#uhhhhh my dog a new dog i had him 2 days and he jumped off a 5 story parking garage. hes alive btw.

[apocalympdicks]

my life feels like a fake story sometimes and idk what that means

[eeyore101247]

Boundaries

Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Even single men have boundaries that should be respected.

Warnings: Uhhhhh, angst? Maybe? I don’t know >~< but there is fluff.

2,916 words

Masterlist

"I'm Hannah James with the Hook and I'm here with Tom Holland, the brand new Spiderman boy..."

You grumbled to yourself as you laid on your bed with your laptop , watching the interview again for the millionth time. You weren't sure why you kept watching it, it only angered you every time you did. How blatantly she was flirting with your boyfriend. You continued to watch the video, quietly seething and glaring at the blonde chick. 

You and Tom had decided to keep your relationship out of the media for the past year and a half, but it was getting harder everyday to keep it a secret. Especially when you had to sit here and watch these women flirt with him during press interviews for his movies. You always wanted to go with him to his premiers as his date, but you were fine with his family going with him. They were his largest supporters after all. 

You continued watching the interview as Tessa jumped up on the bed beside you, turning her attention out the window. You looked over at her and smiled, watching as she stared out the window at the squirrels on the nearby tree. "You watching the squirrels, Tess?" You said with a giggle, gently scratching her behind the ear. She looked at you briefly before going back to staring out the window. You let out another giggle before turning back to your laptop screen to continue your glaring. God, you hated her. You had decided she was the worst one yet. Especially since she's in the same country as you. Many of the others were in other countries, but this Hannah girl was here in the UK. 

With a groan, you shut your laptop, unable to watch another minute of her flirting with Tom. You ran your fingers through your (H/C) hair as you sat up. You weren't completely dressed, having been sprawled out in a sports bra and a pair of Tom's sweatpants. You didn't really mind walking around the house like this though. Not many could see into the apartment anyways. You gave Tessa kisses on the top of her head before getting up off the bed and heading to the kitchen for something to drink. You could hear Tessa's claws on the hardwood floor behind you as she followed you into the kitchen.

Tom was still gone on the press tour, leaving you alone in the apartment you two shared with Tessa. You weren't sure when he was going to be home, as they kept adding new locations at the last minute. You didn't mind, though. He was promoting something he loved and that made him happy, even if you missed him terribly. 

You pulled your phone out of your pocket to check the time. It was currently 2:30 in the afternoon, which meant he was probably busy or sleeping. You decided to send him a text anyways. Something for him to see when he gets up or has a free minute. You smiled as you typed a simple 'I love you' text and sent it, slipping your phone back in your pocket before opening the fridge and pulling out the orange juice. 

Tessa stood beside you, watching your every move. You giggled as you looked down at her, moving over to the counter that held her dog treats and pulling out one for her to chew on. She happily took it and ran over to her bed, laying down as she chewed on the treat you gave her. You smiled as you pulled a glass out of the cabinet, unfazed as your phone vibrated in your pocket. It was probably Sam or Harry seeing if you wanted to go out to a bar or something that night. 

As you poured orange juice into the glass you got, you felt your phone start vibrating more, indicating that you were getting a call. You pulled your phone out, not even bothering to check who was calling before answering.

"Hello?" You asked as you put your phone to your ear, taking a sip of your orange juice and watching Tessa happily munch on her treat.

"You know I'm Facetiming you, right love?" You heard Tom chuckle on the other end, causing your cheeks to burn as you pulled your phone away and held it in front of your face.

"In my defense, I wasn't exactly expecting a call from you." You said with a grin, taking another sip of your juice. You saw Tessa perk as she heard Tom's voice, looking over at you with her tail wagging. You watched as he chuckled again with that lopsided grin you loved so much. 

"I wanted to see how my favorite girls were doing. I haven't gotten to see your faces in ages!" 

"Tom, you facetimed me a few days ago." You said as you rolled your eyes, looking back at your phone to see the feigned hurt on his face.

"You wound me, darling." He said with a pout. It slowly turned into a smile as you could hear the sound of an elevator arriving at a floor and the doors opening.

"Where are you today?" You asked as you grabbed your juice and headed for the couch, sitting down. Tessa quickly joined you on the couch, laying across your lap. You flipped your camera around to show Tom how adorable Tessa was being, to which his smile grew larger. He didn't answer your question though, his smile soon turning into a smirk. You raised a brow as you flipped the camera back on yourself. "Tom?" You asked, watching him.

"Sorry, I was admiring you and Tess. What did you ask?" He said, that smirk still plastered on his face.

"You know perfectly well what I asked, Thomas." You said as you narrowed your eyes at him. You watched as he laughed, fiddling with something that was out of frame. Seconds later, you heard the door to the apartment open, causing you to turn around and see who it was. Tom's mom, Nikki, had a habit of stopping by the apartment when Tom was gone to check on you, and she often let herself in with the spare key she had. However, it wasn't Nikki that was standing in the doorway, but Tom.

Tessa immediately jumped off your lap, running over to Tom with her tail wagging. You dropped your phone, watching as he crouched down to return Tessa's affection. You took a few seconds to process what was going on before finally getting up off the couch and making your way over to your boyfriend, hugging him tightly when he straightened up.

"Hello darling." He said softly as he nuzzled into your neck, a large smile on his lips. You buried your face against his neck, taking in the scent of his cologne. You let out a soft laugh that was followed by a sob. You were so incredibly happy to see and touch him again. He squeezed you gently before pulling back and wiping away your tears.

"You're such a jackass." You muttered, unable to stop smiling as you looked up at him. He chuckled as he cupped your cheeks, smiling back at you.

"You love me." He said softly, leaning in and pressing his lips against yours. The kiss was sweet and slow, his lips molding to yours. It didn't last long as Tessa tried to get between you, wanting more attention from Tom. You giggled as you pulled away, looking down at the Staffie who was currently jumping up on you two.

"You should probably give your princess some attention before she gets cranky." You giggled, giving him a quick peck before making your way back over to the couch and sitting back down. 

"And what if I want to give my Queen some attention?" Tom countered, standing behind the couch and kissing the top of your head. You leaned your head back to look at him, smiling.

"Your Queen can wait until Tess has calmed down some from your return home." You said softly, smiling as he kissed you with a soft chuckle. "Her leash is over by the door. Go take her on a walk in the park." You watched as Tom frowned down at you.

"But I want to spend time with you." He whined, pouting. You couldn't deny that he looked absolutely adorable when he pouted, but you also knew that until Tessa got all her energy out, it would be near impossible for you and Tom to cuddle and spend some time together. 

"And you know that'll be near impossible with how much energy Tessa has when you come home from travelling." You reasoned, giving him a stern look. He whined in protest, but you just shook your head. "Go take her on a walk, Tommy." He pouted as he gave in, moving over to the door of the apartment and grabbing her leash. He clipped it on her collar before heading out to take her on a walk.

"Love you!" You hollered, smiling as he said it back before shutting the door behind him. You downed the rest of your orange juice before getting up and heading to the bedroom, deciding you'd wait for his return there. 

You flopped down on the bed after grabbing a shirt and slipping it on, opening your laptop back up. The interview you had been watching resumed playing, which you swiftly stopped by closing the window. You didn't want to spoil your good mood, but it was already too late as you started thinking about that blonde chick again. You understood being unable to resist how handsome and charming Tom was, but there was such things as boundaries and being respectful. 

You sighed as you reopened Youtube, an interview you had yet to see showing up on your front page. It must have been recently posted. You smiled as you saw what the thumbnail was. An adorable photo of Tom laughing at something. You clicked on the video, thinking it would be an innocent interview. You were sorely mistaken.

The video opened with a woman in a tight crop top that showed off way too much cleavage for your comfort. She was also wearing a super short pair of shorts. You could tell Tom was slightly uncomfortable as he sat down, shifting in his seat. The interview started off with the innocent questions about the movie and the filming process. Though, the entire time, she was sitting with her arms pressing her boobs together, making them look bigger. You couldn't stop the growl that escaped as you continued to watch, the questions starting to turn from the movie to other things. You shut it off at that point, not wanting to even bother finishing the interview. You already knew what she was going to ask about. She was going to ask about his relationship status and if him and Zendaya are an item and when he would respond with no, that he's single, she would up the flirting.

You slammed your laptop shut, no longer interested in watching anything. You moved it off the bed, laying down on your back and staring up at the ceiling with a huff. You didn't get why some woman didn't have any respect for boundaries. You would have never done something like that upon first meeting Tom. In fact, you did the opposite. You were quiet and didn't really say much. He had been the one to approach you and ask for your number. If he hadn't done that, you wouldn't be dating the most amazing man ever right now.

You closed your eyes as you let out a sigh, trying to focus on other things and failing. You were getting tired of watching all these women flirting with your boyfriend. You understood why he wanted to keep your relationship a secret, wanting to keep the hate and attention off of you so you could live a semi normal life. You didn't think you could keep it a secret much longer though. 

You hadn't realized you had dozed off until you felt the bed dip beside you, followed by a strong arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you close. You gave a happy hum, nuzzling into his chest.

"Welcome back Tommy." You said softly, opening your eyes and looking up at him. Tom smiled as he looked back at you before placing a kiss on your forehead. "How was the walk?" You asked softly, placing your hand on his chest and rubbing circles through the fabric of his shirt.

"Tessa loved it." He said with a smile, gently running his fingers through your hair. "It was a beautiful day at the park as well. I wish you had come with." 

"She needed time alone with her dad." You said softly, leaning up and rubbing your nose against his. He chuckled softly as he returned the gesture, his smile growing larger. Your own smile faded though as you remembered what you had been thinking about before dozing off. This didn't go unnoticed by Tom.

"Hey, is everything alright darling?" He asked, tucking some loose hair behind your ear. You shook your head as you sighed, scooting closer and resting your head on his chest. "What's wrong?"

"I just... I'm tired of watching all these women flirt with you at these interviews." You said softly, watching your hand as you continued drawing circles. "I know you want to keep our relationship a secret to protect me, but honestly, I'm tired of watching women trying to get into your pants. Fuck what the media and hateful fans will have to say about me. As long as I can put women in their place that overstep their boundaries, I'll be happy." You sighed, snuggling closer into his side. You felt as Tom continued to run his fingers through your hair, listening to his heartbeat as you waited for him to say something.

"Are you sure you'll be fine with all the attention?" He asked quietly, placing his hand under your chin and making you look up at him. You gave a small nod in response, staring into his amber brown eyes. He gave you a small smile as he pulled out his phone and opened Instagram. "Ready to let the world know?" He asked, you giving another nod in response. 

