#ultimate dirk made me do it 2019

[therianomalocaris]

I am never beating the Dirk allegations

CONTENT WARNING: mention of system integration

Today is my birthday, and as always that means I am reflecting on myself and the ways I've changed throughout my life. Let's talk about my relationship to Dirk Strider and how I've started calling myself a "kinnie" despite hating the word.

There's a running joke in my friend group, that when I say certain things people respond "Okay, Dirk." and I pretend to be offended. This is of course in reference to the character Dirk Strider from Homestuck, my favorite guy that I study and rotate in my mind every single second of every day. They love doing it and I encourage it, and the more it happens the more I find myself reflecting on it.

I don't know how I feel about it.

I guess it feels good, and makes me feel seen, but having awakened as fictionkin many years ago I can't say it's the same kind of feeling as when people acknowledge me as my kintypes. But lately it has started to affect me.

I've talked in the past about how my BPD and alterhumanity intersect, namely that I have a very thin sense of self. A part of that manifested in me becoming a robot after a friend I'm very close to decided to acknowledge me as one, the statement ringing so true that I changed in accordance. I became someone else.

I do not label myself as robotkin(d) or machinekin(d), because a robot is simply a thing I am. Appending -kin(d) feels to me like i am putting distance between me and being a robot, because my kintypes are only parts of me. There is a me that would still exist if you took the anomalocaris or the Vriska or the Kevin out, but if you took the robot out I would be a fully different person. That's what it means to me, at least.

So is that what's happening to me right now? Am I, in a sense, in the process of becoming Dirk Strider through a similar chain of events? Well, yes, I believe I am.

But there is something else. An event I have put off reflecting upon, mainly because it wasn't a very fun time. In 2019, the Homestuck Epilogues dropped, and my system collapsed- I was already having an incredibly hard time in my personal life and the harshness of the text, triggering subject matter, and my altered state of mind due to having been drinking at the time all collided to create a trauma response in us that caused us all to integrate.

We all had to rebuild ourselves as separate people in the thirty minutes that followed, and in that moment I think I absorbed a non-insignificant portion of the very text that caused this to happen. I now believe my brain processed the event through the lens of Ultimate Dirk.

Unlike with my Vriska theriotype, I don't believe this caused me to actually become the character. Though both have similar origins as responses to trauma, Ult!Dirk was a framework my mind came up with to rebuild itself rather than a conscious choice I made to cope with a bad situation.

I did not feed this particular change for a long time, and when other people started doing it for me I was more puzzled than anything. I was genuinely a little offended at first, because the statement was factually wrong, but as time goes on it's starting to become true. It felt wrong for a long time, until it eventually... didn't.

For better or for worse, the word "kinnie" is the only one that I feel fits my current state with regards to this. I wish there was a better one, but it's the one that clicks- if being a robot is simply a truth about what I am, and my kintypes are part of me, then Ult!Dirk is currently one level removed from that. This is why the word is currently useful to me, not that I'm really happy about it.

I am fully aware that to a lot of people even admitting that's what I've been calling it makes me sound less serious about my alterhumanity, and I am actively looking for a better term. These birthday writings only reflect where I currently am in my life, even if it's messy, and this is where I am. Maybe by next year this will have changed, but only time will tell.

[dedicatedfollower467]

DAVE: dude did you just bark KARKAT: WHAT? NO I DIDN'T BARK. KARKAT: I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. DAVE: why would i bark KARKAT: WELL WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BARK??? DAVE: because youre having a mental breakdown KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A MENTAL GO FUCK YOURSELF?

I FUCKING LOVE DAVE AND KARKAT. EVERY TIMELINE. ANY TIMELINE. WHENEVER AND WHEREVER. DAVE AND KARKAT ARE THE BEST.

page: 6226

[rin-hanarin]

I wanted to share my history with dirkjohn and have a moment to appreciate them and how much of a long lasting investment I have in them, but it turned into a wall of text with some oversharing sprinkled on top haha.

TL;DR is I love dirkjohn a lot. It’s been three years for me, and I’m emotional because of how much everything surrounding it changed since 2017 and how positive its community is. You can now read the wall if you want.

My history with dirkjohn is so amusing now that I look back at it. So I binged Homestuck in a month back in 2015, but the very first upd8 I witnessed ruined that one thing I got very invested in. Gradually it got kinda unbearable to interact with the community in any way, because that thing I loved turned from very popular to something shameful all of a sudden, to the point when every mention of it was a hate comment of some kind. Then in 2016 Homestuck ended with Credits, and because I wasn’t in a great headspace at the time, I got disappointed in that thing that kept me interested after it was (technically) over. I convinced myself that my taste is just garbage in general and that things I love have no value, so I tried to leave behind this thing that turned from my absolute favourite to being one big stress source. And thennnn some time later I kinda. Invented dirkjohn for myself to cope with shit, because fuck everything ever including hateful comments, canon, common sense and opinions, I’m going to ship my best boys together.

At some point I found Romancing the Spitting Image of Your Ex,  and here’s where the fun starts, because it turned into this string connecting me to Homestuck and these two characters I loved so very much before. I think this fic was one of the first things that started the whole “Dirk and John help each other heal from depression” trope this ship has now? John’s struggle resonated with me very strongly, I literally cried every single time reading fics describing the same scenario with John having a breakdown, and then some just from thinking about him having a breakdown (made me consider some things about myself, you don’t usually do that, do you now.) Back to the fic though, it was the very first fic I subscribed to ever and I kept following it from update to update. Nothing was forcing me to read it, I wasn’t that interested in HS anymore other than Hiveswap, and yet.

So it kept updating for two years, and I kept reading it, and I remember nothing other than that lol. At some point Epilogues started, and I ignored them past the Prologue chapter, then later without context found out that Dirk offed himself, so I decided to not interact with those ever.

And then Dave’s route in Pesterquest happened (I think I stumbled upon his theme on youtube?), and it made me remember why I loved this one thing so much back in the day. I was so disappointed and upset because of how much shit it got for no good reason over past three years, but I think the whole route was written in such a way that made me remember what I liked the comic for? So I finished some drawings I didn’t want to touch for years for my favourite thing, and after that dirkjohn week 2019 happened, and I made an entry for each day feeling weird as shit because hey wait, nobody liked it before? It’s as rare as rare ship can get?

I don’t know what happened between that and March 2020, but I’ve read one more weirdly impactful fic that made me think of dirkjohn again, even though I hated Epilogues related stuff so very much for ruining Dirk twice now. I think I opened a third eye or some shit at some point, because after this fic I started drawing Ultimate!Dirk/John for pure hilarity of the concept I guess??? I think it was once again my way to cope, but it also brought to my attention the idea that everything I like might be valid in some timeline or another and I don’t actually need to justify anything about liking stuff and can just enjoy my shit without fear of being judged by strangers on the internet I don’t give a shit about. People actually liked my drawings, and ironically enough, I’ve never got as much feedback from anyone ever as I got from dirkjohn community on Twitter. I even got a positive response on coming up with a fankid/dirkjohn ectokid, which is just insane to me, because even though mentally I’m doing better now, I expect judgement. I think this whole wall of text above here explains why pretty good.

Here I am now, just read yet another dirkjohn fic that made me emotional. I love how much happened with this ship, the content actually exists now and it’s weird to remember having literally nothing other than a small bunch of fanart and this random ass shitpost event with shitty dirkjohn ads on the Homestuck website I guess? I don’t know where it can go from here, but right now I’m happy I have a drive to draw them and that there are at least some people who will like it.

[karkatraejepsen]

omg i'm not even halfway through the epilogue and im DYING

i literally have so many thoughts and feelings i need to sort through so brace yourself. for reference i've read up to meat 35 and haven't read any of candy yet. NO SPOILERS I HAVE NOT CHECKED TUMBLR OR TWITTER SINCE IT CAME OUT TO AVOID SPOILERS

anyway omg DIRK 😭😭 i was so conflicted and upset at what was going on with him at first. why is he acting like that??? this isn't the dirk i know??? sure he's flawed as all hell and can be manipulative at times but like... he knew he fucked up, he blamed himself completely, he fucking hated himself, and he thought all his friends deserved better than him. he loved his friends SO MUCH. that dirk would never talk about jake the way epilogue!dirk does. but like... this isn't fucking dirk. this is dirk becoming his ultimate self, which includes bro. dirk has the most to fear out of anyone of becoming his ultimate self. becoming like bro is probably his worst fear. it's so fucking tragic to think what past dirk would think to see this version of himself. oh god he would probably take it as confirmation that he's an inherently horrible person. i can't fucking handle this but it makes so much sense, just, fuck man.

