#um I won’t put this in the stormlight tag

[swagspren]

I think when Kaladin lashed himself face first into that wall he should’ve been flattened like flat Stanley and spent the rest of the series 2-dimensional. Just my opinion

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 5)

whhooooooo there’s still so much left, but I’ve come so far?? I’M !! THERE IS SO! MUCH! HAPPENING! IN ! THIS! BOOK!

Part 5 encompasses pages 326-394 (previous parts)

INTERLUDES 1

fucking. Venli? really? I don’t want to be in her head. I don’t want to know.

anyway! NEW PEOPLE FIRST:

“Puuli the lighthouse keeper” I LOVE THEM ALREADY

“Kelek himself had broken apart the land in the middle of a storm” I...Kelek? really? are you sure? Aren’t most of the Heralds busy being...not here?

Listen, Alyx told me that we’d seen all ten Heralds somewhere over the course of the series so far, and armed with this knowledge I have squinted at every single new character like “are YOU a crazy person who is sort of a god? are YOU a crazy person who is sort of a god?”

I’m pretty sure none of them have been crazy people who are sort of gods.

But I’m keeping my eyes peeled anyway.

I RELATE TO THIS ARDENT LADY BECAUSE I, TOO, WOULD LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE IN PEACE AND QUIET AND VERY VERY LONELY SOLITUDE TO READ MY SMUT FIC.

“What was that you’re studying?” “Important works.” Obviously. Trashy romance novels are the HEIGHT of important works.

ROSHARN LINGUISTICS IS REALLY COOL.

it’s a trashy romance novel; of COURSE there’s a sequel.

tbqh, Venli, I’m not sure what you expected. “You should be taking orders from me.” Uh huh. Sure. You summoned a hatesprean that your people literally went dullform to escape, and you didn’t think you were going to be ordered around by it?

YOU KNEW YOUR GODS WERE EVIL WHY DID YOU THINK THAT SUMMONING THEM WOULD SAVE YOUR PEOPLE

nooooo

Eshonai please. don’t be dead. you’re the best of them, just...don’t

aaahhh

wow, that’s. a lot of information okay. um. Spren of redemption? yeah, I’ll believe that when never. The parshendi ANCESTORS? are in charge?? in charge of what? the spren? the voidbringers? the changes? the storm?

also Venli is KIND OF AN ASSHOLE and I mean, we knew this already but this kind of power-hungry selfishness is. really unfortunate in a person.

ooh. different spren? save Esh please? maybe? I LIVE IN HOPE.

PART TWO

what

BRIDGE FOUR gets a pov?!!!!!!??! MY BOYS!!!??!?!?!? AAHH

BHAHAHAHA I ALWAYS FORGET HOID’S REAL NAME IS A STUPIDLY RIDICULOUS STAR WARS NAME I Love it

how come we don’t get Navani’s reaction to her daughter just magically appearing back from the dead

I want the Navani-Jasnah reuinion scene. I’ve been robbed of good mother-daughter content.

“Storms. She was perfect.” Every. time. I love it. I love how super bi Shallan is and how desperately in love she is with two very different Kholins. What a good.

god bless Jasnah “Every Moment is a Teaching Moment if You Try Hard Enough” Kholin

you know, I’m also been robbed of Jasnah and Hoid’s Road Trip Adventure. I’m sad.

omg it’s so weird for Jasnah to be the one who’s a step behind.

AAHH JOINT VISION TIME YO this’ll be fun

oooohh the Stormfather does care. he has an imagination and everything.

bahahaaha Dalinar. How many times has he witnessed all these visions and he’s still a doofus when it comes to fitting into them.

OOOHH SUMMONING ARMOR THAT’S COOL!! Can they do that nowadays?? 

“they moved on all sixes” like yeeeeppp right, most stuff on roshar has six legs but that’s a wild variation on all-fours and suuuper jarring for a sec

hi, yeah, I love Fen a lot. petition to keep her.

also her assuming that Dalinar was working with the Voidbringers: not unreasonable considering the last few months of him possibly going crazy or not. like...she’s got reasons to be suspicious.

OMG THE ART FOR THE HEADER FOR BRIDGE FOUR AAAAAHHHHHH

SIGZIIIIILLLLL omg. Having panic dreams about messing up tests. I love him???

he’s SO OFFENDED THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO QUEUE I LOVE IT

hold on I’m changing my queue tag to “I’m Azish, I know how to queue”

BLESS. AFRO!SIGZIL

LOPEN EATING BREAKFAST ON THE CEILING WHAT A NERD

I HAVE MISSED THESE ROWDY BOYS

“Where was Teft? They actually listened when he gave orders.” MY BOYS ARE DUMB NERDS AND I LOVE THEM

what’s the “other thing”? Where does Teft disappear to? what is happen. why does Kaladin not know about it, but Sig does?

dear. god. I’m.

of course he does morning push ups. without his jacket on.

