#uh oh spaghetti o's

[timeclipsed]

@run-muse-dot-exe asked: [ clutch ] you know, boy, you could make quite the killing were you to put those skills of yours towards... less philanthropic means. catching my drift?

— ;; PIQUED, LOFTY EARS PRICK UPRIGHT behind the magazine keeping visual attention at the peculiar outsider's pitch. Gradually, the broadside is lowered, as airily-propped legs slump off the desk separating them, replaced with his upper body weight leaning in.

❝You have my attention. Go on.❞

[ozimagines]

See? I can do it too.

Miguel was having his usual shit day. He’d almost gotten over being shanked and now it was around every corner. Morales’ words of warning to Chico did not go heeded; he fucked with Miguel as often as usual.

Today, Miguel needed a little peace and quiet. He headed to the library, accompanied by some guard whose name he could t bother to know. He rounded a corner and out of the corner of his eye saw movement. The hack was gone. Shit.

“Hola, Miguel.”

Miguel rolled his eyes.

“Chico.” He acknowledged. Chico smirked with an unearned confidence that made Miguel feral with anger. He saw the glint of a blunt shank in his hands. Fuck. All he wanted to do was read a damn book.

“So this is what we’re doing now?” Miguel asked tiredly. “No days off from your bullshit, huh?”

“You’ll have plenty of days off in the ground.” He chuckled at his own wit before adding stupidly, “because you’ll-“

“Uh huh, ‘cause I’ll be dead, yeah?” Miguel finished, rubbing his temples. So this rocket scientist was his arch nemesis?

Chico blushed in anger and embarrassment before flexing the shank in his hands. He rushed at Miguel in an instant, but Miguel was ready, already pushing back with all his force, wrenching the shank out of Chico’s hands and clattering to the ground. They tussled for a few moments before Chico swept his leg and pushed him into a wall, hand around his throat, throttling him and his other hand scratching at Miguel’s skin until there were red lines down his exposed arms. Miguel was pushing back but the hand around his throat tightened as the pressure continued. His head felt like it was about to explode when-

“Holy shit, dude, are you hard?”

Chico’s hand dropped Miguel and sent him to the floor. His words didn’t even register with Miguel until a few moments of gasping for air. He looked down at his pants, significantly tighter than they were moments earlier. His face went from blue to red in an instant as he fumbled with his trousers.

Chico didn’t know what to fucking think. Here he was, trying to kill his rival, and the bastard was hard as a rock. The fuck was that supposed to mean? He was looking at Miguel like an alien when suddenly his face split into a cocky smile.

“Oye, pendejo, I didn’t know you swung like that.” He cackled a sharp laugh that brought out a nerve in Miguel’s forehead. His heart was racing. Chico was going to tell everyone he was a fag. Was he a fag? No denying the Eiffel Tower in his pants. This was bad. Half of Oz wanted to kill him so at lead a few would want to fuck him. His mind was racing.

“No no, Miguelito, I’m flattered, really. You have taste, I’ll say that.” Chico continued his boisterous laughter that enraged Miguel so violently.

“Tell you what, chula, I’ll let you suck my cock for free. How ‘bout that, sweetie?”

Miguel was seeing red. The world was disappearing around him.

“I’ll even let you call me papi-“

Miguel slammed into Chico and knocked the wind out of him when they hit the wall. He tried catching his breath but it was stolen from him when Miguel trapped him in a passionate kiss, prying Chico’s mouth open with is tongue. Miguel pressed his leg between Chico’s, grinding his own cock into the man. Chico was breathless. Miguel’s hands were raking over his body, down his abdomen, inches from his boxers. The heat of Miguel’s tongue burned him to his core. It sounded faggy, but Guerra got weak in the knees, body turning to jelly under his enemy’s touch. Miguel softened the kiss, running a hand up Chico’s jaw and through his jet black hair. He pulled a centimeter away, and pecked again softly, relishing the look of confusion and arousal carved on Guerra’s face. He took his hands away slowly, leaning into Chico’s ear, making sure to nip at it a little first.

“Look down, dick.”

Chico furrowed his brow in confusion and Alvarez pulled back and began to walk away. Chico’s eyes darted down and lo and behold, Chico was pitching an absolute monster of a boner. Thing was at full tilt. His face burned red and his heart palpitated as he looked toward the end of the hallway where Miguel was walking. Before he rounded the corner to the library, he called out.

“See? I can do it too.”