"As long as I'm with you, I'll always be ready." You said softly, smiling as you snuggled in closer to his side, looking at the camera as he took a picture of the two of you. You quietly watched as he edited the photo and added a caption, tagging your Instagram before posting it. You felt a weight lift off your chest now that your relationship was public. You'd be able to go out and do things as a normal couple. You'd be able to travel with him and be seen with him in public. You felt your phone starting to blow up in your pocket, but you pulled it out and just put it on silent.

"Now that that's done, I believe we have some missed time to make up for." You said with a giggle as you shifted, crawling up so your face was inches from his. He grinned back at you with that smile you loved, pushing you on your back and rolling on top. You snaked your arms around his neck, playing with the small hairs at the back of his neck. You felt his warm breath wash over you as he moved closer, his lips brushing against yours. 

"I love you so much, darling." He muttered softly against your lips, a smile on his face. You hummed happily in response, pulling him into a passionate kiss. Your lips moved in sync with his, moaning softly as he nipped at your lower lip. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you deepened the kiss, drawing his tongue into your mouth. As you two fought for dominance, you slowly moved your hands from around his neck down across his chest and under his shirt. He groaned softly, pressing you into the mattress as your hands explored his toned torso. "I love you too." You said softly as your lips separated from his. Panting softly, you pulled his shirt up over his head, tossing it aside once it was off. He hummed softly against your skin as he trailed his lips across your jaw and neck, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin. You let out a soft moan, running your fingers through his soft, curly hair while your other hand gently cupped the back of his neck. 

"I missed you so much." He whispered against your neck, causing you to squirm beneath him. You felt him groan against your neck as his phone started to ring, causing you to frown as he pulled away.

You let him go so he could pick up his phone, laying down next to you on the bed as he answered it. You were a little upset that your fun had been interrupted, but you were perfectly content with snuggling into his side. You rest your head on his chest as he talked to the other person on the other end of the line, rubbing circles on his bare chest, admiring just how sexy your boyfriend is. You smiled as you felt his fingers comb through your hair, a happy sigh escaping as your eyes fluttered closed and you drifted off to sleep.

AN: Number 4!

Should I start including the summaries?

Thanks for reading!

~ LoLo *^-^*

Want to be added to my tag list?

Send me any questions or what you thought!

[theodej]

uhhhhh chapter 2 is up, come meet makwa

i’ll put it under the cut again, but after this i’ll probably just post them to ao3 ✌️ i’ll still link em here tho

The Wet Hen pub was overflowing with families and laughter that night. It was the kind of noise that shoved its way into every nook and cranny, bouncing off walls and seeping into the laminate.

It was someone’s birthday. (It was always someone’s birthday.) The girls were being corralled just behind the kitchen doors. Like every chain, they had their own butchered version of “Happy Birthday,” torn apart and glued back together with some particularly imperfect rhymes.

As was tradition, Makwa was hiding in the bathrooms. She’d shut herself in one of the stalls and sat on the toilet’s tank, resting her knee. It hadn’t been the same since she messed it up during soccer practice in high school. Hill didn’t like her wearing her brace to work. Of course, she never said a word about it; she couldn’t, unless she wanted HR up her ass. But she always treated Makwa differently when she wore it.

She didn’t trust the seats enough to actually sit on them, especially when it was her turn to clean. She flicked through her phone, waiting. It wasn’t long before the girls started singing and, muffled or not, someone smarter than her could probably pick out the dozen or so different keys they switched between. Whether you wanted to or not, you could hear the Wet Hen girls “singing” from the outskirts of town. It was the one thing they didn’t fake.

When the restroom door opened, Makwa held her breath. Footsteps shuffled on the tile—they didn’t sound like heels, boots maybe?—and stopped at the sinks. The taps were turned on, and the rush of water just barely covered the person’s sniffling. They muttered to themselves, tone hush but fervent, before shutting the water off. For a moment, all she heard was clapping and laughter from the restaurant proper. Then there was a soft sigh and, finally, they left. Makwa knew she should do the same, although there wasn’t any use in keeping up appearances anymore; Hill had definitely noticed her repeated absences during “birthday roundups.” One more minute of peace couldn’t hurt.

Hill wasn’t waiting outside the bathroom door for her, surprisingly.

“…the same guy as last time.”

“And you passed him off to someone else last time, too.”

But she was close, and she was using that even, soft tone of hers. That tone meant trouble, and trouble meant Makwa should keep walking.

“He’s creepy! And he’s, like, twice my age.”

Hill had pulled the youngest waitress aside to have one of her not-so-private discussions. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. You can’t pick and choose your tables. If I let you switch now, would that be fair to everyone else?”

The girl bit her lip. She was clearly ready to back off. Hill saw it, too, judging by the sickly sweet smile on her face.

Just go already.

“You know the rules, Grace. You signed off on them.”

“I’ll take it,” Makwa said.

Stupid.

Hill turned to her, the smile melting off her face like wax. “Where have you been?”

“Just give me the table. I’m not doing anything right now, anyway.”

Grace’s shoulders relaxed instantly. “Are you sure?”

“Which table?”

“Twelve.”

Makwa nodded quickly before moving away, avoiding Hill’s eyes even as they burned a hole in her back. She gave herself a quick moment to scan the restaurant through the backroom door’s little window—a few new faces since she’d ducked away, all families—and headed back into the fray.

The Wet Hen’s décor could be best described as… overstimulating, at best. Imagine the tackiest southern belle you can think of. Now imagine her meemaw’s life exploding onto barn walls in a shower of sweet tea, cow skulls and ten-gallon hats. The paneled walls were covered in yellowed photographs and replica guns. There was even a tractor jutting out of one wall, as if someone was that desperate to get their hands on some over-sauced wings. It was a clusterfuck of colours and smells, and yet it was packed every Friday night.

“What dressing would you like with that?”

Makwa had found the table without any trouble. The man in question brought his wife and kid in, too, and despite his audience, it was immediately clear why Grace had made such a fuss.

“Balsamic, please.”

She felt his eyes on her.

She turned to the kid next. “And yourself?”

Makwa was painfully aware of the pub’s sorry excuse for a uniform—flannel and jean shorts.

“He’ll just have the chicken fingers.”

Makwa and her big mouth. She shouldn’t have cared.

“All right…”

She’d deliberately left him for last. Makwa didn’t ask him what he wanted, simply made eye contact (even if it made her spine crawl) and waited.

“Steak. Rare.”

Why did she always do this?

“And for a side?” She stared down at her notepad, moving slow, as if “steak” was taking all of her mental faculties to spell.

“What happened to the other girl?” He was smiling now. “She took our drink order!”

“I’ll get them. Your side?”

“Hey, I’m not complaining. Maybe I’ll like you better,” he chuckled.

Makwa was still writing, waiting, and could his wife not see the look on his face? Or was she trying to ignore it, too?

“Just fries is fine.”

Finally. “Is that all?”

The moment his wife started nodding, Makwa was off. She felt eyes on her the whole way, and didn’t stop until she was safe in the backroom. Grace was there, looking for all the world like a scolded dog, a tray of drinks held in her shaking hands. Makwa only glanced at her before stopping at one of the countertops. The order was crumpled in her hands. She’d have to write a new ticket.

She cast quick glances over her shoulder as the girl approached. “You- you didn’t need to do that, you know. I mean, thanks, but you… I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to.”

“It’s fine.” The kid looked so relieved, and that made her look even younger. Makwa swore she must’ve lied about her age to get hired, but Hill probably didn’t care either way.

Grace was peering over her shoulder at the crumpled note.

… garden, balsamic kids tenders steakkk fuckk fuck you ff fries

“Did he, uh… do anything?”

Makwa shoved the paper into her pocket. “It was fine.” She hung the new ticket up with the rest, skin itching as Grace followed her. “Really. Don’t worry about it.”

Grace just stared. “Ms. Hill said–”

“Don’t worry about her. We’ve got your back here.”

The girl’s smile almost made this whole ordeal worth it. “Oh! Right, these are, um…” She looked down at the drinks, and Makwa took them without a word.

The man was smiling at her return, his eyes focused nowhere near her face.

Almost.

The last hours of her shift flew by. The creep’s family had finished eating a while ago, but Hill wouldn’t call it loitering yet. They were talking money, which meant their kid had resorted to running toy cars off any ramp-shaped surface in the restaurant, apparently hellbent on getting in everyone’s way.

The man had just ordered his fifth beer—the light ones, but what was the point if he drank so many?—and the inappropriate comments were only increasing. His wife gave her sympathetic looks, but didn’t acknowledge it otherwise. Makwa was starting to hate them both equally. When she trudged back, drink in tow, the kid was nowhere to be seen. He was someone else’s problem for now.

She had her eyes fixed on the table as she walked, counting the minutes till her shift ended—when her legs flew out from under her. Makwa landed flat on her ass, a shrill crash sounding behind her. Her knee ached. A few people came forward as she slowly registered the beer soaking through her shorts and the toy car rolling away from her.

That fucking kid.

“You okay?” The man stooped in front of her, reaching out with one hand.

There was a screech. Makwa scooted back, eyes fixed on him. His fingers only brushed her shoulder, but it felt like a burn. That heat shot to her hands next, and it took her a second to realize she was leaning on broken glass.

A modest crowd had gathered by then. Makwa shot upright despite the pain, took one second to check her knee—nothing out of place—and darted past them. There was a first aid kid in the back. Not that it did her much good. She fumbled with the latch, hissing. It kept slipping between her bloody fingers.

Someone was behind her.

She jumped back to see Grace, who took it as an invitation to open the kit herself. Makwa gave up and slumped against the wall. The pain wasn’t bad, but it was still too much. Hill was nowhere to be seen. Probably apologizing to that fucking asshole.

When Grace reached for her hands, it took everything she had not to pull away. The girl was gentle, but the contact couldn’t end soon enough. Makwa kept her eyes shut.

“We’ve got each other’s backs, remember?” Grace said quietly.

Back on the floor, one server had drawn the short straw and was sweeping up the glass with a hand broom. There wasn’t a lot of blood, but what was there looked so bright against the laminate. The brush bristles left red tracks behind them, drawing hypnotizing patterns with every movement.

“Um… Can I get you anything else?”

He hadn’t realized he was staring. He chuckled. “Nein, thank you,” he said, turning back towards the bartender. “Just the bill is fine.” He gave her a bright smile, and she nodded, returning it nervously as she looked at the scene behind him. Cute.

By the time he turned back, the unlucky server had switched to a mop. It wasn’t long before the mess was cleaned and sterilized, as if nothing ever happened. Soon, the manager dragged the waitress back out. Poor thing. She was apologizing, but didn’t look too happy about it. Her fingers picked at the bandaids covering her hands.

What a lucky day he’d picked to come! It wasn’t his favourite place to drink; the usual crowd wasn’t really his type. But he never turned his nose up at dinner and a show.

