#ugh... but i also have had a headache all day so need to stop thinking

[dummerjan]

thinking people secretly hate me is so fucking exhausting

[pomefioredove]

I— 'Don't bite your lip, I want to do that' with Jamil possibly? 🥺 I swear that would straight up kill me (in a good way)

I hope you have a good day!

oooh... this one is interesting

summary: "Don't bite your lip, I want to do that" type of post: short fic characters: jamil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, BRIEF mention of blood, a little kissing, fluffy, not proofread aaand maybe a little ooc

You are the personification of bad habits.

At first, Jamil avoided you; he thought he had done enough babysitting, and the last thing he needed was to worry himself over your love of biting your nails.

...And then, of course, he caved.

He couldn't just avoid you forever, and if he was going to be your friend anyway, he might as well have tried.

So, Jamil has learned a lot about you in these past few months.

For one, when you're nervous, no amount of verbal reminders will prevent you from fidgeting.

And, for another, you responded shockingly well to physical touch.

It became a habit of his. Away from prying eyes, he'd hold your hands to prevent you from picking your cuticles and tuck your hair behind your ears so you wouldn't chew on it.

He fussed over you in ways not even he understood, but that didn't matter.

He liked the feeling that came with being the leader between the two of you.

There was just one thing he couldn't seem to fix.

"Stop that," Jamil says, running his thumb over your lower lip. He sighs, seeing the blood beading from where you'd bitten.

He takes up a handkerchief, dabbing at your lip.

"There are better ways to deal with your anxiety than taking it out on yourself," he mutters. He would know.

"Sorry,"

"It's not worth apologizing over," Jamil says. "Don't let your thoughts get the best of you. They're supposed to serve you, not..."

He pauses, withdrawing the handkerchief.

"I just wish you'd stop doing that,"

"I can't help it," you say.

He knows that already, he thinks. That's why he's trying to help.

He frowns. Being so worried over someone he has no obligation to worry over is a new feeling, but not an unwelcome one.

It's just... difficult.

"You're too thoughtful for your own good, sometimes," but it's not like he's complaining. It's a welcome break from the thoughtlessness he deals with elsewhere.

Jamil knows it's your first instinct to bite and pick and peel; he's also confident he'll find a way to train you out of it.

Maybe...

No. What a stupid thought. Holding hands is one thing, occupying your lips to dissuade you is another.

"What are you thinking about?" you ask.

Ugh. "Nothing. A solution,"

"I want to hear it," you seem quite adamant. He sighs.

"I thought that if occupying your hands has worked for in the past, that the same might be true of your lips... but that's clearly not as easy,"

You're quiet. Probably thinking, and then overthinking.

"Well... why not? Why not kiss me, I mean?"

Jamil almost drops the handkerchief. Maybe you weren't overthinking this time, after all.

"...Because this is not some silly movie where I say something like... "don't bite your lip, I want to do that", or something equally embarrassing,"

You seem to hold back a giggle, much to his chagrin. "Maybe you should. Maybe it would work,"

"...You're not serious,"

You nod. Sevens, you are turning out to be a handful today. Much more so than usual.

Still...

He sighs. "Fine, but only because you insist,"

A long silence follows. Jamil studies your expression, almost looking for a hint of deceit, but... it's just you.

Genuinely caring about others is such a headache.

He hesitates, and then leans in, pressing a short but sweet kiss to your mouth. It tastes like blood. Not that he minds.

Keeping a cool facade after that is harder than he expected, and it takes him a minute to pull himself together.

At least you look happy with yourself.

Despite his internal embarrassment, he can't help but smile at the thought.

"Distracting enough?"

You're quiet, lost in thought... and then you nod. "I would say so. I guess your theory was right all along,"

Jamil feels a little swell of pride, both at the praise and at the soft look on your face.

"Hm. They often are,"

[james-is-here]

Some fluff for ya-

Snowed in day with seonghwa and hongjoong. Reader has long hair like seonghwa and the three of them are doing a braid train. Seonghwa is on the floor playing games while reader is sitting on the couch on hongjoongs lap braiding seonghwa hair and hongjoong is braiding readers hair and it’s just fluffy and cute and Yas :3

(I’ve been needing some fluff too so I gotchu bestie)

heheh I'm writing this with a headache and agitated nose. I totally passed out after this. (This has been sitting in my drafts days after I was dying of allergies but I'm better now :)..)

Thanks for the fluff 😘 Can be read as platonic or romantic. Either works ☺️

Blogs: Um...I have a Stray Kids taglist but not an Ateez taglist and I've also forgotten who was on my All Posts taglist so um leave a comment if you don't mind so that I can get my taglists and what not figured out 😅

This hair style is what I described Hongjoong doing. I was picturing Mn with white hair with blue tips

"Thanks again, eomma." "It's no problem, really. That cabin has been handed to your father for ages and it had yet to be used." "I just feel bad." "Mn, don't fret, okay? You were told everything was okay. Think of it as an extended vacation." "But they had plans with their families and-"

You were cut off when Wooyoung jumped on your back, wrapping his limbs around you, his laugh right next to your ear as San stole your phone. "Hey! What-" "You need to stop worrying, Mn." You sigh as your hands move under Wooyoung's knees to hoist him further up your back before he slipped. You opened your mouth to complain about them missing their plans with their families but Seonghwa just covered your mouth. "I don't want to hear it...again." You glare at him as he just smiles.

"We've told you like a million times that everything is fine, everything was sorted out and our families understand. Okay?" You nod and he removed his hand and a second later, a grimace forms on your face. "Are you absolutely-" "Mn!" Wooyoung covered your mouth this time from on your back. "Shush, okay?" You sigh, walking out of the entry foyer and into the living room to find the other boys sitting around the fireplace and tv.

Standing in front of the couch, you lean back, falling onto the couch on top of Wooyoung who yelps in protest but you ignore him with a smile and reach out to San who's smiling at you with a teasing grin. "Choi, I swear, stop pestering my mom." "I'm not doing anything!" "Uh huh, yeah, sure, your smile is completely innocent. Give me my phone."

He hands you the phone and your mother's voice reaches your ear. "Mn, that wasn't nice. I was telling him a story from your childhood." "Eommaaa!" "Relax, she was just telling me about your elementary girlfriends." "Ugh, okay, bye mom." "Bye, Mn."

"You suck." "Hey, that's not nice." "How many did you have?" Yeosang asked from the floor, tilting his head back to look at you. "Are they really girlfriends? It was puppy love and it doesn't matter." "His mom said six." "Choi San!" If it wasn't for Wooyoung holding you back, you would've been chasing the male outside and locking him out in the snow.

Well, and the fact that you can't lock a fellow member and idol out in a snow storm. Guess that's an option too. (😒😂)

"Okay, Okay, let's not push him to the point of locking you outside. Mn, didn't you find Monopoly earlier?" "How much you wanna bet Wooyoung gets put in jail?" You remark and go to stand up to get the game and blankets and snacks when Wooyoung pulled you back. "Hey, I'm not that bad." "Woo, be serious." "I am!" You laugh, pulling his limbs off of you before going to collect the stuff.

When you return and plop the game on the table, the boys who are wanting to play surround the table and set it up. You notice Hongjoong on the couch, you sit next to him. "Not playing?" "Nah, Watching them play is better than playing." "Okay, well then I'm gonna sit here and watch with you."

Hongjoong laughs when you get up and sit on his lap, leaning back as he wraps his arms around you. "Was that your plan the whole time?" "No but it worked." He tightened his hold, hugging you tightly as you pulled a blanket over you two.

You watch them play the silly game for a while and at some point Seonghwa switched spots with San, saying the spot he was in was bad luck as he kept losing money, making you pout when San agreed cause you were enjoying him leaning against your legs and playing with his hair. "Don't pout, Mnie. The benefit of me being here is I get money and you can actually braid my hair." "Ooh!"

That made you happier as you pat Hongjoong's knee so that you can still sit in front of him but his crossed legs wouldn't possibly fall asleep as you lean forward and brush your hand through his hair. You decided to do french braids, you were half way through the first one when you felt a hand brushing through your own hair.

You turned around but he turned your head back with a light shove at your temple. "Hey, I'm doing your hair." "Oh dear." "Hey, it'll look good." "It better."

You finished Seonghwa's hair, smiling while giving him a head pat as you wait for your hyung to finish your hair. "Joon, are you done yet?" "Almost."

You could feel that he was doing french braids from the top of your part, braiding in a half semi circle before coming to the back of your head. You had a random ponytail holder on your wrist for Seonghwa's hair but Hongjoong now realizes he's stuck. "I didn't think this through..." "What? Oh! Hey, Sangie, in the bathroom under the sink, can you get the bag of rubber bands?" "Yeah." Yeosang left and came back just as quick. "Thank you, Sangie!"

You pass it back to Hongjoong and he ties it up, the braids, then gathers the rest of your hair and ties it to the tail of the braid, fluffing it up and making sure it looked just right.

Hongjoong took out his phone and took a picture to show you and you gasp. "Hyung, this looks so pretty! Thank you!" You turn around wrapping your arms around his neck to give him a hug. "You're welcome, Mnie."

You give his phone back and move to sit sideways, curling up in Hongjoong's lap and pulling the blanket over you. "Am I your bed now?" "Mmm, yes, you're comfy." You wrap your arm around his middle and lay your head on his shoulder, getting comfy. He wraps his arms around you, one around your back and the other thrown over your thighs, holding your legs on his lap.

You had began to doze off when Wooyoung exclaimed in annoyance. "These dice are unfair! How can I roll enough to get in jail twice in one game?!" He fusses and you giggle sleepily before huffing and sitting up. "What?" "Lay down, Hyung." He laughs at you before doing as you said, letting you lay on top of him so now you can see Wooyoung's agony better.

His arms wrap around your back and shoulders, drawing random shapes on your back and lulling you back into a sleepy state. "Hyung, I'm still sorry..." "What for?" "I can't say it, you'll get mad at me." "Is this about being snowed in which is completely out of your control and you feel bad we can't go home?" "...Maybe." "Well, we all said that it's fine. Our families understand and this just means we can all be together for longer. Just relaxing and having fun." "Okay."

As you lay there, barely able to keep your eyes open, Hongjoong noticed your struggle and smiled softly. He lifted a hand from under the blanket and began to gently rub your neck with his thumb, moving it slowly under your ear and the other one moved up and down your back, soothing you. You whispered, "I know what you're doing," as you brought your hand up to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. He replied, "Then don't fight it. Just sleep." You hum as a reply, feeling the warmth and comfort of his touch and voice lulling you into a peaceful slumber.

You allow your eyelids to droop and snuggle closer to your hyung, surrendering to his tender caresses as the sounds of the board game gradually fade away. Seonghwa's knuckles glide over your cheek gently, eliciting a soft sigh from your lips. "Aw, sleepy Mnie~" he coos, followed by a gentle pat on your head. You feel yourself melting further into Hongjoong’s embrace, savoring the warmth and comfort he provides. "So cute~" Seonghwa whispers before turning his attention back to the group, who have collectively decided to abandon the game and settle down to watch TV.

As you gradually slip into a state of serene slumber, enveloped by the soothing embrace of Hongjoong and the reassuring presence of your friends, you are struck by how truly magnificent life can be in moments like these. A sense of utter contentment spreads across your face, as you allow yourself to be swept away by the tranquility of the night, secure in the knowledge that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

[catboybiologist]

March 2024 documentation and transition journal

Just got my levels results back, meaning that the doc is fully updated for March:

This is possibly one of the most exciting and interesting months of HRT since starting, because I've experimented around a lot with injection doses, so let's talk about that! I'm also slapping a couple of old pics in here for reference, so I'll slap some selfie tags on this.

So, lots of interesting HRT stuff. At my last levels check, I was on 4mg injectable EV a week. And… my E actually went down, even though that’s an effectively higher dose than my previous regimen (6mg sublingual/day). Because of this, I talked with my provider, and essentially she told me to fuck around. I probably was way looser with it than she wanted me to be, but she told me to go to 8mg/week maximum, and try and settle on 6mg/week minimum. So….. here’s what I did.

1 week of 8mg.

2 weeks at 7mg.

2 weeks 6mg, during which my levels were checked at mid.

I… can’t really advocate for this. Basically, my logic was that I wanted to see what it felt like to max things out, but have my actual levels check reflect what I’m like at 6mg to know if increasing or maximizing the dose beyond that is necessary at all. Ultimately, I’ve concluded that 8mg feels too high- I start getting a bit of headache and nausea at peak. 7mg feels very comfortable. 6mg, I felt fucking miserable at trough. When I was on 4mg/week, I used a couple of sublingual pills to try and get through that, but I tried to see if I could stop doing that. It went okay for the higher doses, but on 6mg… ugh. Felt like complete shit. I’ll def be using a couple this week to get through that, probably just 4-6mg sublingual on wed/thurs to make sure I’m feeling okay.

Oh. Also. I ditched Spironolactone, against the advice of my provider. 

I was getting really, REALLY irritated by the diuretic effects, so I quit it when I tried to 8mg dose just to see what would happen. I figured that 8mg would be more than enough to suppress T on its own (likely true), and so I thought it would be the best time to try that. And… when I stopped spiro, a depressive haze that had been in my head lifted very quickly. I thought it was just depression based on a rough past couple of months, and that’s probably true, but it also felt physical. The diuretic effects have also stopped, and I genuinely can’t imagine going back on spiro.

I’ve heard a lot of theoretical stuff about spiro potentially being able to inhibit growth and development. It's possibly a growth hormone inhibitor, but should be a more potent antiandrogen than anyone else. It’s…. Really hard to say whether spiro actually inhibits growth. As with a lot of transfemme physical developments, there’s never been a comprehensive, conclusive study on it, which is why its relegated to miscellaneous anecdotes that everyone will swear one way or the other on. I’ll have some opinions on this later.

So what improvement to my levels did I get out of all of this?

Well…. Good, but nothing radical. My midcycle estrogen is 159 pg/mL, which is about my target for trough. It’s a good step up from the 4mg dose, but I’m probably going to increase to 7mg/week- that felt fine to me, and I’m pretty confident that that’ll be the dose that nails it. I’m pretty deadset on going forward with that, I would just need a levels check to verify we’re all good there. (Side note, I’m a bit frustrated that my body literally seems allergic to just… stuff. Idk if I have an overactive liver or what, but my T crashed super easily, adderall consistently lasts shorter than it should, and my E is really struggling to go up.)

And did this result in any physical improvement? 

I actually think that this last month has been the single fastest month of physical development I’ve ever had. Here’s some things I’ve noticed:

My breasts have become much larger and more developed in relation to my chest, with a much better shape. Comparison pictures to even just the end of January show a wild difference (sorry, not posting that publicly). To be fair, though, I’m still pretty clearly in tanner 2, and I maybe want to wait for just a bit more development before I start progesterone. 

Waist measurement is still going down, and hip measurement is still holding steady. This means that, in effect, my hips are getting wider.

And this is one of the most exciting ones- my upper body seems like its getting smaller. I’m floored by this. My underbust is less, my chest looks noticeably less barrel-y, and my ribcage kind of “flows” into my waist better. I wrote a bit about this on reddit just now, but I think I know what’s happening here. Not only is fat burning from the sides of my chest as it builds on the front of my chest, I actually think my costal cartilage might be getting “tighter”, effectively pulling my ribs a bit closer in to my sternum

I have…. No way to confirm the hunches of that last one, other than the images I can show. So for educational purposes (and y’know. Making the funny women in my phone type funny syllables) Here’s a quick timeline where I think you can see the “barrellness” of my chest decreasing:

From left to right, we have September (0-1mo), December (3-4mo), March (6-7mo)

Don't worry, my shoulders are just as wide and athletic dyke-y.

Am I delusional? Is this anything? Maybe. Pictures are hard to make consistent with changes this small. But I do feel like its noticeable, and it seems like women’s cut shirts and tanks have fit me in a way that’s a lot more consistent with a cis woman’s body. Again, there’s also nsfw images, and I think they show a lot of progress, and I think I can pretty definitively say that this has been the single month with the most physical changes since, well, my first month back in September. 

Why did this happen? Well, I’m working with a sample size of one here, and multiple variables have changed at the same time. There’s really three things that could be happening: increased injection dosage, ditching spiro, or the general come and go of physical changes. It’s impossible to completely know what’s going on because of this, unfortunately- I’d need way more data. That said…. This is the first new “wave” of development I’ve had since I started, and my actual blood levels didn’t increase that much. I really, really don’t want to conclude anything, but I’m kinda thinking that spiro had something to do with it. It has broad effects on physiology which aren’t entirely characterized, that could easily theoretically be inhibiting generic growth and development. That said, I think starting with a strong antiandrogen is basically necessary for HRT. It’s extremely difficult to get E levels up without robustly inhibiting T first. Obviously don’t take this as medical advice, or even a scientific opinion. This is nothing more than a hunch.

Idk. I’m happy. I feel like I finally am starting to break through the progress stall I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated with. And I think getting the proper injection dose actually worked to break through it. I’m feeling a lot better with my transition in general too. I won’t elaborate much here, but I’ve been coming out to a lot more people, and its been tentatively going about as well as I could ask. We’ll see what the future holds, but I’m excited about it.

[arabellasleopardcoat]

The Devil (Daemon Targaryen x Reader)

Summary: The corpse in your bathroom is not a corpse, but rather a pure blood fanatic with a penchant for child brides. You are not impressed.

Warnings: Violence, sexual thoughts, mature language.

A/N: Part of my Halloween celebration! Part 1 here.

There is a girl screaming, somewhere. It forces Daemon out of his slumber, groaning. Gods, what in the Seven Hells had he done to deserve such a rough awakening?

“Ugh. Stop that, girl.” He says, getting up from the wet stone floor he lays on. It's oddly smooth under his palms. Daemon braces himself for the wave of nausea that will surely follow, expecting the horrible hangover he has gotten every time he drinks ever since he turned thirty.

One would think it gets easier, with age. It does not. And surely, if he had drank enough to not remember where he is or how he got here, this was going to be the mother of all hangovers.

