#uhm. anyways this is a quick late-night messy 'just get anything out of my system' kinda doodle so its very. blehh in some places lol

[realjem-art]

Messy thing

[shotosprincess]

BAKUGO SCREAMING AND IZUKU

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ AAAA HIII TYSM FOR REPLYING TO THE BNHA PLAYLIST THINGY FOR FICS I LOVE YOU MWAHMWAH

anyways aaa bet !! ill do midoriya first if you don’t mind bc im currently in such a soft mood and hajdjj i just love him sm :((

— 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙯𝙪𝙠𝙪 𝙢𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙮𝙖’𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙨

inspired by this playlist by nimbus on yt !! pls check them out ansjdjf their playlists r heaven ^^

❝ you never truly understood that about him, the way he continued to put himself through the pain, to push himself, even, past his limits and then some—

plus ultra. and now his arms were all but littered with rough scars of diluted white and blunt tan. ❞

notes ! gender neutral! reader,, best friends to lovers au ,, 2nd person pov

summary: in which your best friend deku shows up at your dorm late at night due to kacchan locking him out. he asks for bandages to stabilize his newly-healed scars, and you ask to kiss them.

genre: fluff !! <33

it went without a doubt that deku had been to recovery girls’ office more times than anyone else at the academy. it hurt, honestly; each time you saw his still-healing figure emerge from the little swing of her door, a sharp pang reverberated starkly through your chest, for though the freshly-scarred over wounds didn’t diminish his beauty in the slightest, you simply couldn’t deny that an empty eddy of sadness settled in you whenever he was in such a state.

and unfortunately for you, he was constantly in it.

his body could only take so much. and he was still so young too—the very same held true for your heart.

it’s been that way ever since the two of you had first entered ua as shining, eager students. though in all fairness you had to admit, he was...different from the very beginning. even as the prelude to his eventual rising and growth in his quirk, he had shone with a certain unmatched brilliance ever since the entrance exams. and over the years you spent together, you had watched him persevere so passionately towards the glow of his ultimate goal; to be a hero who can help others. little did he know just how much he already had. he had always been so excruciatingly oblivious and aloof to even the evidence and affects of his own kindness, and you hated the fact that so many tended to take advantage of it. of him.

though, of course, this did not mean that he was weak in any form. no, if anything he was quite the polar opposite—he had proved it time and time again, and yet it didn’t mean that he couldn’t get hurt too. the dull aching of tiredness ringing in his eyes, the one he tries to desperately to mask, the ragged marks scattered across the pale valleys of his once-scar-barren skin; he wasn’t immune to pain, to injury. and yet, he fought. you never truly understood that about him, the way he continued to put himself through the pain, to push himself, even, past his limits and then some—

plus ultra. and now his arms were all but littered with rough scars of diluted white and blunt tan.

nevertheless, truth be told, you actually admired it a great deal. his sheer determination, the purity of his motives, it was more than laudable. despite all of it, you truly couldn’t help but feel this...magnetic urge to help him. protect him. if you could soothe the pain in any way, even if it would be but a temporary relief—

three knocks clack on the door.

you and izuku’s secret door code—just a silly little something the two of you made up a few months after the dorm system had been put into motion, and all so you could sneak out to the grass-flooded yards of the building and train together.

naturally, you open the door.

“ heyyy there you are! “

your head perks up at the cheery jingling of his voice, all drafts of exhaustion and sleep deprivation washing away almost instantaneously. he might as well be the very personification of caffeine at that point, despite how direly he needed it himself.

the starry shine of his eyes meets with yours as a diluted sanguine seeped colour into his face. he turns his head away awkwardly.

you lean against the doorframe, smiling at him. “ deku...you didn’t tell me we’d be training today. plus it’s a little late right now, don’t you think? i’m already in my pajamas. “

“ yeah, um, sorry about that. kacchan...kinda locked me out. “

“ he what? “

“ he locked me out. “

“ how does that even—don’t you have separate rooms? “

“ well, yeah, but we were racing down the halls after glass today and he...got to my room before i could. well, honestly i have no clue what he’s doing over there. “ he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“ oookay then. little concerning, i won’t lie. “ your shoulders lift in a shrug, arms crossing in front of your chest as your shy laugh matches his.

“ so i was wondering if...you know...i could maybe stay here for a bit? “ his voice wavers subtly, though you’re quick to catch it. the tips of his ears flush with a deepened pink.

you can’t help but silently gush about how cute he looked.

you’re quick to snap out of that too. eyes bursting open with a brilliant shock, you notice he’s fiddling nervously with his fingers as you remain absolutely, positively frozen in place.

“ i’m—what? “

his countenance immediately shifts to one of sheer embarrassment. flustered, he begins to frantically wave his hands in front of him, as if to put some sort of considerable distance between his panicking self and your seemingly-composed demeanour. and as if that would do anything to deescalate the tension which was only progressively building between your equally-timid selves at this moment.