[hypnoidvoid]

Key to the Jungle (Reddie AU): Chapter 2

A/N: I’m so fucking stoked with the amount of attention I’ve received for this fic, just after one chapter. I love you guys. In the chapter notes there are visual aids! 

Summary: Ecologist!Richie and Nature Photographer!Eddie. Eccentric Dr. Richard Tozier has graduated with his Ph.D in Ecology and was given grant money to conduct his own research in the Amazon basin. He gets a research team, one of them being the very talented nature photographer Eddie Kaspbrak of National Geographic. They could not have predicted the beauty and chaos of the adventures that will ensue.

Pairings: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak,  Stan Uris x Bill Denbrough

Word Count: 4,334 words

Warnings: Fuck is said a lot ahahaha

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4

// Link to Read on Ao3 //

[Chapter 2: Mimosas]

[Monday, February 24, 2018]

If I looked all over the world,

And there’s every type of girl

But your empty eyes, seem to pass me by

Leave me dancin’ with myself!

So let’s sink another drink

‘Cause it’ll give me time to think

If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance

And I’ll be dancin’ with myself!

OH OH dancin’ with myself!

OH OH dancin’ with myself!

Billy Idol’s “Dancing with Myself” could be heard blasting at a deafening volume from the 14th story of Eddie Kaspbrak’s apartment flat, with an even louder Eddie straining his voice to sing along. The twenty-two year old was frolicking, strutting, and gyrating with fervor around his entire creative space. With a whisk in hand as a microphone, purple glitter boa constricting his neck and black heart-shaped sunglasses sitting on the edge of his nose, Eddie was indeed dancing with himself and indulging in every single second of it. His oversized baseball jersey swayed with him with every motion, completing his bold fashion statement. Highly acclaimed and respected nature photographer Edward Kaspbrak, that could capture awe-inspiring emotion through his photography, was a giggling mess of euphoria at the moment.

And he was a drunken, hot mess; a vibrant hurricane of soft masculine energy that sent shockwaves through his walls, reverberating towards the city beyond. He leaped to place himself dead center of his trifold mirror,

“WheLLLLL Eddee Eddee, aren’t yew lookin’ finE tooday…” he trailed off, while esteeming in his reflection. He did a 360° spin and gave himself a playful *SMACK* on his ass, followed by an open-mouthed wink.

Eddie had jubilantly slammed 8 mimosas by 9:36 AM on a Monday. He had the day off from work, and it was the last day he would be spending in New York City for a few months. Bags were packed, all his necessary paperwork was completed, logistics and timings for flights were solidified, so Eddie had a rare day of freedom from the usual weighted obligations. The preceding night he inquired at his work desk (which was smothered in vintage polaroid photos), composing a list of some of his favorite things he wanted to do on his day off. In order of importance, he wrote his agenda:

Mimosa(s) and French toast for breakfast

Reading a romance novel in Central Park

Go to a baseball game

Work on Silver

Stargaze from balcony

_____________________________________

Eddie Kaspbrak grew up in New York City, being constantly surrounded by the ubiquitous metal structures that surpassed the sky itself. The love he had for this city penetrated deep into who grew into as a person, with the mayhem of the city entwining itself into Eddie’s own being. He loved to be out late at night swimming in the crowds of people at unique bars, riding his motorcycle across the city bridge, and searching for moments worth immortalizing through photography.

As a teen he would participate in the local baseball league (and well into highschool), hiding it from his mother the entire time. He was even quite talented at the sport. How he wished he could have shared this part of his life with his mother, but he decided to hide many aspects of his life to avoid the scrutiny of Sonia Kaspbrak.

Eddie Bear, you’re so fragile! A boy like you does not belong in sports! Please, I don’t want you to to get injured, that would break my heart, she would wail. She would cry out even if it was as simple as attempting to learn to ride a bike. Nothing particularly life threatening.

See, Eddie once had an overwhelmingly overbearing mother, who treated him more as a crystal vase than like a child; a crystal vase that had a hundred different allergies, sensitivities, and predisposed conditions. The facets of his vase were seemingly faltered, and needing consecutive medical attention through her perspective. The only ailment she had been slightly correct about was his mild asthma, resulting in him keeping an inhaler glued to his side in case of emergency in his camera bag, or fanny pack. And no grown man has ever made a fanny pack look more chik and trending than Eddie Kaspbrak. He rarely used the inhaler, only utilizing it for comfort when an anxiety attack peaked. But he took a liking to the aesthetic and convenience that his fanny pack gave him, and settled on keeping it as his signature accessory.

Eddie had no shame and he needn't have any, because there was none to have. The majority admired his bold attitude, his outward confidence. And he was confident. But the selectively exuberant man had his vulnerabilities, and few would be able to break through that barrier of stubbornness. Not his close friends, not even his mother.  

Sonia kept him on a psychological leash for years, until he was able to consciously acknowledge that there were serious dysfunctions present with the way he was raised. Her gaze had been searing, and unrelentless with insane concern entangled with harsh criticism. Despite Sonia’s flaws Eddie loved his mother, and remained kind to her through her tyrannical dictatorship of his childhood. There was no father figure in his family, and he appreciated the love he was able to receive (even if it was oppressive love).

When she passed, it was an excruciating evening for Eddie. This was a woman that had sacrificed her mental sanity and personal identity to keep him out of harm’s way, even if harm’s way was a blade of grass.

However, when his mother’s presence left this earth, he felt a burdening weight lift off of his shoulders. The sudden realization ignited that he was able to do whatever he wanted, without guilt.

Fucking whatever, he wanted.

He could go bungee jumping. He could go on that road trip to Miami he always wanted to. He could verbalize how much of a snack another man looked in his basketball shorts jogging past his apartment complex without receiving a cold sneer. Fuck, he could walk down the block to buy a street-vendered hot dog without guff. Even with moving outside of his mother’s non-humble abode quickly after entering college, he was contacted incessantly by Sonia. She was exhausting. She left you fragile and wanting to crawl into a hole just thinking about her.

But this.This was a new sensation.

There was no one to order him around. No one to ‘suade him into doing what they wanted out of culpability. He was an individual with a lasso that could wield it around the world and make anything his bitch.

It may have been due to growing up in a concrete jungle and having “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome, but his favorite settings to capture were those devoid of human contact: mountain ranges, open fields, flowing streams, any place that wreaked of natural genuity and untouched innocence. And he loved being able to memorialize beauty without getting his hands filthy. He would cautiously navigate scenery to snap his pictures, then flee to an open space where he could sanitize his hands and feel comfortable enough to revel in the moment. His mother may have passed, but the wounds she left in Eddie’s faux hypochondriac mind remained.

When his supervisors at the National Geographic headquarters in New York offered him the position on a research team heading to the Amazon basin one month ago, Eddie obliged quicker than a strike of lightning:

“Eddie, how do you feel about taking a three month trip to the rainforest in Ecuador?” his manager nonchalantly asked. There was a moment of silence, with a wild-eyed Eddie staring in reverie.

“....whaT?

“You’re a very talented young artist, and we would love for you to document an upcoming research trip that is embarking in late February, conducted by uhhhhh….. Hmmm let me see. Ah, yes! Dr. Richard Tozier. Our magazine is taking a particular interest in this so if you feel inclin-”

“YES”, he abruptly stated, then coughed into his fist sharply to regain a professional character. He rolled his shoulders back to obtain his highest stature that a 5’7” man could, eyeing his boss.

“Yes, I’m in. Sir, you have no idea how much this means to me.” Eddie was failing wildly at keeping his composure from the excitement that arose in his chest.

Richard Tozier? Sounds like an old homophobic goober.

A grin widened on the older man’s face, and he placed a gentle hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “That pleases me to hear Mr. Kaspbrak. I expect quality content when you return. I will make arrangements for your trip tonight, and send details to your email when I have them”. He began to walk away, but slyly turned towards Eddie without making eye contact. “.....they’re lucky to have you, Eddie”. As the man walked in the opposite direction towards his own office, he glanced over his shoulder once more to witness Eddie doing a “happy dance”. And he smiled to himself.

  Over all the sceneries that he’s dreamt of witnessing, Eddie desired to see the purity of the night sky undisturbed with city lights in it’s vast entirety. Basking in light of the stars from thousands of miles away seemed ethereal, and for him in this seemingly small existence, thus seemed surreal. Humankind had interfered amongst planes where they simply did not belong, he knew it. The opportunity to escape to a truly wild ecosystem that had been honored with the freedom to be undisciplined only heightened his wonder.

The night sky held untold mysteries of persistence, of death, rebirth, and explosive uncertainty. Stars danced in the atmosphere and created their own love stories. They encapsulated the interest of so many individuals that they wrote stories about their endeavors, and Eddie gaping from his balcony on the 14th floor of the Wyndham building***, would envision tales of his own. A precept he believed to be truth was that the more time he spent gazing into that infinite space, the higher likelihood he would have of being able to unravel it’s wisdom. Like those spheres of carbon fire, he yearned to create a love story of his own, so he continued to gaze and listen to what the night had to teach him. He would often be found humming to himself, while craning his neck up towards the heavens.

________________________________________

After taking a much needed impromptu nap, around noon Eddie begrudgingly awoke to the sound of “Saved By the Bell” reruns on his television from the futon where he had passed out. And if you haven’t theorized by now, Eddie has a hankering for 1980’s pop culture. He did not even grow up in the 80’s, but felt a close attachment to the art that was produced during the decade. He owned about 3 different models of polaroid cameras, obsessively listened to synth/new wave pop, and would spend hours on the internet ordering the ideal parts for his motorcycle that would make it functional, yet retro. After seeing the 1987 RoboCop film Eddie felt he was destined to own a FXSTC Softail Custom Harley, and when his mother passed, he mustered the confidence to purchase his dream ride.

He would name her Silver. Silver wasn’t even silver in color, but he loved the aura that the name gave off. It was a name of power. Stability. And dependency.

Weakly pressing himself from the couch, he glimpsed menacingly through squinted eyes towards his microwave to see that the time read “12:13 PM”.

“Fucking hell….”.

He stumbled to the bathroom to inhale three IBuprofen tablets and a glass of water he had so graciously left himself a few hours ago. He glanced in the mirror and noticed he had the remnant of a sleep induced boner lingering, so a boiling shower was necessary before he could continue his day of self indulgences; the steamy shower being one in itself.

Well. If I’m going to do this day right I might as well start with a happy beginning at noon.

After his shower, Eddie threw on a pair of perfectly fitted jeans and a yellow polo shirt, covered by a jean jacket that had some adorned patches on it. It was still late winter after all, he didn’t want to freeze while riding his his bike. Scrounging through his bathroom drawers he retrieved some hair mousse and wrestled with his grown out, wavy chestnut hair until it held up to his expectation. He knew the mousse would keep the shape for the short distance he had to ride of his bike, even with the helmet. And before he placed the hated helmet on his locks he reviewed his own constructed mantra in his head:

May the hair not be greasy

The curls not go flat

Not fall for a man who’s sleazy  

Amen

Eddie may not have been the religious type, but he believed in sending his thoughts out into the universe. After all, maybe one day by some greater power his thoughts would be answered.