Much to his astonishment, it's not. There is no pounding headache, nor is there a wave of nausea that follows his movement. Daemon is unable to marvel at it, though. The vague sound of a girl whimpering and cowering forces him to stop his pondering and instead focus on the problem at hand.

“Stop that, you little fool. I am not going to hurt you.” Getting up was much harder than he thought. His body feels heavier than it should. It's only as he looks down that he realizes that he is still in his armor, covered in blood.

Daemon understands it, then. He remembers the battle at the Stepstones, and his triumph over that damn crab. He looks you over and smiles.

You are a pretty thing. Younger than him, and terribly shy, you cower in a corner of what appears to be a bathing room. Someone has made sure that you bathe, as you stand before him in only a flimsy towel.

His men have always been a loyal bunch. Daemon had chosen them well. They didn't disappoint, anticipating his needs and sending someone to serve him. And not just anyone, but a woman who is exactly to his liking.

The bath is already drawn. He cannot wait to get inside it.

“Come here.” He orders you, and your face scrunches up in displeasure. “Help me get out of my armor.”

You take a hesitant step towards him before halting.

“I… I… You… There is blood.” And it's quite a dumb comment, but what else can he expect? He doesn't blame his men for not having found the epitome of wisdom here. There are barely any women at all. It's commendable enough that they have managed to find someone as sweet looking as you are.

You cower more. Your eyes shift to the door of the bathing room. That, he cannot have. Daemon wonders if you have been instructed already on what is expected of you, or if they had just shoved you into this room and ordered you to obey.

He steps closer to you, crowding you. The warm light compliments your skin, making you glow under the candlelight. You have an innocent air about you, all big eyes and pouty lips. The skin of your shoulders and arms is soft and unmarred. A perfect maiden, just in the bloom of youth.

“My men chose you well. You are a pretty one.” His dirty, bloodied hands come to grasp your pristine towel, pulling it away. You are naked as the day you were born, all displayed for his hungry eyes.

Gorgeous breasts. Lush hips. All smooth, perfect skin. If Daemon were a lesser man, he would be slobbering at the way your bosom bounces with your struggles, how your skin flushes and shines with the exertion.

“What are you doing? Leave me alone, leave me alone!” You are a feisty little thing, trying to wrestle your towel out of his hands. You are also slapping at him, everywhere you can reach.

Seven Hells. You are perfect for him, aren't you?

Daemon pulls you closer, hugging you to him. This close, he can smell the herbs and oils in your hair and skin, and it is heavenly. You smell clean and pure. Good enough to eat.

“You are so soft.” He trails kisses along your neck, keeping your wrists pinned down to your sides. You squirm, making faces and aborted noises. “And for how you struggle, you are pure too. Oh, I haven't seen a woman in months.”

“You are disgusting.” You finally manage to push him away, and you move towards a corner of the room. There is a bunch of fabric there that you quickly snatch. It's not a color he has ever seen before. You pull it over your head, and it's only then Daemon realizes it is a shirt. “Get out!”

“Don't be like that, little girl. You will be rewarded handsomely.” He says, half-heartedly. While play fighting might be fun, Daemon is too tired to truly fight you. Besides, he finds it distasteful. He might coerce, but rape is another matter altogether.

“I am not a sex worker!” You complain, from your corner in the room.

"Not for sale, huh?” Daemon smiles. He is amused at your refusal. Most serving girls would trip all over themselves for a night with him, especially if he was offering money for it. Not you, though. You were awfully proud for a commoner. It would only make seducing you more sweet.

“Who the hell are you?” Your voice is snappish. It seems like you finally lost your patience. It's not the tone that makes him pause, though. Daemon has realized from early on that you are quite spirited. No, instead, it's the fact that you don't know him.

“Daemon Targaryen.” He offers, after a pause. The idea of not being recognized in sight is one that is deeply confusing to him. Even here, so far from his home, he is known by the men and women that serve his army. For the Seven's sake, even the Crab King's men shudder at the mere mention of his name.

Something must be wrong. Daemon is somewhere he shouldn't be. There is no other explanation for this, and it makes his skin crawl.

You stare at him, in silence. Your lips purse. There appears to be a storm raging behind your eyes. Whatever confusing thoughts you are having, you do not share them with him. Instead, you point towards the door.

“No. Nope. Out!”

And Daemon, after realizing something is very wrong, does not have the heart to argue. He walks out of the bathing room, head hanging low. He is not ashamed, but he's not sure of what he feels, either.

When he crosses the threshold, the feeling of wrongness intensifies. There is a bright, white light illuminating the space he finds himself in. It doesn't look natural, it is much too harsh for it.

The furniture in the room is all wrong, too. There is nothing made of wood in sight, the love seat is shaped wrong and there is some strange artifact resting on it. Everything he touches seems to be made of a lighter material than wood and rock, that feels off against his skin.

Daemon grabs a small rectangle, covered in raised numbers. He presses down on them, curious about their texture.

Something on the wall lights up. People appear on the walls. Daemon screams, startled by their sudden appearance.

“Who are you? Identify yourselves!”

The people on the wall ignore him. He takes out Dark Sister. Now that he looks at them, Daemon realizes they are not people. They are too small for it. They must be something different. He thinks of the beasts of Old Valyria and comes up blank.

“Are you trying to stab my TV?” Your voice makes him turn, swinging his sword. You are gaping at him. Somewhere along his journey through this strange room, you seem to have found some men's underclothes that loosely cover your legs. You still wear the same shirt, which does nothing to support your bosom. It should make you look deeply unattractive, yet somehow, it does not. Perhaps, because Daemon knows exactly what hides under those clothes.

“Seven Hells, girl.” Daemon rubs a hand over his face. He is starting to get a headache. “Why are there tiny people on the wall?”

“It's…” You grab the rectangle from his hand and press something. The people on the wall disappear. “It's not real. It's like a picture.”

“A painting, you mean?” Daemon frowns. He had never heard something like it. You seem about to explain, so he shakes his head. “It's no matter. I see you traded your clothing for something that hides your charms. Good thinking. It will make it easier to focus around you. ”

“Excuse me?” You cross your arms over your chest. Daemon can't help but leer. You are just too damn easy to rile up.

"Rather unfashionable, though.” He adds. “And it doesn't hide your chest fully.”

“This is nonsensical.” You say, sitting down on your strange love seat and pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes. “Fucking witch.”

“Witch?” Daemon sits next to you. The love seat is made of dark leather. He guesses his armor won't stain it too much. It's awkward regardless, the joints in the metal not meant to bend that way. He starts taking off the chest plate, only paying you half a mind. He figures the venting that will surely come will bore him to tears.

Listening without hearing it's an art Daemon perfected a long time ago. Entertaining young maidens is no hard task at all. Mostly, they are pleased with hearing a few awed sounds here and there and some insightful questions.

Most men, they don't bother pretending to listen to women at all. It is what makes him so successful when it comes to courtship. You don't actually have to listen, it's enough just pretending to do so. Girls like you, they are just like flowers. Pay them a little attention, make them feel seen, and they will open up their petals. Then, it's not hard at all to pick one.

“Oh, forget it.” You mutter, and it's so bitter it takes him aback. It occurs to him, you were probably not about to air your grievances about someone, but perhaps alluding to a true witch.

“You consort with witches? Is that the reason for these strange artifacts?” Daemon raises his eyebrows. If any, it would make some sense.

"I do not.” You answer, nose scrunching up cutely. You look rather young, but he has met whores who look like girls barely out of childhood and are old maids already. There is a certain innocence to your demeanor, though, that indicates either a sheltered life or youth. “I am about to sound insane.”

“Go on.” He stops trying to remove his chest plate and turns towards you. This time, he gives you his full attention. Your eyes are wide and earnest, not a hint of dishonesty in sight. It's very refreshing. As a Prince, he is used to people lying to him to try to gain his favor. You don't look capable of it.

“A woman, she gifted me a love spell. Unblock my path, give me my other half and all.” You give a small groan, rubbing your eyes again. Embarrassment makes you sweet, it appears.

His other half. Hm. Daemon gently cradles your jaw in one of his hands, ignoring your squeals of protest. Pretty, for a commoner, and obedient, too. Your struggling stops as soon as his grip turns harsher. You look up at him, making a face.

“You are getting blood on me.” Your voice is shaky. Daemon has always enjoyed intimidating others. There is something so delectable about seeing fear overtake someone's face and knowing he is the one in control. It's even better with women.

But with you? It's not good. It's positively delicious. Your eyes lower in submission just the barest hint, before snapping up to meet his, angered. You bite your lips, as if unsure if you should be excited or scared of the display.

It's not like it's the first time a woman shows excitement and admiration over Daemon's prowess. But it's not a common reaction. Most women, they recoil at the barest hint of a threat or complain about his brutality. Those who mix excitement with fear, in his experience, are a special type of women. One that is very fun to play with.

“A bit late for that.” Daemon gestures at the love seat, carelessly. He is not very interested in discussing this, really. He is more interested in the fact that there might be some magic at hand. And not only that, but that you might be his fated half. “I have smeared it all over your chambers already.”

“Home. Not chamber.” You correct, haughtily. It's a sad thought, that these little rooms are all you have. Yet, what else could he expect from a commoner? No matter how pitiful, though, there are more important matters.

Focus. He needs to focus and get the answer he needs. But your body is tensing up, eyes darting towards the door. You look about to try to slip out of his grip, perhaps put some distance between the two of you. Daemon can damn near taste it. So to make sure you do not move, he gets bolder.

His hand goes lower. From your jaw, to the side of your neck. Not yet at the base of it, as not to choke you, but pressing hard enough you could imagine the threat. Think about how his hand could slip a little lower, or he could press a little harder.

Your pulse jumps rabbit fast under his fingers. Your lips part. They, they close. He wonders if that is the face you would make, were him to silence you with a kiss.

“Let's not get sidetracked. You? My other half?” Daemon frowns. You are pretty enough, with an edge of wordly innocence that would lead even the most pious man to sin. But you are not Valyrian. Your hair is too dark, your eyes are not purple. Why would you be his?

When Daemon thought of settling down, he always thought it would be with a Valyrian woman. While you were a far cry from his current wife, the Bronze Bitch, you were not exactly what he had in mind.

Daemon has always wanted a Valyrian bride. It is the way things should be. The only way to honor his heritage, keep his bloodline alive, ensure his children are special. How could a Targaryen claim a dragon if their blood was so diluted they barely looked like a Targaryen anymore?

Yet, Daemon is not blind. You seem to fit him in ways he could have never expected, as if you had been made for him. If your witch, or the gods, had brought him here, there had to be a reason.

“I think the same, trust me.” You roll your eyes, a bit too cheekily for someone whose windpipe he could crush at any second. It reminds him of a puppy or kitten, trying to seem ferocious. Daemon allows it only because it is endearing.

“What's so bad about me? I am a Targaryen prince, I own a dragon, and not to mention, I am extremely handsome.” He is half joking, half serious. Daemon is a tad offended, in truth. If any, he should be the one having all sorts of qualms about you being destined for him. You are a commoner, with nothing to your name, and from an absolutely unimportant family.

“The fact that you are fictional, for starters.” You jerk your pretty little head away, scoffing. That has to be the oddest thing he has heard you say all evening. And you have said plenty.

“Fictional?”

“In books only. And a TV adaptation.” You mutter, getting up from the love seat. You grab a blanket, thrown over one of the other seats, and wrap yourself in it.

“Huh.” Daemon's mind is working faster than ever, trying to decipher what you mean. This is not Westeros. That's clear. But what is it? Is this another world where he is only a story to you? Or is this some distant future, where tales of his name and deeds have spread?

“Huh, what?” You turn towards him, all wrapped up in your blanket. You look like an empress of old, blanket over your shoulders trailing after you like a cape.

Daemon takes a step towards you. Then another. You do not move, pinned to the spot by his gaze. Your lips apart again, as if to say something. This time, he does shut you up with a kiss.

Your lips are soft against his. Your mouth is pliant, and you open up for him beautifully. One of your hands tangles in his hair, pulling to keep him close. Daemon doesn't care that your grip is bordering on the painful. If any, it makes him more excited.

His hands go to grasp at your hips, greedily. Your flesh yields like soft butter under his touch, and you give just the smallest sigh against his mouth.

He crowds you, walking you backwards towards a table. Your mouths are still locked together, your breath coming in hot little puffs of air against his. It's a perfect fit, and as the back of your knees hit the table, and you let yourself be lifted onto it, Daemon wonders how he could ever question you being destined to be his.

“Does that feel fictional to you?” He asks you, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your lips twitch upwards.

“I am not certain.” You grin. “You would have to kiss me again, to be sure.”

“Just to be certain.” Daemon repeats, grinning back. “We can't have you having doubts.”

“Of course.” You answer, leaning closer. Your hand goes to cup his jaw. Your palms are tinted with blood. He has gotten you all dirty. The idea of you being bathed in blood, just as he is, from just being close to him is intoxicating in a way Daemon can't yet name.

He gives you a passionate, harsh kiss. Your head sags softly, until it hits his collarbone. Daemon decides it then. He is not going back alone, not to the Bronze Bitch, not to that damn war. He will have you, one way or the other.

Daemon gathers you up in his arms, walking back to the bathing room.

“Come. We need to get cleaned up.”

You nuzzle into him, soft as a kitten. You let him take your clothes off, then his. The water in the tub is lukewarm. One of your hands comes to rub at his shoulder blades, holding a rag.

Daemon grabs your wrist and presses a soft kiss to your palm. You look at him, eyes filled with lust. You are perfect for him.

You have always been.

[calmlb]

Hi Essie!!! Hope you're doing well! (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)❤️

So I had this idea for a sick!Dazai fic (that I'm honestly too tired to write dhehee), and who else is better to brainstorm it with than my fellow Dazai whump enthusiast? :D

Based on my own experience of being sick for the past week, I forgot how awful it can get. It sucks. You're feverish, your nose is either runny or super blocked, your throat hurts, you get headaches, you're lethargic 80% of the time, all that stuff. But what sucked the most for me was how hot my skin felt. Like, clothes were so uncomfortable to wear from the sweat, especially since it's still summer around here.

So imagine putting bandages into account as well?

Yep, awful.

So I present you with a scenario: Teen!Dazai in his office, has taken over paper duty (that Mori knows he isn't gonna complete anyway) because of his fever. He feels gross, to say the least. Flushed and hazy, a little nauseous and sleepy. But his skin- his skin is scorching, and there is no way for it to disperse that heat because it can't breathe. He endures it for as long as he can until he just can't.

In his haze, he scrambles to tear his bandages off, loosen his tie, and decides that he will lie on the cold floor shirtless. The air conditioner isn't enough. No one is there to stop him.

Until Chuuya barges in without knocking as usual (to discus the paperwork he also knows Dazai isn't going to finish) and stumbles onto the scene.

Dazai doesn't even acknowledge him, has already taken off the bandages around his eye and is halfway through tearing off the ones around his neck. His clothes are disheveled as he loosens them and looks like he's about to take them off.

Chuuya gapes for a solid second, before exclaiming with a blush-

"What the fuck?!"

He rushes over, trying not to look at Dazai's skin that's on display and stops him. He wraps him with Mori's oversized coat aggressively.

Dazai fights against him, exclaiming that he needs to lie on the floor. Chuuya doesn't get it, all that he knows is that Dazai is delirious, and even if he thinks it's a good idea to tear through his protective layer now, he'll definitely regret it later.

So Chuuya ties him with the coat and decides to take the paperwork to his place, along with a flailing Dazai on his shoulder.

I just wanna see Dazai giving Chuuya hell during treating him 😭 cuz even if cooling off is a good idea for a fever, not staying huddled in the warmth equates to chills and endless sneezes. Makes you feel even more awful. So it's gonna be a push and pull of Chuuya trying to warm Dazai up (in order to fight off the fever faster), and Dazai wanting to cool off (because he isn't used to being this warm and hates it), until they come up with a compromise somehow dgdhejndjd

Yeah, just a fun idea! :3 Feel free to expand on it hehe

PEA 😭 i saw this when i was having a Very Bad Day™️ & it immediately made it sm better tysm 🥺🩷🩷

UGH THE TENDER, FEVERISH SKIN UNDER THE BANDAGES ❤️‍🩹 where everything just feels like too much, i completely understand why Dazai (in his feverish delusion) would think removing the offending material would be the solution

Chuuya barging in and quickly going from 👁️👄👁️ to 😳🤬. i love that he goes into protective mode, thinking of how future Dazai will surely regret this course of action & putting measures in place to prevent that 🥺

Chuuya would wrap Dazai up like a sushi roll & carry him on his shoulder like a log back to his apartment, where he proceeds to lose the idgaf war & embrace his mother hen side (which he still denies exists)

meanwhile Dazai is kicking & fighting him every step of the way, acting more like a 5 year old than a mafia sub executive (he’s still only a kid sobs), even as he shivers with chills

until Chuuya manages to get a hand in his sweat soaked curls, gently carding through them. the coolness of his leather glove against Dazai’s overheated scalp makes Dazai go still… and then slump against the couch in a mixture of relief & exhaustion. Chuuya takes advantage of his compliance to make him agree to stop fighting him, & they spend the rest of the day resting on the couch, watching movies & playing video games (well. Chuuya plays. Dazai watches & points out all of Chuuya’s mistakes) 🩷🩷🩷

[dragon-creates]

Five Times Jax and Pomni Share Dreams of Their Past Lives (And One Time Where They Remember)

Read on AO3

1/2/3/4/5/6

We're back with another chapter! I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this so far, I'm trying to aim for updating it every Monday but due to my personal life with college and work I might not be able to post on the dot but I'll do what you can, I hope ya'll can understand. Also, this chapter goes into Jax/Jack's and Pomni/Penny's childhood so I'm going to leave a trigger warning for child abuse, alcoholism, bullying and near death experiences. It's all only mentioned and it doesn't go fully into detail about it, but I wanted to let you guys know in case any of you are triggered by it. I'll let you know what it comes up by doing this; Jax's back story is going to be labeled (1) for when it starts and (2) when it finishes, while Pomni's will start at (3) and end at (4), I hope that's clear enough. Feel free to skip this if it isn't for you. Anyways, please enjoy!!!

