end of it, so that development changes nothing and goes nowhere.

Umbara IS a good, compelling story, but it is NOT a good example of TCW being an adult show because a real adult show would have handled that SO DIFFERENTLY and not remained so surface-level in its writing of a darker storyline.

[warsamongthestars]

One of the most interesting things about TCWs Rex's character arc struggles is that, he's constantly put into contrasts.

Rex, as we know him, stands to be the main representation of a Clone Trooper. He's the first major named CT Character, that isn't Commander Cody, who doesn't have any ties to the films (Unlike Commander Cody), and thus can act and be written with far more freedom to explore.

[ You can't write Commander Cody too much by the end of the day, because one, years of expectations weigh, and two, he still has to shoot Kenobi at the end of everything. ]

Rex has two major conflicts in his arc, that represent the three defining points of clone troopers:

Loyalty to their Brothers

Loyalty to the System

Loyalty to themselves

Let's have some examples.

Our first major touch up with this, is the exact Opposite of all three: Sergeant Slick.

He is not loyal to his brothers (And gets a lot of them killed, whilst blaming the Jedi), he is not loyal to the system (He's a traitor), and he's not loyal to himself (He will make a lot of claims... which are unsubstantiated, because he gets a lot of people killed for purposes of greed and perceived slights).

This one is your easy Villain. Its easy to see, via Slick, that Loyalty to Brothers, Systems and Self is very simple.

But TCWs takes it a step further into complication.

Cut Lawquane, a deserter, is not loyal to the system (because it certainly isn't loyal to him), is loyal to himself, but is neutral when comes to brotherly loyalty.

( I say neutral, because he was willing to slay Rex if it meant staying free and his family safe. He did stop, because he's true to himself, and the self he wants to be isn't someone who kills people... Its just that sometimes, what is wanted, and what it is needed, isn't always the same thing. )

This is the first major bang up to Rex's Character Arc, because now we have a decent enough brother who is absolutely Not Loyal To the System that Rex is. And eventually, Rex lets him go, showing that while Rex is Lawful Good--he leans more towards good, whilst still retaining lawful plausibility.

This step slapped Rex, but it was a surprise he could easily, just simply, file away and not think about too hard. Deserting is going to happen when you're in an army of millions, and if they're off to be farmers instead of soldiers, well that's okay and a very nice thought.

The real kicker was Umbara.

One could argue that the Lola Sayu Mission should've hit Rex, but instead of Rex, it hit Fives the hardest (And with good reason). It's probably why there was an implication of a fallout between Lola Sayu and Umbara ("Just like Old times, Rex.")

And Fives becomes a contrasting challenge:

Loyal to Self

Loyal To Brothers

Neutral to Disloyal to System

Fives would bend the system until it breaks if it meant saving his brothers and more. He's the Chaotic Good to Rex's Lawful Good.

Rex is painfully upright and loyal to the system, so when one of his best and closest brothers decides "fuck this", it shakes him up.

Especially when Rex is finally confronted with how rotten the System gets: by General Pong Krell.

To contrast the contrast, on other side of Rex is Dogma, who is Fives' opposite. The Lawful Neutral.

Loyal to the System above all Else.

Neutral to Disloyal to Brothers.

( It does not help that Anakin Skywalker only recognizes Lawful as being Obedient rather than "adherence and or comfort to a code or set of rules" and thus draws more parallels between Rex and Dogma, than Rex and Fives. )

The Umbara Arc throws Rex through the whole loop, with all its conflicts. Especially the challenges it would make to Rex's whole character and showing him how far things can go.

Until finally, Rex finding what lines to draw in the dirt when it comes to "Loyalty to the End".

... But not enough to save anyone.

Then comes the Conspiracy arc, and while we don't know Rex's side, we do have implication of the aftermath.

The coverup of Fives' death (Because it would've had to been), by brother no less (Another big thing), and with the chip arc, which Rex did look into--would've put Rex up against someone he could not and would not possibly be capable of working through or against: Anakin Skywalker.

( Obviously for narrative purposes, Skywalker can't be stopped less TCWs became an AU instead )

Rex finds that his closest and brightest was labeled traitor and terrorist for his attack on the chancellor, via the very same bulletin points that Rex's character lives by, and it would immediately put him up against Skywalker.

The reason being, is that Skywalker is close to the Chancellor, and likely told Rex to drop any investigation.

And through speculation based on aftermath episodes... and What we know by this point...

I bet that Rex did not want to lump Anakin with Krell as a "System Problem". Because Rex worked with Anakin, and Rex's character falls in line with Anakin, and to consider Anakin to be part of the problem would go against Rex's character--thus, it is "unthinkable" and much easier to simply... Believe that Anakin has the best intentions.

( Even if that came at the cost of Fives. )

( Even though it would come at the cost of the 501st in the future--Rex only did enough that it would save his Life, and Ahsoka's, but nobody else's. He pays dearly for that comfort in Anakin at the cost of Fives, and the cost of Everyone. )

Moving to S7... and the Bad Batch.

Rex comes up against his absolute Opposite once more--in Sergeant Hunter, and the various Bad Batchers.

We've hit full circle.

Hunter commands a small squad that he pretty much lets do whatever, whilst Rex hangs on commands and commanding. Hunter is Evasive, Rex is Honest; Hunter gets stressed by Command, Rex does not.

Hunter is endlessly snarky, whilst Rex is straightforward. Hunter loses his faith midway through Mission, and Rex does not. Hunter's appearance is against all regulations, whilst Rex is clean shaven.

Hunter wasn't made for command, he just wasn't the stronger personality in the Batch to cause problems, whilst Rex is trained and made to command.

The one thing they do have in common, is loyalty to brothers, and the difference is--Rex doesn't hang on to anyone in lieu of the bigger picture, but Hunter does, existing in the smaller pictures.

( That's the TCWs implication-- If I went into the TBBshow, Hunter would not be coming out nearly as good. )

With the other batchers, Rex comes up against each one being individually against an aspect of his character.

Tech is disloyal to the system, he's as far from any sort of clone soldier you can get, and he's not even dressed for it. Tech comes in as a research first.

Wrecker is disloyal to self, bolstering about his skills and making light of the situation before it crashes on him. His disloyalty isn't a case of selling out--its a case of simply not considering himself in any measure. He puts others above him.

Crosshair is disloyal to brothers. He makes it a point to start shit in the middle of a mission, question authority, making disparaging remarks, and attacking a sense of self. The difference here is that, instead of accumulating falsehoods (like Slick), or physically attacking--he attacks the comforting falsehoods that a clone trooper would take on out of loyalty to brothers, system and self. If you're a brother, why don't you act it. If you cared so much for this one guy, why did you leave him behind. If you were that good in your little system, why did the specialists get called in. ( Crosshair is also a dick, but one can understand why he does things. )

Each Bad Batcher serves as a challenge to Rex's character. They are as far from Lawful as possible--but they are Good.

And then there was Echo.

But Echo doesn't serve as a challenge to Rex's character. If anything, Echo might serve as the "reward" for Rex's character arc. He saved at least one Brother, and one of his closest.

...

Unfortunately, Rex's full character arc wasn't ever really fully realized, because he is, fundamentally, a satellite character for other characters to bounce off of, even if those characters are other Clone Troopers.

