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genderfreezone · 5 years

Note

Do you like the Evil Within 2?

Yeah! Certainly not as much as the first one (i was not immune to being sad they left out fan favorites Jojo and Ruvik's Cube)

The rest of this post is me rambling about things i didnt like about the game, and then things i did like (most of my issues are how they treat the female characters tbh)

Its missing kind of the action-noir-gone-horrifically-wrong feel of the first game. The scare factor also suffers bc our player character has been through this before, hes a veteran at dealing with this crazy shit, it doesnt phase him anymore and by extension it doesnt phase the player. They really like tripled down on the Evil Corporation thing and both the intrigue and horror suffer for it.

This game did not drink its respect women juice (the first one didnt really either, case in point: Everything About Kidman) Sebastian is surrounded by 5+ female characters and only 2 of them survive (and one of them is his 7 year old daughter hes spent the whole game trying to rescue... and yet they never bothered to give her any kind of characterization or agency. A highly empathetic and supernaturally powerful little girl in a monster-infested hellscape?? HELLO???? Lily really had the potential to be the most interesting, sympathetic, and complex character--especially as she slowly lost her innocence--in the WHOLE GAME, but she was just sort of relegated to Plot Device McGuffin) The rest of the female supporting cast are killed off for Sebastian's Man Pain. In fact, THIS ENTIRE GAME IS CENTERED AROUND SEBASTIAN'S MAN PAIN. Torrez is a walking stereotype, shes literally just Vasquez from Aliens. Hoffman was the most likeable and believeable, except when it Turns Out She Was In Love With Liam Or Whatever (psst, guess what, i dont care. Also O'neal was kind of a dick anyway? I dont care x2)

And you know who i SUPER dont care about? Bland-White-Bread-And-Mayo-Sandwich Myra. Where's the no-nonsense firecracker of a police lieutenant Sebastian married? Not here, thats for sure. Her entire personality is "mother" and "worries about stressed-out husband". We got more characterization of Myra in seb's jornals from the first game, where she never even made a physical appearance! Horror media does this SO MUCH, women are either A. Sexy Lamp B. Hurts Men (Sexily) C. Mother or D. Innocent Virgin. It sucks. Do better.

The story lacked the "digging up old buried memories" and "theres more to this than meets the eye" of the first game. It felt too...... Straightforward. Everyone told Sebastian the truth. EVERYTHING WAS EXACTLY WHAT IT SEEMED. It all felt too simple, too easy, like there SHOULDVE been something else beneath the surface. And yet there wasnt. (I watched markipliers playthrough and i loved his theory that Kidman was actually Lily. It had such potential. Kidman's entire resume for the police station was fabricated, who's to say the rest of her past wasnt fabricated as well? It would retcon a lot of stuff and like 80% of her backstory from the DLC, but you know games like this arent above retconning important shit, and at least it wouldve been sacrificed for something with actual intrigue. Maybe it wouldnt even retcon anything! Consider: tiny Lily is taken by Evil Corporation and dropped off in a non-nurturing environment that would lead her to become the kind of person who would willingly join & work for an organization like Mobius. At least wouldve been a nice excuse for why Kidman and Lilys face models looked so similar... other than... yknow.... "WomEN ARe hArD tO DRaWwwwwee")

Okay okay ive been ranting for long enough. It probably makes it sound like i kinda hate this game, but i dont! It certainly doesnt hold the same place in my heart as the first one (which i still have very glaring issues with lmao Kidman deserved WAAAAAAY better), but i do like it! It brings back salty, grizzled, tsundere Sebastian Castinellos. It brings back spooky monsters that kill you dead. It brings back having a fun theatrical over-the-top villain who takes himself a litte too seriously.

I love Stefano. Probably not in the way some other fans do, but i love him as a ridiculous theatrical over-the-top villain. He sucks! And i love that he sucks! I love him BECAUSE he sucks! Hes terrible and exaggerated and completely up his own ass and ITS GREAT. He isnt as ACTUALLY THREATENING as Ruvik was (even in his bad assassin's creed cosplay. I could go on and on and on about why Ruvik is simultaneously a ridiculous AND frightening antagonist and how much i love it but uh..... maybe later) but hes such a FUN villain! Hes the kind of pretentious art snob shitheel i cannot STAND irl, but in this game i LOVE to HATE him. Hes just SO over-the-top you kinda wonder if he actually subscribes to the pretentiousness he spouts, or if hes just being Exceptionally Extra.

The other villains? Theodore was.... forgettable. His monsters were forgettable. (Its like how i completely forgot that Frank Manera was a character in Whistleblower for like... 5 years lmao i guess this game also kinda followed that "having multiple named/characterized antagonists in one game" thing that Outlast did) Myra, i just didnt care. Her final design was kinda cool, i liked the red clusters of insect eyes. Her monsters werent really gross enough to be memorable. The only reson theyre gross at all is bc they kinda look like theyre made of semen. (I checked the wiki and apparently Myra's white goo is "psychoplasm" and her monsters lost 99% of their gross factor. I just dont care.) The Administrator literally just looked like a 3D human model of Maxwell from dont starve, and i have to laugh every time i see him. Hes not terribly threatening, all he does is threaten characters to work faster and doesnt actually follow through on those threats. He doesnt even make fun threats like HABIT or anything. He thinks hes so powerful and ominous that his mere presence will frighten the player but hes just kinda all bark and no bite. Hes The Big Bad Company Man so you know hes gonna get whats coming to him, and you know Kidmans gonna be the one to do it to him, so hes not even that much of a threat. Hes whatever.

Stefano definitely got all of the coolest monsters. Many Arms Buzzsaw Lady was terrifying and i love her. And OBSCURA was just *Chef's Kiss* Anima was cool, she kinda looked like a mix of Laura and Samara. The Harbingers were neat, but really only bc ive got a thing for gas masks. The rest of the monsters werent really unique or weighty/threatening enough to be memorable. Now the first game is a fucking TREASURE TROVE of unique monsters *muah* you got Sadist, Sentinel, Keeper, Amalgam, Heresy, Laura, Shigyo, the Twins, Alter Egos, and im probably forgetting some!! But holy FUCK!!!!! And if we're includong the DLC?? MOTHER FUCKING SHADE. SPOTLIGHT LADY. LIGHT WOMAN. SEXY LEGS. Whatever you call her, i fucking love her. Her design is so simple. Helmet. Sheet. Legs. Her voice? Unnerving as hell. Love it. (Also i just personally love the diving helmet. Also like you know how a lot of games have a spotlight mechanic where you have to avoid the light and if it lands on you, you're fucked? LET'S MAKE AN ENTIRE MONSTER OUT OF THAT. She's PERFECT.) Oh and also those weird crawling exploding dudes. They made gross sounds and it was great. (Tbh Keepers still probably my favorite, if only for horny reasons)

TATIANA HOW HAVE I NOT FUCKING TALKED ABOUT TATIANA. Shes like the ONE female character that i fucking LOVE in the sequel. I love how they finally gave her a personality, and that personality is literally just "fuck you, Sebastian" Oh GOD its great shes SO FUNNY. I just.... god i love Tatiana lmao. I love how she makes you kinda uncomfortable too, like she knows something, but she wont tell you bc youre stupid. I didn't like the kind of "all-knowing guide" thing they did to try and make her creepy (like she's a "guide" but then also turns around and is like "no i wont tell you what you need to know bc you """have to discover it on your own""" or whatever") it serves no purpose since she never gave you any actual information, and it didn't succeed in making her creepier, all it did was frustrate me. She was at her creepiest when she IMPLIED she was doing something behind the scenes or knew something you didn't know and then didn't elaborate (not REFUSING to elaborate, just... stopping talking and leaving the statement to hang in the air, like the "getting her nails done" and "its been a long time, detective" and the "now what makes you say that" from the first game) and she was at her funniest when she was interacting with Sebastian from the sidelines, her snide little comments and sarcastic clapping cracked me the fuck up. Tatiana not treating Sebastian seriously was a fantastic touch for a game that otherwise would probably take itself so seriously it would double back around to being silly. Without Tatiana, it would've been just another male-centric gun-toting "survival horror" game, and for the most part, it was just that. She was definitely a much-needed source of slightly derisive comedy and a definite high-point for me, even if they didn't so a great job of making her creepy or fulfilling her "purpose."