With his mantra internally spoken, and helmet strapped firmly to his head, Eddie Kaspbrak zoomed off to complete his list of favorite shenanigans to do around New York City.

________________________________________

Richie and Stan decided to share a hotel room at the Crowne Plaza*** close to LAX airport the night before their departure, Stan refusing to take part in the possibility of any delays or inconveniences. He was a poignant adult, unlike Richie, who probably would have been hungover and missed his plane if it weren't for Stan. Since they would be inhabiting the jungle for a few months in the middle of fucking nowhere without the luxuries of home, they splurged on spending their last night in Los Angeles in an above average hotel. The room even came with a mini fridge stock-piled with little bottles of liquor and candy bars.

This here, this is tha’ suppa’ of champions! The only thing missing is a pack of cigs in this damn mini fridge. Now THAT’S a well balanced meal, crossed Richie’s mind.

Both Stan and Richie were resting their heads on their pillows of their separate beds, lightly quarreling as usual:

“ Stanny boy, I am quaking with excitement for tomorr’a. I think we’re really going to make a scientific breakthrough here…...ya know? We’ve talked about this since we were lil’ spermies. It’s always been you and me bud. My liaison of adventure. Stanley Manley”. Richie shifted his head and emitted an elated smile towards Stan.

“Jesus Rich, enough with the bullshit nicknames. How many times have I told you I hate that?  But heck ya, I am just as excited as you are. I’ve never seen a quetzal or a hoatzin in the flesh, and I know how much of a dominant presence they have there. There’s a good chance I’ll be able to see those and more….. shit, maybe even a mot-mot! Remember the list I kept as a kid?”

“Yessir, the famous color coded mess book of beaks. Gunna whack the ones off that you can? Before I left your mom yesterday, she also let me whack off-”

“Richie.”

“Apologies, bird boy.”

Richie slinked off of the bed to to comically make his way towards the mini fridge, imitating the movements of an inchworm. With one eager hand he piled all of the personal sized bottles of liquor into the bottom of his shirt, using it  as a pouch, and dumped them onto Stan’s bed.

“Let’s have a good night, dude. Here’s to the future”, and Richie cracked open a mini bottle of José Cuervo silver to knock it back with the slightest shudder. Stan obliged, and chose a bottle of Jack Daniels to do the same, but without the shudder.

They ended up reminiscing for hours about times they spent together as kids while lounging on Stan’s bed, shrieking with laughter at certain moments of their own stupidity. Their neighbors were not pleased with the amount of noise the two grown men were making at 2 o’clock in the morning.

“Sta-an, do you rembembER the first time I wh-ent bird watchin’ with ya?”, Richie asked.

“You were so fucking annoying, I swore to myself I-I would never take you again. But I guess I’m no good at keeping that promise, huh?” Stan followed with a chuckle, and drained another bottle of whiskey. This memory was a particularly fond one shared by Richie and Stan.

[Wednesday, April 29, 2003]

Stan sat with his legs crossed against a douglas fir tree, peering eagerly above into the deciduous tree forest. His ‘North American Field Guide to Birds’ book rested in his lap, opened to page 455 to reveal a picture and notes about the northern cardinal.  

Class: Aves

Order: Passeriformes

Family: Cardinalidae

Genus: Cardinalis

Species: Cardinalis cardinalis (Linnaeus, 1758)

Normally he would find himself alone to search his surroundings for flying creatures, but today was different. He brought along his best friend Richie for the first time, wanting to share his favorite hobby with his only friend. He hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision.

“Richie, can you PLEASE keep still for like two seconds? I’m trying to see a cardinal, and you’re just going to scare everything away. To be a good bird watcher you need to be still and sil-”

Richie darted to chase away a group of dark-eyed juncos while howling with laughter. On his walk back to Stan he whistled and gently kicked a rock until he was satisfied with where it was placed.

Stan exhaled under his breath a long “Fuuuuuuuuuck”. Richie eventually placed himself next to the other boy, also using the tree as a back rest, and kept quiet after many pleas from Stan. He would twiddle his fingers the whole time, however.

They were silent for probably twenty minutes before a little red bird perched itself on a branch directly in front of them. Richie snapped his neck to his right to look at Stan who had eyes so wide he mustn't of had eyelids. Stan slowly moved his hand to his pocket to retrieve a small pair of binoculars. He would peer into them for a few minutes, and excitedly passed them to Richie.

“Isn’t he awesome?” Stan whispered.

“How do you know it’s a guy?” Richie asked with his voice just as low as Stan’s, while still looking through the binoculars.

“Well, males have a big crest on the top of their head, and they’re vibrantly red. The females are pretty boring looking”, and he pointed his finger at a picture of a drab female cardinal.

“Yeah, he’s actually kind of pretty. Want to look again?” RIchie asked.

Stan snatched the binoculars back and took another long look before the bird chose to fly away in a northern direction.  

“I must be your lucky charm, huh Stanley?!”

“Shut up Richie, you’re the worst”, Stan remarked with an eye-roll but couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He couldn’t wondered if Richie really was a good luck charm. He had placed himself in this exact spot for weeks to see the cardinal but never saw it. He knew very well that seeing this species of bird was rare in Maine, especially during this time of the year, and couldn’t help but look at the rambunctious buck-toothed boy and thank him silently.

_____________________________________

[Tuesday, February 25, 2018]

“RICHIE ARE YOU DONE IN THERE”, Stan shouted as he banged against the bathroom door.

“Hold on princess, I’m just buttering moyself up fo’ ya!”, Richie quickly shot back in a butchered cockney accent. He needed this long shower, in particularly to soothe the mind splitting headache that ravaged his entire body, from last night’s drinking escapades. He combed his fingers through his dark, curly mane and massaged his temples under the scorching water. His eyes were closed, body still, but his thoughts were deafening. As excited as Richie was for these upcoming three months, he was anxious as well. Undeniably Richie had anxiety issues, but was too stubborn to ever go to a professional for a diagnosis. He didn’t ever want to cloud his mind with anxiety relieving drugs, after personally observing the way it had turned his mom into a Prozac induced zombie. And he hated those drugs for effecting his beloved mother like that. He would use classical music instead to soothe his body during anxiety episodes. Richie took a particular liking to Mozart’s compositions.

After Richie stumbled out of the bathroom, Stan went through his morning tasks to prepare himself for the flight to come later that day. He would also face the day sporting knee-high rain boots, as would Richie. Nerves heightened and hangover lingering, they walked to the terminal entrance with their luggage to meet Beverly.

“Professors, it’s so good to see yo-, holy shit you guys look wrecked. I mean, you look put together, but damn. Where was my invite to this party?”

“We would have invited you Bev, but unfortunately we were too fucked up to even exist. Next time, I promise”, Stan replied.

“Ya you goons better, I’m genuinely offended right now” she huffed with an over exaggerated pout. Beverly hated missing out on a fun night, especially involving alcohol with her favorite people.  They boarded their plane, and as expected Stan and Richie slept the entire plane ride into the Quito terminal, until Bev shook them both with angst to wake up. Stan had resisted to sleep with extreme persistence out of a fear of flying, but his body failed him and he drifted into a deep rest. Richie snored for the entirety of the flight, and his snores in concordance with the sounds of the crying child in the seat behind him created a symphony of annoying mayhem for the rest of the travellers on the airplane.

Once off the plane, the trio searched for a man holding a sign that read “Dr. Richard Tozier”, and piled into his taxi. The loading dock for the first boat into the rainforest was located 3 hours out of Quito, so they settled themselves comfortably in the backseat of the taxi, with Stan pulling out his copy of “Ready Player One”, Beverly finally taking a nap after not being able to on the plane, and Richie listening  to Van Halen while resting his head on the window to look out the window. Eddie Van Halen’s guitar solos never ceased to amaze Richie.

Around 5 PM in the evening, the biologists rolled up to the docking port to a group of anticipatory faces that were arranged in a half circle around each other with a decent amount of space in between them. None of these people knew each other after all, and were only about an hour in to being acquainted. Their guide, Mike Hanlon, opened up the back passenger door where Richie was sitting with a welcoming grin plastered to his face.

“Mr. Tozier! I’m honored to be able to finally meet you in person. Do you need help with your luggage?”, he said as he gestured to the trunk.

“Call me Richie, Mike. Mr. Tozier is the man that impregnated my mother”. A shit-eating smile crossed Richie’s features and in the twinkle of his eyes, behind the thick horn-rimmed glasses. With heated cheeks Mike nodded his head, and continued to open the trunk of the taxi to retrieve the luggage of Stan, Beverly, and Richie. With their bags in hand, Stan, Beverly, and Richie headed over the rest of the party awaiting their arrival by the boat dock.

On his short walk over, Richie linked eyes with one of the individuals of his research team. And despite keeping his feet moving in a forward direction, he felt utterly paralyzed. The man was undeniably handsome, was impeccably dressed, and held a captivating stare from hazel eyes. Richie’s lips parted to exhale a nervous breath.

Mike began to zealously introduce Richie’s research team to the new arrivals, as so:

“It is my pleasure to introduce Ben, our medic for the trip. I trust that he’ll keep our asses safe. He’s been to my reserve before too so y’all have nothing to worry about”. Ben raised his chin and smiled bashfully at the group, raising a hand to wave while one hand remained in his pant’s pocket.

Mike looked over sweetly to a man named Bill, and continued with “ This is Bill Denbrough, our botanist. A man with a wild imagination, and intelligence”.

Bill unexpectedly coughed out of surprise, being flattered. “H-h-hi I’m Bill. I’m glad I could c-c-come on this trip”. Stan beheld this man differently than Richie and Bev. He was a tall man with straight auburn hair, and held a confidence that was respectable. Stan had never met this man before, but Bill carried a sense of home with him. Comfort. Stan looked at Bill with a gaze that resembled that of a person who hadn’t seen their best friend in 10 years.

“And this is Eddie Kaspbrak, a renowned nature photographer from National Geographic. A born talent”. Richie and Eddie glued eyes to each other. Electricity singed between these two pairs of eyes. Richie stared at the chocolate waves gliding across Eddie’s forehead, and noticed at a closer view that his left pupil was keyholed.

Woah.

There was a moment of silence and Mike shoved Richie in hopes he would have a response after his brief introductions, “....Richie?”. Richie returned to a state of mild authority and reached out a hand to shake Eddie’s.

“I’m Richie Tozier, pleased to make your acquaintance buttercup”, Richie said while wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously.

Eddie had previously thought that this man was going to be old, boring, and with a stick up his ass just by his name. He hadn’t even bothered to look him up online.