( hell, Rex serves to contrast Cody, and neither of those too really had full Arcs )

Its why Fives took more attention in Umbara than Rex. Its why Ahsoka gets off scott free at the end of the day but Rex doesn't.

Its why when certain points of Jedi pop up, particularly that even our main character Jedi aren't really all that Lawful Good and do fuck up and waste a lot of brothers' lives for it, that Rex does not intervene.

Because, his character was never given that development to step in and tell someone to "Hey, stop, you are going to get people Killed."

A full Arc would've allowed that, and he wasn't afforded one.

A post TCWs Arc for Rex to get that Development, to fully understand all he went through and implement it into a new character arc, was implied with Rebel's Rex... but is currently unfulfilled.

( Don't be shocked that I don't consider TBBshow to count. )

But there ya go, a nice sum Analysis on Rex.

[awesomestarfighter]

Whump Isn't Satisfying When It's Not Followed Up On

Another clickbaitey title again, I'm nothing if not consistent.

But I got incensed enough to make another post, so here I am again.

I love the Jedi, and like many fans, one Obi-Wan Kenobi is a huge favorite of mine.

I also love whump. It's one of my favorite subjects to search for in fic.

I do not like how Obi-Wan is whumped in The Clone Wars.

The setup is there, as we see the many, many ways one Obi-Wan Kenobi is whumped in TCW.

. . . But that's it.

That's all the show does to him. It beats him up till he's battered and bruised, and then it just leaves him in the dust.

At the very least it was mentioned he was dunked in the bacta after Landing at Point Rain, but the other examples?

Zilch.

And I know it's an action show, so it doesn't really have time for the much less exciting aftermath.

That would hold up a lot better if we didn't see other characters getting medical attention.

Ahsoka and Barriss, after the worms? Medical bay.

Anakin, after the explosion he held back with his mind and severely injured him? Getting him medical attention is literally the entire drive of the episode, and by the next episode he's still pretty battered.

Mace and Anakin, after they're both pinned under several tons of debris? Medical bay again.

Padme, Ahsoka, Rex, and his brother, infected by a deadly disease? Wheeled away on stretchers because they can't just walk that off.

There might be more examples I'm forgetting, but the point is that when the show goes out of the way to show injured characters getting medical attention, you can't spare a second of thought for Obi-Wan (remember when he's just standing there after Kadavo all bruised and battered? I sure do) then that is a problem.

Specifically, it's a huge problem of Filoni's.

It's not really a secret that he doesn't like Obi-Wan after all. Cody was the only named clone in the movies after all, but we got so little of their relationship in the show. Hell, we got more moments between Obi-Wan and Rex then we ever got between Obi-Wan and Cody.

Even more tellingly, Filoni's an Anakin stan, so of course he doesn't like Obi-Wan. He beats him up and never treats his injuries, he's never mentioned in moments when he theoretically should be (especially Umbara, when he's literally the only other Jedi present on the planet besides Krell) and of course then we have s7, where characters badmouth him and the narrative lets them be right because it's written by Filoni.

I'll always be grateful for the fanfic writers who take the time to write the aftermath of Obi-Wan getting beat up all the time.

When whump is written into something, I want it to be written right.

[lonewolflupe]

A Lupe Of Faith (aLoF) | Masterlist

Welcome to my A Lupe Of Faith masterlist!

This is my very first Star Wars fanfiction, which revolves around my OC Lupe.

The chapters are shifting between Teen and up and Mature ratings (due to several adult content).

You can also find A Lupe Of Faith on AO3.

Chapter overview below the cut.

Last updated: October 15, 2024.

Here you can find the current chapter overview (and TCW/TBB timeline):

42 BBY | Lupe is born on Lothal

40 BBY | Lupe Of Lothal (ficlet) Jedi Knight Plo Koon investigates a report and stumbles upon an unexpected discovery (1.954 | August 2, 2024)

32 BBY | The Phantom Menace (EPI)

22 BBY | ch1 Approaching Storm (First Battle of Geonosis EPII) As the First Battle of Geonosis marks the beginning of the Clone Wars, Padawan Lupe finds herself submerged in the destruction the war brings (2.468 | June 17, 2024)

22 BBY | Battle of Christophsis/Battle of Teth (TCW movie) 22 BBY | Battle of Ryloth (TCW S1E19-21) 22 BBY | Malevolence Campaign (Abregado) (TCW S1E02)

22 BBY | TBA (ficlet) (coming soon)

22 BBY | Skytop Station Campaign (Falleen/Bothawui) (TCW S1E06) 22 BBY | Mission to Rodia (TCW S1E08) 22/21 | BBY Battle of Khorm (comic)

22/21 BBY | Khorm-ageddon (ficlet) After a devastating encounter leaves a hole in the 104th Battalion's ranks, Padawan Lupe is determined to bring some comfort (717 | July 11, 2024)

21 BBY | Second Battle of Geonosis (TCW S2E05-08)

21 BBY | ch2 Over The Top During a relief aid mission, a company of the 104th Battalion finds itself in a tight spot; time for Padawan Lupe to prove herself (5.921 | June 24, 2024)

21 BBY | Battle of Saleucami (TCW S2E09-10)

21 BBY | TBA (ficlet) (coming soon)

21 BBY | Attack on Kamino (TCW S3E02)

21 BBY | ch3 High Fives After Lupe achieves Jedi Knighthood, she finds herself and the Wolfpack in trouble again - but not on the battlefield this time (3.033 | July 1, 2024)

21 BBY | ch4 Pick Of The Pack Now a Jedi General, Lupe gets designated to an unusual squad of clone troopers, as they emerge on their first assignment together (6.200 | July 8, 2024)

20 BBY | Battle of Sullust (TCW S3E12)

20 BBY | ch5 Fives Past Midnight Lupe finds herself in trouble with a familiar face - only to flee the scene to spend some private time together (2.434 | July 15, 2024)

20 BBY | ch6 Shared Skills After an eventful night, Lupe seeks distraction in a training session with her Lone Wolf Squad (2.710 | July 22, 2024)

20 BBY | ch7 Sporting Sabotage The Lone Wolves find themselves on another mission that will test their skills and wit as a team (6.649 | July 29, 2024)

20 BBY | Battle of Lola Sayu/Escape from the Citadel (TCW S3E18-20)

20 BBY | ch8 Fives Days Off (slightly spicy) After a devastating loss, Lupe finds the opportunity to grant a certain ARC trooper some well deserved rest and comfort (5.850 | August 5, 2024)

20 BBY | ch9 Troubling Tension Words spoken - and unspoken - cause a tension that affects the squad during their mission (9.434 | August 12, 2024)

20 BBY | Battle of Mon Cala (TCW S4E01-03)

20 BBY | ch10 Fives O'Clock (NSFW) Between missions and other responsibilities, Lupe and Fives find some rare private time together (and they use it well) (3.137 | August 19, 2024)

20 BBY | ch11 Downfall Of The Sane Mind The Lone Wolf Squad is requested to rescue a Republic Senator (7.788 | August 26, 2024)