Oh I also really love the COLORS in TEW2. The first game fell into the trap of having the colors be totally washed out that a lot of horror stuff does, but it also kind of worked for it. Especially with the color pallette of our main villain and how the whole thing was His World. The saturation of the colors in the second game is a breath of fresh air and gorgeous to look at, and you can even see the color motifs of the game change with each new villain: the game starts out with Stephano has lots of blues and purples and dark reds, when Theodore takes over we get bright orange and yellow contrasted with black and brown, and in the climax with Myra the game goes back to having washed out colors and white (and with her villain design? Let's face it: they were kinda just trying to do Ruvik again) We did get portions that were still kind of wahed out whites and greens and greys, but it wasnt the ENTIRE game, even the big blood-and-brains splatterhouse sections of the first game kinda had their colors weirdly muted for that "Horror Aethetic."

In conclusion, i do like the evil within 2, but i also had a lot of problems with it. And i complain about these problems because i like the game and know it couldve done better, tried harder, and been a LOT more than it was (the wasted character potential is my real overarching pet peeve, probably becuase i loved the characters in the first game, and character development is kind of my whole jam) . But all in all, it was still a fun monster-zombie romp with at least one entertaining villain and fun-to-look-at designs and environments. It wasn't character or horror or even REALLY story driven in the way I know it COULDVE been, but i still had a fun time and enjoyed myself.

#long post #875asks #anonymous #the evil within 2 #i couldnt put a readmore on a mobile post so you all have to suffer with me #my paragraph about stefano got cut out so i put it back in lol

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dev-hub4fixfict-ut · 7 years

Text

Know & Determinate: II- the surface and a lame witch; chap 1

/racism, /hate crime, /physical assault, /alcohol, /c slur, /unsanitary, /witchcraft, /panic attack, bad writing. like, really bad. i wrote this when i was in a bs brainspace in highschool to cope.

a self-insert fanfiction where i write what happens after my runs of undertale. written in google docs and idk what im doing. Frisk is 12, use they/them, has a bullshit life, Chara also uses they/them, and is still here, and never meant for all this to happen, they hate each other, and Sans is still, and forever will be, a mess.

_________

here we go with that stuff !! im pumped enough to not collapse of stage anxiety ah ah.

please do not confuse my complicated style for pretentiousness. im but a wordy insecure fool. with a super touchy soft spot for a small fat skeleton. and lots of imagination.

this isn’t something for fontcest and frans shippers and gross ppl who villainize and misgender kids and call gay couples “hawt sin” tho. u guys are uglies and i hate you, go away. ;U

_________

“Sans” i deadpanned.

He perked up a little, his forever-fucking-smiling expression mirroring my tone -with his eyes. Eyes’ sockets. Those were the only hints of what he was actually thinking. Because his fake smile -fake, i’m so sure of it, so fake smile, it only ever dropped when Frisk’s puppeted body struck him down, the very only moment he stopped- wow getting sidetracked. Anyway.

“Sans.” i repeated. i need to repeat myself a lot. Verbal dyspraxia i think. He didn’t seem to know that and squinted a bit more, indication of his annoyance/suspicion/mistrust/wariness. ‘s what his squinting usually means, directed at me. Can’t blame him. “i…” Truth is, i don’t actually know what to tell him. ‘s just. i love him, and i know it sounds crass and misplaced blurted out like this, but as a consequence, i’m worried about him. A lot. Constantly. i hope bpd isn’t blurring my judgement too much. ‘m not sure he does take care of himself as well as he deserve. And look who’s talking, right ? But he is surrounded by loving friends and family. And has his brother. He could get help. Good help.

Damn my hesitance was making him unnerved. I could see it in how he turned to me, bone hands switching in and out of his pockets. I only hugged myself tighter, hands vaguely gesturing.

“i… Could i offer you to crash on my couch sometimes ? Or bed even, i don’t use mine a lot, actually. Since it’s, y’know, closer to a good part of your odd jobs than your house and Papyrus isn’t home then ?” Dang that was weirder out loud. i kept a blank face to show i was serious. i was- the guy looked even more tired than me. Tells something.

“uh. kid, you got something going in the back of your mind ?” Damn he took me too seriously. Squinting hard at me now, he was the perfect studied statue of calm judgement. Damn he was good at those.

“Well, safe from letting you get a good deserved rest more easily, not much !!” i made sure to answer jovially, doing the whole ‘punching the air round and low in excitement’ thing. We could be two playing the happy clown game.

i had found him at Grillby’s, like usual. his food was getting cold. like usual too. what was less usual was the tense manner he held himself when i came in, and how he “straightened” up, like he had forgotten himself, when i greeted him, pat on the shoulder. he would have flinched but he wouldn’t have wanted me onto him about it. so his eye socket had violently twitched -violently as in, noticeably, by his standards, and...uh lost myself again, fuck.

What i mean is that he was having a harsh day, probably after a harsher even night, his ptsd acting up (‘m not supposed to know ‘bout that. He himself doesn’t even know it. i just read. and relate), and i wanted to help him. now, maybe i had been presumptuous thinking i could…

So that’s why i insisted, vigorously,

“And uh-we can watch some trash movies and stuff, anytime, and like you can just stop by during your in-between shifts, even if i’m not home, i’ll give you a spare key and-” sudden stop. oh no. He gave me The Hand.

He indeed did, holding it up, like he wanted me to slow down. i did, obviously, but uh. did that mean i was overwhelming him, or annoying ? Was there a difference ?? Did it matter ???

Not now, because he was talking, and internal anxiety mini attack made me split focus, and i wanted full focus on what he said, on him.

“look kid,” i hate he calls me that “i appreciate whatchu tryin to do here” meh.liar. spill it. “but i can’t accept. paps would be upset if he knew i was squatting-”

“No he wouldn’t !! He would call it ‘GREAT FRIENDLY HANGOUTS OF REST’ and be very happy we uuh spend time together and stuff-”

“ok” glaring at me now, probably pissed i used his bro’s good nature to shot down his excuse. Heh. Two play at that game. “but here’s the thing.” he advanced himself up to me, nearly out of his seat. i held my ground. uh oh. “we a r e n’t f r i e n d s.”

Ouch. i mean i knew this but. Ouch. His eyes hadn’t blacked out on that last part, but nearly, too. Could be that his already hazy eyelights had just dimmed in exasperation but um. That didn’t feel any better. i gulped. Just a little. Just to keep down the new forming clog in my throat. Just a little one. i knew this.

