#ultimately what she truly wants is to come back home from a difficult day and be greeted by someone who's happy to see her

[starfoam]

//It really is about loneliness on here, I'm beginning to realize.

[melanieph321]

Kenan Yildiz x Reader - Thick Part 3/8

+ 18

Part 1 Part 2

Kenan and Reader share the same high school friend group. As graduation is near, Reader sets out to pass her drivers license test but ultimately struggles to. Thankfully Readers friends agree to help her with driving lessons and take turns doing so. It is during one of Rader's lessons that it becomes clear that Kenan likes her. A chock to Reader, who has a crush on someone else in their friend group.

Enjoy!

"He called you what?"

"Fat. Or Not skinny, to be exact."

"Stronza." (Asshole).

You enjoyed driving with Rebecca. She wasn't as instructive or patient as Maria, and it was nearly impossible to communicate over the loud music playing in her car. But after your experience driving with Kenan, you could withstand a couple of false notes sung by her. 

"Do you want us to talk to him, maybe ask Gio to give him a slap upside the head?" She was also very sympathetic to the incident involving Kenan, naturally taking your side.

"Tempting." You chuckled. "But no, I'd rather let it go and ignore him for the rest of my life."

"That will be a hard thing to do."

"Trust me, I've managed to block out a couple of fat-shamers in my life, Kenan will be no different."

"Yes, but what about our road trip to Bari? I imagine it'll be difficult ignoring someone for ten hours straight while confined into a cramped car."

"Right." 

Just the thought of the road trip with your friends triggered an unpleasant feeling in your gut. It had more to do with the fact that you still didn't have a driver's license, and judging by the way things were going, you wouldn't possess one any time soon.

"How about we try the roundabout again? It should be more crowded at this hour."

"Yay."

Rebecca took you back to the roundabout that you and Kenan had tackled the week before. But unlike Kenan, she wasn't one to talk you through things, assuming that the actions needed were as obvious to you as they were to her. It resulted in you having some trouble finding the right gear for the approach into the right file, and unlike Kenan, Rebecca's hands weren't on the wheel, ready to spot you in case you'd need the assistance.

"Check your mirrors Y/N!" She shouted in panic.

The car swirled in the lane on your attempt to get it out of the roundabout. It swirled before coming to an abrupt stop. 

"My car!" Rebecca cried. 

Smoke rose from the hood of it. You had bumped it straight into the sidewalk. The car had to be towed and taken to the nearest mechanic shop right away.

"I promise to pay for all the damages." You assured.

"Of course you will. And I want compensation for the trauma that was inflicted on me. You're not a bad driver Y/N, you're a basket case."

"Ladies, ladies, please." Gio entered the small garage. He was wearing stained overalls, a plaquet with the name Joey on it. Joey, or Josef, was Gio's dad, owner of the shop. "There's nothing that yours truly can't fix. So please, no catfighting in my garage, as tempting as that would be to watch."

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Just fix my car Gio, or else we won't have a ride to Bari this summer."

"Judging by the way Y/N is driving we might not even make it to Bari with her behind the wheel."

"Hey?" You hissed.

"Kidding, just kidding." 

Gio approached the vehicle, taking a good look at it. It was clear that he was better with his hands than his brain. And he didn't seem to mind following in his father's footsteps, taking over the shop and running it one day. "Yeah, this is gonna take some time fix it and it's gonna cost you." He nodded. "It's gonna cost you plenty."

"Well, what are you waiting for, get started on it."

"Sorry Beck's, but I'm closing the shop at six."

"Six, why so early?"

"Didn't you hear, Luca and his band have a gig in town. All of us are invited, no?"

"Right, I totally forgot about that. Are you going Y/N, I'd rather just go home."

"Erm....I think I'm gonna go." You blushed.

"Alright, then you can ride with me." Gio said. "I'm picking up Kenan once my shift is done. The guy is probably still asleep as we speak."

"Kenan's coming?" You asked.

"Yeah, why?" Gio turned to Rebecca who made a grimace similar to yours. 

"You know what, perhaps I should go." She said, "The more the merrier, no?"

"Right?"

"I'll call Maria and tell her to meet us there."

********************************************

You have seen many bands play live before. It always fascinated you how brave and care free the artists seemed on stage, going off on their instruments. Luca was no different, letting down his hair while rocking out on stage. It wasn't often that he let the world see what hid beneath the strings of his man-bun, — oh but when he did.

"Thank you everybody, I hope you've had a goodnight!"

"Go Luca!" 

The crowd, including yourself, shouted his name at the top of your lungs. You weren't the only girl who had eyes for the band's lead guitarist, however, you were one of the few people who knew him personally.

"Great set man. You were awesome." Gio said, as your friends gathered backstage at the end of the night. The five of you had danced the night away like maniacs, influenced by an unhealthy amount of cheap alcohol. 

"Thanks alot for coming guys, it means a lot."

"The night isn't over man, we're having drinks back at my place, aren't you coming." Said Gio.

"Sorry guys, gotta help the band pack up. But I'll see you guys at school on Monday. Y/N?" He said, stunning you with a smile.

"Y...yes?"

"I'll pick you up in the morning. You can drive my dad's Cadillac to school."

"It's a date." You grinned. It was really nice of Luca to want to stay and help his band. "He's so kind." You blurred out, during an intoxicated rant at Gio's house. Only you, Kenan, Gio and Maria made it back. Rebecca had her dad pick her up at the bar.

"So if you had to spend the night with someone in our friend group, it would be Luca." Gio nodded.

"Yes, but don't tell him I said that." You blushed. It was a messy game of truth or dare. The four of you were too drunk to perform any proper dares, which resulted in the majority of you choosing truth.

"Kenan, truth or dare?" You asked. It was your turn and you only asked him since it became obvious that you were ignoring him.

"Dare." He said.

"Okay, I dare you to make out with Maria for one minute."

Kenan grinned, but did not hesitate to scoot closer to Maria who sat next to him on the sofa. The two of them shared seductive glances before leaning in and engaging in the sloppiest make out session you've ever seen.

"My turn." Kenan wiped his mouth with a swipe of his tongue. "Gio, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Which girl in our friend group would you rather spend a night with?"

"Maria. My turn. Kenan, same question, which girl in our friend group would you rather spend a night with?"

"You guys are so annoying." Maria sighed, although you couldn't help but to notice the soft shade of pink that had blossomed on her cheeks. It might have been the aftermath of her make out session with Kenan, however, you noticed how she and Gio would throw glances at each other when they thought that no one was looking.

"Y/N."

"Huh?" You turned your head, noticing how all eyes were on you now, how Gio and Maria were holding back their giggles. "What's so funny?" They refused to answer you, drunk fucks. However, that's when you felt a hand on your thigh, with Kenan leaning in to whisper in your ear. "They're made for each other, don't you think? Almost like true love."

"What do you know about true love?" You shrugged his hand away.

Kenan's expression faltered. "You're still angry with me."

"Hah!" You laughed, but did not intend to sound as cruel as you did. "Try humiliated."

"Y/N, what happened during our…"

"Save it Kenan, I'm over it."

"You don't seem over it."

You turned to him, surprised by the way his eyes glowed beneath the dimmed lights of Gio's living room. "If there's anything I can do or say to make you forgive me...."

"You can't and there isn't."

His shoulders withered. "I never meant to hurt your feelings. I just....I get so tired after training. Sometimes I just can't help but run my mouth because I am so exhausted."

If this was Kenan's attempt to make you feel sorry for him you weren't buying it. Although it did strike your heart earlier, when Gio had gone to pick Kenan up at his house, revealing that he was missing a lot of days at school due to his commitments to Juventus. It was clear that Kenan lived a life different from all of yours. But surely he will go on to do great things in the future.

"Y/N?"

"Huh?" You had tuned out of the conversation for a second. But apparently a second was enough for Gio and Maria to have snuck upstairs, leaving you and Kenan behind. He stared at you with big eyes, the alcohol on his breath strong but sweet. "Can I kiss you?"

"What?" You snorted, however, Kenan had already closed his eyes, leaning into you, his lips pressing against the corner of your mouth.

You flinched. And as your hand went to push his weight off of you, the kiss deepend, Kenan's tongue seeking entrance to your mouth. It was granted as you gasped for air, his hand snaking behind your neck, railing you back in to kiss him again. It was unexpected, how good it felt. How a drunk kiss could be laced with so much passion, persuading you to make a series of bad decisions.

"Let's go upstairs, I brought condoms." Kenan traced his lips at the edge of your jaw, nipping at the skin. 

"Okay." You whispered, however, your need for him became urgent, your legs wrapping around his hips, pulling him down to lay on top of you. Kenan's mouth moving down your neck tickled like feathers. His hands found their way underneath your shirt, stopping to cup the swell of your bra. But in a moment of indecision, like a child in the buffet line, his hand slipped down your tummy, to your thighs.

"What?" You giggled, seeing as he stopped to stare at you, eyes foggy from the alcohol.

"I don't want you to regret this."

"What is there to regret?"

"I'm serious Y/N, I want you to want this. I want you to want…me."

Your eyes widened. "Kenan." Your brain was clouded from the alcohol but not smashed enough for you not to recognize the change in his voice. Your hands went to this face. "I want this." You nodded. "I want you."

It was all the reassurance he seemed to need. Kenan leaned into kiss you and the tenderness of the kiss flared a swarm of butterflies to invade your stomach. He squeezed your thighs not minding the size of them. He was almost obsessed, eager to strip you of your skinny jeans. He did so promptly and you helped by raising your hips. However, you were not as comfortable during the next phase. The liquid courage in your veins ceased to flow once the realization hit that you were about to see Kenan naked for the first time and he you.

"You, okay?" He asked, noticing how your hands weren't running down his body anymore.

"Kenan I…?" 

A fear sprung his eyes, A fear that you may have come to the conclusion that this was a mistake.

"I'm not as confident about my body as people think." You said.

"Your body?" He frowned, and shamelessly stared at what lay beneath him. 

"Yes, my body." You sighed. "You said so yourself, I'm not skinny and guys like you like skinny girls without belly pouches and what not. "

"Guys' like me?" Kenan repeated, and if he was planning on playing dumb, you were grabbing your things and heading out the door. "Y/N, I don't know who's made up such lies about me, or if it's just you who likes to have a guy repeat how fucking sexy you are?"

"Pardon?" It felt like being hit by a brick. A brick that snapped you out of any cloudiness you previously felt.

Kenan smiled and broadly so. "I meant it the first time I said it, I like you Y/N, all of you."

It was as if a vail unraveled before you, revealing the beauty that was Kenan. His smile, his dimples, the cocky way that he arched his splintered brow, it was all offered to you, all you had to do was accept. A few minutes later you were going at it again, tongue deep, your bodies grinding against each other as if you were trying to start a fire. It was the wildest thing that you had ever done, to ride someone on a living room couch, not holding back on the moans, a pure reflection on how good it felt to have Kenan inside of you. He was merciless, shameless even. And after the first round he had you spread your legs while he went down on you for twenty minutes, refusing to let back to back oragsms stop him from making you squirm. You would certainly regret it in the morning and the near future, but for now you let yourself go under.

Part 1 Part 2

[pjsk-story-summaries]

Smile of a Dreamer Event Story Summary

TL;DR: Emu learns of her brother's plan to tear down old Phoenix Wonderland attractions in favor of new ones. Though she tries to object, she keeps getting shut down. Rin and Len notice her with a troubled expression, but she quickly forces a smile and runs off. She doesn't want to burden everyone with her worries with the show contest so soon.

While leaving a planning session one evening, Tsukasa, Nene, and Rui overhear shouting in the park. There, they find Emu arguing with her brothers. Rui ultimately tells them off. Though they try, Emu still refuses to tell them what's wrong.

Rin and Len find Emu in SEKAI later fighting back her sadness. They tell her it's ok to be sad, and that her friends truly do want to help.

The next day, Emu follows one of Rui's drones over to the ferris wheel, where Tsukasa takes them all up. He points out the Wonder Stage to Emu, which, with all their new visitors, no longer looks so lonely. They want to make everyone smile, and that includes Emu. She breaks down crying and tells them everything.

Though the situation is difficult, none of them want to give up on the park and Emu's dreams. Rui gets an idea for what they could possibly do to save it.

Fan translation (Caramel Subs and Arvon Oven) / Official English YouTube Upload / Song (Once Upon a Dream) 2DMV

Chapter 1: Emu wants to keep practicing even after rehearsal. They all want their next contest show to beat even the Phoenix Stage's. Kigurumi comes over to tell Emu her brothers will be arriving home early. The rest of Wonderlands x Showtime are surprised to learn she even has siblings, and that her brothers run Phoenix Wonderland. Tsukasa offers to let her go home early to see them.

All the Otori siblings and their father have dinner together for the first time in a while. The brothers start discussing the new rides they're planning on adding, since the park is starting to lose visitors. The show contest was only a temporary solution. Emu's upset, since her grandpa said shows weren't about winning or losing, and asks if there's anything else they can do to attract more visitors. All her ideas are shut down. Still, she doesn't want to give up.

Chapter 2: The next morning, Emu overhears her brothers discussing removing some old attractions. She runs in to interject, but is shut down again. Keisuke explains that Riley Entertainment, an overseas entertainment group, will be coming to inspect the park soon hopefully to strike a deal to use their characters to attract visitors, replacing Phenny. Keisuke tries reassuring Emu that the Wonder Stage will be safe, but Emu's still worried. She wants Phoenix Wonderland to be a place where everyone can smile, and that the memories held there should be protected, not destroyed. Though they understand why Emu's upset, this is the business decision they have to make.

Wonderlands x Showtime meets in the SEKAI to discuss their next show. Rui and Tsukasa brought many books for source material. While they debate ideas, Emu sneaks out. Rin and Len find her frowning, but she quickly forces a smile and runs back to the main group.

Chapter 3: The next day, Wonderlands x Showtime head back to SEKAI to continue planning minus Emu, who had to stay back for family reasons. They keep running into dead ends and unable to compromise. Rin and Len pop in to say hi, accidentally revealing Emu's troubled look from the day before. They're worried now something serious happened.

While leaving the park, Tsukasa, Nene, and Rui hear someone angrily yelling and decide to investigate. They find Emu arguing with her brothers over trying to change the park. When Shosuke insults their stage, Tsukasa tries to defend it, only to be stopped by Rui's warning. Shosuke continues rambling about how following Emu will only lead to ruin, since her head is permanently stuck in the clouds. Rui sharply tells him that it's a shame Shosuke's given up on his dreams; luckily, Emu's mastered that art, so he should stop with the insults. Keisuke and Shosuke leave.

Chapter 4: The troupe asks why she was fighting with her brothers, but not wanting to worry her friends, Emu brushes it off. She runs away before they can press further.

Back home, Hinata comes into Emu's room to chat. She doesn't think grandpa would be sad, since Emu already managed to save the Wonder Stage. She doesn't want Emu to give up on this, either.

Chapter 5: Tsukasa, Nene, and Rui are worried for Emu. They want to help her, but don't know how if she won't even tell them what's wrong. She tends to clam up when issues are big. Nene remember back to their Christmas show, when Emu started asking her about the past to help her open up. She tells Nenerobo about her concerns, who, despite her wishes, replays that message directly to Emu.

Chapter 6: Tsukasa, Nene, and Rui continue their discussion in SEKAI. Emu pretends to get props while trying to fight back her worries. Rin and Len find her and try to cheer her up. Though Emu points out she's smiling, they can tell it's forced. Len reassures her that it's ok to be sad, and that her friends can only help if she lets them.

The next day, Emu waits for the others at the park. Suddenly, one of Rui's drones appears and asks her to follow it. She ends up at the ferris wheel, where Nene, Rui, and Tsukasa are waiting.

Chapter 7: Tsukasa takes them all up on the ferris wheel. Emu looks around the park, but is saddened by all the attractions that will eventually get torn up. Tsukasa asks her to look at the Wonder Stage. Now, with people walking around, it doesn't look nearly as lonely as before. Thanks to Wonderlands x Showtime, so many people were to smile. If it's them, there's nothing they can't do. Tsukasa asks again if Emu would let them help her. They all want to see her smile too.

The day grandpa died, Emu promised she would never cry again. Yet, she can't hold back her tears for them.

Chapter 8: The group reviews what Emu told them. She apologizes for not mentioning it sooner. They thank her for telling them anyways. Without her, none of them would be there in the first place.

The group tries to come up with some ideas, but fall short. Overall, Emu's brother's plan makes financial sense. Still, they won't give up. Tsukasa's speech inspires Rui to come up with an idea: a show that nobody has ever seen before.

Emu's grateful for all her friend's help. She can't help but smile after telling them. Tsukasa leads them all to the stage and calls for a unifying "Wonderhoy!", but is beaten to the punch by Emu.

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

Mother Mary | The Joys And Fears Of Motherhood | Platonic [Male Reader]

Dialogue prompt: "You did a good job with Him."

When Mary is uncertain whether she has been a good mother to her Son, you reassure her of her worth.

Requested by J Bart

The Mount of Olives is one of Mary’s favourite spots to retreat to nowadays. Although not present herself at the time of her Son’s ascension, she finds solace in standing here, gazing up at the sky with the knowledge that He will return one day, and that she is favoured by God Himself. The burden of being the mother of the Son of God was — and still is, in some way — heavy. Mary never truly understood the true meaning of Jesus’ ministry, the full picture of what had to happen, until the moment was there that He gave the Spirit and the days afterwards. Now that He has returned to heaven to sit at His Father’s right hand, she misses Him like a mother would miss her child under any other circumstance. Son of God or not, He had still been her boy, the One she birthed and raised, and somewhere deep down inside her heart, He would always be that, regardless of divinity.

Jesus had instructed John to take in Mary as if she were his own mother, and the son of Thunder hadn’t hesitated to take on his Master’s command. Whereas John the Beloved had become her son to look after her, she liked spending time with the rest of His followers, too, you included. “Will you walk with me?” she had asked you this morning on the threshold of your home. You hadn’t hesitated to join her on one of her routine walks to the place she liked to visit so much.

You’re carrying a bag containing lunch and water skins, not wanting to encumber Mary with the heavy items as you walk up the mount where Jesus had been taken into heaven. She’s walking next to you with that particular kind smile she usually wears. Even for a woman who suffered so much through the afflictions of her son, knowing she would lose Him one day, she remains strong and positive in the face of hardship. From your mother, you had learnt that parenthood was difficult in and of itself, so you’d reckon that being the mother of the Messiah would be even heavier to digest. 

Everything about this woman is admirable. You’d only be so lucky to have an ounce of her resilience. From what you have learnt over the past years of travelling at Jesus’ side, you know that these words are better to be said out loud to the person in question. Perhaps you’ll find a good moment to tell her.

The two of you veer off the beaten path and find the field where the Disciples had told you Jesus had ascended into heaven. Neither you nor Mary had borne witness to this event, but knowing that this was the place where it had happened brings some solace into your heart. Not that it would ultimately matter, for no place on Earth is as holy as the Son of Man Himself and the last thing you want is for the soil He stood on to become an idol in and of itself, but still you find peace in knowing His promise of return. Be it in a few months, years, perhaps even centuries. Another valuable lesson you have taken away is that God’s definition of ‘soon’ is not only variable, but also very different from what mortal men may consider ‘soon’. 

The sun is at its highest point and shines down on you with a ferocity that has you squint against the bright blue sky. Mary narrows her gaze a bit as she looks up, folding her hands on her back as she deeply inhales. “Thank you for coming with me, son.” she muses. 

“Of course.” you reply, “I like spending time with you. Makes me feel like I still have an eema in some way, even though John is like your son, now.” Mary gives you a gentle look as you mention your late mother. 

“Ah, I’d be happy to fill that role in some way, if only in listening to you.” 

“Just your presence and kind words are enough, really.” you admit. 

“Well, I’m glad to. And in a way, I feel a little like the mother of all of you.” 

Lightly chuckling, you reach into your bag to offer her a drink of water. She accepts it and takes a long swig from the waterskin. Something flashes inside her gaze, her eyes turning to the clouds, a bittersweet smile tugging at her lips as she takes another thoughtful sip.

She hands it back to you. 

“You must miss Him a lot.” 

Mary hums. “You have no idea.” There is a certain edge in her voice you’ve rarely heard on her. You put an arm around her, giving her a side-hug, which she reciprocates fondly.

“Some days are easier than others.” Mother Mary remains positive. “And there is no other woman who can say she gave birth to the Son of God.” 

“Changed His nappies, too.” 

Mary laughs at that a bit. “Son of God, yet fully human.” 

“Fully human indeed. I recall the stories you used to tell us around the fire. I’ve never seen Nathanael so horrified.” 

She laughs and rests a hand on her cheek as she sighs, turning her gaze to the sky again, almost as if she is expecting for her Son to come back for a few minutes just for her. “I know that I am greatly blessed.”

“You are. And I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we greatly admire you.”

Mary lets out a high pitched hum and gives you a gentle smile. “Hm. That’s very sweet of you to say, (Y/n). But you’re giving me too much credit. It is Jesus Who deserves all the praise.”

You sigh at her humble nature.

“Don’t be hard on yourself.” 

A brief silence. The soft look falls from her features and makes place for a frown instead as she stares at the grass below for a moment. “Sometimes… I just feel like I could have done better.” Mother Mary confesses, “I know I’m not perfect, no one is except Jesus Himself, but… Well, being His mother has added so much extra weight to my task.”

“I have yet to meet a mother who is perfect.” you say. “I know many mothers. I knew the eema of Peter and Andrew. She wasn’t perfect. And Salome, do you think she’s perfect? No, not even closely. My own eema, may she rest in peace, was full of flaws, too. Did I love her any less because of it? Of course not. Do James and John hold it against their mother that she sometimes runs her mouth? They love her just as much. Peter and Andrew only talk positively about their late eema.” 

Mary listens to your words, her uncertainty melting away. “You did a good job with Him. You brought Him up well. You have taken care of Him through it all, remained patient with Him, taught Him how to traverse life like the rest of us. And in the end — although this is not the end — He is right where He should be. He has done what He had been sent to do in the first place, done the will of the Father.” 

She mulls over your words for a moment, weighing their worth whilst digesting their truth. You were correct; Every choice she has ever made in her life regarding her Son has led to this very reality. And along the way, she has made it easier for Him. Mary remained a source of motherly comfort wherever she could, and maybe, just maybe, the thought of her has helped him reach Him the cross, too. After all, Jesus died and rose not for those who don’t know Him, but also to those closest to Him — even His own mother was in need of salvation after all, as she had sung in her joyous melody upon visiting her late aunt Elizabeth. 

Both of you cast your gazes upwards towards the skies as one being, where you knew Jesus had ascended into heaven to be with the Father, to return at a moment and time no one knew. It could be ten years, a hundred, a thousand. You have learnt during your time with Jesus, the meaning of soon can be different depending on the context as well as on the person in question uttering the term — patient or impatient, human or divine — and keeping that in mind you are well aware that in this lifetime, you might not see Him anymore, but beyond that. And what is this moment, this very life, compared to eternity itself?

Mary lets out a shivering sigh, a solemn edge to the sound. “I miss Him.” 

“I’m sure He misses you, too. Mary, you’ve been the best eema you could have been. You have completed an honourable task and I’m certain you will be elevated about it for ages to come. God sees your heart, knows your thoughts, your struggles. And He knows you did well. You did all you could, and you’ve done so splendidly.” 

A cloud drifts in front of the sun, casting a shadow over the two of you. It brings forth a cooler breeze. “I brought date cakes.” Mary says, referring to the paper-wrapped package she had given to you earlier to put inside the bag. “They’re likely melting away.” 

“Oh, they’ve got honey in them?” 

She nods and smiles, causing your stomach to involuntarily rumble. “You don’t need to tell me twice. Let’s sit for a while.” 

The sugary date cakes stick to your fingers as Mary hands you one. You thank her, saying a quick prayer over it before you dig in. The treat melts on your tongue and you hum. “These were one of Jesus’ favourite foods when He was a child.” Mary tells you, causing your interest to pique. 

“Really?” 

“Mh-mm. I was very surprised when He first tried them and immediately asked for more, seeing that He had a very strong dislike towards raisins.” 

“Raisins? Really? How come I’ve never known this? We had— Jesus sometimes ate raisins while on the road.” You snort a laugh. “I’m very confused right now.” 

Mary laughs and licks some honey from her lips before swallowing her bite of food. “Hm… I know that Jesus didn’t complain about any food while travelling. He knew it was scarce and if He had to eat it, of course He would do so without whimpering about it. But whenever I gave Him the choice between cakes with or without raisins, He always chose the latter. I won’t say that Jesus refused to eat them, I’m just trying to say that… He had preferences.” 

“As we all do.” you muse at the lighthearted story about Mary’s experiences with raising the Son of God. “Fully divine, yet fully human.” 

“Before He rose again, yes.” Mary sighs, smiling as she finishes the rest of her sweet treat. You take another bite of yours and observe the older woman as she rinses the stickiness from her hands with a bit of water. “Now, He has returned to His Father in full glory.” 

The clouds leave the sun alone again, drifting away to allow warm rays to cast over your faces. Mary closes her eyes, basking in it.

“I can’t wait to see Him again.” you confess suddenly. “And until then, we will praise Him. And spread the Word of God, as He commanded us to do. To go to the ends of the Earth to make it known.” 

Mary lets out a pleasant sound before turning to you again. “I wish I could still do more, but these old bones…” 

You give a small shake of your head, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“You have done enough. You have been working so hard for more than thirty years. I think it’s high time that you’ve earned your rest. Just be a witness of Him however you can. The students, all the believers, we will answer to our own calling. Take it easy, okay? You feel things as much as any other mother does, grief and wistfulness, and there is nothing wrong with that. Allow yourself time, and the rest will sort itself out, as long as we focus on Him.” 

You gesture at the sky, a movement that Mary follows with her eyes before she looks at you again. 

“You have wise words in you, (Y/n). I am certain that God will use you for His glory.”

A soft smile tugs at your lips. “I’m sure of it, too. Now, I was wondering…” Her eyes widen a bit as you lean closer to her, your smile turning into a grin. “Do you have any more of these lovely date cakes?” 

Mary laughs lightly and pats your shoulder, reaching for the package again. “Of course. You boys are always so hungry for seconds.” 

