#um this took me unreasonably long

[sunshineting]

this is my first ever fic 🥹 so um yeah

plug!eren x nerdy!chubby!reader

word count- 1686

summary- you're a stressed college kid that just needs to relax

MINORS DNI please‼️‼️

“Oh jeez… I hope he makes this easy,” you muttered to yourself. You were stressed. Stressed as hell. Studying for midterms was whooping your ass and all you needed was a little green to help you relax. Your friend, Sasha, had given you the number to her on-campus plug. She gave you the slight warning that he was a bit intense, but reliable. You finally grew some balls and texted the ominous number.

‘Is this Eren?’ You were always nervous talking to plugs. Your slightly timid nature always made them think you were a narc or something. Nope. Just good old social anxiety. Your phone’s ding took you by surprise; he responded fast. He simply responded with a question mark.

‘Sorry. Sasha gave me your number. I was hoping to buy from you’

After a few more text exchanges, you had agreed to meet him at his apartment to pick up.

“Apartment 913… where the hell…?” On your third time circling his complex, you finally found it. Three quick knocks on the door later, you were face to face with a man’s collarbone. You look up and are met with intense, deep green eyes.

Oh no, he’s hot. You push your glasses back up your nose and introduce yourself.

“H-hi, I’m Y/N. I was texting you earlier?”

A sly grin creeps onto Eren’s face.

“Wassup?” He flicks his head to gesture for you to follow him inside. His apartment smelled like weed and the musk of generic ‘male’ scented candles. There were LED strip lights just about everywhere, giving the place a blue tint. Adding to the blue tint was a huge fish tank with all types of exotic and expensive looking fish. Following his lead, you took a seat on the couch. You didn’t want to make yourself too comfortable, so you sat on the edge.

“You could get comfortable, lil mama. I don’t bite,” Eren says with a smirk. You barely moved. Between him being a plug and him being hot, your awkwardness levels were through the roof.

“So whatchu tryna get? A gram, a three five, a zip? You look like you like edibles,” Eren lists off his products.

“You think I like edibles cuz I’m chubby?” You mumble. He chuckles.

“Nah, I just can’t imagine your lil innocent ass smoking.” A small pout forms on your face as you let out a ‘hmph’.

“How much is a three five? I have cash,” you say, trying to get back to business. He tells you it’s twenty, but only because you’re cute. You felt heat rush to your face at the compliment. After your transaction, Eren offers to smoke you out.

“Oh, you don’t have to. I just bought some.”

“You’re turning down free weed?” He deadpans. You purse your lips.

“…no.”

Watching Eren handle weed was unreasonably sexy. The way his big hands gently packed the blunt was mesmerizing. He’d put his long hair into a bun just prior to the process. Hell, even that was sexy. The t-shirt he wore exposed each flex of his muscles as he expertly tied his locks up. You just about combusted when he was licking the backwood. The flicks of his tongue on the paper sent electricity straight to your clit. Were you imagining it, or was he purposely licking it as lewdly as possible? You felt wetness pool in your panties.

“I never really smoke blunts,” you confess.

“Oh? What do you use then?”

“It’s this little glass bowl I got in high school. It’s small but it gets the job done.” You smile. You could feel yourself getting more comfortable bit by bit. Eren sparked up the blunt and took a long hit. He exhaled smoothly and passed it to you. You took a small pull and the sour smoke filled your mouth. You tried to fully inhale, but the sourness of the tobacco and the strength of the smoke was too much. Choking and coughing, you hand the damned thing back to Eren. Yep, there was a reason you stuck to your bowl. Despite not getting too much, you were just starting to feel the relaxing effects.

“C’mere” Eren waved for you to come closer to him. Your inhibitions were lowered and you didn’t give yourself time to overthink. You scooched closer to him, but he pulled you impossibly closer. He had you pressed up against him; his warmth igniting every cell in your body.

“Open your mouth,” he commanded softly. You didn’t even have time to think, you just obeyed. Eren took a smaller hit than his last and pulled your face directly in front of his. Your lips were just barely touching when he blew his smoke into your awaiting mouth.

“Th-thank you,” you say, voice barely above a whisper. You were trying your damnedest not to moan. It’s been so long since you’d been fucked. Your vibrator was nothing compared to the real thing and holy shit was Eren real. Eren glances down at your lips and licks his own. He was unbelievably hard. From the moment he saw you at his door, he knew he had to have you. Call it a corruption kink or whatever, but he just wanted to ruin that innocent look you had.

“You want more?”

“Mmhm,” you whimper. You squeeze your legs together just to get any type of relief for your swollen clit. Your little pussy is weeping, clenching around nothing as he blows more smoke in your mouth. You continue this until most of the way through the blunt, then you tap out. You were very much high and the cottonmouth was setting in.

“Could I have some water please?” You ask your host. As he stands, you see a very obvious print in his basketball shorts. While he gets the water, you take the time to stare at his fish tank.

“It’s like Finding Nemo in this bitch,” you breathe out. Time was feeling wonky as Eren returned with your water. It felt like forever and only a moment all at the same time.

“Thank you!” You say before your first sip.

“So polite… What a good girl. Are you always this sweet?” Eren asks. You nod.

“Yeah? You wanna be my good girl?” He questions as a hand begins to rub your thigh.

“Mmhm” you let out a breathy moan. With that, Eren picks you up and pulls you onto his lap as if you weigh nothing. His big hands grip both sides of your waist as he grinds you onto him. Your loose dress has been pulled up and pools around your thighs. Even clothed, you can feel his hard length pressing up against you.

“Let’s take this off,” he guides as he pulls off your cardigan. The removal of your cardigan causes the thin straps of your dress to fall off your shoulders. You felt like a mess and he hadn’t even fucked you yet. Eren decides to finally kiss you and pulls your mouth to his. He was devouring you. Immediately he fills mouth with his tongue. It was the sexiest, sloppiest kiss you’d ever had. Your needy little cunt is aching for relief. It’s practically hurting. Your full tits were pressed up against his chest and he could feel your nipples poking him. Eren uses one hand to start rubbing your clit through your panties. You’re so grateful for the relief, it feels like you’re melting into him.

“Damn lil mama you got a super soaker down there. That’s all for me?” Eren chuckles. You only give a whimper in response. You were so embarrassed at how easily you’re folding for this man.

“You want me to fuck this little pussy? Hm?” He groans.

“Mmhm,” you nod and whimper.

“Use your words”

“Please fuck me! Please, please I need it,” you beg. Eren could feel the precum leaking from his tip. His dick was so hard it hurt. You stand for a bit to discard your dress, leaving you only in your teddy bear print panties. He’d taken this time to remove his own clothes and you could finally see the huge cock that you’d been grinding on. Holy shit, he’s big. His cock is thick and pretty, with the tip a dark rosy pink. Your mouth began to water. You want to suck it, but Eren has other plans.

“Come sit on this dick, pretty.”

You quickly oblige. Eren revels in how warm and soft your thick thighs are. As you sink down on him, both of you are surprised. Him, at how tight and wet you are. And you, at how fucking deep he’s going. You can feel every inch and the delicious stretch of him filling you up. He’s so thick, your walls have him in a chokehold.

“Fuck, it’s so big,” you moan. Eren can’t even think of a cocky response. All his concentration is going toward not cumming. It was bad enough the two of you didn’t use a condom but the last thing y’all needed was a pregnancy scare.

You start riding him, bouncing up and down trying to maintain a good rhythm. With one hand gripping your waist, he takes the other and rubs circles on your clit. The extra stimulation has you falling apart. You can feel your orgasm building higher and higher. Eren feels your walls tighten ever more and can tell you’re just about to go over the edge.

“Cum for me. Give it all to me. Cum on this cock, baby,” he damn near growls in your ear. The permission to cum finally sends you over the edge; wave after wave of sweet release relaxing your tense muscles. Feeling your squishy walls flutter from cumming sends Eren over the edge, too. He lifts you off his cock just as ropes of thick cum spurts out of him. You’d left a ring of cream around the base of his shaft. As you sit back on his lap, Eren says, “Don’t get your weed from anybody else ever again, you hear me? Next time you need anything – weed or dick – you hit me up. I’m serious.”

[the-badger-mole]

Swept Away

Katara took a deep breath. In through her nose. Out through her mouth. She wasn't nervous. Not really. Not in the sense that other people mean when they say they're nervous. She wasn't scared. She was eager. In a few short minutes, she would be a wife. She would be Zuko's wife. He was going to be her husband.

"Are you sure about this?" Suki asked for the thousandth time. "Really sure?"

"I am." Katara opened her eyes and turned to her sister-in-law. She couldn't fight the smile that spread over her face. "I'm more sure of this than anything in my life. Zuko's it. He's the one."

"Katara," Suki sighed. "Look, I get it. Zuko's incredibly hot. He's smart. He...seems really nice, but-"

"Suki," Katara started to say, but she didn't get a chance to complete her thought.

"Katara, you've known him three months!" Suki burst out. "You've only been dating for eight weeks! You are the most straight laced person I've ever met. Why are you doing something this...impulsive? You're not impulsive!"

"What are you talking about?" Katara turned from the mirror to face Suki directly. "I'm exactly this impulsive. Don't you remember Jang Hui? My protest about gender equality for STEM fields at the North Pole? The time I started a rally for prison reform?"

"Okay, fine," Suki relented, rolling her eyes. "When it comes to social justice, you are very impulsive. But, this? Katara, you're getting married! Without your dad here. Without your GranGran! I know how much they mean to you."

"They mean the world to me," Katara agreed. "But you know I've never cared about a huge wedding. I love Zuko. I love him. I don't see why I should have to wait to make him my husband just because it would take too long for Dad to fly over to see us get married. We'll have a big party...a huge one later. And everyone we love will get to meet and celebrate. But this feels right!"

"Right?" Suki snorted. "It feels right to get married without telling anyone but me and your brother?"

"Yeah," Katara said. A wistful smile tugged at her lips. "I know it sounds crazy, but...I can't wait to marry him. I literally cannot wait. I've never felt this way about anyone. You know! I know you do. Sokka told me you and he started talking about marriage two months in." Suki rolled her eyes skyward and groaned.

"Yeah, talking about it!" Suki repeated it. "We didn't actually get engaged until a year in! We got married on our second anniversary!"

"Zuko and I don't want to wait that long," Katara laughed. "So we've on a faster timeline. So what?"

"What if there are things you don't like about him?" Suki pressed. "What if he's....I don't know...super anal about the way you put toilet paper on the roll? What if he doesn't wash his feet in the shower? What if he...he hates cats?"

"Did you know Sokka's every annoying habit when you married him?" Katara challenged. Suki made a face at her and sucked her teeth.

"No," she admitted. "But I knew a few of them! I knew enough to know that I could deal with the biggest ones."

"So do I," Katara said. "I know that Zuko likes his food unreasonably spicy. I know that when he's angry, he shuts down and needs a day or two before he can talk about it calmly. I know he thinks rom-coms are a wasted of a perfectly good evening. But I also know that he already values my opinion and will make decisions with me. I know he's put in so much work unlearning toxic traits he was taught as a child, way before he and I met. I know he has the softest heart underneath the hard layers. In three months, he's become one of my closest friends. I trust him, and he trusts me. I love him, Suki. I want to marry him now.

"Um..." Suki swiped at her eyes with her knuckles, and blinked rapidly against more tears. "I get that. I do! I just don't want you to regret doing it this way. I don't want you to regret not having Dad here to walk you down the aisle. Or not having Gran Gran help you into your gown. Don't you want a first dance with Zuko?

Katara turned back to the mirror and considered her reflection. As a girl, she had pictured her wedding. Her dressed in silk and looking the best she's ever looked, and her father walking with her to meet her husband. It was exactly as Suki said, with her dancing with her new husband while people took pictures and tossed confetti. Her extended family together and celebrating.

