#ulkonja
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no6secretsanta · 11 months ago
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From: @ulkonja
To: @raaindropps
Cheers!
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kafsho · 1 year ago
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gimisblog · 3 months ago
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Ky libër është një histori e dhimbshme dashurie, ku dashuria dhimbja shkrihen dhe tretën në kufijtë e njëra-tjetrës. Çiroja e deshi Enzen që në fillim, ndërsa Enza e ruajti ndjenjën e saj të paprekur, njësoj si ulkonja pjellën e saj, aq sa as vdekja nuk mundi t'a prishte bukurinë e saj.
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sushihukka · 3 years ago
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Thanks, you're the best<3
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commission for my friend @ulkonja ♡♡
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burimpiraj · 6 years ago
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Tregimi për ujkun e vogël
E pyet ujku i vogël ulkonjën:
Kush janë ato atje në tufë që po kullosin?
Janë delet! - Përgjigjet ulkonja
Po sa herë në vit dhe sa të vegjël lindin ato? - vazhdon me pyetje ujku i vogël.
Më së shumti dy herë në vit, i bëjnë një ose dy të vegjel në lindje. - Shpjegon ulkonja.
Po ne sa të vegjël lindim gjatë vitit?
Ne lindim një herë në vit deri 6 të vegjël.
Po pse ne nuk jemi kaq shumë si ato?
Sepse ne jemi qëllim këqij! - I thotë ulkonja
*Tregim popullor
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no6secretsanta · 11 months ago
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Stubborn Symbiosis
Hi @ulkonja - as much as I wanted to write some Safu angst I could not help but yield to the sweet siren song of “spicy Nezushi” - I hope it’s to your liking even though the spice might be a bit different than you expect, haha. HAPPY SECRET SANTA!
Post-canon, established relationship, T-rating (though certainly a lil spicy)
—-
“This was the first park we built after everything,” Shion began, unlocking the gate on a black screened-off area. “…There was a learning curve. Please watch your step, Nezumi.”
“But of course,” Nezumi allowed, making a mental note to store anything embarrassing to replay vengefully in his head later— it had been a long week and he deserved petty rejuvenation. 
Behind the (surprisingly intense) padlock sat dirty water in a hole. It lounged at half the depth intended, judging by the three-foot muddy drop that awaited anyone unfortunate enough to approach. There were barely any fish or plants, but the species that had survived did look surprisingly healthy. This somehow was a functioning pond— if only out of spite.
“I can’t believe you haven’t shown me this,” Nezumi whispered, awed. “This is monumental.”
“You know, Nezumi, when someone is giving you a tour of the new city they are helping build, most will lead with their successes, not their failures,” Shion huffed. “You should be more understanding.”
“Afraid I’m all out of that,” Nezumi replied. “I think I’ll pitch a tent here— fancy some camping?”
Shion rolled his eyes, but Nezumi could tell by the way his mouth quirked that he was trying not to humor his sarcasm by laughing.
“I can’t believe the committees’ delicate fingers managed to pick up a shovel.”
“Multiple shovels actually,” Shion supplied. “They did work hard, even though they didn’t really know what they were doing. All of this was due to the …effort of our volunteers. Their hearts were in the right place.” 
“Ah, yes, effort— the most important of all resources, right next to enthusiasm, whimsy, and glee.”
Shion shot him such a tired look that made Nezumi want to peel away his polite office posturing like the wrapping paper on a present.
“Truly, I can’t imagine putting a fence around something so selfless— the new city deserves to see such humble beauty everyday!” 
“We didn’t intentionally hide it. It’s important to wear our mistakes as loudly as our successes, but… well.”
Nezumi leaned in. This would be good.
“Well?”
Shion shut his eyes, admitting, “We actually received too many complaints from people who accidentally…fell in. There’s a ladder but— stop laughing, Nezumi! I know how that sounds, but this was a serious problem. We didn’t want to risk anyone actually getting hurt by the committee’s first volunteer-driven nature project!”
There were actual tears in Nezumi’s eyes. He struggled to catch his breath. “You should have brought me here months ago, Shion. This is groundbreaking, or it would be, if they could actually break through— wait, pardon me, did they try to plant cattails? There’s barely any water— you think they’d try to fix that first.”