Gratefully, you dig into a second piece of cake as she fondly watches you enjoy the sweet treat. Mary knew she had to bring enough of it. It is a part of her motherly instinct that she will never quite lose, no matter how much time passes. 

[ejzah]

A/N: I swear I was working on this chapter before I got that anon ask today, but it just encouraged me to finish it more quickly.

***

In Miss Blye’s Class, Part 30

Kensi spent the night fuming after she left Deeks’ house. After meeting Monica, she perfectly understood why he’d been so out of sorts. She’d only spent a few minutes with his ex and had to resist the urge to throw something. She could only imagine how difficult it was to deal with her snide comments and manipulation for hours at a time.

She didn’t know what Monica would tell Deeks, if anything, though he’d like wonder where the coffee mysteriously appeared from. Over the course of the evening, she picked up her phone half a dozen times to call or text Deeks, but ultimately decided not to. Deeks had enough on his plate without her adding more drama. She’d just have to hope that Monica didn’t try to paint her in a bad light, and if she did, that Deeks could see through the lies.

When she got to work the next morning, Nell took one look at her face, and immediately got out her stash of chocolate, offering Kensi the meerkat decorated jar. Kensi took three Reese’s and started setting up for the day. She’d been too distracted last night to prep as much as she should have so now she’d have to rush to get things ready before the first bell.

“Ok, spill. You walked in here looking ready for murder,” Nell said, making herself at home in Kensi’s desk chair.

“I went to surprise Deeks with some coffee, but when I got there he wasn’t home. But Monica was,” Kensi explained tightly.

“Oh crap, what happened?”

“Let me see. She said she’d been wanting to meet me, accused me of being jealous, and told me all the things she knows about me and Deeks.” She dropped a wipe off writing page at each spot at one of the round table, then tore the wrapper off a chocolate and shoved it in her mouth. “And then she had the audacity to say she’s just looking out for him,” she ranted, slamming a basket of markers in the middle of the table. “Looking out for him would have been, I don’t know, coming to see her son more than one every year or so. Or maybe not just up and leaving her family.”

Kensi turned around, hands on her hips to face Nell. She was slightly gratified to see Nell’s stunned expression.

“Oh my god, that’s insane. What did Deeks say?” Nell asked.

“I didn’t tell him.”

“Why the hell not?!” Nell shouted, then seemed to remember where they were, and lowered her voice. “He needs to know how crazy this woman is.”

“I’m pretty sure he knows,” Kensi hedged. Nell gave her an unimpressed look. “Fine. I didn’t want to bug him with it. Monica was infuriating and has zero sense of boundaries, but she didn’t actually do anything truly terrible. He’s dealing with enough as it is.”

“He’d still want to know,” Nell insisted.

“You’re probably right. I need to cool down a little more before I make any decision though. Deeks does not need to hear the rant you just did.”

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” Reaching into the candy jar, Nell tossed Kensi another piece. “And in the mean time, I could have Eric delete all her online information and presence. He wouldn’t leave a trace,” Nell offered, with a focused, slightly unnerving stare that scared Kensi a little bit. “It’s not obvious and hard to track. ‘Oh, none of your credit cards are working and no one knows who you are? That’s odd.’”

“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Kensi said quickly, and Nell shrugged, checking her watch.

“Well, the offer is always open if you change your mind. I have to go set up watercolor stations. The first graders are making coffee filter fishies today.”

“Cute. Thanks for listening to me rant.”

Nell gave Kensi a hug, adding in an extra squeeze. “Anytime.” When she pulled back, she fixed Kensi with a serious look. “Talk to Deeks.”

“I will.”

Smiling in approval, Nell headed for the door in her usual swirl of skirts.

“Oh, and just to reiterate, that is a complete no on the digital erasing!”

“You’re no fun!” Nell called back from down the hall.

***

“No, that is not a satisfactory offer,” Deeks muttered to himself, setting the proposed contract for a new client aside, and grabbing a pen.

“Deeks, just who I was looking for.”

He didn’t need to look to know that Talia would be leaning halfway through his door.

“Not in the mood today, Talia,” he said shortly.

“Aw, are things not all sunshine and rainbows in Marty and Kensi land?” she asked. Deeks odd look up now, and smiled tightly.

“Our relationship is just fine, thanks for asking. Now, I have like ten contracts to review today, so I could spare your usual charming presence.”

He knew he was being unnecessarily rude, even to Talia, who thrived on getting him to react. His patience was at an all time low after spending increasingly more time in Monica’s company over the week though.

Instead of taking the hint, Talia grabbed a spare chair, dragging it right next to his. She spun it around to sit backwards, resting her forearms on the back.

“Wow, you really are out of sorts. You haven’t been this cranky since you first started, and definitely not since you met the teacher,” she noted, tiling her head to observe him. “Hm, bloodshot eyes, bad mood, doesn’t want to talk…did you have a bad surf?”

Deeks huffed out an irritated laugh. “No.”

“They ran all out of fish tacos at your favorite truck.”

“No. Are you done?”

“Definitely not. I’ll keep going until you either tell me or I guess right.”

Sighing, Deeks pressed his palms over his eyes. He did not have the energy for this. “My ex-wife is back in town after no contact for over a year, and now she seem to be trying to rebuild her relationship with Caleb. So naturally he’s a mess, I’m a mess, and she seems to be having the time of her life.” He finished by blowing out a noisy breath. “Sorry. That was a lot.”

Talia shook her head, looking angry. “Don’t apologize. I’d be mad too. Who does your ex think she is waltzing in and trying to insert herself back into your life?” she demanded.

Deeks turned his head to squint at her, vaguely surprised the intensity of her response. “Wow, I had no idea you felt so strongly about my dysfunctional personal life.”

Talia jabbed a finger at him. “Hey, the only one who gets to torture you, is me. Plus, I find your relationship with the teacher adorable.”

“Wonderful.”

“So where’s she staying? Not with you I hope.”

“Thank god, no,” Deeks said with a shudder. “I honestly don’t know and don’t care. I learned the first time she came back that it’s best to keep as much as a separation as possible. But, she’s been coming over for dinner or visits every couple days.”

“Do you have visitation rights set up?”

“Nah, I have full, uncontested custody. I’m letting the visits happen for as long as Caleb wants them.”

“I hate flighty parents,” Talia said darkly, adding to Deeks’ raised eyebrow. “I had an uncle like that. Give me just five minutes alone with your ex. I’m trained in jiujitsu, karate, taekwondo, and good old knock-down-drag-out fights,” she informed Deeks with a significant nod.

“Good to know. You worry me sometimes,” Deeks commented lightly. “Also, how have you not been arrested before?”

“Hey, there’s a reason I became a lawyer.”

“Lovely. I think I’ll pass on that for now.”

“Suit yourself,” Talia said, slapping her thighs with her palms.

“You know, it actually helped talking to you,” Deeks said, surprising himself by admitting it. “Thanks.”

“Of course. It’s no fun messing with you when you’re already in a bad mood,” she told him. Because of course she couldn’t just take a compliment. “As repayment though, you will be buying me lunch today.”

“I think I can handle that,” Deeks sighed. Talia nodded in approval.

“Oh, and just in case you need an outside perspective, I’m always happy to talk over the legal side of all this,” she added. “Totally on the down low though. I can’t have people thinking I’m friendly.”

“I won’t tell a soul,” Deeks promised, smiling for the first time all morning.

***

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the parallel of Kensi and Deeks each getting advice and a listening ear from a friend. This version of Talia is certainly a lot more helpful and less handsy than in canon or my previous interpretations.

[mysticstarlightduck]

🌙 - If given the chance, what is one thing about their life your OC would change permanently? 

Thank you so much for the ask, @kaylinalexanderbooks!

I'll go with a few of my OCs from some of my WIPs for variety (:

(The Tag Game)

🌙 - If given the chance, what is one thing about their life your OC would change permanently? 

(Of Starlight and Beasts)

Corah - She would like to have a better mother, one who wouldn't purposefully ruin their family name, and most importantly one who wouldn't simply walk out on her and her father at the first opportunity.

Eidan - He would like to prevent the siege of Monbern from happening. The Siege of Monbern was marked by terrible bloodshed and the deaths of many innocents, but it was also the day Eidan himself lost a lot of his old life (his cousin, his reputation, etc).

Arammys - He would probably make it so his memories weren't stolen. A lot of his current hurts and insecurities come from the fact that he knows nothing of his past, of who he was before losing his memories, all except his name.

Masen - Secretly, he'd probably go back in time and try to prevent him and his twin from falling apart. Part of why he currently hates Kyran so much is that Masen also blames himself but doesn't want to admit it. Plus, he'd probably try to prevent the execution that made their brother an undead.

Kyran - Kyran believes he has betrayed his family because the choices he made - and the sides he took as a teen - ultimately did lead to him and his brothers falling apart and Elias getting executed, even if indirectly. He'd try to go to the past and fix things.

(Song of Thorns)

Roselyn - A part of Roselyn would like to go back in time and make it so that she, Jasen, and Portia never moved to the capital. However, then her life would've stayed the same as it was before, which she doesn't want either. So the only thing I think she'd change is that they would still go to the capital but she would find a way to keep Jasen from going missing.

Alaric - Even though Alaric is a prince, he did not have many friends, so I think if he could change one thing about his life he would love to have a childhood friend he could truly trust and rely on, a bond he never had.

Portia - She wouldn't change anything about her life, instead I think that if Portia could change anything about the world she would make it so every stray dog and cat had a good and loving home and that all wild animals were safe.

Renn - Renn would probably change his life so that people didn't think he was a monster and should be killed just because they didn't understand his magic or his vampiric traits. He'd also probably try to save his dad from being betrayed by the nobles.

Jasen - He'd try to escape the nobles faster or to try and find a way to not get caught, though that'd be pretty difficult. I think would also have liked to have been able to afford more things his sisters wanted when they were kids.

Oriana - I don't think Oriana would change anything about her life honestly! She loves her immortal adoptive mother, has amazing forest friends, and has her magic, Oriana is pretty satisfied with her life as is I think!

(Enchanted Illusions)

Augustus - I think he'd like his Wizard Trials to not have gone so wrong - if that hadn't happened he wouldn't have been humiliated by his peers, he wouldn't have lost his studies and reputation and most importantly, he wouldn't have made the deal he has made with the Deathbringer, which he regrets.

Harriet - She'd probably want people to respect her cousin more - despite their wealth, some of the other nobles consider them "outsiders" and often make snide comments. She'd also like to make the nobleman Liam stop pursuing her romantically when she said she wasn't interested, instead of trying to court her at all costs.

Sam - Sam would like to make sure all his debts are paid so that he can finally leave the industrial hell that is Strystead and try to find a better life back at Ansburke. He'd also like to be able to afford any food he and his siblings wanted.

Evangeline - She'd want to go back in time and prevent her father from marrying Lady Ophelia. Her stepmother was a scourge in their lives throughout her childhood and a very abusive woman. Evie would like to never have met her.

Cailean - He would go back to when he was ten and stop himself from being frozen in fear when the Hemlock Society drowned his older brother - he would've liked to be able to have saved him instead of having just watched in fear from afar.

[neptoons1998]

A Daughter's Comfort

A/N: I am back with more mama!Okoye and daughter!Riri.

Tag gang: @mal-urameshi @xblackreader @pantherheart @somethingcleaverandwhitty @karimwillia @elleaitch22 @therosehost @purple-nugget

Summary: This is II of A Mother's Love. This takes place after the infinity war.

Okoye couldn’t believe they won, but they did at a high cost. A brief thought Ironman, Tony Stark paid the ultimate price for it. In Okoye’s opinion that made him a good man, she gave a silent prayer that his afterlife was peaceful.

When Okoye stepped out of the magic man's teleportation circle. She thought her eyes were deceiving her. There stood her daughter looking around the palace trying to find someone to help her. 

“Riri?” Okoye called out not truly believing that her daughter was staring in front of her. Riri didn’t say anything as she raced her way to be in her mother’s arms. Okoye lost all her composure as she felt her spear slipping out of her hand, running to her daughter. 

“Mama,” Riri said back enjoying the embrace of her mother. She was still confused about how she was in a cold void and now here in her mother’s arms.

“My small girl,” Okye whispered back as she pressed soft kisses on Riri’s cheeks. Okoye held her gaze as if she was trying to keep the memory of what her child looked like. Even in the five years, Riri was blipped she still looked like the sweet seventeen she would come home to, “You’re back. You’re really back.”

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Coming back from being blipped was strange, to say the least. To Riri, it was like she was stuck in the in-between. She was supposed to be twenty-two now, yet she was still seventeen. Her mama and her aunties have aged while she has not. Wakanda has changed as well, the nation was quick in its aid to its once blipped citizens. Having the best therapists and other aid for this difficult time.

“Do you feel a little out of place?” Riri asked Shuri one day. The pair holed themselves up in the lab. The girlfriends wanted to help the formerly blip and non-blip citizens create a faster monorail and other public transportation. Shuri looked away from the board that held equations, the princess twisted the stylist around her hand. 

“A little,” Shuri gave a dry laugh, “Besides not being twenty-three and that my mother is much older is weird to see.”

Riri nodded the pair were blipped together. Shuri walked closer to her love, “What’s on your mind?”

“It’s just,” Riri started as she looked into her girlfriend’s eyes, “ I feel like I’m not supposed to be here.”

“You’re not planning on hurting yourself,” Shuri demanded. She couldn’t bare the thought her beloved think she was better off not being here. Riri shook her head as she wrapped her hands around Shuri’s, “No no not like that. I guess what I am trying to say is that. I feel like I’m not supposed to be here, like Wakanda.” 

Shuri still not understanding, “Where are you supposed to be ?” 

Riri’s shoulders slumped over letting her head rest above Shuri’s chest. Letting take a moment to enjoy hearing her love’s heartbeat, “I don’t know.”

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Some days later, Riri saw her childhood hero, Nakia. The woman stroll along the riverbank when Riri came to her. Riri had always adored the War dogs something about them willing to change everything about themselves in order to protect Wakanda is something to be amazed by. And just like everyone, Nakia also changed, her once small fro was now long locs with simple pieces of jewelry around it. 

“It’s good to see my pupil back,” She smiled as she gave Riri a warm hug. Riri let herself be relaxed. Nakia still smiling, “How you’ve been?”

Riri gave a small sad smile, “Not the greatest.”

Nakia frowned at the statement, as she looped one of her arms around Riri’s shoulders, “What’s the matter?”

With that Riri opens the floodgates between her coming back and seeing new changes. Her mother has all but sewed them together, wanting to know Riri’s whereabouts and being super close to her. The general feeling of being lost and having no sense of direction. 

Nakia and Riri sat together on one of the many mountains as they watched the sunset. Riri lend on Nakia’s shoulders far too tired to do anything else.

“Well, what is something you want to do?” Nakia asked her. Riri’s quirked up one of her eyebrows. Nakia tried again,” Maybe if you did that something, no matter how small maybe it’ll help you get into the swing of things.”

Riri’s still looked on at the sunset as words stumbled out of her mouth, “I want go to the States. I always wanted to go but Umama always said no.”

“What would you do there?” Nakia asked. Riri thought for a moment, what would she do there besides visiting different states? 

“I know I want to help and I always wanted to go to one of their famous universities,” Riri said as she began to lend off of Nakia’s shoulder. Nakia nodded along as Riri continued to ramble on.

“Plus I just know I would pass their admission application with ease and the classes would light work,” Riri continued now standing up. Riri feel the fullness of life that she hadn’t felt in years now showing up in her face. Too focused on how she would get the King to say yes to her prosal she forgot to say goodbye To Nakia. Nakia gave a laugh as she watch Riri stumbled as she moved down the hill. 

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Riri knew her mother was going to be mad that she didn’t tell her first that she would be leaving to go to the States. She didn’t think her mother would be this mad. Okoye crossed her arms, she couldn’t believe her daughter was trying to leave! Doesn’t she know how unsafe the world is? Why does she want to leave so badly? And to help people she could continue doing that here in Wakanda, where Okoye knows she is safe!

“No, why?” Riri asked, “This isn’t fair.”

“Fair,” Okoye huffed shaking her head, “It wasn’t fair when you decided to gain witness and permission with the king to leave Wakanda. I have a feeling that Wardog had something to do with it.”

“You make it sound like I’m not coming back,” Riri retored back as she watched her mother move around the house. The pair were living in the border district now. Her mother wanted to focus on her, all the reason why Riri desperately wanted to leave and see the world for herself. 

“Only because you would have said no,” Riri supplied as she stood to follow her mom. "You think everything is too dangerous for me. I know I can handle it," Riri said as she twisted her fingers together, unable to stop moving around from her mother. Okoye was “fixing” the fruit bowl, “Because I am trying to protect you. You only know what the states look like based on their little tv shows and movies. You have no idea how ugly that nation is.” 

Riri gave a tired sigh, “ All the more reason for me to go! I want the experience, do you want me to stay here all my life?”

“Yes!” Okoye stressed, “My job is to make sure Wakanda and her citizens are safe a-and how am I supposed to do that when you want to go to a place opposite of that.”

There is a silence between the pair, both trapped in their own thoughts and feelings. Both wanted the other to know how they felt and where they were coming from. 

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In a short couple of days, Riri gave a small wave to her as she aboard the hovercraft. That would be taking her to Cambridge, Massachusetts, under the alias of Riri Williams, the upcoming freshman at MIT. Okoye lost her child again, the warrior took the day off her mind to consume worrying about her child. That she accidentally bumped into Nakia. Instead of apologizing the warrior’s eyes narrow. 

“I know you put this idea in her head,” Okoye voiced out to Nakia. Nakia didn’t response she wasn’t going to deny it or lie about it, “It pays to be a childhood hero,”

Okoye could help but feel the crushing weight of sorrow again,“Why would you do that to me? Do you hate me?” 

Nakia shook her head as she wrapped her hands around Okoye’s,“No, I know what Riri was feeling lost and directionless. She just needs  a change of view.”

Okoye sniffled as she bellowed, “No, what she needs was her mother, not her childhood hero to abandon her home and go somewhere unsafe.” 

Nakia gave a sad smile, she could see how deeply attached Okoye was with her daughter. That the warrior wouldn’t be able to help Riri,“ Five years, I thought she was dead for five years. That I lost my baby I would never see her again. A-and I just got my baby back and you took her away,”

“I don’t think so, Riri wasn’t feeling like she belong here. Too many things have changed,” Nakia reasoned. Okoye was too clouded with her worry and guilt that she wasn’t enough for her daughter to stay here in the most protected place. 

It was heartbreaking.

“Once your child leaves you, then you can tell me what she was feeling,” Okoye snapped at Nakia before quickly leaving. 

[little-miss-understood]

Marinette tried not to view who she chose as Champions as her “playthings”. It was bad enough as it was that she had to rely on the emotions of others to defend her city, her home, and her loved ones.

But, as Nooroo had stated when they first met, it was incredibly risky to put herself out in the open. All that she could do was create heroes, and even that seemed like far too much power to be put in the hands of one person. She was however up against a person who had all of the power and then some, except the two Miraculous that he really wanted.

If she was going against a “Monarch”, then she would have to be Mariposa. The Ladybug Miraculous seemed to have up and disappeared, at least to hear it from her small butterfly-shaped friend. Nooroo had told her all that he could and the grimoire that came with him offered nice pictures, but Marinette hadn't come very far in translating it yet. She had no mentor, no clear idea what she was doing, and was trying her best of the situation she found herself in. The best way forward was to try and take back the Miraculous one by one, and ultimately deprive Monarch of being able to do anything.

It was a thankless task, made easier somewhat by Nooroo saying she could have all of his powers right off the bat, including no time limits. But the emotional impact was difficult and the same with trying to keep twenty or so butterflies hidden from her parents, much less also her "secret life".

Still, this “hero” thing came with benefits. It seemed as though Paris was warming to her and her Champions rather than her opponent, and it helped that she was getting to know better some of the people she called upon more often. Quite a few of them were her classmates and friends, though she tried to stay away from people who might try and manipulate the process, such as Chloe. The one time she had called upon her as a Champion left her with a bad headache afterwards, and Nooroo said not to let such a thing happen again lest it backfire and the process get corrupted.

She shuddered at the thought. “Akuma” didn't sound right to her soul.

Today seemed like a day to gather information. Thus it was time to use her favourite brother and sister duo. Juleka was a close friend and it helped that when she became Reflekta, everyone who became a copy had to do what she said. Luka, her brother, usually was alongside as Truth. Marinette had a rule about people knowing she was Mariposa, but she figured it would be too difficult for all of her Champions to keep the truth to themselves about their “role” in trying to bring down Monarch, so they were allowed to talk openly about it and their identities.

However, she also cared for them quite a bit and didn't want them to face any dangers alone. Thus, the team system. Juleka and Luka, Nino and Alya, Ivan and Kim. Her list went on. Some were powerful enough to fight by themselves, such as Rose when she became Princess Fragrance, but more or less it was so Marinette could gather information faster and to draw out Monarch on her terms. She had yet to get another Miraculous, but they were getting close. The last time she had used Juleka and Luka, she nearly had gotten the Tiger and Snake.

She blushed thinking back to that. So close, and yet so far. At the end of the battle she could feel Luka's powerful emotions of regret for letting down Mariposa, and just how much he was on her side. Luka was oh so special to her in particular, and how she wished she could tell him in real life how much he truly did mean to her.

“Are you thinking about him again, Master Marinette?” One of the first things she had told Nooroo was not to call her “Master”, but he still did it out of a sign of respect. She smiled and let out her fingers for her small friend to land on, nodding as she did so. “Yes. Is it wrong to think about him in that way, as the Champion of my heart?” Marinette had added on dramatic flourish, but it was the truth. Luka's kindness and support had been instrumental to her in the last while, and she felt at home whenever she got to visit with him.

“While I'm not very well-versed in matters of love, I would say that if this person makes you feel so strong, then he's worth having in your life. Maybe even as a partner!”

This caught Marinette completely off guard and she nearly stumbled backwards. Nooroo hovered in the air, laughing a bit before explaining himself. “I mean, Master, that when we get another Miraculous, that he would be worthy to be at your side so that you can build a team. Champions can only do so much, after all.”

Marinette agreed. Judging from the pictures inside of the book, the Peacock Miraculous should be the one to aim for, if that was to be the case. “Then we should set our sights on...Duusu?”

“Oh, that's splendid! Duusu and I work very well together.”

It was settled in her mind. Get Truth and Reflekta to bring her the Peacock, and then get Luka into the fold. No secrets between them, that wouldn't be right.

But two heroes, fighting for what they believed in strongly? Fighting side by side as friends, and maybe possibly more? It was too good to resist. She went over to her garden, and carefully selected two butterflies while giving a small nod to Nooroo in order to prepare himself.

“Nooroo, Wings Rise!”

[mimble-sparklepudding]

Wasn't sure if you're still taking the other asks and it looked like you did a lot I missed (sorry!).

Does Mimble have family? Who are they if so? If not why? Who is important to him? Does he have many friends? Who does he spend his time with? Or does he prefer to be alone?

I'm massively behind with Asks as usual, especially the Gpose ones, as I'm not very good at it, but hopefully people don't mind me taking a bit longer. I like getting asks and I'm always happy to get more, even if it's a slow process! At some point I might even attempt some "proper" writing about Mimble and his difficult relationship with his family...

Mimble does have a family, most of whom are alive and well and involved in various nefarious plots and schemes of which he strongly disapproves.

Following the death of his grandmother, to whom he was close, his mother became Matriarch of the family and began channeling her considerable influence and resources towards uncovering the lost secrets of Amdapor. Her ultimate plan is to use this knowledge to seize power in the Black Shroud and beyond, creating an idealised society where everyone knows their place and lives in accordance with her very rigid moral views - if they want to continue to live at all.

Needless to say, Mimble disagrees with his mother's schemes and has actively played a part in frustrating her plans on occasion, which hasn't done much for their relationship.

He set out on the path of adventuring, and eventually became the Warrior of Light, after being banished by his family for disagreeing with their ambitions. His Grandmother taught him that people can be encouraged to be good, but not compelled - and that the role of a White Mage was to lead by example, not drive change by force.

When she gave Mimble her Amdapori diamond ring, shortly before she died, this was seen as a tacit endorsement of his position, since, by rights it should have passed to his mother, as an heirloom of the family. Shortly afterwards this became the catalyst for his banishment, following a particularly unpleasant argument with his furious mother.

Mimble is close to the Scions, especially Tataru and Krile, and likes to keep in touch with various people he has met in his adventures. He often pops up unexpectedly in The Crystarium or Kugane for example, to catch up on gossip and check in on his friends.

However, he doesn't have a partner, possibly through disinclination towards such matters, or possibly because he sees himself as too different to other people to be suited to such things. There is also the possibility that one day his luck will run out and he won't come back from an adventure, so perhaps he doesn't want to have that on his conscience.

This is the kind of topic about which Mimble is quite guarded, as to talk about such personal things makes him uncomfortable - although he will easily disguise the fact with inconsequential chatter.

The truth is that what Mimble wants more than anything else is to belong. He is estranged from his family and his supposed homeland was flooded and destroyed centuries before he was born. Whilst he is proud to be seen as the Warrior of Light and to travel around offering assistance to others, he also feels slightly rootless, with little sense of place or connection. He has a few houses or apartments which he has either purchased or been gifted, but none have the sense of truly being "home".

He has friends in the Scions and others, but his role and status have historically set him apart and he still feels slightly on the periphery of other people's lives - as if he were looking in from the outside at them with their lovers and families and children.

He would find it hard to articulate this feeling, even if he ever wanted to express it (which he wouldn't), but underneath his cheery optimism there is the occasional twinge of loneliness and detachment. However, he tends to be very good at obscuring this and focusing his energies on helping others achieve such a sense of belonging, regardless (or perhaps because) of how much it eludes him personally.

[missezramay]

Hey there! I read your post on the Ted Lasso finally and you didn’t ask, I guess, but I want to share my opinion because I’m one of those that are not mad with the ending.