"I don't need it," she told Suki. "Did you know that the only family that Zuko has is his uncle? His mother is dead. His father is a monster. His sister won't speak to him. He wouldn't be alone- he has friends- but, it wouldn't be the same. Plus crowds make him anxious.

"So he asked for this?" Suki frowned. "He wanted to get married at City Hall?

"No, this was my idea," Katara assured her best friend. "He said he was fine with whatever I wanted. But Zuko's an introvert, and a little agoraphobic. The only buffer he would have would be me and his uncle. He wouldn't enjoy himself. Not as much as I would want. There will be plenty of time later to celebrate with the people we love. But not all at once.

"Dad won't like it," Suki warned. Katara shrugged.

"He'll get over it once I explain it to him," she said. "And he'll love Zuko. They have a lot in common."

Suki stared at Katara for a long while, wracking her brains for something, anything to say to her sister-in-law. She came up frustratingly empty. She should have more objections to her best friend and sister marrying someone she's only known a few months. Katara was convincing. She was very convincing when she wanted to be. Finally, Suki threw her hands up in surrender. If Katara was making a mistake, then the next best thing Suki and Sokka could do was make sure they were at least close enough to help her if she needed it.

"Sokka's not thrilled," she told Katara. "I promised him I'd talk sense into you before it was too late."

"It's been too late for a while," Katara chuckled. Suki nodded and laughed with her.

"I see that now," she said. "Sokka's going to be so disappointed."

"I hope that won't cause any issues with you guys," Katara's brow drew down in worry. Suki just waved her off, though.

"Nah," she said. "I'll just tell him I'm pregnant if he gets too riled up." Katara gasped and leapt up from her seat.

"Are you joking?" she squealed. Suki grinned and shook her head.

"I just found out a couple of days ago," she said. "I was going to take him out to the game this weekend and have it announced on the jumbotron, but I'll use it to distract him from your questionable decision making if I need to."

"I'm so happy for you!" Katara said pulling Suki in for a hug. Suki hugged her back tightly.

"I'm happy for you, too." And to her surprise, Suki realized she meant it.

[igotanidea]

No strings attached (3) : neighbor!JT x reader

masterlist

part. 1

part 2

Warning: swearing and innuendos, but nothing explicit, yet....

***

He didn’t really run far that night.

In the first alley he turned into, hoping to get some space away from his brothers he spotted a young woman getting attacked by some very drunk and very aggressive men and it made him cool off instantly once he beaten them off. Not for long though.

“Lena!” some way to familiar voice came from behind and another girl, who apparently did not care that it was the Red Hood in the flesh, came running, pushing him away before getting to her friend.

Y/N.

What was she doing here.

Was she all right?

God, it could have been her getting assaulted….

If so, Jason would probably tear the half of the Gotham down to ease his anger.

“Lena, are you all alright?” Y/N asked her friend, hugging the other girl tightly, checking for any bruises, cuts or other possible damages “I told you not to go outside!”

“I’m…. I’m sorry…..”

“Shit, Len, why can’t you just listen to me for once. You don’t know Gotham, you have no idea how shitty things can get in a matter of seconds……”

“I ….”

“Ekhem….” Jason took the moment to clear his throat and capture the girls’ attention.

“Oh, great” Y/N rolled her eyes “you just have to attract the Red Hood, Len. Why couldn’t it be Nightwing? At least we would know the blue one wouldn’t mock us.”

“Oh, not again” Jason grabbed his chest in the fake pain “why does every single lady in this hell hole dream about Nightwing, huh? Why is there no love for me?” he whined and looked down.

“Go inside, Len. I need to have a word with our underestimated protector.”

“But….”

“Just go.” Y/N pushed her towards the door to the bar and the other girl did not oppose this time. Once she disappeared, Y/N turned towards Jace and sighed deeply. “You probably don’t hear it very often, so thank you, Red. On the behalf of my crazy acquaintance. She’s not from around, not really familiar with the rules even if I told her thousands of times.” She shook her head lightly “Stubborn girl.”

“Seems like someone else I know.” Jason mumbled

“I’m sorry?” Y/N widened her eyes and it made his mind spin again.

“N-nothing, never mind.”

“did you just stuttered?” Y/N smirked in disbelief. “Is Red Hood intimidated by a common girl?”

“Do you want to see the scary version of me?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have enough time for this. Anyway, like I said, thank you for your help. And sorry to bother you, guess you have enough on your plate.”

“I always find some time for pretty ladies.” He smirked under the helmet not that she could see it.

“Right.” Y/N laughed “then I’m definitely not the one you should be talking to.”

Shit. She was just unreasonably good at diminishing herself and it was truly painful.

“Don’t you have any other place to be?” she tilted her head when he still didn’t move, eyes fixed on her face, making her a bit uncomfortable ‘because it’s all fine here and I’d hate to stall you.”

“Yeah, um, right.” He came back to reality, in which she was standing in front of him, not laying underneath, whispering his real name, not the vigilante one.  Back from the world, in which she was pulling him in and arching her back to get closer to his body, letting his hands roam all over her curves  and not telling him to go away. In which she didn’t need any clothes, even that pretty little outfit she had on at the moment.  “You…. you try to stay safe, sunshine, will ya?”

“In Gotham?” she raised an eyebrow “And people say you have no sense of humor, Red. Anyhow, I hope we will never get to meet under similar circumstances.”

“cause you want Nightwing?”

“Cause I don’t want trouble. Trust me, I already got enough of them. “ her eyes became a bit blurry and he started to wonder whether she was now thinking about her unruly neighbor Jason and what exactly was on her mind about him.

Shit, he was getting hard for her again.

“Nevermind. Gotta go scoff my friend for being reckless. You…. don’t get killed, I guess?  I’m not really sure what to say as a farewell to a vigilante….”

“That will do.” He smirked again and watched her as she turned around and disappeared inside the bar.

“Who was that?!”

“DAMN IT!” Dick took him completely by surprise by coming so close, without being noticed. In any other circumstances Jason would feel his presence from far away, but seemingly Y/N got him too distracted for that.  “what the fuck, Dickhead?”

“Do you know her?”

“It’s not your damn business.”

“She’s pretty you know. And seemingly bold. Couldn’t blame me you for falling for her. “

“I’m not falling for anyone! I don’t do relationships!”

“Right. You’re Mr. no-strings-attached. So, to say the least, you just want to fuck her, don’t you?”

“She’s my freaking neighbor!”

“Oh, I see.” Dick laughed “not ideal, but it can work for you, though. You can always come live in the Manor if something goes wrong. “

“You’re a terrible person” Jason hissed and walked away.

However, secretly, he started to think about what Grayson said. Not living in the Wayne Manor of course, but what if he truly did get what he wanted and then switched places? Could he do that? Was he that desperate to bed her and then leave? That was what he used to after all.

***

Y/N was always the responsible one. The mum of the group. Sticking to the rules, making sure her drunk as skunks friends got home safe. It was how she was. Trying to act mature. Trying to avoid trouble even if sometimes it  didn’t seem to work otherwise.

But it was a pain in the ass, since she obviously did not get to have a single drink during the night. Not much fun. So once she drove all the girls homes and made sure they locked the doors behind her, she came across the liquid store that was still open at 5 am. Good thing it was Saturday and she could sleep for as long as she wanted. But before going to bed, she was planning on having a one-person pity party getting wasted in the cosines of her own apartment. Seems like she couldn’t have counted on anything else.

Not that she really minded ,being the person who would rather avoid big crowds. Honestly, she was out tonight only because Lena dragged her out. It was supposed to be a celebration of the success of her newest play. Wonder if she would still consider it a success when upon waking up in the morning the hangover would dominate her mind and body.

Y/N didn’t even wait to get to her apartment when she opened the bottle. She took the first sip while still sitting in the care, not giving a damn about the rules and expectations. Not anymore. Then, taking off her pinching shoes started walking onto her floor, barefoot. When she reached the 6th floor, half of the bottle was already gone and she started getting dizzy. She was always light-headed. And maybe that was why she remembered that her crazy neighbor promised her a wine for help. Might as well do it now, while she was still in her “hot girl shit” phase.

“Todd!” she whispered-yelled, knocking at his door wondering how hard his sleep was and whether she could wake him up “Todd! Open up!”

“What the hell?!” indeed, he did open, but this was not the sight she was expecting to see. It looked like he was just taking a shower (who showers at 5 am on Saturday?!), and was standing in front of her wrapped up only in a towel hanging loosely on his hips. His bare torso was glistening and the angle of the light coming from the hallway routed out all the scars that littered his skin. He however doesn’t seem to care at all. Good choice since her hazy mind was now barely registering what was real and what not. “Y/N?” his voice became concerned and he himself got aware that he was standing half-naked in front of his neighbor.

The neighbor that was making him horny.

Shit.

“Hey, Jason….” she slurred “Never knew you look so good, under all those layers you wear. Damn, not I understand why that …. what was her name again? Maddie? Madison? Whatever…. I get why she is so stuck on you. With that body, damn boy, every girl would love to have you over or under or truly, everywhere” god please let the poor girl forget about all that drunk talk in the morning. If she knew, she would be the one switching places, not Jason. “But….” she staggered before catching her balance “I’m fine, I’m fine” those assurance were not really convincing, but Jason let her continue “I came for that wine you promised me.” She leaned on the doorframe, taking another sip from the bottle

“At 5 am?!” Jason reached inside his apartment grabbing a hoodie and putting it over his head trying to cover himself.

“Why not?” she giggled “I had a party with my girls, you know….. I didn’t really have any fun, so this…” she pointed towards her drink “is a compensation I guess. Might make it two.”

“I think you have enough” he stated and took the bottle from her hands, making her whine and whimper.

Shit again.

She truly was making pretty sounds.

“Give it back to me!”

“No, Y/N.”

“You’re a party pooper, Jason Todd.” She pouted “but if that’s how you are going to play, I guess I just go back to my place and ….”She didn’t get to finish that sentence, suddenly bending down and throwing up on his doorstep. Thank god, Jason’s instincts kicked in and he managed to hold her hair back. “Fuck….” She mumbled “this is so embarrassing ….. I’m sorry….. I’ll clean this up, I promise……”

“Don’t bother.” He shook his head “guess that makes us even, doesn’t it?”

“Mhm….” She muttered sleepily “I’ll be more than happy to start this acquaintance once again. We didn’t have a really good start, did we?” she chuckled

“Will you remember what you just said in the morning?”

“No…..?” she hesitated for a moment, her eyes falling shot and it took a lot of fight to not let them “will you remind me?”

“Sure.”

“I…. I feel sick to my stomach….. I’d better go.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m leaving you by yourself in this state” he grabbed her waist gently and pulled her inside.

“Jason Todd, are you trying to  get me to bed?” she giggled drunkenly

“You have no idea…..” he hissed, but it was obvious he was not going to use a wasted girl. He needed consent, verbal consent if anything were to happen. He always made sure of that. Otherwise, it would just be sick and beyond any level.  He was one-night-stander but not a savage or a rapist, damn it. So instead of letting his mind get consumed by lust he just carried her towards the bathroom and washed her face and forced her to get some water to clear the throat after throwing up. Her skin was just so soft and felt so right when he was touching her face. So smooth and silky it took a lot to not test if her lips were equally supple. But he gritted his teeth and fight the urge.

Before she could even realize what was happening he picked her up, bridal style and carried towards the bed. It was still made since he barely got back from patrol and had no time to mess it up. At least one thing was fixed in that crazy situation. He gently laid her down, but her limbs and her body refused to let him go. Apparently, once the first flirty and funny phase ended she got clingy and childish, wanting hugs and cuddles, even if they were coming from him (if she even knew who him was).

“Jason…..” she whined, when actually managed to free himself from her. Unwillingly, obviously, since he could keep her pressed to him like that for hours. But again, she had to be sober for that. Otherwise, how would she know how good he truly was  in bed (yes, it was not only about girls’ safety and consent but also a bit about bragging.)

