#ugh. i dont really mean all of this itll pass im just feeling fucking shite and bitter abt reverting to bad coping mechanisms again | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phagodyke · 10 months ago

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yet another evening of cooking showering then sitting at my desk and sniffling miserably for 2 hours bc I can't work up the motivation to click open any of the hundreds of videogames or movies or drawing wips or literally any kind of enjoyable activity on my laptop and then going to bed at 9:30 before i throw myself off the roof

#well at least i didnt do anything worse than just cry at my desk today.#cant wait to be up at 6:30 go to work and then repeat this again. every day until the weekend where ill have a full blown breakdown #rinse and repeat ad infinitum #at least i dropped this mental argument thats been eating away at me for days. its just not worth it i dont want to ruin anyone elses day #im just going to keep making myself smaller and smaller and take up less and less space and eventually i wont exist anymore #sad! well its for the best #ugh. i dont really mean all of this itll pass im just feeling fucking shite and bitter abt reverting to bad coping mechanisms again #and nobody caaaares or even believes me. woe is me etc etc etc #oh well. ive ordered a physical copy of the dbt book i used this time last year so maybe thatll help me drag myself out of this again #not that i even dragged myself out of it last year. but i survived at least so thats smth.#okay im gonna go brush my teeth and then sit in bed a bit. sighs. goodnight #.vent

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