#uhhh rinse and repeat I guess

[aarafox]

I don’t just “watch” a helluva boss ep. I start it, rewind about once every minute, text my friends and family about it, pause twenty times to get my emotions out, and finish. Then I start all over again and screenshot every bit that made me yell. Then I rewatch my fave scenes thirty times in a row

[angeltism]

i might have a crush on you but im not sure how to go about it and im not sure if its queerplatonic or entirely romantic

oh wow fuck sleeping (JOKINH JOKINH BUT I CAN REPLY TO THIS QUICK ?? ITHIJK ???) I didn't expect anyone to actually . okay wow . um . HFJSJFJDJFBWELL THEN ANON . TH . OKAY THANKYOU SOUNDS WEIRD TO SAY LIKE IK I'M GREAT AND I SHOULDN'T . THANK PEOPLE FOR LIKINH ME ?? THAT'S WEIRD . BUT . UM . wowzers ! honestly either way it's nice ik I'm a bitch sometimes about wanting romance but I like having friends n I still appreciate platonic n queerplatonic love . so . whatever it is ! um . yaa !! s o . god I said I want to flirt with someone but now I don't really feel . um . idont know . are you sure you aren't a paid actor . joke . umm . anyways I should sleep but . woah !!!

[swifty-fox]

⁶⁾ “i can’t believe it took a night like that for you to let me help you with something.” for Clegan please ? 🥹❤️ Only if it inspires you of course ❤️

uhhh guess this is a sequel to this other bathing scene

have another 1k of the buckies being cute

"Tell me something Buck," John's fingers swipes across Gale's bottom lip, presses a dimple into the plush center and replaces it with his lips for a brief chaste kiss, "how come you can't grow hair nowhere but your chin and I can everywhere but that."

Gale hums, closes his eyes as the razor scrapes along his adam apple in an audible rasp. He waits for John to pull the blade away, wiping it on a clean cloth to speak, "Guess I'm just lucky, John."

"Bestowed with looks that would make the Greeks and the Romans weep. Talented, smarter than any man in the room, perfect blue eyes, a full head of hair, the prettiest pink cock and hole I've ever seen-"

"Bucky"

"-and you're calling yourself lucky 'cos you can grow a beard in a week unlike the rest of us women."

He's laughing, the boney curve of his wrist pressed to his mouth to hide his grin and he hardly cares he's getting shaving cream there because Bucky's grinning at him with the full wattage of his mirth, face crinkling like expensive silk into a beautiful expression Gale knows by heart.

"Are you going to just flirt or are you going to help me shave this damn mustache?"

"Hmm," John squints his eyes playfully at him, leaning around his body to swish the straightrazor through the washbasin in the tiny London hotel room they'd gotten for the weekend.

Gale's chin is captured once again in a confident grip, sharp blade dragging across his skin with tender precision. His thighs are spread to make room for the broad spanse of John's body and it would be an easy movement to grind their hips together and turn this interaction altogether something different.

"You should keep the 'stache," John says, pulling away to clean the blade again, "It makes you look dashing."

"It makes me look like a child who can't grow hair anywhere else but his upper lip."

"You wound me, Buck."

The smile is an unwilling thing. His problem has always been that he can't resist John Egan's personality. The looks were a boon but he thinks the other man could have been plumb ugly and Gale would have still been his devoted man from the first moment.

He smiles at John and can't drop it even as John glides the knife across his throat.

He watches John's face and ponders the trust, the vulnerability. The sudden image of John tilting the blade too sharply, flesh zippering open under the tool turned weapon. He'd let him, Gale thinks. He'd let John do that to him, give him his blood and his life and everything else he might have. Unable to suppress his shudder when John presses the razor to his throat again, it makes John pause.

"I love you," He says, openly and blandly and for the first time aloud because it hadn't felt safe to do so while they were at war.

John, who had turned to rinse the razor, drops it with a clatter and Gale is subject to the glorious experience of a John Egan who is struck speechless.

"I-"

"Is that okay?" Gale interrupts, struck by a sudden nerve. Maybe this wasn't what they were supposed to be. Maybe it was too bold, too open for the secrecy that was asked of him.

"Is it - Jesus, Buck-" John kisses him, smearing shaving cream between their chins, "You're insane. I love you. Of course it's fucking okay. I love you." he repeats it a third time, as if he'd been holding them back and now could finally set every instance free.

Gale smiles, lazy and tired and warm under the hands fo his fella. John kisses him again and laughs.

"I can’t believe it took a night like this for you to let me help you with something"

[dimidarling]

Was having a much better day than yesterday and feeling better but then this evening I started feeling sad about this relationship I have w someone that’s complicated cause I don’t want it to be complicated, and my mom didn’t show up to a zoom we planned for a school project which means I wasted an hour waiting that I could’ve been using to do the other big assignment I need to do, and I was gonna have my fave salad for dinner but my dad ordered the wrong one somehow that I haven’t had before so now I’m just. My body still feels weird from yesterday and there isn’t much I’m in the mood to eat so I guess I’ll try the salad he got but I don’t even know what all is in it and I’m not in the mood for something sweet so if it had sweet dressing that’s a no go. And the restaurant is closed so he can’t even re order and I feel bad for feeling so torn up over it but it’s just. One thing after the other and my mood fucking PLUMMETED so. Idk. Gonna do a big assignment ig and see what I can stomach. I’m just tired of feeling bad. :(

[gnomeniche]

I was listening to Two Birds on a wire and then the line “I’ll believe it all”, and thought if Linden and Lucas. Omg it’s them, or from what I’ve seen, its reminds me of the two bros when they were a bit younger.

two birds makes me feel it all honestly. whenever i find characters i can apply it to i just lay there. i didn't even think of them as two birds but now that you bring up "i'll believe it all" i FEEL it.

anyway uhhh i was just gonna go into the twins' relationship and family drama but i guess this is the post where i do a deep dive into linden's fucked up brain. under the cut!

YES they were very close as kids. linden let lucas know what people without second sight were seeing so lucas could avoid being made fun of and lucas often enlisted linden for help when he needed to deal with something supernatural. linden never really questioned whether lucas's sight was real. even though he doesn't have second sight linden is observant enough to see little inconsistencies in things that he notices his brother giving funny looks toward. and he's physically felt invisible things touch him on occasions when lucas would bring him along to check out something weird he saw. so of course it's real. and they'd stand up for each other whenever someone was being cruel to the other. brothers stick by brothers, always.

they grew apart when they entered adolescence bc. well. adolescence is a time where you start paying more attention to what people think of you and what they think is normal. and the constant mockery of lucas started weighing hard on both twins esp since their parents already put a lot of pressure on them. pressure on lucas to not be such an embarrassment and pressure on linden to be perfect to make up for his brother's "failings".

the dilemma was that linden hated how people treated his brother and wanted to stand by him but he also was terrified of being treated the way people treated his brother. and it's really hard not to start resenting your brother when you are trying SO hard and want more than just a shred of affection for once in your life and everyone rejects him and by extension you because you two share a face and are usually together. and it was ABSOLUTELY NOT lucas's fault, but when you are a kid and there's so much you can't control, it's so hard to recognize that the blame falls on society and your parents. it's easier to blame it on something within reach. or someone.

