#ugh woke up later than I would like lmfao

[radioactivedadbod]

where we are dropping today gamers

[ezriah8ter]

okay going into it with the perspective of it being a slasher let’s go besties…

(i’m time stamping when i have to make notes and comments in case anybody wants to reference them..)

1:13: wow the opening credits are kind of intense. but it’s fine i can get with it i think. yeah.

1:44: god this song is so good

3:49: that’s kind of awkward lmfao why’d they start counting down so early..

4:09: damn girl! that probably would NOT have been my reaction! just go home and eat some cake and cry in your bed bruh 😭😭

5:38: okay just saying i had no clue this bitch was pregnant before i started watching like did anybody else know?? i’m waiting for when this is actually going to be important…

7:23: nah cause that sucks i get it.

13:26: LMAO???? DAMN GIRL JUST SAID THAT!

17:11: oh god…the woke tv show strikes again…..AND the woke white guy…. let’s gooooooo

18:41: gamer gurl! 😜

24:38: wtf 😀

25:50: ew is he jacking off

25:52: OH MY GOD W H AT LMFAOOOOOO

26:24: i just hate the way tabby's lines are delivered like omfg she’s so annoying

27:44: wait. if they’re trying to get the house on the market why tf is all her shit still there. like i get she has a hard time coming back but i thought the house was gonna be like…empty..

29:36: yeah i don’t like this guy…..is he her age???

30:10: okay no he is not her age he is older. great. this again. what is a pll show without an older guy preying on a much younger girl???

30:27: *looks up ari aster's age* ok. yeah. ew. this is like a bigger age gap than the one between aria and ezra….

30:45: GOD NO PLEASE

32:07: girl. what. why would you CHOOSE to look at men's asses…

32:41: yes PLEASE i beg of you just fuck someone your own age

36:35: please not the fry dropping out of his mouth that is the least funniest fucking thing

37:39: i think the need to be prom queen is one of my least favorite tropes. like it’s so fucking annoying and stupid.

38:44: oh i totally bet this twin thing is gonna come up later if the writers of pll had anything to do with it…

41:19: hand over mouth rn i can’t believe karen just said that about greg losing every single football game LMFAO 😭😭

42:15: yeah fuck no i'd be leaving

also why tf does this school look so gross and musty and stuffy like what

46:44: LMAO???? THERE HE GOES I GUESS???

48:45 oh yuck…ALSO IMMEDIATELY ON FARRIN??? DAMN!

also wtf was the timing. like why did they put all their “crimes” right next to each other…like i feel like they totally could’ve given them detention throughout the episode but they choose to do it in the last 10 minutes??? why tf did they put them together in the last couple minutes ugh

51:43: LMAO WHEN KAREN WAS LIKE “ew that’s disgusting” AFTER MOUSE TELLING HER HER NAME DNSFK THATS SO FUNNY

52:20: “how has karen not been cancelled yet” PLEASE shut the fuck up oh my god

final thoughts:

alrighty. i guess i’ll continue watching. not a fan of the pacing though as i said…idk i’ve already aired most of my complaints in previous posts

if you want me to continue writing my thoughts like this every time i watch an episode let me know!nand as always if you agree or disagree with anything i said i’d love to discuss!

xoxo fellas <3

[platonicavengers]

headcanons for being the youngest maximoff (part two)

pairings: maximoff twins x sibling!gn!reader && avengers x gn!reader

warnings: spoilers for infinity war + endgame, death, non-descriptive violence, idk

author’s note: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO COME OUT AAAAAAAA it was supposed to be up a while ago but things got in the way and im so sorry :(

tags: @madamevirgo​  @euphoniumpets​

headcanons under the cut !