“Yeah?”

“where will you sleep?”

“Couch.”

“Please, don’t….”

“What?” he froze at the spot. Was she really asking him to lay down with her? In his bed? With her body so close to him? With those flesh for the taking? His body ached for that, his hands started to shake as he imagines all the places they could wonder. Her waist, her belly, her breast…… “NO!” he yelled suddenly, startling her and getting another whimper. Shit, she was going to kill him, involuntarily “you sleep here, I’m taking the couch. Can’t risk you trying to grope me in your sleep with those sleazy hands…..

“Very funny, Todd. Ha, ha….” She trailed, but the sentence was finished only by the little snores and the sound of quiet breathing. “Thank you….” those two words reached him when he was almost out the bedroom door.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” he only responded.

This was going to be a long, sleepless night.

How could he even close an eye, knowing she was right behind the wall.

So fucking close……

@llnellyll

[lokisgoodgirl]

Highland Fling [Avenger!/Kilted! Loki x Fem. Reader]

Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection A link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: (7) An insufferably smug Kilted! Loki has a convenient history with the mission location, a scottish castle. Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Language. Smuttish. "Friends" w/ benefits. Kilted! Loki. Jealousy. Humour. (w/c 3.6k)

How you had let yourself go along with this idiotic plan was beyond you. A scouting mission to a wedding in the highlands of Scotland with only Loki Laufeyson for company. But Rogers had been insistent. The last hour had passed quietly as you prepped in one of the castle bedooms, changing into a simple swing dress that was definitely not red.

Rolling mountains were visible outside a small window cut into original brick, fog wafting over the rusted mossy landscape. “You have other lovers, Agent... or only me?” Loki drawled smugly while straightening his cravat, spoken as casually as asking you to pass the salt.

Steam from the curling iron stung your eyes as you tried not to let your expression change in the mirror, eyes flickering to him stalking over from the four poster bed. Loki’s reflection took up top to toe of the ornate mirror, a tweed waistcoat and jacket snug to his torso. Muted green, of course. A kilt hung perfectly from his natural waist, the thick apron at the front making a flat expanse over his thighs. The pleated sides swung beautifully as he paced towards you, heavy wool held in place by leather straps and buckles tight to his hips. He adjusted a black sporran hanging over his crotch, the leather detail catching your eye. Intricate metal ornaments set against the black rabbit fur clunked as he spread his legs, the dark green and grey tartan looking unreasonably delicious falling over his thighs. Loki’s lashes fanned against his skin as he lowered his chin, smoothing the rough waves of his hair behind his ears. The wedding party was of an old scots clan, so only a traditionally extravagant show of their heritage would do. Every man would be wearing full kilt regalia. But none, you suspected, would look as incredibly panty-wetting as Loki. “Yes, actually.” you lied, running your eyes casually over his muscular frame, wrapped in woven wool. His carved knees were visible at the hem of the kilt. Just the sight of them made you want to sink to your own. “Just, one...you know other...um-” “Lover.” he purred seductively, enjoying the brief furrow of your brow. You released the curl you’d been holding, shaking it out and setting the iron down. “Yeah...lover, yeah. He’s good. He’s uh...nice.” You could feel your heart beat faster as Loki’s chest pressed against your shoulder-blades, the scratch of tweed nipping your bare back. “How tiresome, I’m am sorry.” he murmured condescendingly, twisting your fresh curl around one long finger. You swatted the hand away with a tsk, rummaging in the small make-up bag sitting on the bed-side table. Your mouth felt dry, the deception making your cheeks heat. You swallowed, turning back to the mirror non-nonchalantly. “What about you?” Why did you ask him that, you fucking buffoon? It’s Loki. He’s got a fucking waiting list.

A sly smile curled at the corner of his mouth. “What do you think?” he said, the implication unmistakably clear.

You let your eyes fall back to your own reflection, inspecting your make-up. “Oh I’m sorry, I thought we were having an actual conversation for once.” you said, tilting your chin as you pressed your eyelashes back. “We have conversations all the time Agent, ‘tis hardly my fault they irritate you so.” You sighed, realising victory was a lost cause. There was a churning in your stomach. “I have a bad feeling about this, Loki.” you murmured, scanning your reflection. He chuckled softly. You could hear his dexterous fingers toying with the buckles at his hips. His warm breath ghosted the bare skin of your shoulders. “All we need to do is assess whether the best man is still in league with Hydra. The signs will be obvious.” Loki took a step back, a flash of green in his raised hand drawing your attention.

A buttonhole appeared, a simple thistle with a ribbon of green and gold wrapped intricately around the stem. He continued to speak as he fastened it to his breast, the tilt of his jawline and the concentration on his face making gratuitous wetness gather in your underwear. “If he is, we can use his connection to our advantage. You are a family friend of the wedding party, a normal and understandable guest. And I…” he stepped backwards, the buttonhole in place, drawing his hands upward from his groin to his chest. “Am your delightfully plain yet devoted boyfriend, Edgar.” “Edgar? Christ.” you murmured dryly before you turned towards him, narrowing your eyes. “You look the same.” How is it possible, you thought as a shiver of desire rolled up your spine, that he is more attractive than his own reflection. Now that you were facing him, the scent of his cologne wafted in tendrils up your nostrils, memories of him fucking you slowly over an earth-shattering orgasm filling your head. That cologne. I didn’t change my sheets for days, you remembered; stomach flipping. “Ah...yes.” he purred slowly, amusement sparking as he registered the glaze in your eyes. “Well everyone else shall see my illusion, but I thought I would leave my true form on display for your eyes only. I know you love to stare when you think I’m not looking so at least this way, our ruse that you are attracted to Edgar will have some semblance of realism.” The spell was broken. Your mouth fell ajar, speechless at his audacity. He was right. But that wasn’t the point. You frowned, concern growing as Loki began to smirk. “Why would I not be attracted to Edgar?” His gaze crawled down your body and back to your piercing stare. “Poor Edgar is rather punching above his weight class, Agent.” You whined in frustration, harshly tugging the lapel of his jacket. “Make him hot, Loki please...come on. Don’t be a dick this one time.This isn’t funny, people I haven’t seen in years are at this wedding.”

“I cannot I’m afraid.” Loki sighed, creases at the corner of his eyes betraying his mirth. ‘Bland and inconspicuous’ were Rogers exact words. And darling, nothing is more inconspicuous than a paunch and a bald spot.”

“A bald…” you trailed off, squeezing your eyes shut with a sharp intake of breath. He was trying to get a rise out of you, and you wouldn’t let him. “I hate you.” you scoffed flippantly, twirling the lipstick between your fingers as you turned toward the mirror. You leant forward, feeling his eyes burning into your reflection. Pressing your newly coated lips together, your gaze flickered up where Loki stood in his signature power stance. His arms were crossed, chin tucked to the cravat rising from his waistcoat as he observed you flip the lid back on the golden tube with a click. “Let’s try that again. Once more with feeling, Agent.” he murmured, swiping a strand of hair back from your collarbone. “Make me believe it.” Loki’s fingertips trailed the delicate skin, lingering a moment too long to be anything less than an act of war. Reluctantly, you turned your eyes up to meet his smoulder in the reflection, resisting the urge push your ass back onto the sporran. “I hate you.” you said, red lipstick punching every syllable. “That’s better.” he smirked. “Now let’s go and pretend to be in love...shall we?”

It felt odd, having Loki – or Edgar -be nice to you. Affectionate, even. Without a hint of innuendo or snideness. Edgar followed you diligently around the room as you greeted old friends, and you surmised pretty quickly that Loki had undersold just how far Edgar was punching above his weight. During one conversation, Loki’s large palm had slid unexpectedly up your cheek and coaxed you into a soft kiss. His tongue had played at the parting of your lips, pressure building and ebbing as he massaged them with his own. “I’ll be right back...darling.” he whispered softly.

He was gone before you realised your eyes were still closed. “He seems...sweet.” an old acquaintance cooed as your pretend boyfriend skulked to fetch another round of free wine. “He is.” you lied, still processing the kiss as you noted the bemusement in her eyes. She looked from you to Edgar, bumbling around the drinks table. “What does he do again?” she asked politely, draining her glass. “Oh, erm...he’s an accountant.” you replied, noting her eyes glaze over. If she knew that he’s actually the fittest man she’d ever see in her life who happens to be a sex god...and an actual god, she’d cream herself with jealousy; you thought wistfully. Your stare was drawn irrevocably back to Loki, holding up each pre-poured glass to inspect it in the light. His long arms bulged beneath the restraint of the tweed jacket, his perfectly fitted kilt swaying with classical eroticism. The line of his calves tightened beneath thick knee-high socks, traditional laces winding up his muscles. Suddenly Loki knelt down on one knee, brushing the kilt up. His thumb and forefinger gripped the muscle, the taut skin of his thigh coming into view before he readjusted the laces at his ankle.For the first time, you noticed a ceremonial sgian-dubh dagger tucked in those stupid socks. Maybe I’ll let him use it on me later, you thought; remembering with a snap that you were in company. Or maybe he won’t ask first.

Loki’s chin tilted towards you, fluttering his eyes upwards to meet yours. He winked.

You felt saliva pool beneath your tongue before you swallowed, turning back to the woman with a manufactured smile. “I think it’s great you’re so into him. He must be a really nice guy.” the woman said, her saccharine lilt making you wince. It was going to be a long night.

Hours later, after the speeches and the meal; you conceded that Loki had officially run out of ways to irritate the everloving fuck out of you. He had spent the entire dinner turning every conversation at the table toward the nuances of asset depreciation and the politics of taxable turnover. Now that they were no longer obligated to stay, everyone at your table of ten had left. “It’s just my personality, darling.” Loki said knowingly under his breath, as you watched the last person splutter their excuses and make a beeline for the bar. “Mischievous?” you huffed through a fake smile, giving the deserter an apologetic wave goodbye. “I find it hard to believe you’re naturally this much of an asshole.” “But you seem to like it so much, Agent.” he grinned, fiddling with a crumpled napkin on the table as his eyes fell briefly to your cleavage. You pursed your lips, scanning the room. “This is a total bust, there’s no hint of Hydra security anywhere. Best man is a dead end.” you murmured, landing back on Loki. “Well, it was a longshot.” he whispered seductively, his fingers dancing over the table to where yours sat. They clasped around your hand, toying affectionately with your rings before raising them to his lips. Turns out, he was actually pretty good at this whole acting thing; but then, you shouldn’t have been surprised. “Perhaps Rogers was misinformed on the lead.” he murmured against your skin.