2. Back To December

Normally, Caine blabbering non-stop about what shenanigans they would get up to usually left everyone with a mild headache and the urge to just move on with the day. However, this was the first time that Pomni and Jax were grateful for the ringmaster’s excessive chatter. Knowing that he was distracted by the sound of his own voice gave them more time to think about their dreams, or rather, trying hard not to think about them.

For Pomni, it had left her confused. After her incident with the exit doors and the void, she was beginning to surrender to the idea that she was truly stuck here. No past, no memories, no escape. She was nothing but a body of pixels, not able to do the things that would’ve made her human prior to everything. But now, after being told she wasn’t physically capable of doing it, she had her first dream since arriving. Everyone had told her that she didn’t require that basic human needs to survive anymore, wouldn’t that include dreaming? She just wanted to make sense of this nonsense world and find out its rules, and now it was being thrown out the window!

Then there was this ‘Penny’ girl, out of everything that confused her the most, it was her envy of the dream girl. It wasn’t like she was real, and that this ‘Penny’ actually had a life, had her own aspirations, even a sister who would protect no matter what. It wasn’t real, she wasn’t real, so there was no reason to be jealous. Though, she wondered if her life before the circus was similar to Penny’s, what were Pomni’s goals? What was her family like? What was her life like?

She briefly made eye contact with Jax during her internal rambling, realising and whipped her head back round once his gaze met hers. The fact that he reminded her so much of the ‘Jack’ person in her dream wasn’t helping. Granted, there were minor differences, but the way his voice sounded and the relaxed posture she always found himself in, it wasn’t hard for her mind to put the two side by side. Ugh why can’t my brain just be normal for one second!

Jax on the other hand was starting to get frustrated with all this. It was usually easy for him to not think about things he didn’t want to, like deciding whether or not he was in the mood to prank someone. So why can’t he get that stupid dream out of his head! He had already made his peace that he was never getting out of this multi-coloured hellhole, he was fine with it, nothing could be done about it. And then suddenly he just so happened to actually have a dream, something that according to Caine, couldn’t be done here.

But what frustrated him the most was that he couldn’t get Penny out of his head. This sweet yet anxious girl, with an adorable smile that somehow turned his insides to goo, as though he had witnessed that beautiful smile many times before. And her nervous rambling, how she stumbled over her words yet still managed to be so endearing, he wanted to berate Jack for scaring this poor girl, you know, if he actually existed. Which he doesn’t so just leave it alone!

He had noticed Pomni glancing at him before turning her head away so fast that he was surprised she didn’t get whiplash. He thought about her first day here, how terrified she looked, constantly looking over her shoulder to make sure nothing was out to get her, he also remembered how she would flinch at anyone coming near her. He wouldn’t admit this to anyone ever, but he felt bad for the jester, and maybe he was a little ashamed of himself for leaving her with Kaufmo, after all she seemed like the type to be afraid of her own shadow, kind of like Penny—

“And that concludes our adventure for today!”

Jax blinked as he looked up at Caine, the AI floating above everyone else, his eyes filled with manic and excitement. Was he seriously thinking about Penny for the whole day?! He really needed to get a grip on himself. Perhaps it was his tired state, but he was looking over at Pomni again, the jester still seemed to be afraid of Caine. After all, he did nothing but drag her all over the circus grounds when she first arrived – to the point where she threw up -, lied to her about an exit and did nothing to ease her into her new home. He knew Caine was a bit much at times, but it didn’t mean he had to like how the ringmaster treated the new arrival.

Although now he could take the time to get a proper look at her. She was small, but to be fair, he towered over everyone here, her eyes were big and wide, it was kind of cute how they widened at every new thing she saw, her hair was short, but he wondered what it would look like without her hat, maybe it would shine like Penny’s?

Hold on, when did he start thinking about Pomni like this?! And he was comparing her to Penny again?! “Ugh,” he put his face into his hands.

“Why Jax, dear boy!” Caine floated over to him, giving him a harsh pat on the back, “There’s no need to be so down about this adventure being over, after all, we’re having another one tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after-”

“Keep the repetition to yourself dentures,” Jax shoved him away, “I’m just tired, well, not that I can be tired here. I just wanna be alone right now.”

With that, he walked away, he could overhear Caine bidding everyone a goodnight before everyone else trekked back into their rooms. He felt someone bump into him from behind, he turned to see Pomni, nervously clutching her hands together as she backed up from him a bit. “Twice in a row today, huh pop-pom?” he smirked, “I’m starting to think you’re doing this on purpose.”

“No, no!” she cried, “That’s not the case, it was an accident I swear!”

It was pretty cute seeing her riled up, he was far too tired to even deny that part, he just wanted to go to his room. “Sure,” he replied, walking away.

Pomni watched him walk away. She wasn’t sure what was up with him today, ever since breakfast she was caught in her own little world that she failed to notice that Jax was also spacing out as well. Was that normal for him? After all, everyone else always said how he would find a way, whether big or small, to throw a prank. However, this didn’t seem like the rabbit that everyone was talking about. “Jax?”

He turned back to face her.

“Um,” she wrung her hands together, peering down at her feet before looking back up at him again, “Are you okay?”

Something shifted in his face before he shrugged, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, “I know I just got here, but if this is my new home now I wanna make sure everyone’s okay, including you.”

Jax shifted a little, the way she was looking at him, so sincere and not a hint of malice, those wide red and blue eyes searching him as though all his secrets were on display. He coughed, looking away before smirking again, “No need to be so soft on me toots, but I’m fine. I’m gonna go get some rest.” He then walked up to her, making the jester freeze as he towered over her, “You should too, after all you need to get some sleep if you wanna remain sane here. It wouldn’t be any fun if you abstracted so soon.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, chills running up her spine and her making her cheeks blush hard.

He grinned once he got his desired reaction and with a final wink he strutted back to his room. He ignored the fluttery feeling in his heart, he was just teasing her, that’s all, its what he does best. It wasn’t like he did it because he was curious about what her blush would like, he definitely didn’t think that it also matched Penny’s.

Once Jax had shut the door of his room, Pomni raised her hand to where he touched her. She couldn’t believe that he did that?! Was it part of a prank that she wouldn’t find out until later? And that wink! Oh how that caught her off guard! That moment wouldn’t be leaving her head anytime soon. But the way he winked, why did it remind her of Jack…nope, she wasn’t going down that road any time soon.

As the two retired for the night in their respective rooms – after changing into sleepwear that Caine had specialised for everyone – Pomni and Jax tried their best to push any thought they had at the back of their minds. All they had to do was go to bed and everything would return to normal. Right?

.

.

.

Jack huffed, steam rolling out of his mouth as he trekked to the coffee shop down the street, yup, November winter weather was certainly making its way. His normal bus had been cancelled, which meant he had to take a different one in a different area of town if he wanted to make it on time to college. Although, he was lucky enough to make it on time to the bus stop, and it just so happened to be near a local coffee shop. So with a shrug, he decided than rather staying outside in the cold with zero energy, he would at least try and warm himself up indoors with some caffeine to help wake him up.

When he walked in, he noticed that the shop was fairly empty with only one other person at the counter walking for their order. That was fine, he could wait, besides it smelt nice it here, with an aroma of cinnamon and vanilla filling the air, probably new drinks that were made for the festive season coming along.

He decided to go on his phone, texting a classmate of his to say he might be late when an angry squawk from the woman in front of him made him wince. It was far too early for this.

“How dare you!” the woman screeched, “It says here that I can get a free muffin if I buy a beverage and that’s exactly what I’m doing to do! I’m in my right don’t you deny me!”

“Ma’am please,” another voice whimpered, “That discount is expired, I’m really sorry but I’m afraid you’re going to have to buy both separately, there’s nothing I can do.”

“I’m not paying for this garbage! And you will give my discount, I deserve it! You are either going to give me what I want, or I will report you to your manager!” the woman slammed a hand down on the counter.

The noise made Jack finally look up, wondering what on earth was happening and then, there she was, it was Penny! He couldn’t believe, ever since Halloween he had trying to find a way to contact her. At first, he wanted to ask Winter if she had her number, but he didn’t want to come across as creepy by getting someone’s number without asking. He tried to look on social media for her, but again, that also came off as creepy. So instead, he decided to wait and let the moment come to him. But here was some random woman to ruin said moment, screaming in Penny’s face, the poor girl looking as though she was trying to hold back tears. He had heard many horror stories with untitled people mistreating those they thought were beneath them, he just didn’t think he would see it happen in front of him, especially to someone he knew. Penny was a sweet girl; she didn’t deserve this.

“Ma’am please, these are the rules I was told to follow, I’m just trying to do my job,” Penny whispered.

“Well you’re not being good at it, are you?!” the woman screamed, “I have connections you know! One call from me and I can get the manager of this dump to fire you!”

It was a meaningless threat, clearly a bluff, but it didn’t stop Penny from turning as pale as a sheet, attempting to take deep breaths to try and keep herself calm.

Alright, enough was enough. Jack already had enough of this woman, particularly after threatening Penny. He noticed that the woman was still holding her thermos of coffee, but just so happened to have the lid off. This is gonna be fun he thought with a mischievous grin, waiting until the woman was standing in the perfect position and bumped into her, spilling the entire beverage all over her cream jacket.

The woman gawked, turning slowly towards him with an enraged glare, “You have some nerve! Do you have any idea how much this jacket cost?!”

“Well judging how you also had to pay for that terrible haircut,” he pointed to her bob, or rather, the poorly cut mess that ended by her ears, “I’m guessing not that much.”

The woman spluttered, holding a hand to her head. It was then that Penny finally noticed him, her mouth agape as he sent her a smirk.

“You are going to pay for this!” the woman angrily stomped her foot, almost mistaking her for a toddler throwing a tantrum, “One call from me and I can make you grovel.”

“Well madam, my friend just so happens to know someone from the FBI, so one call from me and she’ll know not only how you threatened me, but how you also verbally abused her partner’s sister,” his brows furrowed, no hint of any type of humour, letting the woman know just how serious he was, “Yeah, I know the person who has been nothing but kind while serving you, I’ve met her sister and trust me, she won’t be happy about the things I overheard you say. I’m sure that’s something you don’t want on your hands now, is it?” It wasn’t a lie, Winter did know someone from the FBI...because she was that someone. It was how she and Riley met, with the two always being paired for cases and eventually caught feelings for each other.

The woman gulped; all confidence gone when she realised that she lost all control of this situation she believed she could easily weasel her way out of. She shook her head.

“Good,” Jack grinned, “Now here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re going to apologise to this nice lady here, pay for your drink, leave her a good tip and carry on with your day.”

The woman grimaced, knowing better than to try anything else. She took her purse out, getting out the cash that she needed to pay her drink, and a $10 bill to put in the tip jar. “I’m…sorry,” she said through gritted teeth to Penny.

The girl was still in shock over what happened, remaining in a trance as she watched everything go down. She blinked and faced the woman again, “O-oh it’s okay, have a nice day.”

The woman huffed as she stomped past Jack, grinning as he watched her leave with defeat. He turned to Penny, “Well, not how I’d think we’d meet again but it’s good to see you again Penny.”

“Y-yeah, good to see you too,” she still seemed spaced out, slapping her hands against her cheeks to try and get herself out of her daydream, “Sorry, sorry. It just took me by surprise seeing you again while dealing with that customer, then you came in and…oh my god, you actually did that?!”

“Well I couldn’t just leave her yelling at you,” he said, “It still bugs me how people can talk to workers like that.”

“I’m used to it by now, its not the first time I had to deal with an angry customer before,” she shrugged, “Besides, I could handle it, you didn’t need to do that for me.”

Jack walked up to the counter, “But you shouldn’t have to deal with that. Seriously, are you okay?”

At his question, her lips lifted into a small yet grateful smile, it was telling how customers like that affected her when she was having this type of response by someone showing genuine decency, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Jack nodded to her answer, “So, this is my first time here, is there anything you recommend?”

“Are you sure?” she asked, “The menu’s right behind me if there’s something in particular you want.”

“Nah, its fine,” he rested his arms on the counter, “I don’t have any allergies or dairy intolerance. Surprise me.”

“Uh, yeah…yeah okay!” she grinned, already grabbing a red thermos cup – decorated with little Christmas tree for the season – “We have our holiday special, sweet but with a dash of spice. You’re actually the first customer to have it this year. Also, what size of cup would you like?”

“Large please, and I’m honoured,” he placed a hand to his chest dramatically, “Of course the ‘special’ drink is going to me, I am quite charming after all.”

Penny snorted as she started up the coffee machine, “Easy there, it just came out today and many people have had it years before you.”

“Ah, but you didn’t deny the charming part,” Jack leaned in a little bit closer, “Do you think I’m charming Pen?”

Oh god, where did the nicknames come from? Pull yourself together Penny, he probably has nicknames for everyone! The machine beeped; Penny pulled the cup away as she began to add the rest of the ingredient. “So, um, where you headed after this?”

Jack pulled back, he liked to tease but he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, “Oh, I’m just heading to college. Buses got mixed up so I’m just grabbing something to keep me warm before I leave.”

“Oh really?” Penny perked up, interest filling her brown eyes, “What do you study?”

“Game design,” he answered, “It’s been something I’ve been interested in since I was a kid.”

Penny’s smile widened, leaving Jack a bit breathless. He would never get over how beautiful her smile was. “That’s so cool!” Penny marvelled, grabbing whipped cream and red and white sprinkles, “You must have so much fun doing that! Well, I don’t wanna assume but that sounds amazing! I mean, you probably have this whole world figured out in your head and figure out how to make it fun while fitting the story that’s been written and you have to capture every single detail to make it come to life, I mean, that’s gotta be a lot of work! At least I think it is, I don’t know about the whole video game world, oh god, I’m word vomiting again. Shit! I mean, shoot! I’m sorry, don’t tell my boss!”

The whole time, Jack couldn’t help but be in awe of her excitement. I mean, Winter and her family had always shown enthusiasm over his work and always found ways to support him. But why was it different with Penny? He didn’t know her other than what Winter told him about her, but it always left him intrigued of what Riley’s ‘mystery sister’ was like. In the short time he did know her, he found out that she was the sweet yet nervous girl that he wanted to know more about – he still felt bad about her fainting. The way she easily got ecstatic about what he did, it only made him want to know her more. When he noticed that she caught him staring, he coughed awkwardly, making her giggle a bit at his reaction, “No, its okay, I like hearing your quote on quote ‘word vomit’. And don’t worry, I won’t tell your boss.”

Penny looked up, hearing the sincerity in his voice. While it was true that she found him attractive when they met in the funhouse, it was this moment that reminded her why she hoped they would meet again. Despite his wit and cheek, this was a funny yet charming guy that she believed that she could find a friend in. She may or may not also have a small crush on him. She smiled at him, putting the last of the sprinkles on top of the whipped cream and closed up the beverage with the lid. “Here it is, one holiday special,” she beamed, handing him the thermos, “I hope you like it.”

She carefully deposited the warm drink into his hands, their fingers touching briefly before she quickly pulled away, supressing a blush. Jack lifted the drink to his lips, taking a sip, a gentle wave of cinnamon and sugar smoothed over all his senses, with a hint of cardamon and the sweetness of the whipped cream tying the whole coffee together. He hummed at the taste, it was just what he needed, “This really is Christmas in a cup.”

“I’m glad you like it!” she moved to the register, “That will be $3, are you paying with cash or card?”

“Card, thanks,” he pulled it out from his wallet, tapping the little machine and put it away once he heard the beep, “So, what are the rest of your plans for today?”

“Well, I finish my shift by lunch so after that I’ll be heading to my class,” she replied, “And you?”

 “I’ve got a longer day so its I probably won’t be home till late,” he sighed.

“Aw, poor thing,” she giggled. Jack wanted to savour that sound forever.

This is it, Jack! You’ve been waiting for a moment like this, ask her now! “Hey, uh, Penny?”

She looked up as she gathered his receipt, “Yeah?”

“So, I was wondering, if you ever wanted to catch up, like maybe go out for a coffee sometime?”

“Um, I work in a coffee shop,” she stifled a laugh.

“Right! Right, I mean like somewhere else that doesn’t have to be coffee specifically,” he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, “Do you think I could have your number so I could contact you?”

She wasn’t able to hide her blush this time, she could feel it rushing from head to toe. “YES!” she slapped her hands against her mouth, “I mean, yes!” Why can’t I just react like a normal person?

“Great!” Jack was sure he lit up like the lights of a Christmas tree.

“Um, oh, here!” Penny pulled a pen from her pocket, writing down her number on the top of the receipt before handing Jack the little slip of paper, “Just put it into your phone and send me a text, but no cursed memes, got it?”

“Can’t make any promises little lady,” he smirked, pushing down the rushing swell of excitement when he saw the hastily written number in blue ink.

“Excuse me, little?” she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well yeah, look at you, you’re basically pint sized!” he snickered.

“I am a normal height!” she scoffed, “It’s you who’s basically a giant!”

“Well I hate to break it to you little lady,” he was having way too much fun with this, “But you basically came up to my chin when we were in the funhouse, I think I’m already getting a neck ache looking down at you already.”

“Ugh, I regret giving you, my number,” She buried her face into her hands again.

“Too late now little lady!” he chuckled, pocketing the paper and walking out the door, “Oh and Penny, thanks for the coffee. I think I have a new favourite drink.” And person. He pulled out a $20 bill from his wallet, “Here, for your earlier troubles.”

He put the bill into her tip jar. Penny placed a hand on her hip, “Are you just trying to show up that last customer?”

“Of course not,” he denied, his grin said otherwise, “Only a petty person would do that.”

“Sure,” she snorted, “Now go, I don’t want you to be late for your class.”

“Don’t worry, my bus won’t be here till-” he looked behind him, panic filling his face as he noticed the bus begin to close its doors down the street, “-shit! Gotta go!”