ok on to john. honestly his death didn't hit me that hard cuz it feels, like, fake i guess? it feels wrong. like this is dirk fucking with the narrative. alt callie and dirk are both fucking with the narrative (callie as candy and dirk as meat? there's also the connection between dirk and lord english, and therefore caliborn as well) and neither side of the dichotomy is "right". i'm guessing we'll see more of alt callie fucking with the narrative in the candy route. someone in the discord i'm in posited the theory that we'll only see the "true" ending when hussie wrests back control of the narrative, and i really like that. dirk and callie are still fictional characters and not meant to have this much control of the story. both candy and meat are wrong; meat is too tough, candy too cloying, there needs to be a balance. that's kinda what i was thinking from the beginning when everyone was fighting over meat vs candy, and rose all but confirmed it. it's difficult for me to take any of the deaths in this route seriously when it all feels dark just for the sake of being dark. it feels like part of what is wrong with this route, and i'm sure i'll feel similarly about candy. it's all just *off*

i have a lot more thoughts about specific characters: roxy and callie are nonbinary! i gotta draw roxy with their new haircut. dave is super cool with being bi but still repressed as all hell about his feelings about karkat! the conversation where he opened up to roxy about figuring out his sexuality was soo good. i'm surprisingly all aboard the davejadekat train? theyre cute af together and i love that jade has been out doing her own thing, having threesomes, and not waiting around for dave and karkat to come to their senses. OH GOD VRISKA 😭😭 john and terezi fucked???? oh god the chapter where terezi opened up to john about her feelings for vriska made me cry so hard 😭 also i actually kinda like johnrezi - they've both lost so much and are so lonely and depressed and found some measure of comfort in each other. it was really sweet and sad. OH YEAH JAKE AND JANE ALMOST FUCKED WHAT??? reading this shit is so fucking surreal. i'm not sure if jake not being able to stop thinking about dirk while making out with jane is cuz he's still not over him, or if that was dirk using his narrative powers to exert influence over his thought proccess. the latter is pretty fucked up.

i also actually really like the format - i was a bit on the fence before because it's so different and the art style is such an important part of homestuck. but honestly actually reading the characters' thought processes and internal monologues is so fascinating and i think actually contributes to them feeling more grown up. it almost feels strangely intimate, because it's not something we've ever seen before. there was always so much implied and left out or left to the reader's interpretation, so it's really strange to see some of those blanks filled in - details about dirk and jake's relationship for example. even casual details like jade having her bras thrown over the couch felt so jarring. not in a bad way but so strange and different. it really feels like fanfic which i think is the point? idk it just feels right for what i think they're going for

idk man the epilogue is pretty upsetting but in a good way i think, at least if it's going where i think it is. i think all the character work is really interesting and i'm honestly just amazed that we're getting new homestuck content in 2019. and so much dialogue! that's what i was missing from the finale - excessively long pesterlogs. god i missed reading these characters' interactions.

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Weekly Blog Post #1 -Goodbye 2018 and Welcome 2019

1/11/2019

Dear Future me,

I’m a bit late starting this (which I have no excuse for), but the gist is that I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to make a blog post every week as a way to document and look back on all the good and possibly not good things happening in my life. There's no formula here, it’s mainly be just a free for all to talk about my week and the things I enjoy.

That being said, This first entry will be a bit different and quite a bit longer than normal, as I reflect back on the recently ended 2018. This year stretched on unusually long as Trumps Politics became a raging dumpster fire threatening a country wide collapse on a weekly basis, and authoritarian began spreading further throughout the rest of the World. For me personally, I

-wrote a 26 page thesis that I will never look at again

-graduated from UC with a Neuroscience degree

-served a term as a research assistant taking care of mice

-worked at then quit my job at Staples

-Got a job at the IRS

-Got suspended from my job at the IRS due to a government shutdown that is still in effect

-started dating for the first time (though no girlfriend as of yet)

-grew even closer to my friends as we typically hung out at least twice a week

-entered a DnD campaign

-Got suspended from playing said DnD campaign

-Discovered I like Sushi

-Went to my first concert since middle school (Panic! at the Disco and Hayley Kiyoko)

-Stayed at a cabin with my friends where we played strip jenga and got lost hiking in the woods for 8 miles in a thunderstorm

-Got a mysterious disease that lasted 2 weeks from said hike

-Grew my hair out then cut 10 inches off and donated it

-My best friend got engaged, My sister went to Sweden, and my brother moved to Toledo

-Watching my puppy Cocoa grow up (though we technically got her late 2017)

And probably a lot more that I can’t remember at the moment. As per usual I spent a lot of 2018 consuming media like the nerd that I am, so I’m going to spend the rest of this far too long entry ranking my favorite things I saw/read in 2018. These will be ranked by pure enjoyment, not overall quality, and aren't meant to be an objective best of list. I just want to talk about things I like. So:

Top 5 Movies

Honorable mention- Hereditary, a fantastic and deeply unsettling film that was one of the most emotionally charged viewing experiences I’ve ever had. It would be high on the list if I had actually watched in 2018, but I only just now watched it and had made the list before hand. Still, one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen.

5-Venom-Movie was a fucking mess but it was pretty fun. I love the concept of the Symbiotes.

4-A Quiet Place-A movie with almost no sound/verbal dialogue and a great sense of suspense

3-Black Panther-Amazing sense of Style, Amazing Villain, A great Cultural achievement  

2-Deadpool 2- Fantastic sense of humor, inventive fights, first big screen lgbt+ superheroes

1-Into the Spiderverse-Best animation I've seen in maybe a decade, Everything about this movie is surprisingly amazing, from the soundtrack to the character designs to the emotional resonance. This Movie can’t come out on DVD fast enough.

Top 5 Cartoons

Honorable Mention -Voltron-Disappointing Finale but 7th season had an amazing Keith/Shiro fight scene and Lotor, arguably one of the best characters in the series.

5-Rick and Morty-Not my favorite season but still smart, rewatchable, and unique episodes.

4-She Ra- Great characters and designs with the Catra/Adora conflict elevating the Series.

3-Bobs Burgers- Consistently good, funny, and relatable, My whole family enjoys it.

2-Steven Universe- Finally getting answers to alien plot, excellent art, plenty of lgbt goodness

1-Hilda-An incredibly inventive new series with a truly unique and empathetic fantasy world, adorable art, a wonderful mother-daughter relationship and some of my new favorite creature designs. The atmosphere this series creates is one I want to live in forever.

Top 5 TV Shows

Honorable Mention- Killing Eve, Like Hereditary I did not watch this until 2019, but I adored Villanelle’s strange psychopathy and the very lesbian tension between her and Eve.

Honorable Mention-The Haunting of the Hill House-Great character building episodes, neat effects, and a great building tension, an underwhelming finale brings it down a bit.

5-Stranger Things-Inferior to the 1st season but still great characters and interesting plot

4-Game of Thrones-Lots of plot contrivances but every episode was still massively entertaining.

3-Good Place-Genuinely great twist with creative ideas and a solid critique of moral philosophy

2-Dirk Gently-Batshit insane, quirky, hilarious, with absolutely amazing characters and writing.

1-Brooklyn 99-One of the best shows on TV, every episode is hilarious and heartfelt, I love every cast member. Ontop of having an amazing sense of humor, B99 is one of the most progressive shows on television, and continually address relevant issues in a tactful and good natured way.

Top 5 Anime

Honorable Mention-Zombieland Saga- a fun show with a creative spin on the idol genre, the heartfelt relations between the characters were a highlight, as was the presence of a trans idol.

5-Aggretsuko-Incredibly relatable with adorable and lovable characters.

4-Mo Dao Zu Shi-Unique setting with a great protagonist and a slow build gay romance

3-Devilman Crybaby-An unforgettable and highly enthralling experience, plus I’m gay for Miko

2-Megalo Box-Probably Deserves to be #1  for its fantastic sense of style, tension, amazingly choreographed fights, lovable protagonist and ‘Antagonist’, and incredible pacing.

1-Reincarnated Slime-This anime is just the ultimate escapist fantasy. Every week I look forward to watching the stupidly op and likable protagonist make friends with everyone he meets, build a peaceful city from scratch, overpower everyone with neat abilities, try his best to avoid conflicts, and comment on how hot everyone around him is. It's the equivalent of playing an RPG and doing every side quest you can to make everyone happy, I love it. It's just very Chill and pretty.

Top 5 Comics

Honorable Mention-Space Battle Lunchtime-Cute lgbt+ characters and fun concept, but short for now

5-Moonstruck-My ideal fantasy world with fun and vibrant fantasy designs and a highly diverse cast of lgbt+ characters, but only just beginning with a lot of room for further character development. 

4-Trust-fantastic art and an intriguing setting with a mysterious but interesting plot

3-MotorCity-Stylish protagonist with an adorable girlfriend and an interesting supernatural twist.

2-Saga-Creative and exciting space opera that introduces lots of likable characters and then kills them.

1-The Adventure Zone-My favorite Fantasy Story of all time getting translated into a visual medium. While the first Volume was not quite as good as the Podcast (Though I don’t believe that’s possible anyway), it still had much of the great humor and characters with some lovely art and a condensed story.

Top 5 Web Series

Honorable Mention- Game Grumps-Not sure if I want to count Lets Plays but this channel brings me so much joy. House Party, Doodle Doods, and the 10 Minute Power Hours were highlights.

5-Monster Pop-Great colorful character designs and complex character conflicts with ample lgbt+ content

4-Buzzfeed Unsolved-very interesting and weird events with hilarious commentary, the hosts have a great chemistry and play well off each other.

3-Their Story-My favorite lesbians, stylish, cute, and fun, wish it updated more often.