You let out a staggered breath as memories of the earlier kiss blossomed in your mind. He’s not going to kiss you, no one’s watching, you thought as his blue eyes sparked into yours, the gold specks decorating his irises flickering in the candlelight. You shook your head. “-...like that little quip about charity.” you sniped, yanking your hand away. “No-one’s naturally that much of a dick.” “Are we still talking about that? Agent, that was weeks ago.” he huffed, reaching for the untouched wine in front of him. Silence reigned between you as he drummed his fingers on the table, looking towards the dancefloor before his gaze swung back. “And why did it bother you so much?” “Are you…” you lowered your voice to a hiss, placing a finger on your temple as you leant toward him on the table. “Are you serious? You pretty much said I’m a pity fuck. That’s low, even for you.” There was silence as you both stared ahead. You looked at Loki from the corner of your eye, feeling a wave of renewed anger as a tepid smirk tugged at his lips. “If I was Nat I’d have smashed a bottle over your head.” Loki’s eyes flashed as he turned; smelling prey. “You are every bit as ferocious as Ms Romanoff, Agent...so why didn’t you?” Your stare hardened further. “Because firstly, I don’t want my boss to know who I’m fucking and secondly, I don’t want him to know I’m fucking you.” “Ah.” Loki hummed thoughtfully, biting away a grin. “And there we have it. You’re ashamed of your growing feelings for me. Reason, at last.” “Oh my god, you are fucking unbel-”

“Darling...eh-he-he...oh, delightful...delightful joke…” Loki patted your leg, letting out a chiming laugh while several guests passed behind your seats. He leant forward, tightening his grip on your thigh. You clenched, his firm squeeze filling your head with filth. Loki’s hand slid upward, the rustling of your dress giving way to his touch making you breathe faster. His nose grazed your ear. “You’re forgetting yourself, Agent." he chided. "Concentrate.” The god’s lips brushed your cheek as he released an innocent breath that sounded almost like a moan before returning upright in his chair. He was smirking, naturally. “Edgar could be an asshole, they don’t know” you shrugged, crossing your legs. You could feel the arousal you had been fighting sliding between your thighs as you reached for your drink, before slumping back in the chair. “I think Edgar and I will be calling it quits, actually.” “Edgar is not an arsehole, darling. He is a fine, if rather...unfortunate looking, fellow. And you’re lucky to have him.” Loki said calmly, enjoying the view of your glare from his peripheral vision as he sipped his wine. He set it down with a theatrical sigh. “Besides, this might be a perfect opportunity for you to confront your prejudice toward me.” Your eyes widened. “Excuse me?” “Charity.” he said, as if it explained everything. Your felt your heart beat faster, stirrings of a memory you couldn’t yet place. Your brows knitted together. “Yes? And?” The blue of his eyes darkened in the low light from the antique candle centrepieces as he leant closer, his eyelids cast down before they fluttered innocently upward. “Does the mortal child looking for a marrow donor not ring a bell in that pretty head of yours?” Your stomach dropped, suddenly remembering how he had stepped in at the eleventh hour to help with the nationwide campaign to find a donor at your reluctant request. Apparently, he was a big draw for female demographics aged 18-45. ‘Could you be her hero? Remember, not all heroes...wear leather’. Fuck, you’d hated that line. You felt your core flutter at the memory of watching him make love to the camera, his chiselled face set in a rare, wide-eyed sincerity as he wrapped in one take. “I thought not. How quick you humans are to seek the conclusion you wish to find.” Loki’s smug glee was palpable. You spluttered, your mind whirring. “But...the way you said it.” “With my voice?” he intonated, laden with sarcasm. “The assumption that I was referencing our trysts? That was created...here.” he tapped your forehead lightly with one long finger. You scoffed, grabbing your clutch. “Your witchy mindfucks won’t work on me, Laufeyson.” you hissed, pushing up from the chair. “Is that right?” he said, a smile tugging the corner of his mouth. “Yes.” you spat, taking a step towards the door before Loki grabbed your wrist. “Let me escort you, we shouldn’t draw attention to ourselves with a scene.” He scanned the room. People were making their way to the dancefloor as the party began, shards of mirrorball light bouncing against the chunky ancient stone brickwork. With a grimace, you conceded he was probably right.

You tugged your arm from his grip. “Fine.” you said, waiting for him to stand. God, I’d forgotten about the kilt, you thought; as it swung into view. The flat apron of tartan at the front creased, the unstoppable bulge of his cock flashing momentarily against the thick fabric. That wool has like...layers, you thought, bamboozled by the ridiculousness of his anatomy. “Come.” he muttered, jutting his arm. You slid your own around it, making your way together to the heavy doors. The music grew fainter as Loki walked purposefully through a series of winding corridors, medieval style torches hanging from the brickwork flooding the small spaces with an orange glow. “Where are we going? I don’t think we’re supposed to be here...” you murmured, your head swirling with sensory overload in the flickering gloom as Loki squeezed your fingers around his bicep. “I want to show you something…” he whispered, as a dripping sounded from the stretching darkness beyond. You were acutely aware of every click of your heels underfoot breaking the silence. He led you deeper away from the modernised area of the castle, the stone wall beneath your fingertips feeling moist as you trailed along it. You and Loki side-by-side took up the entire passage, a sliver of ebbing light appearing from around an upcoming turn. “Is your cock pierced again- is that why you’re making such a fuss?” you blurted with a need to fill the intimate, crushing silence. Loki’s low chuckle echoed. “You liked that, didn't you Agent? I could tell.”

You were suddenly glad for the darkness, feeling your cheeks flush. Turning the corner, you gasped as an old chapel room came into view, a window cut into the high wall sending a single beam of dust-filled light across the floor. Stern arches raised on either side of the walls, a stale musk of history heavy in the air. As you stared up at the vaulted ceiling, you felt Loki’s arms slide around your waist from behind. “I was almost wed in this chapel once.” he murmured coyly, releasing a groan into your ear on the exhale. He rubbed his cheekbone possessively against your temple, his voice deepening. “What are the chances?” “Wed? Wha-” “Hush, Agent.” he purred, spinning you to face him. You stared up at his insufferably perfect face, the sharp features carved like marble; set for a scene which had clearly already been decided. You shivered, rough brickwork scratching your skin as he nudged you backward. “You already know that I have enjoyed occasional Midgardian dalliances, throughout my lifetime” he hummed, trailing his knuckles down your neck. “Sex and violence are so much more potent, within this realm. So...raw.” “And motorcross…” you gasped, shrugging his tweed jacket over his biceps and casting it to the ground. You popped the buttons of his waistcoat, as he chuckled; letting it slide away. “Indeed” he purred, pushing you back against the wall before untying the cravat from his neck and tossing it aside. Loki un-tucked his shirt from the kilt waistband, before gracefully fingering the buttons and letting it join the pile of discarded clothing on the bricks below. Only the kilt remained. He placed a palm flat against the wall behind you, inhaling dramatically against the skin of your neck. A whimper snuck past your lips as you felt the lustful god buck against you, his chiselled torso flat against your fragile body.

“I spent some time here in the mid-1700s. There was mischief afoot amongst the Scots which I felt obliged to...encourage.” he hummed, playing with the shoulder of your dress. You frowned. “Are you talking about the Jacobites?” Loki chuckled, placing a sucking bite against your skin before answering. “Indeed. Norns, I haven’t heard that stupid name in a long time.” His forefinger caressed the hollow of your neck, making you tilt your chin upward with a moan. “Loki…we shouldn't-” you whispered, as your fingers combed his hair back, tugging gently. “-It’s all a bit dull, really.” he continued, as your palms slid down his shoulders and over his chest. “I was caught ravishing the clan leader’s daughter. Against this very wall, in fact." He bit his lip, running his eyes ravenously down your keening body. "She was howling my name with such enthusiasm the entire warrior guard kicked down that door ready for slaughter, axes in hand. Naturally, her father tried to marry us on the spot.”

Your mind spasmed, thinking of Loki rutting into another woman as she came against this stone three hundred years ago. “Needless to say...events did not fall in their favour.” Loki hummed, his knuckles trailing appraisingly over the dent of your cheekbone. He really is a timeless wanker, you thought; realising your hand had begun to palm his engorged cock beneath the kilt.

The god’s fingers curled around your throat, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Does it arouse you, thinking of me with another?” he groaned, rocking against your hand. “She’s dead.” you gasped, feeling him grow thicker beneath your touch. “Mmm...it’s still possible to be jealous of a dead lover, Agent. Would you like the chance to best her? She was rather memorable.” You gathered a clutch of thick wool containing his throbbing girth in a tight fist, squeezing harder than you ever had in your life. "I can't stand you Loki, I don't care who you fuck now...never mind hundreds of years ago." Loki hissed above you, shoulders rolling back, his mouth falling open. “Ahhhh” he gasped, eyelids fluttering shut as you doubled down. “If you are trying to make me suffer, Agent...I must confess, that is not the way to do it.” “So you’re a true Scotsman tonight, huh?” you goaded, raising an eyebrow as you tugged the rough wool covering his cock. “At least...in one respect. If lacking in others. I guess that’s something.” Snideness coloured your words, enjoying the twisting of his eyebrows as he searched for the insult beneath his pleasure. There was no hint of underwear beneath the garment as Loki flinched, his knees beginning to buckle as you roughly jacked him against the fabric. “Oh, Agent” he hummed, fingernails scraping against the wall behind you as his eyes rolled back. Loki let out a single animalistic grunt, before swatting your wrist away from its grip. He had found the insult.

His fingers wrapped around your forearm, suddenly pulling you across the chapel floor towards an imposing stone staircase in the corner. A thin rope stretched across the opening, a worn sign hanging lamely in the middle before he tore it aside. Battlements, it read. You gasped as the world upended. Loki had thrown you over his shoulder. With arms hanging by his ass, you watched the kilt swing methodically as your half-hearted cries of protestation choked the air, blood thundering in your ears. You felt rough layers of clothing manifest over his bare torso as you squirmed, the tartan changing in waves beneath your palms as he bounded up the rough-cut stairs two at a time.

“Tonight you’ll see just how much of a true Scotsman I can be.” he muttered darkly, before kicking the heavy door at the top of the staircase wide to the night air with a shuddering thud.

Continued in Highland Fling - The Battlements Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection

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[cryptile]

Thing and Petey's Valentine's Day fiction!

This is them for reference if you don't know ^ Thing is a tibetan fox (she/they/it) and Petey is a Canada Lynx (he/him) and they are a queer-platonic couple so the words partner and friend will be used interchangeably!!!

Thing was sleepy, sleepier than she was on most days, she blamed it on the sad, rainy weather, but the unreasonably early-hour History of Film lecture it started its day with definitely added to the tiredness. The Scratchy sound of steaming, foamy milk pouring into a glossy white cup on the counter in front of her didn't do much to wake her up, and the light chattering of happy couples seated around the cafe helped even less. Eyelids heavy and head wobbly, it tried to take a step back, before being swooped upwards by a mass of comically long, uncomfortably damp fur, and into a very, very startling hug.

“P… Petey…” Thing croaked, spitting wet hairs out of its mouth.

The large Lynx just purred in response, wiggling her from left to right with glee.

“What are you doing at work? It's Valentine's Day!” 

“You say that every year, Petey, you should be working too.” Thing muttered in her usual flat tone. 

The lynx put her back down onto the floor gently and shrugged. 

“It's been hard finding accessible jobs lately, but it's no biggie, I've been getting by somehow.” Petey swung his wrist dismissively, “Doesn't matter, come on!”

“B-but the coffee, i need to serve the… customer” Thing pointed at the annoyed customer in desperation, but Petey was already squeezing into his chair and gestured towards Thing's seat across from him.

With a sigh, Thing sat down, its tail lazily dropped into the open space between the seat and the backseat, where her black leather bag was hung. She opened her mouth but before any work related questions escaped it, the answer came to her in the form of its co-worker placing a cup of black coffee, her favorite, in front of her and giving them a weak but encouraging thumbs up.

“Huh. Did you arrange this?” She turned to Petey. 

“...well, no, I just assumed they wouldn't mind letting you go for a little while.”

Thing took a deep breath, an attempt to settle its stress, trying to focus only on her coffee, and her partner who was already being served his milky cappuccino and dessert. 

“This is all very nice.” It said, not only to express its gratitude, but as an affirmation to herself.

“Please, Peet, just tell me next time you intend on getting me off work.” Thing's expressionless face was unusually hard to read, but Petey has known the fox for enough time to know she is pleased with her little break.

The friends' warm conversation quickly blended into the hubbub of the couple-filled café. The work-related tension that earlier held onto Thing tightly has now disappeared, making space for a feeling of security and familiarity that accompanied all time spent with her fluffy boyfriend, whose slowly drying fur has somehow already found itself in Thing's cup.

A tingling in the fox's throat suddenly interrupted its current tangent, and when they were finally finished coughing up fur they spoke again. 

“How haven't you gotten a haircut yet?!” It examined Petey's overgrown winter coat, his cheek fur already touching the rim of his shirt and his ear tufts long enough to droop down and tingle the fleshy insides of his ears.

