#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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i want him more then words can express
#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#been well over 24 hours he has not left my mind ONCE#i cannot force myself back to onyl chuuya for a solid while this s SERIOUS#i need him in me this INSTANT#are you seeing his neck are you seeing it.#growls snarls bites down and does not let go#callnme a pitbull the way i got lockjaw#🌱 idle#dazai bsd
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Starting out my Friday the 13th strong by majorly scratching my car and getting yarn from my current WIP tangled in my bag's zipper.
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#i was having an ok to eh day#and now my brain really just went. oh. time 4 u 2 be Really Fucking Sad for no reason. yippee /sarc#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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i watch videos about roblox,,, and i'm like "oooooh,,,, i really wanna play it now!!!" and then i play it and remember why i don't like playing it as much as i'd like to.
#radley rambles#the playerbase sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it ihateithatehatehate#i go literally anywhere and there's hate speech and people trying to fuck afk users and nobody has any regard for boundaries#i love my roblox mutuals i hate just about everyone else#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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girl i am not ready to go home and face my grandmother my aunt my uncle my cousins AND my cousin's boyfriend just like. no 🙏
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CHRIST Gabe was right, Mike does have strong broad shoulders...
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talkin to a prof earlier today about how its really difficult and mentally frustrating that i can’t get myself to write things like a normal person-- takes me literal hours to get started on writing even IF ITS THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO DO AND WOULD ONLY TAKE MAYBE AN HOUR OF APPLIED TIME
she told me to drink about it. vent in tags
#ma'am...... i cannot get shitfaced everytime i have an assignment i'd be dead of alchohol poisoning within the week.........#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#like that's sorta the frustrating deal w/ everythin. is that i know i have some qualified chops as a historical writer. yay!#granted i dont really write the same on here when you compare my historical writing to my ramblings.#however. even with my writing skillz it's FILLED WITH AINGUISH. because it takes me WAAAAAAAY longer than it reasonably should because .#i just. can't. get started. like i'll block sites for hours. i'll throw my phone across the room#i'll remove any and all distractions AND YET. im staying up until the wee hours of the morn trying to crank out a TWO PAGE PAPER.#that should ONLY TAKE AN HOUR TOPS.#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#like i don't understand the deal!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!#but when i invaribly get my writing assignments done my profs are like. 'hey wtf. you should publish this.' or lavishing me w/ compliemtns#which is nice sure. BUT FFS I'D LIKE TO WRITE W/OUT THIS BARRIER#IMAGINE WHAT I COULD DO IF I COULD WRITE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING#rather than the sleep-deprived musiings of a highly dyslexic fool.
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you know the period sucks when youre not even horny about it like fuck this man. fuck this noise
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finished The Secret History oh my fucking god
#GUESS WHAT: I DID NOT LIKE IT#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#the writing is so good and FOR WHAT.#books
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oh that is Not Good
#when it starts to rain after a radioactive explosion#yeah no#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#swan watches barefoot gen
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im just so fucking scared to admit to my mom that im out of meds bc there are two avenues i see that conversation going down: one where she helps but not without going "i told u so", or one where she helps and then hounds me about why i didnt tell her sooner that i wasnt reaching the psych office and then proceeds to hound me for the next few days about how im feeling (which never really changes bc of the meds, it just kinda fluctuates between "bad" and "worse" but at least i can keep myself consistently at "bad" when im medicated). or maybe theres a secret third option where she tries telling me to pray away my depression like she did with my panic attacks (a funny but unfortunately true story). any of these options are bad and not worth the effort but calling that psych office is so hard
#in neg city#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#maybe i should just get hit by a train tomorrow morning and be done w it
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Happy tumblr live snooze day. 'Jesus Shit Son of a Bitch'
Nothing enrages me quite like the existence of Tumblr Live. Every week when I go into my settings to “snooze” it I get closer to my villain arc
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psst sesskag discord let me back in to the beautiful ppl club psssssssssssssssssssssssssst
#sesskag#sesskag discord#I didn't mean to go on hiatus lol my computer blue screened like 6 months ago#and I FINALLY got all the parts on this one working bro ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#its not registering my tablet but jesus i do not care right now
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half tempted to just drop the link to my googledoc wip at this point
#agony trying to add more to this. it could work as first chapter. but i wanted a oneshot not a multichapter fic#*waves to my track record*#but also ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i have no more words#for like. any of them#listess here hoping a post or ask will kickstart the thoughts
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guess who panic-deleted its blog. again. this beast
#fixing it rn ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#just saying shit#im gonna miss all my old posts! booooooo to panic attacks! lets all boo panic attacks!
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