#uh 43°C I think

[dearly-somber]

Haircut | j.jk

-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)

-> genre. slow burn, fluff, f2l (friends-to-lovers), humor, found family, angst, drama, eventual romance, eventual smut, high school!au

-> w/c. 1982

-> rating. 13+

-> a/n. This ended so silly so goofy smdhjaheb

-> warnings. None!!

-> collection. mini-series

-> started. Aug. 14th, 2022 @ 19:49

-> fin. Thurs., Nov. 20th, 2023 @ 04:43

-> edited. Fri., Dec. 1st, 2023 @ 12:55

-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn

“You’re kidding right?”

Jungkook pouts, looking down at his hands with a furrow in his brow. “No…”

Y/N laughs, rocking forward to smack his knee familiarly. “You seriously got detention because your hair was too long? That’s ridiculous!”

“I know,” he whines, running a hand through said hair and sighing deeply as he lays back with his legs crossed, splaying his arms over the bed.

Y/N giggles as she stands, sympathetically patting his shoulder. “Is there really no way out of it?”

“Not unless I can book an appointment before school tomorrow.” Y/N cringes. “Yeah,” he sighs.

It’s so dumb. He didn’t get in trouble the entire week! Not one teacher mentioned it, and then during his last period on a Thursday evening, bam! Detention slip. And, obviously, it was from his least favorite teacher, Ms Kang, who he was pretty sure hated his guts for no other reason than she couldn’t fuck him. He’s honestly surprised that she hasn’t been reported for sexual harassment yet, but he swears if she touches his shoulder in class one more time…

Jungkook’s brought back to the present at the sound of drawers opening and closing, his attention piqued. The thing that spurs him into motion is the realization that Y/N is rummaging through his drawers and she might accidentally happen upon his underwear.

“What’re you looking for?” he asks, pushing up off the bed to sit with his feet hanging off the side.

“A comb.” She closes his sock drawer with a sigh. “Do you have one?”

His eyes flit to the hand she has wrapped around the dreaded underwear drawer handle. “In my bathroom. Why?”

She mutters to herself, “‘Course it’s in the bathroom, why didn’t I think of that?” Then, louder, “Wanna comb your hair first.”

“‘First’?” Jungkook repeats quizzically.

“Mm,” she hums, turning to him with a smile. “Gonna cut it for you.”

His eyes widen. “Seriously?”

“Sure!” She pulls him into the bathroom by his wrist, crouching to dig through his sink cupboard and turning back to him with a smile on her face and a comb in her hand.

“Uh…” Jungkook isn’t sure what to think. Does he like it when she plays with his hair? Yes. Does he trust her with his life? More than yes.

But his hair?

“I think I’d rather just go to detention…”

She punches his arm with a shake of her head. “My dad’s a barber, dickhead. I’m gonna get the water ready so long—can you change into swim shorts?”

“I…” Jungkook wants to say no and drag her back to bed so they could watch their silly little dramas and forget about how their plans to go to the movies tomorrow would be canceled because of some stupid detention slip, but Y/N’s eyes are sparkling and her voice is light, so he groans instead.

She smiles knowingly, turning her back to him as she starts fiddling with the handles in the bath, the water running as he goes to change, closing the bathroom door behind him.

He pulls his pants down and briefly considers changing out of his boxers before ultimately deciding to keep it on under the plain black swimming trunk he pulls out of his bottommost drawer.

He’s a little nervous for whatever Y/N has planned, but more than that, he’s excited. Whatever this is, he can feel deep in his stomach it’s going to be domestic and likely set his wolf off in the most pleasant way.

As he enters the bathroom, his eyes fall on Y/N. She’s standing inside the bath with her pants rolled up just under her knees, her shirt sleeves rolled up above her elbow, a comb and a bottle of shampoo in her hands.

“Well?” She beckons him closer. “What’re you waiting for?” Jungkook lets out a baffled laugh. She leads him inside the bathtub before gently pressing down on his shoulders so he’s facing the wall with his back to her, his legs crossed in front of him.

He feels Y/N slot her feet next to him, feels how her legs cocoon his arms. The water is pleasantly warm around his lap as she begins brushing through his unruly strands of hair.

She giggles softly. “I can’t believe you didn’t cut your hair,” she says, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I didn’t think it was long enough to get me in trouble,” he grumbles with his eyes closed. “We grow our hair out all the time, so no one thought it would be an issue.”

Truthfully, Jungkook didn’t want to cut it because he knew Y/N liked it long, and wanted an excuse to keep it that way.

She tsks playfully, dragging the comb from the very top of his head (literally an inch short of his forehead) all the way down to the shorter strands of hair at his nape. “Guess it gives me an excuse to play with your hair, huh?”

“Guess so,” he mumbles, his chest warm and bubbly. “I didn’t know your dad was a barber,” he says.

“I guess it’s never really come up in conversation,” she replies, setting the comb aside and reaching for the detachable shower-head. She tests the temperature on her palm, water dripping onto the side of Jungkook’s arm before she interrupts with a little gasp, “Shit! I forgot about your shirt.”

“It’s fine.” Jungkook waves her off. “I’ll change into a different one when you’re done.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook imagines Y/N skeptically biting her lip. “Alright. Lemme know if the water’s too hot, yeah?”

Jungkook grunts as a reply, a soft noise leaving his lips without him meaning to at the feel of the water on his scalp.

She runs her fingers over his head, cupping her hands over his eyes to stop the water from going into his face.

“Did…did your dad teach you how to do all this stuff?” Jungkook asks, his brows furrowing as his wolf croons at the way Y/N lathers shampoo into his hair.

“Yeah, kinda,” she replies focused-sounding. “He took me to work sometimes, so I watched him a lot. Picked up on most of it that way, if I wasn’t asking questions.”

“That sounds really nice,” he mumbles distractedly, smiling softly at the image of baby-Y/N being taught how to wash one of those Barbie head’s hair properly.

“It was.” She makes sure to get the shampoo in the hair behind his ears as well. Jungkook can’t help but sigh contentedly, unable to find it in himself to care when Y/N giggles teasingly.

“You good?” she asks, a smile in her voice.

“Feels really nice,” Jungkook replies softly, his heart probably beating slow enough to make a cardiologist worry for his health.

After Y/N lathers the shampoo on, she rinses his hair out, applies conditioner, rinses that out, and then gently taps his shoulder. “C’mon Wolfy, let’s go downstairs.”

“Wolfy?”

“What?”

Jungkook smiles wide at her offended pout, throwing the towel she hands him over his shoulders. “Nothing, nothing.”

“Whatever,” she humphs. “Go down to the kitchen when you’re done changing so we can cut your hair.”

Jungkook salutes. “On it!”

🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕

“Okay, you ready?” Y/N asks, excitedly snipping the scissors next to his ear.

Even though Jungkook feels his stomach drop, he puts on a brave face. “Let’s go!”

Y/N grins, running the comb through his hair one last time before pulling the longer strands of hair at the nape of his neck between her forefinger and middle finger, waiting a second before quickly snipping off the hair.

“Your hair’s gotten so long…”

“Should you be talking right now? Shouldn’t you focus on not cutting off too much?”

“Yah!” Y/N laughs in disbelief as she smacks his shoulder with the fist she has closed around the comb, tsking disappointedly as she continues snipping at his hair. She moves strategically around the back of his head, eventually maneuvering around to the front to cut his bangs.

“Seriously though, your hair’s grown a lot. I didn’t think you’d ever let it get this long.” She brushes through his hair again.

“Why?” he asks with closed eyes, both to keep the conversation going and also out of genuine curiosity.

She shrugs. “I dunno. You just never seemed like a long-hair kinda guy? It looks good on you, though. The long hair, I mean.”

“What else would you mea—stop hitting me!” Jungkook pouts as he brings a hand up to rub at his bicep, scowling under his bangs.

“Just��shut up. Stop nitpicking everything I say.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Don’t be mad, eh?” He reaches out to tug at her shirt, smiling satisfied when she huffs defeatedly and pats his hand before she starts cutting bangs.

“All hairstyles look good on you, though. It’s kind of unfair, actually.”

Jungkook scoffs, letting his eyes drift closed as Y/N grabs the blow-dryer (which he assumes she brought down from one of the bathrooms) and plugs it into a socket on the wall. She starts it up, then immediately stops.

He turns his head to the side to look at her. “What?”

“I’ve never thought to ask, but does the sound not hurt your ears?”

Jungkook frowns for a second, then lights up in understanding the next. “Oh! No, not really. It’s loud, sure, but you’d have to have really sensitive ears for it to hurt.”

“Ah, okay.” Y/N nods as she puts one hand on his shoulder, standing behind him. “Just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t hurt you.”

As the blow dryer turns on and drowns out any attempt at conversation, Jungkook can’t help but smile to himself.

She doesn’t want to hurt him. That’s a relief. Hopefully, she won’t have to. Soon, right? At the very least, Jungkook knows any hurt isn’t intentional…

🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕

“Alright! We’re done!”

You set the dryer to the side as you pull the plug out of the socket, walking around to look at the finished product of your hard work, only to find him asleep.

You smile softly at the way Jungkook’s chin rests against his chest, lips slightly parted in sleep. His hair is not only shorter now (even though you kept some of the length, because you couldn’t find it in yourself to cut it all off), but it’s clean and fluffy and it makes you want to run your fingers through it.

Which you do—you reach out and card your fingers through his bangs and over his scalp, just kind of fondly staring at him while he sleeps, before realizing that that might be a bit weird.

“Jungkook?” Your voice is softer than you meant it to be, but you don’t mind. He’s so innocent when he’s asleep, it’s kind of awe-inducing. “Kookie?”

“Mngf?” Jungkook’s eyes open blearily, confusedly sitting straighter in his chair as he takes in his surroundings.

“I’m done, Koo. Go lay down on the couch if you’re feeling tired, you’ll hurt your neck.”

He grumbles something under his voice as he gets up from the chair, towering over you (damn his long legs).

Your eyes widen in surprise when Jungkook sleepily stumbles toward you, nuzzling into your neck as his arms wrap weakly around your middle. “Thanks, Bunny.”

You’re beyond happy that Jungkook can’t read minds, because in that moment you find yourself—for the split of a second—thinking about Jungkook in a not-so-best-friend way. “Sure, Kook.”

He drags himself to the couch, unceremoniously climbing over the back and flopping onto his stomach with a loud oof.

You press the back of your hands to your cheeks in order to cool them down, shaking yourself free of the stupid butterflies in your stomach as you grab a broom and sweep your best friend’s auburn hair out to the backyard.

Stupid haircut…

<- prev | next ->

[trudemaethien]

Tru prompts!!! 👁️👁️

May I request Dogma/Echo with randomly generated prompts “note” &/ “glass”

“Think fast!” Fives called out and whipped something roughly clone-sized and -shaped laterally into a couple of troopers who’d been sitting quietly on a lower bunk with their heads bent together over a sheaf of notes, conferring.

One yelped and the other spluttered, both reacting in a flailing mess of limbs and flying flimsi. The item turned out to be not a person, but a set of armor plates loosely knotted inside a pair of blacks, a makeshift dummy. Fives chortled at their disgruntlement.

“You can’t do that! He’s not allowed do that, is he, sir?”

“Why won’t you just call him Echo, Dogma?” Tup interrupted and was summarily ignored.