[freckliephil]

.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

So many moments from Secret Life burned into my memory ready to be quoted at a moments notice

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Warning...uhhh, just me venting and ranting about shit. Come back later if you don't wanna deal with this shit.

Man. Never realized how plan and boring I am. I don't do drugs or smoke or drink. I'm not funny, I think only my friends laugh at me because they pity me or something. I don't have many things in common with people or I just never know what to talk about because my life isn't anything crazy or exciting. I'm just a plan, boring, ordinary girl who goes to high school.

I like boring things like reading and I write with punctuation and capital letters. I correct spelling mistakes that I've made. I...I'm boring. I'm so boring. And my friends drift away from me because I never know what to talk about after having a few conversations and then silence. I'm not fun and I'm scared of many things. I can't even ride a fucking bike.

I'm a loser. And it's all I am. I'm trapped in my own world, I like things others don't or I just come off as weird and loud. I'm not funny enough to make people just want to come up to me. I've been the butt of a joke all because of how I make myself look or just my looks in general. I've been harassed by boys my age or maybe even a little older all because I'm just a quiet little Emo who always wears her headphones around. I've been made fun of just because. Guys pretend to be friendly to me, say their friend called me pretty and want my number, etc.

I'm fucking tired. Because that's me. The Sam here is not as great as y'all probably think she is. Or is as funny. Or as cool. Or anything.

I'm not cool.

I'm just a boring loser who likes literature. Who doesn't like rollercoasters. Who can't even ride a damn bike. Who...is just boring.

...

Anyways, here's Wonderwall–

[djsouled]

It had been a rough day. Her entire form was tired, and even her extrovert self seemed to be oversocialized. So, she'd unintentionally started to sign in JSL.

'Have you eaten yet? I was going to make something to eat, and I tend to make too much food for just one person. If you have anything specific, I'm happy to try it.'

it had definitely been a long day, lots of talking to the media and reporters and fans and god he was getting a little sick of it all, quite frankly. and that in of itself was surprising to him after the initial jolt of a realization ; something creeping into the back of his mind like a hand clasping the back of his head.

he's thankful for the kinder presence around him now, a sort of breath of fresh air in the middle of all the suffocating pressure. he found himself sighing all that pent-up energy out, shoulders almost giving a little sag as he was given the golden opportunity to come back to the language that felt like home.

hizashi lets a smaller, earnest smile decorate his face instead of the same old ear-to-ear one he so commonly adorned. there was an easier way about him now. hands move a little less animatedly, but fonder all the same.

' all i had were those two cups of coffee earlier. what do you have in mind? '

@pluviacuratio.

[mnemosyne-xiv]

👏 HE 👏 DID 👏 NOTHING 👏 WRONG 👏

[feyarchived]

no writing from me tonight because i am Full, but i am gonna see if i can get back into my book and read instead of falling asleep at 5:30 wish me luck

[potatoesandsunshine]

just trust me... i'm so right about this one...

everything will be fine as long as they keep Not Talking About This

[borbygorlinbbqworld]

The SIL

---

It had been a long time since you'd seen your older brother and his much younger wife. They had moved to some nice house in the suburbs after they got married while you stayed behind in a crappy apartment.

She had always been way too good for him. Born a jackass, his only requirements for a wife was someone hot, and someone who did everything for him.

Not only was she the perfect little domesticated housewife, but she was a stunner. Brilliant smile, lustful hazel eyes, long auburn hair... and a huge fucking rack. The first time you met her, you were positive they had to be implants, but after having watched how much they bounced and jiggled when she walked, you realized she had just been blessed by the gods.

Your brother was super fucking lucky.

So once you'd heard he had walked out on her just as she'd delivered twins, you knew it was the right thing to do to check up on her and her babies.

Your brother was an ass for getting her pregnant and then leaving. The least you could to do help put was bring some food over, maybe help out a bit and let Anna know not all men were garbage.

So, casserole in hand, you rang the doorbell.

You heard footsteps at the door, then the sound of someone moving the eye hole to peer through.

"Jack?!"

She opened the door, looking a little embarrassed, and your jaw nearly fell to the floor.

Pregnancy had been extremely kind to Anna. Her breasts appeared to have nearly doubled in size, stretching out the tiny spaghetti strap tank top to the max. The outline of fat, juicy areolas and hard nipples were tantalizing through the near see-through fabric.

She tugged at the shirt, doing her best to keep herself as covered as possible despite spilling out the front and sides of the tank top. "I'm so sorry, I... I wasn't really expecting anyone..."