so

after steve broke everyone out of the raft you were all on the run for a while

vision and natasha joined you all at some point, and scott and clint returned home to their families

after a while wanda and vision decided to stay in scotland, leaving you with sam, nat, and steve

you were not a huge fan of the idea of leaving her behind

you had already lost your parents and pietro and even though she wasn’t dead you still wouldn’t be able to see her

but you knew why she did what she did

fast forward a little bit

you find out that tony went missing

and then that wanda and vision are being attacked

so u all fly to scotland to help them

*insert u being a badass and beating the shit out of an alien*

finally reuniting w your sister

there were tears

when you arrived back at the compound it was like a breath of fresh air after so long

it’s a shame you weren’t there under better circumstances

immediately getting upset when you saw the hologram of ross

that motherfucker

anyways

going to wakanda was an.... interesting experience

you wanted to enjoy it 

but considering why you were there,,,,,,

it was kinda hard to enjoy it lol

wanda ofc stayed up in the lab with vision and shuri

she wanted you to stay up there as well so she could keep an eye on you

she was very hesitant to let you go into the front lines of the battle

even though you were an adult now you were still her little sibling and she was worried for you

you assured her that you would be fine though

fine might be pushing it but

let’s be realistic here

you kicked some alien ass down there

taking out enemy after enemy with no hesitation

pretty impressive tbh. ur fucking awesome

ily

anyways

eventually wanda came down to join the battle

the two of you fought alongside each other

badass sibling duo ugh yes

but then

you had to go against thanos himself

ugly ass mf

you tried to use your magic to remove his gauntlet

you were unsuccessful

he kinda tossed you to the side like a rag doll

which hurt like a bitch

when he snapped you had no idea what tf to do

i mean you had just lost, what were you supposed to do?

you were in the middle of crawling over to wanda, wanting to try to comfort her over the loss of vision

but then she just kinda, disintegrated?

you were in shock for a minute

but then it hit you

“no, no, no, no, no...”

you started sobbing

now you had officially lost your whole family

after a little bit you made your way over to what was left of the team

you all kinda stood in silence for a little while, just processing everything that had happened

eventually you all returned to the quinjet and flew back home

for the first two-ish weeks after the snap you just locked yourself in your room and refused to leave

though eventually you did leave your room again, though very reluctantly

after three weeks had passed by carol, who you were quite fascinated by, returned to the compound carrying a spaceship with her

turns out tony was on said ship

you were glad to see him after so long

and now we jump to going to space to beat thanos’ ass (a g a i n)

you had never been to space before so it was quite a new experience

shame it was under such poor circumstances

when you arrived at thanos’ residence you were out for blood

he took your last remaining family and you were not in the mood to let him get away with it

and then you found out the stones were gone

and everything he had done couldn’t or so you thought be reversed

you were already ready to kill thanos before, but especially now that that was revealed

sadly though, thor took the responsibility of killing the titan himself

*5 years later*

you were 23 now

a whole ass adult

you still lived at the compound with natasha, not exactly having anywhere else to go

not like you would’ve left anyways but

nat had become your sort of support system over the last few years

after all, at this point you really only had each other

all of the rest of the remaining team went their separate ways, none of which deciding to stay with the two of you

one day though steve comes by

you were glad to see him, you had missed him a lot since he left

the three of you had a not-so-positive conversation and then out of nowhere scott appears at the front gate

he tells you his insane idea of using the quantum realm to time travel back to before thanos

you were very wary

you didn’t exactly have a lot of knowledge on the quantum realm but you could still tell that it seemed risky

the four of you went to tony’s house to try to convince him

he almost immediately said no

yikes

you all tried to convince him but to no avail

so you went to bruce hulk instead

bruce?? hulk?? who tf is he tbh

but anywho

when you saw him you were kinda like ????????

but chose to ignore it

you got him to agree to the time travel thing

and it was ?somewhat? successful

somewhat is pushing it tbh

scott became a baby which wasn’t great

but then tony showed up and fixed it like the genius he is

you helped recruit all the remaining avengers to help w the whole time travel thing

you were going to go back in time and get the stones before thanos could

you went with clint and natasha to vormir

you thought it made the most sense for you to sacrifice yourself

after all you weren’t even positive this whole thing with the stones would work, and you couldn’t risk continuing to live a life without wanda and the rest of the team