For me the show has always been about Ted affecting the people around him and how some of them change for what we understand as “the better” but not being ready to make those changes on himself. This time, going back home to his son, I think he did choose to make those changes. He’s kept up with therapy, he has been working through his feeling towards his dad and how that affected him as a father and by choosing to going back to Henry he’s making the difficult decision of being a dad even though he has stated that he feels he’s gonna fail at that because of his experience with his dad. That’s why I’m ok with the ending. He moved to London on a whim and was not sure if he was making the right decision, he was just running away from something that was making him feel uncomfortable. This time though, he’s sure of the decision he’s making, whatever the outcome is he’s doing it, he’s believing in himself as a father, he believes he deserves to be a good father.

As for his reaction to the rest of the people being emotional about him leaving, truth is he’s always been really loud and excitable but about thing relating to other people, not his personal feelings. To me he’s not acting any different and he receives what the others do or say to him, and he replies in his own way. Is not like he doesn’t say anything to the team, he does before the second half, he also talk to rebecca and hugs her before leaving. He answers in the way he shows his vulnerability, leaving “excited ted” on the side and actually being vulnerable.

The thing with saying no to his name appearing on the book, for me, is also amazing and really smart. If it says “The lasso way” it makes you think that what happened to the team was only because of Ted and for it to happen anywhere else you need Ted there. If it’s “The Richmond way” it includes everyone on that club, which is what happened here, everyone was important, everyone put a part of themselves in building this amazing team and club, and this way you’re saying it can happen anywhere people work together and are good to others. It’s the ultimate “believe” to anyone reading the book.

Rebecca asking him to stay, to me, is also based on fear, fear about what will happen if this person that has been here for me from the beginning goes away. How am I going to handle things without him. She even says it, if you stay I stay if you go I go. She need to make a decision about the club for herself, not about her ex-husband and not about the only head coach she has work with. About herself and what she wants. And she does. And she likes being a part of the club and decides to stay and keep making it better.

I’m sorry for the long message, and the typos (it’s late here 🤦🏼‍♀️) and I’m sure you’ll still feel cheated by the finale and I get it, it has happened to me with other shows, but I wanted to share my thoughts in case, I don’t know, it makes sense to someone… 🤷🏼‍♀️😅 as you can see I also have a lot of opinions and not a lot of people to share them with

Hi! Thanks for your message and willingness to share your thoughts. Kind of sad you're anon, because you're hiding from me. Please don't be scared. I don't bite, promise!

Now that I've had a week to process, I've gone through all stages of grief and can now think rationally. It was definitely rough those first few days 😅

While I'm not completely on your side yet, I respect your opinions and there's definitely a lot of truth to what you're saying. As I mentioned, it wasn't the worst episode ever, just not an ending that left me fully satisfied.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm more of a visual person and so my impressions of the episode were mostly how I personally interpreted what was shown, which I truly felt was lacking not just in this episode but throughout the season as whole. So many unnecessary scenes and lacklustre dialogue that could easily be fixed. Overall, I truly feel like that there was room for improvement.

I actually would love to respond to more of what you said but only if you DM me! Happy to discuss further.

[xuntamed]

@towercursed asked: Her eyes are wide with wonder as she peaks out from behind the curtains, gazing on Liyue’s preparations while a warmth builds in her chest. There’s so many lanterns being set up that she believes she might be home, watching them float into the sky while she creates stories for them. They had been a shining hope while she had been trapped, and she still views them as a guiding sign of fate, even when seeing them unlit in the middle of the day.

She’s so fascinated that she doesn’t hear someone walk in until the door shuts behind them. She jumps away from the window, hastily replacing the curtain so they’re both hidden from the world once more. It’s too late ; when she turns around, his amber eyes are on her and her sight drops to the floor with guilt. Her hands clasp behind her back while her bare feet shuffle awkwardly with the same demeanor a child caught stealing cookies. Now caught red handed doing exactly what he told her not to do, she has no room for excuses or explanations ; instead she mumbles an apology and slides away from the window. But her attention comes back to him quickly and she follows him, balancing on her tiptoes as she speaks.

“ What’s going on out there? ” She asks brightly, curiously leaning towards him. “ There’s lots of lanterns. ”

Trying to find more information on 'the girl in the fatui's grasp' was difficult in a regular day, but with the Lantern Rite grabbing hold of Liyue in a vice grip, it was bordering impossible. The energy in the city was shimmering with anticipation, everywhere one looked there was bustling and preparation for the days of celebration quickly approaching. Entering and exiting the library at the university was becoming less and less of a simple affair; many of his mentors called upon him for errands and jobs that took him away from his research. Usually he wouldn't mind, but when you were hiding a girl that for all intents and purposes shouldn't exist? You got a bit touchy at being pulled from his ultimate goal.

Still ... It was Lantern Rite.

He resigns himself on taking home several documents and books that he thinks will help; shoving it in his bag before he's finally allowed to leave for the evening, a bit later than he would of liked. With the sun going down, the harbor was truly coming alive; glowing with the lights of dozens upon dozens of lanterns intricately weaved across doorways and boats and skimming the water --- seeming to fill the very town of Liyue in it's warmth. It was one of the things he loved about the Lantern Rite, even when he was a boy brand new to the harbor and all of it's massiveness. How the world seemed almost ethereal -- as though Rex Lapis himself had come down to wash the region of Geo in his blessing.

Shaw pushes the door open, amber eyes immediately falling on the rapid fire movement in response; frown pulling sharply at his lips in immediate disapproval. Before leaving his small apartment, he always told Rapunzel the same thing -- stay away from the windows, do not answer the door, and do not go outside. With the fatui still actively looking for her and with how easily they seemed to move through the streets - especially with the Northland Bank right there - he didn't want to take any chances. And yet the curtains fluttered, skewed slightly from being pushed aside -- if her shuffling and downcast gaze wasn't guilt enough, the evidence was clear.

"--- How many times do I have to tell you? Stop looking out the window." There wasn't much of a bite to his tone, even as he dropped his bag and walked towards the window to steal a peak before fixing them properly. The electro bearer knew being cooped up couldn't of been easy, and he felt for her, but still --- "Unless you want people to start getting suspicious."

He moves away again, heading back to the door to scoop his bags up before going towards the tiny kitchen; setting them down as he unearthed several groceries he had picked up. ( They were running low and while Shaw was fine with picking up takeout when needed, he wanted to make sure the girl was eating okay ... ) Eyes flickered back to her as she spoke up, noting how she was chasing after him with excitement flickering in her eyes. Ah ... of course the glow from the lanterns would be the reason, huh?

"Ah -- It's almost Lantern Rite so all of Liyue Harbor is preparing for it." He tosses her an easy smile, pausing to lean against the counter with the edge pressing into the small of his back as he paused in putting things away to focus his attention onto her freckled face. "Lantern Rite is this celebration that starts on the first full moon of the year and it lasts like a week. It's fast approaching, so -- the town is getting prepared." He tosses her an apple to - hopefully - catch before he pushes himself off to put the rest of the meager groceries away while still speaking.

"According to history -- people of Liyue used Lanterns to guide soldiers back home after battle. But after the Archon War, they were used more so like a memorial ... until it evolved into a festival and sort of honors the late adeptis who died protecting the nation." Shaw pauses, turning to settle her with a look. " --- And you know the rules. So no sneaking out under any circumstances, freckles. Even for the festival."

[cruzisded]

A Culmination of Life

i needed somewhere to put this. somewhere where i know it can be out in the universe but never really seen by the world. this is the place i come to when im met with so many difficult thoughts and even more conflicted emotions. a place i can truly let loose the words i do not have the courage to speak. and to let my emotions run rampant as i gather them all in a single - or several - thoughts on paper. a lot has occurred since i last posted on here. many life changes. both professional and personal. professionally speaking, i think i was ready for change at the time. but to be utterly transparent, with reflection, i think i was ready to move on from my past life. i think from a personal viewpoint, i knew changing my professional life would ultimately affect life outside of that. i enjoyed what i did for work before now. it was fulfilling and i truly enjoyed it. but the environment was not good for me. it hadn't been for a really long time. but i kept that job bc it was sustaining me. it was survival over wants or desires. looking back now, on my birthday mind you, i realize just how negatively that atmosphere affected my life. i lost bonds with people i hold dear to my heart. i fell down a dark hole and lived there for so long that i lost sight of myself. who i am. what i stand for. i had pride in my work and i had pride in my work ethic. but it seemed like for months thats all i had pride in. it's all i could manage. my mental health was greatly affected by the work atmosphere and i think being in that dark hole became just a comfort at that point. i became complacent. not out of the want to be complacent, but bc my soul had been trapped in that hole for so long i never truly saw a way out. i lost the girl who was everything to me, i watched us fade away like a campfire drifting into the night as its embers pop and crackle every now and again. it's been 6 months and my heart still feels like at any moment it could shatter into millions of pieces again. i've gone through deep and thorough therapy and psychiatry over these last 6 months and have found myself. i have been able to work through many of the emotional turmoils i harbored with this loss. and yet, i still have that tiny voice in the back of my head telling me that i would still break. i guess that means i truly did feel something. a feeling like no other. i don't hate her, i don't dislike her. hell i don't even care who she sees or who she dates. at the end of the day, i wish her happiness. even at the cost of my own, i know, dark and unhealthy. but i have always been told growing up, if you love something. let it go. there's another part to that, but for my delulu ass i'll refrain from finishing it. i'm not unhappy with my life, it's solitary for sure. but in truth, i think in the last 3 months i have felt more like myself than i have in years. of course i still feel the pain, i still mourn, and i still have flashbacks like its second nature. but with all of that, i've been able to move forward with my life. i've got a new job that i truly feel like is my niche. i'm in my own apartment again -- starting over -- but who cares. i'm finally at a place in my life where i can see a near future. where i can go out and do things for myself i wasn't able to do before. i get to come home and feel peace once again. that's not to say i don't experience chaos and confusion. but for the most part, i'm at peace with the life i have right now. i was able to go out and get a tattoo i have wanted ever since i saw a picture of it. i was able to rekindle a relationship with my parents after having a really bad falling out with them. i was able to leave a horrible boss and a toxic atmosphere and finally grow into someone i can be proud of. i've been learning so many new things and been given a lot of responsibility. i have a roof over my head and food to eat (when i eat lmaoooo). i have the best cat i could ever ask for and he never fails to show me he loves me. as much as i don't want to be 25 today, i have a lot to be thankful for now that i am.

[notacoward]

A few nights later, after Severus had settled in (sort of), he was perched on the windowsill of his room, a cigarette dangling between his fingers. The smoke kept him grounded and kept his nerves at bay. He hadn't slept much, obviously, and had to report back to Voldemort a few times. He had spun this grand idea of spying on Dumbledore to him and he had jumped at the opportunity. Dumbledore had also mentioned something about a position at Hogwarts, but the details weren't quite worked out on that yet. He would have to run it by Voldemort when they were, but he doubted he'd say no. He was blinded by his obsession with power and winning.

He breathed out a shaky, smoke-filled sight. The crisp air was biting at his pale cheeks, causing color to hide behind them just a bit. This wasn't exactly the scenario he had in mind with this whole thing, but beggars couldn't be choosers. Honestly, he had half-expected Lily to just rip him to shreds. Granted, she could still do that, it had only been a few days, but he was happy to fly under her radar for a bit. Being around her was difficult.

Then, the sound of gentle knocking made him jump. He whipped around, then relaxed slightly --- slightly --- when he recognised Dorcas hovering in the doorway. "What is it?"

"Just checking on you," the brunette responded softly. "How are you getting on?" she asked, pulling her cardigan further around her. "May I come in?"

He nodded and waved the cigarette in an invitation for her to do as she liked. "Personally, I feel like I'm thriving here. Big house full of people who despise me and want to see my head on a spike. Really ideal," he said, bringing the cigarette back up to his lips. "You don't have to do this, you know. I'm a big boy."

"Clearly," Dorcas said, eyeing him closely. Almost like she was trying to figure him out. "I made dinner if you're hungry. The only other person in the house is Lily and she already ate. You should be safe to go unnoticed."

"I'm fine. Not hungry," he lied. "Why are you all of a sudden so concerned about me? I'm just the murderous, greasy freak, right? The psycho?"

"I've never once thought of you that way," Dorcas responded. She kept her distance, and seemed on edge, but she still held his stare. He could tell he made her uncomfortable, despite her words. "You need to keep your strength up. I'll make you a plate and put it in a container in the fridge. Get it if you want. If not, someone else will give it a home by morning," she said, shrugging her slender shoulders. "Dumbledore trusts you. If he says you belong here, then who am I to question him? I trust his judgment. So I trust you."

Severus scoffed at that. When he realised she wasn't joking, he suddenly felt... odd. Her naivety and trusting nature would ultimately get her killed. Not that he would ever purposefully harm Dorcas Meadowes, but someone would. He sighed and turned to look back out at the night sky. "Goodnight, Dorcas," he muttered. Hearing her retreat, his eyes fell closed. His head was killing him, probably from the hunger. Perhaps he would take her up on her offer. When he knew everyone in the house was well and truly asleep.

Lily opened her mouth to try and field off James before he could even get started, glad on the one hand his mood was far better than it had been before they left. They must have had some success with their mission, brief as it was, to put that light of victory back in his eyes. But she didn’t get a chance to even get a word out before he was shouting the house down, making her wince and share a knowing look with Marlene. All the rest of the house would have the same concerns to some extent, but…

The comments about Dumbledore were a bit much. James wouldn’t get much more than a slap on the wrist if that with how much money his father was sliding into their leaders pocket both for the war effort and otherwise - small as their numbers were, they needed funding. So she wasn’t worried about his consequences as much as his temper, especially since she had committed the cardinal sin of talking to the man. Pushing her annoyances far down beneath the surface as always she let out a slow breath and headed downstairs with the others, not sparing another glance inside the room.

It would be Severus’ job to prove his right to be here, along with Dumbledore. As much as she was frustrated with his attitude and the mystery surrounding why the hell he was here in the first place, there was a little part of her that hoped he would succeed. That this was really him *finally* seeing the error of his ways and trying to make amends for everything that had happened in the past. There had already been so many deaths.. she wanted to believe there was still some good in him, or Dumbledore wouldn’t have brought him under his wing like the rest of them.

They owed him so much, and Lily was eager to not only participate in this meeting but go out on missions as well and do her part for the betterment of their world. With that in mind she sat at the table with the others, giving Dorcas’ hand a squeeze under the table. Her two best friends had more reason than most to fear having a Death Eater in their midst, even a reforming one. She wasn’t going to let anything bad happened to any of them, not on her watch.

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which you’re harry’s assistant and harry needs to open his eyes.

a/n: ASSISANT!YN has finally arrived! this took me three weeks and a half to write, so please enjoy and kindly rb with feedback! i’ve had this concept in mind for SO long, and i’m proud of it! this is also inspired by my love for the barcelona pic, pictured on the left, that I think about on the daily along with some thoughts in a dressing room! also picture on the right at the final show is an aspect in the story as well!

also big thank you to my bestie @stylesloveclub for screaming and hyping this up for me while I rave about it, ily!

enjoy a long slowburn of 26.3k words of a friends to lovers fic that’s filled with angst and some smut! genuinely be ready for the angst hehe

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALKING ABOUT WANT YOU HERE! i’d love to know your thoughts and feedback!

pls rb to share! <3

16 December 2017

The smell of fresh flowers brought allergies to your senses as you shuffled and continuously rubbed your nose with a tissue. 

You were at the flower shop with two bouquets in your hands as you debated which bundle to get. You were given specific instructions to find a bouquet that’s full and big with the color white being the dominant color of the bouquet, and your options were a white orchid bunch, which weren’t your personal favorite, but it was one of the white bouquets, and your other option was a white lilac bouquet with a couple of white roses and baby’s breath around the large lilacs. 

“Do you need help choosing a bouquet?” The lady that was named Vicky asked. She had an expression of curiosity as she was probably wondering if you were going to buy anything since you’ve been standing in the corner for quite some time as you tried choosing which bouquet to get. 

“Oh, no. Thank you,” you replied back with a smile, and she nodded her head, walking away to help another customer, but you knew she was going to be back to ask you again in the next ten minutes if you don’t make your mind up right now. 

After another three minutes of deciding, you opted for the white lilac bouquet, and headed to the cashier. You gave the employee your number for rewards since you were at the flower shop quite a lot that you’ve managed to rack up some points in order to get a free bouquet. Once you paid and were on your way, your phone rang in your purse. Struggling to reach for it as you were holding the big bouquet and a few shopping bags, you moved to the side to set your paper bags down on the ground, and quickly grabbed your phone so it won’t go to voicemail. 

“Hey,” you answered cheerfully, knowing exactly who it was. 

“Hi there. Where are you?” The voice from the other end asked. 

“I just left the flower shop—should be there soon.” 

“Okay, perfect. Thank you for everything.” 

“Harry, you don’t need to thank me every single time,” you chuckled. “I’m your assistant. It’s my job.” 

“I know, I know. It’s just…I’m grateful for what you do,” he said thankfully. 

“I know, and I’m grateful for having this job and working for you. So, thank you also.” 

“Look who’s saying thank you now,” he joked, and you laughed. “But I’ll see you soon. Walk back safely, please,” he said, bidding you goodbye. 

“Always do. See you,” you hung up the phone, picking up the shopping bags, and walking towards Harry’s place. 

You’ve been Harry’s assistant for quite some time now; exactly two years. You started working for him when you were both twenty one, and he had just gone separate ways from the band. Harry was in the midst of writing his very first album and planning his first world tour as a solo artist in smaller theatre venues, and desperately needed an assistant to do some basic errands and remind him of his scheduling. Luckily as Glenne’s friend, you were in need of a job. You were fresh out of college as you had your bachelor’s in public relations, and being friends with someone who’s boyfriend is in the industry has its perks. 

Glenne had immediately recommended you once Jeff mentioned that Harry was looking for an assistant, and since Jeff had met you a handful of times, he told Glenne to call you in for an interview, but somewhat knowing that he was going to hire you already since Harry desperately needed one and you were a friend. 

When you walked into the interview, you were greeted by Jeff and Harry. That was your first time meeting Harry, and you were quite shocked that he was a real person. Of course you were a fan of him, and you were still surprised whenever Glenne talked about him, but when you saw him for the first time, you immediately thought that he was more gorgeous in reality. 

“So nice to meet you,” Harry said, shaking your ring filled hand. The coolness of his metal rings met your shaky hands, and sparks had immediately shocked your body. 

“Great to meet you too. I love your shirt,” you complimented. He was wearing a bright blue button down shirt with a cherry blossom print on it with a white t-shirt underneath along with some black skinny jeans and brown boots. 

“Thank you. Your trousers are very nice,” he said back, looking down at your pants. You were wearing burnt orange corduroy pants with a white semi turtleneck blouse with a pussybow tie on it, along with some black booties. “Actually, I love your whole outfit,” he added, and you chuckled, trying to hide your blush. 

Never in a million years would you have thought you would meet Harry, let alone Harry complimenting your entire outfit. You’re really living the dream. 

The interview went extremely well and only lasted about thirty minutes. The first ten minutes were some generic interview questions because they still had to keep it professional, but the last twenty minutes consisted of asking about your interests and simply getting to know you because you would spend most of your time with Harry. 

At the end of the interview, it was quite obvious Jeff and Harry knew they wanted to hire you. They loved your personality and how you made jokes, especially how you laughed at Harry’s jokes, which he thought was a very important aspect of being his assistant. 

Jeff exited the room, telling you he would be right back, but really he went into his office to grab some paperwork for you to sign. That left you and Harry in the conference room alone as you made conversation with him about university. You also told him that you were a fan of his, which you thought was a mistake to tell him because you’re sure he doesn’t want a crazy fan to be his assistant and practically have access to his personal life, but he said gratefully said thank you, and asking if you had a favorite song off new released album. Your favorites off his album were ‘Only Angel’ and ‘From the Dining Table.’ 

“Good picks,” he teased. 

“I would hope they’re good picks. It is your album,” you teased back, making him laugh, and he thought that it was a great choice making you his assistant. 

Once Jeff was back, he opened a folder, taking out various paperwork before Harry broke the news and told you that he’d love for you to be his assistant. You hadn’t expected to be hired on the spot, or be hired in general, but there you were, reading over the contracts and signing your name at the bottom of the last page along with the date. Jeff and Harry both shook your hands, telling you that they were excited for you to be along with the ride, and you told them that you were excited as well. 

You had thanked Glenne a million times for getting you an interview, and till this day, you always made sure to thank her because one mention of your name had gotten you an opportunity and a well paying job that you actually really loved. 

Harry also made the job bearable; not truly treating you as only an assistant, but rather a friend who helps a lot. Throughout the years of knowing each other, you and Harry had grown quite close. With always being around him, it was like hanging out with him, and you were thankful for that because you were sure no other job would feel like this. Harry also doesn’t give you difficult tasks either. He just has you go on coffee runs or run to the store to grab him something, but the most work you’ve had to do for him was to call several people on his guest list for a party he was hosting last year or write out his whole schedule for the entirety of the year. But nothing strenuous that would leave you frustrated with him. 

He would also make sure everything that he assigns you to do is okay for you to do, and you really appreciated that, but you would do anything for that man. 

You stood in front of Harry’s door, setting your bags down onto the floor before you reached into your purse to grab your keys where a spare key to Harry’s place hung on the metal ring. Before your hand could even find them, the door swung open revealing Harry smiling at you, looking impeccably sharp in his suit, which caused your heart to flutter. 

“Ah, thought I heard you. Here, let me help you,” he grabbed the shopping bags from the ground and the flowers from your hands, leaving you empty handed as you followed behind him into his home. “Thank you for getting these. I’ve just been so busy lately,” he thanked once again as he did on the phone. 

“Yeah, I know. Afterall, I am your assistant,” you teased, and he laughed as he studied the bouquet. 

“This is a lovely bouquet. Good pick,” he said, and your mind immediately goes back to when he said that to you for the first time at your interview. He said it quite often as you ultimately always make the decisions when he asks you to go out and grab something for him. 

“I thought so too. Also,” you opened one of the shopping bags, taking out the garment bag before unzipping the entire thing, “I got the exact dress you asked for, and get this: it was the last one in her size. Lucky man, you are, Harry Styles,” you handed him the Yves Saint Laurent black dress so he could get a better look at it, and he held it up, smiling. 

“It’s perfect. Thank you so much, angel,” he said, and you slightly blushed from the pet name that you would never get used to. 

Harry started calling you ‘angel’ when you were two months into working for him. With all the work you do for him, the pet name had slipped out, but it stuck once he kept calling you that. You loved it--a lot, and you hoped that one day, he wouldn’t forget to call you that because you would miss the simple name coming out of his mouth very much. Plus, it was fitting because your favorite song of his is ‘Only Angel.’

“Are you excited for tonight?” You asked. 

“Yeah, I am. It’s been a while since I’ve properly taken her out on a date, so I’m stoked for it. Pretty sure she is too.” Harry had a busy schedule. With being involved in interviews and promo for his upcoming tour, he was a busy man, which you knew of course. But it had affected his personal life greatly. 

“Well, I’m happy if you are. I hope she loves the dress,” you said painfully. 

“She will. She’s been talking about it for a while now. I just hope she didn’t go buying it without telling me because that would be really awkward once I tell her to go change into this,” he chuckled softly, and you joined him, agreeing. Harry quickly checked the time on his phone as it read 6:30 p.m, and he carefully placed the dress back into the garment bag and zipped it up. He grabbed the bouquet of flowers and his wallet on the counter. “I gotta go. Gonna be late if I don’t leave now. Lock up for me if you decide not to stay, yeah?” You nodded, walking him to the door as if it were your house. “Oh!” He turned back around because he had forgotten something, and you were holding up his keys already, and he chuckled. “Thanks again. You’re a lifesaver. Don’t know what I’d do without you,” he leaned in to give you a brief kiss to your cheek, which he has done often, and you waved at him. 

“Have fun tonight! Call me if you need anything,” you called out from his front door and he waved the flowers as a sign of goodbye before getting into his car. You watched him reverse out of his driveway and drive off to his girlfriend’s house. 

With a sigh, you closed the door, looking around at what needs to be done. Harry’s place was relatively clean. He just had some things laying around on random surfaces, and you think that was probably because he was in a hurry, so he just placed them on the nearest surface. If Harry were here, he would probably tell you that cleaning up his own mess was so unnecessary and that he doesn’t expect you to, but you know that he’s grateful you’re doing it anyways. 

You were silent as you tidied up his house, putting things back in his closet, and washing the bowl of yogurt and fruit he eats in the morning. It was an unnerving silence, and you just wanted to make any kind of noise just to fill the quietness that was slowly eating you away. You grabbed one of his shirts off the ground that slipped off the hanger, and you brought it up to your nose. His scent filling your senses as you closed your eyes, taking his smell in. You inhaled enough to practically take away his entire scent that was left on his shirt to fill the satisfaction in your body as you pretended he was close. 

As you did that, you uncontrollably sobbed into the material, letting out a heartbroken cry as you covered your face with his shirt. You slowly sank down to the floor, completely sitting down on the cold tiles. The sudden outbreak of your cries weren’t new; they had made their appearance when he left for dates or after he was done talking about someone he liked. When you would go out to the store and grab things he wants gifted. When he would call you angel while he was with the devil who was keeping you two apart. 

Once you calmed down a bit, you thought about how hugging his shirt was the closest you would get to him as you wished you were the lucky person he would be greeting them with his presence and a pretty batch of flowers, but he doesn’t even know your favorite flower.

It was the next day, and you woke up in the comfort of your own bed. 

You had taken an Uber home around ten p.m the night prior as you figured Harry was still on his date and perhaps wouldn’t be coming home till later. So, after watching a movie on his couch and having dinner, you turned off all of the lights and locked up as you headed to your place for what you hope is a relaxing night. 

A weird feeling had taken over you as you got ready for bed and it felt strange. You knew you weren’t yourself, and you hated that. The outburst of your crying was long forgotten as you climbed into bed and slept the day away. 

Once you had woken up from your deep slumber, your charged phone was ringing with your text tone. Groaning, you stretched your body from the tenseness from your sleep before you reached for your phone, unplugging the charger. You rubbed your eyes and blinked a bit as the brightness of your phone was straining to your vision. When your sight had cleared up, you were greeted with various messages from Jeff, asking if you had heard from Harry or if you’ve seen him. Going to Harry’s message, you hadn’t received anything, so you texted Jeff back and told him that he hadn’t contacted you and the last time you saw him was last night. Jeff immediately texted back, asking you if you could kindly go to his place and check if he was there, and you instantly said yes, a bit worried as Jeff seemed to be worried as well. 