“ ohmygod i didn’t mean it in a weird way or anything! i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’ll just—i’ll just go— “

you slide against the wood a little bit, pushing your weight against the slightly-agape door, so it swung open even further to reveal the, admittedly, fairly-messy state of your room. draped carelessly on the side of your bed, a sweater you had taken off earlier because the temperature of your room had suddenly decided to heat up an unreasonable amount. countable cups holding shallow pools of hour-old drinks scattered throughout nearly every shelf. a creased textbook splayed out, cover up on your desk.

yep. definitely looked like someone’s lived here.

“ i mean...you could come in if you want. no one’s stopping you. it’s a little messy though, i haven’t found much time to properly clean it yet, with exams coming soon and stuff. “ a small smile accompanies your growing blush, despite how much you were trying to play it off as nonchalantly as possible.

psh, right. as if letting him in your room—something you had never done prior in the history of your friendship—wasn’t a big deal in the slightest.

his eyes shoot wide as his arms flail about. you have to keep yourself from laughing at his silliness.

“ uhm, i mean...only if that’s okay with you! “

“ yeah, yeah, of course! you need a place to stay for now, after all. who knows when bakugou’s gonna let you back in? “

“ yeah, i guess you’re right. well, i mean, if you really don’t mind— “

you playfully roll your eyes, giggling as you shove him into your room.

“ oh, quit it with the politeness. you’re too nice, you know that? “

“ too...nice? “

“ too nice. “ you reiterate, giving his shoulders a little squeeze.

his head lolls to the side as he carefully lowers himself onto your bed, his sweater shifting with the subtle movement.

for a few moments, the space between you is occupied with a simple, comfortable silence. it’s refreshing, really. a welcome difference from all the boisterousness of the academy. you loved the action and everyone’s energy, of course, but sometimes what you really needed was really just a simple break from everything. to do nothing but exist for a little while, to simply be without the constant pressure of having to get up and jump into action all the time. just for a few moments. and so you relished in these said moments spent with him, for who knows when the next time you could ever be with him like this again would be?

and then his voice fills that void of silence, but you’re not disappointed in the slightest.

“ hey. “

“ yeah? “

“ you don’t happen to have any extra bandages, do you? “

“ bandages? for what? “

he clenches his fist, flexing the muscles in his arm. “ for...stability. just in case. i can’t afford for my arms to get hurt more. “

“ oh. well, uhm...i think i have a few spares in my drawer! “ you push yourself off the bed, leaving the comfort the soft sheets brought about, pulling open a tiny drawer. taking out a transparent box of bandages, you jump back onto the plushness, sitting cross-legged directly across from midoriya, who’s already presenting his arm.

your lips silently part as your fingers wrap themselves around the thick ivory fabrics of bandage, rolling them around so you could wrap them around him.

another pause of wordless silence falls.

“ hey deku? “

“ yeah? “

“ could i...could i kiss your scars? “ you whisper, afraid that he’d get mad, though you knew he was anything but the type to do such a thing.

the meadow depths of his eyes kindle a cozy hearth within you as his initial surprise quickly softens, melting away into what could only be described as the most endearing smile to exist.

“ sure. “

jagged patches and uneven streaks of faded cloud white and prominent earthy tans decorate his arms, and you can’t help but bring the rosiness of your lips to meet them. you decide begin with the ones littered along his fingers.

one kiss for the scar resting within the curved dip between his thumb and index.

“ for every time you used just a flick of your fingers to defend everyone back then, when you didn’t even have full control over your quirk. “

a longing sigh leaves him as he reminisces briefly on the memory. you place a soft kiss upon the scar resting at the side of his pinky.

“ for every fist you made with this hand, for every punch you’ve delivered in the name of other’s safety. “

a drop splashed onto his arm, trickling down and tainting the scars etched into his forearm with a subtle, diaphanous sheen. you look up through your lashes, and a prominent gloss coats the kindness of his dark emeralds. your hand comes up to carefully caress his cheek, cupping it gently as the pad of your thumb swipes beneath his eye, wiping away the upcoming tear. your features are knitted together in concern.

“ are you okay? i can stop if you want me to— “

he takes your hand in both of his, squeezing as if to keep you there forever. “ no, don’t. please.“

it’s a tiny whisper, a softened plea into the dark quiet of the night, as if he were ashamed for wanting to be taken care of. your brows curve downward as you pull your twined hands to your lips, tenderly planting your lips where your skin kissed his.

“ hey, hey. it’s okay. it’s okay. “ you hush him, running your free hand through his thick tendrils of vivid, verdant green.

he leans into your touch, nodding at you as if to urge you to continue, which you gladly accept.

you shift a little closer to him, kissing the thick mark of serration painted into the skin of his wrist.

“ for every countless moment you’ve sacrificed for your dream. “

another kiss to the one just above it.