“I really wish they did,” Shion’s voice carried the weight of endless meetings. “They thought decorating around the pond would improve everything that was wrong with the foundation. At the time I was busy with other responsibilities and incorrectly assumed our volunteers had consulted with and were working with experts in park creation. We do have nice parks, you know. Functional ones.”
“Those did not look like this,” Nezumi emphasized. “This is something transcendent. An exercise in futility, an art piece, a— ”
“—A necessary learning experience for a new city,” Shion finished. “When our funders saw what it looked like, well. You couldn’t pay someone to take the land of their hands. They wanted it razed.”
Nezumi’s smile fell. “I can imagine.”
Shion was still looking at the water, and Nezumi put one and two together.
“So, Shion, when you said you had land in the city, this is what you meant?”
“Yes,” he mumbled, ever stubborn. “So if you could stop making fun of me for it, that would be great.” 
This guy… Nezumi snaked an arm around Shion’s waist in tender mockery. 
“There, there. You made the right call preserving this place. Books shall remember you as Shion: noble savior of cattails.”
Shion grunted, batting Nezumi’s arm away— but he wasn’t lying, actually. Nezumi loved it here. This place was perfect: born from the city, yet growing honestly in spite of it, beautiful in its own odd, stubborn, baffling way. A lot like…
Shion leaned down to attempt to fish a plastic bag out of the water— he couldn’t quite reach it. He was so close, but clearly too proud to ask for assistance. This was the greatest day of Nezumi’s life. 
“Something to say, Shion?” Nezumi drawled, patiently waiting for Shion to snap at him or fall in the pond.
“It isn’t that funny,” Shion grouched, finding his third option— petulant grumbling.
“You are, though. Can’t believe all this luxury belongs to you,” Nezumi eased back, using a stick to lift the bag into Shion’s hand without any further teasing— a peace offering. “Here, unlike your committee, I am capable of using simple tools.”
“Thanks,” Shion replied flatly. “I’m sure that skill has been very useful in your life.”
Nezumi laughed, coaxing Shion closer in a playful side-hug. When Shion leaned into the embrace a new-yet-familiar heat warmed him to the tips of his toes. He still couldn’t let this drop without one more dig, though.
“Hold onto me,” he whispered dramatically, lips brushing Shion’s ear. “I heard on royal authority it’s a steep drop.”
Shion threw the bag at his face.
An hour later Nezumi was sitting with his toes skating above the water. Shion had dropped a lavender pill the size of a quarter in the liquid which dissolved with a sizzling sound and cleared away most of the murk. Good thing, too, as the very important city official was now waist deep in ugly pond and wading with devoted purpose.
Shion’s white hair seemed even fluffier in the spring light. Dressed down to his boxers, his red snaking scar was on full display. It dipped in and out of the liquid as he plodded around like a damp, sexy duckling. Nezumi had eyes— he was using them to the fullness of their potential. 
For all his embarrassment, Shion was good at this. Obviously deeply familiar with the malicious and weird ecosystem in the lake, he was encouraging it to thrive with brief, expert contact. The still-too-low water now shimmered and the stubborn surviving plants were greener and more lush than they had any right to be.
Shion prattled on about the impressive resilience of bacterial life with relentless enthusiasm. Between assurances that the pill wouldn’t harm any of the creatures living in the water, he managed to work in detailed explanations of how the bacteria wouldn’t harm him, either. 
“Orchestrated symbiosis, Nezumi,” he rambled, smiling wide. “We’ve made a lot of advancements.”
Nezumi hated that this was kind of turning him on. Shion really had no right to be so hot and so dumb and so infuriatingly brilliant at the same time. Something was seriously wrong with him, but Nezumi absolutely needed to get this conversation into more suggestive territory. 
Shion hadn’t gotten the memo unfortunately. He had a lot of opinions on water-based illnesses.
“There’s skin rashes, infections….Oh, that’s not even taking into account the parasitic organisms that can survive in water like this,” he babbled, looking altogether too perky for any of those words in that order. 