20 BBY | Battle of Umbara/Umbara Campaign (TCW S4E07-10)

20 BBY | ch12 Fives More Minutes (NSFW) Torrent Company needs some distraction after Umbara; Fives in particular (5.792 | September 2, 2024)

20 BBY | Liberation of Onderon (TCW S5E02-05) 19 BBY | Bombing of the Jedi Temple Hangar (Coruscant) (TCW S5E17-20)

19 BBY | TBA (ficlet) (coming soon)

19 BBY | TBA (ficlet) (coming soon)

19 BBY | Battle of Ringo Vinda + aftermath (TCW S6E01-04)

19 BBY | ch13 Fives Minutes From Falling Apart During a mission with the Lone Wolf Squad, Lupe's galaxy is shattered (4.485 | September 9, 2024)

19 BBY | A Fox Encounter (ficlet) Commander Fox is summoned to a disturbance and finds himself in a pitiful scene (1.446 | September 9, 2024)

19 BBY | A Part Of The Pack (ficlet) Commander Wolffe makes an attempt at comforting Lupe (2.691 | October 15, 2024)

19 BBY | Battle of Scipio/Banking Clan Crisis (TCW S6E07) 19 BBY | Second Battle of Christophsis (Dark Disciple)

19 BBY | ch14 Inevitability Of The Mind's Abyss Trying to cope with recent events, Lupe remembers she doesn't have to deal with her loss in solitude (3.039 | September 16, 2024)

19 BBY | Battle of Anaxes/Mission to Skako Minor (TCW S7E01-04)

19 BBY | TBA (ficlet) (coming soon)

19 BBY | Battle of Coruscant (EPIII) 19 BBY | Siege of Mandalore (TCW S7E09-10) + Battle of Utapau (EPIII)

19 BBY | ch15 Ascension Of The Mind's Guilt When Lupe finally finds the strength to accompany her squad on another mission, she finds herself in a new mess; one that affects the entire galaxy (6.135 | September 23, 2024)

19 BBY | TBB S1E01 19 BBY | Mission to Mustafar (EPIII) 19 BBY | TBB S1E02-S1E07

19 BBY | ch16 Burial Of The Conscious Mind (NSFW) Whilst searching for clues, an encounter continues to change Lupe's life for the worse (10.687 | October 7, 2024)

Mid-season break after ch16

You can find my OC Lupe's character sheet and general information here.

Lupe is depicted as Jedi Knight during the Clone Wars on her character sheet. Her appearance (including tattoos) changes through the years, so I'll try to get different versions as her story progresses. I'll try to create/design a fitting lightsaber for her as well, some day!

You can find my Lone Wolf Squad (clone OCs) and funfacts here.

Disclaimer/Please bear in mind:

English isn't my first language; I'm sorry if I used any wrong grammar/styles/wording (please let me know through DM so I can improve my writing, thanks!)

I haven't been writing stories in over 10 years, so I'm only just getting back into it (thanks to you Tumblr-folks <3)

I'm really not technical but I'm doing a lot of research for my story (Wookieepedia is my new best friend), but I apologise if anything slipped past me

If any of my tags or ratings are incorrect (or lacking), please let me know (thanks!)

I use Tumblr on my phone mainly, so please excuse my sloppy formatting/layout

[cortosis-ct]

Nightmares - 501st edition

"The—the mission, the one in our dreams… that never ends. The one in our dreams... Oh, brother." -Tup

(Coming from the interpretation of this quote that every clone has a recurring nightmare of his worst mission or battle.)

Rex: It changes often for Rex. There always seems to be something worse waiting around the corner. He already has the nightmare as a cadet. The longnecks putting him through endless check-ups and tests to see if he's worth the investment. Later he dreams about his merciless training. Then there's the first battle of Geonosis. More missions, one worse than the other. Zygerria gives him nightmares about being tortured and abused. After Umbara his nightmare stays the same gruesome battle aftermath of brothers he shot himself, until order 66 comes around. The mission in his dreams doesn't change after that, ever. Always the same ship, always the same words echoing through his head. Good soldiers follow orders. He can still hear them over the screams.

Jesse: He dreams about the Battle of Mimban. He lost two of his batchmates in just one day, both dying in his arm only few hours apart. The mission of his dreams changes after Umbara. It's usually him, often next to Fives but sometimes with another vod, standing at the execution site and staring at a row of blasters while Dogma screams "fire".

Dogma: His nightmare is a training mission, one of the special advanced missions that last for weeks that only the better troopers are assigned to. He's good. His friend is there, too. More reckless than clever. Dogma learns the hard way why rules and regulations are important to follow. He wishes he'd been more keen about it sooner to prevent a needless death. He's reminded of what carelessness can do every day in his sleep.

Echo: He's on Rishi Moon. He sees Droidbait and droids shooting, he hears Cutup's screams as the eel carries him away, he feels the ground vibrate as the base explodes with Hevy still inside. It's Fives' nightmare, too. This changes for them after Lola Sayu.

Hardcase: His first mission. It was a bloodbath, a complete fail with heavy casualties. He was fighting in the first row from beginning to end and saw everything.

Kix: He doesn't dream about a specific mission. The setting is always the same anyway. An improvised field infirmary in a stormy night. There's at least twice as many men as beds, everyone except him is severely wounded and he's alone to save their lives. The faces change. Unknown clones, people he's lost or saved, batchmates, friends, comrades, sometimes even his own general.

Tup: His first mission is his worst. Umbara. It's like jumpscares coming from everywhere. He's shooting, fighting, people around him die. Sometimes he sees his brothers' faces behind the Umbaran masks after shooting them. It's absolute chaos and everything's too dark or misty to see properly until it's too late.

Fives: The citadel. Each night he's back on Lola Sayu and fighting against battle droids with Echo by his side. His twin always dies, sooner or later. Fives doesn't know if he should love his nightmares because he can see Echo again or hate them for ripping him away time and again in the most brutal manner. He always has wakes up when the bomb goes off, soaked in sweat, without Echo.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Wolffe Wagon Wednesday let's gooo - Wolffe and Dogma - not sure how they'd interact, maybe au where Dogma joined the pack instead?

Despite Everything It's Still You

Summary: They call him Dok. It's a diminutive for the etymology from which 'Dogma' was originally derived from. Despite his remaining reservations over his new posting, he's never been happier to hear that particular word cast his way. [Anon I think you got a little confused by the assignment, I was asking for people to pick one of my OC and a canon character so I could figure out interactions between them. But I will concede because I love Dogma as if he were my own blorbo, and because we could always use more Dogma content.]

---

In all honesty, Dogma doesn't expect to survive the looming shadows of Umbara. Correction, he doesn't expect to live in the aftermath of it. He had, after all, made sure to seal his own fate when he'd picked up that blaster and taken aim. Hells, he'd already been in binders. What was one more step towards the noose?

No, Dogma hadn't at all expected to live much longer, after Krell had been felled by his treacherous blood-soaked hands. The weight of his many regret and the crushing guilt making 8 cutting words echo fresh in his mind.

'I hope you can live with yourself Dogma.'

Words he'd ultimately had a response for in the end.

'I don't have to anymore.'

Except he did. Because, as extremely confusing as it may be to him (considering what he knew of the GAR and it's rather unforgiving policies), Dogma was very much still alive. Even though he didn't want to think he was supposed to...