“i know this !! but look, we could be, if we hanged out !” i didn’t dare say more. My eyes stung a lil bit too much for my liking and while never embarrassed by my tears, didn’t want to embarrass him.

‘s not like i was seriously hurt. i knew where we stood, and that my crush was going to stay that, a crush. what really stung was the utter lack of trust and the hatred-like suspicion he had of me. that and also feeling like i’m watching someone drown, but can’t help, because when i reach out they swat me away in fear i would be the one pushing them further. That’s probably more of my saviour complex dramatizing everything, but it’s bad to be helpless when you know someone, and you’re the only one to notice where they’re headed, because they’re great at pretending, but it’s like looking at yourself in a mirror for you. Get me ?

But. That’s fair. We hadn’t started well off. At all. Oh boy we hadn’t…

___

Seems like now would be a good time to make a small recap, uh ? ‘bout how i ended up knowing that dude, falling in love, analysing his mental shit and all that jazz. Yeah.

me, some lame girl who won’t eat for days and forgo sleep just because, who doesn’t shave but my actual hair, doesn’t do makeup, who doesn’t smile when I’m told to and who grins for no apparent reason whenever a new daydream pops up, because i’m kind of stuck in my own head because it’s better in here. because of… trauma crap. i get by by drawing and playing games where i can just save everyone.

i don’t know if you get what i mean. i sorta hope you don’t. Because it hurts. But at the same time it’d be awesome if you did, because y a y let’s relate about crap !

Don’t know if it matters, too.

Could help to get a few friends. But being an asocial, asexual, kinda aromantic mess kinda throws that out of the window. You’d think so many A would get me higher in life eh heh heh heh heeeeeh… not funny. i’m not funny. My life is not funny. The way i react to it can be, though.

Like, that one time i was hanging out on my own, outside the bar i had first entered with classmates, as i tried to be less of a hermit, in a bar street and fled because i can't stand alcoholic jerks, and then saw this crowd of tough guys ejecting a small and stout person in a blue hoodie from said bar by fucking throwing a chair at them through the fucking window, and seeing that this little dude is a monster, and knowing they’re gonna get busted down to a puddle of dust by the mastodont looming over them if nobody intervenes ?

i reacted funny.

---

“Yoo-ou ffffffuking cunt, I-I’m gon’ mash you to the dirt yo motha shitted after getting fucked by yooour d-d-dog of a oold man-”

As he spits the words, an obviously very drunk dude stumbles closer and closer to the monster, his hands shaking like he wants to grip their head and smash it.

Freak it. This son of a bitch may be slurring like he drank the whole city, but he’s for sure all out to kill him ! Get up and run, little dude !

“c’mon man, “fucking cunt” , fun king or earl, it’s still a bit early to speak ‘bout mothers isn’t it?”

[i recognize him]

Pfft- what ? i snort loudly from my spot.

Okay, this is a gloriously bad, stretched pun -but now is not the time for goodness’ sake ! Run, dude, run -wait, is that a skeleton ?!

[i recognize him]

Oh my fuck, how dumb is that dude, going out in a popular bar at what-the-heck-hours in this stupid city ! There were shootings and assassination attempts on the monster gym leader not even two blocks away yesterday ! And you just go in there with a face that screams “LOOK AT ME” ?! Are you stupid or do you just lack of basic preservation instincts ?!

The brute keeps advancing, spouting shit, a sort of gang backing him up, toward mc comicbonedude, a guy i assume, given the voice, but with monsters you never know, gender’s a myth but not them- who’s still on the ground, backtracking, crawling with a grin it didn’t drop the whole time, is it stuck or something and doesn’t look like getting up holy crap he can’t get up, the more hatred a monster is confronted with the hardest it hits he must be low on hp or something he’s gonna get killed

[i recognize him]

mc comicbonedude cracks another joke or is it his ribs cracking under the viscious kick he just got he’s thrown nearer the spot i’m chilling in. Another kick. Nearer. They can't see me, i’m well hidden in the shadows. Another kick.

This time, mc comicbonedude gags out a pun about sole-ution to the problem being-

FUCK OFF!! a gun is being drawn out.

Screw this i’m not witnessing a murder, fucking racists fucking xenophobics fucking city full of fucking shitheads there are other people around here why isn’t anyone but i don’t want to die either that's how it is, eli, always strive for yourself.

i get up fast and sprint to the monster, screaming about cops and a monster attack and insults, anything to spark a bit of panic, deck a scrawny fucker the one who.was.going.to.shoot.him. and aim for the skeleton, who yells.

[i recognize him]

i grab him by the hood and run in some narrower streets, hearing yells after me, and the anxiety is building up a little too much for my usual adrenaline numbing spell to work-

i trip on some trash and my own feet -same difference, fall over, roll, get up that’s how you do it eli, hit and roll, but back on your feet. And keep running, holding the monster close to my chest he’s warm that means he’s still alive and ok, right, left, dodge the you whore you bitch get back here you bitch and the bullets yup i’m good at thiiiiiiis- a bullet still grazes my ankle, I stumble, nearly faceplant, and it hurts but like a sting and I’m still alive. The adrenaline keeps pumping and i feel so light, i sprint into a shabby alley, panting like a dog, i think i’m crying, and drool is mixing with it. i can feel the headache coming, and mc comicbonedude is heavy enough to slip in my arms why won’t he move ? Is he dead ? Is he in shock ?

[i recognize him]

i run to a staircase, you know, the rusty and slippery metal kind outside buildings for fire escape ? Exactly what i need, as the assholes keep firing at me, huh. I climb, to the top, jump to the next building am i really doing this as me for real and run. i don’t know if they’re still after us, my ears won’t stop ringing, and i can’t tell it apart from sirens. I’m on a four stories building running to save a skeleton who

who starts emitting blue and yellow light and what the hell is happening why am i floating holy fuck i’m two inches away to be totally out of not-looking-near-enough-at-all- concrete to fall on.

[i recognize him]

[*focus insufficient]

[*procedure fails]

He’s silent. Sprawled two meters away from where I’m hanging

h-how did i

Looking exhausted and furious, like a cornered dog who has already taken on a tiger in the past, and from his left pupil there’s a cyan blue and yellow flame ? crackling, or bubbling ? or is it just flashing. can’t tell eyes too blurry. and dark blue is surrounding me at my sternum is that monster magic it’s beautiful, did i get headshot i can’t thing straight no. i can’t breath. It’s holding me in place. i can’t breath properly. i try to call out for him, he’s just overreacting in an understandable alarm but

please don’t crunchy crush the goofy girl on the cracking hard ground but when I try, I look at his eyes. One is glowing a fiery but disturbed cyan and yellow, with shards of red here and there, and the other is blank dead. Black. i’m terrified. He pants and that’s the only sound for a while. He’s alive. Good. Am i going to still be alive after this ?

“DON’T DROP ME DON’T WANNA DIE DON’T KILL ME OKAY IT'S THE LAST TIME I’M HELPING OUT ANYONE I PROMISE I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T KILL ME. DUDE PLEASE.”

“wha- ghh- !” He flinches like waking up. He lets go- lets go of meeee-

“AAAAAAAAAH NO !” He gasps and grasps again. i only slipped a meter into nothingness “Oh please please please i really don’t wanna die, and not falling, it looks like suicide i don’t do that i managed not to so don’t spoil it all ok i-”

“what- kid no stop r-”

“SO SORRY DON’T KILL ME DON’T-”

“ kiiiid please” he’s clutching at his skull now.

“PLEASE D-”

“shut. up”

Ok. Not talking.