“And yet here you are,” Nezumi’s voice was a low purr— he was nothing if not determined in the face of impossible odds— “…Swimming.”
“Well, yes,” Shion replied with absolutely zero heat. “I have a great immune system!”
Nezumi questioned his place in the universe. “You’re the most frustrating person I have ever met.”
“I thought that was pretty logical, actually,” Shion countered, granting Nezumi a generous view of the wet skin of his back as he partially climbed up the ladder. “I’ve already survived the worst possible parasitic infection I could, after all.”
“That’s…” Nezumi began, and then gave up. There was no way to make this one sexual. “Not an incident I’m looking to repeat.”
“Me neither.”
At last, the conversation had finally waned— time to encourage a shift. Nezumi leaned back on his elbows. “You know, Shion—”
“—If anything, you’re far more likely to get sick than I am. I have more natural immunities,” Shion interrupted, and oh god, he was still thinking about parasites. “Well, probably anyway.”
He paused to shake the ladder, really testing the rusty metal in the loudest way possible. Wet, rhythmic thuds against the earthen wall filled the air. After a solid minute of this he released the bars, satisfied with their sturdiness. Nezumi pinched the bridge of his nose, and breathed out very slowly. 
There was no salvaging this. He surrendered.
“Nezumi?” Shion asked.
 “Yes?” he replied, without any actual irritation. Shion was Shion, after all. “More enticing facts about parasites for me?”
“I was wondering if you wanted to get in the water. You might not have my immune system, but if you get sick, I’ll take care of you.”
Nezumi opened his eyes, not expecting this opportunity, but refusing to let it skate by. 
“Will you now?” He drawled, carefully tilting his head back to show off the pale skin of his throat in a way he knew was alluring.
Shion’s eyebrows drew together, a puzzled expression on his face. Not exactly horny but this was a step above damp ladder shaking, at least. 
“I mean. Yes? I have medicine.” 
An awkward pause. Nezumi waited patiently, holding Shion’s gaze. He half-smiled at the slight flush that had begun to spread across his face. Finally, he was catching on. 
“What else do you have?” Nezumi asked, baiting the hook.
“I’m not entirely sure what you mean by that, Nezumi,” Shion floundered. Something stupid fluttered in Nezumi’s chest. “I didn’t really mean anything by that comment. I just thought it’d be nice to look after you.”
“Please tell me you’re not the type to fantasize about me catching the plague, Shion,” Nezumi teased, voice lowering. “You always did like playing nurse.”
Shion broke his gaze, abruptly shy. His ears were bright red. There it was. 
“Nezumi, I…” 
“Mmhm?” Nezumi replied lazily, drumming his fingers on his thigh. 
“Are you trying to initiate something? This is a very weird place to do that.”
Now it was Nezumi’s turn to choke.
 “It isn’t that weird— we’re in relative private, and you own this ‘park’. Besides, the screen walls are dark and there’s a lock on the gate. You mean to tell me you’re not interested?”
“It isn’t that, Nezumi,” Shion argued, a little too quickly. Got him.
“Then why don’t I join you in the water?” Nezumi drawled, running his hand up his thigh to the base of his shirt. Swiftly, he pulled it over his head. 
Shion, to his surprise, barely reacted. His face was a disturbing neutral.
“Actually, I don’t know,” Shion said, voice flat. “You made fun of me a lot before and I’d hate to throw off the pond ecosystem by doing something so irresponsible.”
 That move never failed him; Nezumi’s stomach dropped. “You’re serious?”
“Not at all,” Shion said, swimming over, a pleased, sparkling, vengeance in his eyes. “Sometimes I want to tease you too, Nezumi. Now take your pants off, please.”
“Asshole.” Nezumi glared, even as his shaking fingers fumbled with his fly. “How is it that you’re perceptive only when it doesn’t benefit me?”
“I recognize your techniques by now, even if I don’t always pick up on them immediately,” Shion teased, tilting his head in a slightly clumsy way that very much matched Nezumi’s own bedroom look earlier. Nezumi flipped him off before shimmying out of his pants and underwear. Shion’s grin melted into something sweet and approving. 
“I still think this could benefit you, Nezumi.”