His "transfer" to the 104th is a blur. Not because it was particularly quick or stealthy, but because he's more than a little sure he spent the entirety of it in a shell-shocked state. Dead to the world, staring at infinity, as his brain tried to process and compartmentalize the entirety of his world coming undone. The horrors he'd faced. The horrors he'd helped to unwittingly orchestrate.

One minute he's in the brig, the next he's standing in front of Commander Wolffe. In the older clone's right hand a datapad full of instructions that he would follow to a T, and the left one resting easily on Dogma's own shaking shoulder.

He'd been crying then. Disgracing himself further in front of his superior officer. The thought made him a little sick with shame to this very day. But maybe not as much as it used to...

The first days as a member of the 104th are also a blur. Not because he's back to disassociating, but because there's just a lot to take in. Many things he has to learn and acclimate to.

It goes like this:

He is CT-7023, otherwise referred to as Dokeî (pronounced like 'okie dokey smokey', according to a grinning Comet). He's a new transfer that came in with the last shipment of Shinies, to replace some unfortunate casualties the Wolfpack had recently suffered. He is the 104th's reserve medic in training, which means he will be assigned medbay work on-board of one of the fleet's venators rather than field work. He will never again see a battlefield or flinch in horror at the sound of a lightsaber, unless circumstances give the 104th no other choice but to throw him to the lion's den. He is everyone's little brother, the newest pup the join the pack, and he is loved. When they tell him all this, they mean it too.

They call him Dok. It's a diminutive for the etymology from which 'Dogma' was originally derived from. Despite his remaining reservations over his new posting, he's never been happier to hear that particular word cast his way...

It's not thrown at him the same way Dogma was. Like it tasted filthy in the mouths who spat it out, or as if it were a most profane curse. A slur of sorts. One he'd done his best to turn into something positive with the encouragement of his only batcher and their original squad. Something he had clearly failed at with his first battalion...

When they call him Dok or Dok'ika, it doesn't hurt the same way it did when the 501st addressed him. When he'd failed to understand something apparently basic, or made his presence undesirable due to the many quirks that made him apparently faulty. His too obtuse opinions that often ended with clashes of ideals. His need to share unwanted information that he'd simply found intriguing. His nitpicky tastes and precise manner in which he did things so that his brain could work right.

None of these bothered his new battalion in the way they did his old one. And it was still a shock to him that he could just be without being too little or too much.

When Bully and Jawbreaker (and oh, wasn't it a comfort to be reunited with them? To have someone that understood his odd behavior and what happened back there on that dark hellscape?) called him Dok, it made his heart flutter with delight. Like he was a cadet again and his ori'vode had gotten him some treats that they knew he'd be able to more easily stomach than the early meal gruel. The feeling of being back home, despite never having really had a home before.

And when commander Wolffe did it, he couldn't help but let himself ease into an actual smile even as he stood at parade rest. None of his 501st superior officers had ever looked at him before and really seen him in the way Wolffe did. They all quickly grew bored of his strict demeanor and sharp adherence to protocol. Sometimes rolled his eyes at him as if he couldn't see the disdain they had for his need for that familiar stability.

If anything, he seemed to understand.

The Wolfpack understood. They all did. And that's all he'd ever really wanted, really. And in being given that understanding, that equal footing, he's never felt so much like himself than he did now. Can finally look in the mirror and see who he was, currently is, and who he will soon be. For once the future really seems like a promise, rather than just a distant childish dream.

"Keep at it kid." his ori'vod smiles from ear to ear, both cybernetic and organic eye twinkling with pride. "We'll make a proper wolf of you yet."

And Dogma believes him.

[queen-scribbles]

gut feeling

So of course the first time I write the immediate aftermath of CoU it's a) almost seven years after it dropped and b) not one of my NINE Theronmancers but Keme. :) In Jorgan's POV :) ----

Jorgan was wrapping up an op when Aygo commed.

He frowned a little as he answered, bad feeling in his gut and pace slowing on the way through the spaceport. "I was just about--"

"I wanted to give you a heads up, Major," Aygo cut him off, words clipped with stress. "Things on Umbara went sideways."

Jorgan froze midstride. "Sideways how?" Keme had given him some of the details; crystal recovery, hopefully finding the traitor, Lana and Theron were with her, for something to go wrong with all three of them there--

"It's Shan," Aygo growled. "Turns out he's our traitor; tried to kill Beniko and the Commander."

"Tried?" It was the only word he could get past the strangling disbelief in his throat, past the icy claws digging into his lungs, grip tightening on the holo like he held it personally responsible.

Betrayed, again.

"Crashed a train. They're fine and en route to Odessen," Aygo said, and Jorgan let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "But the news made the base a bit of a mess, as I'm sure you can imagine, and with you being married to the Commander, I didn't want you walking into that unprepared."

"'Preciate that," Jorgan managed, shaking off the haze as he ended the call. He headed for his shuttle double time, the ghosts of the old Havoc(not his, not Keme's, Tavus) rearing their heads in his wake.

He should let Keme knew he'd heard. No matter how hard he pushed the blasted shuttle, it was still almost a whole day's travel home and he couldn't imagine how bad this stung for her. But what could he even say?

One of her best friends... Well, that's what hoping gets you.

---

Dorne was waiting when he landed, which really shouldn't have surprised him.

"Sparring ring," she said, hand out to take his gear.

Jorgan passed it over with a grateful nod. "Figured as much." He barely even slowed his pace, heading for the outdoor sparring and workout area.

"See if you can get her to take a break," Dorne called after him. "She's been at it for hours."

I'll bet she has. He waved a hand in acknowledgement. A susurrus of whispers and furtive looks followed him, and he wondered just how bad a mood Keme was in.

She was the only one using the space, which was something of an answer. Her posture was thick with tension, her hands wrapped and one gripping a practice shiv as she beat the living daylights out of a training dummy.

"I got your message," she said, breathing hard, without turning around.

Jorgan walked closer, taking in her clenched jaw, the damage she'd inflicted on the dummy, looking her over for injuries. Nothing he could see. "I'm glad you're alright."

Keme gave a hollow laugh as she pivoted and launched herself at him for a hug. "I dunno about alright," she mumbled into his chest.

She was hugging him almost fiercely enough to bruise and he returned the favor. "Unhurt work better?"

Keme nodded wordlessly, her grip intensifying before she let go. "I don't think it's sunk in yet," she admitted as she stepped back a pace, her voice even more hollow than the laugh had been. "I got back mad enough to punch somethin' and the knee jerk solution was to see if he wanted to spar before... I remembered." She sighed and raked loose hair back toward the ponytail it had escaped. "I didn't see this coming, Aric..."

He pulled her in for another hug, kissing the top of her head. "Did anyone?"

She shook her head. "Not even Lana." She stood there a minute, not returning the hug, just savoring it, if the way she shuddered when he started rubbing her back was any indication. "I can't believe he'd do this..."

"Me, neither," Jorgan muttered, kissing the top of her head again. She and Theron had hit it off from the first time they worked together, and been thick as thieves by the time they finished on Yavin 4. And it was readily apparent by the time Jorgan arrived on Odessen that working together on the Alliance had only made their friendship stronger. Beniko might be the de facto second in command, but Theron was Keme's go-to. For him to betray her like this had Jorgan a special kind of furious. Ready to join Beniko on her rumored warpath, in fact.