and so eventually everything gets to be too much and everyone's laughing at you two and you snap and you tell your brother in front of everyone that god, they are right, why do you have to be such a FREAK all the time? and your brother, who never fucking expected this kind of shit to come from HIS FUCKING BROTHER, spits back that he always KNEW that one day you'd turn out to be just like everyone else. and then he runs off and you desperately want to apologize for losing it because you never wanted to treat him how everyone else does but he's avoiding you and now that he's not around you people see you without him and they like you more and maybe... you do... want to be like everyone else. you're getting the hang of talking and acting how they want and they light up and praise you whenever you say something they like or achieve something good and even your parents aren't disappointed in you and god it feels so good (but your brother was never a burden to you, says a voice in the back of your head, and you ignore it because you can't go back to the constant shame and fear even though you've just replaced it with a different kind of fear because you can never ever slip up or else they'll treat you like lucas again and then the guilt hits again for having that thought and rinse and repeat).

meanwhile on the outside he's just becoming more well-liked and more of an overachiever and he's gotten so good at wearing the mask that nobody can tell that anything dark is boiling beneath. and lucas never forgave him for it. rightfully so. he was supposed to be his brother and he abandoned him and now he's SO happy with his new life and he barely even acknowledges lucas anymore. and for lucas that's kind of worse? like it would be objectively worse if linden started bullying him after the initial fight but instead he just... stopped acknowledging him. at all. and that did somewhat redirect other people's attention away from lucas but like. your brother who used to wholeheartedly support and believe in you has just fully rejected you in the space of like, a week. it hurts a lot.

but even though it seems like linden has everything he is desperately lonely and living in utter terror all the time. like everyone likes him and everyone is friendly with him but. nobody likes him because they don't really know him! they only know the image he projects. and nobody is friends with him because he doesn't let them close enough even though he does a good job of fooling them. everything he's done for love has just put him farther from it than ever. he can't risk having a crack in the facade and having everyone see that he's someone they'd mock. or worse, someone they'd pity. don't look at him with that pitying expression. no vulnerability ever except for the carefully curated Seeming of vulnerability that makes people more comfortable around you. but no real truth.

but at this point what even IS true about him, anyway? like does it really matter that deep down he really does not want to be like this if he's spent half his life being exactly like this? at some point, if the facade is doing everything, the facade becomes more real than the person. eidolon problems baby. he barely has a concept of what his real identity is anymore because he spends so much time trying to be what others want. he knows he loves and believes his brother but if he can't let himself show it in any way but the smallest, does he?

like he knows magic is real but he spends so much time knowingly lying about lucas's sight being fake. and lucas knows it too. that just makes it worse honestly. that lucas knows that linden doesn't believe this but he is actively choosing to lie about it. and for what? for what, linden?

TL;DR he sucks. i'm holding him gently. he's a terrible brother. he knows he's a terrible brother and he knows his reasons for it are terrible. he's not scared of anything. he has severe anxiety. he's a mean girl. he hates mean people. he's made himself as perfect as he can be. he thinks there's nobody worse than him. he's beloved by everyone. he's still as desperate for any shred of real affection as he was when he was a teen. he knows exactly what path he is going to take. he has no idea what he wants. he's perfectly normal. he is unbelievably fucked up. he has everything. it doesn't make him happy. he's worst boy and he's my favorite.

it's gonna be a fucking ordeal getting him to open up let alone repairing his and lucas's relationship. it's a good thing he's a recurring character before the arc he features in so we can start chipping at that mask early.

anyway as a reward for making it this far i'll leave you with some more songs. "call them brothers" by regina spektor, "aishite aishite aishite" by kikuo, "lying beast" by run river north

[i-love-sweet-william]

Will, tired of having to bathe in green paint everyday, deciding if everyone's gonna stare at him anyway he might as well give them something to stare at: you wanna know how I got these scars?

(you can't see his leggies under there but he's just kneeling/crouching. also for your comfort, I'll let you know that Will didn't lose his wings at the same time he got that mf shaped scar)

so long story short. Mind Flayer Mushroom, Zombie Fungus Infection, Mycelium William. more details under the cut (but uhhh I dunno, tw cordyceps and all that comes with it I guess? body control to body compost. don't casually google it if you don't wanna see a bunch of close ups of different infected bugs. I'll give you a rundown)

(this particular Will will be in at least one more fairy post)

—

"cordyceps" covers hundreds of species of parasitic fungi, some that infect other fungi, but today we're specifically talking about the kinds that infect bugs. a spore will infect a particular bug's body and take over their movement, forcing them to go to a good elevation for spreading more spores. once there, it kills them and continues growing, feeding on their corpse. lastly a mushroom pops out of the bug's head and matures enough to release new spores into the world and infect other bugs. rinse and repeat.

also for the record, cordyceps don't actually infect the brain (they grow around/through the muscles) but. mf mush Does because Hive Mind, now-memories, weird dormant connection...yeah.

with all that in mind. the mf is like a type of cordyceps, but more permanent than a real cordyceps. like there's a Main Mush, real long-living shit (think the upside down library nest), then the spores it creates can connect other living things to the hivemind that lives there.

tho I'm not saying that it doesn't use dead bodies to fuel new life too (like the slug in Barb). if a host's muscles are still functional when their tasks are done, it will call them to the "library" to die there, add their body to the pile, just more nutrients to "build" the mf up. when a host is too injured to do much anymore it will simply kill them where they are and begin to grow a mini mf mush (like melting Bruce/Tom and combining into a mini mf) but those are usually found and burned up before they can start to grow out of the corpses

the "Shadow Monster" here is an absolute fuck ton of sentient spores moving together. unlike regular spores they move with purpose and can make various shapes to appear as something with a single body from a distance. a body like a fairy, a body like a giant spider, a body like an average insect. whatever it wants in the moment. tbh the mf might have been a fairy once. but that was a long time ago.

anyway it took over Will's body and mind and all that jazz. maybe had him kill some people. maybe infected some people. you know how it is. but it's fine, because Joyce got it out. Will's okay now. physically anyway...for the most part.

listen having a zombie parasite burned out of you can really take a toll on mental and physical health. that's not even considering how he feels after he finds out it's still somewhat connected and now he can— *shot*

ANYWAY he got some cool scars out of it and also he's got some Stories to tell from when he was sharing a body with a murder mushroom so that's fun! stories about shit he never did. stories about fairies and insects that are now....resting on a giant corpse pile feeding a massive zombie infection. lovely.

x / plus a page from Will Byers: secret files

he has the necklace in his drawing, it's supposed to help with. Things. it might just make life worse tho

[normadeathmond]

the spanish princess ep 3 thoughts

(now with pictures!)

this week was surprisingly silly for an episode named ‘grief’, and indulging in entertainingly dumb historical shenanigans is when this show is at it’s most enjoyable. comments, complaints and lots of poking fun inside.

- i am not the biggest fan of charlotte hope’s performance in this series, but i thought she did good here, showing catherine fighting her grief before putting on a brave face. i do think she would do better in the role if catherine wasn’t written as such a cardboard strong woman™ all the time. 

- lmao i love wolsey and how low-key hammy phil cumbus is playing him, you can tell he’s having a whale of a time

- political genius maggie pole, everyone

- love that catherine’s seduction technique is to bring up wolsey, there rlly are three people in this marriage

- what even was that scene - catherine pressuring henry for sex, him calling blow jobs unnatural and then trying wank off to the sight of her neck (was that supposed to be a hint at him beheading his later wives)?? rip to whatever got left on the cutting floor to make room for that nonsense

- blah blah blah the scots are violent and barbaric, lather rinse repeat. i am always distracted by how there is not even one nursery maid in the whole of scotland

- i enjoy catherine dunking on the name barnaby, it deserves it. (surely one of them babies should be named henry after the king?)

- given that there’s a reference later on to thomas more being a great favourite of henry’s, why isn’t he hanging out in these council scenes? i’m sure he can still eyefuck maggie pole while also dispensing sound advice. and is howard just gone forever now? i was hoping he’d stick around as catherine’s begrudging ally

- his smug little face! perfection!