“Meh, money's been thin, remember how i told you ’bout the job problems? Turns out no gig means no money.” He chuckled

“Yeah.” Thing simply responded. Though its friend's fur was long and all over the place, he lacked the prominent fluff on his chin, that's been present ever since he transitioned.

“Which reminds me… um, well first of all happy Valentine's Day, Thingy.” 

Thing looked at him with a suspectful gleam in her eyes. She could already see his big paw kneading at the table with anxiety, though careful not to scratch its surface. 

“I… I got you a gift, but… I hope you understand if it's not much… you know how it is.”

“Doesn't matter, I don't really like many objects.” She replied, squeezing as much comforting energy out of herself as she could, which unfortunately wasn't much. When the silence between them extended for too long, it spoke again. “...Maybe I'll start then?”

Petey nodded with relief. 

The small fox has been aware of his recent financial situation for a while now, and somewhat expected him to find some things not affordable at the moment, and the visible change in his features has done nothing to hide that. Thing pulled something out of their bag, a white envelope and a small, duct tape covered cardboard box, both decorated with a neatly tied bow. 

“You've been off T lately, must be pretty distressing.” She remarked, sliding the envelope towards him, but still held onto the little box. “Inside there is some cash for your hormones, Peets.” 

Petey's muzzle twisted into a weak smile, he tensed his eyebrows to keep the tears from pouring out like a river. He tried opening his mouth to speak, but closed it back again when all that came out was a crackling mumble of a ‘thank you’, broken up by his loud purring. 

The Tibetan fox's tail wagged lightly behind it as it still held onto the little box.

“... What's in there?” The Lynx finally managed to speak again. 

“Needles, for the testosterone, i assumed you wouldn't have many left so i got you a surplus.” She quietly placed the box on the table. “Don't open it though, it would raise some questions. Gifting needles and an envelope of money isn't a very normal activity in public.” 

Petey nodded, his smile brightly contrasted with the gloomy sky outside, basking in the security of being able to afford his HRT for another few weeks. 

His face darkened quickly though, as he remembered it's his turn on the gift-giving.

He took a deep breath. “Okay, I really hope you'll enjoy these, I mean, I technically know you will… Well, I know you really love those old horror films, and I went out on some scavenger hunts around the ancient, shitty part of town…” As he stalled, Thing's tail-wagging was slowly increasing in frequency, their feet joining in and tapping the floor lightly. “...And i know this isn't much… but….”

He placed a crinkled up gift bag on the table. She eyed it with excitement, the item towering over her small frame.

“Go on, op-” Before he could finish, Thing was already crinkling the bag towards her with her paws, peeking inside to see a collection of dusty cassette tapes and DvD discs in varying conditions. Its feet thumped on the floor and its tail wagged aggressively, nearly hitting the sides of their chair. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you thank you…” they repeated quietly, examining the various films, checking their condition and already plotting how to fix them. Petey watched her with a grin even brighter than before, joining in on the foot-taps in solidarity and accompanying their excitement with his own, booming purr.

“This is everything to me.” Thing announced, after a moment of silent joy. 

“You're everything to me.” Petey's irises were swollen with love, as he clutched his gifts in his big paws. 

“Gross! …Yeah, you too.” The fox replied, lightly touching its partner's leg with her foot. “And stop worrying so much, you could give me a dead frog and I wouldn't think less of you.” 

Petey giggled. “I thought I was the gross one!” 

“You are.” She reaffirmed, before the two friends fell back into their usual conversation topics, gossipping and talking about their day until the winter sun hid back behind the bustling city's tall buildings.

[andypantsx3]

support tech major graduate!reader becomes fast best friends with fuyumi after fuyumi moves into her new apartment and has no idea who fuyumi is related to, but thinks she looks kinda familiar. cue pro hero!shouto coming over for the first time to visit his big sister and getting the apartment numbers mixed up 🫢

"Hello-oooly shit," was the complete idiocy that escaped you.

The man at your front door stared down at you. 

He was tall and insensibly handsome, with a mop of scarlet and white hair and two mismatched eyes. He wore a dark turtleneck that stretched over a set of broad shoulders, belted neatly into a pair of jeans that clung tightly to his muscular thighs.

He had to be the most utterly perfect human being you had ever seen in person.

He was also absolutely, horrifyingly familiar.

Pro hero Shouto.

"You are not Fuyumi," he intoned, his voice low and soft, the way you'd heard it on a hundred TV broadcasts. Except it was also, inexplicably, slightly accusatory.

It took you an incredibly long moment to fish the name Fuyumi out of the recesses of your brain, and realize that you knew it.

Fuyumi was your neighbor a couple doors down—a white-haired, friendly girl who taught elementary school and baked what had to be the most unreasonably delicious welcome cookies this side of the Noto Peninsula.

And apparently, her family name was Todoroki.

"Neither are you," you said pointedly.

Pro hero Shouto blinked at you, long and slow like a cat. "I should hope not."

You stared up at him, absolutely mystified by this response. The hell did that mean? "Uh...good that we're on the same page then?" you ventured.

Shouto's brows creased ever-so-slightly, as if you were equally as mystifying to him. As though you were the one who had turned up at his apartment and accused him of not being someone.

Which—oh.

"You're looking for Fuyumi's apartment?" you guessed.

Shouto nodded, holding up a piece of scrap paper with your building's address noted in an utterly atrocious hand. You were immediately clear on how the mix up had happened.

"Oh! That's supposed to be a seven, I think," you said, touching the final digit of the unit number. "I'm three oh one, she's three oh seven. Did someone with a broken hand write this?"

You'd meant it as a joke, but Shouto floored you by nodding. "She called before medical check in," he said.

You could have slapped yourself. "Oh my god, I—you literally had a broken hand."

After he'd rescued someone, probably, too, and here you were being a dick about it!

"I'm so sorry, I'm such a weenie," you said. "Yeah, she's a few doors down that way, you should find her in a second. I—uh—it was cool to, um. Meet you. In person. She's—tell Fuyumi I said hi."

Shouto nodded seriously, pocketing the piece of paper. "Shall I tell her you say 'Hello-oooly shit'?" he asked.

You spluttered wildly, an embarrassed heat licking up your veins so fast you thought you might be spontaneously combusting.

"You—that's—! In my own home!" was all that you managed.

A tiny half-smile pulled at Shouto's mouth. He watched you for a long minute, those famous heterochromatic eyes flickering over your face.

 "Thank you for your help," he said finally, his voice going light and gentle. "I hope we will see each other again."

And then he stepped away from your door, and you had the good sense to gasp out a, "Yes! Goodbye!" and slam it shut behind him, your heartbeat racing.

A low, soft chuckle echoed in the hall.

And you wondered how soon, exactly, you might see Shouto Todoroki again.

I loved this idea, anon!! Thank you for letting me play with it!! 🥺

I hope you had a very excellent Shouto's Birthday lmao.

[oddlydrawnpuppets]

HEY YALL IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING YOU EARLIER BUT

The chapter is almost finished I SWEAR I’m SO SORRY it a been taking so long but yk Christmas happened then new years and I got super sick AND on top of that I work a full time job it’s just been so much. SO as an apology I wanted to give you guys a sneak-peek of what to expect from this chapterl!

Excerpt from Turning Shadows into shapes

Chapter 2, Embrace the Unknown

Tim made his way up the staircase and went to Damian’s room. He found that the brat had left his door open, and he peeked his head inside, looking for traps. Damian was at his desk, sharpening and carefully inspecting one of the many swords that he usually hung on his walls.

“What do you want, Drake? Surely you did not come to my room just to stand in the doorway.” Damian called out, still sharpening his blade.

“Are you busy right now? I wanted to ask a favor.”

“Does it look like I’m busy, Drake?” He cleaned and oiled the blade, cut his thumb purposefully and put it back in its scabbard before hanging it back on the wall.

“Um, yes?”

“Good to know your eyes are working. Now leave my room.” He grabbed another sword from the wall and unsheathed it, glaring at Tim.

“It’s important, there are unknown metas in Gotham, it could be trouble.” Tim called the brats bluff, keeping half of himself in Damian’s room. There’s no way he would stab him… again… right?

“Last chance Drake, I have not yet cleaned this blade, so I have no qualms with dirtying it. Leave.” He pointed the blade threateningly at Tim, unblinking. Okay so maybe he wasn’t bluffing. He needed to get Damian interested in this fast, or else this was going to be like when the brat first showed up all over again.

“You know, I thought one of them was one of your clones at first, he looked exactly like you.” That caught the brats attention. He lowered his blade slightly as Tim continued. “I think he’s somewhere around your age too, only reason I knew he definitely wasn’t you is because was he was smiling, oh and his eyes were blue.”

If Tim blinked, he wouldn’t have been able to see how quickly Damian sheathed his blade. Something he said had caught the demon brats attention, and he wasn’t going to question it as long as all his blood stayed on the inside.

“What do you want me to do Drake?” Tim took that as permission to enter the room, ignoring the glare that was still pointed in his direction.

“I’m directing a debrief on the situation, as I have the most information on the two of them. I haven’t been able to get any photos of their faces, though, and I know you’re an artist, so I was thinking you could maybe help me out?” The question hung in the air for what seemed like forever, Damian glaring at Tim, and Tim ready to book it if things go wrong.

“Your share of Alfred’s cookies. For a month.” That… wasn’t too unreasonable, especially for the brat. Something was up.

“That’s it?” The question was met with silence. Everyone would kill for Alfred’s cookies, including Tim, but if he could get Damian to actually work with him on something, maybe the cookies were worth it. “Deal.”

[thedeerman]

RadioApple Week Day 3: Deal

Excerpt from DYWTK Chapter 8: Tell

Well… Here goes nothing. “I… enjoy being around you.” 

Alastor stayed quiet, so Lucifer continued. “I was hoping that, maybe, if you didn’t mind, maybe we could… spend more time together?” He stared at Alastor from across the table, waiting for him to speak. After a few moments, the radio demon said, “In what way?”

Lucifer didn’t know how to answer. He sat there for too long, trying to form a response to the unexpected question. Eventually, Alastor spoke again. “What I’m asking is what you want. What you would expect of me.” Suddenly, it clicked in Lucifer’s mind. He wants terms and conditions. Clear expectations. 

Hoping he’d landed on the right answer, Lucifer responded to the best of his ability. “I guess what I want is… Companionship? I… would like to be in your company more often. And.. get to know you better. If you would have me.” He struggled to hold Alastor’s gaze, trying not to squirm under the tension.

There was a long moment of silence, but eventually the radio demon laughed and his smile grew into something sharp. Lucifer felt a chill deep in his bones as the room suddenly went dark. The only visible light came from Alastor’s glowing red eyes and his outstretched hand, producing an eerie green haze. A radio filtered voice that seemed to come from both everywhere and nowhere echoed, “Let’s make a deal.”

Lucifer was determined to hide his anxiety as he looked into the eyes of the radio demon, waiting to see what it was he was going to be offered. As the light continued to pour from Alastor’s hand, he spoke again, less demonic sounding this time. “I will give you my time, my companionship, and my attention to a reasonable degree, for as long as our deal stays intact.” He spoke slowly, and Lucifer hung on every word. “In return, you will not cross any of the boundaries that I establish regarding the relationship between us. I will set those boundaries whenever I please, I will be able to change them as I see fit, and I will not be required to give you any explanations regarding the boundaries that I set. Additionally, you will agree not to use your power to harm me.”

Lucifer listened intently, waiting to hear Alastor ask for something unreasonable. This kind of just sounds like… a normal relationship? Lucifer finally asked “Um… is that it?” Alastor was quiet for a moment. “And finally,” he continued, “So long as the deal is intact, you will offer me physical protection, should I ever need it.” Lucifer was confused. Protection? Who the hell would someone like Alastor need protection from…? He thought hard for a moment. He really did want to try this. While he was wary of the restrictions, they all seemed fair. Lucifer had no reason to believe he would ever want to genuinely hurt Alastor, and if they ended up forming a stronger bond, chances are that Lucifer would be willing to protect the radio demon from any potential threats anyway.