Keme shifted at his tone, pulling back again so she could pace as she talked. "I mean I literally can't believe it, Aric. I can't, he wouldn't."

"But he did, Keme," Jorgan growled. Don't do this to yourself, sweetheart. "You've said yourself the man's a damned good spy, makes sense he'd keep it under wraps--"

"But he wouldn't!!" she burst out, hands curling into fists.

"But he did!" Jorgan repeated, hating the look on her face. I'm gonna kill him for doing this to you. "He betrayed the Alliance, betrayed you, and Aygo said he crashed a train trying to kill you! Can't be much clearer!"

"Shot at me, too," she grumbled, half-heartedly punching the training dummy's shoulder.

He tensed at that additional tidbit. "Keme-!"

"He missed," Keme said dismissively, taking another nothing swing at the dummy. Like it was no big deal her best friend had shot at her.

"And thank the stars for that," Jorgan bit out. "I won't. What?"

She'd frozen mid-swing. "He missed," she repeated, slowly. Something flickered in her eyes. "Aric, he missed."

"And?"

"And you've fought alongside him! You know he's a hell of a shot. Theron wouldn't miss, not from a meter away, not unless it was on purpose--"

"Keme, do you hear yourself?!" he demanded. He understood the desire to rationalize, the difficulty of a hurt like this. It was far deeper and more personal than when Tavus' Havoc went rogue. But she was pushing toward something else.

"I can't think of any other reason!" she retorted, throwing up her hands.

"Didn't account for movement of the train. One last shred of decency shaming him for betraying his best friend. You moved. Just off the top of my head." He crossed his arms.

"Which is why his 'miss' just happened to take out the window Lana and I used to escape," Keme drawled. He knew that look; the gears were turning in her head. "If he hadn't... hadn't done that I dunno if we would've gotten off the train in time."

He could see her coming to wrong conclusions and it broke his heart and infuriated him in equal measure. Damn Theron for doing this to her. "Sweetheart, don't credit to conspiracy what's actually coincidence. Especially if that's all you have."

Her jaw went tight again, and she threw a few more punches at the dummy before whatever she was chewing on was too much and she spun back to him. "There's one thing he said I can't get out of my head. It's just wrong."

Just one? "Don't suppose it involved trying to explain himself."

"For peace." A muscle in her jaw twitched. "He's trying to destroy the Alliance, everything we worked for, together, for peace. Because it's rotten." She gave a stilted laugh as she dropped onto a nearby bench, shoving her discarded jacket aside. "And that's not even the part I'm stuck on."

Jorgan just waited her out, knowing if it bothered her this much she wouldn't need prompting to share.

"He said that if millions died for this, so be it. And that's been buggin' me."

"Hearing a sentiment like that from a friend would bug anyone," he muttered, wondering how the hell they hadn't seen this coming, any of them. Not a single clue. He really is good.

"But Theron?! Theron who almost bit Lana's head off over Master Surro after Ziost? Theron who I had to talk out of a self-flagellating sulk when we couldn't save Ranken? Theron who has always pushed for low to no casualties, who wants to save as many as we can, saying deaths in the millions is okay?" Keme shook her head. "It doesn't add up."

"People change," he growled.

"That much? That fast?" She shot him a skeptical look. " I'd've sworn by Theron almost as strongly as I would you. This feels wrong."

"Maybe we missed it happening; everything's been busy-"

"Jorgan, come on--"

"No, you come on," he cut her off, moving to sit next to her. "You're weighting your gut feeling against the man's own words and the fact he tried to kill you." A thought hit like a kick to the gut. "Does this mean... Iokath was him, too?"

He'd seen that report; Dorne hadn't tried terribly hard to stop him, and it had been a terrifyingly close call.

"....Maybe," Keme said, voice small. "We can't know for sure...."

"Seems pretty damn likely to me, you're just-" He stopped himself before he said something he'd regret and wouldn't be able to take back.

"In denial? Lana gave me that speech already." Keme started unwrapping her hands, gaze on the task rather than him.

Maybe I agree with her for once. "In other words you don't need-"

"Want."

"-to hear it again?"

"Somethin' like that," she muttered. The wraps came off and she dropped them with her jacket. "I just can't reconcile it, Aric," she said softly, cracking her knuckles. "I'm furious at him, too, but... We were joking around three days ago. He threatened to swipe my caf to pull an all-nighter an' I countered I'd make him take a vacation if he tried to pull another all-nighter, he works too damn hard and I just... He worked as hard as I did to build this, maybe more, it doesn't..."

Make sense.

"I know, sweetheart." Jorgan reached over to rub her back. "And I'm sorry for being a hardass about it; the thought of losing you, again, because of someone you trusted scares the hell out of me."

"Which I get." Keme ran a hand down her face. "Believe me. But whatever the evidence says, whatever Theron said, something doesn't sit right."

He really didn't want to fight with her about this. She clearly wasn't going to budge any time soon. "Alright, say I believe you. Can you think of any other reason he would've...done everything he did?"

There was a protracted moment of silence before Keme shook her head. "No. I can't." Her voice shook. "He wouldn't but I can't think..."

Jorgan pulled her close, tucking her in to his shoulder. "Whatever the case, you know I've got your back, right?"

She nodded. "Love you."

He kissed the top of her head. "Love you, too."

He didn't know what was coming, what this meant for her or the Alliance, just that they'd get through it. They always did.

Call it a gut feeling.

[tup-ika-5385]

Summary:

Hardcase thought he knew what he was getting into, sacrificing himself for his brothers. What he didn’t expect was to survive, for Fives to pull him away from the explosions and bring him back down to Umbara. He definitely didn’t expect to be refused medical treatment and to be left fighting for his life. Kix says it’s going to be a long road to recovery, and he’s starting to wonder what “recovery” even looks like after something like this...

This fic focuses on multiple character's struggles in the aftermath of Umbara and deals with topics of disability, burn wound recovery, depression, intrusive thoughts, and others. Don't be afraid to ask for extra tags if you need them!

Chapter 11:

A shorter chapter focusing on Dogma's mental state as he adjusts to being stuck in medbay.

This chapter contains scenes with one character experiencing intrusive thoughts related to suicide and homicide (in relation to OCD), followed by an autistic shutdown. Take care of yourselves!

__________________

TLDR the rest of the fic (for context):

When the supply ship went up in flames, Fives pulled Hardcase out of the wreckage, but not before he had serious injuries. They returned to Umbara, and Krell court-martialed the three of them, denying Hardcase access to medical treatment (but Kix found a loophole and guided Fives and Jesse through the bare necessities until Krell was discovered to be a traitor, at which point he stopped caring and did it himself).