I’m

hhhnnnnngggggggggg

#priorities

I LOVE MY DUMB BOYS

LOOK AT THEM ALL GETTING MARRIED AND COURTING AND GETTING LUNCHES DROPPED OFF BY THEIR WIVES AND LOOK AT THEM BEING REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL LIVES AND I’M SO PROUD OF THEM THEY’VE COME SO FAR I LOVE THEM

also I adore that the only "problem” about Drehey being gay is that Sig thinks he’s gotta fill out forms, and that the indication is that in Azir, the forms go both ways. That’s. so refreshing and lovely and. Good job, Brandon! I’m so. this is A Good.

“Master Hoid” is a fucking hilarious juxtaposition of terms.

Kaladin’s desperate insistence that they won’t lose any more people is endearing and also terrifying because you just know someone is going to die and he’s going to be so upset and I’m going to have to drive back to Utah to yell at Brandon personally for making my boy suffer.

Can Lyn join Bridge Four? If we’re recruiting, can we recruit her?

BLESS. TWO SENTENCES LATER “How would you like to join the Windrunners.” GOOD YES EXCELLENT

me, anytime they even mention Moash: *long keening noises of despair and pain* 

Kaladin didn’t teeeeellll theeeemmmmmm he didn’t tell them what Moash did he didn’t tell them Moash hecked up and betrayed them he didn’t want then to be mad or to hate Moash I’M UPSET NOISES FOREVER

ohhhh my god.

Kaladin. Please.

Using the royal treasury’s emerald grain reserve to practice Radianting is DELIGHTFUL and HILARIOUS and also TERRIFYING OMG I LOVE IT THAT’S PERFECT

God, I love these boys.

Evi calls Dalinar “beloved” and I’m emotional

He doesn’t deserve her.

oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

He didn’t kill the kid.

He didn’t--I... I doubted him. I thought--so caught up in the Thrill, I just ASSUMED, BUT here were the seeds. The idea that the Blackthorn wasn’t quite as horrible as he could have been. Which makes the changes later so much more plausible.

god, she’s so proud of him. I love her?

Gavilar can fuck right off, tbh, oh my god.

YAASSS, ROCK POV OMG

LUNAMOR

THAT’S SO PRETTY

“I want everyone on this plateau glowing like they swallowed a lantern.” that there’s a decent David Charleston metaphor.

WHERE! IS! TEFT! I’m so worried about him.

I love that they salute Dabbid.

I love them.

I love Bridge Four. I’m not sure if you guys know this about me.

LOPEN PLEASE. “Did you stick yourself to the ground?” “All part of the plan, gon.” IS IT THO, DARLING?

KALADIN TRYING TO TEACH HOBBER TO BREATHE IN STORMLIGHT SO HE CAN HEAL HIS LEGS IS SO GOOD KALADIN IS SO GOOD I’M

crying

“I now have to either promote him or push him off the side of the plateau.” “Promote him? to what?” “Airsick lowlander. Second class.”

HELLO, FRONDS, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU ARE AWARE, BUT I! LOVE! BRIDGE! FOUR! SO! MUCH!

I...they saved the bridge.

I love that Rock bows to and respects even the spren he can’t see. Also I get the feeling that no one really ever sees Glys, except Renarin. Which makes...sense, in a weird way? I guess...’cause they are both so quiet and reserved. Or we assume Glys shares that with Renarin. It seems right though, if that’s true.

Also, Rock making work for Renarin, just so he can be included, which is all he wants is A Good. Rock is an extremely observant fellow, once he puts his mind to it, isn’t he?

Rock is really, really good at making people feel better. And he knows exactly what people need. Skar is a teacher, so he gives him the opportunity to teach. Renarin needs a confidence boost, so he tells him not to see himself as a flaw, but as a person. Rlain needs company, so he sends Renarin to him. He’s very good at manipulating people into making themselves feel better. It’s really delightful.

HOBBER!!!! HOBBER GOT IT!!! THEY’RE ALL JUST GIVING HIM THEIR GEMS THEY DON’T EVEN HESITATE THEY’rE JUST

I’M CRYING I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE ALL SO DAMN GOOD

you know what, fuck Sadeas.

OH MY GOSH

OOOOOHHH

ROCK’S FAMILY!!!!! IS HERE!!! THERE’S KIDDOS!!!!!! I’M!!!!! OH MY GOSH

HER NAME IS SONG AND THEY ARE CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS AND I’M CRYING AGAIN

they are SO GOOD. honoring their bridge for its last run. the last one. That’s...almost incomprehensible, but YEAH! They fly now! what do they need a bridge for! (a bridge four. hah) But the still...they honor it. It saved their lives. It was all they had. Of course it gets one last run.

aahh, I love Bridge Four so, so much.