He rushed out the shop, Penny clutching her sides as she laughed. If this is what the rest of their friendship was going to be like, she couldn’t wait for the ride.

.

.

.

One Month Later

“Are you texting Penny again?” Winter appeared by Jack’s door, almost making him drop his phone against his computer desk, his headphones around his next while working on the last assignment before the holidays.

“Jesus Winter!” he exclaimed, “Where did you come from?!”

“Riley is visiting her sister for the weekend, so I’d thought to come visit and annoy you,” she grinned. Right, Penny had mentioned a while back that Riley would usually visit home when the holidays arrived. Even after moving in with Winter, the two were always welcome at Riley’s mom’s place when they had their annual leave. “My mom let me come up to see you, but you didn’t answer my question, were you texting Penny again?”

“I might’ve been,” he sent Winter a mock glare, “Didn’t realise you liked to snoop.”

“Oh please, as if you haven’t stuck into my room and messed with my shit, I still remember the centipede invasion,” she shuddered as she walked over to his bed, popping herself down, “You two are getting along pretty well huh?”

He noticed her soften at that last part, “Yeah, we’ve become pretty close.”

“To the point that you’ve been texting her ever since you got her number?” she raised a brow.

“Did your mom tell you that too?” he leant further back into his chair.

“Nope, just a lucky guess. And judging by the flustered look on your face I guessed right,” she laughed as Jack felt his already reddened cheeks.

“Wow, you’re just the worst,” he drawled sarcastically, but he was unable to hide a grin.

“But seriously though,” Winter sobered up, “I’m glad that you guys are getting along. Everyone else and I worry about you a lot since…you know…and I saw that you’ve been getting better with college, therapy and a job, but seeing stuff like this, I don’t know, it just reassures me a bit more. You’re basically like my brother, so I worry about you a lot. But you are doing okay, right?”

“Aww Winter, you do care!” he said, exaggerating his words. But he saw how Winter’s shoulders slumped, as much as the two teased each other, it was clear how much their emotional wellbeing meant to one another, “I’m doing better each day. I’ve actually talked to my therapist about Penny.”

Winter straightened back up right away, “Really, what did Andrea say?”

“I was basically telling her how we met and that we’ve been talking for the past month,” he chuckled a bit, “She was pretty shocked when I told her that I made Penny faint the first time I saw her. But other than that, I told her that while I’m glad I’ve met her, there’s something that’s been gnawing at the back of my head. Its just…Penny doesn’t know what I went through and there’s just this fear that she’ll feel like she needs to take on my problems once I tell her. I’m just scared that she’ll feel like she needs to ‘fix me’, I’ve met people like that and its always terrifying when they break themselves to help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.”

“But you do want to be helped,” Winter interjected quickly.

Jack nodded, “That’s what Andrea said. That and this; there’s a difference between supporting people through their hardships and putting the weight of the world on their shoulders. If Penny sees me, if she truly sees me, she’ll know that as well. But there’s also a part of me that’s afraid that she’s gonna run when I tell her what I went through, I mean I get it, but after this past month she’s someone I don’t want to lose.”

“Well it kinda goes back to what you said before, or rather what Andrea said before. If Penny truly sees you, then she’ll inevitably see the baggage as well,” Winter pointed out. “I mean, my family did. Did we run?”

Jack smiled, nothing smug, nothing playful, just a warm smile. “No, you all definitely didn’t put up with my bullshit, but you never ran…I don’t think I could ever repay what you and your family have done for me.”   

“Trust me when I say that Penny will do the same,” she affirmed, “She won’t quote on quote ‘fix you’, but she won’t run, not after knowing her and Riley through all these years.”

“Yeah,” he nodded before groaning, “God, why is being human so fucking complicated?”

“I have no idea! I’m still wondering how I’ve made it this far!” Winter exclaimed.

Jack shook his head, laughing. Winter gasped, making him stop, her face lighting up as though a lightbulb went off in her head, “Me and Riley were gonna go to the Christmas fair tomorrow, you should invite Penny! It could be a double date!”

“What?!” he nearly fell over in his chair, “Winter, I barely worked up the courage to get her number before seeing her in the coffee shop, what makes you think I’m able to ask her on a date?!”

“Well you don’t have to use word ‘date’,” she shrugged, “Just say that I invited you to come with Riley and I, so you were wondering if she’d like to go with you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously!” Winter grinned, “Come on, mom’s been telling me that when you’re not at college or work, you’re glued to your phone texting Penny. I never knew how much of a simp you were.”

Jack put up his index finger, “Number one, your mom’s a snitch,” he put that one down and then switched to his middle finger and pointed it to Winter, “Number two, fuck you for the simp comment,” he finished with his ring finger, “And three, even if its not a said ‘date’, I still don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t worry,” she reassured him, though her smile looked as though she was hiding something, “I’ll help you with what to say. Besides, I kinda need you to go to. I have…something I need to pick up for Riley and I want to get your verdict.”

“What is it?” he asked.

Winter bit her lip before pulling out her phone, scrolling for a moment before showing him a ring that she found on a jewellery store website. But it wasn’t just any ring, “You’re gonna propose to Riley!”

“Shhh!” she put a finger to her lips, “Not so loud, you dumbass! And yes, I plan on proposing on Christmas day. The place where I’m getting it from is near the fair, so I plan on picking it up then. So not only to I need your opinion, but I also need you, so Riley doesn’t figure anything out.”

“So I’m just the distraction then?” he placed a hand to his chest in a faux manner, “I’m hurt Winter.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Poor you and that,” she waved a hand dismissively, “But seriously, the fair is gonna be a good chance to get the ring sorted and for you and Penny to spend some time together without texting.”

Jack sighed. All in all this did sound like a good opportunity for everyone, but it still didn’t stop him from sweating buckets. However, he thought about Penny. How would her face look in the Christmas lights? What would be her favourite booths there? Would she get excited at the first fall of snow? So many questions ran through his mind, and he desperately wanted the answers to all of them. “Winter,” he grabbed his phone, “Help me ask Penny to the fair.”

“Yes!” Winter pumped her fist in the air and sat on the edge of the bed closest to Jack, “Okay, here’s what you’re gonna do…”

.

.

.

“Come on Penny, let me win!”

“Its not my fault you’re bad at this game!”

Penny and Riley were bundled up in blankets in the former’s bed, dressed in ugly Christmas sweaters as the two punched each button and control on Penny’s Switch controller, the graphics and music of Mario Kart blasting from Penny’s TV in front of them, and Riley was losing badly.

“I bet you’re cheating!” Riley bit her lip in concentration, grunting as she watched her sister overtake her in the race.

“Nope!” Penny popped the ‘p’, “You’re just terrible!”

After a while of struggling and laughing, Penny eventually won the race, leaving Riley to curl up on herself in defeat. “No!” she cried.

“And that’s another win for Penny!” the younger sister cheered, “I’d ask if you wanna play again, but after losing ten times to me, its probably best I pass on that.”

“One day I’m gonna beat you at this game, I swear!” Riley huffed.

“Keep dreaming Riles,” Penny snickered, her sister doing the same as the hype died down.

“So,” Riley started, “Winter told me that you’ve been texting Jack for the past month?”

“Yeah,” Penny smiled, thinking back to that day, “He had to get a different bus to college, and we met at the coffee shop that I work at.” She stopped when she noticed Riley’s frown, as though she were deep in thought, “Don’t tell me you’re still mad at him about the funhouse?”

“I can’t help it,” Riley admitted, “Sure I’m not as mad as before, but when it comes to you and hearing about someone scared you so much to the point of fainting, some kind of kill instinct goes off in my brain.”

“Riley!” Penny chided.

“Not literally!” Riley interrupted, “Pen, you’re my baby sister, and both mom and I have seen what you went through. I know it’s not an excuse, but I can’t help but freak out if something happened to you. But I’ll admit it, I might have exaggerated a ­little bit towards Jack.”

Penny huffed, “A little?”

“Okay, maybe a lot,” Riley rolled her eyes.

“Well you don’t need to worry,” Penny took her sister’s hand in hers, “He actually defended me from a rude customer that day. Some lady was going off at me because I wouldn’t accept her expired coupon, and he stood up for me.”

“Huh,” Riley lent into the pillows, crossing her arms, “Now that I didn’t know.”

“See,” Penny repeated the action, leaning her head on Riley’s shoulder, “I know you’re worried, trust me I get it. There’s still a part of me that’s gonna be wary of everyone that isn’t you, Winter or mom. Hell it took me a while to warm up to Winter and realise that she wasn’t like…them…but I’m getting less afraid each day, its not easy, but I think Jack is a genuinely good person. Besides, I kinda of, well…like him.”

Riley inhaled, her eyes widening a bit, Penny snickering at the reaction before continuing, “Don’t give me that look. Listen, all I want from you is to support me with this, if he’s Winter’s best friend, then he can’t be this ‘big bad Jack’ you’ve made up in your head.”

Riley groaned as her sister laughed at the memory of Winter teasing her on the way back from the Halloween festival. “Well either way,” Riley continued, “I guess that was…nice of him for doing that. But it still doesn’t change the fact that if he hurts you, I will tear his eyes out, shove them down his throat, make him watch as I tear out his heart and bury him alive at the bottom of the ocean!”

“Riley, I love you and all, but if you ever get arrested, I’m not bailing you out of jail,” Penny admitted, her face and voice deadpanned.

“Fair enough,” the older of the two shrugged. Their lips keep trying and failing to not crack a smile, the sisters burst out laughing, howling until their sides hurt and they leant on each other for support.

Once all was quiet, Penny heard her phone ping from her beside table. She grabbed it, noticing the text was from Jack. She gasped.

“What?” Riley stiffened up, her stance sharp and ready to defend, “What happened?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Penny reassured her, leaning closer to her sister to comfort her, “Its Jack, he’s asking me if I wanna join him, you and Winter for the Christmas fair!”

“As if I wasn’t gonna be asking you anyway,” Riley mentioned, earning her a look from her sister, “Alright, sorry, I didn’t mean to be snippy. You really like this guy, don’t you?”

Penny nodded, if she weren’t sitting in her bed, she would be bouncing on her toes. “Yeah, I do. I haven’t felt this sure about liking someone in a while. It just feels right, and I wanna see where this is gonna go. I’m saying yes. But please, for the love of God, when we meet up with him and Winter, be nice.”

“I’ll try,” Riley gritted out, “For you, I know it seems that I’m being overbearing, but I do trust you with this. Besides, I’ll be able to keep my eye on him this way. But if he hurts you-!”

“I know, you’ll bury him alive or whatever,” Penny chortled, “How the hell are we related?”

Riley’s nose crinkled with a cheeky smile, “Beats me.”

“No, I don’t want you contacting me or the girls!”

The two turned to Penny’s door, it has creaked open earlier but the two were so wrapped up in their game to realise. Their mother Amber was standing out in the hallway, a woman in her early 50’s, tall and lithe with red hair like Riley and green eyes. There were small wrinkles by the corners of her lips and forehead, but her overall aura radiated her youth. Right now, she was on the phone, pacing up and down the hall in her pyjamas with a frustrated look on her face.

“How could you say that?!” she questioned the other person on the phone, “I’ve tried to get you help but you never offered to take it!” There was a muffled sentence from the other person, but it was enough for Amber to shake with anger. “David, listen to me when I tell you this, if you ever try to contact the girls, I will fucking end you! No, you don’t have any right! Not after what you did to Penny!”

She looked over to the door, her eyes widening with guilt when she saw Penny and Riley. She was about to say something else before the voice spoke up again, making her turn away. “No! I know you’ve been turning up at Riley’s place…I’m not gonna tell her that! If she doesn’t want to see you, she doesn’t want to see you!”

Penny buried herself into the blankets, emotions that she hadn’t felt since she was younger picking at the back of her head, threatening to invade. What did he have to call now? What else could he want? Why couldn’t he just leave them alone?

Riley noticed her sister’s internal panic, getting up from the bed and closing the door over, settling back into the bed and starting up Mario Kart again. “Come on, give me one more game,” she smiled at Penny, bumping her shoulder, “I bet I can beat you this time.”

It was a series of movements that her older sister had repeated ever since they were kids, habits that still affected them even when they entered adulthood. Nevertheless, Penny returned the smile and the two continued the game. Cheering and making fun of one another, soon, the phone call was forgotten.

.

.

.

“Nervous?” Winter asked as they two parked the car outside of Penny’s home, waiting for the sisters to come out.

“No, of course not, I’m as chill as the ice we’ve been getting,” Jack retorted, his words smoothing over the obvious dread he was feeling.

Winter hummed, “Sure, and I’m guessing that your hands are shaking from the cold…despite the air conditioning in the car.”

“Exactly,” he smirked.

“Hey, its gonna be fine,” Winter placed a hand on his arm, “All we’re gonna do is have a fun day out and see what we get up to. Besides, you don’t think I’m not nervous either?! I’m buying an engagement ring for Riley!”

Jack chuckled, “How are you feeling about that?”

“Both excited and about to shit myself,” Winter replied honestly, “Imagine what its gonna be like when I actually propose.”

“Good luck with that,” Jack snickered, even harder when Winter hit his arm.

The door to Penny’s home opened and the two girls exited the door with another woman who Jack guessed was their mother. “Hey!” Penny grinned as she climbed into the car with Riley, “Sorry if we took too long.”

“Nah, you’re fine,” Winter smiled, reaching over to take Riley’s hand and placing a kiss on it, “Its not as long as Jack’s two-hour baths so you’re fine.”

“Hey!” Jack gaped, Penny giggling at his response.

The older woman knocked on the window, hugging the cardigan she was wearing closer to her as Winter rolled her window down. “Hey, I’m Amber,” she waved to him, “I’m Penny’s mom, I just wanted to officially say hi before you guys left.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you had the chance to meet Jack yet, have you?” Winter pondered.

“That’s on me,” he said, “I’m sometimes a bit funny with other people, but I think I’ve seen you sometimes when you or Riley visit. Sorry if I’ve never introduced myself, its usually because I’m busy or-”

“-Or being a social recluse,” Winter finished for him.

“Winter, I swear to God!” he started, but stopped when he heard Penny’s laugh. How did it sound so lovely each time he heard it?

“Well its nice to meet you too,” Amber grinned, sharing a look with her youngest daughter before turning back to Jack, “You’re all Penny would talk about. So it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Mom!” Penny cried.

“What?” Amber asked rhetorically, “I just wanted to get to know the guy that stole your heart. And he’s handsome too, good job baby.”

Penny brought her knees to her chest, mumbling into them, “Please just kill me now.”

“I’d like this conversation to end as well,” Riley butted in, glaring at her mother, “And I’d like my mom to stop scheming over my little sister please.”

Amber put her hands up in surrender, backing away from the car, “Okay, okay. Jack, make sure you bring Penny home safe, otherwise I won’t be able to control what Riley’s gonna do to you.”

Jack gulped when he heard the older sister crack her knuckles from the seat behind him, “Got it ma’am.”

“Winter,” She turned to the girl in the driver’s seat, “You take care of my other baby as well, alright?”

“You got it Ms Reed!” Winter gave the woman a thumbs up before placing her hands back in the steering wheel, “We’ll see you later!”

Amber waved as Winter started the car, waiting until it drove off before heading back inside, but before she went through the door, she faced back to where the car was sitting before. “Whoever’s out there, please give Penny a chance to be happy.”

.

.

.

“Wow!” Penny gasped, being the first to step out the car as soon as it was parked, “Look at this place!”

What was ahead could only be described as a winter wonderland. Many of the stalls there were decorated like Christmas trees or gingerbread houses, flashing lights of red, white and yellow were hung from each to toe of each building, the sweet smell of hot chocolate and other sweets roamed the air, there were minigames and the Ferris wheel was bright with multicoloured lights, and by the end of it all, the parade would begin along with fireworks.

Penny chittered, but there so no source of cold to make her react that way, there was nothing pure excitement fuelling her body. “Isn’t this incredible!” she called out to the others as they got out of the car.

“I’ve gotta say, they really went all out this year,” Jack walked up to her, marvelling the sight. Well, that and the way Penny shone just like each of the lights there.

“Okay, here’s what I think we should do,” Winter spoke up, “We’ll look at a few stalls and games, then we’ll break off into two, Jack will go with me, and Penny and Riley can go together-”

“Wait, why do you want to split up?” Riley asked.

“Oh, um, you know cause-” Winter stuttered.

“Because there’s this place that I’ve been pestering Winter to see,” Jack interjected, “I just think it would be pretty special to her so that’s why I wanted to take her myself.” He looked over to Winter, who was sighing with relief.

“Oh, yeah that’s fine,” Riley went over to her girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, right so anyways,” Winter continued, “After that we should all meet up and check out the food, maybe a few more games, then we can stop and warm up with some hot chocolate at the café before the parade and fireworks.”

Penny grinned, “I think that’s sounds great.”

“I’m cool with that,” Jack nodded.

“It sounds great hon,” Riley placed a gentle kiss on Winter’s lips, the latter blushing before pressing her forehead against Riley’s.

“Okay,” Winter beamed, “Let’s go.”

They spent the next few hours doing just that. Jack quickly learned that while Halloween wasn’t Penny’s thing, Christmas definitely was. The way she bounced from stall to stall, admiring every little ornament and item they had for sale. She bought at least three bobbles, one bolt of new fabric – she squealed when she saw festive selection – and a new snow globe. Jack didn’t find himself minding one bit, just seeing her smile and as went into detail with every little thing warmed him so much that he couldn’t register the cold.

Riley and Winter were also having their own fun. Winter had dragged Riley into a photo session with statues of elves and reindeer, Winter had decided to place elf ears and fake antlers on Riley when she wasn’t looking before the photos, chortling at her bewildered reaction when Riley finally realised what she did.