He swallowed. “Is that all?” he asked nervously. Alastor’s eyes never left him. “Yes… those are the terms of the deal.” Reasonable enough… Lucifer took a deep breath and nodded. He reached out towards the radio demon, golden light flowing from his palm. Alastor grabbed Lucifer’s hand roughly and pulled the angel towards him. With their faces only inches apart, Lucifer could focus on nothing but Alastor’s flickering red eyes. The radio demon lowered his voice to a static free, unfiltered whisper. “Deal.”

The walls around them shook violently for a moment as the fabric of Hell seemed to absorb the deal its king had forged. The green and golden light between their hands bled together before disappearing, having sealed the pact on both of their souls.

[hbosucc]

Greg Hirsch x Reader: Chapter 3

A little shorty chapter today! I probably won't post a chapter a day forever, so enjoy while it lasts lol. Eventually I will run out of chapters.

Link to previous chapter

This chapter is also fairly tame. Swearing, dubious morals, discussion of ATN news. Smut starts in the next chapter after this one (chapter 4).

Thank you to anyone reading!! <3 I think all that any writer can hope for is someone, even one person, reading their work and enjoying it. So I hope you enjoy xoxoxo mwah

Chapter 3: Confrontation

“You work for fucking ATN?” I hissed over my coffee mug. We were at my favorite café near the school on my lunch break. Greg had a rare day off, so he’d been able to meet me last minute, though he hadn’t known I was going to confront him about his job.

          “I—I can explain,” His eyes grew wide.

          “Yeah, you’d better be able to explain that, Greg,” I said, folding my arms. “God, I finally find a guy I actually like, and he works for the fucking devil. When were you going to tell me about this? Were you waiting for me to sleep with you first, or something?”

          “No, no,” He sighed, putting his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up at me. “My family owns ATN. Well, my cousins and uncle do. Remember how I told you I was really broke? This job was my last resort, believe me, but I, like, really needed it. I was literally living in a men’s shelter when I started there.”

          “Fuck,” I said under my breath, taking a sip of my latte. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

          “I mean, first of all, it’s an embarrassing place to work, obviously,” He said, and I nodded. “Also, I just…I think…I mean, it’s not like I’m super rich or anything, but I think…in the past, some girls have maybe gone out with me, just because I’m technically part of the Roy family, so they expect that I will be. Rich, I mean, which I’m not.

          “And—and I thought you seemed really cool, and I wanted to get to know you without all of that…stuff in the way, at first.”

          I let his words sink in. He had lied by omission, yes, but I understood his reasoning.

          “It’s bad, I know.” He looked at me pleadingly. “I’m so, so sorry I didn’t tell you right away.”

          “You should be.”

          “I am!” Greg sighed. I had to look away, because the puppy dog eyes were coming out, whether he realized it or not. “For the record, I wasn’t trying to wait until after I—we—you know. Slept together? I was just nervous to tell you. I really, really am sorry.”

          “Could you quit?” I cocked an eyebrow. “The job, I mean.”

          “I mean—I could, in theory, but that would, um…” He trailed off, trying very hard to come up with an answer. Finally, I took pity on him.

          “It’s okay, Greg,” I sighed, locking eyes with him. “I wouldn’t expect you to quit your job, where you’re making God-knows how much money, for someone you’ve been on two dates with. I know that wouldn’t be fair of me.”

          “Okay, thank you, that’s cool, because I really…I don’t have a lot of, like, life skills, you know? And if I quit, I don’t know if—I mean, they might be so pissed about it, they might not give me a recommendation so I could get a new job, or anything.”

          “I know. I’m not totally unreasonable, you know.” I cupped my hands around my mug. It was warmer inside the café than out, but I still felt cold. “You have to do what you have to do, I get it. As long as this isn’t, like, your dream job, and you love working there, or anything.”

          “No, it’s nothing like that, not at all.” He shook his head vehemently. “I even asked if I could get switched out of ATN to one of the other divisions, but my boss got, like, really mad about it, and I had to stay.”

          “God, that sucks.” I blew out a puff of air. “So, what’s it like being Satan’s nephew?”

          “Well, to be fair, I didn’t really know him until pretty recently, so…it’s not like we’re close, or anything.” He played with the handle of his mug, and I noticed he’d barely drank any of his coffee.

          “This is so wild. I can’t believe it.” I shook my head at him, but let my lips form into a smile. I felt I’d probably given him a hard enough time.

          “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy,” He laughed, like he couldn’t believe it either.

          “Well,” I checked my phone. “I need to head back to campus, my break’s almost over.”

          “Oh, for sure.” We both stood and bundled back up, then headed out into the cold once more.

          “Thanks for coming to meet me. I know it was a bit of a drive for you, just to come get yelled at.” I bumped my shoulder into his—well, it was closer to his elbow, truthfully—as we walked down the salted sidewalk.

          “Hey, no worries. I should’ve told you sooner, I just…” He cleared his throat. “I like you, I guess? I mean, not I guess, I know, but I just…”

          “Do you want to come over to my place sometime this weekend?” I asked, once it was clear he was having trouble getting his words out.  

          “Really?” He raised his eyebrows, stopping for a second to look down at me.

          “Yeah. I could make us dinner, we could watch a movie, you know.” I shrugged. “If you want.”

          “That—that would be really cool. Yeah, I’d be, um, very down.” He said, a smile spreading across his face.

          “Cool. Text and let me know which day works better for you.” I stood up on my toes and gave him a quick peck, pulling back to look at him.

          “I will…I will do that.” He gave me two thumbs up and I couldn’t help letting out a laugh.

          “Okay. See you, Greg.” I crunched over the sidewalk to my car, stopping to give him a wave before sliding behind the wheel. Well, fuck. It looked like I’d be hitting the grocery store after work and coming up with a good recipe to make, all for some ATN asshole—though, to be honest, he wasn’t really an asshole. As much as I wanted to stick to my principles, I couldn’t help myself. I liked him, and I wanted to see more of him.

[seaswalllow]

So we have an update on DnD shenanigans. It's gotten long, so I'm putting it under a cut HAHAHA

Firstly, our entirely rizzless party (I'll do an intro at another point because our party is the FUNNIEST composition) is now named the Rizz.

Secondly. We had our first level three fight last session; five hobgoblins, nothing too nasty. Our druid softened them up with a brutal Thunderwave, and my barb ripped them to shreds after.

However.

Our sorcerer, upon seeing that half of the party's attacks were missing due to a disgustingly high AC (who needs 18 AC?!) took it upon himself to thin the herd... creatively. Now, for reference. Reynyx is. He's special. This is a man who introduced himself to our party by shape-changing into a six foot tall rat with tits (...if you know Biggie Cheese...) and sitting at our barb and artificer's bedside, waiting for them to awake because why not. That kind of special.

Um. Reynyx, our beloved, upon seeing that AC was disgustingly hard to reach, his player decided to pose the question of seduction to our DM, and was told to roll for it.

That was, I think, our first NAT20 of the night.

Our DM, already exhausted, tells him to roll for performance once she can be heard above the crowd who is all, understandably, losing their shit.

Friends, the call was unintelligible with the unnatural 20 that was just rolled.

So: off they go to the bushes, the hobgoblins number four and not five, and Reynyx takes 2 piercing damage for failing his CON save. Apparently even a hobgoblin was too raunchy for him. Fight wraps up. Our artificer, the world's most repressed man known to history, approaches to shake the newly star-crossed lovers out of their honeymoon.

"Hey, DM," says Reynyx's player. "Can I roll to convince [artificer] to join?"

"....If his player agrees," says the DM, who sounds not unlike she has watched the last hope for our party's sanity wisp off into the ether.

"Sure," says the artificer's player. "Let me set the DC to something unreasonable, like 18."

"18," says the dice roller we use for our campaign.

He essentially got stage-hooked into the bushes, while the rest of us .... rested .... and tried not to think too hard about the damn threesome happening not thirty feet away from the rest of us.

[dollsonmain]

I'm going to start staying in bed in the mornings so That Guy can't use morning time as Captive Audience Lecture time.

That's why I don't eat with him anymore, and why I don't talk to him at all in the car.

It's different than "There is a problem and we need to discuss it." because I'm not allowed to speak and any point I manage to interject with is disregarded or talked over.

A cut, though, because this is going on main instead of my whining side blog because it's about me, and it'll be long.

Last night I was thinking about how useless I am. I'm saying it that way just to get the point across as quickly as possible, I'm not being self-deprecating.

To elaborate, I was thinking about the jobs I've done in the past and my ability to function in general. Life in general seems unreasonably too hard.

-

My first job was bussing tables and that was fine but I got fired because my manager played favorites and scolded me for crying because my bandaged wrist hurt, which made me cry harder while bussing tables.

-

Then I was in the military and I was very bad at it. Physically, for now-obvious reasons, and mentally. I could never memorize the ranks, for example, or the weird little rules like "If you're the first to see Smadge in the morning, you call at ease as loud as you can to welcome him to the office" or the "Address superiors by their rank, don't talk to them like companions" and that kind of thing.

I did fine doing the mail.

I struggled in the office where I was the personnel database manager. There wasn't enough work to do and I could never make myself look busy. When I first took over the database I rewrote it all so that it was accessible to each of the companies in my unit to add and adjust things and then I wasn't needed anymore. I was there for two years with nothing to do.

At one point I started leaving to do the mail as early as possible with the excuse that I was taking other unit's mail clerks with me (true), and then after mail time was over, I'd just leave and go back to my room.

No one really noticed or cared because I wasn't providing anything to the office anyway.

My First Sargent griped about it one time, but I kept leaving anyway and no one bothered me about it.

-

Then I worked at Walmart behind the jewelry counter and that was fine. I liked it enough. Being a smaller department there never was anything like having to pull palettes around and the stuff on the shelves didn't change too much. There was a lot of time standing behind the counter doing nothing.

-

Then Wegman's selling cheese and that was fine, too. I got up, put on my uniform, went to work, did what I was told, and went home. Annetta made the mistake of asking me to redesign the cheese display once and I was like "Um.... I can't.... do that, sorry." After I left (I was impregnated by That Guy when he ejaculated inside me without permission, then he moved me away from my job or I'd probably still be there), she said she'd asked some of the younger boys in the department to take over and they were doing very well with it.

My managers at Wegman's gave me a lot of opportunities for advancement and to learn new skills and I had to decline because my brain couldn't do anything more than the lowest base-line work in the department. I mean, I tried. I did what was asked, and then I wasn't asked to do those things again.

-

Since then it's been house-mom.

I'm very bad at that.

I don't clean enough, I don't cook at all, I don't do That Guy's laundry so he can't blame me when something goes wrong with it (he blames me anyway because if HE ruins his laundry it's because I refused to do it), I'm not super involved with my Son.

If I'm not specifically told "Do this." I don't think to do it. It's not by choice. I can't.

Son struggles with hygiene. I've mentioned that before. I've come here and asked for help. I've asked the IEP team at school for help.

Lately, Son stinks.

This morning That Guy had me captive audience for a lecture and said that he got a lot of answers out of Son about his hygiene last night which he waited to even ask until I'd gone to bed because he knows that if he starts being an un-constructive asshole about it I'll put a stop to it.

He said Son isn't changing his underwear and was like "I KNOW I've talked to him about this AND YOU..... You have to constantly be on him about it."

When I tried to say "I don't even think about his underwear because I never see them. He comes downstairs dressed every morning." he said "You have to struggle against that compulsion."

How, after 20 years, does he still not understand that my entire day every day is struggling against that kind of thing and always has been?

There are times I want to take the whole world, hold their faces between my hands, put my face right up in theirs and say

"You don't understand.

It's not that I don't want to.

I would give almost anything to function. I don't like to be like this. I don't like to be trapped here needing someone else to keep me alive.