they stopped you before you could jump though

when natasha dropped you swore your heart stopped beating

she had been all you had for the past 5 years and then she was just gone

you ended up getting the soul stone but at what cost

you and clint returned to the compound and there was a small ‘memorial’ (for lack of a better word) for natasha

after that tony put all of the stones together into a makeshift gauntlet

after a little bit of deliberation it was decided that bruce would be the one to snap his fingers

bruce, hulk, whatever tf

brulk

LMFAO

sorry back to the headcanons LOL

he snapped

immediately everything felt different

you went out to look out a window, seeing a few butterflies fluttering around that you knew weren’t there before

a smile immediately took over ur face

“hey guys, i think it worked!” - you

you were about to turn around and walk back to everyone else

but then

you saw a large ship in the distance

and something began flying toward the compound

and then everything went dark

when you woke up again you were buried under a bunch of rubble

which bruce picked up off of you

you ran out to where thor, tony, and steve were

you saw thanos and froze

they were engaged in a battle and you tried to keep your distance in order to collect yourself for a moment

which proved to be futile because you were dragged into the fight not long after

you kinda got your ass handed to you

it wasn’t pretty

you were lying on the ground when all of a sudden you saw orange light surrounding you

you looked up to see portals opening, all your allies who you had thought to be dead stepping out

you saw wanda and you stopped breathing for a moment

you got up as quick as you could

which proved to be difficult due to ur injuries and overall extreme fatigue

you launched yourself at her, bringing her into the tightest hug you could muster

the two of you held onto each other for a moment before you had to return to fighting

maximoff sibling teamup part 2???? yeah most definitely 

fast forward to after thanos and his bitch ass army lost (im sorry i just really dont have the energy to write all that rn)

and to after tony’s funeral 

you and wanda had a l o t of catching up to do

like

5 years worth LOL

u had to comfort her over vision’s death a lot

considering that to her, that was still only a couple days ago

and a lot of the time when you two talked the mood was kinda depressing, all things considered

but you still tried to keep it lighthearted

for example

your absolute favorite thing in the world was the fact that you were now older than her due to the snap, 3 years older to be exact

you held it over her all the time, constantly making fun of her for it

all in good fun of course

something wanda really loved was when you would tell her stories from when she was in the soul world (only happy ones ofc)

though it made her sad that you had to go so long without her, and she missed out on so much

she wanted to know what she had missed

all in all

you two were incredibly close, the snap and its aftermath only further confirming that

sibling goals tbh

a/n #2: aaaaaa im sorry to end it on that note (i didnt know how to end it im sorry asf) but yeah </3 and once again, so sorry this took me so long to post, ive been super busy with school && life in general so i just havent gotten around to it :( butttttttttttt if u guys want i could try to continue this series of headcanons for wandavision?? i’d wait until friday ofc for the final episode and id spoiler tag it and everything but i could try my best? might be kinda difficult but i think it could be fun so if anyone wants that then lmk!! :)

[apenapaperandadoofus]

PLEASE SHARE IT. PLEASE, I NEED IT.

ASK AND YA SHALL RECIEVE

Keep in mind I was about 12-13-ish when I wrote it and I was in my angsty stage so this gets a bit dark pft

here are the first 2 chapters -there are like 9 in total I think- if ya want the fnaf one then tell me bc I actually have to translate it and everything bc I wrote it in Spanish lol 

.

.

.

TW mentions of abuse sorta and alcoholism

"Come back here you lil' shit!!!"

"I'll kill ya, I swear to God I'll kill ya!!!"

I could hear him behind me, stumbling and crashing into things, with that stupid glass bottle in his hand.

I have to keep going or he will really kill me. I kept running zig-zagging through the trees trying to lose him.

"You little fuck!!! How dare you run away from me after all I've done for you?! I was the one that gave you a roof under your head, the one that fed you and took care of you and THIS is how you repay me?!"

Yea right. I'd rather be in the streets than have to live with you in that damned house again. C'mon (Y/N) you're almost there!!

"I'll do the same thing I did with them to you!! You'll end up like all those kids, like all those dirty bastards!"

CRASH!