There were many games to chose from as well, from balloon darts to ring tosses to even rides such as tilt-a-whirls, spinning teacups and bumper cars. Jack and Penny had settled on a high striker for their first game, with Jack determined to win and buy a stuffed bear for Penny. While he did get a good swing, it didn’t manage to reach the top. When Penny had her go, she swung the hammer as hard as she could, closing her eyes and bracing for impact as she hit the bottom, cheering when she heard the ring of the bell, and the prized bear was handed to her. What made it all worth it was the bewildered look on Jack’s face, both impressed and terrified of her strength.

The group had fun, taking photos, laughing and all around having a good time, but Riley didn’t let Jack and Penny out of her sight for a second. Perhaps she was being overprotective, and she knew Jack was a good guy before he and Penny met but did that stop her from wanting to keep her sister as safe as possible, absolutely not. She was pretty sure she was more protective over Penny than her mother, and she had seen how seriously Amber took her girls safety. After all, hell hath no fury like a mama bear.

Soon, when the time came, Jack and Winter split up from Penny and Riley, promising to be back as quick as they could while the two sisters decided to go on the Ferris wheel. Soon, the ring was picked up and boxed, secure in Winter’s bag as she and Jack made it back to the sisters, with Riley none the wiser of what her girlfriend had planned.

A while later, after two more stalls, four games and deliciously made crepes, the four made it over to the café and picked out a booth near the back. Winter placed her jacket on the plush seat, letting the warmth soak over her. “Well I think its time for a break,” she eyed Jack and Penny, smirking as a planned formed in her head, “Why don’t you two catch up, after all we’ve been a group since we came here, you two probably wanna talk a little bit. Riley, mind helping me with the hot chocolate.”

Riley’s protective senses came flooding back at the thought of Jack and Penny together, “Actually I-”

“-You’re helping,” Winter pulled her girlfriend out of her seat, with Riley sending a warning glare at Jack before walking away.

Now that the two were alone, they could finally have a moment without Winter and Riley hovering (especially Riley). “So, are you enjoying yourself so far?” Jack asked.

“Um, hell yeah!” Penny exclaimed, “I’m pretty sure that Christmas has been part of my DNA since I was a kid.”

Jack chuckled, “That far back huh?”

“Yeah,” Penny smiled.

Jack shuffled in his seat a bit, he had planned on telling Penny more about himself tonight, more in depth than any other conversation they’ve ever had, but it didn’t stop him from the fear running through his veins. But he had to tell her, he wanted to tell her. “Hey, Pen?”

“Yeah?” The girl looked up at him.

“Do you remember when you asked me how I first met Winter?” he gripped his jeans, bundling the fabric in his hands.

“Oh, yes I remember that” she remembered the nervous flicker, there definitely more there but she didn’t want to pry, since they had only met that day on Halloween, “Why?”

“I, um, there’s a bit more to it than I said,” he gulped, “And I wanted to tell you once we got to know each other a bit more, but since we’ve known each other a bit more this past month, I wanted to tell you the full thing.”

“Of course,” Penny straightened, ready to hear everything he said, good or bad, “Just, if you feel like you can’t tell me everything don’t feel like you need to keep going.”

“Right, right. Sorry I just…”

“Take your time,” Penny spoke softly, “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”

(1)

“I do, it’s just, really hard,” He took a deep breath, there was no turning back, “While Winter and I did meet in high school, before any of that I didn’t really have a great upbringing. My folks died when I was 2 and I don’t really remember them that well. Anyways, I was in the system for a few years being tossed around from family to family, some of them were good and some of them were terrible, until I was adopted by this family, real ‘moral’ citizen kind of people,” he scoffed, “They were anything but that. The dad was a narcissist, he never believed he did anything wrong and if you’d get in his way, he'd…well, we was a smoker so if I ever did anything he didn’t like, he’d burn me with his cigarette.” Penny gasped; he wondered if he should stop but the look in her eyes told him to continue. “Anyways, the mom just ignored it, after all we had to be the ‘picture perfect family who took in a poor orphan boy’, anytime I’d ask for help she’d say that I did something wrong and turn away.

But then there was their kid, Luke. He was a few years older than me, but he made sure me made my life hell. He’d beat me, spit on me, say things that still won’t leave me head till this day. One time he was choking me so hard that I thought I was gonna die, luckily his mom pulled him off me, but she put make-up on my neck to hide the evidence and went about her day. No matter what I did, Luke was always there, grinning, plotting on what he could do to me next. Then I met Winter in high school, one day I wasn’t able to hide my bruises and she saw. Her mom was a teacher there and she told her straight away. The next thing I knew I was eating lunch in her classroom. I remembered just how kind they both were, how they didn’t judge me…believed me. I think that was the first time I let people see me cry.

Anyway, Winter’s family tried to get me out of that place, tried to report it, but no one did anything about it, and Luke made sure that I paid for it getting out. Winter stuck to me like glue ever since, she kept an eye on me even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I got bad and told her to fuck off, she told me straight up that she wasn’t gonna take my bullshit, she humbled a quite a bit then. But even though she didn’t put up with me being a dick, thank God, she never gave up on me. I knew then that even if it was hard, I couldn’t become like the people who hurt me, no matter how many voices there were, I didn’t want to lose anyone like Winter and be what I hated.

As soon as I was old enough to be emancipated, I moved out of that house and in with Winter’s family. The transition was so jarring, and I affected me a lot, I was abrasive, loud and rude. I just wasn’t able to handle the fact that there were people who actually cared about me, so I lashed out. Eventually I was sat down, and if I thought Winter could humble me, the rest of her family did it tenfold. I was so prepared for them to kick me out, to never want to see me again, but they didn’t. Instead, they comforted me, told me that I was safe and the next thing I knew, they were helping me set up therapy appointments to help me out. It took a while, but I tried getting on my feet again, I applied and got into college and even got a job as a scare actor. I’m still living with her family, but I’ve never felt freer in my life! I don’t think I could ever repay them or Winter for all they’ve done for me, sure there’s days that are harder than the rest, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

(2)

He took a breath as he finished and looked at Penny, her eyes were wide yet focused, taking in everything that he had said. It like a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulder. “I’m sorry if that was a bit much but-”

“Don’t be sorry!” Penny interjected, “I’m glad you told me, I just can’t believe that happened to you.”

“Some people are amazing, some people aren’t,” he sighed, “I want to be like the people who see the world with the potential it had…someone like you. I’ve wanted to tell you for some time, but I just didn’t want you to feel burdened by it, like you had to carry my weight as well.”

“I get it, honestly I do,” she replied, “I understand that this is a complex situation to talk about, but I’m glad that you did talk about it. Are you still in therapy?”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded, “The therapist is great, I don’t think I would be able to be like this if it wasn’t for her.”

“Well, if were gonna be talking about shitty childhoods, I guess…” Penny clenched her hands into fists.

“Pen,” Jack said quickly, “Don’t feel like you’ve gotta say anything because I did.”

(3)

“I want to,” Penny murmured, “Trust me, I want to tell you.” She took a moment to prepare herself. “Before I was born, my mom and dad were extremely in love, like, they were high school sweethearts who gushed over each other and got married in college. I also know that he and Riley were pretty close as well. But then, my mom found out she was pregnant with me. They wanted a second kid, but they never expected it so soon. My mom was happy but my David, my dad, while he said he was happy, looking back on it now I think he was only just saying that. I was born premature, and I was really sick, so I had to spend more time at the hospital. I think I was there for a few months, and my parents had to work extra hard to pay the medical bills. It was then that it was found out that David had been embezzling funds from the company he worked at, and it was my birth and medical bills that messed everything up for him. So one thing led to another, and he got fired. My mom wasn’t happy but eventually it was paid off.

I think that was a catalyst was a lot of things that happened in my life. Ever since then David was a completely different person. He stopped spending time with Riley, he didn’t help my mom whenever I needed fed or changed, and he wasn’t able to hold a job for long. It was also then I realised something that’s pretty fucked up for a kid, I don’t think anyone is supposed to think at 5 years old ‘why does my dad not like me?’ If I was ever alone in a room with him, he would just say such awful things to me, he called me worthless, pathetic, that I better be something great when I’m older otherwise I’m just a waste. That was just the tip of the iceberg. I would always be terrified to show too much of any emotion, whether it was happy, sad, scared, he would just scream at me to the point where I would just stop talking, I was just too scared to do anything at all. When I started middle school, I just became this shell of a person, I wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t move, always flinch. The thing is, when you act in a way that’s ‘different’ to others, it makes you a target. Soon, it became a norm for people to call me names, trip me, kick me. I still got sick a lot due being ill at birth, so it caused me to lose a lot of weight, and everyone made sure that they noticed. It got to the point where it was so bad that I was afraid to go to the bathroom in case there was anyone there. I hated everything about myself. I was too quiet. I was too scared. I hated my body. I just really fucking hated myself.

My parents’ marriage began to become more strained; they fought a lot and Riley realised how much David really sucked as a person. Whenever their fights got too loud, she would close the door and distract me with something like a game or a movie. My mom had to work overtime since David wasn’t working anymore so Riley had to make sure I was okay since he wouldn’t go an inch near me. I still think about how Riley was forced to grow up, because of me. She couldn’t go to parties or have fun because she was busy taking care of me. She said that she didn’t mind, but no one should be forced to give up their childhood, I ruined that for her.

One day, neither my mom nor Riley could get me from school, so David had to get me. He was acting like he usually did but there was something off about how he acted. He was complaining while driving us home, how he shouldn’t be doing this that he had better things to do that pick up his own daughter from school. He was driving so fast, he kept swerving from side to side, I though I was gonna be sick. But then, before I had time to react, we crashed. I remember just being in so much pain, I kept thinking that the last time I saw my mom and Riley would really be the last time. I woke up in the hospital later, Riley and my mom were by side, crying and saying how scared they were. Later we found out that David had been drinking and driving, in fact he had been drinking for a while. He just got worse at hiding it. The minute my mom found out she immediately filed for a divorce, ever since then she felt guilty about not doing sooner, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten hurt. There were times after that when David tried to reconnect with Riley and I, but we were just done with him.

After hearing about the crash and the divorce, I became a bigger target at school. The name calling and the beating got worse, if people pointed out about my weight before then they also pointed the scars that I got from the crash. It just really hit me how cruel people wanted to be. Eventually it got so bad that I just shut down, emotionally and physically. I just numbed myself to the point that I neglected my basic needs, I didn’t eat, I struggled to sleep, it just got really bad. My mom and Riley noticed, and they both tried to help, but I just couldn’t find any point to try. But then it all caught up to me, I was taking a bath and I just…passed out, there and then. I was lucky that I left the door unlocked, Riley managed to find me and screamed at my mom to phone an ambulance. When I came to it was from my mom performing CPR, she held me and cried that my heart stopped for two minutes. I think about that day a lot, how bad it got, I still hate how scared Riley and my mom were. I never wanted to make them feel that way again.

So I decided to get help, I went to a support group for a while and tried taking care of myself again, with Riley and mom’s support. I was also pulled out of school and finished the rest of the year online before being homeschooled, honestly for my sanity, it was for the best. I really struggled getting into a good routine and wanting to take care of myself, but I know that I’d rather try to be happy and see what life can offer me than hit another low like that again, because I know that all I did was make things worse for everyone. As for David, he’s been in and out of rehab a few times, but he’s never made any real effort to stay sober.”

(4)

She huffed as she finished that last sentence, she lifted her head to face Jack, gasping when she noticed tears spilling down his cheeks, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you!”

“No, no!” He hastily wiped them away, “You don’t need to be sorry for anything! I can’t believe that happened to you!”

Penny sniffed, “Pot calling the kettle black don’t you think? Besides, I’m doing better now. College is good, I’m surrounded by good people. I know you say that you wanna see the world I do, but I kind of have to. If we can’t see the world for what it offered us, how can we be human?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he wiped away another tear, “Just, all this shit we’ve been through, sometimes you forget how hard it hits.”

“Its like what you and I said about costume and game design,” Penny said, “We used what we loved to help us with it all.”

“Even if its still hard sometimes,” Jack finished.

“Yeah,” Penny nodded, “Even then.”

“Penny, I’m sorry that all that happened to you,” Jack whispered, gently taking her hand under the table, “This is gonna sound really corny, but for what its worth, I see you.”

Penny’s breath hitched, Jack’s thumb stroked her hand, providing comfort after all they had laid out. She won’t lie, there was still a part of her that was scared now that there was nothing hiding the bad stuff anymore, and she was sure he felt the same. But there was also something else, courage. Courage to see this through, courage to remind her that there are people who will care and love her, Jack was one of them. “Jack, I see you too.”

He let out a shudder, tension releasing from his muscles. This girl was truly something else, and after hearing what she went through, he was going to follow his own advice. He understood why Riley was so protective over her, he would be the same if it was Winter in that situation. There was still that still wanted to hide, but he couldn’t, not from her. It was then he realised how deep and far he had fallen for Penny.

Two mugs were slammed onto the table, provided by an exasperated looking Riley, “Well that took longer than it should’ve.”

“It’s a busy fair this year, I’m not surprised the que was that long,” Winter interjected, placing down two other mugs of steaming hot chocolate, “So, did you guys have anything to talk about?”

Jack and Penny shared a look, just one but it shared much more than just a ‘talk’. “Yeah,” Jack nodded, “We did”.

The group made sure to savour the hot chocolate that they were given, the sweet taste warming them as they kept an eye on the time. Once they were down, the gathered their jackets and headed back outside again, anticipating the parade that was about to begin.

The moment the first float came out, the crowd erupted into cheers. Each of them had a different them yet kept it related to the holiday season, but the crowd favourite and what got everyone to cheer was the last one carrying an actor of Santa with real reindeer with their reigns held by professionals where the ‘Santa’ waved from his sleigh.

As soon as the parade ended, the fireworks began, lighting the sky with red, green and yellow. It Jack didn’t think Penny looked pretty before, seeing the fireworks reflect in her eyes made her look beautiful. He was sure that a core memory had been created right then and there, locked away in the back of his head, but he didn’t mind one bit. And certainly didn’t mind when Penny held his hand as they watched the fireworks, both of them ignoring the sudden racing of their hearts.

The night was over. The stalls began to close, and each light went off one by one as everyone walked back to their cars.

During the drive home, the group would talk about all they saw that night, commenting on what was their favourite out of the whole fair. Riley had set next to Winter this time while Jack and Penny shared the back, enjoying one another’s company.

Soon, Winter rolled the car up by Amber’s house, letting the girls out. Winter and Jack got out as well, wanting to walk them to the door before they left. Riley and Winter shared one last kiss, the former was going to stay another night at her sister’s place before going back home with Winter tomorrow, but with they way the couple was acting was almost straight out of a soap opera, as if it would be eternity before seeing the other again.

As Winter went to hug Penny, Riley looked over to Jack. “Look here smart guy,” she growled, “Penny is really important to me, so if I find out you’ve been messing with her, I will tear you limb from limb. So consider this you’re last and only warning.”

Jack nodded, shivering not just from the cold, but mostly from the icy stare down that Riley was giving him. “I understand, really,” he reassured her, “You’re a good sister Riley.”

The stare melted a bit, not a lot but just a bit, Riley’s features softening slightly, “I know I am.”

Winter and Penny pulled away, “I’ll see you tomorrow Riley, Jack are you coming?”

“Just a sec Winter,” Jack went to face Penny, “I just wanna say bye to Penny first.”

Winter grinned, “Oh of course, I’m just gonna head to the car.”

“And I’ll just wait out here,” Riley crossed her arms just as the front door opened, revealing Amber.

“Oh hey guys you’re back,” Amber smiled, “Did you have fun?”

“We did mom,” said Penny, “I was just saying bye to Jack.”

“Oh well in that case, Riley could you come in here for a bit I need your help with something?” Amber asked, her smile was all-knowing as she looked at Jack and Penny.

“As a matter of fact-” Riley interjected.

“-She doesn’t mind at all,” Winter shoved her inside.

“GODDAMMIT-!” Riley shouted before Amber slammed the door.

“Like I said, I’ll be in the car,” Winter skipped away, leaving the two by the door.

“Do you have any idea what that was about?” Penny questioned.

Jack shook his head, “Not a clue.”

Penny put her hands behind her back, staring at her feet shyly before peering back up at him, “I had a lot of fun, thanks for inviting me.”

“I think you being there made it a lot more fun,” Jack admitted, watching the way pink dotted Penny’s cheeks, “Are you still okay after all that?”

Penny nodded, “Yeah, you?”  

“Mmhmm,” Jack hummed affirmatively, “Just text me wanna hang out again.”

“I will,” Penny agreed, “Probably after Christmas, but I think Riley, mom and I are coming to your house for Christmas dinner.”

“Really?” Jack lit up, noticing how he sounded before sobering himself up again, “I mean yeah that’s great; I can’t wait to see you then.”

Penny giggled, “Smooth. Well, goodnight then.”

“Goodnight Penny,” Jack whispered one more time, turning away.

Penny was about to go inside when she decided to do one more thing while she still had the courage, after all, the night was still young. “Jack, wait!”

He lifted his head at the call of his name, “What? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, its just, um, you f-forgot something,” Penny stammered, working herself up as much as she could, “You forgot this.”

She planted a kiss on his cheek, pulling away quickly. Jack’s mouth was agape, a small gasp escaping, but he didn’t know how else to express the adrenaline he felt internally. The night couldn’t have ended more perfect, with the lamp on the sidewalk illuminating the two as the falling snow powdered round them. He blinked the surprise away, smirking down at Penny as the girl blushed at her actions, “Thanks little lady.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and oh how her face turned even redder than a Christmas light.  

“I-I,” she stuttered, every part of her was rushing, cheering, yet all she could say was, “I’M NOT LITTLE GOODNIGHT!” Before running back into the house.

Jack chuckled, walking back to the car and sitting in the passenger seat. He could feel Winter’s teasing eyes on him, “Shut up.” His voice had no malice and the lovestruck grin was still plastered on his face.

Winter chuckled, driving away into the night. Jack smiled, he fell hard, and he loved every bit of it.

.

.

.

Jax bolted up in bed, grumbling. Here he thought he wouldn’t have another dream, yet fate had other plans. He placed his hands on his cheeks, feeling a wetness on his fur. Was he seriously crying in his dream? “Why does this keep getting weirder?” he mumbled to himself.