“ for every hour bled into the night that you spent helping me train. “

your fingers dance along his arm, finally stopping at the scar stretching from his elbow and dragging upwards. as per routine, your lips come down to delicately kiss it.

“ for every ‘ plus ultra! ‘ you’ve ever passionately shouted. “

little giggles left the both of you at that.

your touch trails to the scar just beside it, kissing it as well.

“ for every life you’ve ever saved. “

you look him in the eye. holding his arm like this, you were so close to him. and yet, you didn’t want to pull away. if anything, it was the very last thing you would ever want to do. he matched your stare, a certain sense of longing displaying in your gaze as it reflects off of his. the prolonged stare lasts longer than it probably should, longer than what best friends should probably look at each other this closely, this intimately for. the moonlight dimly shines through your window.

and then it happens.

his lips collide with yours in a captivating symphony, hands going straight to twirl through the locks of your hair as you wrap yours in a loose loop around his neck. everything feels as though it had all snapped into place, and the tension you had felt before was all completely dissipated now, displaced into the passion in which this kiss exuded. it was earth-shattering, galaxy-shredding. it felt as if even pain itself could never reach either of you, not in this moment.

this moment was for the both of you, and no one else. in this moment, in his arms, nothing and no one could hurt you.

he pulls away, stunned, lips parted with a saturated red. you stare at him with just about the same level of blankness, of utter shock at what you two had just done.

but then the realization catches up with him, and he is pulled out of the daze. much to your surprise, he doesn’t move away. if anything, he pulls you closer, enveloping both your hands within his just as he did before.

and just as you had done earlier, he brings them to his lips.

“ and that’s for every ‘ i love you ‘ i’ve ever wanted to say to you but never had the guts to. “

[wildly-lost-lantern]

Seven Point Star

A/N GUESS WHOS BACK!!! IS ME BITCHES! Ah this took so so so long to write and get out. I’m sorry. But, I’m having a grand ole time writing, and I’m already working out the third chapter. 

Pairings: OT7 x Female OC

Genre: Lowkey crack, lowkey fluff.

Warnings: None right now!

Word count: 2500+

Chapter Two: Meeting Them

Two days after my audition, I was sitting in a café with my best friend, Jennie. She sat back in her chair, a smug smile playing on her lips. All I could do was groan at her.

"Seriously, Yuna. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. You'll be fine, I promise!" her voice conveyed an amusement I wasn't happy about. I glared at her slightly, annoyed that she didn't understand my concerns.

"Look, I'm just concerned. What if-" my sentence was cut short by my ringtone. I looked down and saw BigHit flashing across my screen. Immediately, I answered. "This is Park Yuna," I said, professionalism lacing my words. The woman on the other end of the line told me that I have officially been offered the job, and to look at my email for the paperwork and see when my first day was. After a brief conversation, the call ended.

"Told you so," Jennie's smug response made me roll my eyes. She was insufferable when she was right about something. I simply ignored her and looked out the window. A face caught my eye, and for a brief moment, I thought it was my mom.

"Oh my god," my voice was barely above a whisper, and by the time Jennie turned to see what had caught my attention, the woman was gone. I brushed it off and we continued our conversation.

"So? You never did tell me if you met any of the idols," she said to me, leaning forward as if we were talking about some big secret. I shrugged in response.

"Yeah, I met Namjoon and Hoseok, so what? They're people too, you know," I pretended to be disinterested, obviously to mess with her. She always got so excited by meeting new idols. She worked with them on a daily basis, so how she was always so excited was beyond me.

"And your point is, exactly?" she sassed back, her left eyebrow raised in a 'try me' way. I simply giggled.

"They're nice. I mostly spent the time teaching, you know, trying to get a job and all?" I let my snarky attitude come out in full affect. She simple scoffed and pouted my way.

"You're no fun," she said. If one could speak in tiny font, she would be. I just smiled at her, raising my cup in agreement. “Anyway, I’m proud of you. When’s your first day?” She then asked, subtly asking when I would see those men again.

“Monday. I’m teaching them choreo for their new song. They’re getting ready for a comeback,” I said, drinking the last of my coffee. I noticed a younger girl watching me, so I leaned in to Jennie to whisper, “We should probably talk about this in private.” I glanced back at the girl, noticing she was still watching.

“Yeah, so, let’s grab some more coffee and head home, how’s that sound?” She asked, making sure it looked like we were done having a conversation and just leaving.

“Honestly, I’m ready to get out of these, clothes. Let’s do it,” I said, standing with her to go to the counter. When I glanced back at the kid, she was whispering to her friend, point at Jennie and me. As soon as our drinks were up, we left the shop and walked to our shared apartment.

“Anyway, I got asked out, again. Like, can’t these guys realize I’m not the dating type? I like being able to just go out and have fun, and,” Jennie looked over at me, realizing I wasn’t listening, “sleep with whatever dumb guy looks at me for three seconds to long? Getting wasted every night. You’re not listening anymore.” She crossed her arms over her chest, sending a soft glare my way.