You got out of bed for the day, not wanting to leave, but knowing you had responsibilities, you got ready for the day, doing your normal hygienic routine.

 It was Sunday, and usually on Sundays, you didn’t have much work to do since it was Harry’s day off as well. That is, if it’s not on tour, he gets a nice little day to himself. So, you chose a comfy outfit—one where you wouldn’t sweat so much as you walked to Harry’s house in the summer heat. You opted for a big t-shirt and pairing it with black biker shorts, and some sneakers. With one last look in the mirror, you were out the door and headed to Harry’s house. 

The day was beautiful as the sun was out and the sky was blue. Rarely any clouds to overcast the sun, and there was a slight breeze in the air, making the walk more bearable so you wouldn’t sweat all that much. 

Once you got to Harry’s house, fortunately, it wasn’t that far of a walk from where you live, you unlocked the door and walked in. 

“Harry?” You called out, looking around the living area. His shoes that he normally wears out are by the couch, so he should be somewhere. He might still be asleep, you think. You walk up the stairs to his room, knocking lightly before entering. And what you saw was something you wanted to erase from your memory forever. “Oh, fuck! Sorry!” You immediately slammed the door as you stood still outside of his room, in disbelief of what you just saw. 

You had just witnessed Brooke giving Harry head. They were both obviously naked, and her actions were on full display too because the bed faced the door and Brooke was on the side of Harry rather than in front of him as she had his dick down her throat, and of course, Harry had his head back, simply enjoying it because what guy wouldn’t. 

You heard shuffling through the door, and that took you out of your spaced out mind; quickly walked down the stairs and to the kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of water, feeling yourself get flustered from how bare Harry was in front of you. 

“God, does she ever learn how to fucking knock?” You heard Brooke faintly say as they both walked down the stairs, most likely thinking you didn’t hear, but you definitely did as her voice echoed throughout the whole fucking house. “Hey, girl,” she smiled once they both made it to the kitchen, and it was the fakest smile you’ve ever seen. No wonder she’s a good actress, you think. 

“Hi,” you said back, sipping your glass of water as you avoided eye contact with Harry. 

“Hi. What are you doing here? Do I have to be somewhere today?” He greeted, but immediately asked questions as if you were invading his privacy and day off. You looked at him very briefly, but remained your sight on his marble counter. 

“Uh, no. Jeff told me to come here and check on you; said that he hadn’t heard from you, so he was worried,” you explained, glancing up and Harry nodded. 

“Oh, okay. The last time I talked to him was before I left, but I hadn’t checked my phone since. Was it anything urgent?” You shook your head, realizing Jeff never really explained why he needed Harry, but you brushed it off. 

“He bought me this lovely bouquet of flowers and a pretty dress for dinner!” Yeah, I know. I was the one who got them, you thought. “Then he took me out on a boat ride, and we came back here-”

“Spare me the details? I already know all of this. I am his assistant afterall,” you said in a not so friendly tone, interrupting her and not wanting to know the details of what happens in his bedroom that entails Brooke. Usually, you weren’t so harsh to anyone, but you had a reason to be a bit stern with Brooke because she bites back. Unfortunately for her, you bite back even harder. 

Harry and Brooke have been dating for what seems like forever, but it’s really only been about six months. You tried being nice to her--you really tried, giving her your patience, but every time you see her, she would act cold towards you. Of course not in front of Harry because he thinks she’s an absolute saint, but she was the complete opposite of that. She was the devil and you were the angel. But of course, Harry doesn’t see that. 

Brooke gives you a harsh look, rolling her eyes a bit as Harry grabbed a glass of water for both of them. She turns to him, giving him a big smile before reaching up to kiss his lips, knowing exactly what she was doing in front of you. She then took a sip of her water, hugging Harry before she said, “I gotta go. Have a meeting at ten. I’ll call you?” Harry nodded, walking her to the front door, giving her one last kiss before she was off and Harry shut the door. You scoffed to yourself as you watched them, rolling your eyes in a way to attempt to hide your pain. 

Harry walked back to the kitchen, leaning on the counter, matching your stance. 

“I’m sorry you had to walk in on us-”

“Harry, it’s fine. I should’ve waited before I knocked,” you tried to get rid of the thought of seeing Brooke’s mouth on Harry. That was the first time you’ve walked in on him like that--fully bare on the bed while in action. Brooke was probably his first serious girlfriend in years, but he’s had some one night stands here and there, which he called you in the morning to pick him up. It wasn’t your preferred task to do because of the pain you would always feel when you would see him walk out of the house he just slept in, but then again, he is your boss. 

It was a bit quiet between you two, and Harry thinks that it’s because you practically saw his dick on full display. Partially it was for that reason, but it was also the way Brooke would treat you almost every time she sees you. Harry thinks back to when Brooke was in the house, and he could practically feel the anger from you when she was there. 

“You know, you could be a little nicer to her,” he stated, recalling what you said to Brooke and how you said it. 

“Well, she could be nicer to me in general,” you raised your brows, waiting for what he has to say about that. 

“She is nice to you. She always talks about wanting to invite you places, but she comes back sad because you’re always so quick to turn her down.”

“Brooke has never invited me anywhere. In fact, she’s never said a word to me unless you were there,” Except for that time a couple of months ago when you two had a little chat that ended up with you in tears at the end of the night. You laughed as you were in disbelief that she would actually lie to Harry that she actually wanted to be friends with you. 

“What? No. She’s always talking about wanting to get to know you more, but you just shut her down,” Harry’s brows furrowed, and you laughed even more. “W-What’s so funny?”

“Harry, you would know if she would have talked to me because I would’ve told you, but your girlfriend has never mentioned anything other than…” you trailed off as you stopped laughing, not wanting to overstep or overshare some of things that Brooke has really said to you. 

“Other than what?” He noticed that you cut yourself off. 

“Maybe ask her if you wanna know. I gotta get going,” you said, brushing it off as if it didn’t matter to you as you avoided his suspicious eyes while you headed for the door. “Make sure to call Jeff too. Oh, uh,” you turned around to find him following you to the front door, “Did you need me to do anything for you while I’m here?” You asked, still knowing that he was your boss. 

“Oh, hmm, no. Don’t think so. Enjoy your day,” he said, and you got off of his doorstep.

“Bye, H-,” you were interrupted by the sound of his door closing. You raised your brows in confusion as Harry never really interrupted you, especially not like that. He would usually wait for you to get in your car and pull out of the driveway, but he didn’t even wait for you whatsoever. 

You tried not to make it a big deal because you figured he was frustrated and probably a bit pissed that you weren’t so nice to Brooke, but how could you cover up her lie like that especially if she was so mean to you? You grew some thick skin when you first started working for Harry, and that meant that you learned how to stand up for yourself no matter who is talking to you, not even Harry’s girlfriend. 

You groaned; on the topic of Harry’s girlfriend: how could he possibly think she’s a nice person? She put up such an act in front of him, and whenever he’s not around, that act is the complete opposite. 

When will he realize what’s right in front of him? That’s been right in front of him for years now. You were tired of meeting his new love interests and picking him up from other people’s houses when he could be at yours without worrying about going anywhere or leaving because the morning would be spent cuddling and making breakfast together. Oh, how you envied the people he got to hold onto tight and freely kiss as you wished for those lips to land on you as he called you angel. 

The thought was driving you insane because you wouldn’t dare tell him whatsoever. Afterall, he was your boss and it would be awkward if he didn’t feel the same way. But you think he would never see you in that way, so you keep your mouth shut and hold your heart close as you just go with the flow despite the pain you feel. 

20 December 2017

Harry was laying on his back breathless as Brooke collapsed right next to him, deeply sighing as she tried catching her breath. 

“How does it get better every single time?” She giggled as she was in a post orgasmic state. She shifted so she was laying into Harry’s side, cuddling him as he wrapped his arm around her. He smiled, kissing the top of her head. Brooke’s hand roamed his chest as it was her way of showing that she would like to go for another round. 

She started kissing his chest and his neck, and Harry wasn’t opposed to the idea, but the sound of his phone vibrating on his bedside table had killed the mood. 

“Don’t answer it, please. Want you again,” she sat up slightly and buried her head more into his neck as she kissed and sucked his skin. He was so close to listening to her, trying to block out the sound of his phone, but as it kept vibrating, he realized he couldn’t ignore it. 

“M’sorry,” he sat up causing Brooke to pull away as she groaned, laying on her side of the bed. Harry picked up his phone and Brooke had a little peek at who was texting him. He had changed your contact name from your name to your nickname ever since he started calling you ‘angel,’ and it’s been the same ever since. He loved it; it added a little flare and he would always smile when he sees your contact name pop up on his phone. 

“Does she always have to make an appearance at the worst times? Or in general?” She asked, but the last part was definitely muttered under her breath as Harry was too focused on reading your texts. Harry had sent out a text  a few hours after you left on Sunday, saying that he was sorry for being rude and practically slamming the door on you. You had texted back saying that it was okay, and that you were sorry for being rude to him too. There were no rude remarks towards him, but your tone had said otherwise, and you knew that you could’ve handled that conversation better. 

My Angel: Hi, H. I was wondering if you wanted to do some suit fittings before you leave to go back home or after? Let me know so I can tell Lambert and Harris. 

“Sorry. She’s just wondering if I’m available to do some suit fittings for the upcoming tour,” he said to Brooke before texting you back. 

H: Preferably after the holidays. We’ll do it right at the beginning of January. 

“Isn’t she your assistant? Why doesn’t she just schedule it already?” She asked cluelessly. 

It wasn’t like Brooke was stupid. No, she was smart. But there were some things that didn't click for her, which makes Harry and anyone have to explain things twice. She would usually have her assistant do everything for her without confirmation, and Brooke would just go with it.

“Well, I still have to approve of it, love. Can’t just book me without me knowing,” he chuckled slightly. 

My Angel: Okay, perfect. I scheduled the fitting for January 4th. That’s okay right? I know you’ll be back before New Years, so I just wanna make sure. 

He always loved how you were so cautious about everything. Sure, he wanted you to let loose sometimes and not take everything so seriously, but you two were a perfect team because you need to keep him in check sometimes, but you did let loose and have fun off the clock. 

H: Yeah, should be good. Thank you, angel. xx

My Angel: That’s what I’m here for! You don’t have anything scheduled for tomorrow before you leave. Do you wanna get some coffee before your flight? Say at 8?

He smiled down at your text. Brooke noticed, which made her furrow her eyebrows in confusion, so she started rubbing his back and his stomach as she tried getting a look at his text messages. Once she saw a bit of it, she climbed on Harry’s lap. 

“Do you want to get lunch tomorrow before you leave? I’m gonna miss you,” she pouted slightly, and Harry had only glanced up at her very briefly before looking back down at his phone as he was in the middle of responding to your question. 

H: Sure! That’d be great. The usual spot?

My Angel: Yes, the usual :) see you then, H! 

He grinned before locking his phone and placing it back on the bedside table. He looked up at Brooke who was impatiently waiting for him to give her attention as she had her arms crossed. 

“Well?” 

“Oh, sorry I’m actually getting coffee with Y/N,” he frowned slightly, somewhat feeling bad rejecting her offer. 

“You don’t wanna see me before you leave?” She asked in an annoyed tone, getting off his lap to sit beside him on the bed. 

“W-What?” He said in disbelief. “You’ve been sleeping over since Saturday. That’s why we planned for you to stay here until I leave right?” He stated obviously. They clearly talked about her sleeping over after their date on Saturday until he leaves to go back home for the holidays. So, he’s wondering if she’s missed something or she’s just acting like this to get a rise out of him. 

“You think four days is enough? You’re gonna be gone for two weeks until I have to see you again, and you would rather spend your time-” 

“Four days is a really long time! And I’m seeing you for New Years. I don’t understand where this is coming from,” Harry got off the bed and pulled on his boxers. 

“I’m just saying…she’s already your assistant. Why do you have to spend so much time with her?” Brooke asked as she got under the covers as she watched Harry pull on his sweatpants. 

“She’s also my best friend. Where is all of this coming from? Are you jealous or what?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes, and Harry furrowed his brows. 

“Please. Like I could ever be jealous of her. All I’m saying is that I just want to spend all the time I can get before you leave, or I can go with you back home…” she suggested, and Harry perked up. 

“What? You want to come with me?” She nodded eagerly as she smiled. 

“Yeah, why not? We can spend the holidays together, and it’ll be fun. What do you say?” She crawled over to the edge of the bed where Harry was standing, and she sat on her knees as she looked up. 

They’ve been dating for six months, and Harry hadn’t introduced her to his family. It wasn’t like he didn’t like her or he was embarrassed that he’s dating her, but that was a really big commitment that needed a lot of thought put into it. Meeting the family is just a big step for him, and although his family has met his previous partners, that was when they were still friends and not together. But with Brooke, it all happened so fast that his family had never met her when they were friends or hooking up. They obviously know he’s dating someone, but to bring them home? Especially on Christmas? He wasn’t ready for that. 

“Maybe some other time. I’ll talk to them to see if they want to come over here for my birthday or something,” he rejected her suggestion. Home was just something so vulnerable to him that he wouldn’t just bring anyone. 

Brooke sighed deeply, “Okay, I’ll hold you to that,” she said, impatient that she hasn’t met his family yet, but he’s met hers. “How about I come with you tomorrow morning to get coffee?” She looked at him as she pleaded with her eyes. 

He knew that you wanted to spend time with him before the holidays and he wanted to as well. But Brooke obviously wanted to see you as much as possible now that he’s denied her suggestion of coming home with him, but she had been sleeping over for the past four days, which Harry thinks is enough time. 

“I’m sorry, but no,” he said as it came out more like a question as he didn’t want to seem rude by saying no to her. Throughout the months of dating Brooke, he learned that she hates when people say no. Obviously, it’s fine when he says no to sex, but he could tell that it really frustrates her. “I haven’t seen her in a few days because I’ve been with you the whole time, so I think it’ll be good to catch up with her before I leave,” he smiled lightly, trying to make light of the room. 

“Sure. Have fun,” she said sarcastically before heading to the restroom. 

Harry sighed, grabbing his duffel bag from the closet before he started packing. He was simply just excited to see you tomorrow and his family over the holidays. 

21 December 2017

You waved over at Harry once you saw him standing at the entrance of the coffee shop. Harry walked over to you with a beaming grin as he looked incredibly handsome. He wore black circular sunglasses that sat on his nose, a blue hawaiian shirt with a gray t-shirt underneath as a brown coat was thrown over his body. He wore his famous black skinny jeans and his famous brown Yves Saint Laurent boots that you know he has a whole collection of. His hair looked amazing as he recently cut it a week ago, and it’s starting to grow out a bit as the ends of his hair started to curl. 

As he was close enough, you snapped yourself out of your trance of checking him out before you stood up, giving each other a hug and a cheek to cheek kiss. 

“How are you, angel?” He asked, taking his coat off before taking a seat, and setting his coat down on the chair next to him. 

“I’m good. I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and ordered for us. Should be out soon.” You had gotten Harry an iced black coffee, and despite the weather, he was always up for an iced beverage, especially when it came to his coffee; and you had ordered him a coffee cake--the coffee house’s specialty. 

“Of course not. Thank you. So, you’re going back home right?” He asked, placing his arms on the table. Right as he asked, the drinks and food had arrived and you waited for the barista to leave before you answered. 

“I might,” you said, taking a sip from the coffee mug. 

“What do you mean you might? Told me that you were going,” he furrowed his brows in confusion because you two had just had this conversation the other week, and you were excited to go back home. 

Home was in Oregon for you, and you moved out when you were eighteen to go to school in New York. It had always been your dream of moving to the big city, and although you loved Oregon, New York had made space for you to have a home as well. 

“I mean, I was. But you know how I’m saving to buy a house right? Well, flights are expensive, especially when it’s around this time,” you explained. 

“I can always-” 

“No, no. Before you go saying that you’re going to buy me a ticket, don’t even waste your breath because I’m not taking it,” you shook your head, and Harry chuckled. 

“C’mon, please? I know how excited you were to go back home. Don’t want you to be alone during the holidays,” he pouted as he cut into his coffee cake. 

“I told mom the situation, so they might come here for a change, but not definite yet--was just a suggestion. But honestly, I don’t think they will because it might be too late and all that, y’know how they are,” you chuckled, knowing how late your family will be if things happen last minute. “Don’t worry though. Glenne asked if I could take care of Penny, and I said yes if I’m not going home,” you said, smiling at the thought of the shih tzu that Glenne and Jeff own. 

“I mean, you can always come home with me,” he put it out there, and your eyes perked up. 

“W-What? No. I can’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s not like I would be buying you a plane ticket either. We’ll be using the jet,” he smiled lightly as if there were no meaning behind his words. 

“God, you just don’t know how rich you are--saying shit about your own fucking jet,” you teased, and he laughed loudly. 

“But really. Think about it. Mum would love to see you again and I know Gems has so much to catch you up on,” he said, taking a sip from his straw. 

You had met Anne and Gemma several times as they often visited sometimes or you would fly home with Harry and hang out with them while he’s working. They were a lovely family, if not, your second family, you would say. They were the kindest people you’ve ever met, and you’re so grateful that Harry was raised by great people surrounding him. 

“Really, H. Thank you, but I’m going to pass that up. I’ll probably just suck it up and buy a plane ticket,” you scoffed slightly at your indecisiveness. 

“Alright. Well, if you change your mind, which you have practically a day to figure it out, let me know and I’ll see what I could do with the jet going back here,” he said with a smile, wanting you to have choices rather than being stuck at home all alone during the holidays. 

“Thank you, Harry. I appreciate it.” 

The rest of the hours spent at the coffee spot was filled with conversation and laughter. Luckily, Brooke wasn’t one of the topics during your time together, and you were glad for it. Harry was also happy you didn’t mention Brooke either because he just wanted his mind to rest during his vacation, and not to say that he doesn’t like her, but it can be a bit stressful to communicate things with sometimes. 

“Oh, you have to head to the airport already,” you said, looking at your phone and realizing that he has about two hours to head to the airport. “Do you have everything packed?” You asked as you two stood up from your seats and put your coats on. Harry put on his sunglasses, hopefully a way to avoid the curious eye of the public. Luckily when you two were having coffee, no one approached him, but there were some looks made towards you two, but none of them walked up to the table. 

“Yeah, you have my shirts right?” 

“Yup. They’re in my car.” Once you two made it outside, you were parked on the curb and Harry’s car was about three cars behind you. You took Harry’s shirts out from the backseat that were folded very nicely and ironed. You had borrowed a couple of shirts from him when you would sleepover and had forgotten to give them back to him, but Harry said it was fine for you to keep until he needed them. “Alright, here you go. Don’t need anything else before you leave right?” 

“Actually, if you’re not busy doing anything, do you want to drop me off at the airport? I can call ahead of time and tell them that my driver isn’t going to take me, so we have access to the back,” he said with hopeful eyes. 

“Oh okay, sure,” you smiled softly. 

“Great,” he gave you a big smile before looking down at his phone, and you assumed he was texting Kyle, his driver, that he didn’t need to pick him up anymore. “Okay, I’ll see you at my place? I just have to get my shit.” 

“Okay, race you there! Wait, no, just kidding. Really, drive safe,” you chuckled, and Harry laughed. 

You met Harry at his house which was only about ten minutes from the coffee shop. His car was already in the driveway when you had pulled up, and you just decided to wait outside by your car for him, popping open the trunk. A few minutes later, Harry came out with his duffel bag, locking the door behind him. 

He put his stuff in the trunk before hopping into the passenger seat of your car, and you were off to the airport. 

Traffic was a bit heavy, but you made it just in time for Harry to check in and get settled without having to worry if he was late or not. You had pulled into an underground garage of the airport, and got out of the car as Harry got his stuff out from the trunk. 

“Guess I’ll see you on New Years?” You stood in front of Harry behind your car. He nodded before taking you into your arms. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Let me know if you’re going back home or if you decide to join us,” he said into your ear as he hugged you tightly around your waist. Your arms were looped around his shoulders, giving him a warm squeeze. 

“I will. Have a safe flight, and text me when you land,” you said back into his ear. 

“Always do.” 

Both of you pulled away, but his touch had still lingered on your arm; raking his hand slowly down your arm as he walked away, and you had wished you weren’t wearing a coat with many layers underneath just so you could feel his hand on your bare skin. 

“Don’t miss me too much,” you teased. Harry turned around and smirked; the one that made your stomach do flips. 

“You know I will. Gonna miss me too?” He asked in return. 

“Always do, H. Always do,” you blew a kiss at him, and he caught it, placing his hand on his heart before walking through the doors. 

You sighed as you got into your car before pulling out of the garage and driving back home. 

It may seem a little peculiar on how you two ask towards one another despite him having a girlfriend, but it’s always been like that between you two. It all started when you were at a party right beside Harry, and a few friends of his went up to you two and asked when you two were going to get together. At that time, your heart stopped because you had just figured out that you had feelings for him. But Harry responded with “until she lets me,” and it was meant to tease you, but it had left you in confusion. 

Since then, you two would tease each other and somewhat act like you were together, but it had died down a tad bit ever since he’s gotten a girlfriend. And although Harry is a natural charmer, you two were best friends, so there was a tad bit platonic flirting between you two. 

But you wished that he would see past the best friend line and assistant line. 

31 December 2017 

The cold air from the room had made goosebumps rise onto your skin, although it seemed warm in the room from the crowd that was gathering rather quickly while the music started becoming louder, and chatter and laughs filled the room. 

You were talking with Glenne and observing the people around you at the same time; everyone was wearing their best attire for the new year, and you were as well. You were wearing a red silk dress that hugged you just right as the material in the back dropped to your mid back, showing almost the entirety of your back. You wore nude four inch heels, feeling like the height of your shoe was enough so you weren’t completely struggling to walk throughout the night. And your makeup was sparkling with gold colored eyeshadow and a red lip. You looked hot, and you knew it. 

One of Jeff’s friends had booked a hotel room on the top floor, literally right next to the ball drop, so everyone can just look out the window rather than going outside in the freezing weather. 

It was nice to dress up after being cozied up throughout Christmas. You had decided to go back home after all, buying your plane ticket right when you got home from dropping Harry off at the airport. It was a bit pricey because of the fact that you were buying the ticket a day before the scheduled time the flight is supposed to take off, and considering that it was the holiday season as well. But you had gotten a Christmas bonus unexpectedly, and everything worked out. 

You enjoyed your time with your family and getting to spend a week with them before you had to leave for New York again for New Years. 

You also hadn’t expected to receive a gift from Harry on Christmas morning when your mom was passing gifts out. With a confused expression, you took the big box from your mom’s hands that was wrapped in red and white festive wrapping paper with a bow on it. Once you opened it, you had softly gasped when you saw the items inside; it was all of your favorite things, including some extra items Harry had picked out for himself. He had gotten you a much bigger planner, for the next year, that will help for work, and you smiled, knowing that he had remembered you talking about how much you wanted the planner so badly. The box also contained some of your favorite snacks, little Knick knacks that reminded him of you, and a velvet rectangle box that held a small diamond pendant attached to a thin gold chain. 

It was absolutely stunning, and Harry must’ve spent a lot on it, but he didn’t mind. He thought it was going to look so beautiful on you, and it made you feel special that you were wearing something so meaningful from someone that means so much to you. 

The gold chain sat perfectly on your collarbones, and you hadn’t taken it off ever since you received it; only when you showered, but you put it right back on after. 

The volume of the room had increased, and you turned your head towards the door and found Harry walking in with a bright smile on his face, and of course, Brooke right alongside him with her arm looped with his. 

They looked absolutely stunning together as they walked inside the building as they greeted everyone with big smiles. They radiated perfection and luxury as everyone’s eyes were on them as if they were a piece of art hung up high in the gallery--worthy enough to be looked at. But your eyes were placed on one person in the room, and you so wished you were right beside him instead of her. 

The couple had made their way through the crowd when Harry spotted Jeff in the corner. With Harry leading the two of them with their hands interlocked together, they greeted Jeff and Glenne before Harry let go of Brooke’s hand to give you a hug. 

“Hey, angel,” he smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he slightly picked you up off the ground. His hands met the exposed skin of your back and he felt goosebumps rise onto your skin as his cool metal rings touched your skin. 

“Hi, H. How are you?” You asked against his ear and he set you down on your feet before pulling away. 

“Good, good. Missed you.” 

You blushed, “Miss you too. Also, thank you again for your present, it was so thoughtful and lovely.” 

“I’m so happy you liked it. Thank you for yours as well. I love it a lot,” he beamed as he looked down at you. You had given Harry three presents. The first one being a black soft leather journal with his initials engraved in the middle and spine of the journal in gold. The second gift was a manicure set because he recently started to paint his nails, so you wanted him to have all the tools and colors he needed. The third gift was a photo album of his success (you also threw in a couple of you and him). You told him that he can look at it anytime he wants, but it’s just a reminder of how proud you are of him and how far he’s gone; and you would be adding more in the future. It had made him tear up a bit as he found the gifts to be so sweet and sentimental of you. 

“Hi, Brooke,” you greeted with a small smile, and you saw her face beam as she hugged you, but you knew that it was definitely a fake one to put up an act in front of her boyfriend. 

“How are you, girl?! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” She yelled over the loud music. 

“Good, thanks. How are you?” 

“Great! Did you see what Harry got me for Christmas?” She waved her arm out to show you the diamond bracelet that sat on her wrist. It was very beautiful, you had to admit. It was very Brooke, and you were glad Harry didn’t ask you for any help with trying to find her a Christmas present. 

“I’m gonna get another drink,” you excused yourself, not really wanting to be around her much longer as she smirked and tried to flaunt her gift in your face. But you didn’t let it get to you because you truly loved the gifts Harry had gotten you, and it made it extra special because he put so much thought into it. 

You made your way to the bar, downing the remains of your drink before asking the cute bartender for another one. 

“Having fun?” He asked with a smile as he set your drink down onto a black square napkin. 

“Sure, let’s just say that,” you chuckled sarcastically before throwing your head back to take the entire cup of alcohol down your throat. 