He raised a hand to his cheek again, to the same place Penny kissed Jack. One reason why he hated these dreams feeling so real was because he wanted that. He wanted someone just to like him, not even romantically but to just like him. Someone who could take a chance to actually want to know him, like how Penny wanted to know Jack. But he knew why though, he kept pushing everyone away who actually tried. The only thing he remembered from his first day here was nothing but fear, and the feeling of his past-self fleeting away, slipping from his fingers and before he knew it, he was reduced to nothing but a cowardly rabbit, finding it easier to just bite at whoever came near him than feel that fear again. Caine didn’t seem to care, as long as it made for a fun adventure.

He hated Jack, he hated that he seemed happier, he hated that he was brave enough to admit that he was scared, he hated how he had a family, a friend, that he felt the freedom of falling in love and wanting to maintain it. “Shut up Jax!” he growled to himself, “It’s a dream, just a dream, its not real!” But oh how he wanted it to be real.

He tried to ignore it for the rest of the day, focusing on how he could mess with the others, maybe he could steal one of Kinger’s pillows from his fortress. It all came to a halt when he heard the sound of two familiar voices.

“I’ve given you multiple chances to do this adventure!” Caine boomed throughout the tent, “Yet each time you don’t play it right! You are a jester, play your part!”

It wasn’t the first time Jax heard how angry Caine could be, the AI could be flat out terrifying went he wanted to be. He was curious about what him so angry. He peered round the corner and that’s when he saw it, Pomni cowering beneath Caine as he yelled at her.   

“I’m sorry, I’m trying I promise I’m trying!” she sniffled, “But you didn’t give me a chance to prepare when you threw those knifes at me! I didn’t even know it was going to be an adventure, I’m not even sure if I was a jester in my past life-”

“-This is your new life!” Caine thundered, making everyone else come in to see what was going on, but backing up when sensing Caine’s mood. This place was risky, but nothing worried them more than seeing Caine reach his limit. “If I ever hear you speak about an exit again so help me Pomni!”

“But I didn’t-”

“You are Pomni! You are a jester! This is your life!” Caine screamed, “If it takes throwing knifes at you to make you realise then so be it!”

Pomni curled in on herself, looking smaller than she ever did. It was then something triggered in Jax, a sense to run, a sense to defend her, a sense to rid her of the fear that Caine was installing in her.

I would always be terrified to show too much of any emotion, whether it was happy, sad, scared, he would just scream at me to the point where I would just stop talking, I was just too scared to do anything at all.

He had no self-control over what happened next. One moment he was at the side like everyone else, watching the whole thing go down. Next, he was in front of Pomni, starting at Caine as the AI tilted his head at Jax’s new and sudden behaviour.

The rest of the crew was shocked as well, Jax would’ve never have done this for anyone, yet Pomni was here for barely three months, and he was glaring at Caine without the slightest ounce of fear, and if he did feel it, he didn’t dare show it. Even Pomni was taken aback, uncurling herself to look at the rabbit in front of her.

“Jax,” Caine spoke quietly and softly, but it was dreadfully eerie, “What is the meaning of this?”

Jax knew he had to say something, Caine was smarter than he let on, so he had to play his cards right and stay in character, “Oh you know, I was gonna keep it to myself but Bubble currently loose in the carnival outside, I think he said something about being glad he was free reign of kitchen supplies?”

There was a beat, but it felt like forever with how Caine was staring at him, calculating each word Jax said within his digital consciousness. Jax tried to keep calm, trying not to lose focus when Caine gasped dramatically, the encounter already forgotten. “Not the carnival!” he screeched with panic before floating out the tent, “Bubble! You parasite! Don’t you dare touch that rollercoaster!”  

Jax nearly sighed with relief, the way Pomni looked so afraid, it reminded him too much of Penny and how she described her dad. Maybe what he did would come back to bite him later, but right now, he just couldn’t bare to see Pomni so scared. Because its only fun to mess with myself that’s why Jax defended internally, you just pitied her that’s what!

“Um,” Pomni’s small voice broke him out of his daze, he turned to see the jester clutching her hands together, “Thanks, for that.”

“Well the carnival is mildly entertaining, so I didn’t want to let Bubble destroy it,” he replied, trying to ignore the sting in his chest at the way Pomni’s face fell. He sighed, “You’re welcome little lady.”

Pomni’s head shot up fast, did he just say? No, that was your imagination, there’s no way he said that!

Pomni’s dreams had also returned the other night, leaving her waking up with tear-stained cheeks and flustered screeching. She remembered how Jack pressed his lips to Penny’s forehead, how she could somehow feel the imprint on her own head when she woke up. But that wasn’t possible, it wasn’t real, they weren’t real! Nothing but her mind playing tricks on her again and she thought she could forget about it, but Caine had magicked her on a wheel and began throwing knifes at her. She had freaked out and tried to get away, not realising that it was one of his ‘adventures’ before he started screaming at her. Then Jax swooped in, why did he do that, what could he hope to gain?

And then there was the ‘little lady’ comment and the déjà vu swelled up in her brain again. Why did her heart start racing when Jax said it? She shouldn’t be reacting this way, before after how he tucked her hair behind her ear the other night, and now this, she wasn’t sure if she could fight off being flustered anymore.

“Um, yeah, cool, we’re cool right?” she cringed at herself for that one, Jax even looked a bit confused at that, “I’m just gonna-” she bolted down the hall and back to her room to save herself from anymore embarrassment.

Jax shook his head and chuckled, Pomni was just too cute sometimes, he wouldn’t deny it, you can’t deny something that’s true right?

“Um Jax?” Gangle walked up to him, making him grunt as he faced her, “Bubble hasn’t been outside all day.”

Damn it, caught! “Jax,” Ragatha raised a brow at him, “What’s going on?”

“What?” he tried to save face as much as he could, “I can’t mess with dentures from time to time?”

“Oh please,” Zooble grumbled, “As if you were thinking about messing with Caine. We’re not blind you idiot; everyone can see that you did this for Pomni.”

 “Seriously, you really think I’m going soft for the newbie,” that was a boldfaced lie, and everyone knew it, “Kinger, Hoo haa, back me up on this buddy.”

The chess piece only stared at the group, silent for a while before saying, “Is this about an insect collection?”

“…See, just wanted to mess with Caine,” it wasn’t much but it was the best that he could save himself, “Now if you don’t mind, I don’t want to see the rest of you for the day, goodbye!”

He shoved himself past them all, ignoring the knowing looks on his back. He didn’t feel anything for Pomni, there was no way. After all that would be ridiculous, like having sudden dreams in this dimension type of ridiculous. After all it wasn’t as if he was curious about what her laugh sounded like, or how beautifully unique her eyes looked, or if he spent last night falling asleep while thinking about her…

…oh no.

[sarasa-cat]

bagels. Fml.

It is hard to get good (as in Real Actual Bagels) where I live but I did indeed get my hands on some and they were soooo good. Breakfast item for past three days

But I knew it was risky

Bc... yeah, I don't really deal with certain kinds of foods like these

So... first it was some mild gastric regret

BUT NOW it is full blown migraine ugggghhhhhh. I just popped my sublingual anti nausea and stop room from spinning drug. Actually, I take these so infrequently now that I think my box of them are expired (but they still work). TOo many carrrbbbbbbsss of certain specific kinds (the carbs that do not agree with me vs those that are perfectly fine) too many days in a row is guaranteed to cause TroUbLe. Unless, perhaps, I am running and burning off those carbs but no. not this time.

Prolly didn't help that I was fighting off some cold. That sort of thing will create PROBLEMS. Like this.

Although for me, these days, when I say "full blow migraine" it is hard to explain to ppl who have

No

FUcking

Clue

That migraine is NOT a headache. It is a neurological disorder (that may also be a metabolic disorder).

In fact, I no longer get those splitting fucking headaches that I used to get when I migraine.

Furthermore, during the first 10-15 yrs of migraining, I didn't even realize they were migraines because I had ZERO headache. Only once I started also developing headache symptoms that dumbfucks in the medical establishment started making rando rando guesses.

But I digress.

Anyhow--- right now I look and sound neurologically disabled (Which I currently/temporarily am) but it will all renormalize once this passes.

Right now I literally need all the electrolytes and exceedingly darker than dark bitter chocolate. Literally not joking. That, plus rest. And I'll be better.

But also, note to self: ask doc to refill my anti-nausea/stop-the-room-from-spinning drug ASAP bc I should pack it and carry with while gone in July. holy fuck. it is almost july.

ugh.

[bakugo-dee]

WTF

Bakugo x Kirishima x Reader (female)

Warning: Some cursing

“What do you mean I am being benched?” you yelled at the Commissioner as you paced around the room. “I am the top Hero here, Tsukauchi! Why the heck would you do this to me? Besides, you know you need me for the next mission!?” “We received intel on current situations that threaten your safety. It seems that you are being targeted by the League of Villains (LV) and your recent run-in with Dabi has all agencies on high alert.” Tsukauchi sat behind his desk rubbing his temples as if trying to relieve a headache. “OH?! (you exclaimed, stopping in your tracks) All agencies huh?” “Yes. All agencies.” You crossed your arms and gave him a side glance “So…which one gave you the intel?” “Dynamight’s.” “Dynamight?!” you slammed your hands on his desk “Y…yes.” You knew better than to be taking your frustration out on the man in front of you. This turn of events wasn’t his doing after all. He was just following protocol. You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration and softly sighed “I see.” You turned to exit the Commissioner’s office “(Y/H/N)…wh…where are you going? This is only temporary. At least until we can figure out why the League is after you.” “You already know why. And don’t worry,  I’ll be back. Right after I set HIS ass on FIRE!!!!” With a confused look on his face, Tsukauchi watched as you let the door slam behind you “His ass? She doesn’t mean Dynamight’s…does she?” 

No one at Hero Public Safety Commision (HPSC) knew of your current relationship with the #2 Hero Dynamight and the #8 Hero Red Riot. Due to your line of work, it was safer this way. Heck, other than Naomasa Tsukauchi, who had recently been elected President of the HPSC, no one even knew your true identity. The saddest part out of all this secrecy was that not even your own boyfriends knew just how powerful you were. 

Your telekinesis quirk had manifested at an early age and it quickly caught the attention of the HPSC. Your quirk not only allowed you to move objects, but you could also manipulate matter at will. Your limitation was your own imagination. The HPSC approached your family with an offer to have you trained as a member of an elite group of heroes but you would need to keep your abilities a secret. You were allowed to attend UA as part of the General Studies course and that’s where you met the boys.    

“UGH! DAMN YOU KATSUKI! Why the heck aren’t you answering your phone?” You threw your cell phone over to the passenger seat of your SUV. All your calls kept going to voicemail and he wasn’t reading any of your text messages. The staff at his agency wouldn’t tell you where he was, only that he wasn’t available. This of course was standard procedure. They don’t know your Dynamight’s girlfriend and as far as they’re concerned you could be a villain plotting to attack the #2 Hero. 

Your heart was racing with anger as you pulled up to the front gate and saw thier cars parked in the driveway. Trying to keep your calm, you think back to the day on the lake when the three of you confessed your feelings for each other. How the heck do 3 best friends fall in love with one another. The thought still baffled you but the past year had been so amazing and now here you were sharing a home with them. Even though you had some reservation at first. Things had been going great up until 2 weeks ago when you were approached by the notorious villain, Dabi. 

Your undercover job at the Hero Commission was working in the PR Department. You were at a mall signing with some sidekicks and that’s where Dabi saw you. He was scoping the scene to gain intel for the LV and took a liking to you. He had no clue who you were, much less that you were a Secret Agent for the HPSC or in a relationship with the #2 and #8 Heroes. He managed to corner you behind the stage and struck up a conversation. Before you knew it he was trying to recruit you into the League of Villains and then tried kidnapping you when you refused. After a brief scuffle which led to a fight between him and the present Heroes, he escaped and you managed to walk away with only a few minor burns. However, the whole ordeal freaked out your overprotective boyfriends and for the past few weeks they have been pushing you to quit your job and stay home where they could keep you safe. Their lack of faith in your abilities has made you bitter towards them but then how could you blame them, they don’t know what you’re capable of.  

You rush into the house and are quickly greeted by Kirishima hugging you. “Hey baby! You’re home early. Wha…what are you wearing?” In your rush to get home to confront Katsuki you forgot to change out of your hero costume. “Ummm…Nevermind that…where is HE?!?!” “Bakugo?” “YES! Bakugo! Where the HELL is he?!” “Baby are you ok? You seem a little agitated.” “OH! I seem a little agitated. I am way passed agitated! Where the FUCK is he RED?!” “Ummm…baby??” You push a stunned Kirishima aside and head to the outdoor training facility. He chased after you, but to his surprise you were so much faster than him. At this point you are so angry that you are no longer in control of your quirk and flames start to spread all over your body.     

You smash the doors to the training facility “BAKUGO KATSUKI!!!!” You have now unleashed the full power of your quirk and are flying high engulfed in flames. Bakugo is staring at you in horror and disbelief. “Princess??? You…you…can fly? What the CRAP!?” You start shooting flames and hurling nearby objects at him simultaneously. “Baby Girl? What the…? Stop…you idiot.” He tries to dodge your attacks but one after another you land them all. You manage to pin him under a boulder, knocking him unconscious. “(Y/N)!!!!” Kirishima finally runs in “STOP!!!! What are you doing? You’re going to kill him!” and with those words you look down to where Katsuki is lying. The shock of what you have just done over takes you and you collapse to the ground in tears. “Katsuki? I…I…I’m sorry.” You lift the boulder off of him as Kirishima rushes to his side. 

“Is…is he ok?” “He’s unconscious. We need to get him to the hospital. He might have head trauma.” “What?” “Com’on.” Kirishima lifts him up in one swoop and the two of you rush to the car. You climb in the back seat of the truck and Kiri places Bakugo in your lab. “Katsuki…babe…I am so sorry. Please be ok. I didn’t mean to…” You say softly as your tears fall onto his face. “Baby…please…I am sorry. Please…I was just so angry.” “(Y/N), what the hell is going on? What was that? I’ve never seen you display that type of power before. Where did that come from?” “This is my power.” you reply with a heavy sigh and tears streaming down your face. “What?” “Kiri…please just get us to the hospital. I’ll explain everything later.” “Ok baby but…um…I am not going to lie…uh…I am pretty terrified of you right now.” “I’m pretty terrified of myself too. (you look down at Katsuki) Baby…can you hear me?” He opens his eyes slightly “Princess…you dumbass…what the heck was that?” “OH BABY! Shhhhh…don’t talk. We are taking you to the hospital. I am sooooo sorry.”

Once at the hospital, Bakugo is quickly taken in to see a healer. You and Kirishima are sitting across from each other in the waiting room. Normally he would be all over you in situations like this but after what he just witnessed, he’s been keeping his distance and you don’t blame him. Your phone rings “Hey. I am at the hospital. Can you come meet me here? Great. Thanks.” “Who was that?” “The Commissioner.” “What? Why is he calling you?” You don’t respond to Kirishima’s questions. The nurse walks in “He has been asking for you both. You can go in and see him now.” You walk in silence to his room. Kirishima walks in first. “Katsuki! Are you ok babe?” “Yeah…shity hair…I am fine. Where is (y/n)?” You step out from behind Kirishima. “Hey.” “Hey? Is that all you have to say to me?” He is angry but not as angry as you expect. “What the FUCK was that? Since when do you have that kind of power?” “I was angry at you. You had me benched.” “What? What do you mean I had you benched?” “Your agency. They called the HPSC and had me benched.” “Princess…you’re going to need to do some more explaining than that because I don’t have a fucking clue as to what you're talking about Dumbass and what the HECK are you wearing!” Just then, Naomasa Tsukauchi walks in. “(Y/H/N)?” “It’s ok, Tsukauchi. You can call me by my real name here.” Bakugo and Kirishima are both staring at you in confusion. “Um (y/n)…why is the Commissioner here and why did he just call you (Y/H/N)?” “Because that’s my Hero name.” Bakugo and Kirishima are both staring at you with a look of confusion “WHAT THE FUCK?!!!”

[watchingblsnowandforever]

The Trainee

Heyy =D

Okay, firstly, this post does not sing high praises, so please scroll past if that's not your thing. Don't come at me later, please, I'm too exhausted to write proper comebacks the tumblr way. Oh, and there will be spoilers-

I had high expectations from this show, ngl. I mean it's OffGun, so it's a natural reaction. Did I like Cooking Crush very much? Not really. Did I enjoy it? Yeah, sure. It was nice and the comedy was impeccable, I have to admit. But I was actually really looking forward to The Trainee. It was a new concept, OffGun were finally graduating (!!!).

All of those expectations aside, I would just like to point out that this is a BL and was advertised as such. So why, pray tell, did it feel like (I paraphrase @desi-yearning cause she got the sentiment down pat) a het show with a side of BL??

I mean look, I do mind het shows a bit (personal. opinion.), but I don't usually mind het sides in a BL. This was not that.

At this point, I think RyanJane had less screentime than TaeMhee. Which- again, why, why, why in the name of all that's good and gay would you make them get back together?! What were you on. The breakup seemed necessary and it felt like the show was building up to it. And the thing with Judy??? You could have had a GL side and you ignored that for a *gestures* whatever that was. Fine, no GL side. Still, you could have had Mhee explore her bisexuality more? She's literally wearing black even after she gets back with Tae?? Sigh.

Tae is... for a lack of a better word, very dependent on Mhee. A little too much. He really should learn to do things himself.

And don't even get me started on the proposal. Pie's "you're the girl. He should be the one proposing" had me losing almost all my respect for her. So much show and jazz. For a het proposal. A het that's supposed to be a side couple. What are you trying to do? Establish a new pairing?? With Sea? I mean yeah sure do that. But do that in a het series. Next time, please save me the trouble with proper advertising.

The characters were well-written, kind of, yes. But there was just so much potential that got wasted. It physically hurts to think of all the big time potential they wasted. Just... down the drain. This could have been the second best GMM BL of the year, now it's a mid series at best.