“Oh! Sorry, sorry, I zoned out. I should be getting the track shortly after my forms are completed, so I was working through some things in my head. I’m all ears now, though!” I smiled and nudged her gently, guiding her back to her story.

Once we both made it home, we got comfy and put on a Netflix show, mostly for background noise as I worked on my paperwork. Shortly after I emailed it back to the company, I got sent the new albums completed track list. Much to Jennie’s disappointment, I couldn’t share it with her at all. I downloaded the files onto my phone and plugged my headphones in, getting right to work. Writing down counts, moves, positions for each of the seven men, transitions, and everything else took nearly two and a half hours. That was only one song. I spent the rest of the night working on other songs before I caved and went to sleep.

I woke up the next day, getting right back to work, finishing up the choreographies for the last few songs through breakfast and the first half of the day. After I ate lunch, I went to the dance studio I practiced at, and worked out the kinks in as many songs as I could get through. Then my phone rang. “Hey, Jennie. What’s up?” I answered my phone, chugging down some water after a particularly difficult dance sequence.

“Hey, it’s almost six-thirty. Want me to bring dinner to the studio?” She asked, obviously cooking. If it was already six-thirty and I got through two and a half songs, I could probably go home for the day.

“No, I’ll come home. I’m done for the day I think. I got a lot done,” I said, starting to pack my stuff. By the time the call ended, I was already out of the studio, walking to the apartment. Then, my phone rang again, this time and unknown number. Not knowing who it could be, I sent it to voicemail. Thirty seconds later, the same number called again.

“Hello?” I said, answering it this time. I tried to stay as neutral as possible, not knowing if it could be a fellow staff member or not.

“Hi, is this Park Yuna?” the person on the other end asked. I thought I recognized the voice, but I wasn’t sure.

“Yes, may I ask who’s calling?” I responded, keeping my voice respectful. I felt myself walking quicker due to nerves.

“Ah, sorry, it’s Kim Namjoon. I was wondering, have you been working on the choreography? I know it was all kind of quick, but seriously, you are the best we had seen. You even taught me a lyrical piece,” he quickly explained. I laughed softly, shaking my head.

“Yes, I’ve been working on it. I have the title track down, and another one finished. We can get started right away tomorrow morning,” I said, keeping my confidence high. “Why did you call me about that, though? Wouldn’t it be better left to managers or something?” I asked, coming to a stop outside my apartment. A soft laugh came from the other side, as I rested against the door frame.

“Well, yeah. But as the leader of this group, I like to know all the people we work closely with,” he said with a sigh. I felt like he was hiding something, but I decided not to push my luck.

“That makes sense. I’ll see you in the morning, Mr. Kim,” I said, getting ready to hang up the phone call.

“In the morning then, Miss Park,” He said, ending the call. I smiled softly at my phone, slightly amused by the leader.

I entered my apartment, wrapping my tail around my calf. “Jennie? I’m home,” I called out as I took off my shoes and put my bag down.

“Ah! Yuna, I’m in here. I’m almost done,” Jennie yelled from the kitchen. I smiled, walking in that direction. “I made a stir fry, babes. How did it go at the studio?” She was putting food onto plates for us when I stepped into the room.

“It went great, I got two done. The title track and an extra one just in case they want to work on something else tomorrow,” I said as I sat down at the kitchen island. Jennie sat across from me and smiled.

“So, are you excited?” she leaned forward slightly, her eyes shining with interest. The way she sat, staring at me was making it known we were having this conversation even if I didn’t like it.

“I’m really excited actually. Maybe a little nervous,” I started, taking a bite into my food. “This is really good! Thank you,” I immediately started shoveling food into my mouth, having not realized how hungry I was.

“Jeez, lady, breath!” Jennie laughed out loud at me, obviously amused by my antics. “Anyway, did anything interesting happen today?” She asked me, trying to pry some sort of gossip from me. Her face was easy to read, having known her most of my life.

“Uhm, nothing much, I think? I’ve just been, you know, working?” I giggled at her softly, my natural snark coming through.

“Yeah, okay. But seriously, did you get to meet anyone new? Make any friends?” She asked, quickly finishing up her food. All I could do was shake my head.

“No, I locked myself in the sound proof dance studio and just focused,” I said, getting up to help with the dishes that needed to be done. Just leaving them out would stress me out. After the small chore was done, Jennie and I sat on the couch, watching some show on Netflix. A few hours had passed, and I was getting tired, so I stood up. “Alright, it’s late, so I’m going to bed, babes,” I told her. I gave her a hug and went to my room to crawl into bed.