Damn him. “I suppose we’ll have to find out. Step aside, Your Majesty, I’m coming in.”
“It’s—”
“—A drop, I’m well aware, I think I’ll manage—”
“—Wait, Nezumi!”
Nezumi had survived much longer falls, but the frantic way Shion’s hands hooked around his waist was definitely something new. The fall wasn’t even intense enough for Shion to actually catch him—  Nezumi’s feet hit the soft sand of the pond floor in seconds— but that was clearly his intent. The stupid thing in Nezumi’s chest squeezed, and for a moment, he felt oddly weightless, held by Shion in his dumb, half-empty, pond.
“Nice try,” he offered, tilting his head. They were close enough now that he could only fondly stare into one of Shion’s concerned eyes. “I didn’t think you’d actually try to catch me.”
“Well, I didn’t want you to twist your ankle,” Shion replied, warm breath tickling Nezumi’s cheeks. “That happened to—”
Nezumi kissed him, as if he could do anything else. Shion’s fingers curled against his back and scarred-but-healing bodies pressed as close as they could in the damp. 
“Glad you tested out that ladder, I think we’re about to give it some use.”
Shion’s voice was all curiosity. “Wait, how?”
“We could theorize, but I think you’ll enjoy the practical application much more,” Nezumi teased, fingers linking with Shion’s under the water. “Besides, it sounds like I need to show you some new techniques.”
Shion’s wet palm slid against his, displaying all the clumsy confidence Nezumi couldn’t get enough of, as they sloshed forward. 
“I think I can show you a few too, Nezumi.”
Nezumi laughed, pulling him in.
“Maybe next time. I feel like teaching you something for once. Pay attention, okay?”
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no6secretsanta · 2 years ago
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From: @ulkonja
For: @quills-and-characters
Happy holidays!
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no6secretsanta · 2 years ago
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For @ulkonja from your pinch hitters @weiselzelle and @spidersauna. Happy holidays!
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kafsho · 7 years ago
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Një e thënë latine e Kohës së Mesme, e ndryshuar pak: Homo homini lupus – Njeriu për njeriun është ujk. Femina feminae lupior – Gruaja për gruan është më ujke. Albanus Albano lupissimus – Shqiptari për shqiptarin është fare ujk [ujk e shkuar ujkut].
Faik Konica, (Albania, qershor 1902, nr.5) Kur shqiptarët ishin qytetarë, stërgjyshërit e frëngjve dhe të anglezëve visheshin me lëkura bualli dhe rronin të futur në shpellat
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kafsho · 7 years ago
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(...) Kështu një ditë, kur po kthehej nga shkolla e fshatit, atij i dolën përpara 4 ujq, ndërsa ai, për të shpëtuar nga përballja me ta u detyrua të hipte në pemë. (...)
Mbi atë pemë ai qëndroi me shpresën se ujqërit do të iknin, ose ndofta së shpejti aty do të kalonin udhëtarët, por për fat të keq nuk ndodhi as njëra e as tjetra. Atë ditë nuk kaloi asnjeri deri në mbrëmje, kur më në fund disa gjahtarë po ktheheshin në shtëpitë e tyre me çiftet në krah dhe ndonjë shpend të vrarë në trastë. Kur panë Dritëronë e vogël në majë të lisit, ata u çuditën (...) Dritëroi u tregoi vendndodhjen e ujqërve dhe njëri prej tyre qëlloi me çifte në atë drejtim, duke vrarë ujkun më të vogël. Në vend që të gëzohej, Dritëroi u pikëllua (...). Më vonë, këtë ngjarje të jetës Dritëroi e kornizoi në përmasat e një tregimi me titullin “Ujku”. Tregimi në fjalë, i mbështetur mbi këtë histori, është shkruar në vitin 1963 dhe ka qenë pjesë e përmbledhjes “Zhurma e erërave të dikurshme”, e cila u ndalua. Një nga arsyet e ndalimit ishte edhe tregimi “Ujku”, pasi kritika e kohës vlerësoi se autori aludonte për vrasjen e ndonjë “ujku të madh, komunist”. Libri u botua në 1964, por u ndalua edhe për tregimin “Ujku” (...)