What are you doing with OffGun. You either stop baiting people with parings, or you start doing things properly. This is the most GMMTV ending I've seen in a while. And here I thought the year was going good sigh.

And what was up with those no-contact 5 years?? You could have at least had a Long Distance Relationship??? You just waltz back and expect him to take you back?

All this is giving me a headache. I need to still finish a paper that's making me go through the 5 stages of grief. It's just 500 words why- ugh nevermind.

Basically, this series was a big example of how you should build up and also a big example of what not to do in the middle and the ending.

GMMTV. You've given me We Are, from a Director I wasn't even expecting it from. You better do the other series I'm hoping for well. Please and thank you. <3

Finally, I just want to say for all that I... criticize this show, I do have good things to say about it. Would I hard rec it? Probably not. Should you watch it? Uh, sure, if you're bored, have time to waste and really like OffGun and don't mind a lot of het PDA. And I mean a lot.

That's all for this series. Hope y'all have a good day/night!

And if you got this far, thank you so much for reading. ☺️

Love,

[mayuris-basement-dweller]

Song Reccomendation:

First off, author's note.

Quite aware of official Kurotsuchi music tastes, had someone shove it in my face a while ago. This is just a headcanon, alright? Let's not fight over it. It is quite a self indulgent ficlet.

Also, it was induced by my late-night migraine. Any grammatical mistakes, chalk it up to my poor man's English and even poorer health. Ok? Ok.

We going by the premise Mayuri heard "Winter/Four Seasons" somehwere and so will you, my reader. There you go. Thank you for reading!

Play me like a Violin - Kurotsuchi Mayuri/Kenpachi Zaraki, Kenmayu, Zayuri

Cw: Violence

"What happens when Mayuri is disturbed by a whole lot of sound and fury."

He wasn't the biggest musical enthusiast, as the science man that he was. His life's soundtrack was the silence of his lab, the whirring of machines, frantic typing, the slicing of blades through flesh...

But, for some reason, he woke up with a certain song on the back of his mind that day.

And throughout the day, he could swear he felt it in his bones.

Maybe it wasn't the song at all.

Maybe it was just that day... He was still shaken.

"Ugh... Will this headache never stop?!"

Mayuri Kurotsuchi hated anything that interrupted his efficiency. Headaches being one of the worst offenders. And with all the work he had to do, too!

That would be one long day,indeed...

And his mind went right back to the song he was thinking about. By some human composer named Vivaldi. Antonio Vivaldi. And it was called "Four Seasons" but... Mostly "Winter".

Massaging his temples slightly, he was on his way to the 12th Division, and the song was still there. Why was he thinking about it so much?

Because it made his blood stir.

It made it boil. Not in a bad way like...

"Like that... Barbarian, does."

And it's happening again. Again his thoughts drift to Zaraki. This was unnerving, disturbing, something he didn't need at all. He had to fix that.

Somehow, he had to.

Or else, it would keep happening. It could keep happening.

Vivaldi's Winter. And those strings. Those strings cut like swords. Fast. Inclement. Like a terrible and fleeting memory.

Like his memories of the night before.

Down to the lab he went. His thoughts a mess and his heart pounding.

He just wanted his peace and silence back. But his thoughts had a lot of sound to them, his body was still singing tunes...

And he hated it. Every single bit of it.

He opens the door. Nemu greets him. Akon greets him. But he needed silence. Silence and distance from everyone.

He goes and locks himself in his personal lab.

"Ah, strings..."

He closes his eyes and breathes. No one could know. No one should know.

But then it all rushes back to him and he groans, mad at everything but especially at himself.

Why did he enjoy that so much?!

Why Zaraki throwing him around with so much violence, ripping his clothes off, pining him against a wall the past night... Made him feel alive like he didn't feel in ages?

Why was he shaking, thinking about that now?

Why. Why. Why!

He could feel his throat drying up.

Like the rhythm of that song, he could remember every moment vividly. It was just another fight that suddenly took a turn. That wasn't supposed to happen. That shouldn't have happened!

It went against every one of his logical thoughts. It didn't make any sense. That bastard had no right, he had no...

But the kisses and caresses and the hushed sounds...

Like Winter's strings. Fast. Desperate. Harsh.

And Zaraki's voice:

"Aha. Suddenly I am not such a nuisance anymore, huh, Kurotsuchi?"

Mayuri sits down and hits his desk in blind anger:

"Yes! Yes, you are a nuisance and I hate you and I want you gone!"

While he buried his face in his hands, he could still feel it all. Every fleeting moment, every touch, like if it was happening then and there... In his lab.

Crescendo and Decrescendo.

Too long and too fast. He couldn't focus his thoughts. All he could remember was Kenpachi. His voice, his taunts, his scent, his body...

"Don't even... Try to struggle. No one will hear you. Today, you lost."

Zaraki smirks somehwere in his memories:

"And you are all mine."

And then sounds. Sounds and more sounds.

And silence.

And hushed goodbyes. And promises of hatred everlasting. At least from Mayuri's part, because Zaraki...

"Yeah, yeah. See you next week. Bound to lose to me again, anyway. Just make sure you... ahem..."Get mad at me" somehwere more secret. You don't want people hearing you, right?"

The nerve!

His anger was such he could break someone in half, right then. Anyone that dared getting near him would die a gruesome death! Anyone that breaks the sanctity of his silence...

- Master Mayuri?

Urgh. Nemu.

He massages his temples again. Anger boiling.

- Come on in.

Nemu opens the door:

- Excuse me.

Mayuri looks at her. And he blurts it out, probably led by those strings that kept killing him with their blinding speeds:

- Ah, Nemu... How can something be beautiful and terrifying at the same time?

He dramatically raises his hands:

- How can something make one feel regret... But also seek more of it? What kind of punishment is this?

Nemu looks at him in silence. Mayuri smirks to himself:

- Yes, I lost. Indeed, I lost. Nemu?

- Sir?

- Bring me tea. And...

She looks at him. Green eyes a mystery, so cold and so deep.

Like Winter:

- Nothing. Just make sure no one interrupts me today.

- Yes.

Nemu leaves.

Mayuri sighs. And starts humming.

[calyxthenerd]

todo vuelve a comenzar, juntos sin mirar atrás

“Ugh, why do you have to wear a tie on your wedding day?” Ramiro grumbled

“Dude, you’re marrying the sweetest girl ever! Plus, it’d be kind of weird if you didn’t dress up nice” Pedro countered

“I knooooow, I love Luna with all my heart, what I don’t love is this thing that I don’t know how tie” he throws his tie to the ground, right then, Matteo came into the room

“Okay, no need to commit violence against formal garments, I’ll help you” he picks it up and starts tying it around his friend’s neck

Yam knocks on the door, poking her head in “Luna sent me to let you know that you don’t have to wear a tie and you can just do the dress shirt with the top two buttons undone like you wanted, okay, byeeee” and she shuts the door, leaving

“I fucking quit” Matteo says, undoing the tie and throwing it to the floor, before flopping down on a cushioned chair

—————————————————————

“Okay, Luli, what do you think about this?” Ámbar spins her chair around, so she was facing the mirror

“So pretty!! the colors are awesome, doing a pink/blue/yellow wedding outfit was the best idea ever!” She answers, bouncing on her makeup chair

“You’re welcome, but please stop bouncing, Jazmin needs to finish your hair so I can put your dress on you” Yam pleads

“I still don’t get why I need someone else to put the dress on me, I can totally do it myself!” the bride complains

“For fuck’s sake, Valente, let them pamper you, it’s your goddamn wedding day!” Emilia retorts from the corner, where she’s fiddling with the edge of her skirt

“What my beautiful girlfriend said, also, Em, you need to go if you want to get set up with Nico down there in time for you to play the song” Ámbar piped in

“Okay, I’m going, also, why am I playing with him?” She questioned, walking towards the door

“Because you guys are the only ones with substantial musical talent that aren’t on either wedding party” Nina replies, from where she’s ironing out the last details of the wedding, and the goth leaves, grumbling about being away from her girlfriend

The earpiece Nina’s wearing starts making noise, just static to everyone else, but she argues with whoever’s on the other side in hushed whispers

—————————————————————

“I’m telling you Nina, the dog we hired from Ramiro’s guy is not a tiny one, it’s a huge border collie!” Delfi whispers into her earpiece “okay, I’ll deal with it”

—————————————————————

All the guests were seated, Ramiro was standing at the altar, Matteo, Gastón, Simón and Pedro at his side, with Nina, Ámbar, Jim & Yam on the opposite side, and Juliana, who they helped get ordained for this, in the middle, and soon, Nico and Emilia get the cue they were waiting for, and start playing ‘No Te Pido Mucho’, on the guitar and drums, respectively, as Miguel comes through the door, briefly shielding his daughter, before she comes into view, and what a view she is, wearing a gown, fading from yellow on the neckline, to blue on the bodice and pink on the skirt, and peaking out from under it, are her rollerskates, that she was hellbent on wearing, to the protests of both of her parents and all her friends, but she and her groom loved the idea, so here she was, effortlessly gliding down the aisle, as her father stuggled to keep up

Soon, he was helping her up the steps, before officially handing the responsibility to reel his crazy daughter in, to his future son-in-law and takes his seat next to his wife, on the front row

“Family, friends, and loved ones” the recently-ordained officiant starts “We are here to celebrate the union between Ramiro and Luna Benson? I didn’t know you had other last name?” She questioned, making everyone chuckle, and those who knew the story exchange secret glances “Anyways, we are here to celebrate the union between Ramiro Ponce and Luna Benson-Valente, now, when I met these two, they were just a crazy seventeen year old and a slightly more sane eighteen year old, both caused me a lot of headaches and are the reason for half of my gray hairs” everyone laughs “but I was one of the first people, who are present here, to witness the extent of their bond, I was a, very reluctant, observer of the beginning of their relationship, and even if I always had an inkling that they were going to end up at opposite ends of the altar, when I received the invite to be the officiant, with the link to an online course to become one, I physically felt my blood pressure rise, knowing the reckless kids I met back in the day were getting married, but when I got here and I saw them, the way they looked at each other, the way they acted so in sync, I knew in my heart, this was right, and I am so proud to be a part of this, and to watch the people they became” she looked between the two of them “Estou tão orgulhosa de vocês” she wipes a stray tear, before continuing “now, onto the actual officiating, before I start crying” she sighs as a huge dog comes barelling down the isle, holding a little bag, with the rings inside, that she picks up “Ramiro Ponce, do you take Luna Benson-Valente to be your lawfully-wedded wife?” “I do” “you better” she hands him the ring, and he slips in his bride’s hand “now, Luna Benson-Valente, do you take Ramiro Ponce to be your lawfully wedded husband?” “I do” she does the same in the groom’s hand “Good, now, by the power invested in me by the online course you kids forced me to take, I declare you husband and wife, you can kiss each other now, I guess” and they do, exchanging a cheek kiss, that they rehearsed to make it look like they were kissing on the lips, before climbing down the steps and skating down the aisle, because some dumbass forgot to mention Ramiro had skates on too, and everyone cheered, slowly getting up and following the newly-weds into the mansion, where the reception was being held

—————————————————————

Luna changed into a dress that was a shorter version of the same one she was wearing before, and she and Ramiro made both wedding parties put on their skates, so they could dance all the choreographies they did as group, while Nina recorded, since she was only part of the last one, when she had to participate, she handed the camera off to her husband, afterwards, Ámbar dragged Matteo to do one of the choreos they did when they were still together, to give the bride and groom a break to eat something, because god knows they wouldn’t get the chance later, and after it, they all did group pictures, before they went to freshen up and come back, when they did, the couple of the hour, taking a while longer, came back to all of their friends singing ‘Música en ti’, they may have cried a bit, before climbing on the stage that was built in the living room and commencing a group hug

—————————————————————

Afterwards, there were a few noticeable occurances:

Matteo and Simón sneaking away together, only to come back half an hour later, with their suits askew and hair sticking everywhere, they blushed furiously and averted their gazes every time someone asked, but refused to talk about it

Jazmin and Emilia managed to sneak into every family picture, until their very angry girlfriends and Ramiro’s mom started berating them, they went to sulk by the chocolate fountain and eat grapes after that, after all, strawberries were banned from the menu, and Monica was scared to ask when her daughter demanded this rule be followed

The ring dog kept sneaking under people’s tables and trying to climb on their laps, until the handler finally caught them and dragged them away, apologizing profusely

The photographer was flirting with the head waiter, all the staff was talking about it, and Jazmin, having heard it, told everyone

Jazmin’s influencer friends were all there, so were Simón’s cousin, Leon, his wife and their friends, the former because Jazmin was doing hair and makeup and demanded this as her payment, and the later because Luna loved them a lot and wanted them there, the blonde ones got along really well, apparently that was really surprising, and they got super drunk together

The short guy that decided that a cap was an awesome fashion choice for a wedding, engaged Ramiro in rap battle

At some point, after everyone was out of their skates, the newly-weds, got into a piggy-back race with a gamer couple, who was apparently part of Jazmin’s influencer friend group, but weren’t influencers themselves, and two blonde guys who they weren’t sure were together, because the tall one didn’t speak spanish very well, and the short one just smirked, refusing to confirm or deny it

Monica and Jazmin and Delfi’s friend who cooks agreed to set up a mentorship and exchanged numbers so they could chat

By the end, when Luna and Ramiro had gone off to watch Howl’s Moving Castle in Luna’s room, all the other guests had left and the three friend groups were keeping the bartender busy, getting shitfaced and exchanging stories

“So, *hic* I found out he was my gaming nemesis and *hic* I hated him for a few days, until he *hic* charmed me again, and we’ve been together ever since” the short gamed slurred

“Oh! That reminds me of when I dated Diego, you guys remember?” The aforementioned guy groaned “Do we have to bring that up now? I apologized like, 700 times”

“I know, I just love bugging you about it, it’s all out of love for my brother-in-law” Violetta grinned

“Sis, please stop calling him that, just because I married him platonically doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it” Ludmila whined

“Speaking of sisters marrying grungy spanish guys” Helena piped in, turning to her sister, grinning mischeviously from her place resting on her fiancé’s chest

“No, Lena, don’t start this topic again, I told you, when it happens, you’ll be the first to know” Bia pleaded

And that’s how the rest of the evening went with the merged groups, before they all passed out, draped over various surfaces, some on the couches by the entrance, some on tables, some on chairs, and Matteo ended up with his head inside the chocolate fountain, overall, a very lively event, as usual, when the people present are involved

[taegularities]

Hello lovely Rid 💕💕

Now that I'm no longer cursing (but I'm still just as affected) I just wanted to ask how was your day? Did you manage to get anything done with the way someone was acting 🙄🙄🙄?

I personally had a very weird lecture and so my focus was literally shifting from updates on the live to the weird stuff my professor was saying. I still surprisingly didn't get a headache the way I usually do in this class lmao, but it was an interesting experience.

I'll need to properly watch the lives when they add subtitles but he did so much!!! I'm just always genuinely so grateful that a person like him exists and somehow the universe made him a part of my life in some way. He just brings me so much comfort and many other feelings I can't even begin to explain, but I'm sure you get it. I just get sappy when I think of him 🙄🙄🙄

Anywayssss sending you lots of love as always and I hope you have a really nice rest of your week 💞💞💞

ivi, it's been a day and i'm still fkn cursing 🤣 but yesterday wasn't bad! the first lecture was so boring, i can't remember a thing, but the evening class was pretty cool... and so was today ☺️

also wait, what does weird lecture mean lmaoo but i'm glad there was no headache in sight this time, despite the menacing demon and the strange professor hahaha

and no, i so get the sappiness 🥺 i mean, yeah he was hot in his lives, but i can't stop thinking of all the sweet lil moments and comforting lil smiles... those lives are the reason he upgraded from wrecker to my bias tbh :') ugh, this outrageous urge to wrap him in a blanket and hold him tight 😞

love you ivi, hope you had a wonderful, pleasant day 🥺💕

[smartylina]

The stare still scares him, he should admit that haha.

He never gives up, HUH? how incredible it is that a day has her exhausted when Kuzco had managed to do this much and a little bit more all these years, despite that there must have been days where he got lazy, but she was starting to understand why he chose to be that way.

Despite her being tired, she unconsciously offers Kuzco a smile as she sats on his 'Throney' and feels his pat. She then returns her gaze to the long line of peasants. As time passes and the line is getting shorter, Malina sleeps for several miliseconds when peasants talk to Kuzco instead of her only to wake up at the feeling of Kuzco's nudges, forcing her to offer solutions to peasants' issues. Malina also checks on him in secret, worried that his feet are killing him by now. All because she's too proud to admit this job is difficult for a former peasant like her.

Guess both will soon find out if the whole empire knows what the heck is happening. Malina doubts Kuzco might want to give any explanations about it, hehe.

However, she has a feeling she's doing a decent job at least, until now that is. She might need those praises coming from Kuzco. This is tiring and she's not used to it. As much as she hates to admit, she needs more preparation as she's only a former peasant girl who's still studying at college. Malina might finally confess she gives up once the audiences are ove-

WHAT?! HOURS?! Malina glances at Kuzco as if he's nuts and whines irritated as she's starting to have a headache. She gives up entirely. Half a day is an abuse too, is he serious? "ENOUGH!" She yells rather harshly everyone stops in their tracks. Even the peasant who was talking to her shuts his mouth and looks at Malina in a mix of confusion and fear as the rest of the subjects and palace staff alike. Silence fills the air and someone coughs out of the blue.

Malina clears her throat and resists the urge to laugh nervously. She gathers some force to stand up from her seat and declare.

"You must pardon me, dear subjects! But audiences are canceled for today!" Naturally, the villagers begin to complain loudly but Malina gestures to the guards stationed in front of the line of people to force the furious crowd out of the throne room and the palace. Malina lets out a sigh of relief when everyone leaves the room. That's when she sits again on the throne, takes Kuzco's crown off her head that grew too heavy for her to carry and looks at it shortly before she casts a sleepy look at Kuzco who is still beside her. She grins at him regardless.