The next morning, I woke up to my alarm blaring my favorite song. I knew Jennie was already gone, so I loaded up my Spotify and started to get ready for my day. I threw on my favorite work out leggings and paired them with my favorite long-sleeved shirt. I pulled my dark brown hair up into a messy bun. I ate a quick breakfast, and then collected my dance book, phone charger, water bottle, and a change of socks. I threw it all into a small back pack, and then grabbed my lanyard with my keys and wallet. Pulling on my sneakers, I headed to the building. I had to get a badge for being able to get deeper into the building without having to get a security escort if I was going to continue to work there full time.

It was nine when I arrived at the BigHit building, which was just enough time to get all settled in before the group was scheduled to arrive. From the moment I stepped foot in the building, it was a whirl wind of chaos getting me in their employee system and my security badge. Before I knew it, I was in the practice room, reading over my notes. Five minutes later, BTS started to stream in through the door. Once they all had arrived, I smiled softly and shook my head. This was it. Time to prove my worth.

“Alright! Let’s get started,” I clapped my hands to get their attention. I suddenly felt a little over whelmed with all seven pairs of eyes on me. Nevertheless, I continued on. “I’m Yuna, your new choreographer. J-Hope, I’ll probably work closely with you. Anything I need to know about you all before we get started?” I asked, looking around the small circle. Immediately, J-Hope stepped toward me and smiled brightly.

“Nice to see you again, Yuna. Welcome to the team. You did really well, and I’m glad the company decided to choose you. Let me know if and how I can help. Again, please call me by my real name, not my stage name,” he said, gently patting my shoulder.

“You’re not Korean? Where are you from?” Taehyung, the ever curious guy he is, asked me. I looked at him shocked, not used to being asked that so directly. However, before I could reply, Yoongi stepped in.

“Taehyung, you can’t just be so blunt with people. It sets them on edge,” He scolded softly. I just shook my head and laughed.

“Well, it’s okay. I’m from America. I moved here to work for companies like BigHit, because they best options in America was ballet companies, and that just wasn’t for me,” I explained to them. They all looked at me with wide eyes.

“Wait, so you just left your home country and moved somewhere different… for a job?” Jeongguk asked me, looking amazed. I simply nodded in response. “Whoa, noona, you’re so cool!” He clapped slightly, his bright smile making me smile.

“Actually, you all are older than me,” I said softly, suddenly unsure if they’d be so happy to have me here if they knew I was young. There was a collective gasp throughout the room.

“Really?? What year were you born? I can’t believe you’re younger than me,” the overly excited youngest asked me, nearly bouncing with joy.

“Uhm, ninety-nine,” I said, suddenly overwhelmed by his energy. “Alright, we should get started. Which song do you guys want to start with?” After a brief discussion on the best place to start, we decided to go with the chorus of the title song. I jumped right in to blocking making sure the boys knew which direction they were going to be coming from as well. “Now, you, Hoseok, you’ll come center for twenty counts. Okay, good. Now you have this move,” I said, demonstrating the arm movement with the foot work I decided on.

“Wow, you’re really a great teacher, Yuna-ssi,” Seokjin said, grabbing my shoulder gently. I flushed under the praise, although it was completely innocent. We continued through with learning the transition into the chorus, out of the chorus formation, and the dance during. After about an hour of hard work, I decided on a break.

“Yah! Don’t touch that, you brat. You’ll break it,” Yoongi said to Namjoon, unsurprisingly. I turned around to see him trying to mess with the speakers and sound system in the room. I giggled and went back to looking over my notes, taking long drinks of my water.

“Yuna! Watch this! I turned to see Jeongguk goofing around with Jimin. I shook my head at their antics. All of a sudden a familiar song started to blast through the speakers. My phone had started to ring. When I looked down at the caller ID, I almost stopped breathing. On my screen, in bold lettering, was my mother’s name. With shaking hands, I disconnected my Bluetooth and answered it.

[artificialqueens]

E.V.O.L - Chapter 4 (Trixya) - VicThirteen

A/N: Hieee! Did my best to post this one a little faster than the others. Do you still like this story? (Much like Violet, I need constant validation, ok?) Anyway, let’s make some people touch their faces together, amirite? Thanksss <3

Chapter 4 – You don’t love me, big fucking deal

Trixie was angry. Since Katya had stated her attraction to her assistant, the younger girl tried hard to shake it off of her mind and not let it get in too deep. But it wasn’t working. She loved to know that someone as special as Katya liked her, making her just as special. She loved the idea of being wanted by a famous, important person. She felt totally VIP for having Katya’s private number on her phone. But, most of all, she felt just like a little girl every time Katya complimented her or noticed the little things she did.

So that meant Trixie was now very frustrated, because Alaska was around all the time. Seemed like she and Katya had really reconnected, given her weekly visits and how many times Katya had arrived late because they were having lunch together. Trixie was so bothered she finally told Kim about everything, explaining how she thought Alaska wasn’t a very nice person and how confused she was with Katya’s attitude.

“Jealousy is a sin, Trixie” was Kim’s first response. But before Trixie could yell at her, she quickly added “Okay, from what I’ve seen and what you’ve told me, I believe she likes you. She’s very lovable towards everyone, but… I don’t know. I have a feeling this is a real thing, you know?”

