#ugly stupid fat hairy ugly STUPID tranny etc. and his response boiled down to nooo we think youre funny :(
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living independently (well i have a roommate but i mean this in the being moved out of my parents house sense) is so hard in so many ways but at the same time hoooly fuuuuccckkkkkkkkkkk im so glad i dont live with my fuuucking parents anymore. i still very vividly remember that it took like 6+ months after moving out to begin growing out of the constant state of dread and anxiety i used to live in in my own fucking bedroom
#this was originally going to be a silly post about getting to do whatever i want like being about to go on a 2 am gas station trip#but ive been thinking about all this a lot lately... every once in awhile i just get a really sharp memory of how i used to live#spending every waking moment around how to avoid making my dad mad#it honestly wasnt until like this last week that it clicked that hey. getting fucking screamed at by him wasnt normal or good#<- OOOBVIOUSLY it was bad but i mean like it clicked that it was Severe#idk what im getting at here sigh. on one hand im bummed that these days i functionally dont have a family anymore#on the other hand i would go entirely fucking insane if i had to live with them again#a yearish ago i was texting him trying to explain why ive been getting so distant was because he made young me feel really bad abt myself#ugly stupid fat hairy ugly STUPID tranny etc. and his response boiled down to nooo we think youre funny :(#dude i was funny because making you laugh was the only way i could feel remotely comfortable and like i wasnt going to get in trouble#MAN THIS WAS GOING TO BE A SILLY POST SORRY. going to the gas station now im gonna get a yummy chocolate#mumbling
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