- ursula, possessor of this show’s singular brain cell: marrying for political power and monetary gain? sign me up!

- jokes aside, this was a good scene. i like that ursula isn’t portrayed as greedy, but instead someone who’s realistic about what she wants from life based on her family’s experiences so far, even if she is a little naïve to think money and titles will protect her absolutely. i also liked that maggie’s objections weren’t so much “but twu love!” as much as “but maybe find someone you can stand to be around for twenty years of marriage”

- catherine: i am a political genius   also catherine: *can’t keep a straight face in public for two seconds*

- honestly catherine is a real shitty friend. i get that she’s struggling, but calling lina’s kids “ordinary children” like they don’t matter and her bitchy “you’re having a girl” last episode is such mean girl behaviour. 

- the great scottish babysitter shortage of 1515 continues

- hahaha of course the one good scot™ is a raging anglophile

- also why is angus being written as such a literal angel? he’s going to have to turn into a prick at some point

- if catherine can hire lina some wet nurses do you think she can throw a few coins meg’s way for a nanny?

- please can all of catherine’s scenes just be her and wolsey cattily sniping at one another

- i really dislike how in order to make catherine seem smart everyone else has to be clueless - first advising maggie pole on how to petition the king like she’s new to court and then being the one to suggest mary pick her second husband. it’s a weak way to prop up an under-written heroine. 

- my baby ;_; (georgie really is shining as an actress this season)

- this part was very cute, i like their squabbling childhood friends with secret deep romantic feelings dynamic. i thought we would get more of mary this episode though :(

- the court musician is the babysitter now? pay one female extra to hold the baby, i beg you

- sorry to my girl meg but this speech/sing-a-long was bad. this show is just not good at the rousing speeches.

- guess everyone’s going on a road trip to france! the whole royal fam taking a nice holiday to recently enemy territory seems totally believable! 

- seasick wolsey is the highlight of this episode

- maggie: all creatures crave union, there’s nothing fanciful about it ♫ you and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals ♫

- ARE these two gonna fuck?? i genuinely thought it wouldn’t go beyond a lot of angsty longing looks because matthew graham compared their plotline to remains of the day and laura carmichael said something like “it’s the incredibly religious, pious people’s version of a steamy romance”, but uhhh their horny little convo in the coach is starting to make me wonder if thomas more’s cold bed isn’t going to get a little warmer in a few episodes

- also i was hoping more’s marriage would be portrayed as two pals who got married for convenience rather than his wife being painted as a prude who denies him sex

- this dress 😍 also, her face 😍

- i can’t tell if maggie is an impatient idiot or a genius who figured henry would give her everything she wanted out of spite if she said catherine told her he wouldn’t (i give this show too much credit, it’s definitely the former)

- i know groom of the king’s stool is an easy thing to dunk on for a modern audience but the royal arse wiper was a very trusted and intimate friend of the king who commanded a lot of royal favour, so maybe hop off your high horse maggie

- tudor sexpert maggie pole: don’t say yes yet, sweetie, u gotta check if you’re hot for him first   ursula: please stop talking 

- i hate myself for loving them

- i like that even though compton is an awkward, slightly creepy weirdo, his crush on maggie does seem 100% genuine. i assume he’s going to get entangled in the henry/anne hastings affair next ep and that’ll let maggie wriggle out of the betrothal somehow?

-not this show making me feel sorry for henry. i like that they’re giving him human feelings about the loss of his children and ruairi is giving a great performance. 

- this was really the best french accent they could find? but mary attempting death by pillow fight was hilarious

- no one:   bessie: your grace, I do believe charlie brandon is truly sex on legs

- lina seems absolutely terrified that she pissed off catherine, a very healthy friendship dynamic there!

- shouldn’t wolsey have a swankier outfit now that he’s an archbishop?

[thehoneyedhufflepuff]

17 questions

thanks @sourcherrymagiks @fight-surrender @krisrix @bazzybelle @sharkmartini for the tags 💜

Rules: answer 17 questions & tag 17 people you want to get to know better

Nickname:

Lots of friends in the fandom call me Ash thanks to @warriorbeeofthesea 💜. I don't really have a "real life" nickname, so it gives me Emotions.

Zodiac Sign:

Aquarius

Height:

5'7

Hogwarts House:

I used to fancy myself a Ravenclaw, mainly for the smarts & maybe a bit for the house colors. But all signs point to Hufflepuff & I've embraced that. Also Baz is here, as he should be.

Last thing I Googled:

Onward, the Pixar film. I told Mr HH that I wanted to watch Howl's Moving Castle so I can read @ninemagicks fic, & I brought this up again yesterday & he was like yeah sure let's watch it. But he thought I meant Onward? LMAO? So we had a laugh about how he confused the two & I was googling photos this morning to make this:

Also we watched Onward & it was wonderful & also a Mood

Song stuck in my head:

Young & Alive by Bazzi, specifically these lines: Bonfire smell in your hair/Friday night lights, Friday night air because they make me think of Dev & Niall

Following & followers:

Following 125. For followers I'll say I'm getting pretty close to a milestone & that I'm super grateful that y'all are here. 💜

Amount I sleep:

I won't wake up with less than 8 hours. Preferably 9, probably 10 on weekends. Sleep is very important to overall health y'all; please never underestimate it 🙏🏼

Lucky Numbers:

IDK about lucky but my favorite is 54. My husband's is 9 which is funny because 5 + 4 = 9 HAHAHHAHA get it

Dream Job:

Honestly I might be returning to my original idea of a dream job, which was to be a writer. I sort of gave that idea up after I was rejected from the creative writing program in college, & also because I figured there was a slim chance of actually making money as a writer. But, y'know. Maybe it isn't too late. (It's never too late.)

Wearing:

Tunic + leggings

Favourite song:

This varies all the time. I find songs I like, play them into the ground, rinse & repeat

Favourite instruments:

I like to sing. Just now realizing I've not been able to have solo commute concerts for a while. Time to belt in the house & scare the neighbors I guess

Random Fact:

Uhhh I worked at Disneyworld when I was 19? Oh, better & related to the above: I was the lead in my senior musical but I can't dance worth shit so they told me "Maybe just stand still & everyone else can dance behind you" ddjltsjskg

Favourite Authors:

Ah man idk. I'll just list books I've obsessed over instead: Carry On, A Song of Ice & Fire, HP. Oh I like a lot of Atwood's books too. I remember getting in frequent "trouble" for reading The Blind Assassin at my cash register at B&N. My manager kept leaving me notes "no reading up here :)" "clean something" "restock bags" "no writing up here either :P"

Favourite Animal Noises:

Our orange cat makes the cutest ones my goddddd

Aesthetic:

I never know how to answer this question & then I question all my ability as a writer. Uh. Leggings + Birkenstocks + oversized sweaters curled up with a notebook & a cat on my couch (I guess there wouldn't be shoes on in that case but y'all get it)

Has everyone done this? If not consider this your tag 💜

[akiwitch]

I was tagged by @ambitiousauthor (THANK YOU) for a Novel Prep Game! We’re going Break the Sky Book 1, A Familiar Problem.

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

Aileen is a witch with an odd familiar. She is summoned to the city to help solve a string of murders, but there is more going on than meets the eye.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Novella, single book, book series, etc.)

It’s the first book of a trilogy I’m developing! The first two books can be read out of order but they come together for the third.

3. What’s your novel’s aesthetic?

Dark foggy city streets, Victorian-esque clothing, and glowing magic (but each book has a different aesthetic so... be ready for that)

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

Originally I think it was inspired by Jack the Ripper. I wrote the short story it’s based on a LONG time ago for a creative writing class.

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for the novel.

I... found two! Ish!