The rest of Umbara continued the same as in canon, and Hardcase was eventually evac-ed to the Resolute, but not before catching an infection and seriously prolonging his recovery time (he's out of danger now though). Meanwhile, Dogma was detained in the brig for a while for killing Krell, and wasn't even doing the bare minimum to keep himself alive. Kix and Tup figured out a way to use medical authority to stall for time for Dogma, referencing Krell's death as a clinically-significant stress response that necessitated medical treatment, so now Dogma's being "detained" in medbay, and has been helping with Hardcase's care when the medics are busy. Recently, Hardcase has been healing more, and had his last big surgery, so he's still a little out of it. Also, my clone oc Patch joined the 501st last chapter, sharing his knowledge as a rehab specialist, and has been treating the entire legion as his vod'ikae.

___________________

Chapter 11:

Injured or not, Hardcase's snores were loud enough to wake the dead. Dogma sighed to himself in boredom; Hardcase had been sleeping for most of the day, still hopped up on painkillers and anesthesia from his recent skin graft surgery, leaving Dogma to his own devices. Fives, Jesse, and Tup were back on Coruscant, enjoying some much-needed shore leave, and Dogma tried not to feel too put-out at being left behind on the Resolute.

Absently, he watched as a medic in 104th gray armor puttered around medbay, carrying crates and gear of all kinds to the recently repurposed auxiliary medbay. The space had barely been used outside of their latest campaign, with a handful of flimsy cots and more than a few upgrades needed; nobody would be missing the old space.

Kix had looked beyond relieved when he’d gotten confirmation that the new medic’s transfer request had been approved, and Dogma was glad that the injured troopers would be getting the help they needed, especially Hardcase. There was a small part of him that worried, though, wondering if he’d still be wanted with another pair of hands around, much more experienced than his. Some days, those little chores around medbay were all that stood between Dogma and the brink of insanity; he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he wasn’t able to contribute somehow.

Even as he sat there, the buzzing feeling at the back of his mind persisted, and he knew it would get worse if he stayed in his bunk for too long. So with a quick stretch, he made his way to where Patch was setting up the rehab room.

“Uh, sir? Do you need any help?” He gave a small knock on the doorframe, to which Patch responded with a friendly grin, waving him over. 

“Sure, kid. Do you wanna start organizing the things from that crate? They should all go in the cabinet to the right.” Patch nodded to the crate in question, so Dogma got to work. He could still hear the conversation in the nearby medbay, a peaceful background noise to his organizing, and he was able to put the weird feeling aside for a little while as he got into a rhythm. 

Caught up in what he was doing, Dogma didn’t notice Patch coming over to check his work until he nearly bumped into him, flinching sharply as he realized how he’d let his guard down.

“Easy, kid. Just coming over to check how it’s coming along. You’ve got quite the system going.” Patch’s tone was apologetic; he felt bad about startling the kid. He watched as Dogma took a steadying breath before muttering a quick apology, not that the kid had anything to apologize for. 

As he looked at the kid, Patch noticed something in his eyes, a flash of anxiety and something a little harder to describe. He’d seen it in his own reflection once, a long time ago, so he resolved to ask about it later when Kix came back.

______________________

“Hey Kix, a moment of your time, real quick?”

“Sure, just one second.” Kix nodded agreeably, finishing up with his notes before following Patch to a lesser-used corner of the medbay.

“I had a question. It’s about Dogma. Is he… on watch?” Patch lowered his voice at the last part, voice taking on a particular tone. 

It wasn’t often they had uninjured troopers taking up residence in medbay, but usually, it meant a very specific thing: that a brother couldn’t…  be safe alone. But Kix hadn’t mentioned anything when they did rounds earlier; in fact, he’d skipped the kid entirely. And Patch wanted to respect his privacy, but he also wanted to know if he had to be mindful of sharp objects or of accidentally triggering the vod’ika.

At Patch’s question, Kix blinked in surprise for a moment, biting his lip before giving a shrug. “Not exactly… but keeping an eye on him is probably a good idea. Dogma’s… he’s the one that took down Krell, at the end of our last campaign.” He paused as Patch hissed between his teeth.

Kix continued. “GAR Command’s been calling for his throat, but we managed to stall them by putting a medical hold on his case. It’s not a perfect solution, and it’ll probably get the long-necks on his tail if we ever visit Kamino, but it’s the best we could do so that he’s with his brothers instead of rotting in some cell.”

He glanced around the corner to look at the vod’ika in question, taking a nap on his bunk. “Dogma’s a bit of a stickler for the regs, so he’s taken this whole thing… pretty hard. I’ve been giving him chores to do around the medbay, to keep him busy, and it seems to be helping some, but he’s pretty cautious around everyone but his batcher, so it’s hard to know how he’s really doing.”

Patch nodded, sighing sympathetically; clones were made for action, and sitting around anywhere for too long was bound to make anyone twitchy. “Sounds like the kid’s been going through it…”

“Yeah… I’ve been pairing him and Hardcase whenever possible, which seems to help some. Hardcase is still pretty early in the recovery process, and Dogma’s got a mind for schedules and organization, so they’ve been helping each other, in a sense.” Kix huffed a brief laugh. “Dogma’s got the bedside manner of a rock, but if he stays here much longer, I might have to request that Rex assign him as a medical assistant. I’d love to see what’d happen if I set him loose on the medbay’s organization system.”

At that, Patch shared a grin. “Is that right? I’ll have to invite him to help with my rehab sessions, then. Could always use an extra hand.” Giving Kix a quick word of thanks, Patch returned to his task of settling in. He’d keep an eye on this vod’ika for now, just in case…

_______________________

After spending nearly a week unoccupied in medbay, Dogma was starting to appreciate any distraction, even in the form of annoyingly loud ARC troopers. Fives, Tup, and Jesse had stopped by medbay a little while ago, and were currently regaling him and Hardcase of the sights and sounds on Coruscant. Fives had even brought back a small noodle cup for him and a nice broth for Hardcase from a civvie joint on-planet, which they’d both quickly inhaled. 

Dogma felt a little bad, knowing the lengths they’d probably gone to, constantly going back and forth from the planet’s surface to the Resolute just to keep them company. He consoled himself with the reminder that it wasn’t just him that they came to see, and Hardcase really did get less restless when he had someone to talk to, and honestly, these little visits did them all some good. Dogma had been battling another off-day before they got there, and even now he felt an uncomfortable pressure at the back of his mind, like an invisible foot was about to drop, but it was easier to ignore when he was pressed against his batchmate in a med-bed that definitely wasn’t made for two occupants, let alone three, with Fives sitting on the foot of the bed as Jesse regaled them about his latest trip to 79’s. Dogma got the sense that they were playing it up for their entertainment, but he couldn’t bring himself to call them out on it. 

Dogma glanced up at an especially loud laugh from the group. Identifying Fives as the source, his eyes subconsciously scanned the ARC until his mind jolted abruptly at the sight of his pistol. The Pistol he’d used on Krell, to be precise. A thought came to his mind unbidden, intrusive and violent in nature. “It’d be so easy to grab it when he’s not looking. I’ve done it before.” 

Dogma flinched visibly as the thought passed his brain. Grab it to do what, exactly? Shoot his brothers? Shoot himself?  

His hands shook as he remembered the way his thoughts had flashed through his brain back on Umbara, and how Fives had to carefully wrap his hands around Dogma’s to pry the pistol from his grasp. 