2-19 Days-Amazing slow build romances with incredibly fun characters and interactions, Grade A Homoerotic tension. 

1-Ava's Demon-Some of my favorite art and character designs in any Media, The plot is amazing and fairly unpredictable, I feel incredibly excited every time I see it has updated.

Well that’s all for now. Next time will be my favorite ships of 2018, as their were some interesting couples this year.

[newevents641]

Cup Pong Game Pigeon

Game Pigeon Cup Pong Android

Cup Pong Game Pigeon Not Working

20 cups, 2 balls, and 2 iPhones is all that you need to play the latest Gamepigeon iMessage game, “Cup Pong”. This game is a digital version of the popular party drinking game known as beer pong. The game is set up with 20 solo cups — 10 on each side– forming a pyramid. 4 cups in the back row, 3 in the next, 2 cups ahead, and a final.

When I was playing Cup Pong in Game Pigeon, I used Auto Touch to record a swipe I did for a cup. When I recorded the swipe, I got a cup. After that recording - I started a new game to test the recording and replay it to see if it would go in the same cup. After I played the recording, it didn’t go in the same cup.

GamePigeonDeveloper(s)Vitalii ZlotskiiInitial release13 September 2016; 4 years agoSize113.8 MB

GamePigeon is a mobile gaming app for iOS devices. The app was launched by the company Vitalii Zlotskii[1] on September 13, 2016, as a result of the iOS 10 update, which expanded how users could interact with the Messages app.[2][3] Thus, users could access and utilizes the features of the GamePigeon app while in the Messages app.[2]

Development and release[edit]

The app was released on September 13, 2016, coinciding with the launch of iOS 10.[3] The app was released for free,[4] although it includes in-app purchases to unlock additional items, such as pool cues.[5]

Games in the app[edit]

The following is a list of games which users can play within GamePigeon:

GamePigeon is a cool app that allows you to enjoy a collection of excellent two-player games on iMessage with your friends and family. It contains games such as 8-Ball, Poker, Gomoku, Sea Battle, and Anagrams. If you can’t download GamePigeon for some reason or you have downloaded it and it just doesn’t work, I will help you fix the problem in this article. No March Madness, no problem. Duke Athletics made history this week, becoming the first collegiate program to recognize GamePigeon's Cup Pong as an official varsity sport.

20 Questions

Anagrams

Archery

Basketball

Darts

Filler

Knockout

Mini Golf

Paintball

Tanks

Word Hunt

Sources:[6][7][8]

In 2016, Poker was cited as one of the games included in GamePigeon,[9][10] although it is not listed on the game's App Store description.[6]

Reception[edit]

GamePigeon has enjoyed commercial success, with VentureBeat noting that GamePigeon was ranked number-one in the 'Top Free' category of the iMessage App Store, six months after its release.[11] Critically, GamePigeon has been generally well received, being highlighted by online media publications early on shortly after the iOS 10 launch.[10] It has since been included on many 'best iMessage apps' lists.[3][8][11] Based on over 88,000 ratings, the game holds a 4.2 out of 5 rating on the App Store.[6] Julian Chokkattu of Digital Trends wrote 'GamePigeon should be like the pre-installed versions of Solitaire and Minesweeper that used to come with older iterations of Windows.'[8] On its launch day, Boy Genius Report included it on a list of '10 of the best iMessage apps, games and stickers for iOS 10 on launch day.'[2]The Daily Dot wrote, 'GamePigeon is easily the best current gaming option within iMessages.'[3]

8-Ball and Cup Pong have been particularly well received by media outlets.[12]The Daily Dot had specific praise for the app's billiards game: '8-Ball controls shockingly smoothly with your fingers, and there’s nothing quite like destroying a dear friend in poker.'[3] During his 2020 U.S. presidential campaign, Cory Booker was cited as playing the game with his family.[13]

In 2017, CNBC cited one teenager who expressed that GamePigeon was one of just a few reasons that those in her age range use the iMessage app.[14] The game has received particular positive reception for allowing introverted individuals to exercise a form social activity; similarly, the game was highlighted as a way to maintain social distancing guidelines during the COVID-19 pandemic.[7][15][16]

Influence[edit]

Snapchat released an in-message games app called Snapchat Games.[17]

As an April Fools' Day joke, The Chronicle, a Duke University newspaper, published that Duke's athletic program adopted Cup Pong as an official varsity sport.[18]

References[edit]

^Takahashi, Dean (October 20, 2016). 'Mastermind Studios launches Battle Bash strategy game on iMessage'. VentureBeat. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^ abcSiegal, Jacob (September 13, 2016). '10 of the best iMessage apps, games and stickers for iOS 10 on launch day'. Boy Genius Report. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^ abcdeBond, John-Michael (February 28, 2020). 'Text like a champ with these 5 free apps for iMessages'. The Daily Dot. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^Johnson, Khari (March 5, 2018). 'Google search results now available in Apple's iMessage app drawer'. VentureBeat. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^Dirks, Brent (December 7, 2019). '9 Best iMessage Games and How to Play Them With Your Friends'. MakeUseOf. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^ abc'GamePigeon on the App Store'. Apple Inc. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^ ab'Here's How I'm Hosting a 'Social Distancing Cup Pong Tournament' This Weekend'. WPST. 2020. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^ abcChokkattu, Julian (August 18, 2017). 'Own an iPhone 7? Try these 15 iMessage apps, sticker packs, games for iOS 10'. Digital Trends. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^Vorhees, John (December 23, 2016). 'My Favorite iMessage Apps and Sticker Packs of 2016'. MacStories.net. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^ abPullen, John Patrick (October 18, 2016). 'The Ultimate Guide to Apple's New Messages App'. Time. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^ abJohnson, Khari (March 20, 2017). 'Forget stickers: iMessage's top 15 apps and games'. VentureBeat. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^Bell, Killian (September 3, 2019). 'Apple has no plans to scrap iMessage apps and games'. cultofmac.com. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^'2020 Presidential Democratic Candidates Reveal Their Pop Culture Favorites'. E! Online. July 18, 2019. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^Castillo, Michelle (February 28, 2017). 'Teens explain how they really use Snapchat and Instagram, and why Facebook still matters'. CNBC. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^Rao, Emma (March 10, 2020). 'Revisiting introversion and extroversion: Learning from each other, part 2'. The Tufts Daily. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^Webb, Jack (March 24, 2020). 'People are reviving iMessage games during self-isolation - here's how to find them'. Evening Standard. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^Sherrill, Cameron (March 31, 2020). 'The 15 Best Mobile Games to Wile Away Hour After Hour Playing in 2020'. Esquire. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

^'Duke Athletics adds GamePigeon 'Cup Pong' as official varsity sport'. The Chronicle. April 1, 2020. Retrieved April 4, 2020.

Retrieved from 'https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=GamePigeon&oldid=984721791'

The Chomicle

No March Madness, no problem.

Duke Athletics made history this week, becoming the first collegiate program to recognize GamePigeon's Cup Pong as an official varsity sport. The decision will cost the University $5 million in scholarships, licensing fees, equipment and more, but it comes at a time when the country yearns for athletic competition, in whatever form it may take.

“COVID-19 has forced the University’s hand,” Director of Athletics Kevin Spite said. “Nobody cares about basketball anymore. Duke is, and always will be, about The Pong.”

A reckoning some say has been long coming, Duke has announced its decision amid efforts to recruit and train some of the most talented in the game. Reports from Adrian Wojzyzewski have identified already-enrolled freshman John Piazza as a potential target for recruitment efforts.

Piazza, in his short playing career, is racking up a .75 cup per shot average and acquires balls back at a clip of one every two turns. The freshman has attracted attention from the transfer portal as well as professional play, but he says he remains committed to staying and completing his degree and Cup Pong career at Duke.

Game Pigeon Cup Pong Android

“I would be lying if I said the money wasn’t tempting,” Piazza said. “But my mom has always told me that my education comes first, and virtual drinking second. I’ll be honored to play out my years in front of the Blue Devil faithful. Pro ball can wait.”

And the Blue Devils will need him to perform, their hopes of a high seed in the National Consumption of Alcohol Association tournament being predicated on his next few matchups. It’s a lot to expect of an 18-year-old, but Piazza is actually hitting his peak performance years.

The founder of GamePigeon, Raspy Coo, could not be reached for comment, as she was doing her business above your Honda Civic at press time. However, she has made it known in the past that she will tolerate no bouncing whatsoever in the sport she invented.

“I removed us from March Madness because I knew it was the right thing to do,” President Rinse Price said. “But now, it is time to give the students something to cheer for.”

And for all of us, this comes as a boon to our spirits—our Blue Devils on the national stage, once again. Redemption.

Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day! In case you couldn't tell, this was a story for our satirical edition, The Chomicle. Check outmore Chomicle stories here, guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back.

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Live blog: Summer cancellations and this week's dining hours

[dnowit41]

LIVE FROM THE WORLD: LUKA DONCIC’S GLOBAL RISE

BY FRANKLYN CALLE 

“His feet [are] slower than rush hour traffic. Really slow feet…When I look at him on tape, he struggles with quick defenders. Guys getting in his pocket, getting after him… So, his NBA comparison is Hedo Turkoglu.”