6. Who is your protagonist?

Aileen! She has the ability to communicate with spirits so she is trying to find out who is murdering witches.

7. Who is their closest ally?

Cav, her familiar. He’s a hat. At first, anyway.

8. Who is their enemy?

The murderer, and maybe someone she doesn’t expect...

9. What do they want more than anything?

At first she wants to get an job as an official witch in the city. Later she just wants to go home.

10. Why can’t they have it?

At first because she’s a witch from the middle of nowhere and her training wasn’t official - her old master was an elf. Now... spoilers

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

That she’s kind of cold and too ambitious. She is too ambitious, but her emotions just run a little deeper than most. She’s a caring person, just... not always on the surface

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

This is a bit of an older pic (about a year old now?) but here she is!

13. What is the internal Conflict?

There is a lot! Aileen’s training is not at all formal and most of her magic practice went towards helping her village, so she doesn’t feel suited for work in the city. She feels guilty about leaving her village without a witch, especially with the elves pulling back their support. She’s constantly having to choose between elevating her own status and helping out her community. And that’s not saying anything about her relationship with Cav and how that is putting a strain on everything else since no one else can hear him.

14. What is the external conflict?

Serial witch killer

15. What’s the worst thing that could ever happen to your protagonist?

Dying. Other than that, losing Cav

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

That’s spoilers!

17. Do you know how it ends?

Yes :)

18. What is the theme?

The importance of community

19. What is a recurring symbol?

Lights dimmed or covered, mist/fog, lots of...obscuring

20. Where is the story set?

Fantasy London

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your head already?

Ohhhh yes. I’m very excited to be able to spend more time with it

22. What excited you about this story?

The aesthetic! The drama! The twists! I’ve never written a murder mystery before so this is fun!

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Word vomit a draft, hide it away for a few months, rinse and repeat

I’m supposed to tag 23 people I guess? Absolutely feel free to ignore @silvershears @kimurasato @ditzysworld @milkyway-writes @quilloftheclouds @raevenlywrites @junekinn @cookiecutterwrites @corasnowbooks uhhh literally anyone else who wants to do this!

[vivi-is-very-tired]

hi tumblr. Uh so I wanna just like 'vent' I guess? So um yeah..... tw warning for suicidal thoughts/ actions?/cursing/ lots of other stuff. I wont be tagging any of this cause don't want people who dont wanna see it well see it. Also apologies for my typing I'm tired. So it's like 10 30 while typing this a lot of people you know get sad at night. That's me. Uhhh so it's just not good. so I listened to music (stylo) and well to be frank I hate that song. It's not the song itself but the memories attached. So when I was little my dad would play that song in the car right? Nothing too odd. And for some reason those car rides just awful memories. Like I hate thinking about it. I get motion sick, my head starts to ache, the air seems very humid? Idk why I like feel that way... but it's just bad. And then the o-God-i-cant-feel-anything-emotions-wise settles in. Right? And it just bad. Then the complete opposite happens where I am all emotions dear god chill out. And just rinse repeat a few times and that was a. Mildly my childhood and b. Me about 2 mins ago. And I dont wanna detail anything but it just sucks. Feeling like absolutely nothing and everything at once. So it all just snowballs into a big pile of bad emotions I dont want so I put em in a bottle and chuck it off a cliff. But like some creepy possesed doll they always come back. And all of that leads to my monthly mental breakdown! And then all the not good things start to happen. The scissors, needles, other sharp objects just come out of fucking no where! Like jesus christ. Whyyyy. I swear my mother keeps all the blades around me on purpose. I mean theres a knife down the hallway, scissors&needles in my room, razors in the bathroom beside my room. It's just annoying honestly. Whatever. Sorry to whomever reads this. Drink water. Or somthing. Hope ur doing well..... gn

[chubbyooo]

Blurred Lines: Cursed Past Chapter 40 - A Favour for a Favour

wow man I can’t believe we’re already at 40 the last 10 chapters have certainly been eventful we’re continuing the Gacen’s storyline after his breakthrough

Gacen and Ash find a slicer and make a deal

Ash had a headache, she’d been researching flight records for MC-18 light freighters in the outer rim for hours nothing concrete had come up just a list of possibilities. Trust outer rim spaceports to be sloppy with their organisation, she had narrowed down the flimsy records to maybe being on Dantooine for a few days with multiple different classifications given for the same ship in a few different close hangers. She swore half the time finding people was only hard because of people’s incompetence, she couldn’t be too mad though they were actually getting somewhere with this. She turned the holopad off this was enough of a lead to investigate and she had a hunch Gacen would try anything at this point. 

She peered into the living area of the ship, Gacen was talking to the bounty hunter again apparently she had a slicer or something to slice that camera. They definitely had a lead but that camera may contain proof that would save them weeks of searching in the outer rim. Ash looked to Gacen as he ‘negotiated’ with the bounty hunter, apparently they were square so they would owe her a favour which she was not looking forward to. Gacen seemed a lot more in his element now he seemed lively and excitable it was certainly a far cry from the mopey Gacen going around the ship wasted she’d come to know. Ash really hoped they’d find Risha for nothing else at least it’d given Gacen some direction to help himself out of this pit. Ash could see he’d been through a lot he was always talking about people leaving him Ash didn’t want to do the same she of all people knew how it felt to be abandoned. She did wonder though who had left him before Risha because there had to be someone else, could be the classic father issues but then again Ash didn’t even know where he was from it seemed like it had to be more than that. He said something about family while they were drugged at least she thought he did, ugh she did not want to repeat that experience she had acted like a total idiot. But Gacen definitely mentioned something about family and he was a pretty distinct person right, you didn’t see many sith Zabraks like him at least not ones so eccentric. Maybe his family abandoned him too just like her but she didn’t have massive abandonment issues right? Ash put that to the back of her mind that was a whole can of worms she didn't want to open. No that felt wrong too he’s talked about family before what did he say to her it wasn’t parent related it was... sibling? Suddenly it clicked back in Ash’s mind the conversation in the observation room, he said he had an estranged sister and that she wasn’t much like him. She guessed that was sorta abandonment but she couldn’t think of any reason he could feel so strongly about it, best not to press it it’s his business not hers.

Ash made her way back to the cockpit Gacen was still negotiating some deal, Ash was really not looking forward to whatever the bounty hunter wanted at least this time she wouldn’t get drugged. She would have to wait around a while maybe check the holonet see what the galaxy is up to, she began browsing all the normal stuff she avoided, top 10 things to do on Rishi, which sith lord are you most like?, what your lightsaber crystal says about you. She got the time wasters out the way and looked to the news in the galaxy, she browsed to see if there was anything besides the normal propaganda she frowned as she saw a story that seemed different. Jedi found captured in the depths of Zakuul she tapped the article and was surprised to see the face of an old friend Dzûsa the jedi knight. She hadn’t been too close with him but he was a good jedi and efficent, it said he’d been captured and used a ‘force battery’ whatever that meant. Lana Beniko from the alliance had saved him that sounded about right for the alliance the strong leader commander and her two level headed advisers who totally were just as bad. Ash frowned for a second the leader of the alliance was... a zabrak what if? no that was crazy Gacen couldn’t possibly not know must be unrelated. She dismissed the idea but a few minutes later she had to check she messed with the holopad getting up some old article about a conspiracy of some kind but more importantly there was a picture of the commander. She looked closely at the image she had to admit there was a little resemblance she could see but she may be seeing things. She didn’t have the best opinion of the commander after the business with Jorgan she understood why it happened but it still hurt to know what happened to him, that was part of the reason why she didn’t want to join the alliance. Wait this was ridiculous how on earth could Gacen not realise about the commander or maybe he had and he was just realy good at hiding it from Ash. Ash let out a sigh or maybe he’s been so drunk he hasn’t noticed, she hated that that was the most realistic option. 