Holy motherfucking shit was he wrong. This man was nearly his age, brilliant, and hot. He hoped he wouldn’t be in trouble with pining for the lead scientist for three months.

“I’m Eddie. Nice to meet you, cherryblossom”.

____________________________________

CHAPTER NOTES:

I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 2! I will be providing visual references in the chapter notes as an addition, because fuck, it’s fun. Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading :) Reblog, comment, send me thoughts as always!

***the Wyndham building is not fictional and is actually located in New York City

How I imagine part of Eddie’s apartment:

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CALEAI_enUS790US790&biw=1366&bih=654&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=tNvGWtugGOGY0gLs9qfgBw&q=new+york+apartment+interior&oq=new+york+apartm&gs_l=psy-ab.3.5.0j0i67k1j0j0i67k1j0l2j0i67k1j0l3.34133.36013.0.39862.15.8.0.7.7.0.116.779.5j3.8.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.15.866....0.sasZGuvXVLk#imgrc=MCgjbHAm5ZWH9M:

Eddie’s motorcycle:

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CALEAI_enUS790US790&biw=1366&bih=654&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=uwrHWoiRLMeQ0wLNnYioBQ&q=FXSTC+softail+red+Harley&oq=FXSTC+softail+red+Harley&gs_l=psy-ab.3...39077.39355.0.39521.3.3.0.0.0.0.95.244.3.3.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.mn9dCDoiZxo#imgrc=7L01cKyX67Cf6M:

***The Crowne Plaza; Richie and Stan’s hotel room:

https://www.google.com/search?q=crowne+plaza+lax&rlz=1CALEAI_enUS790US790&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwicwrSgyqTaAhVT6Z8KHQHiDa0Q_AUICygC&biw=1366&bih=654#imgrc=MXY4GWD9CFRgxM:

Taglist: 

@byersfever @speakslowtellmelove @thetheatregal @creamy-brown-eyes @chairsocks @was-i-even-reddie @addimagination @kaspwitch @guacfinn @skeletonscribbles

[sleepinglightt]

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE 150 QUESTIONS

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?My most recent ex

2. Are you outgoing or shy?I’d say I’m pretty outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?Mainly my dad, 2 more weeks!! I’m super excited

4. Are you easy to get along with?I think so? I talk a lot so I probably get annoying but then again there’s always a conversation so 🤷🏻‍♀️

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I think so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?People with positive energies, cute smiles, and nice hearts

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Who knows man, I’m pretty emotionally damaged though. I have a lot of baggage.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?My dad, I miss him.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Nope.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?Faith

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“It just really grinds my gears”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?-down 4 u by blackbear-gorgeous by mansionz-surprise party by hoodie allen -ivy by frank ocean-dead roses by blackbear (I love blackbear ok I’m sorry his voice just makes me happy and I can relate with the whole people screwing you over aesthetic)

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Uhhh yes

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?I believe in miracles, but I don’t believe in luck bc I think everything happens for a reason

15. What good thing happened this summer?Pride, I learned a lot about myself, and I got to be in a cool show with some cool people

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?No comment next question pls

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?I think there’s gotta be, the universe is just too big dude.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?No, but funny story I literally only thought he was cool bc we bonded over Chris brown and Halloween town and i was in like 1st grade. Honestly my first REAL crush on a girl who was my best friend and I thought she was an angel tbh

19. Do you like bubble baths?Yup, but I have to at least wash off my body before I take a bath bc I don’t like soaking in my own dirt ya feel

20. Do you like your neighbors?I don’t really know them, one of them is this kinda cool old guy though. He picks up twigs and leaves every morning, pretty dope dude if you ask me.

21. What are you bad habits?I get attached to easily, but I also distance myself a lot when people get to close bc I have trust issues. Like whenever anyone gets too close I freak out bc I don’t know how to handle emotions and I always try to break up with them before they hurt me.

22. Where would you like to travel?I wanna go to the red wood forest in Cali and I’d like to go somewhere where there’s a black sand beach bc I think those are pretty cool.

23. Do you have trust issues?I have major trust issues wdym

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Sleeping

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?The fact it doesn’t work properly is kind of a bummer and it pisses me off. Look wise, I’m not too fond of my nose tbh. It’s kinda big and triangular and I used to think I looked like phineas.

26. What do you do when you wake up?On school days I normally try to wait a minute so I can see how much feeling I have in my legs before I stand up. Sometimes I fall over or whatever but it’s cool. On week ends and days I have doctors appointments I sleep in and then I lay in bed for like 30 mins to an hour and do stuff on my phone.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?I don’t really care tbh

28. Who are you most comfortable around?My closest friends

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Yeah

30. Do you ever want to get married?Yup

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?My hair is long enough for like 3 ponytails

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?Ellen page and missy peregrym

33. Spell your name with your chin.Wo fMy name is Alex, but I tried

34. Do you play sports? What sports?I used to play softball and I was in love with it, but then I quit for theatre and music.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?Tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?I normally tell people, but sometimes I don’t

37. What do you say during awkward silences?I normally make a stupid joke

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Uhhhhh next question plS

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?target and thrift stores. Especially value villages, I always find cool stuff at value village.

40. What do you want to do after high school?I’m gonna go to college, I recently have been considering doing pre med and then going to medical school but who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?I think some people do, and I think some people have to prove that they deserve a second chance, but then there are people that don’t deserve even a first chance let alone a second chance.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?I’m either thinking or I’m trying to keep my mouth shut so I don’t say something mean

43. Do you smile at strangers?I always smile when I make eye contact

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Space my dude

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?Sometimes I don’t get out of bed tbh, like today I didn’t get out of bed except to go to the bathroom and to take a shower. Most of the time it’s just bc of school

46. What are you paranoid about?Everything

47. Have you ever been high?Nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?Nope

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Not that I know of

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?It’s rainbow tie dye

51. Ever wished you were someone else?Sometimes, but most of the time I’m happy in my own body

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?I wish I could learn to trust people better and let them in. I tend to isolate myself a lot, even from the people in my house because I’ve been hurt so much that it’s hard to trust people tbh

53. Favourite makeup brand?I really love Anastasia Beverly Hills but I also love tarte and kat von d 🤷🏻‍♀️

54. Favourite store?Target

55. Favourite blog?I have a couple, @thequeerexpoditionist @sapphic-sage @brianniscute and all of the lesbian blogs

56. Favourite colour?Yellow

57. Favourite food? Noodles

58. Last thing you ate?A ho ho bc I’m a ho ho

59. First thing you ate this morning?I had pancakes

60. Ever won a competition? For what?I won some tournaments in softball, does that count?

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope I’m a good noodle

62. Been arrested? For what?Never

63. Ever been in love? Yeah

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?It was in a church parking lot and I bumped teeth with the guy and it was awkward, shortly after I broke up with him for my first girlfriend oops

65. Are you hungry right now?Not really

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I don’t really have a lot of tumblr friends tbh

67. Facebook or Twitter?Twitter bc I love the tea

68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? Briann, faith, and Elizabeth

71. Craving something? What?I’m craving a cuddle buddy bc it’s cold and I just wanna lay on someone’s chest

72. What colour are your towels?They’re multi colored

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?Okay so I’m weird and I have like 5 pillows on my bed but when I go to sleep I don’t use any of them

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Yeah don’t judge me

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Probably like 10-15 but a lot of them are in my closet (just like me)

75. Favourite animal?I really love dogs, they make me happy. I also really love cats though. I LOVE ALL ANIMALS HONESTLY

76. What colour is your underwear?It’s blue

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Swirl ;) just kidding I like vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Vanilla with strawberries in it

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?It’s grey and it has dogs on it

80. What colour pants?I’m wearing black shorts

81. Favourite tv show?The x files, but I’ve recently been watching the good doctor and it’s really good!

82. Favourite movie?Dead poets society orrrr perks of being a wallflower

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Mean girls what kind of question is that

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?I’ve never seen all of 21 jumpstreet so I guess mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Gretchen, I can relate to her anger

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Either the starfish, the puffer fish, or the little squid girl

87. First person you talked to today?Faith

88. Last person you talked to today?So far it’s been Faith

89. Name a person you hate?I don’t talk about him

90. Name a person you love?Briann!

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Not really?

92. In a fight with someone?I don’t think so

93. How many sweatpants do you have?Like 1 pair no joke

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Too many

95. Last movie you watched?THE NEW SAW MOVIE OMG

96. Favourite actress?Ellen page bc I have a crush on her

97. Favourite actor?Zachary Quinto bc I love him and he was great in Star Trek plus heS GAY

98. Do you tan a lot?I don’t tan, ever.

99. Have any pets?I have a dog named gizmo but he doesn’t love me as much as I love him :((

100. How are you feeling?Like crap, same as usual

101. Do you type fast?On my phone? Yes. On my laptop? No.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?I regret a lot of things, but ya gotta learn one way or another 🤷🏻‍♀️

103. Can you spell well?I think so

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?I guess so

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?Yup

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?Unfortunately I think so

107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yeah

108. What should you be doing?I should be writing an essay

109. Is something irritating you right now?Not really

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Yeah

111. Do you have trust issues?Um yeah I already answered this oneeeee

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I don’t even remember I try not to cry in front of people

113. What was your childhood nickname?I used to get called Grace in softball bc I always tripped over my own feet and I’d constantly get hurt lmao

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yup thank god

115. Do you play the Wii?I haven’t played the wii in forever but I bet I’d still kick ass in wii tennis

116. Are you listening to music right now?Nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?I love chicken noodle soup bc I love noodles

118. Do you like Chinese food?Yes yes yes

119. Favourite book?Right now it’s probably diary of an oxygen thief, but looking for Alaska is still my all time fav

120. Are you afraid of the dark?Kinda I get The Spooks™

121. Are you mean?Sometimes I can be really mean, most of the time it isn’t intentional and I feel bad but sometimes it’s well deserved

122. Is cheating ever okay?Nope

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?Probably not, I don’t own a pair of white shoes though

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Nah

125. Do you believe in true love?Yeah

126. Are you currently bored?Not really

127. What makes you happy?Coffee, genuine hugs, dogs, hiking, the way the sun feels on a chilly day, good grades, sleeping, ya know the usual stuff

128. Would you change your name?I used to hate my name, but now I think it’s pretty cool

129. What your zodiac sign?I’m a Gemini with a rising Scorpio

130. Do you like subway?Not really

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Next question

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Faith

133. Favourite lyrics right now?“And you give good head, make daddy real proud of you” bc the way blackbear says it is really cool and I wish someone would give me good head and call me daddy

134. Can you count to one million?Probably not lmao

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?I’ve told a lot of dumb lies I think it’s a pretty human thing to do

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?I have to sleep with them open and I hate it bc I get really paranoid