“That’s my takeaway—He doesn’t pop athletically.”

“I mean, he’s better than Ricky Rubio but he doesn’t look special to me.”

“Doncic, at 6-7, will get exposed for all of the inadequacies that Dirk had. Dirk is not a great athlete. Dirk doesn’t have explosiveness. Dirk isn’t physical. That’s what is going to happen to Doncic…I’m not saying Luka is setting the NBA world on fire—I’m not sure he’s going to be a dominating NBA player.”

“The athleticism, that’s a problem. The lack of athleticism.”

“I believe Luka should go to a good team. I don’t believe he’s a lottery pick. No, I don’t. I think he falls right outside the lottery.”

“I don’t give a damn about how this kid in Europe looked.”

“We tend to over-sensationalize European basketball. There [are] restrictions that cater to him. You can’t have nine Americans on the floor in Europe. There’s going to be nine bred Americans on the floor with you 95 percent of the time in the NBA. That changes the dynamics of the game.”

—

These weren’t from randoms on Twitter purposely throwing out hot takes for some retweets and follows. These were hoops analysts on ESPN and FS1 talk shows (which, on second thought, sometimes spiel absurd hot takes for the same reasons as the Twitter randoms) giving their thoughts on Luka Doncic’s potential in the lead up to the 2018 NBA Draft. We’re not here to judge or air any of them out, so purposely not attaching any names to these. But you’ve probably seen some of these clips on your own social feeds or on YouTube already. Even Damian Lillard quote-tweeted an 80-second video compilation with some of these very same soundbites the morning after the Mavs star dropped a monster triple-double during last summer’s (still super strange saying that) playoffs. Dame’s caption was simply an “Lol”—which perfectly sums it all up in hindsight.

Doncic had proven himself overseas—going pro at age 13 (he left Slovenia by himself and relocated to Spain to play for Real Madrid—his mom didn’t join him there until three years later), winning MVP of the Liga ACB, EuroLeague and EuroLeague Final Four at 19 years old. The accolades actually made him the youngest MVP in the EuroLeague’s history.  

But a lot of fans (and media, seemingly) in the States had increasingly grown skeptical of highly-touted international prospects after many had not lived up to expectations upon their arrival to the Association. For the sake of consistency, they shall remain nameless here too. There’s that dude from Eastern Europe that got drafted really high in the 2003 NBA Draft by that team that had just played in the Eastern Conference Finals a month earlier. Or that other guy in the previous draft class that went really high too but was never able to make it work in the Mile-High City. Or even three years prior to that when the Knicks drafted a player in the teens that ultimately never saw a single minute of action in the League. There are plenty of posts online attempting to rank which international players were the most disappointing.

Hey, it’s the NBA. It’s not supposed to be easy or for everybody. There’s a reason why the average NBA career length is barely four years. It doesn’t make any of the guys that weren’t able to take off in the Association are any less as hoopers. Luck, timing, fit, politics—whatever the case is, it doesn’t work out more often than it does. Nevermind the complexities in scouting and the challenges of evaluating players competing in leagues of various talent levels.

Nonetheless, it happened. And will continue to. Can’t-miss prospects will miss when they finally get there. And many of those that were overlooked, underrecruited and slighted on social media (and on TV) will turn heads.

It didn’t take long for the very same TV analysts to change their tune about Luka. Like, literally just a few games into his career. And now only two seasons in, the 6-7 Slovenian guard has accumulated a ridiculous amount of shattered records. Forget the two regular seasons worth of games (which include records like surpassing Michael Jordan for the most consecutive 20-5-5 performances since the ABA/NBA merger), just the very first playoff series of his career alone is enough to justify everything you hear about him. The six-game series against the L.A. Clippers dissipated any lingering doubts.  

Game 1: 42 points—most points in a playoff debut by any player in NBA history, first 21-year-old to drop 40+ in a playoff game since LeBron James, fourth player to do it in general (after Magic Johnson, Tracy McGrady and James).

Game 2: 28 points, 8 rebounds, 7 assists—most points (70) by a player through his first two career playoff games in NBA history.

Game 3: first player in Mavericks history to record a triple-double in the playoffs, third youngest player in NBA history to record a triple-double in the playoffs after Magic and LeBron.

Game 4: a gazillion records. So much that Mavs PR Twitter had to create a Twitter thread just to be able to list them all. And even then, there were others they missed. Media members soon chimed in with the additional data.

His 43-point, 17-rebound and 13-assist stat line, which included a buzzer-beater to tie the series at 2-2, made him: the youngest ever to record a 40-point triple-double in the playoffs, the youngest to ever hit a playoff buzzer-beater, the only player aside from Wilt Chamberlain to finish with 43+ points, 17+ rebounds and 13+ assists in a game, the only player aside from Jordan to put up a 40-piece to go with a buzzer-beater while trailing, the third ever 40-15-10 performance in the playoffs after Oscar Robertson and Charles Barkley, second ever 21-year-old to record a 30-point triple-double in the playoffs, the third player ever after Magic and LeBron to have multiple playoff triple-doubles by the age or 21. The list went on and on, but you get the point.  

Although the Mavs went on to lose in six games, they still managed to come away as the real winners in the grand scheme of things—in front of the whole world, they confirmed they had THE one.

In the aftermath of Game 4 and in the weeks that followed, players across the League reacted to Luka’s insane performances. Props were given by the biggest names around.

Even before Luka played a single game in the NBA, back-to-back reigning MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo saw all of this coming from a mile away. In the summer of 2018, the Greek Freak, speaking with Marca, a local newspaper in Madrid, showed that he was better equipped than anyone else to evaluate Luka’s NBA potential as an international player himself.

“He is the most exciting player that has appeared in basketball in recent years. This past year in Europe he has won every competition he has played. EuroBasket, EuroLeague, Liga Endesa. He has been MVP of the EuroLeague, of the Final Four,” said Antetokounmpo. “He has shown that he is more than ready to play, that he has matured faster than the rest. He has played against professionals, as Charles Barkley said. The other rookies played against schoolboys.

“People in the United States sometimes forget that in the EuroLeague they play very well and very hard, more than in the NCAA. You have to be very good to stand out in the EuroLeague, and Luka is. Doncic has a lot of talent. He will have a great first year and, if it is not in the second, he will explode in the third.”

Looks like that explosion may have happened in the second year after all. Unless, of course, that wasn’t the explosion Giannis was talking about. There’s a chance we’re about to witness a whole other level that Luka could tap into. It’s worth noting, as of mid-December, he is the betting favorite to win MVP, according to Caesars Sportsbook with a +400. Defending MVP Giannis is right behind him at +450.

Giannis isn’t the only MVP who’s had high praise for the former Real Madrid star. The King himself, while appearing on Uninterrupted’s Road Trippin’ in early December, made it known that at one point he had intentions of starting a subset of his brand with Luka as the centerpiece.

“I wanted to begin Team LeBron and have Luka as my first signing with Nike,” said LeBron. “I don’t even know if Luka knows this, but he will know it now. I wanted Luka to be the first signing of Team LeBron when he was going through his situation…That’s how much I believed in him.”

In July, Paul Pierce went as far as to suggest that there’s already been a passing of the crown.

“You talk about a kid who made one of the biggest leaps in recent memory from a Rookie of the Year to MVP-caliber player,” said the Celtics legend. “He has won at every European championship that you can think of, every European MVP that you can think of. So, I expect special things from this kid. Clearly, he’s special. He’s a talent. To me, he is the most talented player in the NBA today. The lights are never too bright for him.”

The amount of individual records he’s been able to set and break are so many that his Wikipedia page has an “achievements” section specifically dedicated to that, where people have been able to create a list with 43 different bullet points detailing where his performances have landed him in the history books. Forty-three. Two years in.

“I just feel confident. I know I have the confidence of my teammates and my team, so I just feel confident [in] myself and I love taking those shots. I get motivated. I have to make the last shot,” Luka told Rachel Nichols in a sit-down interview in 2019. When he sat down with her again in 2020, he added: “Pressure was in my life when I was 13, when I had to move from Slovenia alone to Madrid. I live with pressure every day, so I just don’t feel it anymore.”

[bakechochin]

The Book Ramblings of June and July 2019

In place of book reviews, I will be writing these ‘book ramblings’. A lot of the texts I’ve been reading (or plan to read) in recent times are well-known classics, meaning I can’t really write book reviews as I’m used to. I’m reading books that either have already been read by everyone else (and so any attempt to give novel or insightful criticisms would be a tad pointless), or are so convoluted and odd that they defy being analysed as I would do a simpler text. These ramblings are pretty unorganised and hardly anything revolutionary, but I felt the need to write something review-related. I’ll upload a rambling compiling all my read books on a monthly basis. Well, not really monthly, but you know what I mean.