A flash of lightning crashed behind me.

Keep going, keep going.

Suddenly, as I keep climbing up I see something.

A cave.

Yes!! Now I can finally get rid of him! I quickly started climbing, finally getting into the cave. It was really chilly, but it would at least protect me from the rain, and since it was nighttime and he was drunk he'd have no chance of finding me.

Or that's what I thought.

"Ahh, there you are my dear (Y/N)~ You are quite slippery you know? You remind me so much of her, my little Frisk. But you both had to escape from me didn't ya. Do you know what happened to Frisk dear?"

He chuckled and came closer, while I was walking backward trying not to stumble.

"I killed her." He smiled. " It was an accident, I didn't want to, but she was being a naughty little girl~ [EW WTF WHY DID I WRITE IT LIKE THAT LMFAO GREAT WAY TO MAKE HIM CREEPY AF AMANDA]" he came closer, and the smell of booze reached my nose.

"G-get away from me you creep!"

He laughed and pushed me, making me stumble and fall down. I tried to crawl away but then he started kicking me.

IM ALSO NOT PUTTING THIS PART BC IT WAS CROSSING THE LINE A BIT AND I WANTED TO MAKE IT DARK ANYWAY THE THING IS THIS SHIT ESCALATED REALLY QUICKLY AND I GASPED BC HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS WITH ME

Basically, he said more creepy shit bc I wanted to make him a huge asshole, but I still don't feel comfortable putting it and I'm sure for other ppl its uncomfortable too so uh, lets just say the guy was just really really bad and wanted to do really bad things to uhh, the reader 

This, this guy had the nerve to- ugh!!

"S-stop it"

He quickly grabbed me by my hair and brought my face closer so we were locking eyes.

"Y'know no one cares about you! You're nothing! But if you stay with me you'll see I can be a good guy! I promise I  will treat you better! I will do anything for you. You just have to be a good girl and stay in your room."

"No!!"

I quickly spit on him and kicked him in the stomach. I was not going back there, not going to suffer through all that again. I got to my feet and ran deeper and deeper into the cave

"You can't escape (Y/N)~" I heard from behind me.

I ran faster. I'm not going to let him win. I'm not.

" You'll just end up like Frisk!"

Crash!!!

I yelped and tripped on a vine, falling into a hole, hearing his echoed taunts getting farther and farther away.

Is this it?

Is this how I die?

Will I really end up like Frisk?

No.

I won't die. I can't die. Not today.

Those were my last thoughts before I was surrounded by darkness.

Chapter 2 [this one is more fun  I lol]

"You little bitch!"

"Come back here!"

"You'll end up just like Frisk"

"I promise we'll get out of here....

Frisk"

I woke up with a start. My head dizzy from the fall.

Where...am I? Who's Frisk? Why can't I remember anything...? Hold on, did I loose my memory? What the-

"Heck!!" I heard someone say behind me. I quickly turned around, and saw a kid who looked to be around my age, floating a few feet away from me. Their hair was up to their shoulders and they were wearing shorts with a cute green stripped sweater.

"Seriously?! And just when I get used to being dead?! Do you hate me that much world!?" The kid yelled while waving their fist at the top of the cave.

Huh.....

Wait.....

Dead?

Am I dead?

If so where the heck am I?

Is this what the afterlife is like? Being stuck with a 10 year old ghost kid? Is it because of that one time I stole a ring pop from John? Because if it is he totally deserved it, he wasn't even gonna eat it!

"Am I really dead..?" I whispered.

Suddenly the ghost kid turned around and looked at me.

"Wat?" They asked.

"Am...am I dead?" I looked at my palms trying to figure out what was going on.

The kid sighed.

"No. You're not dead you dummy, you just fell down into the Underground, and somehow that awoke me...huh... that's weird."

Oh. So I'm not dead. That's nice I guess.

"Um, wait, the Underground?" I stood up, and stretched a bit, trying to check if everything was alright.

"Yea. With monsters and stuff. You just fell down from Mt.Ebott. You'd be the second human here to fall down."