"Here, Kuzco. I give up". She says and hands him his beloved headdress, waiting for him to take it. He must take it quick or she will threaten him with throwing it away.

"Is too much for an ordinary girl like me. The complaints drain a lot of energy, ugh". She admits as she braces herself for his gloat and dancing about her admitting he was right all along.

She could've managed to do much more in more days but... the audiences... ew (as Kuzco would put it). She would seriously think twice about becoming Empress, unless Kuzco has a plan so they both won't suffer.

Malina is ALMOST sorry too for leaving him in the hall with his toys. She could hear his remark faintly to the maid and how it sounded... suspicious to say the least. She seriously hopes none of the things the servants hear or see reaches to the council members, or else it would be uncomfortable for both. She supposes. She gives him the Malina stare as quick as his teasing reachers her ears, turning her whole body to him, her eyes heavy as she is about to doze off.

However, she softens once he says his comment. She manages to grin genuinely at him. "Ow, you care for your Empress' well being, sweetie? I'm fine, don't fret. I'm just tired but the royal audiences are about to begin. Come". She gestures to follow her as she heads towards the throne room, she didn't have time to check if Kuzco was behind her or not, she was walking at a quite fast pace, forgetting that Kuzco was just as tired as her. She was desperate to get to the throne as soon as possible. And yes, she trusts him to keep her awake if she ever passes out. ................................................................. Just as expected, Malina was already dozing off too many times, she rests her hand on her cheek as peasants come and go. She and Kuzco listen to them for what it seems like an hour? she's not sure. At one point she breathes in when a villager leaves and in the meantime another enters the palace, Malina turns her head at Kuzco. Getting out of character for a second as she gestures him to come closer she can whisper in his ear. "Hey, how much does this last, again?"

If it lasts more than 30 minutes she's leaving. She doesn't care,

[herrscherrofyatta]

Let you break my heart again

Tighnari x reader x Albedo

angst, no gender/pronouns are used to describe reader (if there is one I probably missed it!!), probably crack??in a way??, Tighnari finally realizes he's in love with you like the dumbass he is smh

summary: you seem to be enjoying your time in the presence of the chalk prince while Tighnari is feeling the exact opposite

part 1 part 2

Tighnari felt like literal shit.

He woke up today so moody as Collei seem to still be anger at him for being your reason you left in the first place.

The rest of the forest rangers had learned about your leave, some wishing good luck while other while confused about you resigning your position. Clearly, you had always showed how much you loved doing your job with a bright smile on your face.

Today was no different, they all felt the tension air around him as he assigned the patrols for the day.

Once making sure everyone had their routes, he went over to where you used to stay, "hey Y/n, I brought your���"

He stops before letting out a heavy sigh, his ears seem to show what he's feeling. 'Right...I forgot they're not here anymore.'

He thinks as he goes back leaving the hut you once owned. Spotting Collei in the distance with someone, they seem to be handing her a letter before leaving.

Shrugging this off, he huffs as he gets ready to leave, now having by himself since you were often his partner when patrolling.

"It's quiet." He mutters.

—

"Are you sure this going to okay?!" You scream at the blonde who watches, very amused may I add, as you hold a sword in your hand while staring at a pair of pissed off hilichurls.

Albedo hums, "yes, I'll be here incase this goes south."

You resist the urge to glare at him, "...okay." you answer a bit unsure, since you don't believe you're fit to be holding a weapon.

Technically speaking, people form your family aren't familiar with sword fighting since cleansing as the main thing.

So, dodging and taking down the hilichurls was a completely new thing to you.

Albedo smiles to himself as he sees that defeated them, as you turn to look at him with a bright smile.

"I did it!" You say excitedly.

Neither of you took notice of the milichurl coming towards you.

Albedo looks down at his notes, he has written things you needed to improve and such things. "Alright, I think that's enough information for today." He nods before putting away the piece of charcoal he was using to write.

"Let's head back—"

He froze as he finally looks up to see the milichurl holds it's blazing axe in the air just above your figure who had no idea.

Noticing how quiet he was, you look back to see what he was looking at. You stop as the weapon you're holding, falls into the snow below.

Shutting your eyes, waiting for the pain to come but it never does as you feel a pair of arms wrap around your figure and the last thing you feel is your head hitting something hard as you two rolled to the ground.

A day later, you sit up, groaning at the intense pounding coming from your head as Albedo rushes over.

"You're finally awake." He says in relief, handing you something for the headache.

Groaning, you cover your face, "what... happened?"

He begins to explain everything about yesterday, "you'll be fine, just a minor head injury from hitting your head on a rock. I wanted to start right away on your training but it seems like that can wait." You sit up straight at this.

"No," you say, making Albedo look at you, "I want to continue...I want to be useful." Looking a him straight in the eyes, he blinks before a smile creeps up on his face as he stands up.

"Alright, get some rest today and tomorrow we'll officially start your training, do I make myself clear?"

You nod your head, smiling at him, filled with energy.

—

"ugh."

Tighnari say up, holding his head as the room was spinning. He was leaning up against a tree deep in the forest.

Grabbing his pen and small notebook, he begins to scribbled down information about the mushroom he had eaten.

"also causes....rather stronger hallucinations." He mumbles.

After he was down, he just leans back on the tree, thinking back on the hallucination he had as he closes his eyes.

'Tighnari, what did I say about taking naps in the middle of nowhere?' His ears spring up at the sound of your voice as he looks up to see you standing there, hands on your hips as you glare at him.

Although he could tell you were forcing yourself to do so, you never were the type to get seriously angry at him....maybe that's why you didn't fight back when he called you useless instead you agreed with it.

He frowns.

'sorry,' he mumbles as he stands up and notices the strange look you're giving him.

'hm? What's wrong? You usually give me a sassy remark and brush me off.' He winces at this, was this how you thought about him?

'still sleepy,' you stare at him, not believing him but you shrug it off.

'Okay then,' the two of you head back in silence. He takes this opportunity to observe you, watching how your h/c locks bounce with step you make and how your eyes dart around, sparkling at the sight of small animals in the distance.

His eyes wander to your lips as you let out a quiet sigh that he could still hear. "Um... Tighnari, I wanted ask for advice about something." You mumble, cheeks tint with red as you avoid looking at him.

"If this is about your love life again, please spare me the details and get to the point." He snaps back as you jump at how rough his voice sounded.

".. nevermind." You say, a discouraged as slump forward a bit, frowning.

His ears perk up at the sight of your figure, he remembers this now, this was a conversation he had with you a couple weeks before your little argument.

"Wait," you look up at him, "on second thought, maybe I can hear you out but know I'm not good at giving love life advice."

You smile at him and he looks away, his face feels rather warm, weird.

As you begin to tell him everything, he can't help but notice your features, did you always smell like Padisarah flowers?

"hm? Is something wrong?" You ask, noticing how tensely he was staring at you and it made you feel about flustered.

"n-nothing," he curses at himself for stuttering in front of you.

You two continue as walking when you suddenly come to a complete stop just a few steps in front of him. He's confused, "Y/n?" His ear twitches slightly at your silence.

"That's what you wished you said back then, maybe those words would have made the pain go away a bit." You say with a ominous tone.

He grist his teeth, standing up and brushing away the dirt on his clothes.

—

Your face is bright red at the praise given to you by Jean who held a kind smile on her lips. Your eyes are wide as you could resist the big smile on your face.

"W-wait, you're not joking?!"

She shakes her head, placing her hand on top of her chest, "Of course not, Albedo has put in a good word about you and I think you'll be fit to join the ranks of the knights."

You couldn't contain the smile on your face as you look at Albedo who slightly smiles at you before he stumbles back when you hug him.

Jean shakes her head at the sight of you two Albedo awkwardly patting your back as you kept saying 'thank you' to him.

"When ever you make up your mind, come see me." She says before you two leave her office.

You keep ranting about how you won't disappoint them, "—then! My parents won't have to force me to see candidates—" you freeze at this and your face drops when remembered them.

"...my parents.." you mumble, "I didn't tell them I would come to Mondstadt."

Albedo raises a brow at this, "your parents? They shouldn't be force you to get married to some stranger." Ah, seems like he caught onto your rant.

You begin to explain everything, he learns that they have always decided on an arranged marriage for you but you enrolled at the Akademiya, succeeding in stopping their plans for a couple years and naturally, they stop bringing the topic up when you met Tighnari, Cyno and everyone else.

"They saw my fight with Tighnari as a sign for them to bring up the topic of marriage and when I left my position, it encouraged them even more." You sigh, your shoulders dragging as you two sat on a nearby bench.

Albedo is taking this information in, "your position....what was it?"

You look to the side, hesitating to answer..."a forest watcher just like Tighnari.... except I felt like a damsel of distress being there. I was the only one not able to wield a weapon so I was pretty much stuck with the paperwork."

"Why?"

You shrug your shoulders, "my parents didn't want me to having one and Tighnari had sure to respect their wishes but boy did that bite him in the ass." A fond smile is visible on your face as you talk about your moments with Tighnari and Albedo notices this.

"when we were just forest watchers in training, he was mastering the bow and one day when we went on patrol, we walked right into a withering zone and we didn't notice since we were messing around." You look up at the starry sky, "that was probably the first time I've seen him so worried over me....maybe that's why I fell for him."

Your face flushes, heart beating rapidly as you remember that day, clear as day. Him holding you in his arms as he yelled in worry for you not to close your eyes as you look at them through hazy eyes.

You sigh almost sadly afterwards, "and that's why it's a pain to be in love with him. As much as I like how he is....his words do hurt at times."

That aching pain returned, one you haven't felt since meeting the chalk prince.

"Was he the reason you agreed to the traveler's request?"

Your silence was his answer.

"I can only take so many heart breaks you know." You say with a light tone.

"Just how long were you in love with him?" He asks, giving a side glance as you hold your fingers, counting.

"Hm...I say since we were kids but it turned into more than puppy love during our Akademiya years."

Albedo lets out a hum, a hand under his chin as he thinks.

—

Collei looks at Tighnari who mumbles something under his breath, "what was that, Master?" She asks as he suddenly stands up, catching her off guard.

His face is bright red, "I think I'm in love with Y/n."

He figured out why he was so out of it these last couple days after you were gone, he missed your voice, your laughter, your silly remarks and those warm smiles you would always give him even when he never returned them. He missed you above all else.

Collei's eyes go wide as saucers as she stares at him with a open mouth, dropping the pen she was using to write something down.

"You figure that out now?! When Y/n is no where to be found?!" She yells, frustrated a bit.

1 month later

Taking off the hood, you take in the sight of Sumeru, the breeze making the coat you're wearing flow as Albedo appears besides you.

"this is it." You mutter, "I'm back home."

Albedo takes lead, "we'll reach the city in a few days but first, I need to see these withering zones you spoke so much about.

Taking a deep breathe, you took a look in the direction where Gandharva Ville is, the sunlight hitting your face as the wind blows a couple of hair strands across your face before turning away to follow Albedo.

"I need to make sure Albedo's training doesn't go to waste."

a/n: thank you for giving so much love to the first two parts, I never thought people would like a silly angst drabble I wrote at 1 in the morning so it means a lot!

Masterlist

[dinodinodin0]

The morning after

Pairing: Eddie Munson x bestfriend!reader

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of alcohol and weed, slight angst, part one part two this is part three part four part five

eddie breathed deep, attempting to mask his frustration. you were cross-faded, you didnt know what you were saying.

"nothings happening chrissy, its alright."

he grabbed the sides of your arms, and hushed.

"we will talk about this later. im driving you home, okay?"

you whined as he grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the trailer. he put you in the shotgun seat and started up his van. you pouted,

"dunno why youre takin me home. I'm completely fine, i just said what ev'ryones thinkin'."

he didnt reply, but you could see him biting the inside of his lip. when he got to your driveway, he made a note to watch you until you got to your door, then drove away.

"fuck him anyway," you mumbled, stumbling up to your bedroom. you kicked off your shoes, and huffed as you sat down at your vanity. You looked at yourself in the mirror.. suddenly ashamed. Your eyes were bloodshot, and your skin was paler than normal. You looked horrible, all of your drunken arrogance suddenly washing away.

your eyes roamed to the corner of your mirror, landing on a picture of you and eddie as babies, another picture of him and you at a playground right under it.

you chuckled, remembering each moment captured, then you saw a picture of you and eddie at junior prom. You told him you didnt have anyone to go with, and he opted to go with you. You knew he didnt view it as romantic, but it was incredibly sweet, like he always was. You also got him to wear a suit, which was a feat on its own. on the day of, him and your mom waited outside your room for you to reveal your dress. when eddie had layed his eyes on you, you swore you could see his breathing stop for a moment.

Oh god.

you just ruined your friendship, hadnt you?

you had drunkenly told him you loved him, and basically to go fuck off and get with your other best-friend, without you in the picture. He was probably back at his trailer again with chrissy, and had most likely already forgotten about you. he was becoming more and more distant with you ever since getting closer with chrissy, and this was probably his last straw.

you thought about every important memory with him, wondering how many more you could have made if you hadnt blown up at him. tears well up in your eyes, and you couldnt hold it together anymore. maybe it was because you were an emotional drunk, but you felt like everything was your crashing down on you. you had been so mad at both of them when in reality, it was your fault since the beginning. Maybe eddie knew you liked him, and he became increasingly uncomfortable with you. It was your fault you couldnt get over your stupid crush.

--

the next morning, you woke up to your mother calling you and a blaringly shrill alarm. you half heartedly swat at it, aiming at it until you eventually turned it off.

you groaned, head pulsing and aching. a few minutes passed, and when you hadnt responded to your mother she walked up to your room to go check on you.

"are you alright sweetie?" she said, a concerned look on her face.

"ugh… m'sorry mom i just.. My head is absolutely killing me." you say, rubbing your temples and wincing.

she sits on your bed and puts her hand on your knee, "m'sorry y/n. d'ya think you might just need a break? Youve been going through so much with Ed's and your friend chris. i can see why it might be too much for you."

you stutter, "y-yeah…. its just because im stressed. because of the situation. tension headache, y'kno?" you laugh nervously, "do you think i could stay home from school today?"

you pause, and put up some sickly puppy-dog eyes, pushing out a quivering lip.

"well… just for today," she smiles at you, patting your knee and standing up, "but dont think you can get into a habit of it young lady."

you smile, attemping to look as sick as possible to really sell your need to be bedridden. your eyes were half lidded, and you croaked out a measly, 'Thanks mom,' as she slowly shut the door behind you.

after taking a wicked hour power nap, your mom gently shooke you awake, bringing you some lunch.

"hey hon, brought you a sandwhich. y'feel up to sitting at the table with me?"

you nod, eyes following the food she brought you as she led you to the kitchen table. after you sat down, you practically inhaled it. Your mom chuckled, bringing her sandwich to the table as-well.

"so, i noticed eddie hadnt come to pick you up today, are you two alright? Y'know, i get you said he was being distant but i know he still cared. if you two faught i really hope you can make it up with eachother. Especially if its over some stupid girl."

you bit the inside of your cheek and held back. you could feel tears attempting to swell in your eyes and you didnt want to make it a big deal to your mom, especially since youd have to tell her what happened last night.

"hey, chris isnt stupid ma," you chuckle, muffling your wavering voice by taking a bite of your sandwich.

what if he didnt care about you anymore? He didnt pick you up today, and he always has, ever since he got his van-

just as you were about to spiral deeper into your thoughts, the phone rang.

"ill get it mom," you said, walking towards your wall phone and pressing it to your ear.

"yeah?"

"Y/N! youre alive!"

it was dustin. you grinned.

"we've all been so worried about you, Lucas was going to bike to your house to check up on you, Mike told him that was a stupid idea because he was still at school, and Eddie hasnt said anything, like. all day."

you stop, furrowing your brows.

"nothing? is he angry?"

"i dont think so. he just looks.. super deep in thought, but he said he was gonna skip the rest of his classes so he's probably already home right now. and its just weird for him to not talk, hes like the most talkative person i know. y'know?"

"yeah dustin.. i know. hey, tell ya what. I will try to be at school tomorrow alright? gotta make sure you guys dont get in to trouble. And tell Lucas that im not dead." you chuckle, relieved that eddie didnt seem mad at you.

dustin promised hed absolutely tell lucas that you died, and hung up. You sat back down at the table, giggling to yourself.

"whats got you all smiley suddenly?" you mom asked, smiling back at you.

"ah, just somethin dusty said ma'. Hey, do you think i might be able to take a walk?"

"oh course hun, to go where?," she inquired, getting up to go wash her plate.

"oh nothing. just.. takin' a walk.." you say, putting on a cardigan and slipping on your shoes. You made your way out of your house and down your porch steps, and began to walk towards eddies trailer.

As you made your way towards the trailer part, your smile faded and your stumach turned. Did he even want to talk to you? Would he even be home? Dustin mentioned he was skipping classes, but he honestly could have just been making some more deals.

You made it to his trailer, bringing your closed fist to the door. You inhaled, and knocked.

the door opened.

"Y/N?"

A/N: sorry if this ones kinda just filler ! cant have drama in every chapter skjfh, ntm i have my own thingies goin on in life rn so i cant rlly write too well rn sdjkfh, but i do hope you enjoy either way &lt;3

tag list:  @rebelcthulhu @ietss @soclover3000 @mddieeunson @charliiexx @bambi-munson @nightless @creativedogs @erodahellfire @thecraziestcrayon @yourfavoritefangirl @eddiemunson4ever @televisionboy @kellysimagines @comic-harley @chloebeansack @estellaisaloser @mcueveryday @thegirlthatsfalling @tillkummerr @error-home-not-found @myfavoritesareproblematic @love-conquers-everythingg @munsonhrts @tayburkulosis @joekeeryswife @xoxoloverb @twihard08 @kibumslatina @eddiesange1 @tlclick73 @beep-beep-sherlock @littlemiss-yeehaw @violet-19999 @wyattsgirlfriend @0lissa0 @eddiethesexyy