“Thanks,” you set the glass down before walking away. 

You wanted to go back to where Glenne was standing, but you had bumped into some friends that you had met through Jeff on your way, so you had to catch up with them and tell them everything that’s going on with you after they told you their whole life story. 

The hours to the new year went by pretty quickly. You ended up hanging out with a few friends and going outside with them to have a smoke. The alcohol and weed had eased you, and you actually had a really fun time with them. The idea of Brooke clinging onto Harry had left your mind and you loosened up, smiling and dancing along with drinking. 

There were five minutes left until midnight, and everyone was gathered next to the window that overlooked Times Square. The volume in the room was loud as everyone screamed and laughed—excited for the new year. 

You were standing next to Harry, and of course Brooke on the other side of him. Glenne and Jeff were on the left of Brooke, and both of the couples had their arms around each other as the only thing you were holding was a glass of tequila as you didn’t have anyone to celebrate the new year with. 

“Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!” Everyone chanted, and you chuckled, laughing at your loneliness when there were so many people around you. Your eyes watered up, crossing your arms as you looked at the shining lights through the window.

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” The sounds of cheers and party horns erupted in the room as people took each other against their lips. 

You slightly glanced right next to you and saw Harry and Brooke kissing lovingly as she smiled into the kiss, along with Jeff and Glenne. 

You turned away, looking out at the window as you raised your glass. “Cheers,” you whispered to yourself before throwing your head back and consuming your tequila shot. 

Everyone was so consumed in one another that nobody noticed the tears streaming down your face as the loneliness you had felt physically and mentally took over. 

4 January 2018 

Harry was standing on the elevated box in front of a mirror. He was wearing a sparkly pink suit with gold lining on the seams, along with a gold shirt with a pussybow. Harry Lambert was behind up, straightening out the jacket. 

You had sat on the couch of the large private dressing room as you observed. Harry looked at you through the mirror, giving you no emotion. You smiled, but he didn’t smile back; only looking away and taking his attention on the suit. You furrowed your brow, confused as to why he was looking at you like that and so coldly. 

You stood up, walking over to him. “It looks great, H.” 

“Thanks,” he said quickly. 

“Think you can dance in it?” You teased as you smirked, trying to add some sort of lightness to see if his cold looks were accidental. 

“Pretty sure,” his tone was very short, and your smirk fell. 

“Wait right here. Just need to get something really quick for the pants,” Harry Lambert said before walking out of the dressing room. 

There was a moment of silence, and Harry pulled on the suit jacket so it sits nicely on him. By this point, he would’ve asked for your opinion and for some reassurance because sometimes he needs those extra words that tell him it doesn’t look too much or weird on him. But you got silence. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked warily. 

“Yeah.” 

“You sure?” You still weren’t convinced enough. 

“Yes, now can you please stop asking me? Fuck,” He rolled his eyes, voice slightly raised. 

“What is your problem?” Your brows furrowed. 

“What my problem is, is that you won’t leave me the fuck alone nor would you stop talking. I’m just trying to do some fittings, but you wouldn’t stop talking,” he huffed. He didn’t even turn around, just kept looking at himself in the mirror. 

You scoffed, grabbing your bag from off the couch. “Don’t fucking ask me to come with you if you didn’t want me here.” You headed for the exit before turning around at the last second. “And next time, look me in the eye and tell me that shit,” you said before you completely exit the building and head towards your apartment. 

You’ve never been so annoyed before, and that says a lot because you deal with a lot of people from the industry and Brooke. You didn’t know what came over him because he’s never talked to you like that nor has he raised his voice at you. With utter confusion, you sat on your couch, taking off your shoes for the day since you didn’t have any other work to do for the day, and you thought going with him to his fitting was a waste of time if he was going to act all pissy on you. 

Only moments later, you heard a knock on your door, and you immediately knew it was Harry probably coming by to tell you that he was sorry and he didn’t mean to say those words. But words are words and despite not meaning to say them, they still came out meaning that he was thinking it. But since this was Harry, the kindest human you’ve ever met, you opened the door because he’s your best friend and you deserve an apology. 

Huffing, you opened the door to find Harry standing on your doorstep with his head down and a slight frown to his face. Without saying anything, you moved to the side, opening the door wider for him to walk through, which he does. You walk over to the couch and take a seat; Harry sitting on the other side. The fact that you weren’t saying anything was killing him, but he doesn’t blame you. You crossed your arms as you waited for him to say something, and he inhaled deeply before he spoke. 

“I’m sorry for what I said back there. I shouldn’t have taken all my anger out on you because you don’t deserve that whatsoever. You were just trying to make sure I was okay, and I really appreciate that,” he resented himself for acting that way towards you. His eyes were red and he looked quite sad, and you want to know what made him originally feel this way. 

“Why were you so mad to begin with?” You asked curiously, and he sighed as you brushed away his apology. 

“Brooke and I have been fighting--ever since New Years. She claimed that I was always hanging out with you and that I left her at the party to be with you, but that’s not true right? I feel like I barely saw you during the party,” his brows furrowed in confusion. He was right; you barely even hung out with him during New Years because you were some other friends, and the only time you really spoke to him was when he arrived and after the countdown, but that was it. 

“Why is she so…” you trailed off, not wanting to sound so offensive towards his girlfriend. 

“You can say it.” 

“Possessive? Obsessive? Threatened by me? I mean I get that you’re her boyfriend, but I haven’t done anything to trigger that, have I?” You tilted your head as if you were thinking. You were never the one to steal someone’s boyfriend because that wasn’t any of your business; no matter how much you liked that person. But your attitude towards Harry was very much best friend-like. You miss him on days when you don’t see him, you give him big hugs when you reunite, you give each other friendly kisses on the cheek in a way to say ‘thanks,’ but it was never meant to steal him away from her. 

“No, you haven’t. I don’t know… I feel like she’s always had this problem with you because you’re my best friend, but also assistant--the closest person to me. I always tell her that she has nothing to worry about, but she doesn’t trust me for some reason.” 

“I’m sorry, H,” you said, placing your hand on his knee in a way to comfort him. He placed his hand right over yours in a way to say ‘thank you for understanding.’ 

“I should be the one apologizing. You didn’t do anything wrong. I really am sorry for how coldly I acted towards you,” he softly smiled, and you gave him one back. 

“It’s okay. Was it unnecessary? Yes. But it was one time,” you forgave him. 

“You’re the best. But I should get going to finish up the fittings,” he said, standing up from the couch. You stood up, walking him to the door. “I’ll see you?” You nodded, giving him a big hug. He embraced you with both arms as he squeezed tightly before he walked out the door. You figured there was no point in going with him since he only has a couple of suits to try on, so you stayed back. 

About thirty minutes later, your phone vibrated. Seeing Harry’s contact name, you smiled to yourself. 

H: Attachment: 2 images 

How do these look?

You chuckled. He had sent you mirror pictures, holding up a peace sign as he was in a sparkly blue suit. 

My Angel: You look like Cinderella lmao

I love it!

Harry smiled. He was about to text you some silly joke about being Prince Charming while you’re the princess, but he heard a voice at the door, making him stop what he was doing. 

“Hey, babe!” Harry looked up and saw Brooke walk in. His eyes widened as he turned around, and she gave him a kiss. 

“W-What are you doing here?” He asked, confused. 

“Jeff said you’d be here, so I decided to surprise you!” She said cheerfully, holding his hands. 

“O-Oh, I’m very surprised,” he chuckled nervously. He didn’t really know why he was nervous, but possibly the fact that if he hadn’t snapped at you, then you would still be in the room, which would have raised questions and yet another argument with Brooke. 

“I figured after you’re finished, we could get an early dinner and you could come back to my place?” She suggested. “Think we need to talk about some things.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good. I have about two more suits, so you can wait outside-”

“Silly! No, I’ll wait here,” she took a seat on the couch you were just sitting on thirty minutes ago. He nodded without saying anything before he proceeded on to his next suit. 

You looked down at your phone on Harry’s message thread, waiting for his reply. You saw the text bubbles pop up and you smiled, waiting for him to say some corny joke, but they went away. You waited for a moment, so they could pop back up, but they didn’t. So, you shrugged, locking your phone, and wondering if he got caught up in something, so he couldn’t reply. 

1 February 2018

It was Harry’s birthday and the crowd was rolling in. 

He decided he wanted to spend his birthday in Los Angeles since most of his friends are there anyways. Plus, it’s a small get together before the tour starts next month and then he would be all over the place. He wanted a semi small party at his house, nothing too crazy, he just wanted everyone he cares about at the party. Anne and Gemma flew in the day before to join in on the fun, and you were excited to see them because you missed them like crazy. 

“Angel! This party is great! Thank you for keeping it so nice and small,” Harry said, giving you a hug. He also handed you your favorite drink, which is a whiskey on the rocks. 

“I’m happy you like it, birthday boy,” you smiled as you watched everyone gather into his Malibu house. There were about thirty people in total that were on the guest list, only adding people Harry was close to.

“Ah, there’s mum and Gem. Let’s say hi,” he told you, and you excitedly smiled, walking towards the door. 

“Mum!” Harry called out, and Anne’s eyes lightened up. 

“Oh, my baby! Happy birthday, my love,” she kissed his cheeks as he hugged her. 

“Hi, Gems,” he greeted his sister, also giving her a hug. 

“Happy birthday baby brother. One more year and you’ll be a quarter of a century,” she joked, and Harry chuckled. 

“Ha ha, very funny. I’m so happy you guys are-” 

“Y/N? Is that you? Oh my god, come here you!” Anne interrupted Harry once she saw you. Her eyes widened and she was smiling like crazy as you walked towards her, giving her a lovely hug. “Oh, darling. It’s been a while since I saw you!” 

“Yeah, it really has been. You both still look so amazing,” you said, giving Gemma a hug. 

“Please, you’re too sweet to us. How have you been? Don’t want to quit just yet because of this one?” Anne joked, nudging Harry as he playfully rolled his eyes. 

“Heyyy,” his brows furrowed, and Anne pinched his cheek. 

“I’ve been good. And not yet. Give me about five months and we’ll get back to this conversation,” you joked back, looking at Harry to see him frowning. You looped your arm around his waist, giving him a hug, and he stopped frowning; his face turning into a small smirk. 

“Let’s definitely catch up later. I’m going to say hi to Jeff and Glenne. Be right back,” Anne said before walking through the crowd, Gemma following her. 

You and Harry were alone again as you two sipped on your drinks. Some people said hi to them, but not making conversation for too long as they wanted to get another drink or food. 

“Is Brooke here? Haven’t seen her,” you asked curiously. Harry’s face dropped, and you looked at him confusingly. 

“Oh, fuck,” he pinched the top of his nose as he looked down, shaking his head. 

“What?” 

“I totally forgot she was coming,” he said, and you fought the urge to laugh. 

“How did you forget your own girlfriend?” 

“I don’t know--I was just so focused on the tour and this party that it slipped my mind that she was coming,” he sighed. 

“Oh okay. What’s so bad about her being here?” You wondered. 

“That means she’s gonna meet mum and Gem.” Your mouth formed an ‘o’ as if realization struck you, and Harry nodded his head as if he was saying ‘yeah, that’s why.’ 

“Better prepare for that because I could already hear her laugh,” you placed your hand on his shoulder, patting it. Harry took a deep breath and downed the rest of his drink before he walked over to the entrance. You chuckled as he did so as you found it amusing that he had to do that to deal with her. 

After you heard her squeal, which meant that Harry had gone up to her already. You started walking towards the entrance door, and you saw them hugging; she then started jumping and kissing him, whispering into his ear and biting her lip as he gave her a smirk. 

As you watched from the sidelines, your heart started to ache. You wished that it was you instead of her. You wished you could whisper all things sweet and dirty into his ear as he looked at you with a smirk before biting his lip. You wanted him to give you the same smile he gave her, although you were starting to see less and less of that smile. You wanted what she had. 

But you would never get that. 

“Hey, you,” Gemma sneaked you from behind you, causing you to slightly jump. “Sorry,” she chuckled. 

“It’s okay. What’s up?” You smiled, trying to hide the pain in your eyes. 

“You’re not going to tell him, huh?” 

“Tell who what?” You raised your eyebrows, pretending to be oblivious. Gemma gave you a knowing look as she raised her eyebrows. 

“You know what. Not gonna tell him at all?” You sighed, shrugging your shoulders as you turned your head back to them. They were posing for some pictures with their arms around each other’s waists. They took a couple: smiling ones, funny ones, and even a kissing one. You turned your head back to Gemma once they started to kiss for a picture, and she softly smiled at you. 

“There’s no point. He’s with Brooke, and it’s not like he’s ever going to like me or get with me,” you sadly explained. Gemma looked at you as if you were totally wrong. “If he’s happy with Brooke, then why would I ruin that for him because of my selfish reasons?” 

“It’s not selfish for wanting to tell someone you love-”

“I don’t love him,” you immediately interrupted. 

“Y/N…c’mon,” she raised her eyebrows, knowing you’re completely wrong. 

“Okay…” you sighed in defeat, and she chuckled, continuing what she was saying. 

“You’ve known him for what, two years? That man makes sure you’re a priority. He makes sure you’re happy. If you could hear the stories he tells us and how he talks about you, you would think otherwise,” she stated before taking a sip of her drink. 

You stay quiet for a moment and think. Was there any way that Harry could have possibly liked you? There’s no way. You hadn’t noticed anything different about his behavior in the past two years you’ve known and worked for him. So, there was no way he could’ve liked you. And you know you’re only telling yourself that now, so you don’t lose your shit at his birthday party. 

“W-What does he say about me?” 

“Maybe you’ll know some time in the future if you tell him,” she challenged, and you rolled your eyes, causing Gemma to laugh. 

After Harry and Brooke managed to get away from the entrance, you and Gemma saw them walking towards you both. 

“Y/N, hi!” She greeted you with a not so surprising high pitched tone; only because Harry is right next to her. She also gave you a hug, which you only put in half the effort like always. Harry smiled at both of you, and she let go. 

“Gems, where’s mum?” He asked his sister. 

“Think she might be in the back,” she replied, looking at Brooke for a brief moment before looking back at Harry. 

“This is Brooke,” he introduced his girlfriend. 

“Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Brooke said with a big smile on her face, giving Gemma a hug. Polite as Gemma is, she hugged back. 

“You too,” Gemma simply said. 

“Should we go to the back and find mum? Brooke wants to meet her,” Harry asked, and Gemma nodded before walking towards the backyard. 

You stayed back, realizing that you weren’t needed and you didn’t have any business following them for Brooke to meet Anne. So, you walked over to the kitchen to grab a plate of cheese and crackers. Since the kitchen was right next to the large doors that led to the backyard, you looked up and saw Brooke jumping up and down slightly as she greeted Anne with a hug. You saw Anne smiling, hugging her back before they pulled away and started talking. Harry looked at them so fondly as they spoke. 

“Hey,” a voice next to you had startled you, making you slightly jump, taking your attention away from what’s happening in the backyard. Luckily, not dropping any of your food. 

“Hi,” you said back to the man you don’t know. 

“I’m Alex. One of Jeff’s friends. I don’t believe we’ve met yet,” he shook your hand, smiling. 

“I don’t think we have. I’m Y/N,” you nicely said back. 

“So, how do you know Harry?” He asked, grabbing a grape. 

“I’m his assistant, and best friend.” 

“Oh, shit! Special person I’m talking to, right here,” he smirked. Alex was cute and very attractive, but it wasn’t the same kind of smirk that you’ve been in love with for two years. 

“Hardly,” you scoffed before giving him a small smile as a way to tell him you’re somewhat joking. 

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. By any chance, you want to go somewhere to sit and talk?” He proposed hopefully. It wasn’t a bad idea whatsoever. You needed to make new friends and possibly make some new connections. You also didn’t want to depend on Harry all the time when you wanted to talk to someone because he’s busy, and his girlfriend doesn’t like you. So, you nodded. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He smiled, leading you to a more quiet area of the house, which was the sitting area. 

Meanwhile as you were chatting with Alex, Harry watched Brooke interact with Anne with a smile, but he still felt a weird feeling in his chest, like he’s happy about it, but he’s still wary. He brushed that feeling off, looking around and wondering where you were--if you’re having a great time. He turned his head towards the kitchen, and saw you talking to Alex. Smiles were placed on both your faces, and Harry frowned. He knew Alex was charming him up because that’s what he does. Alex technically wasn’t a bad guy, and Harry’s known him for a few years. He was nice, attractive, and can charm the shit out of someone just like Harry. But the sight and thought of seeing him actually charm you did not sit well with him. It really didn’t sit well once he saw you following him out of the kitchen. 

Harry took deep breaths, trying not to let the thought of you possibly enjoying hanging out with Alex as he carried on with his birthday night. 

6 February 2018

A deep sigh was let out once you sat in your seat on the plane. 

It was cold in Los Angeles and you knew the flight back to New York was going to be a bumpy one considering the weather in both cities, so you dressed comfortably, wearing grey sweatpants, a black sweatshirt, and some white sneakers. Your headphones had been plugged into your ears ever since you were cleared at TSA. 

As you got comfortable in your seat, Harry sat next to you, sighing. You obviously didn’t hear it because your headphones were in, but you definitely heard it the second time when he did it louder. You didn’t do anything, just browse on your phone until he dramatically sighed again, even louder this time. 

“What?” You said, taking your headphones out. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” He immediately asked, and your brows furrowed. 

“Ignoring you? Why would you think that?” 

“Well, for starters, you haven’t really spoken to me since my birthday. What’s up with that?” 

“Well, I didn’t really have to, did I?” There was no reason for your somewhat sarcastic tone and it’s not like you weren’t mad at him or anything, but you were exhausted from flying back and forth, plus doing your job. It’s not like you were ungrateful, but sometimes, you just needed a break, and that included, not talking to anyone. 

“You could’ve just answered my texts saying you were okay and that you weren’t going to be on your phone,” he scoffed, and you knew he was right. You were about to say you were sorry until he muttered something else. “Too busy with Alex, I see.” 

“What?” You asked in disbelief, knowing he said what you heard, but wanted to clarify. 

“You were, right?”

“What does this have to do with Alex?” You were starting to grow frustrated. 

“I mean, I saw you two at my party, and you two left together and stuff. So, you were probably busy for the entire week,” he said casually, scrolling through his phone as if you weren’t fuming right next to him. 

“It was one night-”

“Are you saying you had sex with him?” He turned his head towards you with raised eyebrows. He had this look on his face that told you he knew everything, but he just wanted to hear you say it. So, you did. 

“Yeah. So what if I fucked him? Is there something wrong with that? Didn’t get a little birthday sex? Don’t worry, I had some for you!” You tried containing your yells, but it came out like a loud whisper. Luckily there weren’t that many people on the plane; only the people who flew first class. 

It was true. When Alex had suggested talking, you found out that he was a very nice and funny guy. The night was getting late, and you said you were going to head home (which was a hotel), so he offered to drive you since you took an Uber, and that led to you inviting him up to your room and him gladly saying yes. It all happened so quick. You had immediately kissed him once you closed the door, and that led to him taking both of your clothes off before he fucked you. It was average sex, but you had fun considering that it’s been a while since you’ve had someone fuck you. That morning he left, telling you to text him, but you hadn’t and you don’t know if you will.

Harry stayed quiet, looking back down at his phone, and you shook your head, sitting correctly, and looking out the window, knowing that this was going to be a long flight. 

Just as you knew, the ride was bumpy, raising your fear and anxiety as you held onto yourself for dear life. You turned your music up, put your hands into your sweater, and crossed your arms in a way to calm you down and feel like someone is holding onto you. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the songs until you felt a hand on your arm. You opened your hands, and saw Harry with his eyes closed, but you knew he wasn’t sleeping. He had always held your hand when you two would fly together and there was turbulence. It was something he did that made you feel safe and comfortable during the flight. 

You smiled softly, taking his hand in with your as you shifted closer to his seat despite the middle console in between you two. For the rest of the flight, you weren’t as scared. 

Once you two landed, Harry’s driver was immediately outside in the designated area, and you two were taken back to your place before there was any cause of commotion at the airport. Harry helped you with your bags, walking to your front door. 

“Hey, I’m sorry for everything on the plane,” he said as you looked for your keys in your purse. 

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too--for not replying to you and for snapping at you on the plane as well,” you said back. “Can I just ask why you were so...angry I was with Alex?” You wondered. 

“I…uh,” he stumbled over his words, trying to find the right thing to say without it coming out like he was a jealous prick. “Just...Alex is known for charming the shit out of you, so he could sleep with you, but seeing as you already slept with him…” 

“Harry, isn’t it my job to decide who I can and can’t sleep with? I get that you want to look out for me, but just let me decide that, alright?” You said softly, and he nodded. 

“Think I was jealous,” he blurted out, and he immediately closed his mouth and widened his eyes once he said that because he really didn’t mean to. 

“W-Why?” You looked at him concerningly, and Harry took a deep breath because now he had make up an answer because god knows what the truth is. 

He took a step forward, looking at you so intently. You felt like he was staring you down, but you didn’t look away as you were so lost in his eyes that it physically made it difficult to even glance the other way.

Next thing you knew, he was inches away from you, glancing down to your lips and back up to your eyes. You held your breath as you looked up at him, looking extra close at the pinkness of his lips. Your chests were pressed so close against one another that you were sure he could feel your heart pounding through his. It was so loud that it rang through your ears—so loud you couldn’t hear anything else except for the constant chanting in your head screaming ’Harry, Harry, Harry.’ It was Harry that you wanted to kiss so badly. It was Harry who’s lips you could touch in an instant if you were to just lift your feet. It was Harry. It always has been. 

But you couldn’t.

Brooke.

You immediately stepped away from him as your eyes looked down, finally away from Harry. “I’m sorry-”

“No, I’m sorry-”

“Because Brooke, and-”

“Yeah…” 

You nodded, not sure what to do next, but seeing as you were still outside of your door, you finally got your keys out, and unlocked it. 

“Well, I’ll see you.” 

“Yeah, I’ll text you,” he said as he started walking backwards away from your apartment. 

You nodded. “Yup. Bye.” He waved, turning around and walking down the hall. 

Walking into your space and bringing your luggage in, you sighed as you closed the door. It was completely silent as your mind was racing and your heart was beating. 

What the fuck just happened and what the fuck was that?

3 March 2018

The first show of Harry’s tour was kicking off, and you were excited for him. He was slightly nervous and jittery, but that was expected. 

The ‘moment’ you two had when you came back from Los Angeles after your birthday was past you two. Although, you still think about it way too often, Harry seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it, so you respected that and didn’t bring it up. Besides, what was there to talk about anyways?

The first show started in Basel, Switzerland and you were very stoked. You’ve never been to any of the countries he’s going to play in besides London and some cities in the states, so it was going to be an adventure for you. For his very first tour that included small venues, you rarely went to any of the shows, so to say you were excited was an understatement. 

You were with Harry Lambert, looking at the first show suit in the stylist room. It was a Gucci black sparkly suit with gems on the lapel. You hadn’t seen this particular suit on him yet because you weren’t at the fitting the day he tried it on, but you absolutely loved it. It gave everyone just a hint of what the rest of the suits for the tour will look like. 

“Har—oh,” Brooke had entered the room, assumingly looking for Harry, but was disappointed when she saw you. “Have you seen Harry?” 

“Uh, I haven’t. He might be out on the stage,” you said honestly, and she nodded, turning around. But before she could exit the room, you called her, “Hey, Brooke.” She turned around, rolling her eyes. “I just kind of want to mend things between us. I feel like there has always been some sort of tension ever since we met, and seeing that you’ve been around for long and might be around for even longer, we should be civil towards one another.” 

“Well, obviously there has been. You’re trying to steal my boyfriend,” she said straightforwardly, and you raised your eyebrows, looking at Lambert. He was looking at Brooke with a not so friendly look, knowing that you would never do that despite knowing that you were in love with him. “I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. You will never get Harry. He’s in love with me, not you. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do. You will never be enough for him because you’re just his assistant. That’s all you are to him. Don’t think you’re more than that, okay?” She said with a smile, and you bit your lip, not wanting to argue with her. 

There was something about her words that really got to you, and you think that’s because she’s actually dating Harry and has managed to weave her way into his heart.

“I’d hate to continuingly have to tell you this, but I think the first time was enough, right? Now you’ve made me tell you twice,” she continued as she scoffed. “Anyways, I need to go find my boyfriend,” she turned around but suddenly stumbled back as she was met with Harry. “Oh, Harry. I was just looking-”

“Don’t even speak right now,” his eyes were dark and he was angry. 

It wasn’t like you to see Harry so often considering that he sometimes deals with rude fans and pushy paps, but he was mad. 

“I-”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Trying to degrade my best friend and assistant?” 

“Har-”

“We need to talk,” he told her, leaving the room. She turned around to look at you with sad eyes, but you simply couldn’t help her, not like you would anyways. She followed him, and the room was left with a weird tension that needed to be cut with a knife.

“Well, wasn’t that interesting,” Lambert said. 

After about thirty minutes, Harry walked back into the room. He stayed complete silent and started undressing to get into his suit since there was thirty minutes left until he had to go on. You and Lambert looked at each other, not knowing if you two should say anything, but decided to keep your mouths shut and let him get ready. 

Once he was dressed, he thanked Lambert and walked out of the room; once again with the same tension being in the air. You walked out as well as you debated whether or not to talk to him, but you saw him and the band gathering together, so you figured you could just talk to him after. 

The show had finally started, and the band was going out on stage. The crowd was roaring like crazy as the anticipation of seeing Harry was finally coming to an end. Once the band was fully equipped, Harry started to climb up the stairs. Around the stage it was dark as the beginning of ‘Only Angel’ started to play. You turned on your flashlight on your phone, and called out for him.

“Harry!” He turned around, holding the railings of the stairs, and his expression was normal; no smile or anything.  “Goodluck out there!” Once you had said that, the corners of his lips turned up as his mouth turned into a soft smirk. 

“Thanks, angel,” he said before pointing up as a way to say ‘listen to the song.’ “This is for you,” he quickly told you, running up the stairs and to the stage before the big circular screen rose up. 

You watched the rest of the show from the side of the stage, not too far away from the front of the pit. He was spectacular on stage; he truly belonged there. He charmed the crowd, made them laugh, scream, cry, and dance their hearts out for an hour and a half, and you were truly amazed. The atmosphere of the venue was insane, loving every second of it. 