Por një ngjarje tjetër e moshës fëmijërore, ose paraadoleshente, mund ta rrezikonte atë që të shkonte në Institutin Bujqësor për të ndjekur degën e Veterinarisë, ku, pa dyshim, do të humbiste disa vite kohë, për studimin e sëmundjeve të kafshëve apo ilaçeve shëruese për ta. Ngjarja që rrezikoi vendimin e tij i ndodhi një natë në shtëpi, kur pa kalin e tij të shtrirë në haur. Familja e tyre kishte një kalë shumë të mirë në shtëpi, të cilin kohët e fundit Dritëroi e mbante afër dhe e përdorte më shumë se të gjithë. Edhe në dasma ai shkonte me të, në një kohë që të gjithë djemtë bënin garë se kush do t’ia çonte shaminë e nuses i pari në vatrën ku martohej. Kjo ishte një traditë e vjetër, në formë loje, ku fëmijët dhe adoleshentët argëtoheshin shumë. Dritëroi, nga ana e tij, kishte dalë shpesh i pari në garat me kuaj, si edhe në rastet e dorëzimit të shamisë te shtëpia e nuses që martohej. (...) -Ti je i mrekullueshëm – i thoshte ai shpesh kalit të tij, duke qëndruar krenar për shpejtësinë dhe zotësinë e kafshës. Por një mbrëmje, kali nuk ndihej mirë dhe ishte shtrirë në haur. Kjo ishte hera e parë dhe e fundit që atij i ndodhte një gjë e tillë. Duke riprodhuar fjalët e rrëfimit të Dritëroit për këtë rast, atij i dukej sikur “kali qante, dhe qante vërtet”.
Vajti në shtëpi dhe u tha pjesëtarëve të familjes se kali ishte shtrirë përtokë dhe po qante. Ata nuk e kishin dëgjuar ndonjëherë që kali të shtrihej përtokë dhe kjo gjë iu duk e habitshme. -Jo mor, – i tha Rexhepi, – se nuk shtrihet kali. Ai edhe kur fle, fle në këmbë. Pas këtij alarmi, të gjithë vajtën në haur dhe panë se vërtet kali ishte shtrirë dhe lëngonte. Pastaj, a thua se po priste që të shikonte për herë të fundit të zotët e vet për t’u dhënë lamtumirën, ai mbylli sytë dhe ngordhi. Kjo i ka mbetur merak Dritëroit dhe prandaj, disa vite më vonë, pas mbarimit të gjimnazit në Gjirokastër, ai kërkoi të vazhdonte studimet për në degën e veterinarisë. (...)  Një nga gjërat që i ka mbetur në mendje Dritëroit gjatë viteve të vegjëlisë, ishte kau i plakur i qerres, të cilin i ati e mbajti gjer në fund të jetës pa e therur. Ai e lëshonte të kulloste në livadh dhe i thoshte të birit: “Akoma ha bar, i shkreti, po dhëmbët i janë shkurtuar, se ngaherë përtypet”. Ai ishte një ka ahuri dhe e thërrisnin me emrin Kazil. Edhe kur u plak dhe nuk mund të lëronte, i ati nuk e theri për ta bërë pastërma. “Të rrojë sa të rrojë”, thoshte ai. Dhe një ditë kaut i shkanë këmbët e plakura dhe ra në një monopat shkëmbor, në Poçravë, ku ndodhet një kodër, mbi fshatin Menkulas, përtej lumit të Devollit. Rexhepi kur e mori vesh, i erdhi keq për ngjarjen dhe tha: “Kau ngordhi”. Dritëroi gjithashtu u pikëllua dhe nuk foli asnjë fjalë. (...)
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kafsho · 6 years ago
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kafsho · 7 years ago
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kafsho · 9 years ago
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kafsho · 10 years ago
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Në një vend që duhat, edhe sipërmarrja është si Ulkonja e Romës që ushqen me qumështin e saj edhe Remin edhe Romulin, që në fund këta të vrasin njëri-tjetrin.
Arian Galdini, Letër tim biri
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kiitoskiitos · 3 years ago
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commission for my friend @ulkonja ♡♡
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