“On what grounds are you objecting?” Echo challenged Dogma. “Because if you think you know something I can write him up for, I’ll do it.”

That was a heck of a promise. Dogma faltered and licked his lips, frantically calculating. “Uh, Article 27, paragraph 16, part b?”

“It’s not hazing unless it’s organized and premeditated.”

“Article 31, paragraph 1 and 2—”

“Conduct unbecoming a sergeant isn’t really—

“—in conjunction with, Article 4, paragraph 10,” Dogma tacked on hurriedly.

“Hmm,” Echo paused, musing, then scrunched up his lips skeptically. “Does that qualify as friendly fire, really?”

“What if it occurred under the auspices of Article 31 paragraph 43, part c,” Dogma proposed.

“Unauthorized training, not bad,” Echo said, nodding. “Fives, did you file a training plan with his first line supervisor for off-range ambush simulation training?”

“And what if I did?” Fives drawled, laughing.

Echo pulled his datapad out from where he’d stashed it to save it from Fives’ sneak attack. “Forward it to me, right here, right now,” he demanded, “and then, you can also forward me the one you filed with my supervisor.”

Fives blanched. Rex was their direct supervisor.

“Idiot,” Echo snorted.

“Tup, I see you filling out that datawork for him,” Dogma cut in. “Don’t even try it.”

“Busted,” sang out Flash, and Tup surrendered with good grace, even as Echo’s attention fell onto Dogma with unmistakeable heat.

“Article 31, paragraph 45,” Echo murmured.

Dogma leaned toward him and replied in the same intimate register, “Coercion by rank to fulfill duties not the subordinate’s own, and above their grade.”

Fives pouted. “You two aren’t actually going to write us up for facilitating your weird-ass version of foreplay, are you?”

“No, not feeling the datawork fetish today,” Dogma tossed over his shoulder without looking, and Echo, snickering, finally kissed him.

The Regulations Say 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/51948394

[shankhachil]

Countdown to JEE (Main): Week 3/33

(I need to take new pictures LMAOOOOOOOOO)

This week was a bit less productive than usual, JEE-wise! But that's because my school unit tests have started and I needed to revise English since I had barely touched any of the lessons in the syllabus.

I think I have done more-or-less-okay in terms of question solving though... let's see —

Test results:

none this week!

Topics covered:

Physics: Electrostatics, Current Electricity, Electromagnetic Induction and Alternating Current, Gravitation, Geometrical Optics, Electromagnetic Waves, Wave Optics (7/3)

Chemistry: Solid State, Coordination Chemistry, Hydrocarbons, Alcohols and Ethers, Ionic Equilibrium, Halogen Derivatives (6/3)

Mathematics: Limits, Indefinite Integrals, Definite Integrals, Matrices (4/3)

Questions solved:

Physics: - Allen Electrostatics module, O2, JEE (Main) and JEE (Advanced) archives — 57 questions, 52 correct - Allen Geometrical Optics module, O1 — 100 questions, 95 correct - Allen Electromagnetic Induction and Alternating Current module, O1 — 33 questions, 29 correct - Allen Gravitation module, JEE (Main) archives — 43 questions, 41 correct - Allen Current Electricity module, O1 — 51 questions, 50 correct - H. C. Verma Electromagnetic Induction — 20 questions, 19 correct - H. C. Verma Light Waves — 20 questions, 19 correct - Allen Electromagnetic Waves and Wave Optics module, O1 and O2 — 47 questions, 35 correct - FIITJEE JEE (Main) archives, Optics — 21 questions, 17 correct Total: 392/60 questions, 307 correct (uh-oh, gotta work on that accuracy)

Chemistry: - Allen Solid State module, O1, O2, JEE (Main) and JEE (Advanced) archives — 131 questions, 115 correct - Allen Coordination Chemistry module, O1 — 40 questions, 34 correct - Allen Hydrocarbons module, O1, O2 and S1 — 57 questions, 55 correct - Himanshu Pandey, Alcohols and Ethers — 40 questions, 36 correct - Allen Ionic Equilibrium module, O1 — 20 questions, 18 correct - Kota Question Bank Halogen Derivatives — 40 questions, 36 correct Total: 328/60 questions, 300 correct

Mathematics: - Allen RACE 5, 6, 7 — 30 questions, 27 correct - Allen Limits module, O1 and O2 — 50 questions, 45 correct - Arihant Integral Calculus Indefinite Integrals, Exercise 1 and 2 — 55 questions, 45 correct - Sameer Bansal* Indefinite Integrals, Exercise 1 — 31 questions, 27 correct Total: 166/60 questions, 144 correct *this book was sponsored by @warning-coffee-is-explosive! thanks king <3

GRAND TOTAL: 886/400 questions, 751 correct

Oh. It turns out I just feel like I've been unproductive.

Upcoming tests:

23/06/2024 (Sunday) — Allen monthly test. Topics: Kinetic Theory of Gases; Physical Thermodynamics; Electrostatics; Potential and Capacitance; Current Electricity; Electromagnetic Induction; Alternating Current; Electromagnetic Waves; Waves on a String; Sound Waves; Ray Optics; Wave Optics; Circle; Functions; Differentiation; Applications of Derivatives; Indefinite Integrals; Definite Integrals; Area Under a Curve; Differential Equations; Matrices; Silicates; Molecules That Do Not Exist; Coordination Chemistry; Metallurgy; Electronic Displacement Effects; Halogen Derivatives; Atomic Structure; Chemical Equilibrium; Solid State; Solutions; Chemical Kinetics; Chemical Thermodynamics. I'm feeling a little better about this one now...

See you again next week!

[420technoblazeit]

anwyay i reorganized my entire c!aster playlist which is now um. 53 songs long. into different arcs and i think im finally satisfied with it so guide below

1-5 is general dysphoria angst about not being human/not knowing what they are

6-7 is what i call the pompous asshole songs. basically about their whole 'everyone is stupid and naive except for me' arc

8-19 is where it gets spicy. child murder arc real, most of these are about their fucked up relationship with sleep + the contract

20-24 is the renn resurrection arc, mostly about their guilt over the accident

25-33 is about their time away from haven, which mostly happens offscreen and is partly covered by the fever dream that was a part of my charity stream

34-35 is general elysium songs as they settle into the kingdom

36-43 is the section dedicated to their plans with soleil to break free from the contract, including the plan to murder anathema

44-49 is about their relationship with soleil and for better or for worse the trust they put in her

50-51 is the current arc with aster investigating soleil's possible death

the other ones are uh. well. for shit that hasn't happened yet dont worry about it

[skzoologist]

Thank you thank you 💕

RIGHT?? IT WAS SO COLD 😭 (our average temp in the summer is 90-110°F (32-43°C)) a lot of us were all bundled up in winter coats and the ppl up front brought blankets too 😭

Too much has happened already, I'm not prepared 🫠

Family heirl- you know, I never thought ab that before 🤔 I might just do that now, thanks for the idea 😁 /j (idk yet) I will eventually,,,buy myself a record player,,,,cuz I bought a vinyl 💀

THEY WERE THERE ALL 3 DAYS TOO?? LIKE WHAT?? HOW MUCH ARE YOU BUYING?? I feel bad cuz there were so many people still waiting in line that never got the chance to buy anything they wanted cuz the exact same people bought up to the limit all 3 days ;-;

I'm not proud of how much gas I used 💀 the city I currently live in is around half an hr away from the pop up venue and the events that happened were another like 20 mins away from the venue 😭 some of the gas i used was becuz of spontaneous decisions,,,I went to the city's art museum for an art assignment, visited the city farmer's market, and made a additional trip back to the venue to bring the staff some boba drinks on day 2,,,but yeah,,,I need to fill up on gas Thursday before I go to visit my friend back home,,,

They do set limits, but from talking to the staff, it was stocking and location differences this time round becuz they opened up more pop ups this cb than before, so they spread out their stock and they didn't know how many ppl would be at some of the locations as it was their first time having popups in some new places,,,one of the staff did say he'd love to have some more pop ups in the city we were at and some new locations in the future, so I'm hoping that hello82 will open pop ups in more locations next CB and hopefully there will be more stock! I just wish some ppl would think a bit more ab those further back in line than just themselves,,, :/

-🐹

You poor little cold burritos 😞

Please don't tell me I actually gave you the heirloom idea, I'll die from laughter then- But yeah, uh, buying a vinyl was an interesting idea? One that your wallet probably does not appreciate 💀 Not like I can talk, I don't have a CD player and I keep buying them...

Why were the hoarders there FOR 3 FUCKING DAYS??? I'm sorry, but that sounds unfair. A lot of fans travelled there like you probably, I can only imagine what they felt when they saw people just buying stuff up right in front of their noses...

Oh my, you had an absolutely filled weekend, rest now a bit. Also you bought boba drinks for the staff? You're such a sweetheart, my god. I'm praying for your wallet 🙏

Aah, I see, that makes more sense now. It was just a chaotic mess for everyone then. Let's hope the next event will go smoothly, for everyone involved!

[distressed-demon]

I posted 12,113 times in 2022

That's 9,724 more posts than 2021!

160 posts created (1%)

11,953 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tiny-feral-arachnid-man

@fandomandangstlover

@dumbassery-demon

@vang0bus

@classic-heavy-but-cooler

I tagged 1,445 of my posts in 2022

#cod talk - 97 posts

#disco elysium - 87 posts

#edward richtofen - 79 posts

#demon's asks - 74 posts

#kind of a dilf. reblog - 55 posts

#mutual my beloved - 55 posts

#kim kitsuragi - 47 posts

#codz - 46 posts

#demon's discussion - 43 posts

#revacholian brainrot - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 109 characters

#i thought that post was funny as a joke but if you actually seriously believe that listening to popular music

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Uh

POV you go to a con and come across someone with the same cosplay as u

23 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#4

Please I spent like 5 hours on this my finger hurts so bad

25 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#3

Finding your Blorbo on other parts of the internet, in which you'd never expect to see your Blorbo is such a wonderful experience

But they're right, boy can he meow!!!

31 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#2

Medic x Sniper

Prompt from Discord: Skinny Dipping

Warnings: None (that I can think of? It's all very SFW and doesn't go into any detail)

When Ludwig agreed to accompany Mundy on a camping trip, he didn't expect the Bushman to suggest they go skinny dipping.

To be fair, the Kiwi made a few fair points; "S'not like anyone's gonna take a gander at us, we're the only people for miles around!! An' it's dark now, so it's not gonna be like we're seein' much."

The doctor had agreed. In fact, he was the first of the two of them to slip into the chilly river they'd (read: Sniper) set up camp next to. He pounced at his partner when Sniper waded in, the duo giggling brightly in the cool water, the moonlight casting them in a silvery light.

They shared tender touches, gentle words and sweet nothings. Small promises and careful kisses. Compliments were exchanged, and quiet reassurances.

It's quiet out here, Medic thought lazily as Mundy trailed kisses down the back of his neck. Peaceful, and charming. With nothing to bother us.

And as much as he would have loved to savor the moment, Sniper forced his head beneath the water, prompting another round of rough play.

Ludwig took particular notice to how animalistic the Kiwi was. He'd playfully growl, and show off those fangs he sported. It wasn't uncommon for him to surprise the doctor, as he moved through the water without creating hardly a ripple. It reminded Medic of a crocodile, and it put him at slight unease.