I.

Can't."

That Guy still doesn't understand that I can't. He thinks I choose not to. He thinks I don't care enough.

I never could think of like, that extra little something that would make something better or whatever it is that makes some people really good at aesthetics, or anything outside of what I've been told to do.

When I say "I don't exist" I can't put into words what I really mean.

I am nothing more than a worker ant.

I really do often think I should have been let to die in infancy when I couldn't keep milk down. That should have been in indicator that I wasn't fit for survival. I've been consistently miserable my whole life because of this.

[makibeni]

Ch. 38- A Gift Left to Repay

Kobeni took short, shallow breaths, unable to exhale before her panic addled mind demanded another gasp of air. She stared at the number in front of her in disbelief, blanketing her mind with a listless expression as the anxiety squeezed in around her. Her first cogent thoughts were that this was somehow something she'd done, inadvertently or no, that she would get in trouble for. A thought she tried as hard as possible to scrub out and replace with whatever else she could cram into her head so as not to think about it. A part of her wanted to just take it, indulge in the boon she'd been granted, but she'd been burned too many times before by seeming strokes of luck, she was scarred and weary. She slowly pulled her phone from her pocket and with a shaky finger sought out the only person who came to mind when she needed sanctuary.

"Kobeni?"

Makima's voice provided her with less than adequate comfort. No matter how unreasonable a request part of her wanted Makima to simply know what was wrong and have a solution ready so she wouldn't have to think up words her mouth was unable to speak.

"I-I u~um..."

Her words were slow, more a frantic drawl, drawn out to fill space, still hoping Makima would somehow save her on her own.

"What's wrong?"

There was a change in Makima's tone, a break in her composure, a subtle hint of panic Kobeni could pick out.

"I... M... um..."

Instead of finding salvation all she'd done is bring strife to Makima's doorstep. She needed to try and diffuse the conversation but her focus was still torn, enough that the words just wouldn't come to her.

"Kobeni where are you, do you need me to come get you?"

Makima's composure was back, the anxiety paved over by determination, she knew this voice well, the confident assertiveness was comforting, enough to help her stabilize, but she still needed to return the reassurance.

"N-no! It... I..."

A quick yelp, enough to get Makima not to hang up the line and come looking for her, she bought herself time and used it to push down the lump in her throat.

"C... Could you... stay with me... for a while?"

In part it was all she could think of to justify Makima staying put for longer, but she did find her presence calming, even if it was just over the phone.

"Of course."

Her words came through like a gentle warm breeze, an outstretched hand willing to hold her while Kobeni's heart steadied and she found her footing again as Makima had done for her so many times before. It may not have been much, but for Kobeni, it was enough.

"S-so um... h-hypothetically..."

Finally she was able to string her words together, however slowly or awkwardly, progress was made.

"I-if s... if someone um... f-found out they had... m-more money than they were s-s-suppose to... um... c-could they get in... trouble with the law?"

There was a pause, long enough to stoke the embers of angst in her again, only saved by the calm Makima had bought for her.

"Kobeni... what do you usually spend your paycheck on every month?"

She felt odd about answering, maybe it was the way the question was phrased but she felt ill at ease revealing herself like that, even if it was to Makima

"W-well..."

She thought about it earnestly, if there was something she'd rather hide she wasn't pressed to reveal it yet, and she was okay answering with some vagueness.

"F-food... rent... s-sometimes um... personal s-stuff... a-and the rest I send to my..."

A wash of unpleasant memories she'd kept buried for a while began creeping up, overshadowed by her realization.

"Figure everything out?"

Makima's tone was calm again, accented with levity to help nudge Kobeni's focus towards her newfound financial freedom instead of poking at scabs.

"Y-yes! Thank you... s-sorry for calling over nothing"

There was a flutter in her voice, a bubbly glee tempered by a tinge of embarrassment after realizing she'd worried over nothing.

"Don't be sorry, I never mind hearing your voice"

Though she couldn't see the woman's face she could feel the

"O-okay... b-bye!"

She ended the call before quickly sending a frantic series of texts clarifying that she also enjoyed hearing the sound of her girlfriend's voice and profusely apologizing for not stating so earlier.

"So... this is what it feels like..."

She breathed a sigh of relief, this wasn't some stroke of luck after all, it was something much better, a gift from Makima.

"This is what what feels like?"

A regrettably familiar voice came to interrupt her daydreaming.

"Oh um... h-hi..."

Angel devil flapped his wings nonchalantly while rotating a lollipop in his mouth. He didn't look like he was here to use the ATM, Kobeni wasn't even sure if devils had bank accounts, he simply stood... at her, in the way he so often seemed to, unwilling to state his intent and content to wait for someone to figure it out for him. She'd danced this dance before enough to know the fastest way out of this was to just play along.

"D-did you... n-need s... something?"

He nodded and pulled the lollipop from his mouth, scraping the big of flavor still stuck to the inside of his cheek.

"Thanks."

With that, he popped it back in and returned focus to his treat.

"For... what?"

Kobeni's inquiry was met with a moment of contemplation followed with a shrug. It was unclear to her if he'd thought about it and deemed not to answer for whatever reason or genuinely forgot what his reasoning was. She waited in awkward silence for a little longer before he turned his eyes to her expectantly. The question he'd asked earlier was still unanswered, and while he wasn't one to go to great lengths to sate his curiosity, for now all it demanded of him was to stand still and stare at her until she relented, a task he was very much equipped for. Kobeni wracked her brain, trying to remember what she was doing before Angel had appeared. She was always on the look out for social cues, subtle changes in facial expression hiding unspoken meaning, pieces of a puzzle in need of solving to keep conversations manageable for her, something that caused her no small bit of frustration whenever she had to converse with him. He wasn't outwardly threatening, and he never had the air of expectations around him, she could likely stay silent for an entire conversation and it wouldn't impact their relationship in any way, but it did little to ease the tension that came from rapid incongruent responses to her words and actions. She looked back at the ATM, able to recompose herself enough to give him a reply.

"I... guess I have more money on hand than I thought I did..."

She looked content, filled with an unfocused sense of happiness. She knew this was a good thing, though not strictly why it was a good thing.

"What are you gonna do with it?"

It hadn't occurred to her to actually ponder the question until he asked. The prospect of having financial freedom was still relatively new to her, the most she'd ever had before this was a small handful of yen she'd use to indulge on occasion, the odd manga or DVD rental over a weekend she'd save up for.

"W-what do you think I should do with it?"

He replied with an instinctive shrug, not wanting to waste the effort on contemplating and answering most people's questions had drilled into him this stock reply. It often preceded any actual thought on his part as it was spurned on by the mere intonation of a question being asked of him. Kobeni wasn't expecting enough from him to feel dejected by his non-answer. The short list of people she could realistically ask for advice on this was short indeed. There was of course Makima, though she would need to wait for an appropriate amount of time to pass before contacting her again, their conversation having just ended a few minutes ago, it was important to leave enough space for a reason she couldn't clarify however felt very strongly about. Kobeni drifted off for a moment thinking of her, her face slowly shifting in ways imperceptible to herself, finally arousing a response from Angel who had yet to move from his spot.

"You could get something for her"

She snapped back and turned to him, exhaling a noise before realizing his words, then turning to the ground with a smile.

"Yeah... I think I will... Thanks Angel"

[girlhorse]

in college when i had my first major ocd breakdown and had to go on meds i thought i had really bad GAD lol. that was my only diagnosis. but um i now recognize that it was absolutely full blown ocd lol

tw below for some OCD stuff i feel like sharing for some reason. may delete later bc i am going to get very ~vulnerable~

i was really scared to explain my thoughts to anyone bc 1) i knew logically they were bizarre and that embarrassed me and 2) i was scared talking about my intrusive thoughts would make them come true

basically i was obsessed with thoughts that my now ex was going to be in harms way or die, especially when it had been like. idk. more than 20 minutes from texting me

my intrusive thoughts were so strange..i would come up with really whacky ways that they could be fatally injured. like slipping in the shower or choking to death.

I knew these were unreasonable and weird and I did my absolute best to not pester my ex or make it weird. I didnt want to pressure her to do anything because of my out of control anxiety but it was getting super out of hand

I was getting so sick that I was having panic attacks if i hadnt heard from them in a couple hours, i threw up a few meals because of it

eventually i just stopped sleeping. Every time I started to fall asleep, my body jolted me awake. I had very little appetite and was holding back gags while eating.

The things I didn't really consider to be compulsions are pretty obvious to me now. on top of like intense magical thinking (believing my unusual thoughts were either going to cause something bad or that I had some sort of clairvoyance) i had begun publicly checking my pulse any time i was anxious. I thought i was being discreet but honestly my friends noticed it and asked me wtf i was doing ☠️ i was putting my two fingers on my jugular vein to see if i was panicking or anxious.

i also had a problem with compulsively reading the news in their area if i thought they had been hurt. in the attempt to get ahead of it. I was checking traffic data and friends blogs. It was honest to God a bit stalkerish and i knew that but i was terrified

I did tell them about it eventually and they were very gracious about it.

but this went on for a long time, probably months. Somehow i still coped with college classes and didn't fail anything but i was in a pass/fail school so no pressure to do substantially well

eventually i finally got my as to the doctor bc the therapy i was doing did Not work (it ws self guided CBT. I do not think the campus therapsit was equipped to handle the Brains issue i had)

i got put on a low dose of prozac, but when that didnt work (literally threw up a pill due to anxiety lmao) my doc increased the dose significantly and that helped quite a bit.

Anyway i stopped having so bad of OCD that i couldnt function, but of course i still have my moments

it took me like a couple weeks to figure out my fear was largely surrounding uncertainty and the inability to control things.

i think to be honest it is still present. and it seems to be triggered by major life events. Enzo is my new Subject but I'm better able to cope. It was hard when he was little leaving home, i was always scared I'd come back to a d*** puppy bc of something I did wrong. But! hes fine, we're fine. Him getting sick has been hard to deal with Because of this but im dealing. Im doing my best to just accept my obsrssions instead of fighting them or letting them spiral out of control

IDK what the point od this post is i just feel like i have to get it off my chest and i dont have a therapy appointment this week ❤️❤️❤️ my public tumblr is my diary:)

[goodgriefwhatanerd]

1 - Sweater Weather

Pious Augustus wrapped another blanket around himself and shivered. He cursed the god who had taken his life, the Black Guardian who kept him tied to this monastery, and the disgustingly cold northern weather. More than anything else, he hated the Christian obsession with suffering for piety.

There was a knock on the door. Pious groaned and raised his guise. The grey skinned mummified liche shifted into the visage of an elderly but very much living man in a monk’s habit.

“Enter,” he called.

“Ah, Brother Rowan.” He tried to smile, managing to feel even more miserable than before. The man was half blind and unreasonably friendly, but one day he was still going to see something that would necessitate killing him. That in itself wasn’t a problem. What was a problem was that Pious dearly and desperately wanted his cheerful spark to remain in Oubliee Cathedral.

The young monk sidled in, a woollen bundle tucked under his arm. He blinked in the candlelight and squinted for a moment before closing the door. “Gosh you must be freezing. I mean, um, your Excellency, I mean no disrespect.”

Pious waved him away. “None taken. Continue, Brother.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve been worrying about you for a while now. Every little cold snap and you start shivering. And I’ve noticed… well, anyway, I thought you would appreciate another layer.”

He held out the bundle which turned out to be a slightly erratically knitted long undershirt in thick wool that would not only keep out draughts but very likely a moderate knife attack.

“Thank you.” Pious held the garment close against him, far less interested in appearing professional than feeling warm.

“Please look after yourself,” Rowan said quietly, before walking into the doorcase on the way out.

Pious watched him go with what he very much feared was fondness.

*

Over the next few week the weather turned colder and a pair of mittens turned up on his bed. It was only when Brother Rowan asked about his shoe size that Pious started to feel uncomfortable.

