#ughhhhh why can’t i do anything 😭

[larrysblooming]

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[shadowqueenjude]

broooo azzie is so bbg like I can’t I js love him smmmmm ahhhhh 😭😭

also elain sucks like get a backbone ugh

Hello darling. I would love to hear your reasoning for liking Azriel. Did you get a hit off of Azriel nearly strangling a crucial ally to death during an even more crucial political meeting? Was it him masturbating to Tylenol that got you? His jealousy of Lucien? His torturing people on Rhysand's command? Him treating Elain like his property?

“There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

Also would love to hear about Azriel's backbone, considering he's Rhysand's obedient little torture lackey. I don't remember him being remotely bothered by the possiblity of Cassian shoving Nesta down the stairs.

Azriel’s silence was pointed before he asked, “Did someone … push you?” “Asshole,” Cassian growled. Nesta lifted her eyes from her plate enough to note the amusement in Azriel’s gaze. He didn't defend his pursuit of Elain either. He couldn't even tell Rhysand he was over Mor.

A real backbone there.

As for Elain...she does have a backbone, sweetheart.

Elain said, “Then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” “Absolutely not,” Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. “Absolutely not.” “Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

Elain cut in sharply, “I am not a child to be fought over.”

Elain’s eyes brightened with pain. Something imploded in Nesta’s chest at that expression. She opened her mouth, as if it could somehow be undone. But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” Ughhhhh Azriel is so babygirl for trusting that Elain can handle herself and she's not an object that he can claim! Oh wait... Beautiful anon, move on. You can do better than Azriel. Not Lucien though. He's mine. And Elain's.

[pellucid-constellations]

ughhhhh you never do miss huh?

(just thinking about reader’s first tentative step back to try and figure out themselves — their old life — and almost immediately one of the first people they feel comfortable with shoves up from the dining table and says that he “can’t do this” and then just. leaves.

his mate can’t remember him — can’t remember anything, not even the life that they shared or the space in the court that they occupied. so i get why he “can’t do this,” but…

what would be worse for az? (how can we make this worse for az?) because he’s the one who pushed away first. he’s the one who put distance in between him and the reader first. but what will he do if he’s misinterpreted? what if reader thinks that he just doesn’t like them — or worse, doesn’t like them like this? despite how they try, despite what they do to remember. amidst the pain that throbs in their temples as they try to fight to remember. amidst the fear of being in an unknown place as a complete blank slate. and what will he do if he starts noticing them putting distance between the two of them — mindful of his seeming discomfort — against the tug in their chest that tells them this is wrong? what will az do when reader starts retreating from him in earnest?

sorry — i have many thoughts about this. i could write an essay on this (i might write an essay on this).)

— “as a treat” anon <3

Omfg we share the same brain anon 😭😭 I love your thoughts on this and can tell you I have some of the same ones! This dynamic is definitely going to be so complex and it’s going to be a ride for azriel (he will be going through it for the foreseeable future) and the reader.

This is why I love the amnesia trope so much!! So much to explore and think about!! Thank you for your thoughts and alwaysss send me more if you want to :)

[andorerso]

Andor episode 12 thoughts:

finale here we go 😭 I’m not ready

Paak’s holo of his father 😢

okay first of all, why are they talking about Cassian so loud on the streets? second of all, Nurchi?? I’ve been on your side this whole time, don’t betray me now

Cinta outspying these losers, you love to see it

Mon framing Perrin is actually happening oh my god!! it’s what he deserves

Vel and Cinta make me so conflicted, I love them, but I’m really starting to feel like they’re not compatible right now... Vel wants more than Cinta can give but Cinta was very upfront about that so idk... I sympathize with Vel but she’s not really being fair to Cinta who was honest with her, and if this isn’t enough for Vel, she needs to end it imo because that kind of resentment will only fester

CASSIAN’S WEARING THE LONG COAT HELL YEAH!!! and the scarf around his neck, the fingerless gloves, he looks so good

CLEM FLASHBACK 😭😭😭 and the tears in Cassian’s eyes.....

“whole armies, battalions that have no idea they’ve already enlisted in the cause” THAT’S CASSIAN!!

so Blevin’s the one spying on Mon.... I would have preferred rebel spy Blevin but ok

I feel like Luthen is taking a huge risk coming to Ferrix and it’s kinda flimsy for me... he gave the assignment to Vel and Cinta, he doesn’t really need to be here himself in person?