Once he finished with ‘Kiwi,’ he said his goodnights to Switzerland before running off the stage and meeting the band, talking about how crazy and fun the first show was. He told everyone that it’s only going to get better from here, and everyone nodded and high fived excitedly. 

After a few minutes, Harry walked to his dressing room to cool off, and you followed behind him. It may seem as clingy, but you were concerned for your best friend. A lot went down with Brooke in just a few minutes, and you wanted to know if he was okay, despite not showing any signs of sadness or anger on stage. 

You knocked on his dressing room door and opened it before you heard ‘come in.’ Harry looked up, and saw you peek your head through the door, and he gestured you to come in all the way, which you did. 

“That was an amazing show, H,” you complimented. 

“You watched?” He asked surprisingly. 

“Yeah, didn’t miss a moment. I was on the side of the stage.” 

“Oh, well. Thank you,” he said. 

There was a moment of silence as you tried to form your words on how to go about talking to him about what had happened before the show. 

“I-I just wanted to ask if you were okay?” You started. He took a seat on his couch as you stayed standing up in front of him. “I’m sorry for what happened before the-”

“Why are you saying sorry?” He asked, looking up at you as if he was genuinely asking. 

“I...I don’t know what happened with Brooke, but if something did happen then I’m sorry,” you nervously. The only reason why you were so nervous was because you hoped that he didn’t get mad at you for whatever happened with her. 

“You didn’t do anything, angel. You did nothing wrong at all,” he sighed, and you stayed quiet as there was definitely more of what he wanted to say. “But I did break up with her.” Your brows raised at that, and you fought the urge to jump and cheer. 

“Y-You did?” 

“Yeah. I kind of wanted to a few weeks ago, but I never got the chance to. But before the show, she gave me another perfectly good reason why we shouldn’t be together, so I ended it.” There wasn’t a hint of sadness on his face as he told you. 

“What were the other reasons?” You hadn’t known that he wanted to break up with her before the events that happened today. You would expect him to talk to you about it, but you weren’t hurt by it. 

“I…” he cut himself off, and you waited patiently to see if he was going to say something. After a few more seconds, you saw him debate with himself to see if he actually wanted to tell you, and you wondered if he trusted in that sense; to talk to you and tell you things that were on his mind, but you didn’t want to get into it with him. 

“Are you okay?” You asked instead, truly wanting to make sure. 

“I should be asking you that.” 

“No-”

“Angel, c’mon. Behind closed doors, I didn’t know half the shit she was saying to you. I told her to fess up everything she’s done to you, and she did. Let me tell you, I was not happy at all that you had to deal with that without me knowing. And that fact that she lied to me about asking you to hang out and pretending to be nice to you--no wonder why you didn’t want to hang out with her.” 

The first time you had hung out with her was when you had to pick up some lunch and dry clean for Harry. They had only been dating for two months, so you thought it was best to get to know her since you were Harry’s best friend. You asked if Brooke wanted to go, and she hesitantly said sure, but when Harry thought that was a great idea, she perked up to it and said yes. When you two were in line for lunch she had asked you the basics of your job before rudely interrupting you and telling you that she knew that you were in love with him. Before you could even deny, she wasn’t having it and told you that you weren’t good enough for him and that you were only hired because you were Glenne’s friend. You were quite devastated after that and you faced Harry everyday with a smile on your face, but with the lingering thought of her words in the back of your mind. 

“Yeah, she wasn’t my particular number one person to hang out with,” you said sadly, and Harry sighed, standing up. He walked closer to you, and it felt like that time when you got home from the airport, and placed his hands on your shoulders. 

“Her talking shit about you was the last straw. Can’t have anyone talk to you like that, ever,” he said while looking into your eyes as if he was trying to convince you. 

“I am really sorry that you had to go through a break up though--especially on your first night of tour. Plus, it was your first serious relationship you’ve had in a while,” you felt bad because no one should go through the pain of a breakup. 

“It’s alright. Wasn’t in love with her like she said--didn’t even say those words to her. And it was her idea of wanting to meet my family. I was still wary about it, but that was one of the subjects for most of our arguments,” he sighed. “But I’m gonna be much happier without her. Felt like I was always stressed out around her,” he chuckled, causing you to as well. “But if anyone that I know talks to you like that ever again, please don’t hide that from me. I hate knowing that you were taking all of that shit, especially for months.” You nodded your head and he gave you a smile. 

He pulled you in for a hug and you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. You two stayed like that for a moment as you both felt like it’s been a while since you two has had one of these hugs. All thoughts and worries flew out of your head--not thinking about when the next time you’ll have one of these types of hugs again, and you felt safe in his arms. 

And you cherished it. 

30 March 2018

Tour was going by rather quickly as the first ten shows were already done with. 

You were able to see some beautiful sightings of the countries with Lambert and some of the band, and throughout that time, you had wished Harry was with you all, but for obvious reasons, he couldn’t be out in public so casually. 

Everything you’ve seen was so beautiful and your jaw dropped everytime you would look at a tall and high building, or the skyline of the entire city. You were quite amazed. 

Now, everyone was in Barcelona, and it was by far one of your favorite cities that you’ve visited. You loved the atmosphere and the ambiance that walking through the streets of Spain had placed a beaming grin onto your face. You were only staying for a couple of days before everyone had to pack up and head to Madrid, but you made sure to snap a mental and physical photo to remember your time in Spain. 

But rather than spending your day on the streets, roaming around the beautiful city, you were currently looking for Harry because Lambert was also looking for him, and of course, you decided to help find him. You pretty much checked every room backstage besides the bathroom, and you didn’t really think to check the restroom, but he might be in there, so you made your way towards it. 

“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in,” you said once you entered the restroom. 

The sight before you had made you sweat. A series of butterflies made its appearance in your stomach, making your hands shake. The slightest bit of air from swinging the door open had made chills rise onto your skin, but you knew that it was because of the beautiful man in front of you. 

You had walked in on Helene taking pictures of Harry, possibly so he could post them on Instagram. But he was candidly looking into the mirror as he sprayed on his Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille cologne; the one that you had picked up for him multiple times, and the one that you think smells amazing, specifically on him. He strutted around like it was made for him, and it was honestly your favorite scent. His suit was a custom Palomo black and white checkered sequined suit that just looked fucking good on him. 

“No worries, sweetheart. Just about finished. He’s all yours,” she winked at you before heading out of the bathroom. 

“What’s up, angel?” 

“Just wanted to tell you that Lambert is looking for you. Said he needed to fix up a stitch really quick before you go on stage,” you said, not meeting his eyes. 

“Is that all?” He asked, sensing your nerves, and he knew that it was possibly from walking in on him, doing a mini photoshoot because he knew he looked good. 

You gulped, “Y-Yeah.”

“You don’t sound too sure,” he challenged, walking closer to you, but not too close as there was a bit of space between you two. 

“Uh-”

“Tell me,” he shifted even closer, making you nervous. You didn’t know where the sudden outbreak of him being somewhat flirtatious as he demanded you to tell him came from, but the sound of his raspy and deep voice, and the way he was looking was making you act up as you were about to confess your feelings towards him. 

You figured it was time as you felt like he sensed that kind of vibe from you, plus Brooke mentioning that you were in love with him, which you think you’re pretty sure he heard, but you’re wondering why he hasn’t 

“I-I want to tell you something, and this may potentially ruin things between us, but-”

“There you are!” The sound of someone else’s voice in the room and the banging of the room had interrupted you, and you and Harry stepped back from one another. “Everything okay here?” Lambert asked, looking at both of you and practically feeling the tension. Once you two nodded, not looking at each other, he looked at you both suspiciously before continuing. “Anyways, come with me. I need to fix something,” Lambert walked out of the restroom as Harry followed him, not giving you another look. 

You turned around to look in the mirror, sighing to yourself as you shook your head. 

Well, guess that’s not happening right now, you thought. 

Watching Harry up on stage was something you would never get used to. You made sure to never miss a show as you watched from the side, and since he knows where you stand during the show, he always makes sure to go to that side of the stage and wave to you. But seeing him on stage was different every night. His performances and conversations with the crowd were always different and that’s what made them and him so entertaining. 

Once the show was over, he made his way off the stage and to the dressing room. He talked a bit with the band, as they always did right when the show ends, to talk about their favorite moments and which songs they needed to work on for rehearsals. After that, Harry walked to his dressing room and you would follow every single time. 

“Another great show, H. Never get tired of watching you,” you said once you entered the dressing room.

“Thanks, angel. Always feel like I’m on a high when I’m trying to cool down, like I just have so much energy to perform another hour,” he chuckled, wiping some sweat off his forehead. 

“That must be exhilarating--being up there every night for your fans,” you walked towards him to stand in front of him as he leaned on the table of the vanity. 

“Yeah, it really is,” he smiled. He pulled your arm towards him and wrapped his arms around your waist, giving you a hug. You were surprised by the sudden affection, but Harry was an affectionate type of guy, and really, you didn’t mind being close to him. Plus, he seemed extra needy since he recently just broke up with someone. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course, Harry. Always going to be here for you,” you said against his ear as your arms were around his shoulders. 

“And I’m always going to be here for you,” he said back. 

For a moment, it was just this--hugging him as he cooled down in your arms, and you liked it...a lot. But when you pulled back, you didn’t pull back completely and it made you face to face with him, literally inches away from each other. You two looked at each other in the eye, glancing your eyes to his lips and back up to his eyes. The only thing you thought was: I really want to fucking kiss him right now. 

And it seemed like he did as well because he crashed his lips with yours, molding them together as your arms were wrapped around one another. It was everything you expected as you dreamed of his lips on yours quite often, and you absolutely loved it. He felt like a drug, like all of your pain and worries went away once his lips touched yours, and you were addicted. You wanted so much more. 

Your tongue makes its way in his mouth, meeting his, and he swirled it with his before lightly sucking on it. Your teeth found a way to bite his bottom lip and he let out a groan. He pulled back for a bit, looking at you before kissing you again. 

“God, been wanting you for so long,” he groaned, and you felt butterflies in your stomach, trying not to take his words literally as to keeping your hopes down. But little did you know that his words were serious. “Can I touch you?” He whispered in between kisses. 

You nodded, whispering out, “Please.” Harry’s stomach did flips once you gave him consent, and his hands trailed down your body. Luckily, you were wearing a simple dress with straps, so it was easier. He bunched up your dress up to your hips, and you held it up with your arm before touching you over your panties, feeling a wet spot over the fabric. 

“Practically drenched. It’s for me, right?” He muttered, wrapping his free arm around your waist so you were closer. 

“Yes. Always going to be for you,” you moaned as his hand continuously rubbed you and he smirked. Your words had completely slipped out, but it was the truth. 

“Can I take them off?” He asked, and you nodded your head before he slid your drench underwear down your legs and you kicked them off to the side somewhere in his dressing room. You molded your lips with his again and grabbed a fistful of his curly hair, causing him to kiss you even harder. 

Harry then started roaming his hands around your thighs, going to ass and squeezing the flesh, and you moan against his mouth. His hand moves up and to your stomach before trailing down to your hot core. He took his fingers and swiped up your slit, making you groan from the feeling of his hands. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered before touching your clit and rubbing it. He buried his face in your neck to kiss, suck, and nibble on your skin, and that feeling made you throw your head back as his hands rubbed you and mouth kissed you. The feeling was indescribable, but it was Harry. 

You felt his fingers slip inside of you, starting off with one finger before pumping in and out of you. He then added another finger as he curled them in an inward motion and brushed his fingertips against the soft upper area of your pussy. 

“Shit, that feels so good. So, so good, H,” you groaned out. Harry took the straps of your dress off your shoulders, and kissed your chest where the gold chain he had gifted you rested. He pulled on the front of your dress to expose your tits, and his mouth immediately wrapped around your hard nipples, sucking them and pulling on them before releasing them with a pop. Your grip on Harry’s hair tightened as you felt like you were going to rip out his hair from the way you’re feeling. “Add another,” you whimpered out. 

“Another finger?” He looked at you with wide eyes, but all he saw was your eyes closed and head being thrown back; and you nodded. He added his pinky finger in with his ring and middle finger, trying his best to curl them up into you, but the snugness of your hole was challenging him. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Practically squeezing my fingers,” he said, kissing your neck. 

His words and fingers had gotten you to the edge, and you were minutes away from releasing around him. He saw you bite your lip and take deep breaths, and he knew you were close. 

“C’mon, angel baby. Let go for me, yeah? Know you’re close,” he thrusted his fingers deep into you, and that was when you hit your peak. With loud moans, you jolted around his fingers, riding your high out as Harry continuously pressed kisses to your chest and neck. He took his hand, sticking one of his fingers in your mouth, and you swirled your tongue around his finger that was covered in your orgasm, and moaned. He took the other two fingers, and placed them in his own mouth, tasting yourself on his fingers. “Taste so good,” he smirked, kissing your forehead, and you leaned your head on his shoulders to take a breather.

Once you calmed down, you turned your head to kiss his neck, sucking on his skin to calm your breathing down, and Harry hissed. His hands ran through your hair and all the way down to your back, soothing you. After a minute or two, you lifted your head up, meeting his eye before you kissed him, deeply. You two made out for a while you unbuttoned his black shirt, and you pulled away from his lips to kiss down his torso until you were on your knees. Harry was hard as rock in his pants and desperately needed some release that he could possibly come any minute with how you’re kissing him. 

His entire suit was still on and he went to take his jacket off, but you stopped him. 

“Keep it on,” you looked up at him as you told him so before proceeding to kiss down his stomach. He put his arms down, and gripped and sat on the edge of the desk. You got to the hem of his pants and looked up at him, giving him a sight to die for. “Can I take these off?” 

He looked down at you, smirking before nodding his head. “Please, take it all off,” he gave your cheek a stroke with his thumb, and you smiled looking back down to his pants to unbutton it, pulling down his trousers to his ankles, you saw his bulge, and smirked before you kissed over his underwear. Harry took a deep breath in as you palmed him before grabbing the hem of his briefs and pulling it down, his dick springing up as Harry’s shoulder relaxed from the lack of restraint. 

“Fuck, you’re so big,” you said, grabbing his dick. You knew very well that he was well endowed because of the many times you’ve seen him get hard on stage, and also from that moment when you walked in on him in Brooke’s mouth had confirmed it, but seeing it up close was unreal. You licked your hand and grabbed his cock before looking up at him. “What do you want me to do, Harry?” Your voice asked seductively. He was completely under your spell as his breaths were staggered while you stroked him. 

“Anything you want,” he breathed out. You smirked at the state he was in at the moment, and you loved every second of it. 

You put your mouth around his tip, sucking it lightly, and that caused Harry’s breath to hitch in his throat. You took more of him in your mouth as you relaxed your jaw. He was bigger than the guys you’ve fucked and you really hoped you were doing a good job for him because you wanted him to feel good. You hollowed your cheeks in and sucked hard, slicking your tongue on the underside of his cock. 

“Feels so good, angel baby,” he moaned, throwing his head back. He was already embarrassingly close, but he wanted to feel you more, so he tangled his fingers in your hair, getting a gentle but steady grip, and started guiding your head up and down his cock. You let him take control for the time being because honestly, you loved hearing the sounds of his moans start to progress. “That’s it,” he muttered under his breath once he felt the back of your throat. 

You placed your hands on his thighs, gripping his skin harshly so that your nails dug into it, and he hissed, but the pain felt so good to him. After a few more pushes to your head, you pushed on his thighs so he could release you, and when you did that he knew that he was done being in control. You grabbed his cock that was slick from your mouth, and you loved your head down so you could take his balls in your mouth. More of the beautiful sounds coming from his mouth came out more loudly as you sucked until he finally said the words. 

“Gonna cum, angel. Gonna fuckin’ cum,” he moaned. You saw his knuckles practically turn white as he gripped the desk hard. You loved your head back up to place the tip in your mouth as you fondled with his balls before he spurts his come in your mouth. “Such a fuckin’ good girl,” he said as you swallowed. 

You kissed back up his stomach and to his neck before meeting his lips again. He tasted himself on your tongue, and you were a good mix with him. You two pulled back from one another, looking at each other before you both started giggling—post orgasm haze. 

“Jeez, such an angel, but that mouth of yours is sinful.”

5 June 2018 

The rest of the Europe, Australia, and Asia leg went by, and you were back in the states for the first show of the US leg. 

Ever since the dressing room escapade, you and Harry had been acting differently towards each other. There weren’t anymore sexual acts, but there was a lot more affection. Sadly, not any kisses to the lips, but kisses to the cheek and forehead were made, and they were welcomed and given. He would always put an arm around your shoulder when you two were walking, and there was the occasional cuddle in his hotel room before or after the show. It was definitely different, but you enjoyed it. 

What you didn’t enjoy was the fact that you hadn’t told him you liked him. You were sure he had an idea, but you wanted to say it out loud to get it off your chest. You also didn’t know if he felt that way towards you whatsoever, and that thought scared you. Just because of what happened in the dressing room didn’t necessarily mean he had feelings for you. The thought of him just leading you on and messing with you feelings made your heart sink when you think about it, and you really hoped it wouldn't get to that point. 

Tonight was the Dallas show, and Harry wore an Alexander McQueen embroidered pink floral suit. As always, he looked amazing. But your favorite was the Barcelona suit, and you might be a bit biased on that given the events that happened in that particular suit. You chuckled to yourself as you followed Jeff and Glenne to your seats. 

You decided to watch the show with them in the reserved seats in the lower level of the arena, and it was a change from the side of the stage, but you could really see more from the seats. Once you got to your seats, Harry had already finished up with ‘Only Angel’ and was moving on to ‘Woman,’ but a familiar man had caught your eye. 

“Alex?” You called out through the music. 

“Y/N! It’s so great seeing you!” He said, giving you a hug. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Jeff and Harry invited me! Haven’t seen Harry perform since last year, so they reserved me a seat,” his face was close to your ear, so you could understand him better through the loudness of the crowd and the bass of the music. 

“Ah, well I’m glad you’re here! It’s been a while,” you said completely innocently, and he nodded, smiling before turning his head to watch Harry on stage. In all honesty, the thought of Alex slipped your mind because your head was constantly thinking about Harry as it always does. 

For the rest of the show, he was amazing. The crowd was wild as always, and he absolutely looked so cute in his suit. Your favorite part was when someone threw a rainbow sequined cowboy hot on stage, and he picked it up to wear it. It was a look, to be honest. 

Before the band said their goodbyes to the crowd, the four of you headed backstage, so there wasn’t any delay with everyone trying to leave at the same time. As you were walking, you were walking next to Alex as Jeff and Glenne walked in front of you two. 

“Hey, I was thinking. Maybe we should get dinner tonight? Y’know, to catch up? I know some places that are still open,” he suggested, and you liked the idea. 

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good,” you said, smiling back. 

The four of you met with the band as they laughed and talked about the show. You met Harry, giving him a hug as you told him that he did amazing out there. He hugged you back tightly, telling you thank you. 

“C’mon,” he said, taking your hand as he wanted to go to his dressing room as you always did after his shows. 

“Oh, uh, actually,” you pulled your hand back, causing him to stop walking. “I’m going out to dinner with Alex…” you said nervously, and he raised his eyebrows, looking down the hall and noticing Alex talking to Adam. 

“Oh okay, yeah. Go ahead,” he let go of your hand, completely dropping it from his as his face dropped. In that moment, you wished you didn’t say yes to Alex and went with Harry to his dressing room. This would be the first time you were going to miss out on dressing room chats as he calmed down from his energetic state from being on stage. It would be the first time you weren’t going back to the hotel with him while holding his hand in the car and up to your rooms. 

“Hey,” Alex caught up to you, not feeling the tension between you and Harry. “Ready to go?” You looked up at him briefly, placing a fake smile on your face before looking back at Harry who already had his back turned towards you, walking to his room. 

“Yeah, I am.” 

21 June 2018

The prospect of not talking to Harry as much hurt you a bit. 

You haven’t had a full conversation with him in about two weeks. The most you’ve ever spoken to him was when someone was looking for him or if he was clearing up and clarifying his schedule. But other than that, nothing. You didn’t know why it was like that, but you tried not to let it get to you as you told yourself that he was tired from the tour. He was on the last month of tour and the flying had definitely caught up to him. 

But that wasn’t the real reason. 

You have been going out with Alex ever since that night in Dallas, and you thought it was nice to have someone to talk to other than Harry and the rest of the crew and band--although they’re very nice and fun people, you saw them everyday. And you came to find out that Alex was even more fun once you’ve gotten to know him even more. 

Alex made you feel free. There was something refreshing about hanging out with him that made you want more, and he definitely took your mind off of thinking about Harry... by having his tongue down your throat and inside of you. There have been plenty of pleasurable times when Alex had made you feel good, and vice versa. It started out in the night at Fort Lauderdale, two days after Dallas, and you went out with Alex to a bar in the city. Both of you had too much to drink and he asked if you wanted to go over to his hotel, which of course you said yes. One thing led to another, and you were underneath him, moaning his name out. Ever since then, he would watch every other show and you two would have date nights that took the night away into a hotel room. 

It was nice, and he liked you and you liked him back. 

Liked him as much as Harry? Not quite. But there were definitely a little bit of feelings for him. Besides, he calls you nice things and tells you you’re pretty. 

It was Harry’s first New York show in Madison Square Garden as a solo artist, and he was pumped, but also a little nervous. You were so incredibly proud of him and what he’s done in his career, so you were happy for him. And you were happy to be back home for a few days as well because you haven’t been home since the beginning of the month. 

Alex stood next to you with an arm around your shoulder the entire time of Harry’s show. He was wearing a custom Gucci white suit with flowers printed all over and the phrase ‘Memento Mori’ underneath it. The lapel part of the suit was a velvet material and he wore a black shirt underneath. The trousers were flared from the knee down, and you absolutely loved it. 

When the show was over, you and Alex headed backstage to meet with the band. You had expected that he wanted to get dinner already, but he hadn’t mentioned anything, so you assumed that you were going to go back to your hotel and hang out with him there. 

“Lovely show, H,” you hugged him tightly, but he didn’t reciprocate the same energy into the hug like you, and you found that odd because he usually hugs you tight. 

“Thanks,” he smiled softly, shaking Alex’s hand before thanking him for coming to the show. 

You turned towards Alex and asked, “What’s the plan for tonight?” 

“Oh, I was going to tell you, but I’m hanging out with a couple of friends from college that live here. So, I can't hang out with you tonight. I’m sorry,” he slightly pouted. “I’ve got to get going now though, so I’ll see you tomorrow?” You nodded understandingly. 

“Yeah, definitely. Probably best we don’t hang out all the time because I don’t want you to get tired of me,” you joked, and he shook his head no. “But I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me,” you told him before he gave you a kiss on the lips before heading towards the exit. 

Harry had watched the whole interaction with a small frown. He tried to contain his jealousy when he saw Alex kiss you and you smiling, but it was difficult for him to not scoff loudly, so he turned around and walked towards his dressing room. You turned around to find Harry missing, and you assumed he went to his dressing room, so you headed over there. You knocked on the door before entering, and you found him on the couch with his phone in his hands. 

“Hey,” you smiled, sitting on the couch as he muttered a ‘hi.’ “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, what makes you think I’m not?” He said defensively, and you furrowed your brows. 

“I never said you weren’t. I just wanted to make sure you were. I haven’t talked to you in a while.” 

“Well, that’s not my fault,” he whispered under his breath before continuing to scroll through his phone. 

There was a bit of a silence, and unfortunately, it was an awkward one. You didn’t feel needed in the dressing room, but you sat there awkwardly as you didn’t know what to say to him. 

“You’re seeing Alex?” He suddenly asked, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah. Just hanging out with him,” you got up to grab a water bottle from the table, and you opened it, taking a sip. 

“So, you’re fucking him?” He said casually, but you choked on your water, immediately coughing. Once you calmed down, you looked at him with watered eyes. 

“Uh…” 

“You can tell me,” he said sternly. 

“I mean, yeah, we had sex a few times, but there’s no label or anything like that. We’re just hanging out,” you told him, and he nodded. 

“Do you like him?” He raised his brows, and you took a deep breath, wondering what all these questions were for. 

“I think so, but-”

“Good, he’s a good guy,” he interrupted you. You liked Alex, yeah, but comparing your feelings for Alex to Harry...unmatchable. “I’m glad you’re happy,” he said, getting up from the couch before grabbing a towel from the vanity and walking out of the dressing room. Once he left, you were alone in the dressing room. You sighed deeply as you buried your face in your hands. 

“Yeah, sure I am.”

22 June 2018

The sound of ringing had woken you up from your slumber. 

You groaned as you tried to make out where your phone might be on your bedside table with your eyes closed, but you were hitting empty spots, so you opened one eye and grabbed your phone. 

“Hello?” Your morning voice coming out through the speaker. 

“Y/N. Can you come by, like right now?” It was Harry on the phone, and you groaned. After the night prior, you thought he didn’t want to talk to you, but seeing as you’re still his assistant, of course he would call you. 

“Why must you call me at,” you pulled your phone back to look at the time, “six in the morning?” 

“Please. It’s important. I have some stuff I need you to do,” he pleaded, and you stretched your limbs out, making inhumane noises while still being on the phone, and Harry chuckled. 

“Fine. Be there in like twenty.”

“Thank you, angel! See you.”

He must be in an awfully good mood this morning, you thought. And it’s been a while since you heard your pet name, but you brushed it off and got ready. 

You unlocked the door of Harry’s house, letting yourself in. You found him sitting on the couch, reading a book until he looked up at the door and saw you. He got up and walked towards you, and opened his arms, giving you a big hug. 

“Hey, angel. Thanks for coming by,” he said into your ear, leaving you in goosebumps. 

“Course. Everything okay?” You asked once you pulled away. 

“Yeah. I miss you, y’know. Feel like we haven’t spoken in a while,” he trailed off a bit, and you squint your eyes at him. 

“I sense a ‘but,’” you said, and he chuckled. 

“I actually need you to get these for me, if that’s okay? Just need them before the show,” he handed you a list, and you looked at it. 

The items were something similar as before: a bouquet of flowers and a gift basket with various types of snacks. As you read through it, that’s when you knew and your heart sank. 