She should just drop this it was intrusive she put the holopad down but as she was about to she heard footsteps from behind her. Gacen sauntered into the room “well don’t worry they’ll be here soon to slice that cam” Ash frantically grabbed the holopad so Gacen couldn’t see 

She turned to Gacen stammering “uh oh ok good get that sliced” Gacen frowned at her jovially nice going Ash very smooth

He peered towards the holopad “whatcha got there shen” she was so distracted hiding the holopad she barely caught the nickname

She gave him a glare “oh don’t worry it’s nothing important” Gacen gave a inquisitive smile please just drop it, Gacen didn’t need anything else on his plate right now

She had to think of an excuse “uhhh I kinda finished the search and got kinda bored so did uh the which sith lord are you most like quiz” Gacen chuckled 

He gave Ash a playful grin “haha no wonder I’m a Vowrawn apparently how about you” oh thank the force he was easy to lie to 

Ash had to think of a sith “uh I got uh Revan” was that even in the quiz she had no idea

Gacen nodded “yeah that kinda suits you you’re pretty middle ground” Ash nodded letting the comment slide, she looked from the holopad picture to Gacen there was a definite resemblance. Did he know? if he did she probably shouldn’t press it right? well if he didn’t what would it do to him? he’d been on such a positive rise lately this might put him back down.

Ash should check but subtly “did you hear about Dzûsa” Gacen frowned at her

“apart from that he’s a huge friendly behemoth that could probably crush me no” Ash had to be careful here just say the right details she could tell him later

Ash switched the holopad back to the article “apparently he was trapped under Zakuul being used as like a battery” she watched Gacen as he nodded

Gacen leaned back in his chair “I guess that explains why he went missing before us, I gotta be honest Ash I don’t really keep up with news and general galactic goings on” he paused looking away “the old booze will have that effect on ya.” Ash let out a long sigh of relief it was simple he just didn’t know and that was... fine for now at least until they find Risha then she could tell him. No wonder he was so weird about it Kyradia did not have the best history and if Ash hadn’t seen her alliance she’d want to avoid her at all costs too. That must be an interesting family she thought she probably shouldn’t have meddled that was his secret to tell, still she would still respect his privacy so what was the problem really.

Gacen poked her suddenly startling her “you know I beat him in a fight once” Ash frowned at him yeah right

Ash raised her eyebrow “you’ve never won a fistfight in your life I very much doubt you beat that giant” Gacen grinned

“I never said it was a fist fight, I beat him at Pazzak” Ash let out a long sigh “hey just trying to cheer you up you look a little uncomfortable” was she that obvious

Ash rubbed her forehead “nah I’m alright It’s just been a long few hours” that definitely was true

Gacen got out his flask “I’ll drink to that” Ash smiled let him have this one for his sis

The airlock opened and the familiar form of Amy strolled into the ship with her sidekick in tow “so I hear your in need of my services” wow she was well a lot. Ash could see her now in her bounty hunter outfit, long cape, bright colours why did all Gacen’s friends have to be like this 

Ash responded arms folded “well we need the services of Mako mainly her slicing abilities” Mako nodded to Ash as they made their way to the living area

Gacen passed Mako the camera “we need the internal memory of this bad boy” Mako caught it seemingly familiar with the two of them

She examined it for a second “yep this shouldn’t be too hard gimme five ten minutes I’ll patch it into the holo” Gacen’s eyes widened looking down to the mess of wires still on the floor “and apparently fix your holo” she groaned getting to work

Amy raised her eyebrow at Gacen “sooo you did find something I missed what was it” Ash felt that information shouldn’t be handed out to a woman who had betrayed them before 

Gacen chuckled “Amy let’s be real I’m not telling you that with your track record” oh thank the force Gacen wasn’t being sentimental

Amy nodded “yeah that’s fair, I’ll have to up my game” Ash still wasn’t clear on the relationship Gacen and Amy had it seemed like a you scratch my back I betray yours and then rinse and repeat, she’d never understand the underworld.

after about 10 minutes the holo flickered to life and an image of Hanger 31 was displayed, Mako stood up “ok that should be it this is the first point the camera was on, which was” she looked to her holopad “about 6-7 years ago” wow Gacen’s wife sure was a planner. Ash could see the hanger and the MC-18 light freighter that she had been staring at for hours of reports sitting in the hanger, so at least that part was right.

Gacen nodded looking very serious all of a sudden “ok set it to 3 years ago around uh” he looked to his hand where Ash remembered he wrote down the date Risha had visited “4 months in on the 25th” Ash focussed on the display as Mako changed it to those parameters. 

Everything looked the same the ship was still there the, room was empty Mako spoke up “Ok I’ll slowly fast-forward throughout the day”. The image sped up at about hour 5 the screen suddenly went black 

Gacen looked at Mako confused “what happened where’s the hanger” Mako frowned looking at the datapad

Mako grimaced “it looks like it’s been deleted I’ll see when it cuts back in” Gacen took a sharp inhale of breath putting his hand on his head. They continued to watch the transmission as it suddenly cut back in two hours later but now the hanger was empty no sign of the ship. 

Ash looked to Gacen who’s face dropped no she couldn’t let this be it “go back to before it cuts out maybe there’s something” Mako nodded she didn’t seem convinced but it was worth a shot. Ash looked towards the corner where they entered as the screen cut back in and she spotted a small figure for just a second.

Ash pointed “there in the corner slow it down” Mako did pinpointing the moment the figure was on screen and looping it, it was unclear who it was yet but Ash had a hunch. 

Ash looked to Gacen who’s eyes were wide “uh um zoom in” Mako zoomed in and the both of them could clearly make out the form of Guss Tuno as he was suddenly pulled back by a hand off screen. 

Gacen’s face broke into a smile “that beautiful clumsy bastard” he pulled Ash into a sudden surprising hug

Ash squirmed awkwardly “woah uh ok you’re welcome” she was the one who saw it after all. Gacen let her go with a smile, this was a solid lead looks like it was next stop Dantooine.

Amy loudly cleared her throat “right now that that is over we are calling in our favour” oh god no Ash didn’t want to deal with this right now

Gacen grinned at her “I think we’re gonna like this one” Ash narrowed her eyes at Gacen that meant it was so much worse

Amy was smiling too “I have been tasked with eliminating a noble who will be attending a gala but to get in I need some rich influencers I.e Gacen’s extensive wealth so basically get me in and make excuses while I’m gone” Ash’s heart sank a gala meant she’d have to dress up her least favourite thing.

Gacen was squealing with excitement “Ash you know what this means” don’t say it “we have to go fancy clothes shopping” Ash groaned this was her literal worst nightmare...

[raiswanson]

tagged by @vulpixofwin FINE I’M DOING THE THING

rules: answer all of the questions, add one question of your own at the end, and then tag as many people as there are questions !

1. Coke or Pepsi?

Pepsi, I guess. I’ll drink either, but I don’t really reach for them if I have other options. I prefer Dr.Pepper above both.

2. Disney or Dreamworks?  

Disney classics are my JAM, but Dreamworks has been doing super well lately

3. Coffee or Tea?

*cough* I loathe both sORRY

4. Books or Movies?

Books!!!!!! Movies are usually pretty forgettable for me. Too short.

5. Windows or Mac?

Windows.

6. DC or Marvel?

I don’t really think either is better than the other, but Marvel has Spiderman soooooooo...

7. Xbox or Playstation?

PLAYSTATION 4 LYFE

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect?

Dragon Age! I enjoyed the story and most of the characters more. But oh man. Garrus. Garrus.