Whimpering and sobbing a bit, but he better take this because i’m having an anxiety attack and it will escalate into a hyperventilation fit if he doesn't lower me on the ground and I can't calm down.

“Please don’t kill me.” blurts out anyway of my gritted teeth.

A white light bulb alights in his empty eyes socket, and the glow in the other dims. Could he not see me before ? Hey, is that a crack across his skull ? Augh that looks like it s t i n g s.

“ H-hey, there. You- ah, fffuck this hurts. You okay ?” i try.

Nothing. He stares at me, as if watching out for something. I can feel the power around me wavering. He needs to come to his senses before I go kiss the dirt.

“P-please don’t leave me hanging.” He snorts, but keeps scrutinizing me, shaking. ‘s like he’s half understanding the pun, half not there. Silent.

“Woah, that was bad, even for me; guess i’m just that high.” i attempt a feeble finger gun.

He holds back a laugh “pffft- what the hell, kid- oh fuck.” He starts, realizing what i’m hinting at. He drags me back to the ground. i still can't move, but breathing is easier. i whimper again -heck i’m surprised i didn't piss myself- and draw out a looong sigh.

Now we stare at each other awkwardly is not strong enough to cut it. And i observe, that i m may be sweaty, tired and teary, but he looks bad.

His skull is definitely cracked across his left eye, he won’t stop shaking, sweats profusely and seems to have troubles breathing so monsters skeletons breathe and pant. Ok. Do they cry too ? Cuz that weird red stuff oozing from his damaged eye doesn’t look like tears but that can’t be blood… right ?

He looks horrible, if only physically. But the way his eyes sway, with this grin I can’t find the reason for, it worries me more. Is he ... having an episode, or something ? i mean he could be and be totally inoffensive, but ? Was he the one attacking first back at the bar ? is he really having an episode of some sort ? i’m not too nice when i’m having an episode either.

Should i cry for help ? i can't budge from his grasp.

And i know i shouldn’t but i’m feeling an attack coming up- the restraint is triggering my ptsd ridden ass…..

Let me go y-you there c’mon i can’t take this not my shit nuh uh lemme go lemme go lemme go

“ lemme go…” woah not pathetic at all. “Let me go.” no reaction, try again “LET M-” i can’t move my mouth.

The pressure fucktupled, and it’s like my lungs and my muscles are being crushed.

“ok buddy, pal, chum, whoever you are, what the fuck ?”

i can’t answer you, you dumbfuck you just muted me

“i mean, nice save and all. thanks i guess. but who the heck and what on earth are you up to ?” both of his eyes went black oh my god what did i do to your highness Hecate like seriously now how did i end in such a mess.

“H-how about we both calm down first, and talk next ?” i seem to break through the mute. ok good, deep breaths, count backward from ninety to zero, relax, we’re both freaking out, he’s as spooked as you-which is funny cuz he’s the skeleton- focus on breathing.

Still no answer. “Look, i, i get it, bad freak out, i interrupted you back there, i get you’re fucked up-” nothing but his eyes narrowing “ but i’m cool. Swear i am. i’m cold and m’name is uidelsib. you can call me sib ! Cool enough ?”

i extend my hand, ready to give him a strong good ole handshake, but he doesn’t take up on it.

Instead he stays frozen, “Not cool, dude,” hand still extended, but lowered, as if he could grab me again “ r e a l l y not cool,” i insist, and his bones are, he’s. shaking ? Yeah. Shivering violently, like he’s super cold too, which is pretty normal given he’s what. Up with me on a high building, one, two hundred meters in the sky, exposed to the icy wind ? Figures.

His bones are making this clattering clickety sound, stresses me out damn. He’s studying me. But it’s also like he can’t focus. Shivering too much. Shock, probably. His eye socket’s still oozing that red shit. Not thick enough to be blood, and too scarletish, but what do i know ‘bout monsters.

[oh, what do i don’t]

He takes a step toward me.

“ not fucking cool, not in the least-” i let out, jaw still clenched.

His bones rattles one last time, on the cement ground. His knees buckled under him the next moment he moved. His arms couldn’t support him.

i approach him, concerned. Once the pursuit’s adrenaline and the near death experience done with, my mind is settling, and i can think more clearly. He, on the other hand…

He stirs as i come closer. Tries to growl something i can’t decipher, but it comes out as a whimper, pained. My heart constricts in my ribs. Fuck, i hadn’t meant shit to go down like that. i seem to have a talent to fuck up, but i only wanted to help.

i tell him that. He grunts, doesn’t acknowledges me further, and quivers as he tries to stand up. He can’t though. I see it from where i am, he shakes enough to make a dr.pepper bursts.

i snort at the image, a skeleton shaking a bottle fixed on his spine, then flies away with the pressure- w o w i’m gone far. Need a bed. Asap. Concentrate on the situation at hand.

He, though, doesn’t react well to my laughter. He immediately stiffens, and

goes slack. Unmoving on the ground. He fainted ? i go on a hunch and inch closer, on the tip of my toes, hunched over myself, because i can’t tell if he’s dead or if i’m going to be.

[i recogni-- --- [REDACTED]]

i shake my head furiously. i can’t let those thoughts take my attention away from what’s taking place here and now.

i’m close enough now. something like a meter away, i can see him still shivering, and hear him rasp some breaths out. So he can breathe-

[i knew tha- [REDACTED]]

Not Now. i need to focus, i got a seemingly dying monster mere steps away from me.

i crouch down, slowly. My leg muscles burn enough i’m trembling too and i’m pretty sure my teeth are chattering, the noise mingling with his bones against the asphalt.

He’s still face down, arms limp on his sides, and i spy his eyelights peeking at me, way less sharp than when he had me pinned in the air just. one minute ago ?

i creep closer, he tenses, i stop.

“You’re ok.” i whisper. “We’re ok and we’re leaving.” i try to keep my voice from wavering but meh. ‘s not like there’s much face to save, for both of us.

i reach my hand toward him. He doesn’t move. i put it on his back, barely pressing, he tenses. And then disappears with a ping.

[ (*did you think i was going to stay here and t--- -- -) [REDACTED]]

NOT NOW I SAID. GE E. WHERE DID HE Go ?

He’s back right where he was. He basically just blinked in and out of existence. And he’s looking even more exhausted, if that’s possible, sweating bullets and heaving noisily, before he quiets himself. He’s also glaring at me, but meekly, and i’m not too scared anymore to be honest. He looks more frustrated than anything, although i can guess he’s actually scared to death. HAH.

“Hey you’re ok, i said, i just. Need to get us somewhere safe. Yeah. Not here.” i croak out. i’m starting to feel the freezing wind more, too. i can’t afford to stall and give him time to think. i can still hear the sirens. They’re looking for someone. And i don’t want the police on my back, even if i didn’t do anything reprehensible in the end.

So i slide my hands under him, still making sure i don’t touch any possible sensitive areas, and decide to go for the armpits, and hey i might get a tickle out of him ! ...ahah no. As i try to heave him up on his… surprisingly tiny feet ? did he lose his shoes or. Whatever. He just stays as silent as he is limp. And boy is he limp as a rock. Not quite as heavy though, good.

“You’re lighter than you look-” might as well try to make some conversation “and uh, can you walk ?” Or at least i can try to fill the heavy silence. Let’s just forget the “tried to kill you” thing. We’re both in deep crap anyway, and i can understand having baggage.