“So who is it?” Harry looked at you curiously, and you waved around the list up. “Who are you dating?” 

“Oh, this girl I met through a mutual friend. She actually was at the Dallas show and we met after at a bar. She’s in the fashion industry; her name is Rena,” he explained with a smile. “She’s coming to the show tonight, so I just wanted to get her a little something.” 

“Okay, I’m on it. I’ll see you tonight,” you headed out, figuring since you had nothing else to do, you could stretch your errands out until the show. You decided to have breakfast first and get some coffee since it was quite early still, and enjoy a day to yourself until Harry introduces you to yet another girl. 

Rena was a nice lady. She was two years older than you and Harry, and she was drop dead gorgeous. You’ve never seen anyone this stunning up close. She always had the sweetest smile, and you were contemplating if she was real or not, and why Harry is calling you ‘angel’ and not her. It was difficult to hate her, and it’s not like you wanted to, but considering that you have feelings for Harry, you wanted something to be wrong about her--maybe a Brooke 2.0, but she was so kind to you, and she loved everything that was gifted to her from Harry, even if the items were the smallest things. So, there were no complaints. 

Harry seemed happy with her, so that’s all that mattered. 

1 July 2018

It seemed like Rena was around all the time now, like she was at every show since night two in New York. You tried to busy yourself by going around the town you were in or talking to Alex, but you missed Harry. It was always like this when he was dating someone; the first few months, he would completely forget about you and always hang out with the person, but once he starts settling in, he wants to talk to you. And since he’s only been dating Rena for a month, he hasn’t been talking to you lately. 

You watched Harry on stage in St. Paul next to Rena, Alex, and Jeff as Harry was wearing a sparkly pink Gucci shirt with a pussybow on the front and some black trousers. The energy in the room was amazing. By far it was the best performance of ‘Medicine’ you’ve seen him perform. He even held out a pair of handcuffs in front of the crowd, making them go crazy, and he looked up at your section, glancing at Rena before smirking, making you cringe a tad bit as she cheered. 

At the end of the show, you greeted the band, and immediately Rena was attached to Harry, which made you impatient because you wanted to hug him like you always do. But they were wrapped in each other’s arms as they kissed, no plans of letting go of one another. 

“Hey, wanna head out?” Alex asked. You still hadn’t said hello to Harry, but you figured you could text him later, so you nodded, glancing back at the two of them and walked out with Alex. He took you to a diner that wasn’t too far from the hotel and you both ate breakfast for a midnight meal because breakfast simply hits differently when it’s at an unusual hour. Alex then walked you back to the hotel room, and you were exhausted by this point. You just wanted to get out of your shoes and sleep for a very long time. You were lucky that you weren’t sharing a room with Alex because sometimes you just needed to be alone, and this moment was that time. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he said, stopping in front of your room and your brows raised as he continued. “We’ve been dating for about a month now, and I really like you, so I wanted to ask if you wanted to be my girlfriend.”

You had expected anything else, but that question. Your heart beat practically stopped for a moment as you looked at him, wondering if he was serious, and when he didn’t say he was joking, you realized that he was actually being serious. 

“Oh, uhm…”

“It’s been fun getting to know you and travelling to these places with you, so I figured it was time to ask you.”

“Alex...you’re a really nice guy, but I’m just not sure I can be your girlfriend,” you told him honestly, and his brows furrowed. 

“Why’s that?”

“I-I like you, but I feel like my feelings for you aren’t 100% there when it comes to being your girlfriend.” He only nodded, and you were getting quite anxious when he didn’t say anything. 

He then started laughing, pacing around in the hallway and you crossed your arms. 

“That’s hilarious,” he said. 

“What-”

“No, the only reason you don’t want to be with me is because you’re in love with someone else!” His voice raised, making the hallway echo a bit. You looked at him, not knowing what to say. “Yeah. I know you’re in love with Harry. Noticed that the first time I met you; that you were staring right at someone that wasn’t yours, but desperately wanted to be.”

“I…” you were speechless. Had you really been that obvious about your feelings towards Harry that everyone around you noticed? 

“It’s a shame though, isn’t it?” He had a grin of the devil; mischievously and humiliating. You looked at him nervously, urging him to continue. “You’re in love with someone that doesn’t even want you,” he stated. “That doesn’t look your way for a second when he thinks about a relationship because you’re only his assistant. Not once would he look your way down the street if you weren’t working for him,” he looked you up and down, and your eyes started watering, and you were embarrassed that you were about to cry in front of Alex as he crushed you in every possible way. “It’s okay, don’t cry. You have me,” he opened his arms to take you in for a hug, but you physically pushed him away because now you were angry. 

“I have you? Are you fucking kidding me? After you just humiliated me?” You were breathing out through your nose as your tears made their way down your cheeks. 

“Hey, I’m just telling you the truth-”

“Why did you even ask me to be your girlfriend?” You asked, genuinely confused on his logic. 

“Well, the question that you’re supposed to be asking is why did I talk to you in the first place?” 

“Why did you?” 

“Since you want to know so bad,” he teased, and you rolled your eyes. “When I saw you, I definitely liked you, but then I saw you were giving heart eyes to Harry, so I thought I could change your mind. See if I could switch your feelings up,” he chuckled. 

“So, this was some sort of experiment? Guessing your hypothesis was wrong then, huh? Go ahead and write your conclusion as: fucked her, but dick wasn’t good enough to fall in love. So, fuck off,” you rolled your eyes and opened the door before slamming it shut in his face. Your back was leaning against the door as more that you’ve been holding onto fell from your face as you heard him still talk. 

“You’ll never be like Brooke or Rena, or whoever he dates in the future! You’re nothing to him!” He yelled through the door as his words came out muffled. 

Sliding down the door, you finally heard him leave, and you were full on sobbing. You tried not to let his words get the better of you, but the way Alex spat them out so easily, it was hard not to. 

Because what if he’s right. 

7 July 2018

Harry noticed that you had been feeling off the entire week. 

It was like you were simply existing, but not present in some moments when people would talk to you. You had this dull look on your face, and it wasn’t the same as your bright and happy look that he looked forward to everyday. He noticed it when everyone was leaving from Minnesota, and he told himself that it was because you were tired, which was true, but he didn’t know the whole reason. 

After the show in Seattle, he didn’t see you like he used to, and he wondered where you or if you even watched the show. Once he high fived and talked to everyone for a bit, he headed to his dressing room, hoping that you were in there, but you weren’t. So now, he was worried. 

H: Hey, where are you? He texted. Luckily, Rena wasn’t around anymore because she would want all his attention after the show. He simply couldn’t take someone being so clingy, so he called things off with her. It may have also had to do with the fact that he didn’t want to hide his feelings anymore, and being with other people just wasn’t working for him anymore. Not when you were in front of him. 

It’s been a long time coming now, and he felt stupid for not telling you in the first place since he’s been in love with you since last year--during the time he was with Brooke. He was honestly afraid to tell you, and when he heard Brooke say it, he just felt so much shock run through him, so he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t have an excuse as to why he got with other people while being in love with you, but it just made him feel in control of himself because he couldn’t control his feelings towards you, so he got scared. So, he decided that when everyone gets to California in two days, he’s going to confess his entire feelings for you. 

Harry walked to your hotel room, knocking on it as he waited for you to answer. He could hear shuffling and movement through the door, and he hoped to god that Alex wasn’t in there with you. 

“Who is it?” You said through the door, softly. 

“Angel, it’s Harry. Can I see you?” He asked. There was a pause, but then he heard the door handle rattled as you opened the door. 

Your face was a crying mess and your hair was up in a very messy bun. Harry’s mouth opened slightly as he concerningly asked, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” His question and concern had made you sob even more as you shook your head. “C’mere,” he pulled you in for a hug and you sobbed into his chest as he walked you over to the edge of your bed. He observed your room and saw that there were a stack of clothes folded on the other bed along with your open luggage with some of your belongings inside. “Angel, what’s going on?” You pulled your head out of his chest to look at him, knowing that he was probably wondering why you were packing; and he had a sad expression on his face. 

“I’m leaving,” you simply said. 

“Leaving? Where are you going?” His brows furrowed. 

“I’m going back home.” 

“W-What? Why?” 

“I can’t be your assistant anymore, Harry,” you cried, and Harry’s heart sank as his jaw dropped. 

“What are you talking about? A-Are you quitting?” You stood up, placing the stack of clothes in your luggage as you sorted them. 

“Y-Yeah,” you said quietly, and Harry has never been more confused in his life. 

“W-What did I do wrong? I’m sorry we haven’t been seeing each other lately, but I promise after tour-”

“No, no. It’s not you, I promise,” you shook your head. In this moment, you felt like you should tell him everything because he deserved an explanation from you. “Please, listen, okay?” He nodded. You walked to sit on the desk chair in front Harry as he sat on the edge of the bed. You proceeded to tell him everything that Alex said from him asking you to be his girlfriend to you saying no. “He said these mean things that-”

“What the fuck did he say?” He gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. 

“Just listen,” you stopped him. “He said those things because I’m in love with someone else…I’m in love with you, and you probably heard Brooke say that, but you didn’t say anything, so I just assumed that you didn’t want to believe it.” It was the words Harry has been wanting to hear and he went to open his mouth, but you immediately started talking again. “I have been ever since I started working for you, and I thought it was just a crush on my boss, but it’s way more than that. Alex told me I’m not good enough for you and that you would never love me, and I think that’s true-” 

“No! That’s not true! I love-”

“Please, don’t,” you shook your head as you sobbed. You’ve been waiting for years to hear those words, but you knew that you couldn’t hear them just yet. “Don’t say those words because I’m leaving and to prove Alex wrong.” 

“I’m not trying to prove him wrong, it’s true,” Harry’s eyes watered, and you sighed.

“What he said got me thinking…I go to all these stores and pick shit up for your love interests, sending me a list of all their favorite things, and wishing that they were for me. And in the midst of it, I realized you don’t know what my favorite flower is! I’ve been hurting for so long that I covered it up everytime and put a fake smile on my face just to see you happy.”

“Your favorite flower is-”

“I just really think that I deserve to be happy as well,” you nodded your head as a way to try and convince yourself. 

“You do deserve to be happy, angel baby. But we can be happy together? I-I… want you here. With me.” His voice was filled with hope, and it only made it harder for you. 

You closed your eyes for a moment, burying your face in your hands. “I want that so bad. I do, H. But I really need to be happy with myself and by myself first. I depended on you and the others around me a lot, and I just didn’t save that love for myself, so…I need to leave,” you sniffled, wiping your cheeks. 

“And when you come back?” 

“I don’t know when that will be or what’s going to happen, but I’m not asking you to wait for me or anything because you should live your life. But when I come back, I’ll call you, and we’ll talk,” you told him, and it seemed like you had everything planned already, but you were just as lost as he was. He dropped his head, crying into his hands. You rolled your chair closer to him, grabbing his wrists, and he lifted his head. “We’ll be alright, okay? Just need a little time to myself.” He nodded, sniffling. 

You stood up and walked over to your luggage, zipping it closed before you looked around to see if you forgot anything. Harry stood up and walked over to you, grabbed your wrists, and pulled you to him, giving you a hug. His face was buried in your neck and you felt him press kisses against your skin as he cried. 

“You’ll be back?” The pain in his voice was enough to tip you over the edge of bawling. 

“Yeah, I’ll be back,” you said in between sniffs. “I’m going to stay with my parents for a while; get a job back in Oregon,” you told him, so he’s not completely out of the loop. He pulled back, looking down at you. 

“When you come back, your job will always be here.” You smiled sadly, raising your hand to caress his cheek. 

“We’ll see, okay? But I have to go to the airport now. My flight is in two hours,” you managed to free yourself from his grasp as it tightened so you wouldn’t go, but you really had to. 

“Let me drop you off?” He offered, and you shook your head. 

“No, it’s only going to make this harder,” you said, grabbing your luggage and backpack. “Have a great rest of the tour, alright? Take care of yourself,” you placed your palm on his cheek again, looking in his sad eyes before you reached up and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you, honey.”

You walked out of the room with no glance back at him, and Harry was alone in your hotel room, and it was the last memory of you that would be ingrained in his mind forever. 

14 July 2018 

The crowd cheered loud for Harry for his final show in Los Angeles. He overwhelmingly smiled as he took a deep breath before continuing onto the next song. Everyone seemed to know what the next song on the set list was, so the room went a bit quiet as the crowd turned on their flashlights as the lights went completely dark, and the only thing was heard was the strumming of the guitar. 

Woke up alone in this hotel room… As he sang, he took in his own lyrics, feeling like they really related to him at the moment despite writing the song two years ago. Harry sang with every emotion in him as he let it all out in the dark room that was silent, and the only thing he heard was his voice and the guitar that was played by Mitch. 

We haven’t spoke since you went away…He had thought of you every night he sang this song since you left in Seattle, and it pained him that there was no contact between you ever since you left, but he figured that was what you wanted. What you needed. 

Comfortable silence is so overrated… The moments when there would be silence between you two, he hated looking back at those moments because he knew he should’ve said something, you would’ve still been here. 

Why won’t you ever say what you want to say? Why didn’t you say anything, Harry? 

Even my phone misses your call, by the way…He missed your contact name pop up on his phone that went along with his contact picture for you. You were smiling bright as you ate ice cream. It was a summer day in New York and really warm outside, so you decided you two took a break from running around and got some ice cream. You were so happy that day, and he was happy he got it on camera. 

Harry would often find himself looking at your pictures together; trying to pinpoint the exact moment you knew you were in love with him. Your smile always made his day, and it broke his heart knowing that he wouldn’t get to see that smile for a long while--at least he hoped it’s not a long time till he gets to see you again. Since, he knew when his feelings had progressed, he looked back on the pictures when he knew he fell hard. His smile had gotten bigger and the look he gave you was full of love, and he wished that you saw how he looked at you. 

He missed you so much. 

13 December 2019

It took you quite a while since you felt whole again. 

You hadn’t felt so empty as you had been when you left Seattle. The year and a half you spent back at home really helped you with that. You were able to find yourself again; spending time with your family and with yourself was something so refreshing that you cherished every moment with them. You learned a lot about yourself, and you reshaped your own worth and values. You came back stronger than ever and you’ve never been happier than you are now. 

You nervously walked over to the section you were going to be sitting in. The room was dark and the crowd was absolutely wild as they were finally seeing the one person they’ve been waiting for. You looked down, watching your step as you held your phone with the flashlight on your feet as they stepped onto the red floor of the pit, until you saw the familiar faces you’ve been looking for. 

“Y/N! There you are!” Glenne smiled, taking you in for a hug. “I’ve missed you babe,” she said in your ear as you hugged her tight. 

“I missed you too, so much.”

“Hey, Y/N. It’s good to see you again,” Jeff said, giving you a warm embrace. 

The music was playing and the crowd had gotten louder as the man of the hour finally stepped on stage, and all the spotlights were pointed on him. You watched him as he walked down from the high stage to the main stage, grabbing his guitar as said hello to everyone before strumming the first note. 

As you remembered, he was amazing on stage as he wore the same outfit as the album cover. He ignited the crowd with his charm and voice that left people in tears from being so overwhelmed by him. You felt overwhelmed as well; seeing him for the first time in a year and a half had made you quite emotional. 

You knew you wanted to go to Harry’s ‘One Night Only’ show when he first announced it. From keeping in contact with him, you figured you could keep in contact with updates of him, and what he’s up to these days. You streamed his music, watched his music videos, and stayed up late just to hear a snippet of him on the radio. You were always excited when you would get the notification on your phone of new pictures and videos of him because that was the only way you were able to see him. You found out that he had spent quite some time in Japan towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year. You really hoped he was doing okay. During the days of finding yourself, the thought of seeing him again had scared you, and you weren’t ready for that, so you waited until this day to see him. 

So, at the beginning of the week, you had texted Glenne that you wanted to go to the show, and she immediately said yes, putting your name on the list. You told her not to tell Harry just yet because you wanted to surprise him, and she was on board with the idea as was Jeff. 

They were both really supportive of you during your times sulking and growing, and Glenne had even visited you in Oregon to make sure you were okay and simply just missing you. You were really thankful for both of them because you knew that it was hard to see their two friends in pain, but you were glad that they supported your decision. Glenne had always known that you were in love with Harry, and you told her ever since you figured your feelings out. But you had made her swear on her life and Jeff’s that she wouldn’t say a word about it to anyone, not even Jeff (although Jeff saw it coming). 

“He’s going to be so happy to see you and know that you’re here,” Glenne said to you as the beginning of ‘Fine Line’ was starting. You thought the album was an  absolute masterpiece that was composed of beautiful lyrics, melodies, and emotion. You made sure to dance and cheer for the songs you didn’t know the words to extra loud, and you sang to the ones you knew without hesitation. You stayed up all night, listening to the album multiple times on repeat and trying to get the words down, and you were sure everyone did the same. 

As you listened to Harry sing the outro and the words ‘We’ll be alright’ coming out so effortlessly, you were reminded of your words to him as you left the hotel room. The song was quite hard hitting and you felt every inch of your skin cover in goosebumps. 

You practically lost your shit when Stevie Nicks came out and performed ‘Landslide’ with him, and when he sang ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’ while fake snow was falling from the ceiling. Before you knew it, Harry was in the middle of singing ‘Kiwi,’ and Glenne tapped your arm, telling you to follow her and you knew that you three were going backstage already. You felt butterflies in your stomach, feeling really nervous to see him again up close after a year and a half; and you only hoped that he was happy to see you as well. 

You heard the muffled final beat of the song as the crowd loudly cheered for him, telling him to do another song, but you knew that it was the end of the show. Jeff had walked way ahead of you both to grab Harry really quick, so he could point his attention towards you. Your hands were shaking as your arm was looped with Glenne’s as she provided physical support for you, holding you up, and continuously telling you that he’s going to be so ecstatic. 

Cheers erupted from the crew as everyone hugged each other, proud and happy of the success of Harry’s first show of his sophomore album. Once you were close enough, you could make out everyone’s faces. The band was there along with Harry’s friends and producers that had written the album with him. Finally, there was Harry; his back was facing you as he hugged Jeff, and Jeff gave you an amusing smile as he hugged his best friend. You heard him whisper into Harry’s ear, and Harry pulled back, saying, “What?” 

Jeff nodded, and Harry quickly turned around. His face was pulled into a shocked expression as his eyes widened and his body was practically frozen as he took in your presence. You smiled softly, waiting for him to say or do something because you didn’t know how he felt with you being here on his special night. 

Finally, he took two long strides towards you, pulling you in for a hug. Your body collided with his, and smiled into his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his tone body. 

“How are you?” You whispered in his ear as you practically felt him shaking in your arms. 

“I’m doing good. Better now,” he said softly. “What the fuck are you doing here, angel?” He chuckled, finally realizing that you were here in his arms. The sound of your pet name had widened your smile as your eyes watered; feeling so happy that you finally got to hear that name come from out of his mouth again. 

“Came to see you,” you said in his neck. He pulled back, looking at you in the eye before smiling like crazy as he took you in his arms again. He felt like he was on the moon; the overwhelming feeling of the feedback from the album, the show, and now finally getting to see you for the first time in a very long time—he truly couldn’t believe it, so he held you tight, not wanting to let you go as he felt like if he did, then you would vanish again. You felt his hesitancy or not wanting to let you go, so you whispered in his ear, “Hey, I’m here. Not leaving.” 

He eventually pulled back, and noticed everyone that gathered around you two, and smiles were on their faces with their hands over their hearts. They all had really witnessed Harry struggle the past year and a half; from song writing, recording, rehearsing, and just being present. They really saw Harry at his lowest, and now they're happy to finally see him happy now that you’re here. 

“I-I have to go meet some people and take some pictures, but do you think, uhm…” he trailed off, realizing that he might be acting too eager. 

“H, I’m right here. Do what you have to do, and I’ll wait for you, alright?” You told him with a smile, and he nodded. He didn’t want to walk away from you, but you knew that some people were waiting for him, so he had to leave. He gave you one last hug, which brightened your smile, and he walked down the hall of The Forum. “Stay in my dressing room!” He called out, and you laughed, remembering the talks and moments in his dressing room after his shows. 

Heading over to his dressing room, you stopped to say hi to everyone as they excitedly greeted you. You couldn’t believe that you were here again. The journey to get here was a struggle, but reuniting with everyone had made it so worth it—seeing Harry again was worth it, and you knew that you had to do it. 

After an hour of catching up with the crew and band, and sitting on his couch, mindlessly flipping through the pages of the Fine Line Booklet that contained pictures of Harry in the process of recording his album, he finally showed up. Sighing as he walked in from the rush of the entire day, once he saw your face again, he knew he wasn’t in the state of dreaming because you were really here. 

He took a seat on the couch next to you, taking your hand in his. He hesitantly raised your hand to his mouth and placed a kiss on the back of it; you smiled at the sweet gesture, caressing your thumb against his hand. 

“How are you, angel?” He asked, softly smiling as he was trying to contain his excitement that you’re finally here. 

“I’m good, H. I’m happy,” you said, and hearing that made Harry’s eyes glossy because that’s all he wanted from you. He wanted you to be happy; with yourself, with others, and with life. 

“I’m so glad to hear you say that,” he smiled, dimples poking out. You reached over to caress his cheek, rubbing his dimple out, and he turned his head to kiss the inside of your hand. 

“I want to hear everything from you--catch me up on everything?” He nodded eagerly, wanting that from you too. 

“Security said that the parking lot is empty now because they had to practically kick everyone out, so there’s no one out there, but what do you say we go out there and walk around the parking lot?” He suggested. It was almost midnight, and despite being exhausted and overwhelmed by this whole day, he’d rather stay up and talk for hours with you. 

“Are you sure? You’re not tired?” You asked, and he shook your head. 

“No, not at all. It’s been a year and a half since I last saw you. I want to spend time with you.”

“Okay, I’d like that,” you smiled, and he nodded, telling you that he was going to change really quick. He walked over to his duffel bag, grabbing some clothes before walking over to the changing room that was in his dressing room. Before he walked in, he turned around, facing you. 

“Hey.” You perked up, smiling. He missed your smile so damn much. “Your favorite flower is a baby pink peony,” he said before walking into the room. 

You were immediately taken back to the night when you had left when you had told him that he didn’t know what your favorite flower was, but all this time, he knew. He had always known. 

Walking towards the exit of the venue, the night was dark as the moon shined from up above you. With cold air rushing through you, you shivered, and Harry smiled next to you as you two walked through the emptiness of the parking lot. Before you two even spoke a word on how to go about having the ‘catch up’ conversation, you sensed Harry’s nervousness as he felt a bit hesitant with you because of the distance and time spent apart. But you wanted to remind him that you were the same person. You had the same feelings for him, and you really hoped he had some feelings for you too. 

So, you brushed your left hand against his right hand, cheeks flushed, and you interlock your fingers together, holding his warm ringed hand with your small one. 

This was it--this moment right here. This was where you were supposed to be. 

please come into my inbox and tell me how you’re feeling and what you thought of this! she was an emotional one :’)

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Wolf! Ateez: Trying To Get Close With Their Mate

Warnings: Mentions of forced servitude, prejudice, dealings with traumatic events, panic attacks, allusions to violence, mythical creatures and fantasy themes.

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❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰

Tired of being cooped up in the bed after days, you peeled the blanket off your body and started to get off. It was rather difficult since you were not fully recovered yet, but your wolf refused to stay still for so long in boring solitude.

"We did not escape from our old boring and strict life just to end up in a more boring one." She firmly stated, and you couldn't argue with her given that you yourself made the decision to leave your old home all on your own. Your wolf was merely an encouraging force for you.

You took small and slow steps, trying to get your legs adjusted to the feeling of walking again. Once you felt confident enough, you decided to make your way to the door, wanting nothing more than to go outside and breathe the fresh air. Taking hold of the doorknob, you turnt it but it proved to be rather difficult to open the door. Using what little strength you had, you pressed your body against the wooden frame, a terrible idea given it busted open immediately, sending you toppling down into the hallway. Luckily for you, Hongjoong's wolf had sensed that you were moving about and he decided to go check on you, glad he did since he was able to catch you before you had a nasty fall.

"Now what exactly possessed you crazy girl to start running around when you're supposed to be in bed?" Instead of scolding you, Hongjoong tilted his head at you, an amused smile on his face.

"I just...... it got boring inside those four walls. I wanted to go outside."

Hongjoong tongue poked against his cheek at your response, a pensive look on his face. Before you could even comprehend it, he had swooped you up in his arms and began carrying you out, your face flushed in embarrassment.

"Why didn't you just say so? I would have brought you out a lot sooner."

Your face brightened up along with your spirits when the sunlight cascaded down at you, the light breeze that was flowing through on that cool spring day felt truly invigorating. You loved this, loved the feeling of freedom nature gave you, and so did your wolf. Without even thinking twice about the consequences, you quickly shifted into your wolf form, surprising Hongjoong as he tried to hold you back but ultimately you jumped out of his hands and started running out into the deep part of the gardens. He shook his head in a disapproving manner, arms folding over his chest.

"She really is a crazy girl, running amok even though she's not fully healed." He let out an exhausted sigh that didn't last long as his worried frown soon turned into an admiring smile for you. He loved seeing the free spirit in you.

"Well? Are you just gonna stand there grinning like an idiot or are you going to go join her?" His wolf snapped him out of his trance.

Chuckling softly, Hongjoong shifted as well, eagerly running up to you and joining you, getting a little overexcited as he accidentally pounced on top of you, tackling you onto the ground.

"Oof!" You hissed when the weight of his wolf pinned you down.

"Oh my- I'm so sorry my dear. I don't exactly have full control in this way." He apologized as he immediately got off you.

Sitting up, you shook out your fur from the accumulated dirt.

"Don't worry...." Lunging at him, now it was his turn to be pinned down by you, an action that both surprised and thrilled him. He couldn't help but become giddy when you nuzzled your face against his neck.

"Neither do I."

❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪

With the most disgruntled look on your face, you were about to knock on Seonghwa's door but in the end you didn't need to since the man himself opened it before you could even touch the handle.

"I smelled you coming all the way from the corner. Forgive me, I couldn't wait to see you." He admitted shyly, the eager smile on his face refusing to go away.