The Late Mr Shakespeare - Robert Nye I felt a further hankering for this sort of content after finishing Falstaff, and I had relative faith that this book would deliver. My feelings, however, were slightly mixed when considering what was different than Nye’s first book. Unlike Falstaff, this text isn’t written from the perspective of the text’s focus; we instead get a mediator in the form of Pickleherring, who gives us a retrospective and mythologised account of Shakespeare as told through anecdotes and spurious half-remembered tales. Without wanting to just quote huge chunks of the text’s postulating on the subject of men being shaped by the stories that are told about them, I’ll simply say that it’s all fucking great stuff, for while the book does come across as something of a cock-and-bull story with the amount of backtracking and reiterating and rewording of the same points, all of the reiterating and rewording is fantastically eloquent. What I enjoyed about Falstaff is still here, in that a fun larger-than-life world is evoked through a multitude of story snippets and accounts of events that border on folk tales, all, within the context of this book, meticulously stored away in a hundred black boxes over the years, and now shared with us as a testament to the multitude of stories told (in the context of the story) about the famous playwright, and as a big satisfied middle finger towards historical accuracy and the accounts of fuddy-duddies. This is in many ways a book for Shakespeare scholars; there’s a lot of the sort of shit in here that you’d learn as a Shakespeare academic, from attribution studies to dogmatic arguments about Shakespeare’s life and play participation (given undeserved credence here by the authoritative voice of one who knew him personally), and I’m not sure if this at all contributes to making the book good, given both my preexisting dislike for such nonsense (compared to the actual content of Shakespeare’s work) and the fact that not much is done with the information within this book. Nye seems to be reciting facts, slotting them in wherever he can, just to prove that he knows them, and in many cases his statements about Shakespeare’s life seem to all be along the lines of ’this thing was fleetingly referenced in one of his plays, and thereby it must have been contributory to one of his formative experiences'. (Plus, Shakespeare studies is, surprisingly, still a burgeoning field and a victim to changing times, and thus some of the assertions about Shakespeare and his works in this book are undermined by more recent contradictory research). No, this book’s compelling content lies elsewhere. When I first started reading I was concerned as to how compelling our narrator Pickleherring would be; he’s not so old as to be a doddering fool (which would have least given his narration some spice), and not so interesting a character archetype to be able to stand alongside Shakespeare and friends, and despite his assertions that he is a merry prankster full of mirth, this tends to only surface in the occasional moments of weird, sometimes crass erotica. This shit came up in Falstaff as well, again missing the point of sex within the context of farce or country peasant comedy by playing it entirely straight, and thus I am left with no choice but to assume that Nye has got a thing for such shite. Like Falstaff, this book’s blurb purports to answer a number of as-yet-unanswered questions about its titular character, and just fucking like Falstaff, what is revealed is not even that interesting. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: PROBABLY, YEAH, BUT ONLY IF YOU’RE LIKE, REALLY INTO SHAKESPEARE

My Papa and the Maid of Orleans and The Unruly Bridal Bed and Other Grotesques - Mynona I was fully geared up to return to the topic of over-intellectualising, a topic I haven’t touched since Kharms, when I caught a glimpse at the introduction to the first of these books that I read. My introduction to Mynona was the two of his stories featured in Tales of the German Imagination, little snippets of madness that seemed right up my alley, and yet, like Kharms, I’d be hard-pressed to state in scholarly terms exactly what it is that makes these stories work, or indeed if their success even has a scholarly explanation. I skimmed over the introductions in each of my tiny (and stupidly overpriced) books, and concluded that I would probably be alright for the most part. The tentative swipes that the introductory passages make in the direction of academia seem to just be quantifying what a grotesque is in terms of Mynona’s writings, which is all interesting shit. At its worst, the nonsense that the introductions spout about the inherent messages of Mynona’s own ‘creative indifference’ philosophies can be happily ignored in favour of simply enjoying the stories as odd and occasionally morbid little tales. Truthfully there really isn’t too much to say about these stories; the two collections that I have are the third and fourth of such that Mynona produced, meaning they’re not exactly his collected best works and the stories can be a tad hit or miss, but overall they’re very enjoyable quick reads. Both the blurb(s) and the attempts made to describe the events of the stories make them seem a lot darker than they actually are, for they often deal with bizarre or taboo themes, but this seems to me like false advertising, for when you’re reading said stories you don’t stop for a second to consider the fucked-up nature of some of the stories’ content. The tone carries it in such a way as to negate critical study, and thus I beseech anyone who tries. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: YES, IF YOU’VE GOT A DAY TO KILL AND CAN FIND THE STORIES FOR CHEAPER THAN THE NINE FUCKING QUID I PAID FOR EACH OF THEM

The Moving Toyshop - Edmund Crispin Many a time have I walked into Waterstone’s and spared a fleeting glance at the frankly ridiculous quantity of crime books there, stopping only to briefly laugh at some of the more on-the-nose titles (my favourite of which will always be Fielden’s A Quarter Past Dead). Golden Age crime fiction has always been a possibility of a genre I might want to delve into, but never an especially pressing one. My purchase of this book was something of an impulse buy in the Folio Society summer sale, and indeed my decision to purchase this book was dependant mostly on the assertions that the book was unlike other crime fiction texts. To elaborate, this is a very funny book, and I’ve been led to believe that it’s rather difficult to slot humour into a serious crime novel about murder and whatnot. It does so with a cast of eccentric and incredibly memorable characters, a plot driven mostly by chance and farce, and a fantastic aversion to seriousness, with characters often getting drunk and passing the time with such games as ‘naming unreadable books’ before venturing forth to the next slapstick shenanigans. Without wanting to, yet again, go off on a tangent about how I always seem to read ‘book B inspired by book A’ before I’ve read ‘book A’, this book is very much in the vein of Adams' Dirk Gently (with the eccentric intellectual types pursuing investigations way out of their jurisdiction) and Fforde's Thursday Next series (with rapidly escalating storylines and fourth wall breaks and hilarious set pieces, right down to the protagonist’s needlessly flamboyant car). Everything seems to be very much entwined with the humour, be it the characters or the plot, and it has proven difficult for me to say exactly what else it is about this book that made it so enjoyable to read. I blazed through it so quickly that I didn’t think about it too strongly; ultimately, a lot of the books I’ve been reading lately are like this, which makes it increasingly difficult to write rambles about them, considering that these rambles were originally intended to allow for a bit of extra academic flexing. I’m not here to break down the components of farce or slapstick or the effectiveness of literary references when constructing a story or comedy. All I can really talk about is, how does this book compare to other crime fiction? We uncover the story’s mystery slowly throughout the course of the book, with new characters coming into the fray and bringing new light to the situation, but the book’s mystery is eventually revealed to be a tad too small and too restrictive to allow for any grand revelations as to who indeed dunnit. Every now and then the book displays some fun meta-knowledge of the genre when the characters are deciding what move they are going to make next, though this does lead to a rather anticlimactic twist at the end when a promising lead is revealed to be a red herring seemingly just because the genre demands one, and the characters shrugging their shoulders to say ‘well, that’s how these sort of things go’ wasn’t quite enough to offset the feeling that things didn’t really lead to anything. The final roundup of events, and eventual reveal of the one tiny detail that answers all other questions of the mystery, is of course not really dependent on anything exciting (as I’d probably expect from the genre), but I reckon that when it comes to revealing the small but significant detail that is the crux of everything, a lot of books have a more interesting crux than this book does. But perhaps I am merely nitpicking. In any case, my feelings towards the book upon completion were overwhelmingly positive, if not because of a wholly satisfying ending than certainly because I know I’ve got a shit load more of these books to be getting on with. Therefore, it seems unlikely that my attempts to breach this new genre will lead to any further exploration for a while yet; I’ve got to read all of Crispin’s stories first. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: HELL FUCKING YES

Nightmare Abbey and Crotchet Castle - Thomas Love Peacock I heard of Peacock some time ago in a romanticism lecture as a great and criminally underrated author, I picked up this book after skimming the blurb and introduction and learning that Peacock’s writing took inspiration from a superstar lineup of my sort of authors (Aristophanes, Rabelais and Voltaire to name a few), and started reading it recently because I was craving a Gormenghast fix but had sworn not to start any more giant fucking novels until I’d finished Barchester Towers. It makes sense that this book would be recommended to me by an old academic chap, because this seems to be a book mainly for old academic chaps; a Peacockian staple, as the introduction so refers to it as (I suspect as a means of justifying it), is that the narrative often stops dead to allocate large chunks of the story to men of various fields of academia discussing various smart affairs (in the words of Peacock himself, ‘discussing everything and settling nothing'), written in a form more resembling a drama text than prose. It’s fast and easy reading, and it’s fun to revel in the general vibe of Regency era learned men lounging in a club speaking listlessly on trifling matters over their booze. While there is humour to be found (both explicitly and quietly in Peacock’s writing style), and while I am not entirely ignorant on the era and characters within that this book is good-naturedly satirising, this book requires some background knowledge to get the most out of it. Nightmare Abbey parodies the ‘mordancy of contemporary literature’, with characters reflecting the romantic poets (all with absolutely fantastic Gormenghast-tier names) lolling around and bemoaning the times and customs and pontificating incomprehensibly on transcendental subjects and generally revelling in operating on various tiers of melodramatic morose being. The conversations that they have are often rather dense, and thus the humour tends to come from the ridiculous characters’ voices and attitudes (or occasionally the farcical antics that they get up to). Crotchet Castle is significantly more all over the shop, being a general clusterfuck of ideals and philosophies (the primary conflict being between common sense and rationality, with all the supernumerary other characters slotting in to lend their voices in pummelling the rationalist into the fucking dirt) pitted against each other; it is on occasion rather accessible, given the simplicity of the characters and their chosen philosophies to spout, but I’m really coming in on the bottom floor when it comes to rationality and political economy, so a lot of the nuance, while often enjoyable enough considering its delivery of light-hearted sarcasm, was totally fucking lost on me. Most of the characters are just mouthpieces for philosophies, some of the characters are parodies of pre-existing personages who I didn’t fucking know and didn’t care to learn about, and some of the characters are enjoyable enough because they slot into the story in other ways (such as in the trite but necessary romance subplots, forgotten about and reinstated as soon as a hackneyed conclusion is needed) or otherwise stand out on their own (such as Peacock’s stand-in, the Reverend Dr Folliott, who couldn’t give a blot about anything save his own dinner and booze, or indeed my aligned character, the deteriorationist and medieval buff Mr Chainmail, who remains ‘out of reach of [everyone’s] arguments’ from his own fortress of beef and ale (as the introduction describes), which I can fully relate to). The aforementioned romance subplots might give the reader of this ramble the impression that these stories are rather confused as to what they want to be, but the confusion (if confusion it be, and not just a juggling of ideas (hardly skilful juggling, but roll with it)) really only extends as far as the eclectic array of things within the novels. The overall intention of these pieces is to be escapism, or a conversation piece (given that much of the text is dominated by conversations), and in that regard it does its job well enough. I will say, however, that the aforementioned ‘inspiration’ that these texts take from such authors as Aristophanes and Rabelais is really just limited to occasionally quoting them, and considering that I don’t speak Greek or French, this became more of a pain in the arse than a pleasure, having to keep looking at the back for the necessary translations. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: YES TO NIGHTMARE, POSSIBLY TO CASTLE