"It's okay!" You managed to choke the words out, but ripping your eyes away from her massive tits was more impressive. You held up the casserole. "I brought food for you guys."

"Oh my goodness, you're so sweet!" She nearly looked ready to cry. She took you by the hand and led you into the house. "Come on in."

Each step made her nipples bounce and sway despite her top being so tight against her breasts.

She must have been so full of milk...

"So uh... twins, huh? How's that been?" You swallowed hard, sneaking another look at her giant mammaries. Your dick twitched at you noticed small damp spots form at her nipples. "They must be hungry kids..."

"Quadruplets, actually." She put a hand to her breast, checking for milk as more started leaking through her shirt. "And honestly, not hungry enough. I just put them down for a nap after a huge feed, but I... I'm still so engorged... "

Four.

Four kids, this woman was feeding, and she was still leaking from being too full! Your mouth went dry; what you wouldn't give to be able to suck each of those things dry as you fucked her...

You watched as she pulled out her breast pump and pushed a button on it. "Crap... battery still hasn't finished charging..."

She blushed as the damp spots on her shirt started to drip onto the floor. "O-Oh..."

One little squeeze.

That's all it would take. One little squeeze of her swollen breasts, and her milk would have sprayed all over your face and tasted so good...

"I started selling my milk online," she continued. "I had to. Nowhere to store it when you make so fucking much every day..."

"H-How much?"

"Well, after my babies eat, the excess is about..." She trailed off, looking embarrassed. Wincing, she felt her other breast, causing a little to squirt through her shirt. Helplessly, she looked up at you. "About a gallon per breast."

You could have melted.

This woman was a fertility goddess, able to feed four babies, and God only knew how many else with her excess. But she was your sister in law; it would have been totally wrong to do the things you wanted with her.

And there were so many things you wanted... She might have only given birth a short while ago, but she exuded hormones that you knew begged for you to get her pregnant again.

She was in absolute heat, and your body couldn't stop picking up on it.

And if you did try anything... How many times would she let you thrust and put your seed in her as her breasts bounced back and forth? Would her tits get so full of milk it would immobilize her?

With how big they had swollen to in this pregnancy, she wasn't all that far off.

"A gallon, huh?"

She nodded, her breasts jiggling along with her. "And they're just so heavy all the time..." She turned her back to you and backed up. Even from behind, their large masses poked out the sides of her silhouette. "Lift them up for me?"

Your dick throbbed. She was asking you to touch her tits... No. Her voice was a whine, and she was practically begging you to touch them.

You obliged, and hoisted her heavy breasts into your hands. Immediately, she let out a sigh of relief; they felt incredibly heavy as you lifted them up and down, milk sloshing within the confines of her tight skin. Your thumbs rubbed the sides of her flesh, feeling out her glands until your hands were damped by her warm milk. It had streamed down from her teats, which looked even more prominent than before as you looked over her shoulder. Throbbing blue veins darkened her otherwise porcelain flesh.

She must have been super fucking full, ready to burst...

Before you knew what was happening, she spun around and pushed your shoulders downward, forcing you to your knees. The shirt that had already barely fit her to begin with looked like she had grown out of it before your eyes as her milk stretched her engorged tits. She struggled to lift it up and over her breasts, but she managed.

It left you face to face with massive dripping mammaries as you salivated and soaked your boxers with precum.

Biting her lip, she looked down at you in desperation. She leaned forward just enough so her nipple was a mere bredth away from your bottom lip. "Please...?"

You kissed it gently, causing her to let out a soft moan and a spurt of milk. Before you could continue teasing her, she shoved her teat into your mouth.

Immediately, your mouth filled with the sweet milk, and some dribbled down your chin. Rubbing your tongue against her swollen nipple made her cry out again, releasing more sweetness for you to feast upon. And feast you did; sucking, slurping, swallowing, her supply never seemed to end.

You switched breasts, releasing her fat teat with a resounding pop before latching onto the next. You slid your arm between her legs to get a decent balance, and that was when you noticed how wet Anna had gotten.

She rubbed herself against your arm, letting out soft moans. Not only did she need to be milked, but this woman was fucking horny! It only made your cock feel harder, and much more difficult to ignore.

Her body wanted more babies to feed, and by God, you were going to keep fucking her until she had at least twenty.

How the hell did your brother give that up?

---

🐮❤️

[w2soneshots]

Hey there can you please do something like y/n (also a YouTuber and she’s a very nice a sweet girl )y/n and Harry r dating and living together and Harry is doing one of those videos he does with Stephen,Chris and Will and maybe it’s just like she’s kind of in the background and cute little moments of her being in the video.