Until, of course, Sniper slowed down for a moment, letting Ludwig take a moment to appreciate his boyfriend.

Mundy was lithe, not skinny. His muscles were nicely toned, and he'd clearly endured some physical labour in his life. He was nicely tanned, as well as a fair amount of hair, which complimented his skin tone, at least in Ludwig's mind. The German also took notice to the way the Kiwi's bones were still visible beneath the skin, creating edges and contours that, were this any other place, or time, Medic would have loved to follow with a precise, careful touch.

But, for now, he had to be content with just the sight of his lover; the roughish, lone wolf with a kind soul and laid-back demeanor. The man who would always listen to Medic rant, even if he didn't have any idea what the German was on about. The man who was always so quick to comfort him, and compliment him, and love him, unconditionally, with everything he had.

The thought had brought tears to the doctor's eyes.

But all too soon, they had to stop, their bodies sore and tired from their romp in the river. So that's why they're here, wearing nothing but boxers and a blanket as they sat together at the edge of a fire, warming up a bit and getting ready for bed.

Ludwig turned his head, burying his face in Sniper's neck. "I'm glad you invited me out here, schatz. This was... The most wonderful way to spend time with you. I couldn't have asked for anything else. Today... Today was perfect."

Mundy smiled, carefully helping the doctor to lay down so their eyes fell to the swathe of stars in the sky. "Of course, Snapdragon. You mean the world to me. I love you... More than I can ever say."

As they shared a few more lazy, tired and loving words, they finally succumbed to slumber, their bodies resting perfectly against each other, like two halves of a whole.

[Anyways if this doesn't make any sense do tell me, in running on very little sleep here and I want feedback before I post this to Teufort Shenanigans]

31 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Anyways this morning I've come to a delightful conclusion:

Dr. Edward Richtofen CAN and WILL sign important legal documents in glitter gel pen

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk

53 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[popplepiie]

1. my middle name is elizabeth

2. at the time of writing this I'm 18 but this is going in my queue so i might be older by the time it actually posts

3. my birthday is 16/09/2004

4. my sign is virgo. Im also pisces moon and rising

5. my favourite colour is yellow. I also really like pink tho

🩷💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷

6. my lucky number is 3, it's how old I was when my cousin was born

7. I have two dogs. misty who is a black labrador and cocker spaniel mix and mac who is a shollie. I also have loooaaaads of fish I've had them for years

8. I'm from scotland! specifically the east coast

9. I'm 155cm

10. uk 5.5

11. I have so many shoes. wayyy too many. most were my mum's but she's got bad feet so she can't wear them.

12. my last dream was that I got really obsessed with personal hygiene and I'd shower like 4 times a day. it was weird. I used to run a dream blog but I'm not very good at describing dreams

13. I'm not very talented tbh ;-;

14.

15. my favourite song rn is boy division by my chemical romance

16. my favourite movie is labyrinth. my favourite animated movie is porco rosso

17. my ideal partner is just someone who is nice. and someone who recycles lol

18. I don't think I'd ever have children. I like time with myself

19. I'd never get married

20. I'm not religious! nothing against it tho

21. I've only been to the hospital when my gran was dying of lung cancer :(

22. I've never been in trouble with the law

23. when I was like 7 or 8 I went to go see dancing on ice live. there was a little competition where audience members had to "be the most noticeable" to win a back stage pass. my mum won it and we invited the family next to us to go backstage with us. there was a girl like my age there. if you're from glasgow and you're like 18 now and saw dancing on ice backstage.... uh.... hi. anyway we met literally everyone there. I was too shy to speak to any of the celebrities but I remember jorgie porter was really nice

24. I take showers but I really like baths!

25. I'm not wearing socks. I don't really like wearing socks and I always get blisters

26. I've never been famous. I think the closest I've been to famous was when I had 1000 insta followers. I sadly can't log into the account anymore. I just posted random stuff. if anyone happens to follow snortered on instagram let me know 😭

27. I think being a celebrity would be fun! I don't plan on it tho

28. I mostly listen to punk, emo, grunge and metal but honestly I like all genres

29. nooo I've never been skinny dipping

30. I sleep with 4 pillows. I'd like more tho

31. I sleep on my front

32. I live in a two bed bungalow. it's not fancy or anything and it's not insulted which means it's like 8°c in the winter.

33. I like to have oatibix, yogurt or a pastry for breakfast

34. I've fired a gun once and it was in a gun club when I was like 10

35. I've never done archery

36. my favourite clean word is uhhh idk I'll come back to this one

37. my favourite swearword is peenids

38. I've pulled an all-nighter a couple of times I think that's the longest I've went

39. I have a small scar on my hand from riding my gokart into a ditch when i was 6

40. this one time I had a friend who threatened to kill me and two of my friends if I didn't date him. I think he was a secret admirer for a while

41. I'm a terrible liar >.<

42. I think I'm an alright judge of character

43. noooo i can't do accents but a lot of people think a sound english

44. I don't think I have a strong accent ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

45. I love manchester accents. one of my besties is from there

46. I'm an INTP 9w1 phlegmatic king. there I think that's literally every personality test ever

47. I think my most expensive piece of clothing is some tokidoki clothes I got when I was like 13.

48. I can curl my tongue

49. if this is about belly buttons, I'm an innie

50. I'm ambidextrous!

51. I think spiders are really cute

52. my favourite food is carbonara

53. I love mexican food sm. literally every mexican food is my favourite

54. I'm a messy person but I try to be clean

55. my most used phrase is "omg" I literally say it all the time

56. my most used word is uhhh I'll come back to this one

57. it takes me ages to get ready. like half an hour to an hour

58. I don't have an ego at all ;-;

59. I suck lollipops!

60. I talk to myself all the time

61. I sing all the time but I'm not good at it >.<

62. see above

63. I'm scared of heights, drowning, knives and public speaking

64. I don't like to gossip. a lot of people gossip about me tho. in highschool loads of people would tell me that this girl who I didn't even know was always talking about me. it was weird. also minceraft number

65. best dramatic movie? hm I'm gonna come back to this one

66. I like to have my hair short to medium length. what sucks about short hair is that everyone says "you looked so much better with long hair" as if I asked

67.

hawaii

new york

texas

florida

ohio

pencilvania or something

oregon (idk if that's a real place or only exists in gravity falls)

wyoming

massive two tits

west virginia

virginia

california

conniticut (I think that's where luz lives)

uhhh

dakota (?)

ohio

florida

kansas

arkansas (for some reason this is pronounced "ark in saw")

ohio

washington

new orleans

georgia???

hey girl are u form mississpissi cuz ur the only miss whose piss I sippy

68. my favourite subject in highschool was RMPS. my favourite in college is uhh idk probably programming

69. I'm definitely an introvert. also nice

70. I've never been scuba diving that sounds scary

71. talking to new people makes me nervous

72. I am kinda scared of the dark tbh. I hate night time (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

73. I don't like correcting people

74. I'm very ticklish but I'll bite anyone who tries /th

75. I don't think I've started a rumour

76. the only authority I've ever had was being a prefect in school and being in charge of a few clubs

77. I don't drink ever I think alcohol tastes gross

78. the hardest drug I've done is antihistamines

79. my first crush was I think a boy called Romeo who I went to primary school with. my first fictional crush is princess rosalina

80. I only have my ears pierced rn. I want loads of piercings tho

81. I can't roll my rs 😭

82. I type at like 30wpm

83. I cannot run for the life of me 😭. probably like 3.5mph

84. my natural hair colour is brown. I don't really like it tho. my hair rn is dark red. it was supposed to be purple tho

85. I have blue eyes

🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵💙🩵

86. I have super sensitive skin. I can't wear most make up

87. I have a journal! I'm pretty inconsistent with updating it tho :/

88. my dad is a courier and my mum is a nursery teacher

89. my age is fine. I wish I could be a kid again tho

90. injustice makes me angry. also being accused of things I didn't do

91. I like my name. I've considered changing it tho

92. me and my ex were gonna name our future kids after the chipmunks and the chipettee /srs

93. I don't want any kids

94. I think I'm a good listener

95. my biggest weakness is poison

96. in my family variations of the name catherine is common. catty, katie, cathy etc. cathERINe

97. supposedly my ancestors were rich but not royalty

98. hasn't this been asked already?

99. my bedspread is pink and blue

100. my room is pink

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS FLOP AHHHH

1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?

[elemmacil]

22 and 43 for the writer questions, please! ☆

Thank u for indulging me anon 🥰🤲🏼

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

There is no rhyme or reason to this process at all lmao. Sometimes I’ll come up with a title when I begin writing, or as part of that initial idea process; sometimes the title informs the shape of the story. Other times I’ll scramble for one as I’m getting ready to post. I’ve gone through multiple titles for the same fic, too! And there are ones I might even re-name if I could, haha.

Feeling like I’ve got a really solid title is [angels singing]. Usually I want to invoke some kind of vibe with it. Long titles feel more appropriate for lighter fic, generally speaking, while things that are heavy/dense I tend to want a short title? Idk I find humor in crafting a long, meandering title sometimes.

In the past I’ve taken inspiration from song lyrics or from poetry, too. See: “dear star and spring bud, my preachers”. And “a bit of earth”, “ghost of a king”, and “good lord, I feel like I’m dyin’” are wholesale lyrics.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

OH MAN UH??? Hurt/No Comfort, I think is one. H/C is something that lowkey makes it’s way into everything I write, it’s cathartic and good. But I love a good story where there’s no ‘happy’ ending, where you have to sit with the pain or misery or sense of grief—not necessarily because the thesis is all misanthropic and cynical but because, in that Tolkien-esque way, some wounds are simply too deep to heal, sometimes grief and love are the same feeling, and it just…is. But so far I haven’t been able to write a story like that how I want to ;_;

But then also. You know. Pain. Just pain for the sake of pain, for the sake of feeling a big emotion without consequence. That’s good and cathartic too. I haven’t been able to write that yet either.

[apathyosis]

ask game: 1, 2, 4 and 43

1 ; who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Uhhh , meta knight , dedede , kirby , magolor , pyro tf2 , probably more but thats all i can think of rn HAH

Silly little guys that are like parental figures , or just super silly and huggable HEHE

2 ; lighter or matches?

Lighters are hard for me to work , i like matches better tbh

4 ; which cryptyd being do you believe in?

Uhh , hm , good question ,

Definitely the native American ones , and the uh !! Mothman !!!

Tbh any really i think /lh

43 ; what’s your take on spicy foods?

I cant handle them alot but i like em , can really only eat them if im craveing it though

I like it :]c

[zz-chikorita]

Was going through old drafts of stuff and I was like "huh... why haven't I posted these yet?"

Then I went through and actually read them and was like "Oh... that's why." XD

[starrystar]

Transcription: 

39

Green and kind of mossy background

It would be a month before they could fit me in.

MD: It’s probably benign. Try not to worry about it.

SB: I’m not…you know what, no. I’m just gonna go ahead and worry about this one.

But at least insurance had approved everything and I was ready to start chemo.

SB: Meh, what’s another cancer on the pile more or less?

Since my hair was gonna fall out anyway, I got my stylist to give me a mohawk.

SB: Heh heh heh. I always wanted one of these and never had the nerve.