Clearing your throat, you straightened out your apron and kept your gaze to the floor, a rule all of you had to abide by: never looking at your masters in the eye, or any wolf for that matter.

"Please excuse me Mr. Park, I'll try not to be in your way."

Seonghwa looked at you in confusion when you simply passed by him, not sparing him a glance and headed straight to his bed, hands already stripping off the linen off the mattress. You were so engrossed in your task, trying hard to ignore him that you didn't notice he had come up behind you until one of his hands took hold of your wrist and spun you around. That physical contact sent you into a panic as it reminded you of the time you were being dragged out of your village, your frantic screams falling on deaf ears as your family burned to the death along with the house.

"Get off me!" You exclaimed, your fists immediately balling up and pushing Seonghwa away. He was utterly clueless as to why you were acting that way and in his foolish attempt to comfort you, he ended up making things worse.

"Y/N, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you." He insisted as he neared you once more. Seeing you so distressed prompted him to try and embrace you, but it just further agitated you, his close proximity feeling overbearing and suffocating.

"I don't believe you! You're all the same! You're all cold blooded killers who don't care about anything! So don't fucking touch me!" You shouted, tears pouring out of your eyes as you tried to escape his grasp.

"Seonghwa stop! Cant you see you're only causing her more distress, leave our mate be!" His wolf chastised him, growling at the man as he continued to hold her. But Seonghwa wasn't listening, he still tried to calm you down.

"Y/N I care about you! Can't you see I love you? You're my mate, I would never hurt-"

The slap you landed across Seonghwa's cheek was hard enough to not only hurt him but to also stun him immensely that he let go of you. He stared at you in shock.

"Y/N.... why...how could you?" He was in disbelief as he grew up being told that mates could never bring themselves to hurt each other. And yet you didn't hesitate to. Instead of the love filled face you were supposed to have, you looked at him with disgust and pure rage, your sobs coming out with choked breaths as you fought hard to contain an ensuing panic attack.

"I told you from the beginning.... I hate you and your kind. Your kind murdered my family, destroyed my home and took away my life to serve yours and make it as comfortable as possible..... how could you possibly believe I'll ever love someone like you?"

With that, you stomped away, refusing to stay with him any longer, leaving him wondering just what did you mean.

❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸

Having woken up before the sun had even risen, you quickly threw on your cloak and wrapped it around your frame. Greeting the guards that were stationed by the front gate, you quickly made your way out of the palace and out into the forest that surrounded the castle.

"Good morning."

You were startled when you suddenly heard someone speak up behind you, making you whip your body around sharply. Being so scared and on edge, you inadvertently raised your hand and sent out one of your many defense spells, its green glow lunging out and nearly hitting the person responsible for your agitation, who was none other than Yunho himself. Being a creature of senses, Yunho dropped to the snow filled ground as quickly as he could, the blast coming out from you instead hitting the tree behind him, leaving a burnt hole straight through the thickest part of it.

Standing up and brushing the snow off him, Yunho stared at the tree before looking back at you, taking a step back when he noticed your glowing green eyes.

"Is this a good time to shift and run away from you?" He questioned you, hands up in the air.

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you took a deep breath and returned your eye color to its normal hue.

"You really shouldn't sneak up on us like that. When we aren't in control of our emotions, we can't control our powers and could cause unnecessary accidents." You explained with a rather annoyed tone.

"Accidents? You literally vaporized that poor tree for no reason-" Yunho's mouth dropped as he realized what could have happened to him.

"Oh my god! You really tried to kill me?"

Groaning, you pinched the bridge of your nose.

"What are you even doing here?"

Coming closer to you, Yunho smiled.

"I told you, I'm going to make you fall in love with me. I can't do that if I don't spend time with you."

Raising an eyebrow at him, you scanned him up and down, trying hard to read his aura, finding it bright and full of positivity.

"You're serious about this? You barely met me." You tried reasoning with him.

Yunho shrugged.

"To you it seems impossible because you're not used to it, but it's completely natural for us. To have one mate destined for us and recognize them at first glance...... so yes I've just met you, now will you let me get to know whom I've fallen in love with?"

You kept thinking to yourself how foolish he seemed to be. But you had to admire his dedication and commitment. Yunho's smile fell from his face when you said nothing and turned away from him, resuming your morning walk. He looked around awkwardly, wondering if you really just left him hanging there so cruelly. He was just about to go back inside when he suddenly heard your voice behind him:

"Well are you coming or not pup?"

❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰

It was day 2 of being confined inside your mate's home and honestly, sometimes you preferred he or one of his other pack members would have rather killed you off. Yeosang tried his best to make you feel welcomed, offering to spend time with you or suggesting you explore his rather spacious and cozy home, but you refused each time. Just because he was tied to you did not mean you were ok with the fact he and his pack killed off your own and were now forcing you to become a prisoner with them.

Hearing the door creak, you didn't even look or move away from the window sill you were currently sitting on.

"You know, if you wanna go outside all you have to do is ask me." You heard a chair's legs being scraped against the wooden floor. Placing the chair right in front of you so he could be facing you, Yeosang sat down with a bowl of fruit in his hands.

"What will be the point in that if I'd have to be handcuffed for it? Honestly, if you're going to treat me like a criminal I might as well just stay in here." You angrily spat out.

Yeosang wasn't going to answer to that. He himself felt it was unfair the restrictions they placed on you. Knowing he could do very little, he at least tried to make sure you were well fed. Picking up the fruit bowl, he placed it in front of you.

"You haven't eaten anything since you got here. So could you please?" His tone was practically pleading at you.

Looking down at the food, you sighed and placed it back on his hands. Just because you didn't want it didn't mean you were going to be rude and throw it on the ground.

"No thank you."

Yeosang opened his mouth to speak, but ultimately shut it. He was getting tired of your stubborn nature refusing to accept even the smallest of gesture he tried to offer you.

"All right..... I guess you left me no alternative..."

Taking advantage of the fact you weren't looking, he grabbed one of the strawberries and carefully placed it in his mouth before standing up. Feeling him come close, you turned to ask what he was doing but your words got caught in your mouth when Yeosang suddenly swooped down and grabbed the back of your neck, forcing the strawberry to be caught inside your mouth. Pulling back, he had the most smug smile you had seen, making you blush as you realized he indirectly kissed you.

"Now my stubborn mate, will you be good for me and actually eat or am I going to have to feed you mouth to mouth each piece of fruit?"

You quickly shook your head and swallowed the strawberry before picking up another one and downing it as well, trying hard not to look at Yeosang, who was still grinning.

"I'll go get you some toast."

As soon as he was out of your sight, he started giggling under his breath as he recalled your flustered expression, his wolf praising him for being so bold.

"It was about time you grew balls."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷

Although it was rather unexpected to have you come back home so early, and not alone for that particular reason, your parents were more than thrilled to find out that you had finally met your mate and gave him the friendliest welcome to your home. San was naturally charming, kind and a total sweetheart, so your parents instantly loved him and thanked the universe that you two were paired up.

Seeing how lovestruck you both seemed to be, your parents insisted he stayed a few days with them, to which San adamantly refused, not wanting to be a burden, but he could not win against the persistence of your parents. Having remembered how they felt when they met each other, they wanted you two to spend as much time together as possible, knowing fully well you two wouldn't bear being separated for too long when the time came, especially since San lived far away from your hometown.

Laying under the covers of the warm blanket, San twisted and turnt on the bed of the guest room, unable to fall asleep. He kept writhing around, alternating between kicking the blanket off him before wrapping himself into it again. He began to wonder if maybe you were also having trouble sleeping. Unable to stay there any longer, he got up and crept out of his room, tiptoeing his way over to the door of your room.

"Don't, you idiot. If you get caught, her parents will skin you alive." His wolf chastised him, snarling lowly when San's hand began turning the handle.

"Will you please calm down? I'm not planning on doing any of that stuff you're thinking. I just.....wanna see her."

Letting out a scoff, his wolf clicked his tongue.

"I inhabit your body, I know what you think and what you feel. I call bull."

Ignoring the annoying beast, San carefully made his way inside to your bed, trying hard not to disturb you as he noticed you were peacefully sleeping. He couldn't resist himself as he reached a hand out to stroke one of your cheeks, heart fluttering when you unconsciously pressed your face closer to his touch.

"God she's so beautiful...." San whispered softly.

You stirred softly when you felt something pressing itself against your jaw and neck, making you flutter your eyes open. You let out an involuntary smile when you saw that it was San nuzzling his nose against your skin.

"Just what are you doing?" You asked him, stifling a giggle when you felt him breathe into your sensitive skin.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm scenting you." He responded, crawling further on the bed until he was resting on top of you. Once he was done, he sat there, eyes staring intensely into yours. He swallowed harshly before asking:

"Do you mind if I stay with you? I promise I won't try anything. I just don't think I can sleep without you nearby."

Melting at his puppy eyes, you reached a hand up and gently brushed out some of his hairs.

"Ok." You leaned up and kissed his nose, making San momentarily blush crimson. Patting the space next you, he quickly got under the covers and didn't hesitate to wrap you in his arms.

"Just be sure to leave to your room before my parents wake up." You yawned as you rapidly fell asleep again. Feeling a little brave, San repeated your previous action on you, kissing the tip of your nose.

"Good night my sweet mate."

❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲

Removing the old bandages and discarding them in the trash, Mingi carefully applied some more ointment on your wound.

"Well so far no sign of infection or anything abnormal. So I'd say so far you are healing quite nicely." He smiled brightly at you.

"But obviously not as fast as you or any other wolf would." You shrugged.

"Take into account we're different species Y/N."

Measuring out the exact length of gauze he needed, Mingi carefully wrapped them around your ankle, making sure it wouldn't be too constricting to hurt you yet not loose for it to come undone by the slightest of movement.

"Can I ask you something?" You piped up.

"Anything." He replied as he began to help you put your shoe back on.

"Why are you helping me? Like genuinely speaking we have no connection between us and we're still complete strangers.... so why are you doing all this? You have nothing to gain from helping me."

Mingi halted his movements momentarily, debating whether or not it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you about how you and him were mates. His wolf was definitely desperate as he whined inside of him.

"Tell her! Now's your chance! What are you waiting for?"

Mingi wanted to tell you, but he wasn't even sure you knew what wolfs meant when they talked about mates. Perhaps it was a foreign concept to you. He ultimately decided it still wasn't the best time, but he had to come up with an answer for the time being.

"I could gain a friend if you're willing to get to know me so we won't be strangers no more." He offered as he finished tying your shoelaces.

"A friend? Really? You want us to get friend zoned? Oh gosh you're an even bigger fool than I thought." His wolf groaned.

You eyed him suspiciously, trying to read through his expression.

"What's the catch?" You questioned him, to which Mingi shook his head.

"No catch, I just want to spend time with you."

Raising an eyebrow, you crossed your arms over your chest.

"You've kept me inside your house all this time, how much more time could we possibly spend together?"

Realizing you were right and no doubt tired of seeing the same walls everyday, Mingi decided it would be good for you to see the place he lived in. And it was perfect timing given that a traveling fair had recently came there. You could both have fun and perhaps you'd be more comfortable around him and his kind.

Shifting positions, he turned his back to you and waved a hand.

"Hop on."

You states at him as if he was crazy.

"What?"

"Get on my back, we're going somewhere I think you'll like." He explained.

Reluctant to trust him yet curious about where he was planning on going, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and allowed him to take hold of your legs and place them on his waist.

"Wait! Please don't tell me you're going to shift into a wolf and run with me on your back." Mingi chuckled when you said that.

"I mean I could if you want-"

"Please don't! I prefer your normal human form. Your wolf form is terrifying." You refused to let him finish that suggestion.

"Somehow I feel offended." Mingi's wolf huffed, yet Mingi himself just giggled as he began walking out of the house, taking precautions so as to not drop you.

"Trust me, soon you'll see wolfs are nothing short of being big puppies......."

❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰

Wooyoung groaned as the voice on the other end sent him straight to voice mail.

"Why won't she pick up?" He muttered angrily as he redialed the phone number.

"Oh I don't know, do you think perhaps it might have something to do with the fact you were being a horn dog and sniffing out other bitches when you're supposed to only look at our mate?" His wolf reprimanded him with a passive aggressive tone.

"Shut up, who the fuck asked you?" He spat out.

"Who else is around moron? Obviously you have no one to talk to but me." His wolf retorted.

"You're being a bigger dick than usual." Wooyoung pointed out. When the phone went to voice mail once more, he got beyond angry and threw it on the couch.

"I'm not being a dick, that would imply being an unfaithful and hormone raged fuckboy like you. And if I'm being hostile with my approach to you..... it's cause you might have ruined our chances with our mate and I'm feeling it!" The beast growled intensely with a ferocious nature that Wooyoung didn't think he was capable of producing.

"I'm the one bearing that aching need and want to be with our mate, not you, you selfish bastard. Oh if only I could separate myself from this body, I would tear your limbs off one by one!"

Wooyoung's stomach lurched, not just because the wolf was actually starting to scare him, but also because he did indeed feel utterly guilty and horrible for doing that to you. Picking up his phone again and grabbing his car keys, he decided it was time to fix things.

"Where are you running off to now?! I'm not done yet!" His wolf barked at him.

"Loosen up your knots mate, you're getting what you want. We're going to see Y/N." Wooyoung explained, immediately making the wolf ecstatic.

"Oh please. You won't admit it....but you wanna see her too."

Ever since the incident that happened you were in a pissy mood, angrily doing your chores around your house without enthusiasm or much care. Indeed, the dishes were getting aggressively cleaned by how hard you were scrubbing them.

"Stupid, lying, ungrateful, unloyal horn dog." You spatted out whilst slamming the dishes on the drying rack.

"Don't say that about him." Your wolf whimpered, still hurt over what had happened.

"I can say whatever I want about that ass-"

The doorbell rang before you could even finish your sentence. Groaning loudly, you wiped your soapy hands on your apron and stomped over to the door. When you opened it up and saw who it was, your mood darkened even more.

"Hey... I brought you these-"

Ripping the flowers off Wooyoung's hands, you didn't hesitate to start snacking him with them, the poor petals crumbling on the floor.

"You dirty, cheap, lying-"

You couldn't even bring yourself to finish saying anything. You simply dropped the rest of the murdered flowers on the ground and went back inside, slamming the door behind you. Wooyoung knew you were still there, he could feel and smell your scent from behind the door. That same scent that was becoming intoxicating for him. Pressing his ear to the door, he made out what seemed to be a sniffle coming out from you, making him regret his actions even more.

"Y/N? If you could please hear me out, I want to apologize to you properly for what happened. But I can't do that unless you open the door."

He knew you definitely heard him, yet still made no move. He wasn't giving up though. Turning so he could lean against the door, he let out a long sigh.

"I'll stay here as long as it takes."

❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸

You nervously walked alongside Jongho, keeping close to him as you looked up at the building in front of you. Sensing your apprehension, Jongho gently patted your head.

"Hey it's all right. Nothing is going to happen ok? They just want to ask you a few questions that's all."

You nodded and allowed him to guide you inside the facility. Being overwhelmed by seeing so many people around, your instinct was to cling onto one of his strong arms, which he actually didn't mind you doing. He simply cleared his throat as he fought back the smile threatening to take over his features. Coming up to the room where you needed to be, Jongho simply walked in, already knowing the person on the other side was waiting.

"Ahh Jongho. Right on time. I take it this....is the human?" A cold looking young man around Jongho's age asked as he pointed to you.

"Yes, this is Y/N." Turning his attention back to you, Jongho gestured to the person sitting on the chair. "Y/N, this is my friend Yeosang. He's only going to ask you a few questions and then be done. Don't be scared, I'll be right outside the door waiting for you."

Your grip on him tightened when you felt him move away.

"Wait! You won't be here to...?"

Jongho shook his head, gently prying off your hand off him.

"You'll be fine. Trust me ok?"

Feeling assured with him, you nodded and watched him walk out of the room. Yeosang gestured for you to take a seat across from him, offering you some of the candy he had in a bowl near his desk, which you refused. Humming a small tune, Yeosang picked up a notepad and pen, adjusting his glasses before he began.

"So Y/N is it? Cute name, cute face." You flushed at his compliment.

"You know I'm really curious to know where you're from. Where were you born? Who are your parents?"

It wasn't an unusual question to be asked, many people had asked that before, but it never got any easier for you to answer that.

"I don't.... I don't know..... I came to the conclusion that my parents either didn't want me or died when I was very young....."

Yeosang nodded, scribbling away something that you couldn't quite see.

"How is it that you came to live with the wolf couple in your old hometown?"

You relaxed more with the second question.

"They've always been in my life for as long as I can remember. I practically grew up with them."

Stopping his writing for a minute, Yeosang rested his chin on one hand.

"Were you fond of them?"

The mere question lightened your mood. Before you knew it you began rambling on about how much you adored them and all the wonderful things they did for you. Yeosang himself seemed amused by your change of mood.

"They were all I had until-"

Your mind started racing, going back to that horrific day when everything was ripped away from you. You started hyperventilating as it started to become difficult for you to breathe, your sight fading in and out. Feeling your agitation, Jongho quickly rushed in and tried to hold you, but Yeosang held up a hand, making him stop in his tracks.

"She's having a panic attack due to PTSD, I suggest not to touch her or else you'll make it worse."

Trusting Yeosang, Jongho stepped back and watched him gently calm you down, assuring you that you were going to be fine and that nothing was going to happen to you. Yeosang gestured for Jongho to grab him one of the water bottles in the fridge, which he promptly did. Knowing your hands were too shaky, Yeosang lifted the water to your lips, tilting your head back so you could drink it. Although it was hard for you to swallow, you managed to gulp most of it down, a strange feeling of calmness starting to overtake you. So much that you didn't even realize you fell unconscious.

"What the fuck did you do to her you mad scientist?!" Jongho exclaimed as he ran over and picked up your sleeping body.

"Calm down, she'll only be knocked out for a few hours, nothing major." He explained as he studied the water bottle you had drunk from. With a smile, he held it out for Jongho to see.

"And we managed to get a DNA sample."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

[mercy-burning]

Cold Feet

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After receiving a letter from an old flame just days away from her wedding, Reader wonders if she should call it all off. —Inspired by the song Cold Feet by Tenille Arts Category: Angst (happy ending) Content Warnings: An almost kiss that isn’t with Reader’s fiancé, and blink and you’ll miss it implied smut Word Count: 1.7k

MASTERLIST | Alternate Version/Ending of Cold Feet

NOTE: When @meganskane announced her 700 follower celebration I just knew this idea would be the perfect way to implement one of the prompts she gave! The one I chose is “quit looking at me like that” ❤

Also! Fun fact: this song opens with “they’re all set to go on the 18th of June”, and that’s today, so it’s festive 😊)

***

She should be happily wrapped in a dream, Dying to kiss him and put on his ring. So why is she walking alone after midnight, Down a small town street, with cold feet?

Y/N is currently finding it difficult to breathe.

It was easier a couple days ago when she knew exactly what she wanted. Her husband-to-be was more than excited to marry her, and she'd reciprocated that feeling entirely. Everything was ready to go. Truthfully, they could have gotten married right this second if that's what they wanted, that's how ready to go they were.

But now? She was questioning everything.

She still feels the thin paper in her hands, even with its folded body currently tucked away in an old book she knew was never going to be opened again— a gift from the man who'd written the letter in the first place.

The first time she read it, her heart sank. And by the third time she'd read it, her heart soared.

And then her fiancée walked in, asked her about what to make for dinner, and her heart sank all over again.

Honestly, damn him for choosing now to finally confess. Damn him for making her question everything, after she'd finally moved on and found someone who would always be around.

But then again, she'd ended up choosing to live in a house in their hometown, just blocks away from that creek he'd mentioned in his letter. So... Maybe she hadn't moved on entirely

She hated that she even had to think about it.

She hated that her thoughts were so consumed with this man she hadn't seen in years when the man she was about to marry slept next to her every night, unaware of the start to her inner turmoil. Each night since then, she dreamt of dances with both of them, alternating between the two until they made her choose which of them she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And every morning she'd wake with an even bigger tear in her heart than when the old flame had burned it alive and left her alone in the aftermath to piece it back together.

Her fiancée helped her do that, though. Day by day he taught her to love again, to trust in somebody again, and he was truly a good man.

So why was it absolutely destroying her, thinking of getting married to him when there was someone else in the picture to think about? Someone who'd had a hold on her for well over fifteen years?

Again, she hated that she even had to think about it.

But she wasn't about to get married with all these conflicting thoughts, so whether she wanted to or not, her only real option was the one that would also be the hardest on her tattered heart.

She'd sent him a text message this morning that read, Midnight, and tucked her phone away for the rest of the day, drowning herself in mindless work and looking to keep time moving forward.

Now, she struggles to breathe as she makes her way down to the creek.

It's cold, having just rained fifteen minutes prior, and she wraps her fiancée's cardigan tightly over her her arms, searching for warmth and comfort. She would have settled for one of her own, heavier pieces, but in some strange way she thought maybe having something there that belonged to her fiancée would ground her, something to remind her of the gravity of the situation at hand.

Nothing could have grounded her upon seeing her ex boyfriend after all these years, though, especially when she finally shows up to their old spot and sees him perched on the big stump right next to the water, relief and joy flooding through his features at the sight of her. His smile is just as bright and familiar as she remembered, and it just about knocks the wind out from under her feet.

"Hi, Y/N," he greets softly, standing up and stretching his hands out over his legs. It's obvious that he's nervous to meet up with her after all these years apart, and she couldn't blame him in the slightest.

She's just as nervous as her feet take baby steps towards him. Meanwhile she's hugging her fiancée's cardigan around her body tighter than before. "Hi..."

"I... I can't believe you actually wanted to meet. Truthfully I thought I wouldn't hear back from you."

"Well... Your letter kind of rattled me... You rattled me. I guess I just had to know..."

There's a long pause before he takes a small step towards her and tilts his head. His words are hesitant, like he thinks she might say something he doesn't want to hear. "And... What do you know?"

"I know that I love my fiancée. After you, I didn't really think I'd ever love anyone the same way again, but... He makes me happier than I've ever been, and I... I can't just discard that feeling because you decided too late that you still love me. You know?"

"I do, Y/N, I really do," he answers earnestly, and this time his hand reaches out to grab hers. "But... I mean, you showed up here, didn't you? That has to count for something..."

She isn't really sure how to respond after that. It's true that seeing this man in front of her for the first time in years has brought back a wave of feelings that she'd repressed and even experienced with someone new.

But it's also true that with those feelings comes an inevitable aftertaste of bitterness. He'd left her, decided ultimately that his career was more important to him, and now that she has someone new he's asking her to leave behind this peace she's found. And for what? For him? What's to stop him from leaving again, or deciding years or months down the road that he'd made a mistake and gotten her to leave her one shot at happiness after him?

Nonetheless, she sits with him for hours, listening to him explain... Giving him a chance.

He apologizes for the past, he promises to do better in the future, and in between he makes her laugh. Their hands brush, their breaths mingle as they huddle from the cold, and with every passing minute, the cardigan on her shoulders becomes looser and more forgotten.

Slowly but surely, he's lowering her defenses and gaining her trust. He's showing her bits and pieces of the man she fell in love with until they're laughing at close to 3am.

And then, for a moment, it's quiet. Absolutely quiet, save for the crickets and the soft rolling of the creek behind them.

Y/N almost lets him kiss her then.

But then her heart hammers in her chest, and not in a good way. Suddenly, she's imagining the pure heartbreak that would surely manifest on her fiancée's face if he found out- if she really decided to leave him for this old flame that had barely started to kindle once again years later.

She has to be absolutely certain of her decision.

So she pulls back and wraps her fiancée's cardigan tightly around her arms. "I should go home."

There's disappointment in his eyes, and it twists her gut a little. "Right... Um... I-I can take you back, if you want."

"No, I, uh... I think I'm gonna walk. I have to think."

Y/N avoids his gaze just quickly enough that she doesn't see the disappointment in his eyes fizzle into a tiny sliver of hope.

Rain on the sidewalk, doubt in her mind. One thing's for sure, she's running out of time To decide what's right, And who's heart she's willing to break.

She climbs into bed some time later, the cardigan still wrapped tightly around her body, and she can't quite bring herself to face the man sleeping next to her. It feels wrong, like somehow she's betrayed him by even thinking of spending the rest of her life with another person. She doesn't feel worthy of his love.

When she wakes up the next morning, she'd somehow ended up facing him anyway. He's staring at her with adoring eyes, and under his gaze she can't help the guilt that washes over her.

"Quit looking at me like that..."

Her words are grumbly and soft because of having just woken up, and because her face is half hidden behind blankets and his cardigan, her fiancée doesn't know anything is wrong.

Instead, he laughs. "What, you're beautiful... And before you start arguing with me, yes, you're even beautiful when you wake up."

She only grumbles, feeling anything but.

It's quiet for a moment or two before he speaks again. "You're wearing my cardigan..."

Peeking her eyes out from the mountain of fabric, she can see the enchantment in his eyes and it makes her warm. "I was cold..."

While true, she mostly means I had cold feet.

"Come here."

Two simple words, two syllables, and yet it's the softest declaration of love she's ever heard. Her body instinctively nestles into his, face going straight into the crook of his neck while he wraps her up in his arms.

"There," he says, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "You feel warmer yet?"

"Mhm..." She sighs into his skin and then takes in a deep breath.

He smells like home.

He feels like home.

And as he starts softly humming her favorite song, rubbing soothing circles into her back as he holds her close, Y/N wonders why she'd ever doubted her love for him.

He is home.

James never was.

Y/N burrows herself further into Spencer's body and plants a gentle kiss to his neck, shivering slightly at the way his curly locks tickle her temple.

He stops humming and laughs. "What are you feeling for breakfast?"

"Hmmm... You." She articulates her point by selfishly kissing his neck, reminiscent of Cookie Monster.

Pretty soon, the two of them are laughing together, limbs tangling and breaths mingling, and then an hour and a half later they're in the kitchen, sipping on coffee.

As its warmth radiates through her throat and chest, Y/N studies him from across the room. He flips through pages of a book as he drinks his coffee, and for a brief moment, his eyes flick up to see her staring.

The action brings a smile to both their faces, and Y/N has never felt happier.

She's never felt more loved.

***

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