I love you you amazing bird dinosaur alien man

9. Night Owl or Early Riser?

Night Owl to the point that I’d almost be considered an Early Rise, except I’m STILL AWAKE and not WAKING UP at the “early bird” time :p

10. Cards or Chess?

Cards, I guess. Not wild on either.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate chocolate chocolate

12. Vans or Converse?

I’ve never worn either before in my life. I believe in taking care of my feet thank you

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar?

I haven’t actually played Inquisition yet but Lavellan is an elf soooooo. That one.

14. Paragon or Renegade?

Paragon. I like having allies and perks thank you.

15. Star Wars or Star Trek?

Star Trek always.

16. One episode per week or binge watch?

Binge watch, usually. I know not the meaning of moderation in regards to consumption of media

17. Gandalf or Obi-Wan?

Gandalf was aight. Don’t really have a strong opinion of either tbh

18. Heroes or Villains?

...heroes? idk it’s case by case

19. John Williams or Hans Zimmer?

who the heck is John Willaims

*quick google search later*

oh he’s someone I’ve almost never heard before.

Hans Zimmer. all the way

20. Disneyland/World or Six Flags?

Disneyworld...I guess? I don’t really dig theme parks that much.

21. Forest or Sea?

Forest!!!! I love the woods!

22. Flying or Reading Minds?

Flying. Way more handy imo

23. Twin Peaks or Northern Exposure?

what or what?

24. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?

Lord of the Rings. Legolas is bae

25. You’re banished to a deserted island, which Benedict Cumberbatch character would you choose to take with you?

....I’ve basically only ever seen him in Sherlock.....what else has he done...?

26. Train or cruise ship?

NOT REALLY A FAN OF EITHER THANKS

27. Brian Cox or Neil deGrasse Tyson?

Who tf is brian cox. I mean i barely even know who Niel is but what. Why do I not know so many things on this list good lord

28. Art museum or science museum?

Science museums are pretty sweet. I like dinosaurs and cool fossils and shit.

29. Irish Pub or Night Club?

Both sound like an unpleasant time. Can I say “home”?

30. Aang or Korra?

Never watched Korra, so Aang it is. Cute lil cueball.

31. Swimming in a pool or lake?

Pool. I stepped on something (possibly a turtle) in a lake once. No thanks. I like to not have animals swimming with me. 8l

32. Classic music or classic literature?

Music. Gimme those instrumentals.

33. Oxford comma or no oxford comma?

OXFORD COMMA AND IF YOU’RE ANTI-OXFORD COMMA YOU CAN GET OUT. THE DOOR IS RIGHT THERE YOU HEATHEN

34. Digital or Paper books?

Paper!! Theyre more comfortable to hold and I can display them on a bookshelf to shove guests toward :D

35. Rainy or Sunny days?

Rainy~ I like the cold temperature it brings (usually) and the sound of water falling. Also rain means I don’t have to water my garden that day.

36. Fantasy or Science Fiction?

Ooooooohhhh.....fantasy? I hate this question every time i see it because I love them both. They’re like twins, please stop comparing them. </3

37. Flowers or Succulents ?

I guess flowers? If only because flowers usually lead to produce, which is what I grow in my garden lol. Speaking of, my blueberry bushes are getting all green again. NICE.

38. Berestain or Berestein?

It was Berenstein damnit. what kind of crazy alt universe did I fall into GET ME OUTTA HERE

39. Drive with the widows open or closed?

Closed. I like being able to hear the radio without blowing out my speakers thnx

Also I live in texas, so like....its hot here, man. We have air conditioning, why would you spit in the face of that

40. Laundry still in the basket or neatly put away?

ha. I haven’t put my laundry away...in a long time. It’s in the basket until the basket is empty, then it’s laundry time. Rinse and repeat.

and for my addition I add, uhhh...

41. Long series with multiple different arcs/villains/ect or short series with one arc/villain/ect?

I’m not gonna tag anyone, but if you want to fill this out go ahead and pretend I tagged you :p

[rielity]

11 Questions + 11 More

Rules: Always post the rules. Answer the 11 random questions posted for you. Create 11 new ones and tag 11 people. Let the person who tagged you know that you answered.

Tagged by @hikarinoamaiyume and @yukiokasamatsus thank you~ 

(lol it got too long so I put it under a cut)

Kira’s:

1. What are your Astrology and Chinese Zodiac signs?

Libra + Pig/Boar 

2. What do you expect for 2017?

A bunch of new experiences, meeting new people, stepping out of my comfort zone, to learn and to grow! 

3. What are you favorite bands/singers?

Of all time?? Super Junior, DBSK, CNBLUE, GReeeeN, UVERWorld, Mayday 五月天 , Galileo Galilei, Kenshi Yonezu, Nico Nico Singers - ASK, clear, that, Gero, Amatsuki, Ito Kashitarou. (holy shit no English bands/singers here oops)

4. What are you currently reading (even if it’s just for studying or a fanfic, anything is valid! :D)?

Hmm the first things that come to mind are my fanfic drafts... orz but other than that, I have around 10 AO3 tabs open on my computer rn and 5 on my phone :U I’ve been so busy with my own writing that I haven’t had much time to read any long fics recently u_u

5. Are you an artist? What kind of?

Uhhh I’m a writer??? Ahahahha.

6. Do you like karaoke?

Yasssss I like it. I just went for a karaoke session on the 29th! It’s the reason why I’m in a Mayday 五月天 mood recently woops.

7. Have you ever gone to a live concert?

Yup! I went with my family to a Taiwanese band’s concert in August this year, & I’ve been to Super Junior’s concerts when they came to Singapore! Waiting for them to come back here, tbh ~ Also I used to play for orchestra, so I went for live orchestra concerts too heh.

8. What gets the most of your attention while watching anime (ex: the story, the characters, the ships, the art, the sound part, etc.)?

I’m super picky I think... Storytelling, worldbuilding and plot are the most important, of course. Characters should be memorable, at least. Art and sound are a plus. Ships wise, uhm. It doesn’t really matter unless the ship makes me feel uncomfortable. I’m used to my ships not being canon anyway, so ships don’t take much precedence here.

9. Do you like taking pictures?

Yes~ I really like photography even though I don’t have a good camera. I’m usually the photographer in my group of friends... but I’m super awkward when photos are being taken of me lol.

10. Do you have many social networks? Which one is your favorite?

Oh, tell me about it. I use Facebook and Instagram and Whatsapp and Telegram to talk to my rl friends. And I have Twitter, LINE and Tumblr for fandom. My favourite’s probably Telegram?? I love Telegram stickers lmao. But I use Facebook and Tumblr and Whatsapp a lot more than the rest. 

11. Have you made friends on the internet?

Yep I have. *looks at all my tumblr mutuals, which includes you :D*

Safyre’s: 

1. Are you committed to playing a game (mobile, videogame etc), or do you play it for a while then delete it?

I play it for a while and delete it. Or rather than deleting it, I just leave it and never come back to it. My attention span’s pretty shitty when it comes to games lol I can make it at most two weeks before I get bored.

2. Sports or no?

Nope. I used to play sports when I was in primary school but I kind of lost interest?? Didn’t help that I was in a performing arts cca, always sitting in an airconditioned room huehuehue. And when I was in junior college I injured my knee pretty badly so ever since then I’ve tried to go easy on the stress I put on my knee lol.

3. Are you a soft toy/plushie type of person?

I used to be! I sleep with a bunch of old soft toys but my parents have banned me from getting any more. Also they make me sneeze a lot lmao

4. How do you organise your charging cables? Are they in a big mess or do you roll them up nicely etc?

HA HA HAH AH AHA HAH. Okay I only have two charging cables for my phone, one for the wall charger and one for the portable. I just ... leave them there?? Earpieces though... ever since I lost my tangle-free JAYS, my current earpieces always end up in a big mess even if I try to roll them up nicely.