Lockdown -W2S

words: 0.6k+

warnings: none.

summary: you and Harry spend an average day in lockdown together.

notes: thank you so much for your request my love! I hope I did it justice💝🫶🏼

Liked by tobjizzle and 349,120 others

y/username: good morning🌅 @wroetoshaw

-comments-

freyanightingale: morning beautiful💞

-> y/username: 🫶

y/nfanpage21: you're both practically matching🥺

user81910592: what's Harry filming??

I've been with Harry for around a year. We got together just before January 2020, and when covid hit Harry asked if I'd move into his apartment with him. We spent all of the first lockdown together and became even closer, due to spending every day practicing trapped in his room. When September rolled around constrictions were being lifted but we were still spending a lot of time inside.

Harry, Chris, Will and Stephen have recently started doing group videos on YouTube. I've been in the background of lots of them but usually go into the living room (when Cal isn't doing something in there) and watch tv. Today they're filming "Ranking the top 10 YouTube videos of all time".

"I'm gonna start filming in a sec, are you gonna stay?" Harry asked, his keyboard clicking. "Mhm," I hummed "I'm just gonna put my AirPods in." I said. "Ok." He glanced at me with a smile. "Alright boys!" He said loudly to the computer, a few minutes later. After around ten minutes Harry said my name "y/n?" "Yea?" I said pushing myself up from the mattress to lean on my elbows. "Can you quickly react to this," he pointed to the screen "for the video?" He asked. I nodded "sure." I got up from the bed and Harry moved his chair back so I could sit on his lap. "Here." He said passing me his headset. I put it on and immediately the boys said hello.

I reacted to the video with a loud laugh as I leaned back into Harry. Then I said a quick goodbye and passed the headphones back to Harry. I sat back down on the bed while Harry finished the video, which seemed to be taking a lifetime.

Once he was finally done he plopped down on the bed. I took my earphones out and smiled at him. He smiled back "I'm gonna get in the shower, wanna join?" I raised my eyebrows then giggled "yes, yes I do." I said and we both got up off the bed. As we stepped into his bathroom we stripped our clothes off.

After we finished "showering" we dried ourselves off, got changed and headed into the kitchen to get some dinner. "You alright there Cal?" I asked the man stood looking at the oven with a confused look on his face. He looked toward both me and Harry "uh- yea, I just can't figure out how to turn this on." He said. I laughed "you've been in this apartment for over a year and you still can't turn the oven on?" "I haven't needed to use it, we've got an air fryer ya know!" He exclaimed. Harry chuckled "just press," he stepped forward to point to one of the buttons "that one mate." He said. Freezy nodded "oh, thanks."

Cal took his food to his room and me and Harry began making some simple, quick spaghetti bolognaise. "Mmm, this is just what I needed." I said taking another bite of the pasta. "Yea, this is bangin." He said with a quiet hum of satisfaction.

We cleaned up and headed back to Harry's room. We sat on the bed and Harry began scrolling through his phone while I tried to decide what movie I wanted to watch on his large tv. Harry hates anything that isn't a documentary or based on a true story, he thinks it's pointless watching fiction because you don't actually learn anything. Which I understand so usually while I watch something Harry will sit with me, but doesn't actually pay any attention.

I lay with my head leaning comfortably on Harry's chest, our legs slightly intertwined and his arm wrapped tightly around me. Just before the movie finished I drifted off into a deep sleep, lulled by the sound of Harry's heartbeat and the calming sound of his breathing.

[vanfleeter]

Performance Sheets

Summary: Jake misunderstood what performance sheets actually were when he buys them from the store. (Small smut piece) Characters: Jake Kiszka x Fem!Reader Word count: 1,755k Warnings: 18+ || Language. Adult themes. Smoking. Smut. Nudity. Unprotected, penetrative sex. Slight strip tease. Smacking kink?? (is that a thing?) Oral sex. (if I missed anything, please let me know so I can add it) A/N: No tags since it's a small piece.

❌❌❌❌

Hearing the front door opening, you peer around the corner of the kitchen threshold to see Jake stumbling through the door with grocery bags hanging on each arm and he’s kicking a couple more with his feet. Dropping the dish towel, you quickly make your way to him and pick up the bags from the floor. He utters a breathy ‘thank you’ as he follows behind you to the kitchen.

“What did you buy?” You ask as he dumps the bags onto the kitchen island. “The whole store?”