Wait. The second one? I thought six more had disappeared in here a while ago.

"You mean the seventh human." I corrected them.

"Noooo, I mean the SECOND human, jeez are you deaf or something?"

They glared at me as if I was the dumbest person they had ever met.

"Nuh-uh. If there's one thing I remember is that 6 humans had fallen before me"

"Well then you remembered wrong because last time I checked I was the only one. That fall must've really damaged your brain" they chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. They really were stubborn and they were pretty rude too! If it were up to me I would've walked away by now but since I am down here somewhere I don't know with MONSTERS, I should really have an ally and they seem to be my only hope. Maybe they're nice once you get to know them, so I should really try to befriend them.

"So uh, ghost kid...what's your name?" I looked at them with a sweet smile, trying to be friendly.

"My name is Chara. And I was the first human to fall down here. What's yours?"

"My what"

"Your name, you idiot. Don't tell me you forgot that too." They smirked.

"Pshh I didn't forget my name!" I puffed my cheeks and looked the other way. I honestly had no idea what my name was but I wasn't going to let that ghost kid treat me like a dumbass again.

"Fine then, what is it?"

Shoot.

"U-um i-its uh..."

Let's seeeeee... what's a good name? Oh jeez what are some good names I could use right now?

As I was panicking suddenly something came to my mind.

"Frisk." I said.

I have no idea who Frisk is, but it felt just right. And it was the first thing that popped into my mind so.

"Oh. That's a peculiar name. But we'll then, Frisk. What are you going to do? Do you want to go back to the surface?" They eyed me with curiosity. I honestly had no idea what I would do. But I just had this urge to go back to the surface. But there was nothing up in there for me was there? I mean maybe I had a family or something's that's looking for me right now. Or maybe I could just be a homeless nobody.

"Do you promise me we'll get out of here?" "Yes. And we'll go and look at the stars in a field of golden flowers, like the ones in your book. It's a promise."

"I want to go back up."

That seemed to get Chara's attention.

"R-really? You want to go back up there? With those assholes?" They scoffed.

"Yep. I just feel as if I have something important to do over there. Like a promise."

"Ah...well, if you want I can show you the way! We can go meet these monsters, they took care of me while I was in here! They could help you!" They smiled and started going ahead of me.

"Uhm, sure, I guess! That'd be cool!" I said as I started walking behind them. If I manage to get those monsters' help, I'll be out of here and try to get my memory back and fulfill my promise.

CRINGY I KNOW BUT WERE GETTING TO THE PICKUP LINES AND THOSE ARE HILARIOUS IN A BAD WAY LMAO MAYBE I CAN LATER POST THE OTHER CHAPTERS PFT

Chapter 3 

"So uh..Chara..will these people have food?" I asked while walking behind them.

"Food?" "Yup" "You're stuck in a place full of monsters and all you can think of is food?"

Before I could answer though, my stomach let out a loud growl. I giggled.

"I guess that answers your question."

We became quiet again until Chara turned around and looked at me.

"So how old are you?" "I'm about to be twelve" "You're pretty mature for a twelve year old" they scoffed. "Well you're pretty immature to be whatever age you are." Chara laughed.

"I'm thirteen. So that basically means you have to do everything I say since I'm the older one" they stuck their tounge out.

"That's not fair!" I proclaimed. "The world isn't fair." The smirked. "Your face isn't fair"

"Damn, Frisk, you got me" they said with mockery.

"Shut up"

They laughed and then looked at me with a serious expression. "No but really, if you want to survive here you'll have to listen to me or else you'll die. And if you abuse the SAVE point it'll stop working. If you loose determination too."

"Woah. Wait what? A save point? Determination? I am really confused right now"

"Ugh, I'll explain later. Right now we have to get to the RUINS."

"Is that were you lived when you were stuck down here?"

"Tch, why do you care? And I wasn't stuck. I lived here because it's the only place were murder isn't the first option and monsters aren't assholes."

"Hey, stop being so rude, I just want to find out more about you! I really want us to have a good relationship if you're stuck with me for a while!"