SB: Bitchin’

40

Red and black alcohol ink background

I was smug as hell about the mohawk

Textbox: I told my dad—70, career navy, never had hair that touched his collar—that I was getting one before it all fell out on its own. He fumbled his be supportive roll in the face of this, but my stepmom swooped in with the save.

Dad: But a mohawk…really?

Stepmom’s speech bubble over top of dad’s: Ooh! What color?

SB: Oh, just red and black. I don’t want to be ostentatious.

Textbox: This actually made it better. If you don’t freak out at least one parent, is it really punk? My stylist rose to the occasion, though we have to take off a couple inches before I could fit in the car. I still drove home hunched over the wheel like Quasimodo at a Dead Kennedys show.

Photo insert in the style of a Polaroid snapshot: a headshot of Ursula in nature, wearing a black leather jacket with studs on the shoulder. Her hair is a truly impressive mohawk that is bright red at the front and goes to maroon along the back. The mohawk is as tall as her whole face. Her expression is what you’d see when you look up “smug” in the dictionary.

Note: My stylist is a treasure and I told her I’d see her next year.

41

Purple and black background

I had a power port installed just under my collarbone

Speech bubble: Tell them you want USB-C!

SB: Oh, aren’t we clever…

Textbox: For some reason, the port really scared me. I think it was because my previous experience with internal hardware was with IUDs, which felt like a mule was kicking me in the cervix with spiked shoes. And everything online said there might be “some discomfort” for a few days, which is medical speak for “this is gonna hurt like a stone bitch.”

Also they were really paranoid about infection.

RN: If it gets red or swollen or hot, do not try to sleep it off. It will not get better.

42

Blue alcohol inks like dark water background

RN: This tube is running directly into your lower jugular. If it gets infected, that goes straight into the heart. Don’t pick at it.

SB: Yes’m.

Suddenly the tech’s story about bacteria strings whipping around like snakes seemed very personal.

Textbox: I confessed that I was afraid of the pain because of the IUD and the nurse told me that the state of reproductive pain care was barbaric and not to get her started. She promised the surgery wouldn’t hurt at all. She was telling the truth.

RN: Meet Mer. Fentanyl!

SB: Hello, Mr. Fen…hhhh…zzz

43

Yellow and orange spotty background

I came to with an inch-long incision on my chest and a vague memory of telling the nurses interesting animal facts.

RN: It was like National Geographic!

MR: Did she tell you about hyena genitals?

RN: She sure did!

There was indeed some discomfort then it just ached like hell

SB: I’m gonna find the guy who writes “some discomfort” and cause him some discomfort. With a baseball bat.

Note: The port is both A) a miracle of moder technology that is sparing my veins from untold horrors and B) more soreness and ache and trouble than anything else so far.

44

Bright, almost Pepto Bismol pink spotty background

Chemo class with the pharmacist went well

Rx: You’ll need to use a barrier method during intercourse for the first two days

Speech bubble overlapping previous: Tell me what will happen! Rash, radiation burn, death, what?!

Rx: Uh… We don’t know? There haven’t been any clinical studies.

SB: Ok, so if I write sex with a chemo patient into a book as an ingenious murder weapon—

Rx: Please don’t.

Something something “so outside the realm of possibility” something.

Note: This pharmacist was incredibly fabulous, in all senses of the word. We later bonded over a mutual love of Primus.

45

Full red watery background

And then it was time to face…the Red Devil

Insert ominous music here

Textbox: Actually, I sat in a recliner for about four hours, playing on my Switch and having to pee every twenty minutes. Finally they brought out two bigass syringes full of what looked like red Kool Aid, and injected them into the IV drip.

RN: Chew ice while we do this, it cuts down on mouth sores.

SB: Crunch crunch crunch

Ten minutes later

SB: Wow that urine sure is pink!

Textbox: Really, that was it. I was so pumped full of anti-nausea meds and steroids that I felt fine. This type of chemo didn’t even cause neuropathy so I didn’t need cold gloves or anything. I ate a Whopper on the way home.

Note: I have never been on steroids before and they are scarily amazing.

46

Light bluish gray watery background

I had so many nausea pills that I half-expected to be vomiting like a toddler on Space Mountain.

SB: Ok, I take this one twice a day on days 1, 2, and 3, this one once a day on days 2, 3 and 4, then as needed, this one as needed every six hours, this one as needed every eight hours…

Textbox: But I didn’t actually feel that bad. Don’t get me wrong—

I felt like ass on a stick for a few days

Textbox: But it was just like having the flu or something. I was tired and a little queasy and more vague than usual.

47

Purple and light yellow splotchy background, like early dawn

Textbox: It wasn’t like some special new level of sick. It wasn’t nearly as bad as food poisoning or that time I got swine flu.

I didn’t enjoy it but it wasn’t apocalyptic

SB: Eh, I’ve had worse.

Except for the constipation that was was apocalyptic

SB: Peristalsis, why as thou forsaken me?

Textbox: Pro Tip: If things are badly blocked up, taking laxatives only increases the pressure. It does not unblock things. But once they do unblock, you will have an experience.

Note: There is a moment in the dark hours of pre-dawn when you are alone in the bathroom with a nitrile glove, whatever lube you have on hand, and your God. This was not the fun version of that moment.

48

Yellow and orange spotty background like a vibrant sunrise

The second week I felt normal. My grandmother had chemo thirty years ago and it was horrific. It almost field weird that this wasn’t.

I took a lot of naps. My sense of taste went a little haywire. Cheesy powder flavor simply ceased to exist. Nacho Doritos tasted as if they were dipped in flour.

Cousin: Noo! We’re white people! Cheese is all we have!

SB: Right? Right?!

Note: At the time of this writing, I am 3/4ths of the way through the Red Devil (I start Taxol next) and aged white cheddar is the only cheese that I can taste. I have borne up well, but if that is taken from me, I may lose the will to go on.

The Saga Of Bob, Part 5: Chemo Time

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

In which our heroine finally gets an infusion of the finest toxic cocktails modern medicine can provide.

My stylist is a treasure and I told her I’d see her next year.

The port is both A) a miracle of modern technology that is sparing my veins from untold horrors and B) more soreness and ache and trouble than anything else so far.

This pharmacist was incredibly fabulous, in all senses of the word. We later bonded over a mutual love of Primus.

I have never been on steroids before and they are scarily amazing.

There is a moment in the dark hours of pre-dawn when you are alone in the bathroom with a nitrile glove, whatever lube you have on hand, and your God. This was not the fun version of that moment.

At the time of this writing, I am 3/4ths of the way through the Red Devil (I start Taxol next) and aged white cheddar is the only cheese that I can taste. I have borne up well, but if that is taken from me, I may lose the will to go on.

Thank you again to people who have transcribed the earlier Saga of Bob—you are heroes!

[thoughtfuladventures]

Tell me more 🍑

Jake Peralta x reader a one-shot

unleashed my inner creativity here and it got very unnecessarily detailed lol also not sure if it's completely plausible but--

future apologies if your name is Evelyn,, i just really that name c:

please enjoy! :)

You stepped out of the taxi and adjusted your uncomfortably short, red dress, gazing at the mansion-like house nervously. No, this wasn't some sort of family reunion, or a strange blind Tinder date; it was a case. Of course, at this point, you wished it was anything but.

This was a party hosted by famous 43-year-old author James Price, although to many others, he was said to be a notorious mob boss. Lately, New York had been victim to more than half a dozen homicides, and rumour has he and his henchmen were to blame. The trouble was that no matter how clever the police were, Price always appeared to be three steps ahead. There was never any evidence, and Price always had a solid alibi . . . however the same couldn't be said for his henchmen, but they frankly didn't seem to exist. They were never caught on camera and never left any fingerprints, so it was impossible for them to be identified and interrogated. Peralta joked that they lived in the shadows and were like the evil versions of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

You cleared your head by watching the last bit of sun finally sink below the horizon, and walked to a secluded spot where you and Jake had decided to meet. Hours prior, you two were instructed to pose as brother and sister, and discreetly infiltrate the event to ultimately uncover any information to put him and his unknown assassins behind bars. You just hoped for a smooth operation.

Jake rounded the corner, dashingly dressed in a suit and tie, and spotted you. "There you are, {Y/n}...Whoa." His eyes widened and he looked at you up and down, flustering slightly. "You...look really nice."

A blush rose to your face. "Thanks," you shyly beamed, smiling at him, "You look really nice too." In the time since you'd been transferred to the 99th precinct merely a week ago, you had begun to develop a crush on your colleague, but avoided mixing business with pleasure and kept your distance. You brushed off the compliment, too preoccupied to think about such trivial things at the moment, and figured out your plan—which was essentially: find some sort of incriminating evidence. Jake held out his arm, and you took a deep breath as he escorted you inside.

It was like something out of a movie. Numerous chandeliers glittered in the light, hanging from the high ceiling. Classy women and men mingled the floor as waiters serving champagne and fancy finger-foods slipped from one side of the room to the other. A live quartet played upon a raised platform, the sounds of classical pieces filling the air. You felt like you'd just stepped into a previous century.

Jake nudged you gently and nodded toward the other side of the room, where the man of the hour stood talking to several people. You two wandered over to him to introduce yourselves using your cover-identities.

"Mr. Price," Jake began in a posh voice as they shook hands, "Bruce McClane. It's a pleasure to meet you. I've read all your work."

"Oh?" the author questioned, impressed. "Which was your favourite?"

Jake paused, freezing up slightly, before slowly going with, "The first one." Quickly changing the subject, Jake pulled you closer to join the conversation. "Uh—This is my sister, Evelyn."

"Hello," you greeted with a smile. As soon as Mr. Price got a good look at you, he swiftly took your hand in his and kissed your knuckles.

"Hello indeed," he remarked, his eyes never leaving yours.

This might be easier than you thought.

"I'm just going to sneak off to the little boy's room for a moment," Jake lied to Mr. Price before facing you sternly, still in character. "Behave."

You quirked an eyebrow at him before he left, disappearing into a crowd of people. "You haven't read any of my novels, have you?" Mr. Price asked, bringing your attention back to himself.

"Actually, I have," you replied truthfully. "Only one, though; 'The Silver Locket'—but that's mostly because I'm a slow reader." Well, okay, the slow reader bit was a lie, but you really did pick up that book (albeit at random) after being assigned the case. What better way to study a villain than by what he writes.

Nevertheless, your small joke made him chuckle. "I do have them in audiobooks, too," he stated, smirking. "Read by yours truly."

"I just might look into that," you spoke, attempting to be flirtatious. "Your voice is so sexy. I'd love to hear it more often."

A waiter passed by and Mr. Price took two glasses of champagne from him, giving one of them to you. "As a matter of fact, I record them right here; just down the hall."

Staying in character, you popped your eyes and widened your smile. "Really? I'd love to see the studio!" Maybe he'd lead you somewhere important.

"No, I can't," he waved off in protest, lifting his gaze and grinning at no one in particular, "I have guests to talk to—"

"And I'm sure they'll be happy to wait!" you persisted, placing your hand on his arm. "Just five minutes!" He looked at you, hesitant. "Please?"

It was your please that made him finally give in. "Oh, alright," he agreed with a smirk, letting you take his arm as he led you down the hall to his recording studio.