137. How tall are you?I’m 5’6

138. Curly or Straight hair?I have straight hair but I think curly hair is really pretty

139. Brunette or Blonde?I have a thing for brunettes

140. Summer or Winter?Winter

141. Night or Day?I feel inclined to say night, but I like doing things during the day so idk

142. Favourite month?Used to be December but someone had to fuck it up for me so idk

143. Are you a vegetarian?No, I’m trying to be though

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?All chocolate, I don’t discriminate against chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee?Coffee, but I really love sweet iced tea

146. Was today a good day?Not really

147. Mars or Snickers?Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?“We’re all homos” - michael Scott

149. Do you believe in ghosts?Kinda yeah

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “But thanks to AA I had signed a new lease of life and I was determined to use it” -diary of an oxygen thief

[hornsbeforehalos]

Anytime, Sweetheart: Part 2

Pairing: JDM x OFC (RPF)

Features: Ackles & Padalecki Families, R2, Misha Collins & Vicky Vantoch, Norman Reedus, Andrew Lincoln, Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster, Ruth Connell, Corey Taylor and other cast members & OFCs* *THIS IS AN RPF FIC**

Series Masterlist Summary: (I’m horrible at summaries, but let me try): Kylin Ackles runs to her brother’s house after leaving her abusive boyfriend of 3 years, where she meets Jeffrey. Events unfold that bring them together, as well as push them apart.  Warnings: Emotional abuse, Physical Violence, mentions of rape, cursing, drinking, recreational drug use (weed), Strip Club, RPF, NSFW**, GIFs, implied smut, Age Difference, Slow burn, Emotional rollercoaster, poorly written smutt, etc… 18+ please

(A/N: This is strictly a work of fiction that I came up with off the top of my head. For fictional purposes his S/O & Son are not mentioned. I love him and his little family, though, so no hate intended. This is the first time posting anything on Tumblr, but I couldn’t get it out of my head since my ao3 fic is currently on hiatus because writers block. Feedback is appreciated. unbetaed, all mistakes are mine.)

TAGS: @jml509

   The next morning, I was woken up by my screaming niece jumping on top of me over and over again. 

     "Birrrrrdieeeee, why do you hate me?" I groaned while I pulled her into my chest for a hug, turning over to my side on the couch with her in my arms. "Aunt KyKy! Wake up!" She squealed.    "Shhhh, child, let's go back to sleep." I squeezed her close, burying my face into her hair as she continued to protest against me. "You stink!" She squeaked again, scrunching her nose.    "No, you stink!" I protested, rolling over to the other side, with my back against the couch. "No!" She screeched again.    I promptly shoved her off of the couch and onto the floor. She landed with an "oof," followed by a shrill giggle that made me wince.     "Go find your mother, child," I instructed as I threw my legs over the side of the couch to stand up.     I made my way towards the bathroom with one hand pressed against the back of my head and the other against the bridge of my nose to suppress the throbbing that had been induced by Justice's high pitched squeal. I could feel the oil seeping from my pores and when I brought my hand from my face to rub my eyes in my sleepy stupor, I felt the black smudge that was at one point my eyeliner smear across my face with my movement as I stumbled down the hallway.

 "Well good morning to you, sleeping beauty." A gruff voice spoke as the door to the bathroom opened before I could reach for the knob.     Standing before me, in all his glory, was a very almost naked Jeffrey Dean Morgan, clad in nothing but a low slung, barely-there cotton towel.   

   "Holy shit," I managed to mumble in surprise as my hangover was working its way through my body.    "Sorry, love." A breathy chuckle escaped his lips as he moved around me, fist tightly gripping the fabric around his waist.    "Mmmhmm" I groaned as he moved past me to allow me access to the bathroom.    'Better have left me hot water' I thought about mumbling as I closed the door behind me. 

    The shower was fucking fantastic. The sweat, the grime, the headache....all washed off. Using what I could only assume was Dani's razor, I shaved my body soft and followed up by using the expensive body wash that promised glowing skin and the face wash that guaranteed relief of the acne that Im sure would have graced me with its presence if I hadn't applied it as quickly as I did. After rinsing my hair I stepped out of the shower and grabbed another one of the thick towels from the cabinet. After rubbing the towel over my hair for a few moments I wrapped it around my body to make my way out of the bathroom to find where I had drunkenly stashed my backpack containing my clothes.     As soon as I left the bathroom and turned the corner, I almost ran smack dab into Jeffrey's now T-shirt clad chest, the only thing stopping me was his hands that reached out instinctively for my hips. "Well hello there, again, darlin'." He smirked with his deep voice. I stood there for a moment, unable to move, before I started stuttering,    "Uh-uh-uh... S-s-sorry J-J-Jeffrey," Words had never been my forte to begin with, but this situation just made it even more difficult.    "A-hem" I heard from behind the tall man standing in front of me, and I peeked my head around to see Jensen standing in the hallway with my backpack of clothes lifted up in the air by his index finger by one of the straps. "Looking for this?" He questioned sternly.     "Uh-uh, Yeah, thanks, bubs." I knew my face had to be 20 shades of red as I stepped out of Jeff's grasp and walked around him to where Jensen was standing. I gripped my back pack from him and ducked into the guest bedroom nearest to me. "What's that on your neck, Ky?" Jensen had followed me into the room.    My hand automatically flew to my throat and pressed against the new bruise that had formed from the day before.     "Uhhhhh, nothing. I...uh... had a necklace on yesterday that was super tight, I accidentally ripped it off and uh..yeah. ha..." I turned my back to him and quickly started rummaging through my stuff, finding a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt as well as a bra and underwear.     "A little privacy, huh, big bro? I'm not a kid anymore." I nervously laughed, looking over my shoulder towards him before looking back to my clothes.    "Hmm.... yeah, whatever." was the suspicious reply I got back. I heard his footsteps leave the room, and when I looked back the door had been shut all but a couple inches. I let out a sigh of relief as I let the towel fall from me as I worked at putting on my clothes. 

   "Jesus Christ, Ky," I heard Rob's voice from the doorway as I pulled my shirt over my head.    I spun around quickly and pulled my shirt down as fast as possible, just in time to see Jeffrey walk past Rob in the hallway with a unreadable look on his face as he quickly adverted his eyes from my direction. Rob's eyes were blown wide in surprise that quickly altered to anger.  I stepped over to Rob and grabbed his arm, jerking him forward into the room before slamming the door closed loudly. "Fuck, Robbie. What the Hell?" I growled at him.    "What the Hell is this?" He growled himself as he spun me around and ripped my shirt up.    "He did this?" I could hear the scowl in his voice as I felt his hands trail over the various yellowed and blue bruises adorning the delicate skin of my back and ribs.   Me jerking out of his arms was enough of an answer for him. I slowly turned back to face him but kept my eyes pointed at his chest as I wrapped my arms around my self.   "God Damnit, Kylin," He whispered angrily as he lifted my chin up with one hand and brought his other to gently ghost over the darkening mark Jensen had mentioned earlier. I turned my head to the left as he examined me, keeping my eyes trained the way my head was facing as the tears began to form again.    "Shut up." was the only thing I was able to get choked out before I crumbled in Rob's arms as he drug me to the bed and let me bawl like a baby for a solid 20 minutes. 

 "Shhhh, Sweetie, It's okay, shhhh." He cooed, rubbing a hand over my hair and kissing the crown on my hair. 

    I responded with something of a gasp and a hiccup before wailing again, shaking in his embrace. He had sprawled us out over the bed in a cati-cornered angle and had one arm under my head and I couldn't help but feel the safe feeling return after a few more minutes of blubbering, soaking his grey shirt with my tears. Rob gently squeezed me in his arms, careful of my bruises, before pulling back and moving the hair out my face so he could look at me.    "Promise me you won't let this happen again, Ky. Please." He breathed, voice broken from restraining tears of his own. "Promise" I sniffled.    He looked at me in the eyes again for a moment and let a tear run down his face before nodding and bringing my head back to his chest. We laid like that for a few moments longer while my breathing steadied itself. "Better?" He asked after a while, patting my back and pulling away from me.   "Better." I nodded, using the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my face as I sat upright.    Rob stood and grabbed my hand and pulled me up, linking our fingers together as he lead me towards the door. I followed him into the dining room where it seemed everyone had already gathered as the morning routine of breakfast preparation had began.    Justice lead the Padalecki boys on an assault against my legs, equipped with foam swords, the moment I separated from Robbie and sat down at the kitchen island.   "KyKy, will you make us pancakes?" Thomas asked while giving me a set of puppy dog eyes that could rival his father's. Knowing I couldn't deny them anything, the other two small children soon followed suit with the stare.    I let a huff of exasperation escape my chest as I hopped down from the stool I had been perched on and made my way past Dani and Gen to the cuppord to collect supplies, ignoring their snickers at how easily I was broken down by the tiny minions.

      "Need any help there, darlin'?" A rough drawl came from behind me as I was mixing in the chocolate chips into the batter. Jeffrey stepped up beside me at the counter and peered into the bowl while licking his lips.   "No sir," I said cockily, "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's this. I can make these in my sleep." I shook my head in a laugh while stiring the ingredients. I moved from my place beside him to the island where the stove was, checking the temperature of the oil in the pan. When I turned around, Jeffrey was leaning against the counter with his finger in his mouth, batter dripping downt he length of it. "Mmm-mmm-Mmmm" He said, furrowing his brows and shaking his head back and forth. I couldn't help that my breath hitched, or the bright red shade that flushed my skin at the sight. "Hey, Jeff, I think your car's here." Jensen grunted as he entered the room, glaring at me.   Jeff pulled his finger from his mouth while he rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the counter.   "Alright," He chuckled, grabbing his jacket from the chair it had been resting on and shrugging it on.    "See you all later," He waved at everyone, but when his eyes met mine he gave me a slight wink with the sweetest smile before walking out towards the door. With a sigh, I returned my attention to the pancakes.

  The day went on, spent with playing with the kids and lounging on the couch with the girls. I had received the phone call I had been wanting from my dad, him telling me he had been able to sneak into the apartment unnoticed, Anthony wasn't home, and had gathered up as much as my stuff as he could. He was about as oblivious to the situation as Jensen was, but not unlike him he did have his suspicions of the abuse as well.  Jared and Jensen had been sent to the grocery store with the kids, deemed 'Mission Impossible: Padackles & co' by Gen & Danni, so when the doorbell rang as I was laying on the couch I automatically assumed it had just been the boys needing help getting stuff out of the truck.   As soon as I opened the front door, I realized how wrong I was.   Anthony's fist came colliding with my face with such speed and force that I flew back like I was in a fight scene on my brother's show. He flung the door the rest of the way open and stalked the four feet into the house to the entrance of the hallway. He grabbed a fist full if my hair, pulling me up as he kneed me in the ribs repeatedly. "Stupid," punch. "Fucking," knee. "Bitch." slap.    Suddenly the very distinct sound of a gun being cocked was heard and Anthony finally looked up to see Danneel holding her .9mm at the ready and aiming directly at his head. 

