#ughhhhhhh gender is Difficult

[jewishsuperfam]

so heres a thing i think i might be genderfluid??? or bigender????? like, at all times i identify strongly with womanhood and lesbianism, but then sometimes i simultaneously identify with womanhood and masculinity?? like. it's hard to explain, bc i constantly identify with womanhood but almost never with femininity, whereas i usually identify with masculinity but only sometimes with "manhood" (which is a word i feel uncomfy using bc it usually is used in literature/fanfic to refer to penises, but i lack a better word to use right now) and it's. confusing like. im definitely a lesbian, despite some impulses i have when im drunk and lonely. but when i think about my gender, it's less one thing that moves along a spectrum, and more like. several things layered on top of each other. and it's possible im just butch and androgynous and gender nonconforming, but i feel like it might be that i am a butch lesbian woman who is also simultaneously androgynous and male/masc sometimes???? but then im not sure that feels right either, bc i dont feel "male" ever rly. like the idea of that is actually repellant to me. so idk what i am????