#uhauling like crazy lmfao

[glesbianupland]

gap the series is just uhaul the series monsam is already married??????????? like gft ig but damnnnnnn this series is giving my neck whiplash

[settled-heart]

Deleted Scenes - 9/17/23

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

we first met at a bar near my house that had a dance floor and decent-leaning-bad drinks. i liked them from the bit we talked but didn’t get much of an impression since we got siloed into our own convos. i talked to some guy that didn’t really like me who worked at paramount or sth like that and had a boring convo about his upcoming merger

they asked our joint friend for my letterboxd, and when they couldn’t talk to me on it they asked for my phone number. i thought it seemed like a sweet eagerness asking for each like a day after eachother, but later learned they really just wanted to talk about my top 4 movies LMFAO

we saw weird parallels

our usernames were our names + 7/8

our birthdays we thought were identical bc of the mutual friend misinforming us (we are two days apart)

even our two other signs we thought were identical (later learned i’m not double libra, i’m double virgo) we’d find some more but i can’t remember them much now

we talked a lot and planned a date. for our first we spent two days together and i grew impossibly attached. i liked everything about them, mostly their kindness and our ease in speaking. i never felt so comfortable talking to someone besides with one of my closest friends, and never felt like i was understood so easily by another

soon we kind of uhauled and would work from home two days a week together, mostly sharing the afternoons together although sharing lunch and seeing them passively through the day felt like a gift. we would watch movies, game, try restaurants, etc. interfacing w/ the world felt so painted with them

my attachment grew and i couldn’t understand it’s intensity since it seemed so sudden, i think it was largely the amount of time we spent together over a short stretch even if i’d like to think otherwise for the romance of it, but i was completely in love

i’ll skip the late-middle and end because i’ve thought about it enough, but after a few months they broke up with me. it felt devastating and sudden but i tried to trust them in saying that it was a matter of circumstance since they were having difficulties

i spent a year in avoidance and let myself wither in what i thought could be stasis, rejecting that i can’t just pause, smoking and watching movies or gaming in every free moment. i was social, but only hyper social, it was hard to be sincere without feeling like i was crazy for still feeling sad, and that only got worse as time passed and it felt increasingly unreasonable to think of it at all. it wasn’t consistent, there were stretches where it felt like it honestly passed, only for random things to send me into a spiral again

i haven’t smoked for a few weeks and im spending more and more time with people i love. the fall is here, without practice the anniversaries pass and become nothing. a malicious dream comes to show me how much i still care for them, but i write it out and feel out the melancholy, it goes a bit more quickly each time

everybody’s gotta learn some time