Seven Men - Max Beerbohm I’m afraid that you’ll have to excuse the fact that I was only able to read about the titular seven men in this book, and not the promised ‘Two Others’ in the book’s re-release; I read this online on Gutenberg, dissatisfied with the prices and conditions of the physical copies of this book (as well as the fact that I couldn’t really be putting too many eggs in this basket, since I started this book on a whim after it was fleetingly mentioned in Crispin’s The Moving Toyshop), and subsequently my reading experience was a rather fragmented one, scrounging all of the individual stories in this publication together and reading them as one overall book. Let this book stand as another title in my guilty list of attempts to dip my toe into the pool of postmodernism, for the stories within it are less about seven men (well, technically six, since Beerbohm himself is the seventh) and more about stories told about them or stories that shape them. Men tell stories about themselves, find themselves shaped by their works or the rules of their works, are forgotten as soon as their works fade from public interest, etc., from everything to formally written pieces of dubious quality to spun yarns over dinner. Supernatural influences are occasionally added to facilitate some of the dafter ideas, but everything is played entirely straight, with our focal point Beerbohm, having interpolated himself into the stories, providing everything with a sense of… if not verisimilitude, than certainly seriousness. Characters find themselves entwined within their stories, sad that their works of writing will be all that remains of them (or deluded into thinking that such a legacy would be a thing to be proud of), ‘ghosts caught in a fiction solemnly protesting their reality’ to paraphrase a quote from Lawrence Danson’s 1982 piece. It all makes for a very fun read, with each story providing a different reading experience that keeps you guessing as to what to expect. Finding myself with not much else to say, permit me to give a special mention to my favourite story in the collection, ‘Savonarola Brown’. The word ‘story’ is a tad misleading, but just as I find myself calling this text a short story collection or novel for lack of a better term, a story ‘Savonarola Brown’ must be, when in reality it is mostly comprised of a deliberately atrocious farcical tragicomedy script, written, in the context of the story, by the titular Brown, who did so over the course of eight years by throwing himself into the character of his beloved Savonarola and writing the story as the characters within it determined it to be written, leading to a rambling and capriciously-changing text that never failed to make me (if only as a great fan of early modern theatre, however trite or shoddy) laugh my arse off. WOULD I RECOMMEND?: HELL YEAH

Other shit I read that I couldn’t be arsed to ramble about: The Pillowman by Martin McDonagh (an absolutely amazing and very McDonagh play that I bloody wish I could have seen and would recommend to everyone (especially if they like fucked-up shit), The Etymologicon by Mark Forsyth (a very entertaining and informative book (as to be expected from my favourite etymologist) that I resisted reading for a while because I figured that Forsyth was at his best when retelling historical events, and was pleasantly surprised to see that he manages to squeeze in a shit load of interesting history shit in here as well (my favourite example of which being the story of the two main faces behind the OED)), Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (a fucking incredible book that I resisted writing a review on because a) it’s a rather serious book with some hard-hitting stuff that’s difficult to make funny and b) there are only so many ways that I can say ‘it’s good’), The Weird and the Eerie by Mark Fisher (a bloody amazing essay with some incredible content in it, made me very envious of Fisher for being able to contrive a means of writing about exactly what he wants to write about even when it is of passing or no relevance to the essay as a whole), and Swan Song by Edmund Crispin (another Crispin novel, so I didn’t bother rambling about it when it would just be the same points as my Moving Toyshop ramble, not as funny as Toyshop for the most part and focusing on a field of study that I know very little about but a very easy and enjoyable read nonetheless).

[piecesofmax]

To Dirk... http://bit.ly/2VD8XRl

… so after quite a while this is the day I start blogging again. 

Why now? 

Because I need to tell a story - one that matters to me personally while not being about me at all.

Last night a true idol of mine ended his career. This somewhat sad event that made me think. And what I came up with might be worth sharing here again - as I used to do.

Warning

Sorry for all the pathos and sports talk. Due to recent events… I have no other option. 

Backflash

I picked up my first basketball in the summer of 1999. Without ever being especially gifted or successful I got hooked to the sport (physical component) and the game (mental) with everything attached to it (social/lifestyle).  I loved basketball from that summer on. Even though I stopped playing competitively and just shoot some hoops occasionally, I always rediscover that love anytime I do…  

In that same year of 1999, only a few weeks after I got involved in all of that, a young skinny kid from Germany entered the NBA. 

I followed that kid closely ever since and watched him grow into a man as well as into a superstar. 

So when Dirk Nowitzki announced his retirement last night, after his last home game in Dallas, Texas, ending his truly remarkable career without any further announcment… it felt like a friendship ending.

Because as weird as this might sound - this is what I feel inside: although I have never met or talked a single word to him, I cannot help seeing him as a longtime companion! I know so much about him, have watched him for so many hours, cheered for, dicussed about and most of all sobed and celebrated with him over the 21 (!) years we somehow spend “along side each other”.

Video: https://youtu.be/C4-oqJc_Q_A

So what?

Let me use Dirk’s example as a quick reflection on a few handpicked aspects of life in general.

Lesson #1: the worth of knowing yourself and sticking to YOUR way

He did everything his way - the Dirk-way. 

He has never tried to imitate other players. Instead of that, he developed a unique (often strange looking but highly effective) style of play, suiting his statue and talents. Although I never connected to this way of playing, looking back on his over 1,500 pro games one can now say that he even revolutionized the way NBA basketball is played by doing so!

He trained (Video: https://youtu.be/xAeyZ4x0zaw) different to all other players: being coached by the same mentor for all his career he believed in unpopular, weird methods and techniques - never asking if this was the norm or what others do.

He consciously chose an unusual career (1. giving away millions to have his team grow instead of his bank account; 2. never leaving the city due to the loyalty he felt - staying longer with one team than any player in NBA history ever has.)

He lived a life not typical for US sports icons at all - sharing an apartment for years, driving a small old car, never having affairs with women or drugs… not creating a single scandal in over 20 years!!

He ended his career accordingly - Dirk-style. In contrast to most other starts who announce their retirement at the beginning of the season, enjoying an entire year of farewells and victory laps, Dirk kept quiet until the moment itself was here. He never wanted the circus.

…

Full documentary: https://youtu.be/tOTO9B-KqCY

Lesson #2: how to measure success

Of course, you are judged by your performance. But even in a sport where pretty much everything gets counted and reported, not all your achievements show up stats. 

Things like:

making the people around you better and happier

making them laugh and having a good time

creating a supportive spirit on and of your court

being a great sportsman - at all times

making your mark without stepping on toes

giving back to those supporting you

never hurting your or your organization’s reputation

offering help when needed - to anyone around

In other words: If you leave and over 20,000 cheer “Thank you Dirk”, legends and teammates salute and your crowd, as well as your rivals, applaud - then you have done a pretty good job across all aspects - that is a success even though it would never show up on a scoreboard!

Lesson #3: Humble from start to finish

Only the most extraordinary manage to stay humble in the moments of ultimate highs. He was - when drafted, when becoming a star player, an Allstar, a Champion, the first non-US-American MVP, checking of records and milestones. And even with the final curtain in the back, in a universe of egos and cult of personality - all he states is gratitude and modesty. 

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjO9_2RLdnI

Applause, to the athlete, the icon and the role model!

Thank you Dirk, 

For being the inspiration and the hero that you were. For never letting us down. For never giving up and all the joy over all those years.