“Pretty much,” He huffs. “We’re practically bone dry in this house.”

“Well, we have been gone for six months,” You say as you start to put away some of the groceries. The two of you dip and dodge around each other for the next twenty minutes putting the groceries away.

“Oh!” Jake randomly exclaims as he picks up a bag that had fallen to the floor. “I found these in the home section.” He pulls out a pack of sheets from the bag and holds them out for you to see.

“Performance sheets? Jake, we don’t need those.” You say as you put away the last can of spaghetti-o’s in the pantry. “We have many sets of sheets.”

“But not performance sheets.” He empathizes as he sets them on the counter.

“Jake, honey, do you even know what performance sheets are for?” You ask, leaning on the island counter.

“Per..for..ming sheets?” He says slowly. “As in you “perform” on them?”

“Oh honey no,” You giggle while shaking your head. “They help to regulate body temperature and keep you comfortable while you sleep.”

Jake’s eyebrows furrow and he leans on the counter. “So they aren’t for…” You shake your head and he huffs. “Which means I spent sixty dollars on this for nothing?”

“Sixty? Jake..”

“What?!” He exclaims. “I thought they were–”

“Why in the world would Target sell sex enhancing sheets?” You continue to giggle.

Jake shrugs his shoulders. “Do you know who does?”

“Jacob..”

He simply laughs and grabs the sheets in both hands before tossing it up into the air and catching them when they fall. He smirks at you and wags his eyebrows. “Shall we change the meaning of performance sheets?”

“If you put them on, I will gladly fulfill your request.”

“Aw thanks baby,” He says as he kisses you. “Give me twenty minutes tops and then you are all mine.”

“When am I not?” He shoots you a wink before dashing out of the kitchen and running upstairs to the bedroom.

–

Twenty minutes tick by and you hear him calling for you from upstairs. Putting the last of the dishes away in the dishwasher, you close the door and press the start button before making your way upstairs. When you step into the bedroom, you’re suddenly taken aback as you find him laying out on the bed on his back, fully naked and propped up on the pillows with his legs crossed at his ankles. He’s got a blunt in his mouth that he’s trying to light, his focus solely on that. So when he finally looks up, he sees you standing in the bedroom door with your mouth hanging open. A lazy smile spreads across his face as he holds the blunt between his teeth.

“Enjoying the view?” He asks, pulling you from your trance. He chuckles when you only nod your head. You start to take a step forward when he stops you. “Uh uh.. You know the rules..” He says before tossing the lighter over onto the nightstand and taking a drag from the blunt.

You fight the urge to roll your eyes because you wanted him to undress you. So you stand there at the end of the bed and start to remove articles of clothing from your body. His eyes watch every single movement and you could see him swallow as his eyes lock with yours. You know he’s struggling to hold himself back so you take your sweet time dragging your underwear down your legs. His mouth drops slightly open, the blunt sticking to his dry lips.

Straightening back up, you reach your hands behind your back and unhook your bra. The relief from the uncomfortable under garment makes you moan, dropping your head back.

“Fuck..” You hear him mutter.

Dropping your bra to the floor, you swing your knee up onto the bed and hoist yourself up. You crawl across the bed and straddle his waist once you make it to him. His hands immediately find their rightful place on your ass. You take the blunt from his mouth and take a drag before giving it back to him. He reaches for it to take a drag before reaching over to the side and setting it on the tray on the nightstand.

“You look so beautiful,” He says as he squeezes your ass. “Are you ready to put on a show?” You nod your head and he draws you in for a kiss. Without breaking the kiss, you lift your body upwards and reach between you two to line him up with your entrance. You slowly sink back down, completely enveloping him inside of you.

You both moan into each other’s mouth and he squeezes you even tighter. Slowly you begin moving your hips and pulling away from his kiss. Your hands come to rest on his chest to keep yourself steady and you start to pick up your pace just a little.

“That’s it, baby..” He says.

He lets you ride him for a few minutes longer before he’s changing positions. He keeps you on him as he wraps his arms around you and moves to sit on his knees. He spreads them open allowing him to be seated comfortably with you still on his lap. He keeps his arms wrapped around you to hold you in place and he thrusts his hips forward, fucking himself into you as you sink right back down on top of him. He connects to you with each thrust of his hips.

“Are you enjoying this?” You ask, clearly out of breath already.

“Most definitely, baby..” He says.

Starting to feel his thighs cramping, he quickly changes positions again, laying you on your back, your head facing the end of the bed. He rests still between your legs and straightens them out.