"Get out of my house." She seethed with a dangerous glint in her eyes.   It was a big enough distraction for Rob and Richard to rush him and bring him to the ground, but neither of the two men stopped there.   Richard held Anthony by the throat as Rob clobbered his face repeatedly with his fists as they both had him pinned to the ground with the rest of their bodies. It wasn't until Jensen and Jared busted into the hallway and Jared pulled both men off of him while Jensen took the gun away from Danneel that they finally separated.    "Oh look who it is, the whores big brothers, here to save the day." Anthony spat the blood pooling in his mouth onto Jared's shirt as he was hoisted off the floor.   Rob and Rich rushed to my Side, Rob picking me up bridal style as Rich stood in front of me, shielding me with his back. I let my hair hang over my face as I clutched to Rob's shirt and sobbed uncontrollably.   "Damn straight you pathetic piece of shit. you'll never lay your fucking hands on her again." Gen raged, coming out of the dining room and pushing past everyone.   "I'm sorry, you did what?" Jensen pushed Danneel behind him as he re cocked the gun and stepped forward to Jared's side, "I know I didnt hear that right."     "The bitch is so stupid, she deserves it. Needs her head bashed in every now and again." Anthony responded darkly, bringing his eyes to where I was shielded by Richard. Jensen brought the barrell of the pistol to rest on his temple. 

    "Jensen, stop, its not worth it. I'm not worth it," I managed to squeak out between my sobs. 

    My brother turned his head towards my voice in disbelief. He moved past rich to grab my face in his hands and turn my head to look at him before he spoke,    "Don't ever say that again. You are worth so much more than this. Than him." He kissed my hair before turning back around, aiming at Anthony again.      "You will get the fuck out of my house, away from my family. You will not go any where near any of them, or you will find out how much my sister means to me and how little your life does," Jensen grabbed Anthony out of Jared's grasp and in one adrenaline-fueled heave, he was sent crashing back through the front entrance. Jensen stormed after him and proceeded to kick the ever living shit out of him all the way to his car. Anthony fell into the driver's seat a bloody mess before speeding off.      Jensen rushed back inside in a huff and scooped me from Rob's arms and into his own, soothing my crying with "shhs" and kisses to the top of my head as he carried me into one of the guest rooms. He laid me down on the bed as I continued to bawl before climbing in with me and cradling me in his arms.   "I'm so s-s-sor-r-ry, bub-bah" I managed.      "No, no, no, sissy, no. I should be the one apologizing. I knew. I knew, I knew and I didn't do anything about it. I should have beat his ass the first time you came down here. Oh, Kylin, I'm so sorry. Kenzie, Josh and Dad are gonna fucking kill me." He breathed through his own tears into my hair as he rocked me back and forth, giving me a gentle squeeze for emphasis.       We laid there for a while and sobbed together, him doing his best to comfort me while his own guilt tried to eat him up inside. I let him know I wanted to be alone so he decided that he was going to check on everyone else, and that everyone else would be in periodically to check on me and make sure I was okay. True to his word, about every hour or so someone would open the door and ask if I needed anything until I finally succumbed to my exhaustion and fell asleep.

    I was plagued with horrible dreams but my body kept me in my own subconsciousness as a defense mechanism. It wasn't until sometime the next afternoon that someone was finally able to shake me  from my screams back into reality.      "Shh-shhh-shhh, baby doll. you're okay." A gruff voice soothed from behind me as a hand came to rub my back comfortingly.      I whimpered at the unfamiliar touch and jerked slightly away. the hand quickly moved away from me and I felt pressure being applied to the other side if the mattress followed by a deep sigh. It was silent for a while before he finally spoke,      "I can't even begin to imagine what's going on in your head right now, and frankly, I dont think I want to." He started, taking a deep breath before continuing, "but I've heard that talking about things, when you're ready, helps more than anything. You've got a great support group here, and I have a feeling that they'll have your back and keep you safe." I replied with a sniffle.      "I'm so sorry that you had to go through something this fucked Up, but he'll get what's coming to him, Darlin, be sure if that." he assured, voice gruff and low. Another sniffle.     "I've got a flight to catch here soon, but I wanted to come say good bye, and that it was nice to meet ya. Know that if you ever wanna talk, you're more than welcome to steal my number and give me a shout." I felt the sensation of a hand nearing me before retreating back away, like he thought better of it. I felt the  release off the bed as he stood up, and his foot steps across the floor to the door.   "Thank you," I choked out meekly. A small chuckle floated its way through the room before he spoke the words that would inevitably be my downfall,  "Anytime, sweetheart."

[daemonmatthias]

"Get to know me" meme! 1, 65, 69, 91

1. What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

Well, my desktop is set to rotate between several images that represent my nerdy interests. I’ve got 2-3 Beauty and the Beast ones, 2-3 Kingdom hearts ones (and there is one overlap between those two), some Harry Potter/Hufflepuff ones, and 1-2 Studio Ghibli ones.

My cell phone lock screen is My Neighbor Totoro, and my wallpaper is Belle and The Beast dancing (from the new movie).

65. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?

Definitely the dictionary. I can do the thesaurus stuff in my head, but sometimes I have to check the connotation of the word to make sure the synonym I’m thinking of works in the same way. Also, I have to google words to see what phrasing my students are going to find when they look up a word so that I can make sure my answer choices are not too far off from or too close to what google tells them.

69.  What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?

You know what? That’s actually a really hard question…. I knew by my junior year of high school that I wanted to be a teacher, so that perspective has always caused me to focus more on the teacher than the class itself when it comes to memories…. and I’ve had a LOT of memorable teachers over the years. Here are just a few…

There was the professor I took two classes with in college. He was a Doctor Who nerd since like the 60′s/70′s and would slip in references (like “wibbly wobbly timey wimey” while talking about a book not in chronological order) even though I was the only one in the class who knew what he was talking about. His Literary Theory class changed my whole perspective on life/literature in the best way possible, and he fucking tore every paper we wrote to shreds to make us better writers. (He made it up grade-wise with stupidly easy reading quizzes with tons of bonus point opportunities- like fill-in-the-blanks for his favorite joke, which was “a skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop”, btw- and we could keep turning in the essays for better grades as many times as we wanted.) I worked my ASS off on his last paper and got a B on the first try. I have never been prouder. I also took his American Novel class where I read some of the best and absolute worst books I have ever read. Rabbit Run was the WOOORST, but I never ever would have read Winter’s Tale or The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao without that class. And, I certainly never would have read Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chaing without him. It’s something I never would have found/noticed on my own, and I loved every single word of those stories. I still haven’t found another writer that can mix science/math, literature, and psychology in the same ways. I’m currently re-reading the entire collection, as I’ve been wanting to since I heard Arrival was coming out.Side note: You should have seen me when I first heard of Arrival. I hadn’t heard anything about it until the trailer came on while we were watching TV. Poor Robert. I cocked my head to the side like a dog and started to say, “Why does this seem so much like that story I read?”, but only got as far as “Why does-” before BASED ON THE STORY BY TED CHAING flashed across the screen and I just fucking lost it. “IT IS, ROBERT, IT IS!!!” “Is what?” “THAT WAS MY FAVORITE ONE IN THE WHOLE BOOK!!” He was so confused and I had to backtrack and explain because that class was like the first or second semester we knew each other and this was the first time I had been remotely excited by anything in months.

There was also that Short Story class where the prof told us she wanted it to be a discussion class even though she’s terrible at discussion classes (her own words). That whole class was a hot mess. We discussed things so thoroughly that she couldn’t figure out how to write tests because she wanted them to be over what we hadn’t discussed about the story. We once had an essay test that asked us about “male enlightenment in Kate Chopin’s “The Storm”.” She started passing them out and everyone was like, “typo?? female??” “No. Male. Like the boy characters.” And we were just like…. uhhhhh ok then….” and when we left three of us got barely out of earshot before one asked us, “so what shit did you make up???” (I had bs-ed something about becoming enlightened to the fact that if mamma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.) The entire class pretty much bonded with mutual sarcasm over how awful the class was. It was a very unique environment because we all did actually enjoy discussing the stories with each other and we really got to know each other because the bond made us share more than we usually would with strangers. 

In high school I had the same teacher for AP Psych and APUSH. He was exactly my kind of sarcasm. I kept a “quote book” in high school, which was about 10% inside jokes and stupid shit we said, and about 90% Mr. A quotes. It was stuff like, “So we had the Triple Alliance and the Triple Entente. What does “entente” mean? Alliance. So we had the Triple Alliance and the Triple Alliance- BUT IN FRENCH.” I had both classes with him the same year, and he always connected the two by drawing on historical people for examples in Psych and mentioning (or using!) the Psych to teach us history. It helped me a lot in both classes. We also had to watch Phillip Zimbardo videos in Psych and we complained every single time because “He looks like SATAN and he scares us!!!!!” 

The was also the AP English teacher my junior year who most people hated because she was mean. (My friend who knew a bunch of upperclassmen said, “Oooh, you got The Wass. I’m sorry.” when he saw my schedule.) Only I got in the class period with the like 10 most sarcastic people in the entire grade and it seems like we were the only class to figure out that she wasn’t really mean- she was just one of the most deadpan sarcastic people I’ve ever met. We had a lot of fun because we realized she was really just sarcastic and would be sarcastic back. She asked us one day, a test day, after absolutely refusing to tell us how she was going to test us since we all read different books, “Do y’all wanna… draw a picture or do an interpretive dance for your test?” One kid immediately jumped up saying, “I wanna do an interpretive dance!!” and doing some kind of weird wiggle-dance. Her response was simply, “Too bad; you’re drawing a picture.” (And we really were.)

My senior English teacher was also pretty awesome. He completely scratched the normal AP Lit reading list and made a new one. It was full of awesome literature that I probably never would have read on my own and I loved most of it (especially The Tempest). He was also sarcastic and I’ll never forget how he would let us explore the literature as a class. I’ll also never ever forget his first poetry lesson. It was early in the year. He passed out copies of John Donne’s “The Flea” and read it to us. Then he goes, “what does this mean?” *Silence* “What is it about?” about half us are like ?????? while the other half are like uhhhhhhhh. He goes, “It’s ok, you can say it…” so one kid finally goes “….Sex?” “YES! Now how did you know that?” and the half that hadn’t been confused started pointing to certain lines, which he used to make us backtrack until he could give us a name of a device or explain about rhyme scheme or whatever. John Donne became my favorite poet because of his class. (We also read several of his holy sonnets later in the year and watched clips of Wit in class.) There was also the day he gave instructions for a timed write and then said, “OK? And while you do that, I’m gonna keep looking for a care bear costume that isn’t sexy.” We all laughed except one kid who goes, “How do you have a sexy care bear costume????” We all just looked at him until my teacher finally said, “…you know, it’s like lingerie with bear ears?” He also taught me the limited value of page minimums in writing. I didn’t quite make the page minimum once and got like and 85 on the paper or something. When we conferenced he walked me though all his comments about my organization and whatnot. I asked, “Ok, and just for my own reference, how many of these points were taken off for not meeting the page requirement?” He said, “Huh? Oh, none. None! You covered everything effectively and I don’t want to read the extra half-page of fluff.” Absolutely changed my perspective on writing papers and I aspire to make my teaching style much like his (when I’m teaching somewhere that can handle class discussions anyway…).