“Do I truly appear so frail?” he asked jokingly, but truth be told he was starting to worry that his disguise didn’t make him appear alive enough.

“No, nothing like that, I- Can I talk to you in confidence. Not in confession, but for your wisdom and maybe to ease my mind.”

He had seen the walking dead or the eldritch guardians then, surely, and this would be the last talk of his life. Heart heavy, Pious led the monk into his cell and sat down opposite him.

Rowan played with the hem if his sleeve a little before he began “Excellency-”

“In the circumstances, I think you can call me Phillipe.”

“Phillipe,” Rowan echoed, and Pious wished he could ask for his real name to be spoken with such softness. “I am not pious enough to receive visions from the Almighty, and I can’t imagine what the devil would gain from such deception, but I don’t know what else this can be. For months now my eyes have been failing me more and more, making your hands seem thin and skeletal, your face a sunken eyed skull. At first I dismissed it as a trick of the light on my weak eyes, but now- now I struggle to see you as a living man. It makes me fear you may not be long for this world.”

There was no way that this could end well, and yet Pious couldn’t bring himself to end it at the point of a knife. Instead he took Rowan’s hands in his and let the useless disguise fall.

The silence stretched out for far too many beats of the monk’s heart before he broke it. “Does… does this mean that I can stop worrying about you?”

Pious let out a noise that was half a laugh and half a sob of relief. “Yes, I suppose so.”

Now that they were touching, he had no desire to pull his hands away, and not just because Rowan had started rubbing some warmth into them. To hell with the plan and the Guardian’s hunger, Pious was going to keep this one.

[quetzalpapalotl]

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍💖💔 for tcgf HIT ME WITH THE OPINIONS

Hiiiii!! Thank you for the enthusiasm!! Sorry this took me so long I got distracted by vidya games. Anyway, under the cut because it's a lot

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

Mmm... I'm gonna say Hua Cheng because it was quite a shock to see how he's written in fic right off reading the novel because it's like where are all these speech patterns coming from?? This lowly one?? Why is Hua Cheng insulting himself every other sentence??

It's actually pretty normal in for fandom to emphasize a character's insecurities, or that's my experience at least. Makes sense, makes them more relatable. But from my perspective while Hua Cheng has insecurities, he also genuinely believes that he's better than everyone else (minus XL ofc) and has a well-founded confidence in his abilities. He sets himself to unreasonable high standars and critizices himself when he can't reach them, but most of the time he is reaching them.

The moments we get to glimpse at Hua Cheng's insecurities is because something made him show that side of himself or is infered from context clues. He doesn't like to show any vulnerability and he wouldn't be on a 24/7 spiel of how much he sucks. He certainly wouldn't be burdening Xie Lian with his own self-hatred. And he would not let anything he feels get in the way of helping Xie Lian and make him happy.

Because of this people also downplay how assertive he is in his relationship with Xie Lian. Fear of rejection and coming is and important factor in why he wasn't fully honest from the get-go, yes, but also Xie Lian himself told him his beloved may feel guilty if they knew they were the reason Hua Cheng couldn't move on. That's a very important factor. He starts testing the waters and he gets bolder and bolder as Xie Lian keeps being receptive and giving him leeway. To the point that the epilogue calls him spoiled and has him demanding Xie Lian's attentions.

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

Oh boy, inasmuch as you can call this a "theory" I strongly disagree with the idea that the temple scene is an allegory for sexual assault and it kinda bothers me that the anglo fandom treats it as a given. I was pleasantly validated recently when I was told the Chinese fandom doesn't see it that way. And look, I do get sick pleasure from that scene because of sadism, but I know that's me, that's something I'm projecting onto it. Simply put, the temple scene doesn't need to represent sexual assault. What happened to Xie Lian is not any better, honestly, I'd say it's worse.

The situation shares a lot of the things that makes rape a horrible experience, the vulnerability, the violation of one's body, but rape is first and foremost about power. The people that stabbed Xie Lian weren't happy with the idea, but they did it for their own survival (also there was a toddler involved so, um, please don't). I'll grant you that it is one of many instances of BWX/JW establishing control over Xie Lian's body but even he did this with the very specific purpose of challenging Xie Lian's ideal of helping the common people. It was a taunt. Didn't you want to save them? Even if it means they'll hurt you?

What broke Xie Lian was all these people turning against him, that he couldn't bring himself to allow it, that maybe they were never worth saving in the first place. Which is why is significative that he willingly offers to repeat that experience later (as well as people refusing to hurt him then). It bothers me seeing it only discussed in terms of sexual assault like that's the intention because I think it adds a dimension that isn't there and distracts from the actual dynamic at play.

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

I consider the popular ships to be hualian, beefleaf, fengqing, and quanyin and I like all of those. I don't have a problem with none of the others ships I've seen and the ones I'm not into are not prominent enough to have any feeling on the matter.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Well, that entirely depends on which side of the fandom you are I guess, but since I already started thinking about how people regard Xie Lian's sexuality...

People tend to treat Xie Lian like he has some weird Catholic guilt regarding carnal desire and that's not really it. Xie Lian lives in a culture that values men's sexual prowess, just look at Pei Ming, look at how Xie Lian utilizes this with his "I can't get it up" bc no man would lie about that. Xie Lian's chastity is something he chosee for himself, in fact, he actively went against was expected of him by choosing his cultivation over marrying and fathering children, somthing which is even more explicit in the revised version.

During the Land of the Tender encounter, Xie Lian's biggest concern isn't about some abstract value of purity, but the very practical issue that if he breaks his cultivation he can't afford to build it up again in the middle of a war, he needs his power now. And if his followers finding out would only mean losing more power.

Even Mei Nianqing, the person who taught Xie Lian this was of life, isn't scandalized by Xie Lian adquiring a lover and tells him what matters is that he's happy, he's just displeased over it being ghost king and accuses him of taking advantage of Xie Lian's lack of experience.

Xie Lian is shy and nervous because he has no experience (and this is mostly in the face of Hua Cheng because he has never been into a person like this before), and it wouldn't be unreasonable if he had some form of trauma of the Land of the Tender (in that his biggest association with experiencing arousal is vulnerability), but he doesn't have some internalized purity culture, he would have read Pei Ming's salacious tales if he wasn't keeping his cultivation, breaking his vow of chastity is the least of his worries regarding his attraction to Hua Cheng and when it comes to it, it's not a big deal for him to break it. Again, the chastity was his choice and now he simply choose something else.

With how much of the book is people not respecting Xie Lian's choices, it's a bit annoying ngl. Sometimes people just choose not to have sex for their own reasons, it doesn't mean they have psychosexual issues.

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

This is more in-universe, but like how does Pei Ming get laid so much? Look, I becamed endeared to his character and he may be handsome, but if I ever heard him speak the only pounding I would desire is one that leads to him bleeding in the ground.

💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

I have to mention Kemo here not because of me per se, but because when I made a friend watch this he thought he was hot and the only character that's his type. It was his reward. To bad for all the racism.

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

Mu Qing... like, come on, he had all the reasons to feel insecure with how everyone treated him and Feng Xin constantly trash talking him, he had to be very careful in how he navigated the world, and Xie Lian was the most considerate of his circumstances, but even he didn't fully get it.

He had all the right to leave when he did. And yeah what he did with the 33 officials there wasn't nice, but he was in a precarious situation and he did try to make amends and help later (against the rules), but you know, he sucks at feelings. Xie Lian and co. did end up eating the rice Mu Qing brought.

Some people talk like Mu Qing is The Devil, but really he's just kind of a cunt, but like Xie Lian said, he would never poison someone's drink. Even amongst all the corruption in heaven, he's one of the few officials with nothing to hide?? (besides feelings)

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

Mu Qing, again. Idk what's about this character that makes everyone lose their minds, some people can't take if you say anything mildly bad about him. But he is a cunt. And like, I don't know why people hail him as this sort of working class hero, because like yeah, he had it bad and he's more class conscious than Feng Xin. But you know, he stil threw a fit at a poor, beaten up kid because he has to be lying about having no home because otherwise Mu Wing would know him personally so obviously, this kid is evil, I can't imagine why I kid would not want to go back home. There's the very real possibility that he threw HC out of the army out of jealousy and you know, he was all for unleashing the human face disease on Yong'an civilians, and these were all people who had it worse than him as an attendand to the prince and then a deputy god

Ultimately, Mu Qing's goal is to climb in the system, and he succeds and he has been a god for the past 800 years. In contrast to Hua Cheng who activelly rejected ascencion and works outside the system to help those Heaven overlooks in his own way (tho HC himself is a king of his own) and Xie Lian who has been living in porverty and has lost all shame regarding that and does thing any god but Yushi Huang would consider beneath them, like helping his followers farm. Mu Qing feels a lot of shame regarding his origins and tries to distance himself from it as much as he can, again, this is understandable given his context and by the end of the book he has grown enough that he doesn't get upset if you hand him a broom.

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

About the series? Idk exactly, but it seems to be an unpopular opinion in this fandom that word of god is not canon, only the text is canon.

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

Lang Ying and he did get removed in the revised version LMAO Nothing against him, but his character doesn't really amount to anything for the narrative when it's all said and done. Uh, as for the revised version, so many characters already got removed I don't think I could substract anyone without causing major damage to the story.

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

Junlian, to absolutely no one's surprise, I do ship Orion with Zeta, as I was told.

[talesfromtrigadora]

Honors at Gallison College: Lesson 2 - Harrisferd

How Jane managed to get me into Harrisferd’s class starting Monday morning, I would never learn. I did learn that Jane was right: I wasn’t ready for Harrisferd, but here I was and there was no backing out now.

It didn’t help that I was behind by half a semester. It didn’t help that I didn’t even have the syllabus, and I knew better than to ask for one this late into the class. It also didn’t help that unbeknownst to me Lyle Duncan was the TA.

Lyle Duncan was one of those students who had become unreasonably obsessed with me from the moment of meeting me. Lyle was about as cis-gendered as they come, and in a field of study where this had become rare, he chose to flout it for reasons no one could understand. Why Harrisferd had made him their TA was beyond anything I could comprehend, and yet I spent far too much of that first class trying to puzzle it out.

The first class I attended was, conveniently, introducing a new topic and something I drastically needed help with: reading body language.

“While it is obviously the expectation of any of my students to acquire verbal consent,” Harrisferd looked down their sharp nose at a few particular students who all blushed appropriately, “being able to read the body language of your intended object of pursuit helps you determine whether it is worth pursuing anything that would require verbal consent. What would be the second stage of this dance, Mx. Bordeaux?”

It took me too long to realize I was being addressed — professors rarely referred to me by my father’s name — and before I could respond, another student had raised their hand and answered: “Conversation, Professor.”

“Indeed, Mx. Neilsen. I do not believe your name is Bordeaux, unless you have taken on a pursuit I did not sanction and made more progress on it than possible without my knowledge.”

“Not at all, Professor. My apologies.”

“Hm.” The professor gave Neilsen a long look, green eyes snapping with a fire that made the entire class hold their breath. “Mx. Bordeaux, do you know why conversation is important to this dance I am attempting to teach you all?”

“To establish mutual interests, both of a physical, business, and familial nature, Professor.”

“Both implies two, Bordeaux, you listed three. In addition, there are in fact four. Do you know what the fourth would be?”

“Um.” I should know this and that I didn’t immediately told me whatever I forgot was probably my problem when it came to this subject.

“Emotional interest, Bordeaux, though I can understand why someone like you may not consider that as important. Moving on…”

The rest of the class went about the same, with the Professor taking a devote interest in making it clear how little I knew about this particular subject. Anyone else would’ve fled in embarrassment. Luckily for me, my mother had spent most of my life embarrassing me far more successfully than showing off how little I knew about a subject I was already very aware I knew too little about. If this was what Jane was worried about, maybe I could let go of my strategizing how to save myself from failure after all.