He really won’t walk though. He barely makes a sound too. If i hadn’t heard him sooner i’d think he can’t talk or something. i barely get a grunt out of him as i put him on my hip, which isn’t hard given he’s like. Half my size. Fun sized boney menace.

And i begin to trudge down the stairs- not the ones i came from, i don’t want to get caught if the cops are back there and it’s too far anyways. i want a bed. Now. A lone pillow would do.

He doesn’t seem much different, dangling on my side barely sparing me a glare as i look down at him, checking if he’s not dusting yet. He stopped “bleeding” at least. He still got that nasty huge scar.

i can feel him staring when i’m not looking. He’s still wary. Probably only lets me pull this only because he can’t not. Heh, at least he doesn’t seem to mind that i’m carrying him like you’d do a toddler. i just, need my other arm to grip and grab at the staircase bars when i slip.

Nah he looks more disgusted to be touching me than anything. Everytimes we get into more contact, because i’m bumping a wall or stumbling on my own feet again, i can distinctly feel him shudder, and try to get away. It’s just a little distracting, and unbalancing, and a lil tidbit hurtful. But i can’t blame him. i’d be throwing a fucking fuss and dishing fists if our places switched.

At least it’s relatively calm. We didn’t meet anyone, maybe a few rats rummaging garbage, and some monsters hurrying home, Whimsuns i think ? No one that paid us any mind at least.

So we’re still walking slowly when rain hits us hard, and nearly sends me on my ass. Doesn’t help the shivering, but now it’ll clean the streets out for sure. It’s something past midnight, i don’t wanna find anyone out at this hour.

But i’d kinda appreciate finding my way to somewhere because

“Aaaaaaaaaaa a h ahhh i got no idea the fuck i’m g-going…” Ah fuck. i said that out loud. And now my passenger's giving me his best ‘are u fuckin kiddin me’ stare. He’s. Very unamused.

“L-look, this isn’t, this isn’t my part of the city, okay?? i’m- i’m tryin’ to g-get us to the monster neighbourhoods, but i don’t know the fuck where it is, alright ?!” My tone escalates with my pitch, and i nearly slip again as he flinches away from me. Damn it, not helping eli, still in an episode or something. Don’t yell.

“Y-y-yeeah okay, look. ‘m sorry i cried but i’m in shock and still lost, kay? S-so maybe help or som’thin’ ?” Indications would help yeah. And now he’s listening, he’s also less shaky and putting his weight on me in a way that hinders our progression less. Good.

He nods. Good.

“Good. Gooood good good good.” i’m on autopilot now, following the skeleton’s grunted directions. i take a few wrong turns every now and then, but what can you do with nonverbal advice, and we end up in a part of the city i recognize, because i’ve seen it on tv and wanted to come look around anyway.

The gym stadium. A big building, at least big for a monster building, given the prices get surprisingly higher when they’re buying, stylized like a Japanese dojo, with anime advertisement posters (whether for the dojo or the animes i got no ideas) on the walls and- oh my gosh are those- fish, dolphin, shark and starfish stickers on the windows.

“Perfect !” i half yell, significantly lighting up. Mc comicbonedude looks at me like i’ve grown a second head, and i give him a big manic smile, obviously stressed out. My right eye might be twitching a little too. Does that when i’m under pressure. He decides to go back to slumping against me and questioning his life choices, and i take that as an ‘okay GO’ to proceed with my genius only just made up plan.

i march up quickly, -i want this DONE WITH. NEXT TIME i GO ON AN IMPROMPTU RESCUE MISSION I’M TAKING MY LEAD UMBRELLA AND A CHANGE OF CLOTHING- to the tall doors, who thanks fucking gods are under a porch, that saves us from being drenched anymore, and pound it with all i got.

“OI BLUE WATER GAL ! OPEN UP!!! I KNOW YOU’RE STILL WORKING, YOU ALWAYS BRAG ABOUT NOT SLEEPING AND PROVIDING A 19/24H SERVICE ON TV!!! OPEN UUUPP!! B I T C H! OPEN!!UP!!”

Skeleton is googly eyeing me like the second head i’ve definitely grown started reciting the ten commandments to belzebuth themselves,

[and he’s not too far off]

but i don’t care my dude i am d o n e. If i get welcomed with a fist to the face i don’t give a diggly doogly dang fuck so long i can get inside and lay down. Even on the cold ass tile floor. i’m don-

“OI PUNK, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT RUCKUS ?? YOU TRYING TO PICK A DUEL WITH ME ? CUT IT OUT UNLESS YOU WANT A POUNDING COMPETITION FUFUFUFUFUFUH~ I’M OFFERING THOUGH !”

Ah, right, i’m still hitting that door. Ouch, that’s gonna swell. Oh welp.

But the voice came from...up?

i step backward some, under the rain, ugh, and look up to see, yup, a noodly armed blue fish person with bright scarlet red hair pulled up in a bun, all sweaty, a poor guy in a chokehold, peeking out of the second floor window, taking in the pouring rain with gusto. A gigantic lightning bolt, quickly followed by loud ass thunder, comes to compliment her boisterous apparition, and she grins- smirks? wide locking her single eye on me, the lighting making her golden teeth flash.

She comes down to greet my miserable form fast, not taking the stairs, but jumping out of the window (much more graciously than mc comicbonedude previously), having let go of her victim- sparring partner previously, good gods, and lands at my feet like nobody’s business, to then bolt up, eager to see the intruder to her night sessions.

And Undyne, former Captain of the Royal Guard of Monsterkind Underground, all steel like blue scales, glinting golden slitted eye and sharp mouth, now renowned Master of Fights in her stadium, among monsters and humans even more, already black belt of more martial arts than i know of, and fresh survivor of one of the biggest terrorist hits on monsters yet, is staring me down, from her easy two meters height, like i’m her next meal.

i gulp. i’m so fucked.

i’m so fucked and not just for the fact that i am royally gay and all, but also cuz…

[i recognize her]

[she was so hard to f---- [REDACTED]]

[couldn’t figure out that all we had to do was to run and then ---- -- ------- [REDACTED]]

“Uh ?” Her gaze has finally caught on my now bundled up passenger, who’s shivering in cold rather than fear, on my hip, who only lazily grins a

“sup”

“YO SANS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS WIMPY HUMAN AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT ?? AND Y’ALL ARE SOAKED !! GET INSIDE, NERDS !!!”

[i know him]

i follow hollowly the orders and get inside, feel a weight leave my side-kinda miss that already, to then feel a big fluffy towel drape over me. Then i sit down. In the hall on the ground, probably. Wooden floor is in my direct line vision. Uh. Thing is well taken care of, all waxed and clear, who would have guessed.

[i know them both. very well actually]

[Chara would be nervously giggling if they were here]

[wonder what they’re up to]

[and Frisk too, obviously]

[what about Flowey though. no idea what the lil shit is up to in pacifist endings]

i’m so f UCK E D.

---

Aaaand that’s how i ended up rocking back and forth in Undyne’s dojo’s main hall for half of the night, muttering about video games and fucking witchcraft gone wrong again and shit fuck damnit, i guess it was denial all along those last two, six months ? And oOH WELP, guess i did cradle like a toddler my fictional crush for the last, what, half hour ? Whoopsies.

Hhhhhhhh

fuck that ink witch status, that was not planned.