Unlocking the door and extending an arm for you to enter, you were greeted by a strong smell of aged books and new recording devices. Shelves and shelves of novels lined three of the walls, while a large desk was pushed against the main one, papers strewn all over its surface. The recording equipment all sat in one of the room's corners next to a pile of acoustic foam squares, and a large poster of one of his other novels, 'Frozen Keys', was hung on the back of what looked like a closet door.

"This is where you record?" You acted awestruck, your eyes darting everywhere. "It looks more like a library!"

He chuckled at that, closing the door behind him. "I am a writer after all, Evelyn. I pretty much eat, sleep, and breathe books." He slowly walked up to you at the desk, where you were surreptitiously examining the papers. No such luck; they seemed to only be pages from his novels. It wasn't that surprising though. He didn't seem like the foolish type to leave important documents just lying around.

"Do you write in here too?" you asked, genuinely curious at this point.

"Sometimes," he answered honestly. "This is but one of my many inspirational places."

You could've sworn you saw the closet door open an inch; just out of the corner of your eye. "And what are your other places?"

"Well, out on the balcony, for one," he began, unaware that your gaze was on the closet door—which was actually opening—"but we've been talking about me for way too long." As Price slowly inched closer, you were forced into sitting upon the table's surface. "I want to know more about you and what goes on in that pretty little head of yours."

Jake's head peeked out of the closet as he attempted to leave, and he flashed you a small device in success. Price noticed your gaze and made to follow it—but you grabbed his arms, turning him to look at you. "No!" He was a little shocked until you quickly recovered, smiling kindly at him. "I'd much rather know more about your books."

He stepped closer, his hands attaching to your waist. "And I'd much rather taste your lips," he drawled with the hint of a smirk, leaning in.

Just then the door clicked open, signalling Jake's attempt at an exit, and Price heard. Acting quick, you grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, kissing him fervently. He groaned in pleasure, immediately distracted by your lips upon his. You hated this; you hated throwing yourself at him—no matter how decently attractive he looked. But Jake's cover was in danger, and in turn, so was yours.

Price grinned darkly through the kiss, attacking your lips as his hands roamed your body. You waited a few more seconds to make sure Jake had left, faking a moan just to keep Price happy, and then broke apart, breathing deeply. Realizing the case was, in fact, clear, you gently pushed him away and got off the desk, turning around to look at him solemnly. "I ought to head back."

Before you could reach the door, his hands gripped your wrists and pulled you back to him. "But things are just getting started, baby" he remarked, dipping down to pepper kisses along your neck.

"Mr. Price, my brother might be wondering where I am," you stated, adding a moan somewhere in the middle.

"Let him wonder. I'd rather you say my name again." His voice was deeper; more lust-filled. If it was under any other circumstance, you might've considered it attractive—hell, even sexy. But you had to leave. Who knew what would happen if he found out why you were really there.

Pulling away once again, you gave him a reassuring smile. "At least just let me tell him...I'll be a while." You gazed at him alluringly and smirked to emphasize the euphemism.

Thankfully, he let you go. "Make it quick."

As soon as you were out of sight, you quickly headed down the hall and made your way through the crowd toward the front door, your heart pounding.

You spotted Jake at the end of the drive and hurried up to him just as a taxi neared. "So you got something?" He nodded. You both got into the back seat and he handed you a USB drive as the car took off to the precinct.

"What did you find?" you questioned, curiously staring at the device as if you could see the evidence inside.

"Enough."

You waited a moment, but when he didn't continue, you knew something was wrong. Jake seemed a little distant than usual . . . colder, perhaps. It wasn't that difficult to figure out why. "Listen, me kissing him—It didn't mean anything," you began, but Jake stopped you.

"No, {Y/n}, I get it; you were distracting him so I could get out. Thanks for that, by the way."

"Of course," you replied a little quietly, though you had a feeling that he still didn't fully agree with your actions. You hesitated, nervous as to what you were about to tell him. "I would've liked it to be you instead." You trailed off as a small blush rose to your face, hoping he'd understand.

Jake suddenly turned in his seat and lifted your chin slightly as he leaned in, passionately pressing his lips to yours. You happily kissed back with a smile. When he broke apart, you looked at him curiously, jokingly asking, "How long have you waited to do that?"

He chuckled a little, dropping his gaze for a moment. "It's just, hearing him talk like that to you—and not being able to do anything about it..."

"I get it." You smiled kindly, holding his hand, before excitedly shaking him a little. "Now tell me about the evidence!"

He grinned. "The closet, the one that I was hiding in, it led to another room with everything. Most of the evidence was on his laptop, but there was also one of those photo walls, with red string? Linking his previous and next vics. I got a picture on my phone."

After showing you, he leaned back against the seat and you joined him, resting your head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you as best as he could, considering the seatbelts, but it was nice. He kissed the top of your head, and sighed. "Man, am I glad to get out of there. I almost broke, like, fifteen things."

~ * ~

a.n.:

i was given the idea of a jealous!Jake x reader, so i thought i'd give it a go.

and i felt like avoiding the {IMO} overly done, clichéd, "hit on by a creep in a bar and then saved by the protagonist" type of one-shot—not that those aren't good. i'm a sucker for them—but i decided to create this one instead.

also the novel titles are completely made up lol just like most of the things in this :P

oh and thanks for reading <33

k byeee

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 2 Episode 2: Signs Are Small Measurable Things, But Interpretations Are Illimitable

1. Pasty white Canadian salt is too spicy lookin Gilbert Blythe goes to Trinidad

2. He is strong though so that’s something

3. Bash telling him he’s so skinny a good breeze will knock him over

4. Gilbert’s favorite foods are potatoes and boiled crab with salt. White boy in the 1890’s syndrome

5. “What’s wrong with that :(“

6. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a hot pepper in my life.” “Yeah, you? Your little dry-up body would go to war against itself!” “I think I could handle it.”

7. The way Gilbert furrows his eyebrows and cocks his head back in like. Amused confusion

8. Bash’s sad childhood

9. Gilbert sees one horse and is like “beautiful I’m gonna pet it right now.” Like thanks farm boy

10. Gilbert being. Naive to how the world works, to the idea of racial prejudice because he’s never seen it

11. The fact that even though slavery has been outlawed in Trinidad, Bash’s mother never left

12. Anne’s sweater is so cute honestly

13. Nate using the “you’re more mature than most kids” tactic on Anne.

14. Him gaslighting her until she lies to herself about seeing it

15. Nate flirting with Marilla is SO WEIRD

16. Cinnamon toast

17. “Any morning we don’t find ourselves in the grave should be celebrated.”

18. The cuthberts refusing the gold testing until later on

19. Matthew giving Anne money for a new slate

20. “Technically I broke it defending myself!”

21. “Ah, children. So precious, so expensive.”

22. Anne trying to prove to Nate that she isn’t a child. This is all textbook grooming that I acknowledged before as a whole but I never looked at individual tactics

23. Anne’s horror stories of the haunted woods

24. Jerry grinning while he takes care of the horses

25. COLE!!!

26. I’m realizing that bash appeared so suddenly that I don’t think I acknowledged his first appearance so uh. BASH!!!

27. Billy’s great and witty insults such as “hey sissy” and “Rembrandt” how clever. Haha.

28. Coles got a strong arm

29. I like how Mr Phillips has a thing for theatrics but cannot read aloud in any interesting fashion

30. Cole is really good at art oh my god

31. Josie Pye being hardcore conservative :/

32. Mr Phillips needs to stop hyping himself up as if he’s good as his job

33. Anne picking up Cole’s book

34. Cole writing in excessively flourished cursive out of spite <3

35. Poor Gilbert is a hungry growing boy feed him!!!!

36. Gilbert eating a mango with skin because why waste it if it’s still edible also the way he bit into it was so funny I’m sorry

37. The way Gilbert holds his little newsboy bag with both hands

38. Gilbert calling hazel ma’am and her being surprised

39. “They don’t feed you on that boat, Gilbert Blythe?”

40. Poor bash getting sent away by his own mother in favor of, yet again, someone else’s children

41. Marilla doing her hair differently but not really knowing how to do it differently. It looks really nice though!

42. Matthew staring at her like she’s crazy

43. “There’s no boy more sad and handsome than Gilbert Blythe.”

44. Cole being alone reminding Anne of herself and therefore she just claims him into the group

45. The other girls sitting with them because Diana has strawberry tarts

46. Josie pretending to get invited to sit with the older girls

47. Cole being genuinely happy

48. “C-A-T- cat! Mr Cuthbert, look! I write English :D”

49. Matthew being genuinely proud of him but only bro he able to express it by giving him Anne’s old slate

50. Anne’s imagination is so vivid she practically believes it all herself, as do her friends

51. The dark furred fox!!

52. Mr Dunlop is such a good actor I genuinely thought when I first watched this show that his aunt really did die

53. Mr Dunlop giving her a fountain pen!!!

54. I hate when Nate is having a good day

55. Poor Eliza panicking to plan this party

56. Mary Joe having to explain that alcohol in cooking is only for flavorings

57. The fact that the word fiddlesticks existed back then is so funny

58. Mr Dunlop turning the piano music pages for Diana

59. Matthew keeping a wary eye on Nate

60. Every time they say Nathaniel I laugh

61. Mr Dunlop singing with Diana

62. Nate reusing the same pickup line to manipulate multiple women

63. Mr Barry signing all his money away

64. Thomas Lynde eating all the sweets

65. Mr Dunlop deciding genuinely to stay in Avonlea

66. Nate trying to steal from the Barry’s and getting caught by Minnie May

67. Nate complimenting Minnie May to manipulate her and getting kicked full force

68. Anne lighting 10 entire candles and then trying to sleep with them lit

69. DUNLOP PUNCHING NATE!!! GET HIM!!!

70. I was wrong it’s more like 18 candles

71. Marilla leaving her with a lit lamp for comfort

72. Eliza not feeling like her husband listens to her concerns for not only her but their children as well

73. “I couldn’t bear never seeing London again.”

74. Matthew accidentally sneaking up on people

75. “I want us to give Anne a farm, a while one. And she can dig it up after we’re gone, if she wants.”

76. Matthew telling Anne that she’s safe being enough to put her to sleep

77. Gilbert and Bash’s dynamic is so great

78. Gilbert laughing about how Anne hit him over the head

79. “She should’ve done more than whack you.” “Wonder if I’ll ever see her again.”

80. Cole drawing Anne because the ink spots remind him of her freckles!!!!

81. Marilla saying good morning to Jerry. She’s come a long way from episode 1

82. Matthew giving Jerry the old slate and some chalk to practice English on!!!!!

83. Anne’s pen spilling ink when she finally tries writing a letter to Gilbert

[hornime]

iii. ripe | akaashi keiji x f!reader

ripe for the picking: masterlist

warnings: 18+, fingering (f!receiving), mention of gore but nothing actually gory, light degradation

w/c: 3.4k holy shit

a/n: okay so the dashes at the very bottom in the text messages are supposed to represent the shit you can’t really read. so yeah just clearing that up LOL. anyway here’s where the rose-colored glasses start coming off...

you've never been happier to attend a university that prides itself on experimental curriculum. wednesdays, as per a new mandate by the dean of students, are half-days, meaning that your first class of the day is at two in the afternoon.

also meaning that you technically don't have to get up until noon.

you awake with a groan and a crude stretch, indiscriminately irritated at the world for forcing you to exist for yet another day, when last night's interaction materializes into your thoughts.

blissful, you're almost in a trance as you shower and get dressed before picking up your phone.you hesitate for a second before shooting off a text to akaashi.