Trixie bit her lip and immersed herself in thoughts. She and Katya hadn’t spent so much time talking lately, since the artist was now working on her new piece – the one with the light bulbs. She spent a lot of time with a programmer, figuring out how to get the little spotlights to light up in the right order. Then she locked herself in the atelier, the only window in the room closed, giving life to her imagination in the dark.

Luckily for Trixie, Kim and Pearl had agreed to make their final projects with her, so the trio began to work on a performance idea. Kim would make the costume and make-up, Pearl would produce a track, and Trixie would dance. Her frustration for not getting all the attention from Katya anymore was so big that she decided to challenge herself: instead of tap dancing, she was gonna do a classical ballet choreography. Yes, she struggled with the goddamn pointe shoes and she wasn’t so flexible. But she wanted to keep busy and make a big impression.

She arrived at the studio early for the hundredth time in the past six weeks and made her way to the office upstairs. The room was empty, meaning Katya was in her atelier. She left her bag at her desk and walked to the other wooden door and knocked twice, hearing a muffled “come in”. Inside, Katya was sitting on the floor, surrounded by wires and light bulbs. A shapeless structure was taking form, rising from the ground like retorted tree branches, an empty space right in the middle.

“Hey! Just wanted to let you know I’m here, in case you need anything” Trixie said, trying not to let her eyes wander too much around the room. If Katya kept her work locked in there, she probably wanted to keep it unseen.

“Thank you!” the older woman replied and got up, raising her arms up to stretch her tired muscles. The movement caused her striped shirt to lift a little, showing off her defined pale stomach, a hint of her hipbones poking out of her black jeans. She let a soft moan escape and with her eyes closed, she cracked her neck, then her knuckles. Trixie wasn’t sure if that image was supposed to be as sensual as it was to her, but she definitely felt warm all around, forgetting to breathe for a second.

“Tatianna went to get croissants a while ago. Let’s go get a snack downstairs!” Katya walked out of the room, followed by the younger blonde, and went to their break room on the ground floor. Tatianna was standing next to the coffee machine, a red mug in her hands.

“Hi, Trixie!” the brunette greeted her with a quick kiss to her cheek. “You’re right on time, boss!” she turned to Katya. “Coffee is almost ready! The croissants are in the microwave!”

“Awesome!” Katya opened the little white door to find a big paper bag filled with warm and great smelling snacks. She took a napkin from the counter and grabbed a bun, offering it to Trixie. The girl accepted with a smile, looking for the pink little mug she had left there for her coffee breaks.

Once the three women had their breakfast in hand, they sat at the small round table, sipping their hot drinks. “So” Trixie broke the silence “are you finally trying to contact the aliens upstairs?”

Katya looked up, swallowing a piece of her croissant, a smirk appearing on the corner of her lips. “Oh honey, I don’t need to contact them if I’m part of the gang. Can’t you see I’m out if this world?” Her eyebrows wiggled up and down and Trixie rolled her eyes.

“Well, I can’t wait for the big reveal. It looks like Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s lab in there.”

“This is a big one” Katya smiled, more to herself, and glanced to Tatianna before continuing, her grayish blue eyes wide to Trixie’s direction. “If rehab was my 2007, this exhibition is gonna be my Blackout, bitch.”

Trixie couldn’t hold the hysterical laughter that came out of her. “Alright, Britney. Give us more!”

“Oh, I will” Katya replied with a serious look that quickly turned into a grin. She finished her coffee and wiped her lips, staining the paper napkin in bright red. “I’m gonna work in my spaceship for another half hour, then we’ll go over the exhibition’s plans, okay? Meet me in the office.”

“Sure thing, boss” Trixie winked at her and the older blonde left the room. That was a good moment to get her doubts out of her system. Tatianna was Katya’s friend, and now she was Trixie’s friend too. And she needed a few answers before she went crazy.

“Tati” she called, the brunette looking up from her phone where she’d been tapping before. “Can I ask you something? I promise I’m not trying to gossip, I’m honestly curious.”

“Yeah, girl. What’s up?”

“What is Katya’s deal with Alaska? Like, she said they’re friends, but I’m not sure if that’s all. Sometimes it seems like they have feelings for each or something.” Trixie tried to make it sound casual, holding back the desperation in her heart.

Tatianna laughed lightly and rolled her eyes. “Oh, there’s nothing there. And there never was!” Trixie started to feel relieved, but it was a little too soon. “Of course they flirt and I think they’ve hooked up before. But, see, Katya is a flirt. She has this whole speech about not believing in love, and how she’s not willing to compromise even though she loves everyone. Choices, right?” She laughed again and Trixie faked it back. Oh no. This didn’t feel good.

“So, what, you don’t think she could actually like someone beyond physical attraction?”