___

When i finish my flashback, and it’s been something like six months again since, got to “meet” his super cool great bro, not on his account though, Undyne just had to introduce Papsy to the dweeb that “saved his big brother” and also Asgore, Toriel, for a quick ‘thanks you’, even a small interview with Mettaton, that made a hit on the Undernet, and mingled a bit with monsters- i’m friend with Chesty Brun now (Burgerpants), and Alphys, because we’re following the same mangas-

he’s already gone, burger nearly untouched, ketchup covered fries half eaten and drink finished, and i’m tempted to ask Grillby, who is hovering close behind his bar, fretting a little, in front of my frozen form, if “you’re gon throw that out ? sure i can’t finish ?” Because it’d be a real shame to let all that delicious grub go to waste. But that’d be creepy as fuck, even moreso taking my feelings for the small dude, and his against me, so i don’t, and he’ll probably feed it to his pet lava rock anyway, so i stop hugging myself and rocking back and forth and go back to my seat, waving him off with a sorry smile, and go back to sullenly sipping my vanilla milkshake.

Can’t blame Sans.

He’s cautious. Understandable.

i know what he’s had to put up with.

[and so do all of you]

[dirty brother killers ?]

[i hope not]

[i really wonder how’s Chara doing…]

AAAAAAAaaaaaaah how do i turn this shit off ?? Let me pretend i’m normal in a normal situation stupid brain thing !!

...ah. screw it. this magic milkshake is fabulous. That’s totally what i’m crying about.

“Don’t worry Grillby.”

_______________

ye don’t worry my dudes. can i call y’all that ? ‘s gender neutral. ‘m a demi girl, and you can call me “my dude”, my dudes. wow what a bull of crap i pulled here, sorry trans girls and enbies

this isn’t beta read cuz i’m on my own and english isn’t my native language, i’m french, so plz forgive mistakes.

i had some drafts lying around my google docs for a year now, mostly about bugging and kissing snas, put them together and thought i’d do an actual Thing with it all. this isn’t good, i know it.

lest to say i have no idea what i’m doing !

and don’t know when this’ll update, it it does. i had the motivation to finish this cuz there was no clients at the restaurant i worked at back in july. blah blah blebs blah.

#/witchcraft #/unsanitary #/c slur #/physical assault #/alcohol #/hate crime #/racism #/panic attack #Know & Determinate: II- the surface and a lame witch #uidelsibwrites #old art

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mytaggss · 7 years

Text

7.21.16 (first)

4.11.17 (second)

1. Are you good at apologizing? i guess yeah- sure

2. Do you prefer your looks or personality? both- both tbh

3. Are you confident? not really- eh, sometimes i can be, but lets be honest here

4. What are you most confident about yourself? idk- my body size, i like that i look kind of small but not too skinny

5. Name a few songs that reminds you of someone, and who it remind you of. idk haha- haha i have some but

6. What is your favourite colour combination? i like a lot of them, i can’t pick a favorite off the top of my head.- maybe pink and white? idkkk

7. Define your “aesthetic”. basically someone who takes care of themselves all around.- casual and athletic probably

8. What is sex to you? something that two people who are really into/love each other and it is something both want to do.- two people who are comfortable with each other and have some sort of sexual tension and are both into it. there can be love involved or just lust

9. Do you have any kinks? What are they? not really- nah

10. What are some of your biggest pet peeves? people who scream randomly- when i can hear people eating weirdly oh god

11. What’s something that automatically turns you off of other people? bad odor/breath, dirty clothes/hair (all the time, not like after sports or a workout lol)- same and boring people

12. What song always makes you sad/emotional? idk- without a word- birdy and fallingforyou- the 1975 and juke jam- chance the rapper (sometimes lol)

13. How many people have you dated? How many of them do you still have feelings for? none- none technically

14. How are you with moving on? idk- eh get hurt but i move on to the next one pretty easily because i haven’t had a true bf so

15. What’s a philosophy you agree with, but fail to live by? idk- live life to the fullest everyday

16. What’s something you don’t like about yourself? myself in general kind of lol.- lol my height, i wish i was shorter

17. What’s something positive happening in your life right now? i am going to start college soon.- i am actually doing good in school other then math but i am withdrawing from that class so

18. Are you truly able to admit your faults in relationships to yourself? idk?- sure

19. Is it important to you to be a good person? yes- yes

20. Are you a good person? i think so- yes i think so

21. How could you become a better person? i could compliment people more, and be happier for others.- same

22. Would/have you ever pierced your genitalia? no- no

23. Have you ever been in love? If so, with how many people? no- nah

24. Do you believe in love at first sight? nah- same

25. Which social science interests you more; psychology (how the mind effects a person), sociology (how society affects a people) or anthropology (learning about culture)? Why? psychology, idk.-- psychology

26. Have you ever orgasmed? no- nope

27. Have you ever made someone else orgasm? no- yes

28. During sexual interaction, what is the most important thing to you? that they really want to do this me, and that there is emotion connected between us and we are really into it and each other.- that they are into it to, i love someone who initiates it first because then i know they want it. also comfort and trust, those are extremely important, it may be something you hear over and over again, but it seriously so important, i didn’t realize until after i did it.

29. Are you comfortable being sexual with lots of people? nah, just one is good enough for me.- well i mean i would like to have different experiences with other people, but not a lot all at the same time.

30. How do you usually get people to be interested in terms of romantic relationships? And sexual relationships? And platonic relationships? uh, i never have had one.- they have always come to me, i don’t really do anything tbh, i just reciprocate if i want to

31. What’s your favourite song to sing a long to? idk, i have lots.- not about angles- birdy

32. What’s some “embarrassing” music you listen to? uh, none that i think is embarrassing. sometimes i’ll listen to old love songs cause i think they’re cute. idk if thats embarrassing, but yeah.- lol sometimes i listen to kpop if its good.

33. What are you most snobby/pretentious about? haha, nothing really.- lol nothing really

34. How do you express sad emotions? And happy emotions? uh, not really. i like being happy of course.- i express my sad emotions usually through free write poetry and my happiness just through my everyday life.

35. Do you use Skype? FaceTime? none of them really. rarely FaceTime. no Skype.- nah

36. How do you feel about phone calls? i only like them with close friends, if not i get really nervous about them and i will like get all worked up.- only if i absolutely have to

37. How do you feel about texting? i like it- its nice

38. What are your thoughts on LDRs? um, idk think they work out well. i think they should take a break and if they are both still up for it when they get back, then they can continue.- i think it can sometimes work and sometimes it can, depends on the people.

39. Have you ever cried over a piece of visual art? What was it of? Why do you think it made you cry? no- nah

40. When and why was the last time you cried? when i got lost across town and my phone just turned off lol.- i don’t remember

41. What’s something you love that you never do anymore? Why don’t you do it? read, because it takes up too much time and i don’t really have any.- write my fictional stories/books, i used to love it, but i just stopped because i didn’t have time and i was getting burned out. but i wan’t to start again soon.