[12:42 PM] you: morning sleepyhead

[12:43 PM] akaashi: how am i the sleepyhead? you're the one that almost fell asleep in class

you scoff, already smiling.

[12:43 PM] you: i was NOT falling asleep

[12:43 PM] you: i was just resting my eyes

[12:43 PM] akaashi: bullshit

you're just about to type out a response when an incoming call suddenly flashes across your screen: akaashi.

you quickly pick up, pushing the green accept button while simultaneously cursing yourself for acting too hastily.

"hey," you say, cringing at how worn your voice sounds.

"mornin', or afternoon, i guess," he replies. his voice is gravelly, laced with the rough edge of sleep. it automatically sends a wave of heat to your cheeks and a prick of pleasure between your legs as you imagine what that voice would sound like in your ear, his face buried in your neck, your chests pressed together—

stop it, you chastise yourself. i can't be horny right now.

"do you wanna do something today?"

his question catches you off guard. "i, yeah, uh, yeah, totally," you stammer. "what did you have in mind?"

"dinner and a movie."

you hum, already worrying about what you're going to wear. and also trying not to squeal like a schoolgirl at the fact that your crush just asked you out. kind of.

"since you're new to the area, you probably haven't had the best onigri in the world, which is a genuine shame."

you snort. "okay, and what about the movie?"

"i did my research last night," he says defensively. "there's a new thriller in theaters."

"are you hoping that i'll fall into your arms every time there's a jumpscare?"

it's like you can hear his perfect smile through the phone.

"if i'm lucky, yes. but it'll most likely be the other way around," he chuckles. "i'm not the best with scary stuff."

you talk, exchanging quips and flirty comments, until you absolutely have to leave for class or you'll be late. 

you can barely pay attention during your two afternoon courses, body jittery and excited for your—what would you call this? a date? yeah, a date—your date, bouncing your knee and drumming your fingers on the desk, much to the chagrin of your classmates.

akaashi's waiting for you after your class with a grin. he wordlessly grabs your hand, lacing his fingers through yours, before pulling you next to him. the students filing out behind you give you weird looks as they see your hand in his—quiet murmurs seem to be crawling out from everywhere as it seems dozens of pairs of eyes are focused on you. 

akaashi doesn't seem to pay them any mind, so you shrug and ignore them.

and out of the corner of your eye, you see konoha staring at akaashi with a focus so strong it looks like he wants to kill him.

you walk to the onigri shop a couple of blocks away, akaashi raving about the quality of the food so passionately it makes you giggle.

"the food's that good, huh?"

"oh, it's amazing," he beams, looking at you. "i think you'll really like it."

you really want to kiss him. you barely even realize what you're doing before you're leaning forward, tangling your fingers in the front of his shirt, and pressing your lips against his. when you pull away, he's smiling and gives you an intrigued look that says why?

"i don't know," you respond airily to his unasked question, gently yanking his arm so that he continues walking. "just felt like it."

he's right, you think, as you sink your teeth into white rice and salty salmon. the food is amazing.

from his seat in front of you, akaashi smiles as you make a satisfied noise after finishing your meal.

your appetite is entirely satiated by the time you make your way to the movie theater. the two of you awkwardly step over limbs and duck your heads down as your try to get to your seats, which, so very conveniently, are in the middle of a row.

you get shushed and hissed at, but hey, being twenty-five minutes late certainly doesn’t make you popular amongst other movie-watchers.

the film is tacky—a low-budget, highly-advertised, almost two-hour compilation of fake blood and screams so dramatized it hurts. it takes everything in you not to laugh at the absurdity; there are a couple times where you accidentally let loose a giggle and have to slide lower in your seat to avoid the glares of the people in front of you.

akaashi, on the other hand, isn't doing so well. the poor thing's got his eyes as wide as saucers, and his fingers are practically trembling as he fiddles with them. you take note of his predicament, watching the reflection of the movie screen in the whites of his eyes. he jerks in shock as you lean closer, resting a palm on his shaking hands.

"do you wanna go?" you whisper.

you're giving him an out. he looks so cute like this, almost folded into himself, and it's endearing that he planned this for you knowing how he’d react. but you'd also like him to not be scared shitless.

he clears his throat. "nah, i love, um," he recoils a tiny bit as a blood-curdling scream rings through the surround-sound system. "gore. and stuff. love it."

you snicker. "you don't have to impress me, akaashi. it's just a movie."

he shakes his head a little too quickly. when he speaks, his voice is rushed.

"psh, i'm not doing this to impress you. i love thrillers. they have such great—" he flinches as one of the characters drops dead, "—entertainment value."

you hum in fake understanding, amused at his poor attempt at a cover-up.

"okay, well, i want to go. are you coming?"

akaashi looks at you like you're an angel. "i mean, sure. if you really want to. because i'd be totally fine with staying."

you snort, rolling your eyes, and grab his hand.

the two of you duck out of the theater, valiantly ignoring the occasional grumbles from other movie-goers.

akaashi visibly relaxes when you walk out of the building, far from that mess of a movie.

his hand stays in yours long after it seems necessary.

by the time you reach your building, after a delayed bus ride and a bookstore window shopping stop too many, it's pitch black, the only sounds accompanying the gentle conversation between akaashi and you being the chirping of crickets and rustling of wind. his fingers, which had been comfortably resting in yours this whole time, slip from your grasp as he waits for you to walk up the steps and wave goodbye.

you don't budge.

you like spending time with him. you like these cute, innocent moments of stolen kisses and whispered jokes. you like not knowing too much about him and you like knowing a little more about him each second that passes. 

you're greedy, and you want more.

you want so much more.

you want his voice in your ear and his hands on your body and god, it's been so long since you've felt someone else's touch—

"do you wanna," you swivel away from the door so that you're facing him, but your gaze quickly falls to focus on the sidewalk. you're so nervous, it's pathetic. "do you wanna come in?"

akaashi raises his eyebrows like he can't believe his luck—for more reasons that one.

“you sure?”

not trusting yourself to speak, you nod.

"yeah," he breathes. "i'd love to."

the moment you close the door to your dorm room, he's pushing your back against the wall, hands trailing up your sides to rest on either side of your face and bring your lips to his.

your fingers tangle in his hair and you pull him closer, closer yet. the hot atmosphere of panting and breathing makes your head spin and a rush of heat pulse at your clit. you lean back for a second, just to breathe, but it's like akaashi can't even stand that; his lips travel down the curve of your jaw to nip at your neck.

you shift your body just the slightest and your knee brushes against something hard. akaashi groans into your flesh, a raw, desperate sound, and the pulse between your legs grows more insistent.

"bed," you whisper, scrunching his shirt between your fingers to pry him off of you. "bed, c'mon."

he hums in agreement, swinging the two of you around and walking you backwards until your knees hit the edge of the mattress. you squeal as your back bounces against the blankets, and akaashi chuckles, the vibrations a small rumbly sensation against your pulse point that makes your skin ripple with goosebumps.

he crawls over you as your shuffle upwards, your legs parting easily to make room for his.

akaashi's gaze is indiscernible as it rakes over you, spread out and ready beneath him.

his heated palms slip under the hem of your shirt and up your stomach, and you shudders as he cups your breast over the fabric of your bra.

"so pretty," he murmurs.

you lift yourself up for just a second to rip off your shirt, and in the moment he gets, akaashi shifts his hand to your back, and with a flick of his wrist, unhooks your bra.

"woah," you say dumbly. "did you just take my bra off with one hand?"

he chuckles at your question. "i played volleyball in high school. i'm good with my hands."

as if that explains anything.

you furrow your eyebrows as a playful smile teases your lips. "but surely you had practice with other gir—ah!"

you voice gets cut off as he places pressure on your pussy with his palm, deliciously teasing your clit.

"i don't wanna talk about other girls," he mumbles, fingers already creeping under the waistband of your pants. "let's talk about you."

the confused noise you make morphs into a whimper as he tugs your pants off, your legs kicking wildly in the air and sending the garment flying. he sucks in a breath at the sight of you in nothing but a pair of panties, chest heaving as you look up at him with needy eyes.

"for one thing, you're such a fucking tease."

you open your mouth to respond, but his thumb easily finds your clit through the fabric of your underwear—how is he so good at this?—and any retort of yours gets lost in your breathy exhale.

"don't act all confused. kissing me like that last night and then leaving me hanging? had to fucking take care of it myself while thinking about you and this fucking pussy."

his ring fingers hooks into the gusset of your panties, pulling it to the side. you squirm as cool air hits your cunt. even worse, with the way that akaashi's lightly playing with your clit with that hungry look in his eyes, you know that you're dripping.

"you're so wet," he notes, as the pads of his fingers dip under the cloth and brush against your naked sex. they prod at your entrance and you can't help the way your hips buck up in response.

"more," you beg, hand coming down to wrap around his wrist and urge his fingers in deeper. "don't tease aka—"

"—say keiji. and why shouldn't i tease? as if you weren't doing the exact same thing to me?"

"k-keiji, please." the vestiges of pleasure seem to taunt you, the fleeting touches whizzing through your veins only to dissipate into nothing. "please, i want it so bad."

he sighs heavily, almost as if he's disappointed in you.

"you're such a fucking slut," he says, while granting you temporarily relief and slipping his fingers in to the first knuckle. "so desperate."

your brows furrow. you're not... particularly one for degradation, but it sounds good coming out of akaashi's mouth.

"can't help it," you whine, playing along. "fuck me, please."

his fingers fill you in one swift thrust and you keen, throwing your head back onto the sheets as the pressure suddenly feels so fucking delicious.

your knees lock up as he drags them in and out and in and out, the slick sounds of his palm slapping against your clit acting as tell-tale signs of the way you're so insanely turned on right now. akaashi pushes against a gooey spot inside you and you practically scream, pussy gushing as another wave of arousal pulls you under.

his movements become more fevered; your thighs almost clamp over his forearm to slow his actions but he keeps them apart with his knees.

"o-oh fuck," you moan, a sound that's ripped straight from your throat. "g-gonn—"

"gonna cum?" he asks, voice low.

you nod your head helplessly, vision blurring with the intensity of your oncoming orgasm. "so hard."

he adds a third finger and your stomach burns at the stretch, but it's enough to send you over, breath hitching as you cum and practically see white. your back arches off the sheets and your ears ring.

"fuck." you hear him mutter under his breath. he removes his fingers from your pussy and you whine at the loss. "lemme just—"

there's the shuffle of clothing as akaashi shoves his pants and boxers down, resting his cock in his hand. he strokes leisurely, and when you seem to come back down to earth, he leans forward with the intent of lining himself up.

through your muddled haze, you somehow manage to remember the golden rule of college hookups: protection.

"wait." you place a hand on his chest and lightly push, blinking away the blurriness in your vision. "condom."

his jaw hardens into a line and his eyes lock onto yours. for a split second, a fire burns behind his pupils, and not the lustful kind. he looks almost... angry. pissed off. like you're taking a dig at his pride or something.

it takes everything in you not to shrink away.

but just as quick as it's there, it's gone.