BRASSO AND CASSIAN HUGGING AND CASSIAN HOLDING HIM SO TIGHT AFSDGSDFDFGDGH

“he will be an unstoppable force of good” I can't y’all, I’m sobbing

"I love him more than anything he could ever do wrong” I’m literally crying so much

giant Maarva is kinda scary actually

Brasso in that uniform looks so cute 🥺

DO NOT HURT BEE YOU MONSTERS!!

Brasso going ham and using brick Maarva afgdsgdgfdhg

leave the time grappler alone!!

CINTA IS SUCH A QUEEN YES

Pegla dragging Bee to save him 🥺 thank you king

“you were in trouble” Syril STOP! he’s so creepy, thank god they didn’t kiss here

Bee’s entire being lighting up because he sees Cassian 😭😭

“I never got to see you again” STOP IT!!!

“I’ll find you” he says in that tone while looking around at them like it’s the last time... yeah, I don’t think Cassian’s gonna see them again and he knows it too

Mon, I thought we were gonna frame Perrin?? why do we still need Davo 

so Cassian’s already gonna be on the ship, right.... right

“kill me or take me in” Cassian and his suicidal tendencies, and realizing that he is willing to die for the rebellion..... yeah

I can’t believe so many people survived.... Vel, Cinta, Brasso, Bix, Bee ALL made it!! I expected more heartbreak but I’m not mad

my criticism though is that I don’t like what they did with Nurchi, and also Luthen’s presence on Ferrix felt pointless, he was only conveniently here for Cassian to be able to join at the end

THE POST CREDIT SCENE, I’M GONNA THROW UP!! WE ALL KNEW IT BUT IT WAS STILL SUCH A PUNCH IN THE GUT UGHHHHH

how am I supposed to wait two years now? I already miss Cassian so much 😭 come back to me sweet prince

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

Bro I feel so stupid.

Literally having a crisis over raw chicken.

I set it out in the sink with water, but my dad never cooked it, so I had to put it up. Easy task, right?

No.

I put it up BUT I had the entire kitchen to clean (it wasn’t much; only a pizza stone and some stuff in the sink) and like…I washed my hands thoroughly before I touched anything else, but my anxiety and A.D.D MIX TOGETHER….and make me feel like I didn’t wash my hands. Like I’ve literally washed my hands 5 different times with Dawn soap bc I THINK I didn’t even tho I’m sure I did. Like SERIOUSLY IT SUCKS GUYS.

And then I cleaned my dog bowls and maybe you can see why my anxiety is high like…I live with people AND animals….so like it’s severely high. And I gave them water and my minds like, “did I wash my hands?? HUH?”

And tomorrow I have to wash my dogs bowl with soap bc I usually just scrub the food off and such but now I gotta wash it with soap bc I put it on the counter that held the container that I put the raw chicken in and such and oh my gosh my mind is racing. Like I’m thinking, “what if I wash it with soap but it’s too late?? The dogs die bc of salmonella and then my family dies bc I’m the only one who cleans the kitchen and-”.

Literally a CRISIS OVER RAW CHICKEN.

I have to tell my dad I cannot deal with raw chicken anymore like oh my gosh. I touched bowls that I had to put up and such and I literally threw them all in the dishwasher bc I believe somehow my salmonella got onto them bc IDK AND GOSH GUYS IM SO TIRED.

I’m tired of having this anxiety and my A.D.D makes my memory WORSE which sucks and I can’t deal with myself like gosh…I just want it to stoppp😭😭😭.

And gosh my tags are long but I really DO not feel like writing them into this post so if you want to see me rant even more look at my tags-

EDIT: My dad came in and I told him and he resorted to making fun of me and I felt like crying but I didn’t and I just washed my dogs bowls to my best extent. If everyone gets sick bc of me, then they do. I literally told him I cannot deal with raw chicken bc of my memory, so I mean that’s a warning. I’ll try not to take my melatonin when I’m dealing with something important but hey-

It’s a mistake and I believe I did everything right but I guess we’ll find out soon-

Might read some sad fanfic after I play games for a little bit bc once again my anxiety is still running and im tired and whenever im nervous or mad I cry so I think it’s time to do that hehe.