5. British or American English?

Singlish. 

... Okay I think I use British?? I don’t even know which I use tbh? Like I write ‘colour’ and ‘favourite’ but sometimes I write ‘revolutionize’ other times I write ‘revolutionise’ lol why am I like this orz my editors for the campus paper scolded me so many times for this exact reason

6. What sort of things do you collect? Coins, stationery, stamps etc?

Notebooks and art prints/posters! 

7. What hobbies do you have?

Sleeping, eating, writing, reading, rinse and repeat.

8. Favourite type of snack?

Black forest chocolate!!! Also tom yum flavoured seaweed.

9. Do you have a calendar on your desk? Do you cross out the dates as they pass by?

Nope and nope :3c

10. Social media: what do you think of it?

Wow two social media qns in this tag thing! ;o Like I said, I use a pretty wide array of social networks... each network has its own purpose, I guess? Facebook for collecting photographs & news updates, Twitter for... I don’t know what I do on Twitter besides scream about fandom, Instagram for being pretentious and curating pretty images to show off to people I don’t care much about, Tumblr for fandom trash, Whatsapp and Telegram and LINE to chit-chat talk cock sing song talk to my friends (tho I do use Tumblr messenger to talk to my Tumblr mutuals too lol).

11. Do you like walking barefoot on grass?

NOPE I get grass rash................................... screams I like playing in the rain though! ........ when I’m right outside my house and can come right back in to take a shower immediately afterwards u____u

My 11 questions: 

1. What’s your favourite drink?

2. If you had to recommend one anime to anyone, what would it be?

3. The ultimate OTP (if you can’t decide on one, then two).

4. Where would you go, if you could go anywhere in the world? 

5. What’s your Hogwarts house and/or Pokemon Go team?

6. Favourite fanfic/fandom trope?

7. What’s the temperature where you are right now? 

8. How many tabs are open on your browser now?

9. When’s your birthday?

10. Who’s your idol? (can be a family member, a friend, a teacher, a kpop idol, whoever!)

11. I seem to ask this every time I do one of these tag things, but: Recommend me three of your recent favourite songs.

Tagging: (please don’t feel obliged to do this though!)

@swallowtail-butterflys @codedredalert @directorennoshita @morisuke-kun @smol--kiwi @naoyasukuguris @katotaine 

[god-hunter]

Delirium - 2016

This was an awesome, amazing fucking album, and I’m sorry I took so long to get it/review it.  I got this bad boy as a birthday present for myself in April of 2017, but this came out a year ago, around the time that I finally reviewed Broken Crown Halo, I think.

Anyway, this album absolutely brings back the old sound with heavy double kicks right at the get-go.  There’s definitely a fair amount of Karmacode & Dark Adrenaline in here, and I’m very okay with that.  Broken Crown Halo was a good album, but it was quite subdued in comparison.  This time, I feel like they really wanted to kick ass.  And they definitely brought their A Game to most of the songs. ��(I say most, because there’s at least 1 clunker in there for me.  But it’s still good.)  There’s a great flow in this whole album.  They definitely set the tone for something dark, heavy and beautiful and once again, I am completely inspired by this wonderful band.

This might even be my favorite album by them.  [I tried to wait a while before reviewing this I think, so my review wouldn’t be completely biased.]

Since nearly every song is a fan-favorite on this one, I’m gonna take you through them very quickly.

1. The House of Shame - We start with some very pretty, solemn and haunting “Oh”s from a chorus of voices (probably produced by a Synthesizer.)  Then the heavy metal double pedaling and crushing guitars kick in relentlessly.  When the verse really starts up, Andrea takes the lead on this one.  Cristina Scabbia takes on a pre-chorus that leads into a very catchy main chorus.  The synthesized orchestra is in there, and everything is gorgeous.  Then we’re taken right back to the sweet double pedals and repeat the formula once again.  After the next chorus, there’s a quick guitar solo that’s nice and exhilarating as we get into a double-pedal break down.  When I first heard this I was super excited.  Then everything stops to give Cristina a solo moment to sing the chorus without any instruments save for the orchestral synth.  The instruments join up again for a final chorus and then the sweet double pedal part rolls in again, before we close it off with an exciting ending.

2. Broken Things - This one started with a bit of a bold move by Andrea.  It’s just voice and guitar.  “Now SUUUNK in the Horizon!  We’ll watch the hours go by.  Faaaall and then arise again.  I hear the darkness breathe!!”

When I first heard that I was like, “ooh...  I dunno.”  But then the rest of the instruments join with some heavy pedaling and riffing.  [I noticed that they definitely got a lot more ‘Metal-core’ for this album.  All the typical off-beat pedaling and whatnot, almost made this band unrecognizable for this album.  But there’s definitely that Lacuna touch to it that makes this song pretty and listenable again.  And that would happen at the 37 second mark.  Suddenly the drums calm down, and a single stringing guitar leads the line with a little synth behind it for backbone.  Cristina leads us off with a nice verse, then goes into an awesome little chorus.  No idea what she’s singing about, but it’s fun.

Andrea comes back in with his familiar refrain, but you couldn’t call it a Chorus. Because Scabbia kicks back in with the now-familiar verse and Her Chorus.  And it’s definitely way catchier than Andreas.  Anyway, this song is very cool and a lot of fun to listen to once you get into it.

3. Delirium - Then comes this guy.  The title track.  And it’s amazing.  You just have to get over a strange sound effect in the background that they used all the way back in Shallow Life.  There’s like a very high voice, which sounds like Cristina using a vocoder or something.  It’s squeaky and almost annoying, but it somehow suits the song because it’s far enough in the background not to get in the way.  

Anyway, they don’t waste a minute for Cristina to start singing, “Deliiiirium”.  Then Andrea takes the verse to set a nice sweet, moving, but calm tone.  This song is heavy, and I suppose a little mellow, but it’s doesn’t slow down any.  It’s just nice and dark.  Verses, flow right back into Cristina’s “Deliiiirium”s.  She woos us with a beautiful break-refrain.  This song ends almost as soon as it starts, but it’s just awesome.  The flow is the same throughout and I’m okay with that.

4. Blood, Tears, Dust -   Hands down, my FAVORITE song on this album.  They definitely get new here and use a little bit of Dub-step to their advantage here, but I like it a lot.  First of all...  Andrea’s growls are back.  (That was apparent in the first song too.)  But secondly, there’s just this awesome riffing going on.  Almost Fear Factory-esq.  After Andrea’s growls, Cristina’s beautiful vocals pool in for a Chorus.  And I swear, I feel like I’m listening to them for the first time again.  This is the band I discovered half my life ago at 16.  It was such an awesome feeling.

This song rinses and repeats in this fashion, but it is honestly such a pleasure to keep hearing that chorus.  Cristina picked such nice notes in the higher range in such an order that I keep wanting to hear it.  The backing parts too.  Everything is hypnotic in this song for me.  I don’t tire of it.

5. Downfall - Then we get this song.  ANOTHER Favorite.  Lacuna Coil fucking rock out with guitars and bass chiming in with 16th note strumming.  But the backbeat is mid-paced and down beat. There’s a nice calm synth really holding everything together as Cristina rolls us through the verse and chorus for this one.  Agh!  The guitars are so good in this one.  Andrea offers light back-ups here only sometimes.  And they really add to the song.  I fucking love this band man.  They fucking did it again.