Like a switch had been flipped, the bad feeling at the base of his skull increased tenfold. In milliseconds, he felt like a puppet with its strings cut off, the world flashing by in grayscale as warning klaxons wailed in his head. He struggled to make sense of his own thoughts, painful tumults crashing through his skull, but on the outside he didn’t so much as move. His brothers were laughing and joking around him, enjoying each other’s company, but Dogma couldn’t even quirk his lips into a facsimile of a smile. 

As he sat there in a muted haze, the conversation around him began to fade, with first Jesse then Fives leaving to grab some food in the mess hall until all that remained was Dogma, a quickly fading Hardcase (still recovering from his recent surgery), and Tup, who’d been giving him increasingly concerned looks over the past ten minutes.

“You okay Dogma? You went a little quiet halfway through.” Tup asked, placing a careful hand on Dogma’s knee. Giving it a gentle squeeze, Tup scanned his batchmate’s face, noticing his strange, blank expression.

At that moment, what little resolve Dogma had left crumbled, his lip trembling as his next inhale turned into a choked sob. He drew his knees up to his chest, piercing shame scraping at his insides. As tears started streaming down his face, he heard a small noise from Tup, but he could barely process it as he gripped his short hair tightly, looking for something, anything, to stop feeling like his brain was fragmenting into shards of glass. 

Still wrapped up in his head, Dogma barely registered as Tup wrapped a warm blanket around his shoulders. When Dogma didn’t pull away immediately, Tup carefully enveloped Dogma in his arms, pulling him into a tender hug. Breath coming in small hiccups, Dogma melted, slumping against his chestplate. His tears started to dampen Tup’s blacks, but he only held him tighter, serving as Dogma’s anchor in the storm.

After what felt like an eternity, Dogma’s tears started to die down. He gave the occasional shuddering breath as he slowly came back to himself. 

Presence steady as he held Dogma close, Tup patiently waited for him to gather himself. At some point, Kix had poked his head in to see if they needed anything, but Tup waved him off for now. “It’s okay, Dogma... I’m here, vod.” 

He slowly became aware of Tup’s hands rubbing small circles in his back, his batchmate breathing in a slow but steady rhythm, encouraging Dogma to copy him. 

Finally, Dogma pulled away, bringing one hand up to dry the tear-tracks near his eyes while the other still gripped Tup’s hand. Tup gave his hand a careful squeeze before cautiously broaching the topic. “What was that about, vod? Do ya feel like talking about it?” 

“I-I don’t–” Dogma shook his head, voice raw from crying. “I don’t know–” His heart sped up, worried that Tup would demand an answer that he still didn’t fully understand. 

A hand started massaging Dogma’s palm, pulling him out of his thoughts before he could start spiraling again. “Shhh… that’s alright. No talking’s fine too. Just… if you need me, I’m here.” 

Dogma nodded shakily, letting out a quiet. “...thanks.”

“Anytime, Dogma. Any time.”

They continued to sit together for a while, and eventually Kix came over to check on Dogma and make sure he hydrated. That night, Dogma’s med-bed had an extra occupant, and Kix put another blanket over the sleeping duo, sharing a fond smile with Hardcase when they slept in long past first meal.

_________________

Author Notes:

If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading, aaaaahh!!!

On a more serious note, there’s something in this chapter that’s very important to clarify: Dogma, at least how I’ve characterized him, is not currently suicidal or homicidal. He has no intentions or plans to kill himself or others (besides Krell), but after seeing Fives’ pistol, he experiences extremely distressing intrusive thoughts about doing so. As someone with thought-action fusion (a component of OCD), Dogma is convinced that having these thoughts means that he wants to do these things and will do these things, making the thoughts just as bad as if he were to actually try and kill his brothers or himself, at least in his own mind. (Yes, this is a thing).

Of course, thinking about something is extremely different than actually doing it, but Dogma struggles with this distinction, which is part of why he had such a hard time with recognizing Krell’s true intentions, because thinking treasonous thoughts (or voicing disagreements) was practically as good as betraying the Republic and going against his entire reason for being. And because I’m characterizing him as both autistic and having OCD, this intrusive thought breakdown quickly leads to a shutdown/meltdown.

This scene was really hard to write mainly because of this distinction, but I hope I pulled it off okay. Dogma’s experiences are in no way meant to invalidate those of anyone with these conditions, but it’s important to understand that differences exist between intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, and suicide itself, because otherwise that can be an extremely stressful and overwhelming experience like it was for Dogma himself.

Hope this clarified things! If you had any comments/questions about anything in this chapter, I’d absolutely love to hear about it. Take care of yourselves! (Also, comments and reblogs feed the dopamine-hoarding dragon that lives inside my brain. Okay thanks, bye!)

[fictionalmenjusthitdifferent]

What is Always darkest before the dawn going to be about? 👀

Salutations bestie! Well, here's the long and the short of it. So I'm debating whether it's going to be an OC x cannon or a reader insert.

Plot being the aftermath of the battle of Umbara, a sprinkling of traumatized Captain Rex, and lots of comfort snuggles with his jedi 🥰

Thank you so much for this ask dearest ❤️

[holdingonforheaven]

🍓🍎🍒🍇

I got greedy 😁 Fruit salad please?

One fruit salad coming right up!!! 🥰🥰🥰

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated? 

Honestly, Blinded, which I wrote for the Febuwhump semiconscious prompt. Maybe I didn't give it a good title (I have a hard time titling my works) or a flashy enough summary, but I think it's some of my best writing.

🍎 Is there anything you straight-up won’t write?

Any kind of incest, and I'm including clone shipping in that. I get that other people like it, but it's not for me!

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!) 

Oooh, this is a tough one! There are so many good pairings. I love writing CodyWan; they basically wrote all of Breathless themselves, and that was supposed to be a whump prompt not a first kiss, lol. I also love clones being siblings--I have four brothers, so I like playing with the different kinds of relationships siblings have with each other. I feel like you see a lot of that (and there's more coming) in Not Alone and Fallout. The Bad Batch fall into this category, too. Crosshair & Omega especially have me in a chokehold. They just have so much potential for sarcasm and sweetness and angst 🥺

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one? 

Hmmmmm. If I had a stronger psyche, I'd really sink my teeth into the Umbara arc. As it is, I can't even rewatch it, but there's soooooo much you could do with it, from just straight-up fix-it fics where nothing bad happens at all, to highly-focused whump fics where we explore it in depth from just one character's perspective. I really wish we got to see Anakin's reaction to the aftermath of that arc...like, he left his troopers in the hands of a dark jedi who abused them to hell and back, and you're telling me Mr. "I Killed The Women And Children, Too" didn't have anything to say about that?? I just feel like he'd have so much grief and betrayal and guilt that he'd need to process and he wouldn't do it very well because he's Anakin.

This was so fun!! Thank you for asking 🥰

[wild-karrde]

Hello Karrde!

So I think I missed the deadline for last week so Imma make sure to get my Rec's in today!

First up Is the latest from the Shades of Dates (Helpless) series by the Amazing @rain-on-kamino . I Friggin cried.... it's so good just.... AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Next is the latest in the Tea Shop series by @pickleprickle . Holy Flarg the tea is HOT! I can't wait to see the drama unfold with this one... I'm making popcorn for when the fight starts.

Finally I was so glad when I saw that @daimyosprincess Work Ex Libris was on the list last week and if you liked part 1 then PART 2 is a must! So hot it would melt granite...

