#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry for the rant i'm gonna delete this soon i'm sure

[sureuncertainty]

vent post ahead

i have literally had to call out of work at least once a week for almost two months now bc of my migraines and i haven't had a day without a headache in weeks. like i cannot keep not going in to work and not making money and I feel awful for giving away shifts and calling out even tho it's not like i could work right now outside in the florida summer heat when i get dizzy from like... loading the dishwasher

i got prescribed meds but they don't help much and tylenol does jack shit now. today i SHOULD be feeling fine, i got plenty of sleep last night and haven't even stepped foot outside since the day before yesterday but nope, still sitting here getting dizzy just from looking at a screen and i had to call out of work AGAIN

i can't even do the stuff i WANT to do, much less the stuff i NEED to do, and i feel so guilty and awful and i'm so in debt and idk how i'm supposed to finish my cosplay in the next two weeks, even the idea of going to a con right now sounds literally impossible but i promised my friends i would do a group cosplay with them and i do want to i'm still super excited about it it just feels like.... impossible right now

OH ALSO i just had two major random expenses (dropped my phone broke it and had to get it replaced AND the battery in my car completely died and had to also get replaced) which was like $300 that I can't pay right now, my credit card is almost at its limit and i can't pay more than like $100 on it this month bc i can barely make rent so now is like. NOT A GOOD TIME TO BE NOT ABLE TO GO IN TO WORK

i used my last vacation day today even tho I was going to use it for the day i'm going to metrocon in a few weeks but again not even sure if that will happen

i'm just so so tired i just want my head to stop hurting all the time i can barely even think when i'm in pain like this anyway. i've had headaches and migraines my whole life but these last couple months they've ramped up so much and now it's an every day thing

oh also i'm still locked into the front so it's just me dealing with all of this, and it really sucks that i can't have anyone else come take over at all and the effort of trying to switch makes our head hurt even more so we haven't even been able to like. TRY.