Hope to see you for many more years, whatever you do! Be sure, even if I don’t wear your jersey anymore, I will always honor and follow your example!

Thank you - your m

April 11, 2019 at 02:32AM

[dedicatedfollower467]

it is time to restart the INCREASINGLY poorly named “ultimate dirk made me do it 2019″

JOHN: ok, yes. JOHN: let's assume it was the only way to find it. granted. JOHN: but i mean, does that really make it the right way to beat him?

i think one of the things i’ve always loved about homestuck is that it never shied away from messy characters and their messy decisions, and how fucked up the idea of inevitability is in this story.

there’s a really cool question that keeps being floated -- beginning as early as fucking davesprite, if not earlier -- about how morality and ethics work in a predestined world.

if making the morally correct choice ends up dooming your entire timeline and ends up with everyone dying... is it really the morally correct choice? if saving lives is our priority, then shouldn’t we do whatever we need to keep the timeline going, even if it means some people die, because otherwise everyone dies? does the fact that it was always necessary for the alpha timeline to go forward retroactively justify the terrible things that people like vriska did?

i don’t have any answers obviously, i just find it fascinating to think about, and especially the way that homestuck doesn’t really give a straight answer either! every character has their own opinions on it, and i LOVE that.

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[junker-town]

Harrison Barnes’ bizarre mid-game trade, explained

There’s a lot of emotion surround how Barnes left the Mavs.

One of the weirder moments in NBA trade history occurred on Wednesday night when Mavericks forward Harrison Barnes learned mid-game that he was being traded to the Sacramento Kings.

Six minutes were left in a close game between the Mavs and Hornets when the news broke that Barnes was being traded. Cameras were there to capture it all as news spread down from the stands to Barnes, who was on the bench at the time. It was a rare moment where we saw the business side of the NBA play out on a public stage, and to his credit Barnes handled it remarkably well.

Harrison Barnes was on the court for the Mavericks when reports came down that he was traded. pic.twitter.com/YnqCbW3cuV

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) February 7, 2019

The sentiment following the trade was “damn, that’s cold,” but there’s slightly more to this.

Barnes reportedly knew he was probably leaving.

Following the game Paul Pierce said on ESPN that Barnes was aware he was being shopped by the Mavericks, and there was a possibility he could be moved as soon as Wednesday night — but he asked to play anyway.

.@paulpierce34 says Harrison Barnes knew a trade to the Kings was in the works prior to the game, and still wanted to play for the Mavericks Wednesday. pic.twitter.com/06wuxZERBC

— NBA on ESPN (@ESPNNBA) February 7, 2019

So while the timing wasn’t ideal, it’s not like Barnes had the rug pulled out from under him completely if this report was true. In fact, if anything, Barnes deserves even more credit for putting his head down, playing and letting everything play out — knowing full well the potential was there for him to be moved.

Dirk Nowitzki offered high praise for his outgoing teammate, especially considering the situation.

Dirk Nowitzki’s comments on the Harrison Barnes trade. pic.twitter.com/z1R5R9LakG

— Michael Mulford (@TheMulf) February 7, 2019

LeBron James might have jumped the gun a little bit.

LeBron James issued a scathing commentary about the trade following the news Barnes was moving.

View this post on Instagram

So let me guess this is cool cause they had to do what was best for the franchise right??? Traded this man while he was literally playing in the game and had ZERO idea. I’m not knocking who traded him because it’s a business and you have to do what you feel what’s best but I just want this narrative to start to get REAL/CHANGE and not when a player wants to be traded or leaves a Franchise that he’s a selfish/ungrateful player but when they trade you, release , waive, cut etc etc it’s best for them! I’m ok with both honestly, truly am. Just call a ♠️ a ♠️!!

A post shared by LeBron James (@kingjames) on Feb 6, 2019 at 8:43pm PST

Essentially LeBron was using the trade as an example of how cold the NBA can be as a counterpoint to players being called selfish for calling their own shots on a team or demanding trades. The crux of LeBron’s point stands, but if Barnes knew about the trade possibility ahead of time then it’s not nearly as cold as King James points out.

Barnes’ tenure with Dallas is complicated.

Harrison Barnes joining the Mavericks during the rebuilding effort made him the best player on a bad team during a difficult time. Mavs Moneyball outlines how Barnes arrived in the city during an impossibly difficult time socially, and did his best to try and help the city heal.

While his tenure on the Mavericks wasn’t one of a superstar who blossomed after leaving the Warriors, he was still the best player they had — and now in the wake of Luka Doncic becoming a phenom, paired with the trade for Kristaps Porzingis he’s left as a salary dump in an unceremonious end to his time with the team.

“Barnes deserved to be here when the Mavericks were good again but the fact that his presence almost guaranteed that would never happen was the ultimate basketball catch-22.

The Mavericks needed to move on and they did. Dallas the city definitely didn’t. We know the Mavericks are a better team tomorrow and the city of Dallas is a little bit worse. Sports are weird like that.”

The team and the city will miss Barnes, regardless of how he was traded, when he found out or why he was dealt. There doesn’t seem to be a bad guy in the scenario, it’s just unfortunate for a lot of different reasons.

[biofunmy]

The N.B.A. Elite Are Now From Everywhere

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It was at the 2018 All-Star Game in Los Angeles that I asked Steve Nash, one of the foremost imports in N.B.A. history, if the league would ever be ready — really ready — for a Rest of the World vs. United States format for its annual midseason showcase.

“We’re getting there,” Nash said then.

Nash suggested that perhaps 2022 would be “the time to try it,” as a 30th anniversary tribute to the original Dream Team that wowed the world at the Barcelona Olympics.

That forecast is looking smarter every day.

Understandably somewhat lost last week amid the very sad news of the former N.B.A. commissioner David Stern’s death was the bulletin from the league office detailing the first batch of returns from fan balloting for next month’s All-Star Game in Chicago.

The leading vote-getter in the Eastern Conference: Milwaukee’s Giannis Antetokounmpo from Greece.

The leading vote-getter in the West: Dallas’s Luka Doncic of Slovenia.

Fan voting will always generate outrage for one reason or another. Boston’s little-used Tacko Fall, who placed sixth among East frontcourt candidates, and the Los Angeles Lakers’ Alex Caruso, who landed at No. 8 among West guards, were the primary causes for complaints from the opening round of polling. Yet you scarcely heard a quibble about the fact that LeBron James trailed both Giannis and Luka even though he has joined Anthony Davis in powering the Lakers to a 29-7 start.

Antetokounmpo is the league’s reigning Most Valuable Player Award winner and is playing at an even higher level this season. Doncic has yet to appear in an N.B.A. playoff game, but he has established himself as a consensus top-10 player by averaging a ridiculous 29.7 points, 9.7 rebounds and 8.9 assists in his sophomore season — leading the upstart Mavericks to a surprising 23-13 record in the process.

Unlike Nash’s era, when the N.B.A. certainly featured numerous successful international players but only a few who were considered truly elite, there are several at that level besides Giannis and Luka.

The Cameroonian duo of Philadelphia’s Joel Embiid and Toronto’s Pascal Siakam have their own gaudy stat lines that make them All-Star locks.

Denver’s Nikola Jokic (Serbia), despite some slippage in his numbers from last season, remains the unquestioned fulcrum for the team with the second-best record in the West.

Utah’s Rudy Gobert (France) is not assured of making his All-Star breakthrough next month because a defense-first reputation like his historically doesn’t help much in All-Star campaigning. But Gobert has made such an all-around impact for the Jazz that you can find his name on Basketball Reference’s M.V.P. tracker at a solid No. 10.

Minnesota’s Karl-Anthony Towns, who was born in New Jersey but represents the Dominican Republic internationally, played in the past two All-Star Games and would be a cinch for a third appearance if not for a recent knee injury — and the Timberwolves’ slump to a 14-21 record from a 10-8 start.

Throw in top All-Star contenders such as Philadelphia’s Ben Simmons (Australia) and Indiana’s Domantas Sabonis (Lithuania) — as well as All-Stars of recent vintage such as Orlando’s Nikola Vucevic (Montenegro), Philadelphia’s Al Horford (Dominican Republic), Toronto’s Marc Gasol (Spain), Miami’s Goran Dragic (Slovenia) and Dallas’s Kristaps Porzingis (Latvia) — and the point becomes clear.

There may not quite be 12 internationals playing at an indisputable All-Star level as we speak, but it’s increasingly fair to ask, as Nash predicted, if we’re all that far away.

Porzingis, after all, is working his way back to an All-Star standard after a lengthy injury layoff. Two of Nash’s young fellow Canadians — Oklahoma City’s Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Denver’s Jamal Murray — have also flashed All-Star potential. Recent top-five lottery picks include Phoenix’s Deandre Ayton (Bahamas) and the Knicks’ R.J. Barrett (Canada).

The way things are going, as we dribble into a new decade, it looks as though mathematical fairness is the only deterrent to N.B.A. Commissioner Adam Silver’s trying out a United States/World format.

There were 108 foreign-born players on opening-night rosters this season, meaning there were more than 300 American-born players. It simply wouldn’t be equitable for two groups of such disparate size to battle for 12 All-Star spots each.