6.  Take Me Home - ...This one, is the one clunker though.  For whatever reason, they decided to start in a child’s chant.  One of those ‘nya nya nya nya’ things...  And it’s awful.  Creepy sounds chime in 13 seconds in, with a guitar.  Then Andrea takes over chanting, “Take me for a Riiiiiide!”  That’s when the song really kicks in, and I guess it’s better, but I still have the bad taste in my mouth from that weird chant.

Andrea controls a verse that I don’t care about.  It’s mostly drum and bass with little guitar inclusion.  The guitars kick back in for a Chorus, that feels lost on me from such an awkward beginning.  Cristina sings it, and it doesn’t sound good to me.  It’s somewhat fast, and a little uninspired in my opinion.  [I feel like whoever wrote this one definitely doesn’t usually do the writing in the band.]

Uhhh, I think there’s a break-riff that’s a little bit better by the end of the song.  But honestly, every time I listen to it, I just go through the motions.  This one is a complete skipper for me.  

Although, if you do stick around for the end, I suppose it flows into the next song, which is Way better.

7. You Love Me ‘Cause I Hate You -  This song is a power ballad, that at first sounds like it won’t go very far.  It’s good..  Cristina leads us in with a verse that doesn’t stop.  The drums are slow, but powerful, if not a little processed.  But then suddenly Andrea interrupts with a hard, “YOU LOVE ME ‘CAUSE I HAAATE YOOOUUUU”, and Cristina rolls with it in the background, beautifully.

The 2nd verse, is just as good as the first, with the rest of the instruments a smidge more awake and heavy.  That 2nd Refrain kicks in and it’s just as awesome as the first time.  After the refrain, Cristina sings a new part, which I guess would be considered the bridge.  We get a 3rd “YOU LOVE ME ‘CAUSE I HATE YOU” and it’s just wonderful.  Very easy to learn, and sing along to.  Very cathartic, and yet still beautiful and almost calming.  I love it.

8.  Ghost In The Mist -  This one is way more metal-core, bring back a little of those ‘Blood, Tears, Dust’ effects.  I notice that LC have a bad habit of writing songs in the chromatic scale sometimes, and that definitely happens this time, after there Dub-steppy part.  There’s a bunch of half-steps that climb up in a verse, which just sort of bother me.  But then the part after that is very pretty.  The chorus by Scabbia, of course.

By the 2nd go-around, the half-step part isn’t as annoying.  You’re sucked into the formula at this point, and enough parts are enjoyable to cohesively keep it all together.  So this one isn’t my favorite, but it’s still enjoyable.

9. My Demons -  This is a gorgeous power ballad/dub-step/metal core tune.  They really embraced this new hybrid sound of theirs.  They evolved...  And Andrea’s refrain is easy to keep in your head.  “I feel fucked up today. My demons cursing me as I’m awake.  My head is spinning, I can’t think straight! Your words are poison inside my veins!” He continues with a “You liiieeeed”, and a little bit more, before it’s Cristina’s turn.  And even then, he sings, “You lieeeed”, which really makes this feel like a nice collaboration between the two.

They’re both singing the chorus.  Him the back-ups, while she gets into this beautiful part.  “I’m thinking about you, uncertain without you” “...I’m choking without you,”.

It’s very good.  This is the mellow part of the band that I signed up for.  Even their mellow numbers are fucking heavy on this one man.  I love it.

10.  Claustrophobia -  Another ballad/metal-core mix.  More subdued than the last, Cristina leads off a whole bunch of verses, about “Is Hate the Answer”, etc. etc.  These songs definitely fit more into the Broken Crown Halo set, which is fine.  I welcome it.  A very good power-ballad with an awesome guitar solo to boot.  i really like the end of this song more.  There’s a nice little instrumental break moment, where there’s all sorts of dubby metal-core things happening.  A cool sound in the synth gluing it together, before the final refrains.  It’s also chilling to hear Cristina close it off with, “Will hate be the Answer?”

Very topical.

11. Ultima Ratio - This song, honestly sounds like it could be the last one at first, but there’s plenty more before we’re done done.  The verse is sort of whatever with Andrea, but Cristina kicks in with a small pre-chorus and then an awesome Main Chorus.  “Save me, before I fall apart.  Come closer to me, while I’m still alive.”  Then she does this really graceful thing with her voice as she sings, “It neee---eee-ver Eeee-eends”  twice.  It literally makes the song man.  I fucking love that choice.  This totally could’ve been their last song of the album.  And maybe it should’ve been.  But we got even better things coming up.

12.  Live To Tell -  This is a Madonna cover if you can believe it!  When I first heard it, I had no idea.  Then I heard the actual song on the radio, and got all fucked up when I heard the familiar chorus.  Which is an attestant to Lacuna Coil.  We’ve brought it up before.  It seems that on all of their Even Number albums, ever since ‘Unleashed Memories’, they do a cover.  That’s just their thing.  And I love that they’ve kept it up.  Yet again, they fucking nailed it, with something solid and incredible.  Blowing the original song out of the water.

She super slowed down Madonna’s verses.  There’s a whole different musical part underneath basically.  When the chorus kicks in, it resembles Madonna’s version, but it’s very slow with significant back-ups that shape the chorus more.  They practically dominate the song to really shape it into it’s own original version.

And again... I had no idea this was a cover at first.  I thought LC just nailed it with a beautiful power ballad once again.  I love the bridge where guitars and drums stop.  It’s just synth and her, when Cristina sings, “If I run away, I never have the strength, to go very far.  How will they hear the beating of my heart?  Will it grow cold?  The secret that I hide.  Will I grow old? How will they hear? When will they learn? How will they knoooow?”

It’s fucking awesome man.  Really beautiful.  Gorgeous.  Amazing cover.

13.  Breakdown - By this point, the album’s already done for me.  They wowed us so much already!  But there’s 2 more.  This song is somewhat of a solemn, heavy after-thought to ‘Live to Tell’.  Another one that’s good, but not my favorite.  We heavy Cristina and Andrea handling the verse with call and response type stuff.  Then she controls the chorus, and it’s just sort of whatever.  Not a bad song though.  It just sort of feels tacked on to me, to  be honest.  There’s a very cool bridge though.  It keeps buildings and gets heavier.  Andrea even has a solo moment to shine with awesome growls before a final chorus.

14.  Bleed the Pain -  This is our last song, proper and it falls flat for me.  It’s not a bad song at all, but somehow, I feel like we got this already in ‘Ultima Ratio’.  The songs don’t even sound the same, but there was something of a finality to that riff for me for some reason.

Anyway... this one is pretty Metal-core for an ending.  Definitely a different choice.  Andrea definitely went for it on his back-ups.  Cristina did her usual catchy pretty vox for the chorus.  More metal-core strumming and pedaling, in full sync.  This more-less rinses and repeats until we come to a close.

...and that’s the album!

Every time that last song ends I feel like there’s something coming next.  But I get surprised to hear track 1 again.  Either way though, there’s at least 8 solid songs on this disc for me that makes it More than worth it.

And how about that Madonna cover man?  Shit!  At this point there’s an EP’s worth of material, if you just wanted to put together all of their covers on a disc for yourself.

[That would be: Stars from ‘Unleashed Memories’ Enjoy the Silence from ‘Karmacode’ Losing My Religion from ‘Dark Adrenaline’ and now Live to Tell from ‘Delirium’]

And that’s every other album folks.

Lacuna has been rocking us for 8 solid fucking albums.  That’s amazing man.  They’ve had a lull here and there in their career, maybe.  But they are still Very on top of their game.  And I’m definitely just as into them as I was when I was a teenage boy.

It’s a shame that this review took such a long time to do, but I’m glad I was in the mood to give this one a spin and a critique today.

Now my Lacuna Coil queue is done for the moment, and I’m very much looking forward to whenever the next album comes out.  [They can take their time. lol]