“I mean, she could! But I don’t think she wants too. She’s happy when she’s on the run, honey. Trust me, I’ve been there”, she gave a knowing look to Trixie. Shit, she knows? “When I met Katya, the studio was still an idea. She’s gorgeous and charming, and she likes to flirt – but she hardly ever means it. Then we became friends, and I learned about all of this. I mean, I’m not saying she’s a bad bitch. Far from it. But she’s damaged, you know? I did my best to be her friend and be there for her. And you should too. Don’t get your hopes up, Trixie. I say this because I like you, okay?”

She felt like a joke. A pathetic joke. She thought she was being smart and had control over this. Little did she know! Trixie stretched her lips in a forced smile. “Of course! I wouldn’t be dumb enough to fall for her charm” she shrugged and Tatianna raised her eyebrows.

“Uhm… ouch! Okay, I think Katya needs you upstairs, right?” The pretty brunette got up, leaving her empty cup in the sink, and left for her desk. There she was, the bitchy Trixie Mattel. Something inside her felt cold and broke. She wasn’t special, at all. There was nothing there. She was another cute girl Katya wanted to have fun with.

Big fucking deal, she thought, while cleaning up the remains of their breakfast and walking up the stairs. She doesn’t know how I actually feel, and she won’t. She can’t use it to charm me anymore.

She got into the office just a minute before Katya. The boss had her hair tied up in a very messy bun, her eyes looking very tired. She smiled to Trixie while she sat on her black chair and got all the papers they were supposed to work on out of her desk’s drawer.

“Come sit over here, I want you to help me with this” Katya nodded to the space beside her.

Trixie got up, unable to make her face look any happy, and dragged her chair to sit next to Katya. “Just so you know, I can’t stay until the end of day. I need to practice for my final performance. And I got here early, so I’m only doing the daily six hours.”

“Okay, sure. Do you need anything, or…” Katya answered cautiously, not sure of what could have made the joyful Barbie look so pissed off.

“No, I’m good. Let’s get this over with” Trixie took the paperwork and a pen in her hands, ready to dive in the boring work and not have to stare at Katya’s beautiful blue eyes anymore.

–

For a whole week Trixie acted like a total asshole. For another one she just kept to herself, ignoring her boss as much as she could while still doing her job, so it felt like she had some control over this impossible situation. Katya was scared to ask, not knowing how to deal with the inconsistent behavior of the girl. But Kim couldn’t take it anymore. One night, just after they got ready for bed, she walked up to Trixie with fierce eyes and a worried heart.

“Trixie, what the fuck is going on? You’ve broken your own record of bitchiness. Why are you so fucking sad?”

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m not sad” Trixie didn’t face her, stretching her blanket over her bed.

“Yes, you do. You shoved your head up your own ass, you’ve been insulting everyone and you haven’t said a word about your work, or Katya, for two weeks. So spill it.”

Trixie sat down and went silent for a minute, slowly fluffing her pillow and starring at her own hands. “She doesn’t like me” she said, her voice so low Kim almost didn’t understand.

“Katya? Why do you say that? Did she say something to you?” Kim sat beside her friend and held one of her hands between hers.

The blonde girl swallowed and took a deep breath. The hardest thing in the world for her was to let out her feelings like this. It was like trying to pull a dress out of key hole. So when she started telling Kim about her conversation with Tatianna, she couldn’t hold the tears that managed to escape her blue eyes.

“Oh no, honey” Kim said in a motherly tone, wiping the tears with her fingers. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah! I mean, Tati has been Katya’s friend for years, she knows her!” Trixie looked the saddest her friend had ever seen. “Besides,” she continued, looking into the distance with annoyance in her eyes, “She goes out with Alaska all the fucking time. Even if she was interested in anything in me, she’s not thinking about it”.

Kim thought for a second on how to respond. Even though she had way less experience than Trixie with relationships, she ended up being way more mature than her best friend when it came to feelings.

“Trixie,” she chose her words carefully, “you’re brokenhearted. And I know it hurts because I’ve never seen you like this before. But this also means this is important. When we cry about something, it’s important. Honey, be honest with yourself. You fell in love”.

This made Trixie shut her eyes and cry even harder. It felt like someone had sentenced her to death. Looking at Katya’s smile everyday was torture for her, especially knowing she didn’t cause it, since her sadness made her the worst person to have around.

“Kim, I don’t know how to do this. I wish I could quit and forget I ever met her. God, this stupid internship!” She punched her pillow and sobbed again, every feeling she had bottled up so far coming out at once.

“How long do you still need to work there?”

“I still need another month, but the contract is six months long.”

“Well… then quit when you got what you need. The college will take the papers if she signs them, even if you didn’t fulfill the whole time that was stipulated.”

“Oh my god, really?” Trixie looked up with bright eyes, hopeful with the chance to get away from all those feelings.

“Yes, honey. You don’t need to put yourself through this more than the necessary. You’re gonna be okay” Kim hugged her and caressed her hair.

