#uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh if you see this plz help

[v3d1ka-5u6h3d4r]

oh god. i'm rambling. jesus.

does anyone else just like bawl their eyes out on 'momentous' occasions?

like new years, christmas, birthday, graduations, etc?

i don't really know why

but i do.

that's a lie- i know why

i feel like sometimes i just look at myself and it's like you haven't changed at all

it's like i'm still the loud, annoying girl that people just don't like no matter what i do

its like i had a part of my life when where people actually liked me (whether it be romantic or not) but now i'm just no where

and i think that every birthday it's like "oh well you're a year older now but it's not like you've done anything special or changed"

but i know that's not true.

because while yes, i may not have done anything super big, i still work hard and focus on things that i enjoy

or like on new years and it's "oh well one year and you're still stupid"

but i'm not.

2023 me was fun for sure, but this year i just focus so much that i lose myself, and a lot of friends too which makes me feel bad.

i guess

(and this is going to sound horrible i know it, i'm 100% going to sound like a pick me or wtv, i'm so genuinely sorry, i just needed to get this off my chest bcs i don't really think i can talk to anyone anymore even though my friends are great)

i guess i'm just tired

i mean a good majority of my friends are fantastic and wonderful human beings and they're all getting into romantic relationships blah blah

and i'm just the girl who like becomes so close to people that they tell me who they like, and obviously- i help because they're amazing and i want them to be happy

or it's like in a class that i take

i'm a fine and dandy student (i think) but it's always going to be one of my friends who outshines me in something and becomes the favorite

i'm just wondering, when's my chance?

like i'm a good person- i swear-

i focus in school, get good grades (pov: u have asian parents), i do extracurriculars that i'm relatively good at, and i like to think i have a somewhat decent personality

i know that you can't compare/measure yourself to someone else but like

i think i'm a solid person

so when's my chance gonna come?

anyways if you read this far you are a real one (genuinely doubt anyone will but)

but yeah, opinions??