"do you have one?"

you shake your head. "didn't think i'd be getting laid this early into transferring," you admit.

he groans. "i don't have one either."

there's an awkward silence between you. you avert your gaze from his, not really sure what to do with yourself. an uncomfortable feeling solidifies between your legs as your cum and sweat cool and stick to your skin.

he sighs exasperatedly, impatiently running a hand through his hair. 

"...do you not trust me or something?"

you furrow your eyebrows, not sure where he's going with this, because this sure as hell isn't the guy that you know, well, at least have begun to know. you choose your words carefully, voice quiet yet firm. 

"it's not about trust," you start, "it's just—"

he cuts you off almost immediately, shaking his head as if to scatter unwanted thoughts. "i know, i know, i'm sorry."

you blink. what's with the sudden change in attitude?

"i'm just not comfortable with it," you finish.

"totally understandable." he smiles weakly. "i'm sorry, got a little out of my head there for a second."

you nod, fully aware that whatever salacious mood had been saturating the atmosphere had evaporated, at least, for tonight. 

you're not sure how to feel: you do trust akaashi—at least, as much as you can trust someone you've known for what, three days now?—and, well, you trusted him enough to invite him up here. you trusted him enough to tell him about your past. you trusted him enough to let him fuck you with his fingers.

you trust him to be who he says he is. that's not naive, you're sure of that. he's a star student, well-liked, and a great person—what's there not to trust?

you ignore the part of you that knows that, if he was trying to pull something on you, you're pretty sure you'd break. you're not sure of how much more betrayal you can take.

shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you drag your eyes up to meet his. his gaze is so sincere, he seems so apologetic, so understanding of his actions and the consequences, that you can't help but forgive him on the spot.

what was there to forgive him for, anyway? it's not like he did anything wrong.

"do you... want to watch a movie?"

he smiles, grateful that, for the second time today, you've given him an out. 

"i'd love to. anything to cleanse my palate of that," he shudders, "thriller."

you giggle, grabbing a tissue from your desk to wipe yourself clean, a bit embarrassed. akaashi takes the hint and looks away, intently studying your ceiling tiles to give you a sliver of privacy.

within ten minutes, you've got a laptop balancing on one of your legs and one of his, the two of you awkwardly laying next to each other. he's treating you as if you've got a bubble around you, his arms uncomfortably folded across his chest.

you almost want to laugh at how juvenile it all seems.

"you can touch me, you know," you say teasingly.

his head snaps to face yours, his cheeks reddening. "yeah i, i knew that." gingerly, he raises an arm to drape it around your shoulders, and you lean into the touch. you squirm lightly, relishing in how his chest seems warm under your cheek.

the movie, some philosophical adaptation that blew critics away at some festival that akaashi likes, is barely past the opening scene when your eyelids flutter shut. you know you shouldn't sleep, especially during some boring-but-you-should-pretend-it-isn't movie that your crush, of all people, turned on, but you can't help it.

that orgasm just sucked all your energy right out of you. and akaashi is so, so comfy. and your eyelids are so, so heavy. and you're just so, so tired...

it's a few hours later when you crack your eyelids open, subtlety flexing the muscles in your arm. akaashi's asleep next to you, his mouth slightly parted as his chest rises and falls.

you take a few indulgent seconds to study him, the way his hair frames his beautiful face, the way his skin seems to glow in the orange light of the streetlamp streaming through your dorm window. your hand seems to rise on its own accord with the intent of brushing a stray strand from his eyelids, you're reaching out, so close you can feel the heat radiating from him—

a flash of light from his phone, which is resting on his stomach, captures your attention. you squint at the sudden brightness, bleary eyes scanning the screen. the bubbles of text messages pop up, and before you can stop yourself, you're reading them.

you can barely make out a couple of words—it's late, you're tired, and you're practically tearing up from the harsh light—but when you can make out makes your mouth twist in confusion.

[02:04 AM] b--u-o: if -t's not penetration, i- doesn't count

[02:04 AM] b--u-o: y-- kno- that akaashi

[02:06 AM] kon---: i f--ki-g h-te yo-

[02:06 AM] kon---: y-u do t--s s-it as if you--e -ot al-e-dy win-i-g

you blink, trying to clear your vision, but by the time you do, his screen has gone dark. you half-want to tap it again just to read the messages, but you try to move your arm and it won't budge—it's fallen asleep under the weight of your body.

lethargy seems to crash over you like a wave, and before you know it, your head is falling back down onto the pillow, eyes gently shutting.

sleep comes easy, the words of akaashi's texts spiraling away into your subconscious like some dream you won't remember. 

anyway, all that matters right now is the heat of the guy beside you, and the heavy thumping of your heart.

[teejaysnow]

Translation: Manusoverlevering, part 2

Here's part 2 of the youtube video translation, from 24:21 to 43:23 (also, there will probably be two more parts, rather than just one - otherwise this will begin to feel too much like work...)

Any mistakes are there for your enjoyment - I'm a Swede translating Norwegian into English, which gives me two extra languages to føkk up. Ooops.

Also, there are a lot of starts, stops, pauses and unfinished sentences going on during the panel - I haven't cleaned that up, you're getting it just as it was said. So, yeah. Sorry, not sorry.

Anyway, translation (hopefully...) under the cut because, once again, it's looooong...

[link to part 1]

Christopher Pahle: It’s nice when scenes are so well improvised that it seems like you’ve just been really good at writing them.

Julie Andem: I… Yeah. I remember that scene, or the filming of that scene as really exhausting, it was like at the end of the day and everyone was tired, and I know that there’s a really funny blooper from that scene where we’re running out of time to shoot so I’m trying to communicate during the take, I think it was to Marlon, that he should move, and then the whole group began to move, so they remained standing in a small herd. So it was a lot of not very good stuff we returned home with from that scene too.

Henrik Holm: And a lot of takes.

J: Yeah, there were quite a few takes of it too.

David Sjøholt: And you were… you were doing it after… after another one. We had an earlier recording that day, so it was like…

J: Yeah, it was pretty late in the evening when we did it.

D: Mmm.

J: But, yeah…

C: But, but that reaction where you suddenly realise who Even is is first of all really, really funny, but it’s also nice how it’s played out, how did that come to be?

D [shrugs]: I don’t know. I really don’t know, it’s just like… how improvisation works, it just happens and it just… I remember so well, um… when it happened, you got so flustered that you said ‘Henrik’, you didn’t say that your name was Even.

H: I think we all said our own names in that scene.

J: Marlon says Marlon, doesn’t he?

H: Yeah, he does.

D: That too, but it was, yeah…

J: But you are a bit, like, what’s so great with you is that as soon as you get a bit bored because nothing happens, like I think, if I’d have to guess, what you felt here is that you felt that Tarjei, or, slash Isak, wasn’t mocked enough, or it being embarrassing enough for him…

D: Maybe, I don’t remember… I guess it was… Yeah, that was probably it. It was so little that was happening.

H: But it… I remember very well that we did it so many times. And you’re very good at that because you always dared to do different things because you were the character that you were. I remember that you always played around with, like, how we boys communicated with each other, the comments you threw in were different from scene to scene, right? So it’s like you say, when you said that I got completely flustered and was just like, “uh, Henrik?” 

D: I’m very…

H: So after a while I remember that it became our task, so… in that scene I remember hearing Marlon about to say “Maaaarrrlllo-” and I’m just like [speaks very quickly] “pleased to meet you”.

D: That’s true, and it’s like...

J: You said it in slow mo.

D: But… I shouldn’t sit here and be praised, because that part is really easy to have. It’s you…

H: You should get all the praise.

D: …who should get all the praise because you have all the boundaries, I can pretty much do as like, it’s just like [he shrugs].

H: Yeah, but that’s, like, so subjective. You think it’s easy, but for most people, having that sense of humour, timing, and playfulness… that really did a lot for the boy squad and what kind of mood they were in.

J: Definitely.

[Audience and panel applauds an embarrassed David]

C: Is there anyone of you that doesn’t like to improvise? I have a feeling it’s a condition to be a part of Skam.

J: A bit, yes. Really.

H: It was part of the audition.

J: Yeah, yeah. There was a lot of impro during the audition.

C: Carl Martin, you also like it, right?

Carl Martin Eggesbø: Yeah, I really like to improvise, yeah. It almost became a bit like, when we recorded it was a bit because I, too, failed to learn the script. So then I had to, yeah… mm.

C: Are there any improvised scenes that were left on the floor of the editing room that you’re missing? Where you’ve thought, “Damn that that isn’t in”?

J: There is so much good left on that floor.

C: Is there anything in particular that you can think of? Or the rest of you?

J: No… or can you?

CM: No, nothing spec… or, like, it was really exciting to see when the clips were released what had been selected. Because I just remember, at least for my part, it was… there were so many different clips. So it was really exciting to see what was kept in and what worked and contributed to, well, adding on to the story.

C: Right. How many times did you record the coffee spitting… How many takes for that?

Ulrikke Falch: That was pretty fast, wasn’t it? 

J: Yeah, I think so. It was… you were totally awesome. In the script it just says something like…

U: We’re a couple.

J: …Vilde and Magnus are a couple and in love in an annoying way. I think it says.

D: Spit coffee and…

U: I spit coffee, yeah.

CM: Don’t you remember that?

D: Yeah, I remember it but I just remember that it was kind of different, and…

J: Ulrikke…

U: You liked it.

D: Noooo.

U: It seemed like you were in on it.

D: Yeah, I was, but…

H: You liked it.

U: You opened your mouth.

H: You enjoyed it.

D: It was a lot of fun. Definitely.

J: And Ulrikke is absolutely amazing…

D: Yeah, fucking hell.

J: …at impro, like, she’s made me laugh so much on set that I’ve peed myself a little bit, like it is, it is completely random what comes out, like it’s a party. It’s like I can’t make myself say “cut” even if we’re running out of time because I just want to sit back and watch what comes out, what her next strategy to keep the scene running will be. It’s just so much fun.

C: What is going on in your mind when you’re doing it?

U: It’s images, images appear and I just follow the images. Um.

CM: That is… What does that mean, I can’t…

U: No, I can, I can begin and then I see a light and I think “what else gives off light” and then there are fourteen different alternatives and then I pick one of them and then there are new alternatives there, and…

J: Yeah, there’s that kind of association, you’re really good at association, and it’s just like, “how did you end up here?”

C: Don’t the rest of you have any techniques like that?

H: I don’t recognise myself there. But is it acting in general or is it the character?

U: It’s mostly Vilde, it’s when you know the character.

H: Mmm. Because when you say it like that, then I can really see it. And you do it so brilliantly.

D: That was really wild to listen to. Cool. Wow. A light.

U: There are images.

D: Like, a light.

J: It’s not always a light, though, it’s an image of a light, it’s just an example, it’s not always a light.

U: Yeah, of cou… there’s an improvisation light in the far distance and then I follow it…

D: Whoa… whooooa… light…

U: No, that’s not it.

H: Yeah, but you are so present, that’s what it is. You’re so present that you can just stand there and just pick things from… from… who knows where it comes from, if you understand what I mean? 

U: Yeah, but that’s the thing, that I’m good at improvising on my own but I’m not so good at improvising with others. And I never felt like I was. Julie, can’t you say that I was? No, that wasn’t what I meant.

