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Accepting that im just not gonna have a tomorrow bc im gonna be waking up Hella late and then going to work and then it will be night time but OH I'm closing with 2 of the best ppl to close with so like hell yea for that
#speculation nation#me @3am: i need to go to bed (repeat x10)#me @5am: haha yea so uh#it's okayyyyyyyy this just means no writing brain for tomorrow either which Pbbht but im hoping that next week will work better for that#and like coming weeks in general bc a: no school for now! hahahaa and also b: money stress no longer as stress! genuinely good!#like listen ive never been in truly dire situation or whatever bc i got ppl to turn to for money if i need to#but that's like kinda humiliating to have to ask them for money when i know i cant really return it#i prefer to live by my own income as much as i can. for pride's sake i guess.#like i may be an absolute mess in comparison to my sister but i WILL NOT turn into my mom#aka asking for money from her adult daughter (my sister) on kinda a continuous basis last i heard#or idk if it's Continuous but she has before and i dont wanna ask for money from my Older Sister who is an engineer#cant imagine how my mom feels capable of asking her fucking Daughter for money#'but paying back for raising her 🥺' haha bullshit my mom barely even did that#ok im just rambling about shit at this point. what am i even doing here. i need to be in bed.#ultimately this is just another installment of 'FUCK U MOM I REFUSE TO TURN INTO YOU'#taken a melatonin it's 5 :24 am and i need to sleep. soon.
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