42. Are you afraid to die? only if I’m young- i think i am too young to die right now, so yes i am

43. If there were no limits; who and what would you be? idk really…- an astronomer

44. Are you more likely to be sub or dom during sex? sub- sub

45. Describe your fashion sense. brandy melville sort of, but a little bit more casual then that. i like short clothes and crop shirts. I like cause lear to be honest. stuff that i won’t stand out too much, but people will still think I’m cute.- casual and athletic or beachy

46. Do you have stage fright? only when i am alone speaking yes.- in public speaking yes

47. Did/do you ever put your hand up in class? sometimes… not really though- eh not really

48. Are you more of an open or closed person? both- open definitely

49. What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? And the best? the worst thing, idk really… and the best probably when i got dancer of the year.- same

50. Are you a theist? (Not necessarily in the way of “guy in the sky”, maybe just believing in any higher power) maybe yeah.- same

51. What are your top three places you’d like to travel and why? china/korea, paris, and brazil. they are pretty.- scotland, spain, costa rica

52. What’s something you thought would be really scary/bad, but was actually fine when it happened/you did it? putting a tampon in lol, sorry.- lol same haha and sex

53. When you sleep at friends houses, how often do you sleep in their bed? overtime basically, unless there are a lot of people over.- almost ever time unless there are more people there and we can’t, i always get the worst sleeping accomidations i swear lol.

54. Can you sleep facing someone? idk yeah. as long as they aren’t like looking at me.- lol samme

55. Do you ever get in slumps? If so; how often, and how long do they usually last for? yeah, not for very long.- yeah i do a lot haha and usually not more then a couple days

56. Do you like being alone? yes, sometimes.- not really

57. Are you social? yes

58. How do you feel about parties? i like them, i’ve just never really gone to them, cause I don’t know many people that go to them.- i like them actually, i really like parting with my friends and being a little crazy, like its really enjoyable for me haha. even though my best friend isn’t always super into them haha.

59. Have you ever hosted a party? How did it go? no- nah

60. What question(s) do you love to ask people? idk- questions about love and sex and just deep stuff about them, it’s really interesting. some people are really open and cool about it.

61. What question(s) do you love being asked? personal stuff like this- personal questions, im such an open book

62. Are you confrontational? Does it make you uncomfortable when others are? not really, and yes haha.- nah and it can be lol, i just like to keep the peace

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eradikeats · 8 years

Text

18 Questions About Music

I was tagged by @and-so-are-you who is my husband/soul mate/trash can friend. Follow him for art and soft-goth vibes x

1. Which bands/artist do you own the most albums by? this question goes two different ways for me because i own whole discographies of many artists/groups and, some of these artists will have longer careers than others so inevitably they will have more albums, you feel. reality is that i own literally everything Maynard James Keenan has recorded and released in an official capacity either with Tool, APC, or Puscifer - plus soundtracks he’s appeared on. The Beatles because i took all of my parents collection and ripped it to my laptop. i own A LOT of Bowie and Prince, all of Muse’s albums, every Joy Division/New Order, The Cure, Deftones, White Lies, IAMX, Elbow. generally, if i get heavy into a band i become a collector.

2. What was the last song you listened to? The Human League - Seconds

3. What’s in your CD/Record player right now? i was listening to Cocteau Twins Heaven Or Las Vegas while i cooked dinner because you can kind of just yodel along without actually focusing on words

4. What was the last show you attended? white lies at music hall of williamsburg last month

5. What was the greatest show you’ve been to? oh jesus. there’s been a few tbh. elbow at reading 2011 was insane because i was back in the UK and a fucking rainbow erupted over the stage while they performed the birds and i totally lost it. a perfect circle at lollapalooza was the time i became someone Other. IAMX in London last year was emotional as shit cause i was coming down from a stomach flu, was with @simonjpg and @and-so-are-you and they played This Will Make You Love Again and wow. Muse’s War Child gig with fuckin DEAD STAR and the whole of the internet erupted asking me if i was ok which, no i certainly was not. i saw Stevie Wonder for free two summers ago which WOW. funny i’m naming legends but once i saw O’Brother open for Biffy Clyro and they blew me the fuck away. i’ve been a fan ever since and i’m so pleased they’re doing really well now.

i’ve been blessed with some incredible gigs.

6. What was the worst show you’ve ever been to? yikes. ive never been to a show where the band i’ve paid to see are awful but ive suffered some horrible openers, let me tell you. the worst was when i went to see brian fallon and his opener, i literally do not remember who, was so terrible i got a headache halfway through the set and had to leave the entire gig because i was in agony.

7. What is the most musically involved you have ever been? uh, in what capacity? well. i play violin and am a singer, i sight read better than i sight sing though. sight reading means im kind of okay at piano although my left hand prowess is non-existent, really. but i mean, if we’re being open and honest, i actually am employed in the music industry, so that’s pretty damn involved if you ask me lol.

8. What show are you looking forward to? SO MANY. ive got some huge festivals this year - Gov’s Ball, Glastonbury, and Lollapalooza (supposing i get tix to the latter). elbow in november, New Power Generation at the start of April. who knows what else will get announced - hoping for some official Franz Ferdinand dates (besides their gov’s ball set) or an APC tour.

9. What is your favorite band shirt? i have this v-neck black shirt from when i saw The Cure last year. the only size they had was xxl and i got it just because im compelled to get shirts at every gig i attend. its honestly the most comfortable shirt i own and i use it as pajamas.

10. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day? honestly, id love to spend a day with Dan Smith from Bastille. im not even like super, duper heavy into the band (i love them but not how i love many others) i just want to get some sandwiches and talk about movies with him. we’d have so much to discuss. probably would also love to hang with lorde and osmose some of her glamour.

11. Who is one musician or group you wish would make a comeback? like...from the dead? bowie or prince, full stop. come back and make a new album, Fair To Midland. such a specific, identifiable sound - no one is filling their space now they’re gone.

12. Who is one band/ artist you’ve never seen live but always wanted to? BOWIE AND PRINCE. im haunted by the time Prince came to NYC when i was in college and i was too fucking poor to see him. rammstein have decided to play an NYC date for the first time in fucking years and i just so happen to be at glastonbury when they’re here (i am bitter). TOOL is on this list but WILL BE REMOVED IN JUNE, CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE. also, recently lady gaga but specifically during her fame monster years. she came round when i was in college and my housemates went - regret it because she seems like an amazing performer.

13. Flawless albums? shit. wow. ok. ive got many. Radiohead - In Rainbows, Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes, Prince - Purple Rain, NIN - Year Zero, Cocteau Twins - Heaven Or Las Vegas, White Lies - Ritual (i swear to god, you have no fucking idea how far ahead of its time this album was- it’s six years old and it sounds like it was produced yesterday), Manic Street Preachers - Everything Must Go, elbow - the seldom seen kid, Ghinzu - Blow, and Echo & The Bunnymen - Ocean Rain - to name a few. i find when you listen to a lot of music, you wind up discovering how much art is really out there which is probably why my pretentious ass has a longer list than most idk

14. How many concerts have you been to, total? please don’t make me count. a very high number.

15. Who have you seen the most live? Muse

16. What is your favorite movie soundtrack? I have three really. The Fountain, A Single Man, and Pride & Prejudice. Also, not films but Braid, Bastion, and Transistor are some of the best video game soundtracks. I can’t really go a month without listening to them.

17. What was your last musical ‘phase’ before you wisened up? i turned my ‘phase’ into a career, i think we’re shit outta luck on the ‘wisened up’ front.

18. What is your ‘guilty pleasure’ that you hate to admit liking? i love the shit out of K-Pop. it’s been like a 7 year quiet thing in the back of my mind, but if you want to learn some SHINee/EXO/f(x) moves, i got you!

i forgot im supposed to tag people omg uh ok @zombeesknees because she is my queen and i want to know what she’s into; has @simonjpg done this yet? idk, do this if you want!

#music i like #about me #i know im forgetting important things here why are these so hard to do

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fragiilexa · 7 years

Note

all the even numbers

100 questions

OH MY GOD. that was a lot of questions lmao

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?

already answered.