But I also don’t believe that the league is married to its two-year-old system in which the two leading vote-getters, as captains, pick their respective squads without regard to conference. For all the anticipation and chatter that the made-for-television selection show generates, momentum from the first game played using this format in L.A. in 2018, after years of waning interest, did not carry over to the 2019 edition in Charlotte.

Don’t forget that Silver, when he initially proposed the introduction of an in-season tournament starting with the 2020-21 season, was looking at the final four of that competition as a potential replacement for the All-Star Game entirely. The league ultimately backed off that proposal when teams and the players’ union voiced resistance to an in-season tournament that would fall any later on the league’s calendar than December, but Silver’s original thinking suggests that the N.B.A. remains concerned about how flat All-Star Games tend to feel.

At the M.I.T. Sloan Sports Analytics Conference in Boston in March, remember, Silver himself said the 2019 All-Star Game “didn’t work” and admitted that the most recent changes were akin to putting “an earring on a pig.”

Maybe the starry imports who have succeeded Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Pau Gasol, Tony Parker and all the international stars from the last decade will never get their chance to engage the Americans in an All-Star duel. Maybe restricting that format to the Rising Stars Game featuring first- and second-year players, as the N.B.A. has done for the past five seasons, is the right call.

Yet the mere fact that the debate only gets stronger may be as fitting a tribute as we can muster for Stern — since taking the N.B.A. global before any other North American sport, and to a much greater degree, is such a huge slice of his legacy.

The Scoop @TheSteinLine

This newsletter is OUR newsletter. So please weigh in with what you’d like to see here. To get your hoops-loving friends and family involved, please forward this email to them so they can jump in the conversation. If you’re not a subscriber, you can sign up here.

You ask; I answer. Every week in this space, I’ll field three questions posed via email at marcstein-newsletter@nytimes.com. (Please include your first and last name, as well as the city you’re writing in from, and make sure “Corner Three” is in the subject line.)

Q: Where would you rank David Stern as a commissioner compared to those in other sports like Pete Rozelle in the N.F.L., Bowie Kuhn or Fay Vincent in baseball, etc.? — Bob Purcell (San Diego)

Stein: I covered a smattering of all the major North American men’s team sports in my youth, but I have been covering the N.B.A. almost exclusively since February 1994. So it’s not really fair for me to answer this one.

I would naturally put Stern ahead of all his competitors because I know so much more about his work. Most of my older peers always say that mythical top spot has to go to either Stern or Rozelle. But as our own Harvey Araton sagely noted when I asked him, Stern’s edge may well be that on his watch the N.B.A. achieved relevance on social, cultural and international fronts that the N.F.L. — for all its advantages in TV prominence and in-stadium attendance — can’t match.

What I can say with greater confidence is that I will always wish Stern, upon ceding his office to Adam Silver in February 2014, would have spent a few years trying to bring order to a sport he loved almost as much as I do: tennis.

Tennis has always suffered greatly from the lack of a commissioner who could exert authority over the sport’s many (too many, really) competing factions. But Stern’s focus, for pretty much his entire adult life, was the N.B.A. and growing/enhancing/protecting his league. So I am forced to concede that it probably would have been hard for him to muster anywhere near the same passion for another sport in a working capacity.

Q: I have to agree with the recent comment here that the Raptors are mostly ignored by the American sports media. Maybe you are an exception, but why aren’t more people writing about the Chris Boucher story alone? — Kent Goodwin (Stowe, Vt.)

Stein: I think we’ve reached the point in this discussion where nothing I say is going to persuade the skeptics. But I think I will be vindicated when Coach of the Year Award voting results are released in June.

The Raptors awoke on Tuesday on a 54-win pace. If they maintain that level for the rest of the regular season, given the ridiculous string of injuries they’ve faced along the way, Nick Nurse will have a real shot at winning the C.O.Y. prize — and thus prove how closely the Raptors are being monitored south of the border in the post-Kawhi Leonard era.

It was suggested to me last week by a trusted insider that the Raptors just might surprise us again before the Feb. 6 trade deadline and emerge as buyers to fortify themselves for another playoff run. The widespread assumption coming into the season held that Toronto would trade the veteran likes of Kyle Lowry, Marc Gasol and Serge Ibaka to prepare for a reset in the summer of 2021 built around the free-agency pursuit of Milwaukee’s Giannis Antetokounmpo. (I predicted as much myself.)

The safe bet remains that Masai Ujiri, Toronto’s president of basketball operations, will avoid any deals that affect the Raptors’ cap space in 2021. But the Raptors will be a huge source of curiosity over the next month — thanks in part to the unexpected contributions from the likes of Boucher, Terence Davis, Matt Thomas, Oshae Brissett and O.G. Anunoby — whether or not they’re generating reams of coverage.

Q: How convenient for you. Now you get to expand your hate for Houston beyond basketball. — @venramamurthy from Twitter

Stein: This tweet came in response to my social media cheering for the Buffalo Bills as a proud former Western New Yorker — which lasted until the Bills unraveled in Saturday’s A.F.C. wild-card loss to the Houston Texans to extend their drought without a playoff win to 1995.

The supposition from Venkat is that rooting against the Texans was a natural for me because I “hate” his Rockets.

We’re still not past this stuff in 2020, friends?

My only issues with Houston, here in the real world, are the traffic, how hard it is to get to Cafe Adel for some wonderful Bosnian food in that traffic when staying downtown and the oppressive weather from June to September (my quarrel with every city in Texas — including the one I live in).

Happy New Year!

Numbers Game

$2,615,000

In 20 years as the team owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban has accrued more than $2.6 million in publicly announced fines from the N.B.A., according to this ledger maintained by the longtime Mavericks historian Patricia Bender. Not all fines issued by the league office are made public.

6

The N.B.A.’s two Florida teams sport quite the contrast with their records in overtime games so far this season: Miami is 6-0, and Orlando is 0-0.

16-19

The Pacers finished three games under .500 last season after losing Victor Oladipo to a ruptured quadriceps muscle in his right leg and were swept by Boston in a first-round playoff series. After acquiring Malcolm Brogdon in an off-season sign-and-trade with Milwaukee, Indiana is on a 51-win pace this season without Oladipo but still doesn’t know when he will return.

3-2

The potential downside of the Los Angeles Clippers’ well-chronicled “load management” strategy with Kawhi Leonard is that they may have to settle for a playoff seed that forces them to play the Lakers sooner than the conference finals. Thanks to an underwhelming 3-2 mark since their impressive Christmas Day defeat of the Lakers, Kawhi and Co. awoke on Tuesday as the West’s No. 4 team — which has the Clippers on course for a second-round playoff encounter with their Staples Center cotenants.

20

The Lakers’ 20 blocked shots in a home win on Sunday over Detroit were a rarity. According to Basketball Reference, no N.B.A. team had recorded at least 20 blocked shots in a game since it happened twice in 2001: Toronto with 23 against Atlanta in March 2001 and the Raptors with 20 against Golden State in November 2001.

Hit me up anytime on Twitter (@TheSteinLine) or Facebook (@MarcSteinNBA) or Instagram (@marcsteinnba). Send any other feedback to marcstein-newsletter@nytimes.com.

Sahred From Source link Sports

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[dedicatedfollower467]

And with Vriska's sassy flourish of dramatic irony, it suddenly becomes evident to anyone with a brain that we aren't going to see what the treasure is for hundreds, if not thousands of pages.

HA HA HA HA I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS NEXT BIT.

page: 6075

[dedicatedfollower467]

... you know, i think a lot of people in the homestuck fandom write dirk as if he were hal.

the thing is... hal’s a lot more bitter than dirk. which means he can end up being a lot crueler, because he lashes out at dirk, and the best way to hurt dirk is to hurt his friends (because dirk REALLY LOVES his friends). and hal starts to find it more and more difficult to care about dirk’s friends, because to them, hal isn’t their friend anymore. so he can be really mean, especially to jake.

and if we’re not basing it on hal, we tend to look at Brain Ghost Dirk, who is much more of a reflection of jake’s insecurities regarding dirk, than he is of dirk himself. (and like. you can say all you like that the fact that this is how jake thinks dirk thinks about him is a red flag but also... who doesn’t feel a little inadequate and useless and dumb around their crush? which is presuming of course that jake actually does have something approaching a crush on dirk, but i don’t think it’s that unlikely really? and even if he’s aro/doesn’t actually have a crush, he’s clearly got a lot of admiration for dirk.) so when BGD gets mean towards dirk, it’s more because jake is being mean towards himself and externalizing it by putting those words in the mouth of someone he admires.

but like. dirk himself is not actually mean, and he especially doesn’t insult people with the kind of mean-spirited antagonism that hal tends to. if dirk “insults” people, it’s a lot more similar in tone to dave and june antagonizing each other back in Act 1, and never meant seriously.

i think we do a lot of judging of dirk based on his splinters, and not enough on the man himself, you get me?

page: 4860

[dedicatedfollower467]

i am genuinely trying to remember the significance of kurloz stealing vriska’s coat and i can’t remember if he doesn’t anything with it later? i mean. unless it’s one of the things he gave to gamzee??

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[dedicatedfollower467]

fucking

act 6 intermission 5 intermission 4.

i forgot how deep the act act acts got

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