Also Just gotta say the Blitz was just..... HOLY MOLY!!!! Incinerate the Panties!!! Much love to all the Fantastic Fic Writers out here, all the hugs and cookies!

These are all FANTASTIC recs! Caro perfectly captures the tension and the absolute gut-wrenching emotions of the Umbara arc and the aftermath, and seeing how it impacted each of the boys individually just HURTS. And I love how Lee's series is shaping up, especially with all of this background on the tea shop owner that's emerging! And Zwei's series is seriously SO GOOD as well! Professor Boba just hits different.

And thank you so much for the kind words about The Blitz. It was such a fun series to write, but I'm somewhat glad it's over now so I can stop neglecting my other WIPS haha!

(Also, just as a heads up for future reference, if you miss the deadline for submissions one week, I just queue whatever I get after the deadline for the following week, so no need to resubmit or worry about it <3)

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

[warsamongthestars]

MORE TBB + CT HCS!

Since I didn't chase anyone off the first time, how bout some more? This round isn't nearly a storied as last round.

THE BAD BATCH did not grow up with each other. I know, counter to a lot of HCs. Each BB had a batchsquad that they were given back to (with flagged profiles about being apart of the 99 project--DO NOT DECOMMISSION), and thus, had an original regular clone trooper batch-squad at one point. This is where they got their names and social experience. WRECKER was a apart of KILO SQUAD. His Batchmates, were Chopper (who was later assigned under Sergeant Slick; TCWs), Boomer (Also known as Clone-Sergeant 2207; 501st; TCWs), Basher (the only CT out of the unit to make it into the Empire Era; SW Detours), and Hardcase (who lost his life during the Umbara Campaign; TCWs). Kilo squad were known to be happy-go-lucky destroyers of the training rooms. HUNTER was a part of ETA SQUAD. Three confirmed members of ETA Squad were, Tracker (212th; apart of the Dark Disciple series), Trapper (212th, formerly 91st--saw the battle of Ryloth, and the Zilo Beast incident; TCWs), and Hound (Coruscant Guard, Mastif Handler; TCWs) CROSSHAIR was apart of OMICRON SQUAD. With Hawkeye (91st, died during the Zilo Beast incident; TCWs), Longshot (212th, died during the Lola Sayu Mission; TCWs), Scope (104th; SW:CWA) and Sinker, of the 104th Wolfpack. TECH was apart of a soft-shell tech squad, with two confirmed members--Switch (CP-6824; SW:CW:RH) and Chatter (501st; radiotech).

Unfortunately, thanks to an incident that occurred to CT-9905 (a 99 projector (and original character)), Four of the Six / Seven of the 99-Project clones were finally gathered to be a team. ( CT-9905's fate is unknown. ) ( CT-9902 would be regulated as a Kaminonian Assistant. ) ( CC-9900, the "proof of concept" 99er, whose regeneration abilities served as the genetic-patch to prevent further clones from over-aging in their growth tubes--was already apart of the Republic Commando training, and would not be joining any other 99er. ) The original squads would be broken up and either sent out alone to other legions, or would be assigned to different squads.

HUNTER'S ELECTROMAGNETIC SENSES allows him to know when something has a static charge. So rub against a carpet, and he'll just know you have the charge. He describes it as if the feel of the air became spicy. Basically, he's a living voltage detector. Could probably tell you when your battery is dead.

WRECKER'S BONES are unbreakable. This isn't actually a form of mutation, but a form of later-life augmentation. That same later life augmentation staved his life when a bomb or charge went off near his face, and instead of pulverizing his skull (and thus his brain), it only pulverized the closest soft tissues--like his eye and inner ear.

WRECKER'S ENHANCEMENT allows him to have flexible muscle mass; allowing him to pick up and move objects without prep work, and to with stand any aftermath soreness. Thanks to the later-life augmentation, he has the strongest back in human existence. Unfortunately, a side effect of this is weaker organs, and a weaker heart. His enormous muscle growth has resulted in at least one near full organic transplantation, due to the muscle growing too fast for the organs to keep up. The abnormal strength of the muscle, thanks to be spliced with other-than-human genetics, is also what required the later-life bone augmentation, or risk his very muscles crushing his bones by movement alone.

Wrecker does not remember much of his childhood, due to the sheer growth pains from his enhancements.

TECH suffers from severe nearsightedness, and its been suggested, that as he's been spliced with Kamoninan genetics in order to ensure a "computational brain", that his eyes are more suited to underwater environments. Funnily enough, he does actually see in the water better. Not great, but better.

TECH, having been spliced with Kamoninan Genetics (whom are primarily amphibious), did have a vestigial-tadpole tail in his infancy. It went away as he got older... but he does occasionally have " Nonexistent-tail wiggles" when particularly excited, as a left over response--he finds them quite unprofessional and embaressing, but sometimes, one just gots to wiggle in place to get all that energy out.

Thanks to the Genetic splicing, Crosshair was actually born blind, with his eyelids semi-permanently shut (Not unlike a baby bird). They would open over the course of his first month; but this shows that not only does he have powerful eyes--he has powerful eyelids to compensate for those eyes. Its theorized that, if he had normal human eyelids, he would've seen through them.

The AlphaGens, or the famous 100, were the first clones in existence. They were the proof of concept, the Sparten-2's to the regular clones' Sparten-3, with minor enhancements and power armor--but also with the first severe issues that would come along during the Kaminonian's cloning. 99 was the final "successful" AlphaGen, whose gene-glitch aged him drastically in his growth tude, and whose problem would later be "patched out" with later clones, with the 99 project. ( Most Gene-patch projects were usually named after an AlphaGen's number; for example, there was the failed 17-Project, which attempted to gene-patch out premature white hair--did so with no success, and actually introduced Auburn and Blond Hair into clone troopers, as well as the additional problem of premature balding. ) ( Or the gene-patch project, 24-Project, that attempted to patch out Blue eyes--which catastrophically failed and resulted in blindness. ) 99 Himself, who was aware of the project being based from him, kept an eye out for all the "99ers", in what little ways he could. It is a well known AlphaGen trait, after all, to adopt BetaGen or Regular Clone Troopers. For example; for a young Wrecker, with uncontrollable strength, and great terrible growth pains, he left a small "tooka" doll made from baby cloths and what little fluff he could find. 99 would not officially meet a 99 Team, until after the loss of 9905.

99 himself, as the AlphaGen of Maintenance, knew of the secret places undernearth the Kaminonian Cities. He often worked around where CT-9902 did And he knew of the canceled OmegaGen clones project.

THE OMEGA GENERATION Cloned from a different prime, Arla Fett, the OmegaGen project was an attempt to create force-sensitive clones through "natural incubation" in order to "garden" the growth of midi-chlorians in a clone. Only two surviving clones were the result of the OmegaGen project--Omega-01, who was born via designated incubator (Heavily implied to have been the OmegaGen Prime), and Omega-02, who was the result of the Kaminonian typical method of cloning... and deemed a failure due to lack of midi-chlorian count. The project was deemed a success--but the expense and the time taken to make OmegaGen clones was deemed unacceptable, and the project was canceled after the first successes.