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

already answered.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?

already answered.

8. What are your current goals?

already answered.

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?

already answered.

12. Can you keep a diet?

I don’t really do diets? They’re always usually unhealthy & detrimental to your health so I just try to portion food & stuff, pick healthier choices, I don’t like… do weird diets or anything.

14. Do you work?

Not currently no, I don’t.

16. Would you get a tattoo?

Yes, I would love to get a tattoo, I really want one that says Think Positive but the T in positive is a cross? I’ve seen it somewhere before & I’d love that, then also I want one that says ‘I can’t hear hate when I got so much love.’ I also had this really cute idea for getting a tattoo for each of my pets but idk how that one would pan out yet.

18. Can you drive?

No. Not yet I cant.

20. What was the last thing you cried for?

I cried watching some youtube videos a few days ago, lmao that was fun…

22. Is life fun?

Yeah. It is kiddo it IS fun, it’s like a fun lil’ roller coaster u know? Sometimes it feels like it’s not fun & you get scared but things are all okay in the end, you know?

24. What’s your dream car?

Mini Coop Countryman. It’s just? Super cute? I mean I’m not really into cars, realistically I’d probably get a jeep ‘cause I’m a lot more comfortable with them but, yanno.

26. Describe your crush.

Super fuckin’ smart, like doesn’t realize it but incredibly smart & determined. Super strong in every single possible way, also one of the kindest people I have ever met & u know also super attractive & jst cute ndngjodeo i luf and u know i jsut amsuper emoitional aobut it ok byre.

28. What was your last lie?

Probably that I did something that I forgot to do? I can’t remember.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

Yep. I mean at least for me, less embarrassing with friends though, honestly. With family it’s worse & I feel worse but it’s easier with friends I guess.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail?

I don’t drink so….

34. Do you like small kids?

Yes! I love little kids? They’re adorable & I’m smitten, I mean some of them can be annoying u feel but 90% of the time I’m smitten with little kids ‘cause they’re like human puppies u kno?

36. What would you name your daughter/son?

If I have a son I’m gonna name him Benjamin. I haven’t thought about if I have a girl? I mean honestly I want a girl really bad when the time comes but I have no names planned out besides maybe Lila but that might be a little odd if I get the book written, I dunno. We shall see.

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

Uh, no? Not that I can think of lmao?

40. What was the last gift you gave?

Pretty sure I gave my Mom something but I can’t remember what it was.

42. Favourite place to shop at?

Shop for what? I dunno Target?

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?

I have yet to get drunk yet. I’ll let u kno when it happens tho ok fam?

46. How old were you when you first had sex?

I MIGHT NOT UPDATE U ON THIS but also I share too much so I probably will. hasn’t happened yet tho lmao

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year?

Have fun? Idk.

50. Post a selfie.

No.

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.

U kno the usual ole’ demons & abandonment.

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self?

People are gonna leave and it’s going to hurt really bad. You’re not gonna know why it was you or what you did, but it’s okay ‘cause it’ll make you smarter & kinder than them.

56. Any bad habits you have?

I’m a nervous eater? Lmao I guess that’s a bad habit.

58. What was the last thing you cried for?

Those youtube videos.

60. Are you in love?

Wot is love ( baby don’t huRT me donT huRT ME NO MORE )

62. How long was your longest relationship?

whAT RELATIONSHIP? My friendships barely last, lmao, relationship lmoa dsgdfre

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

Hm, sometimes guy’s can be really pretentious, also they seem to think periods aren’t a big deal that bothers me & probably just the superiority complex thing. Bothers me.

66. How would you describe your bad side?

Super closed off bitch who really just doesn’t like people & can like, probably hurt a lot of people emotionally if she wanted too. Sort of terrifies me, sort of hate that bit of myself. I try to be nice but yeah it’s hard to not be super bitter sometimes.

68. What are you living for?

jeSUS FAM. I live for Jesus & all the amazing people He’s put into my life who mean the world to me.

70. Do you like your body?

It’s a love / dislike relationship. I’m constantly trying to appreciate it & love it but I also know I could physically be more fit so I wanna work on that & sometimes being like out of shape makes me self conscious but I mean I don’t hate my body I just… dislike it sometimes.

72. Ever sent nudes?

llokeodgebhrth no. I have no fun ok gtg.

74. Favourite candy?

Pixy sticks or like, sour punch straws? I don’t know.

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

Sims. I played WoW for a… while when I was younger & maybe I might get back into that when I have a new computer or something but Sims is my favorite game ‘cause it? It just is??? It’s the best.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?

I am & He does. He’s gotten me through…. everything, like I don’t think I’d be here without him and I have been in a very rough patch with things lately with him but it’s 100% just me & like, yeah. But it’s not a pretentious thing though, I don’t believe that I’m somehow BETTER than everyone else. I 100% believe God exists, I love Him & He loves me & He loves all of you so it’s okay, you know?

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

To each his own. I mean personally I love chicken too much? Lmao, but like if you’re an adult & you wanna do that feel free. I’m a little iffy when it comes to like, making your kids be vegan just because they’re growing & it’s sometimes hard to supplement the nutrients & stuff that meat would give your kids unless you really know what you’re doing & I’m 100% against it when people make their animals vegan ( like dogs who are not meant to be leaf eaters ) dogs need meat. But like I said, to each his own, as long as you’re maintaining a healthy lifestyle & aren’t depriving yourself of the right nutrients than I’m okay with it.

82. Do you like Chineese food?

No…. I’m super picky fam.. it just, doesn’t appeal to me I guess.

84. Vodka or whiskey?

Someone send me both & let me choose?

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country?

I’ve been out of state a few times but never out of the country.

88. What are you scared of?

Spiders? People leavin’ me? Dyin’? Big bugs? Suffocating? Getting burnt? Car crashes? Driving? There are a lot of things. Trust me.

90. Most traumatic experience ?

I mean… I don’t know, there’s not like a set thing or anything that’s really happened besides like, one of my best friends kind of like, dumping me when I was a kid & that kind of fucked me up but I dunno.

92. Favourite app on your phone?

I don’t have a phone but my favorite app on my ipad is probably weheartit or tumblr.

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

I don’t watch it as much as I’d like but I love Remi Ashten she’s adorable & one of my favorite Youtubers.

96. What is the meaning of life?

Show people that God loves ‘em no matter what ‘the church’ or ‘religion’ or any one really tells them, like, God loves you & he wants you in his life. It’s really simple. That & like, just trying to make the world better you know? I am a cheese ball but I’m dead serious, I think all of us have a unique way of going through life and the ‘meaning’ of life may be slightly different for each of us but the true meaning of it all is to just show people that despite all of the horrible things in the world that there is good & the good is God and that like, we are not required to be perfect or to fit some kind of mold to be loved or accepted by God. I don’t know I’m just mush and I want everyone to know that God loves them no matter what other people say. That and make a damn good book at some point. That’s the meaning, lmao, I don’t know im 21 why are you asking me this. Ask me in another 21 years.

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

Sadly yes. Me & My sister found that tumblr post where this kid told his mom that ‘you know there was a point where you picked me up, put me down and never picked me back up again’ and we told that to her, that at one point she’d put us down and never picked us back up again, and she like, instantly started crying and I feLT SO BAD AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO IT WAS HORRIBLE.

100. Can you keep a secret?

Yep. But pinky promises are more solid than just a secret to me, tbh.

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