“Thank you” Trixie whispered to Kim’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for being a bitch. Thank you for being my friend.”

Kim was happy to finally hear such a nice thing from Trixie, but the sadness and loneliness in her voice made her heart ache a little more.

–

With the big exhibition coming soon, everyone at the studio were stressed, but Katya was especially freaked out. She was chain smoking and double checking everything all day long. Her pieces were almost ready, but every time she walked out of her atelier, Trixie saw her fists clenched and her lips whispering “it’s not good, it’s not good enough”. The younger blonde tried to hold it together a little harder after her conversation with Kim. But she couldn’t help her stomach from turning when she arrived early again, her dance practice bag still on her shoulder, and caught Katya in tears in her office.

She froze at the door while Katya starred at her with wide eyes, black streaks of smudged eyeliner and mascara maculating her beautiful face. “I’m sorry, I can come back later” she meant to turn away, but the grayish blue eyes wouldn’t let her.

“No” Katya said in a strangled voice, “stay”. She ran her bony fingers under her eyes, wiping a few tears. Trixie closed the door behind her and stepped closer to the other woman.

“What’s wrong?”

Katya’s lips automatically formed a tentative smile, but her eyebrows arched together in contradiction. “This fucking piece isn’t ready. I’ve done a million things but it never seems ready” she looked to ceiling and shook her head.

“What’s missing?” Trixie tried to keep her voice soft.

“I don’t know” the desperation grew and Katya threw her hands up. “It’s all there, where it’s supposed to be, but…” She exhaled and looked at the assistant again.

“Well, it sounds ready” she said carefully, a bold idea appearing in her mind. “Can I see it?”

“What?” Katya looked shocked.

“I could take a look and give you my thoughts. You know, from a viewer’s perspective.”

Katya thought for few seconds, looking around aimlessly and biting her lip. She finally breathed deeply and looked back up “Yeah, okay. Let’s do this”.

–

When she opened the atelier’s door, it was all dark, except for a laptop screen on the floor. The two stepped in and Katya closed the door. “So, this is about shape and movement, okay? Just to give some context” she said and walked to the laptop, typing on a few keys. “Look up.”

When Trixie did, her mouth opened without her consent. All the little light bulbs were placed on top of the wire branches that rose from the floor, a weird structure in the middle being hit by their lights. On the ceiling, she saw a silhouette made of shadows appear, a girl surrounded by light. Then some of the lights slowly started to turn off and others on, and the girl on the ceiling started to dance. She twirled and her arms moved around her, the hint of a long hair following her as she did so. Trixie watched for two minutes in silence, her hands clutching her chest. “So?” Katya’s voice sounded in the dark, suddenly scaring her out of her amazement.

“It’s beautiful” she said softly. “It’s beautiful, Katya. Why would you say it’s not ready?”

In the dim light, she saw Katya’s bright teeth appear under a smile. “Uhm… I think there’s something… not right with the movement. I’m not sure.”

Trixie looked back up and another idea popped into her head. She gathered her courage and looked down at the older woman. “Can I show you something?” Katya nodded with confused eyes. “Okay, wait here.”

The blonde girl went out of the room and a few minutes later she came back, a muffled knock knock on the floor accompanying her steps. “Can I get some light?”

Katya looked around and found a tall lamp, flicking it on and pointing the bright spotlight at the girl. And then she noticed, at her feet, the beat up pointe shoes.

“I’ve been practicing a lot, but I’m still struggling, so please don’t judge” Trixie said with a shy smile. She watched the dancing shadow one more time and got up on her pointes, trying her best to mimic the moves she saw.

Katya thought she looked like a mermaid underwater. Her legs moved with precision, the muscles on her thick thighs showing through her light pink tights. Her arms fluttered like butterfly wings all the way up, Trixie’s eyes following her hands, making her a picture perfect ballerina with her chin up and sky blue eyes reflecting the light. “I think” her voice broke the fourth wall of what Katya was watching like a movie, “this movement” she moved her arms down in a big arch in slow motion, “needs to be slower”. She got down from the pointes, finishing with a plié.

When she looked at Katya sitting on the floor, she was baffled. Without a word, she proceeded to clap, causing Trixie to laugh and bow like a proper ballerina. And there it was again, that feeling. Katya’s appreciation made her feel like a true artist, her applause sounding like a whole theater. She blushed, thankful to the weird lighting to cover it up. Trixie didn’t want to miss this feeling anymore. She belonged in that spotlight – Katya’s spotlight. So she was gonna fight for that starring role.

She stepped closer to Katya and knelt before her, her face only inches higher from the other’s. “It’s ready” she swallowed, her eyes wandering around the artist’s face, from her icy eyes, to her stained sharp cheekbones, to her lips, red and swollen from being bitten on so much, and back up to her eyes. “It’s all ready.”

And she killed the space between them with her pink lips to the red ones.