(Sorry, not sorry. You had to know that one was gonna be long! lol.)

91. What is your favorite word?

I think my favorite word is “persnickety”. It’s fun to say and applies to soooo many situations in the education world. I learned it from A Series of Unfortunate Events and have loved it ever since. :)

[epicbook-reviews-blog]

Intro to me

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for deciding to look at my blog! I hope you stay a while and maybe even suggest a book for me to review. Personally, I've always loved to read, ever since I was around six years old. Instead of wanting a new pretty dress, I would want a new book instead. Understandably my parents thought that this was amazing, they thought that I would be smart and successful,which for my sake more than theirs, I hope is true. I've just decided to do a random, 100 questions about me tag so you know a bit more about me as a writer :-) 1.) What's your favorite season? Oh wow, that's an easy one, it's Autumn. 2.) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find a line. "I wanted red and orange leaves in the fall. I wanted change." 3.) Who was the last person you texted? My mom, she asked me about where my brother went on vacation with his friend. 4.) Before you started this survey, what were you doing? Eating a few mini strawberry muffins for breakfast. 5.) What's was the last thing you watched on TV? Sons on Anarchy. 6.) Without looking, guess what time it is now. 9:50a.m. 7.) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 9.56a.m. 8.) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Bella (my dog) walking around downstairs and my ceiling fan. 9.) Do you tan or burn? Luckily my mom blessed me with Hispanic blood so I ran fairly easily :-). 10.) Do you like fish? I liked crab legs before I became a vegetarian, but other than that, I never liked any kind of fish. 11.) MAC or PC? MAC, I have a MAC book pro for school and it's lovely :-). 12.) Do you remember all of your dreams? I hardly ever remember my dreams at all, but the ones I do remember are the weird ones or the sad ones. 13.) When did you laugh last? The last time I laughed was around 12:30 this morning with my friend. She was talking about her upcoming birthday and how awesome it was going to be. 14.) Do you remember why/what at? She was talking about her upcoming birthday and how awesome it was going to be. 15.) Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I would really like to go sometime! 16.) Shoes, socks or bare feet? Oh bare feet all the way! I love shoes (hate socks) but sometimes I just don't feel like putting on shoes, you know? 17.) Do you wear perfume? Yes yes yes. 18.) What is the last film you saw? The Secret Life of Pets. I watched it with my dads ex girlfriends daughter. She is seven. 19.) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? London, England or somewhere where it is warm and sunny all year around. 20.) If you became a multi-millionaire over night, what would you buy? BOOKS!! (And maybe makeup :-)) 21.) Where would you live if you could go anywhere? Hell. (Being a smartass because I've already answered that question.) 22.) What's your favorite band? One Direction. (Not 10 btw.) 23.) Have you ever had to have surgery? No I have not. 24.) Do you enjoy school? Yes and no, mostly yes because I just like to learn things, it makes me feel good about myself when I leave school knowing more than I did yesterday. No because of all of the petty drama I get dragged into and honestly, I think these standardized tests are bullshit. Everyone learns differently and at different paces, not everyone is super smart. 25.) What do you think of these questions so far? They are pretty normal questions, so they are all right. 26.) Are you a righty or a lefty? Lefty! I know it's strange to hear because hardly anyone is left handed anymore, but I'm a lefty :-) (the only one in my family.) 27.) Who made your last incoming call on your phone? My Aunt. I went to a concert the other night and she saw my Snapchat story thinking I was alone with no parent supervision, (again not 10) but my dad was in the parking lot so... 28.) What's the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Steam. 29.) Last time you swam in a pool? A couple days ago, but I had just gotten my tattoo so I couldn't submerge it in the water and had to put a bandage over it. 30.) Type of music you dislike most? Country. 31.) Are you listening to music right now? Yes. It's my friends music, (she's over at my house) but we have the same taste in music so I don't mind it. 32.) What's your favorite color? Red or Black or purple or army green, it changes everyday honestly. I just like colors haha. 33.) Is there anything you are disappointed about? Plenty of things. 34.) What is the last thing you bought? A book for school :-). 35.) Sun or rain? Sun if it's during the day, but if I'm getting ready to nap or go to bed at night, then rain. 36.) Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Both! 37.) What's your zodiac sign? Scorpio. 38.) What's your hair color? Naturally, Brown. I dye my hair red every so often because I hate my natural color. 39.) What quote do you like by? "Do not judge my character by the chapter you walked in on." 40.) What's your favorite zoo animal? I think zoos are cruel, no I'm just going to have to answer with, I love all animals. 41.) Do you have any pets? I do! I have two pure bred boxers named Brinx and Bella. Brinx is purely white with black spots on his skin and he's 10 years old. Bella is a beautiful chocolate brown with a black face and white paws (they look like socks!) and she is five years old. 42.) What color are your eyes? Brown. 43.) Do you wear any kind of jewelry 24/7? Yes, I have two holes in both of my ears that I keep earrings in, a mood bracelet that I got with my cousin, and my belly button ring. 44.) Do you turn the water off when you brush your teeth? No, but apparently it's a big pet peeve for some people when other people don't run the water off when they brush their teeth but I don't really see why it matters. 45.) Do you know how to change your cars oil? No, I know it's bad that I don't know how to change my cars oil, but I honestly don't really care. 46.) Do you have any phobias? No. 47.) What's your lucky number? 8. 48.) Have you ever eaten a crayon? Once, I got dared to eat a crayon in kindergarten for a quarter. I really wanted that quarter so I ate the crayon haha. 49.) Can you solve a Rubix Cube? No, I've tried so many times, but I always end up getting pissed off and never end up finishing it. 50.) What are you listening to right now? Nothing. 51.) Do you like Marmit? I have no idea what that is. 52.) Do you wear the hood on hoodies? Sometimes. 53.) Is the glass half empty or half full? Well I'm very optimistic so it's half full :-). 54.) What's the farthest-away place you've been? Oklahoma. I've never been out of the United States... I'm boring :-(. 55.) Do you untie your shoes before taking them off? Sometimes if I tied my shoes extremely tight. 56.) What's your favorite radio station? Any station that has good music honestly, I'm not picky. 57.) Are you allergic to anything? Nope. 58.) Were you named after anyone? No. 59.) Do you wear glasses/contacts? No. 20/20 vision :-). 60.) Have you ever walked out of a movie theater before the film was finished? Yeah, then I snuck into another movie haha. 61.) What's your least favorite subject in school? Science. 62.) Put your iTunes library on shuffle. What's the first song that comes on? Poppin' Tags by Future. 63.) Do you wear jeans or sweatpants more? Jeans. 64.) Where in the world would you like to travel? Everywhere! 65.) Are you traveling anywhere soon? Not anywhere far from me. I'm going on vacation to Florida in July as well as Cedar Point in August. 66.) Have you ever built an igloo? What is this? I live in Tennessee not Antarctica. Obviously not! 67.) Best thing at Starbucks? Okay, I'm being basic here for a second, but the best thing at Starbucks is the Pink Drink. 68.) Do you like watching scary movies? I watch scary movies at 3a.m when I can't sleep and sometimes I fall asleep to them if that tells you anything. 69.) What's the best thing about school? My friends and English class. 70.) What were you doing at midnight last night? Laughing and watching Netflix with my best friend haha. 71.) What's under your bed? Dust and dog hair. 72.) How do you really feel about what you are doing right now at this exact moment? There was a question similar to this a few questions up. Still feeling the same. 73.) Think fast, what do you like right now? My new shirts from Spencer's I bought today. 74.) Are you sarcastic? My second language. 75.) What time do you get up? During school days, between 5:30a.m and 7a.m, but during the summer, around 10a.m. 76.) What was the name of your first pet? Brinx. He's a dog and I still have him :-). 77.) What color are your sheets? Purple. 78.) How are you feeling? Wow I'm starting to feel like I'm in therapy again...but I'm feeling pretty good right now. 79.) What was your favorite food when you were a child? Mashed potatoes. 80.) How are you feeling right now? Uhhhhh does someone has short term memory loss??? 81.) Can you whistle? Yup. 82.) Do you drink soda? Only Dr.Pepper. 83.) Have you read the Harry Potter series? Only the Sorcerers Stone, I wasn't really interested in the series to be completely honest. 84.) Can you drink a stick shift? I learned to drive on a stick shift before I learned on an automatic so, yes, I can drive a stick shift. 85.) What's your favorite candle scent? I'm honestly so obsessed with candle melts so I have a ton of candle melts and my favorite is probably the Zen one. It really chills me out because it smells reaaaaally good. 86.) Have your pants ever fallen down in public? No. 87.) Do you sing in the shower? Every time :-). 88.) Can you speak another language? Ugh... no :-(. 89.) Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows? Um.. yeah haha. 90.) Dogs or Cats? Dogs!! :-D. 91.) Do you make wishes at 11:11? Not usually. 92.) What's your favorite type of chapstick? Anything pomegranate flavored. 93.) Which came first; the chicken or the egg? Oh here we go. The most philosophical question on earth. The chicken. 94.) What are you reading right now? Norse Mythology by Neil Gailman 95.) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? *Sigh* Sadly I have never been able to do this :-(. 96.) Can you walk in heels? Now that I can do. 97.) How many rings before you answer the phone? However long it takes me to notice someone is calling me. No one really ever calls me though, it's usually just a text or Snapchat. 98.) Any new and exciting things that you would like to share? Yes actually!! I just got a tattoo a few days ago. It says "I love you to the moon and back" in my dads cursive, and I love it so much :-D. 99.) What is most important in life? Honestly? To live your life with no regrets. You only get one life on this earth, live it the way you want and don't give a fuck about what anyone else thinks. 100.) What inspires you? My imagination. Well that was it! I hope you all got a bit of insight on who I am as a person! If you have any questions or you want to request a book for me to review, then just ask! I'm always on here so I'll be sure to check my inbox everyday! I know this was a long post, but I hope many of you took the time to read it! This took me around 2 hours and I'm kind of ashamed to admit that... anyways, thank you again and I hope that this blog could be a way of finding new books and authors for a lot of people! June. 8th, 2017