“Sorry..” He groans. “Started to cramp.” You can't help but to giggle and he pauses. “Are you laughing at me?”

“You just sound like an old man.” You giggle again and he thrusts himself roughly inside of you, making you gasp yet moan at the same time.

“I didn’t know you had a thing for an old man..”

“Jacob Thomas, I do not!” You say, reaching behind him to smack his ass.

“Oh baby, don't do that..” He says.

“Did that feel good?” You ask.

He nods his head and fucks into you again. “Do it again?”

“Oh?” This you were not expecting.

“Please baby, do it again.”

You slap your palm against his ass again and he moans as he thrusts inside of you again. He buries his face on the crook of your neck as he moves a little faster. He’s sure there will be a red handprint on his ass but he doesn’t care, the feeling it gives him is like euphoria.

Before either of you even reach your orgasms, he’s pulling out of you and leaning back on his knees. He pulls you onto his lap again but makes you face the end of the bed. He doesn’t waste time pushing himself back inside you and beginning again. You cry out his name when he shoves himself so deep that he’s hitting your cervix. There is some pain but the pleasure of him rubbing against your walls is far greater.

You can feel yourself coming closer and closer to your orgasm as he continues his relentless speed. Your walls clench around him and he groans, his fingers digging into your hips.

He’s never had you in this position before but it’s definitely becoming one of your favorites. And he knows your favorite positions. You can feel his hands glide up your sides before he’s cupping both of your breasts. The stimulation from him twisting your nipples combined with his thrusts is enough to send you crashing into your orgasm. He holds you against his chest and he stills himself inside of you to feel you spill all over him.

Once you have relaxed and come down from your orgasm, you carefully climb off of him and lay out on the bed. He chuckles and leans down to kiss you.

“You did so good for me.” He says as he begins to trail more down your body.

“You’re still going?”

“These are performance sheets.” He says with a wink.

Gently he spreads your legs and leans in to lick up all of the release that still drips out of you. You shudder when you feel his tongue lick over your sensitive clit but he pins your hips to the bed to keep you still while he still licks you clean. Once he is finished, he crawls back over top of you and presses his lips against yours in a passionate kiss. He’s still very much hard, his length rubbing against the inside of your thigh.

“Want to try a new position?” He asks when he pulls away.

“Jacob Thomas, what has gotten into you?”

“Changing the definition of performance sheets, darling..” He smirks. “Plus I did a little research while I changed the sheets.”

“Alright, and what do you have in mind?”

“The eagle position.” He says. “How far back can you bend your legs?”

–

When he finally orgasms, he pulls out of you and moves his arms allowing your legs to drop back to the bed. Both of you are completely spent and covered in sweat. He kisses you before rolling off of you and onto his back beside you.

Your heart races in your heart, the thrumming of it is the only sound that you hear. Turning into his side, he props himself up on his elbow, resting his head in his hand.

“So.. How did I do?” He asks. “Did I perform well?”

You laugh, making him smile. “You definitely gave performance sheets a whole new meaning..” You tell him. “I’m going to need a day or two to recover.”

“I can just see the standing ovation..” He jokes, laughing again when he sees you roll your eyes.

[someones-here-for-sure]

CRISIS NOT AVERTED I’M FUCKED!!!!!

CRISIS

[avaleigh16]

Ghost: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Soap: >:O language

Y/n: Yeah watch your fucking language

Kyle: OKAY WHO TAUGHT Y/N THE FUCK WORD?

Rudy: 'The fuck word'.

Alejandro: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Y/n: Oh my god they censored it

Rudy: Say fuck, Alejandro.

Y/n: Do it, Alejandro. Say fuck.

❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇

Soap: Rules are made to be broken.

Price: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Y/n: Uh, piñatas.

Kyle: Glow sticks.

Rudy: Karate boards.

Alejandro: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Ghost: Rules.

Soap: Y/n.

Y/n:

Price:

❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇❇

Ghost: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Soap: Okay, but what is updog?

Y/n: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Kyle: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Rudy: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Alejandro: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Ghost: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Kyle: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Y/n: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Soap: What’s a henway??

Ghost: Oh, about five pounds.

[theclosetcreature]

He's in a bit of an uh oh spaghetti-o situation

[sansssins]

Essek: I'm breaking up with you.

Caleb: Is it because I say Uh Oh Spaghetti O's when things go wrong?

Essek: Yes.

Caleb: (under breath) Uh Oh Spaghetti O's