J: Well, now that you mention it, you really sucked… No, you were really fantastic at it. And I think it’s really a lot of fun, especially in scenes with Lisa. Because Lisa doesn’t really like to improvise, but she’s really good at accepting everything that comes at her in a natural way. That scene where you’re talking about her having chlamydia in her eye. I think it said in the script, “discuss if Eva has chlamydia in her eye”, but when you began, like, “and you’ve touched your foo foo and then you’ve touched yourself there”, and how Lisa manages to keep a straight face in that scene, because I was completely destroyed, so…

H: There were a lot of times that we burst into laughter…

J: Yeah, there were some…

H: …I have to say. There must be some bloopers of that.

J: Yeah.

C: There is something else that is in the script that I think is very funny and interesting. So we can go back to the very first screenshot we planned to show. It’s from the Gabrielle scene, where you’ve written down, “I spent a long time looking for a song that Even would be feeling exhilarated by and it was really totally random that it was Fem Fine Frøkner but I ended up with it because the lyric was on point and Henrik managed to get exhilarated to it”. Have you… there it is, right. What I found interesting there is that what’s in the script is that it is Maroon 5.

[Julie laughs]

H: I never saw that.

J: Okay, but this has to be said, Maroon 5 is, like, my insert for anything daft. So in the script for the first season when William is coming up behind Noora, it also says “Noora puts on Maroon 5” because I just put that in and then I find a song afterwards. But it was never going to be Maroon 5, because it had to be over a minute and we didn’t have the rights, it had to be Norwegian.

C: Yeah, right. So that’s the reason that it says…

J: Yeah.

C: Yeah. Right. It would have become a pretty different scene if it had been Maroon 5.

J: Yeah. I really wanted Roxette, but we didn’t get…

C: Which one?

J: Yeah, what was it, name a title.

C: Joyride? That’s my…

J: Yeah, maybe.

C: …goto karaoke song.

J: Yeah. Maybe it was Joyride. Isn’t that, like, really upbeat so you feel like dancing to it?

C: Yeah, it’s very, like… maybe not dancing to it? I’m not going to sing it.

J: Are you sure?

H: That was what I said when she showed me Fem Fine Frøkner. I am not going to sing this.

J: But you did it, though.

C: You did it. 

H: I did it.

J: Just like Christopher now will sing Roxette, go ahead.

C: Umm…

J [laughs]: I’m just kidding.

C: It’s the one, “Hello, you fool, I love you”...

J: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it was that one.

C: Yeah, yeah. [Julie hums a bit of the melody] That would have been something.

J: Because it had to be, yeah, yeah, but that would have worked in that scene. 

C: Yeah, yeah.

J: If we’d had the rights. Which we didn’t.

C: Yeah, because it’s only Norwegian songs that you…

J: That can be over one minute.

C: You’re clear on how lucky you are that you can use so much…

J: Yeah.

C: Um. I just have to rifle through here again. Yeah, uh, here. Carl Martin. It is back to Eskild and episode five which includes your big Pride monologue. Where you get to know some new sides, or more layers to Eskild. What were your thoughts when you got that script?

CM: Umm… There was a bit of a process in the beginning of that because I remember that we talked about how such a monologue, such a text, would come, and it was, like, I thought it was really cool because, like, when I was cast as Eskild, we talked a bit in the beginning that it was important that Eskild didn’t turn into a stereotypical, uuh…

J: Wooden?

CM: Yeah, wooden. Like a typical gay boy that it often becomes, yeah… often on film. And I remember that you asked me what I wanted and what I thought and we went back and forth and you sent me a text and I was a bit, like, I didn’t really know what I felt about the theme in a way? Um. And then I also fretted over doing that monologue because Eskild had been such a funny character all the way. And then he’ll suddenly become someone completely different. And also, during that scene he goes from joke, joke, joke to, like, deeply serious. So that was, like, really tough in a way too, because I felt like it was really strict what I said, that I thought Eskild was really strict with Isak in that … in that scene. Um.

J: I remember that I sent it to you, I have, because it’s been a while since I read that chat, I sent, before I sent the script, I sent just the monologue and wanted your input. And one day passed. And two days passed. And three days passed, and I never got anything back and I thought, like, oh f… he hates it, I’m going to have to rewrite it, and then I messaged you, and you were, like, “Yeah, I’ve read it. Shit…” A bit like you’re talking about it now, like, “I don’t really know, but it’s important…” and then you talked about it both from Eskild’s point of view and from Isak’s point of view. 

CM: Yeah, because it was a bit, like, for me it was a bit, like, what’s the… why is that monologue important, because it’s like, “Oh, gay rights, hallelujah”, in a way? Why is it that Eskild gets so… take it so… gets so serious just because of this? And I felt implicated in a way because I felt like I could just as well have been Isak. At the time that I got the monologue, I didn’t think Isak’s questions and the view that he held, I didn’t think it was that weird in a way? And when I had to act as counterpart to that, I had to take some time to understand it. And that’s why I didn’t answer, because I didn’t know what to say to how I felt about it. Umm. And it’s really not until after that episode was released that I, like, see, like, and I’ve talked to people who this monologue has really hit home with, that I’ve understood what it… what it really… what it really means. Umm. So in a way it was both an acting challenge, but also a challenge for me as a human in a way, that I should jump into it in a way. Because those thoughts that he… that Eskild had… I thought that he was this simple, nice guy, but he… he… suddenly he isn’t, and then I had to… it was also a bit, like, yeah, a bit of a turn.

J: Yeah, we had to do a turn with Eskild’s backstory. And it was, like, Eskild’s backstory was on its way into the script a couple of times but never made it in season three, or any season. Um. But we talked a bit about what he had to, what he probably had experienced to be where he was.

CM: Mmhm.

C: Is it something you can talk about?

J: Um. No, I don’t think, I think we should keep it a secret.

C: We’ll save that to…

J: We’ll save it.

C: …for Eskild’s season.

J [giggles]: Yeah, we’ll save it for Eskild's season.

C: But it is interesting, as you say, that he was, that the perception of Eskild was that he was funny and sarcastic and… sassy, and then suddenly he gets an extra layer, a little like what happens to Vilde in the last episode at home with her mother, although we’ve seen more seriousness in Vilde, but, what do you think that kind of… umm… Does it make it harder to laugh at the characters after you’ve found out those kinds of things, or? Does it add something extra that might…

CM: I think it’s just [cuts himself off because he thinks Ulrikke is about to speak. Ulrikke fakes a yawn instead.] I think it’s just [makes a face at Ulrikke] No, I think that it was really nice and I think it’s, I think Eskild’s had a lot of funny scenes after. So, so I really think, at least for Eskild’s part, I think it was super important and it was also, like we talked about in the beginning when Eskild was created, that even if he’s fussy and sarcastic, that doesn’t mean that you’re a simple person.

J: No, and also, has everyone forgotten how Eskild was with Noora in season two when she lies in bed and Eskild comes in and tells her that she doesn’t have to do everything on her own? You have actually seen that Eskild has a side that isn’t just silly and when it comes down to it, he can… he will be there. If he has to. He doesn’t really want to be there for long, but… but… but he realise when he has to go there.

C: Right, but… but you can also see in that scene that… you act it with a lot of heat and it is very clear that it is a sorrow in Eskild’s life that you might not have thought a lot… ah, yeah… he’s got… um, happy-go-lucky guy, and then something like that appears, it was a leading question, I think it adds a lot to the character, so that’s… I didn’t mean to set a trap for you, but… it is pretty interesting and pretty… I think… now I’ll just start talking here, but I think that it’s… when it comes, when such a thunderous speech comes from that kind of character, I think it hits a lot harder because you don’t see it coming. 

U: We had, at the beginning, because for me, it’s a lot about telling a story, and you have taught us a lot about that. At least I feel like I’ve learnt a lot about it. In the first season, the comments started flowing in with “Vilde sucks” and “Vilde is a bitch” and “Vilde is annoying”, so me and Julie talked a lot about that. First advice was to not read the comments, but I still felt that it hurt. But then, I think, at one point or another, you made a comment that was like, “I can make everyone love you just via one scene and I can get everyone to hate Noora just via one line”. That there is something with the way a story is told that you have a lot of power over. Yeah.

J: Yeah.

U: Yeah.

J: That’s true. 

[okay-computer]

i've got two inquiries. i'm looking for a colour accurate & bright display, 13 inches, doesnt have to be a powerhouse but i want to run krita/clip studio. i have a desktop for more powerful things like triple a games & video editing. below is what i'm considering for myself. 400 nits, 100%srgb (adobe is better but srgb is good enough) medium-sized ssd, windows 10 pro. my budget's $1000 & i need a windows machine.

HP Premium Envy 13 Laptop | 13.3" FHD IPS 100% sRGB Display | 11th Gen Intel 4-Core i5-1135G7 (> i7-1065G7) | 8GB DDR4 512GB SSD | Backlit Fingerprint B&O USB-C Win10 Pro Silver + 32GB Micro SD Card https://a.co/d/efuaE8m

what kind of gaming laptop would run easier tasks like minecraft, roblox, etc. as my friend wants to buy one for her brother. under $500 is ideal, new or used. i know that's a difficult ask. i'm thinking a used/refurb acer nitro? he needs it for high school courses as well. thanks!

in addition to my double question post. just going to add a few more laptops that would support my needs. forgot to mention i need it for notes in college, so fan noise, battery life, durability, and portability are important. around 400 nits of brightness or above. lit keyboard isn't necessary but is nice. i appreciate it!

Acer Swift 3 Thin & Light Laptop | 14" Full HD IPS 100% sRGB Display | AMD Ryzen 7 5700U Octa-Core Processor | 8GB LPDDR4X | 512GB NVMe SSD | WiFi 6 | Backlit KB | FPR | Amazon Alexa | SF314-43-R2YY https://a.co/d/26z6SFN

So it looks like you've got some pretty specific needs and pretty specific ideas about what you want, I'm not sure how much I can help you there. I can say that of the three computers I'm seeing linked, I'd be a bit concerned about spending that much on a 5-year-old laptop (the one with the 8th gen i5) considering that the other specs aren't all that impressive. Other than that, those all seem to be fine machines for the money.

Displays are going to display different colors; what you can do regardless is to calibrate your display. Not to be a million years old, but back in my day that's how we did it to get our designs from our PowerPC iMacs to our printer for the weekly edition of the newspaper. Here are a few ways you can try to calibrate any display (which is a good idea for everyone, tbh): https://www.makeuseof.com/how-to-calibrate-monitor-colors/

I don't know anything about gaming computers or gaming requirements, the MSI I recced earlier today might be a decent option for some basic games, but i think you're stuck with onboard graphics for that one. That may be okay for roblox, it may not; I don't know.

As to noise and battery life, you're going to have to check the reviews. Most ultra-slim computers will have low fan noise simply because their fans are going to be tiny; the issue is that if the fan gets loud because something goes wrong, it's going to be hard to replace. Honestly if you're planning on using one computer for graphics and for being a lightweight study machine, I would say "don't." Get the cheapest, smallest chromebook you can for notes in class and carrying around campus, and invest as much as possible into something with a huge screen and a ton of RAM and a newer processor for your graphics. The refurbished 17" I recced earlier might work, but that is a fucking cafeteria tray sized computer, you don't want to haul it around campus, it won't fit on most of the desks.

But, uh, yeah, as someone who spent a literal decade doing page layout on 13.3" screens, get yourself something that is big enough to have an actual visible workspace for art and design.