"Just mind your own business."

"Ughh you're so-"

I suddenly stopped walking when I saw a single gold flower in the middle of the path.

"Why'd you sto- ohh that's creepy."

"It's just a flower. It won't do anything."

I kneeled down to look at the flower better, for some reason this flower looked different than all the other ones.. I was about to reach out for it when all of a sudden the flower turned around and smiled at me.

"Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower!"

What. The.

This flower could talk?! What?!

"Oooook Frisk this is definitely creepy, don't touch it and walk away."

I ignored Chara and smiled at the flower. They seemed friendly, so why not?

"Hey there! I'm, um, Frisk. I'm new around here."

Flowey noded and smiled at me.

"Oh! So since you're new you probably don't know how the Underground works! I guess lil' old me will have to teach you! Ready?"

"Frisk I'm not really getting good vibes from this guy." Chara said again, this time a little bit more serious.

"Shhh" I stood up and looked at Flowey, nodding.

"Thank you Flowey!! You're really nice! So how does this all wo-?" Suddenly I was being surrounded by darkness, with Flowey standing in front of me.

"Where is-" I suddenly stopped talking when I saw a red...heart? In front of me.

"See that red heart over there?" Flowey asked me.

I nodded.

"That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!"

"Woahh, that's so cool!"

"Your soul starts off weak, but it can get stronger if you gain a lot of LV."

Suddenly Chara appeared beside me and shook their head.

"Frisk I don't think he-"

"Frisk! You may be asking: Flowey, what does LV stand for? Well, for LOVE of course!!"

Oh. I guess in here is not that bad if their policy is like the place where the Carebears live.

"Fris-"

"You want some LOVE don't ya? Well don't worry! I'll share some with you."

After he said that a few white pettals appeared in front of Flowey. I guess that's how you get some LV right?

"Frisk, I'm serious right now, do not touch the bullets."

I looked at Chara.

"Thanks but what bu-"

"DOWN HERE" Flowey yelled to get my attention. I turned to look at him with a nervous smile, he just rolled his eyes and kept talking.

"LOVE, is shared through some....little...white... friendliness pellets!"

Ok. Now that was definitely suspicious. And where those the bullets Chara was talking about before? Jeez this guy really got me, but I mean. He's a flower why in the world would he kill me?

"Are you ready Frisk?! Catch as many as you can!" Then, the...white friendliness pellets, started moving towards me. How in the world was he doing that?! This place is so weird, filled with talking flowers and dead kids suddenly becoming alive again. I just want to go home!

"Frisk!! Watch out!!" Chara yelled beside me.

"What?"

I looked at Flowey and saw the pellets getting closer to me. Before I had the time to dodge they got me and I felt a huge amount of pain. I fell to the ground on my knees, gasping for air, trying to make it go away.

What was happening?! I quickly looked behind me when I noticed that the yellow bar that was once full, was suddenly empty. It said 1/20.

Chara rolled her eyes.

"You dummy! Those were bullets! And to even top it off you have literally one hp left!"

"One hp...? Wait Chara what is goin-"

"You idiot." I heard a creepy voice say behind me.

I slowly turned my head around, looking at Flowey, with my eyes widening.

"F-Flowey?"

"In this world, it's killed or be killed!"

"Wha-what?"

"Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this?"

"Chara!" I yelled trying to get up, but a couple of bullets appeared beside me and surrounded me, trapping me where I was.

"DIE. " I heard Flowey yell, while the bullets started closing in on me.

Maybe I could dodge them? Or find a way to escape? Where was Chara and why weren't they helping me?

I heard Floweys's laughter get louder and louder while the bullets got closer and I shut my eyes.

I guess this is the end now. I will really die. Did I seriously think I would survive in this Underground world? Really? They're monsters for God's sake! Of course I would die here. And I wouldn't be able to fill my promise. My eyes started tearing up. I could feel the bullets really close now, about to touch me when-

All of a sudden, a fireball hit Flowey in the face, making him disappear with the bullets. Chara appeared beside me.

"Phew! That was close! At least she got here in time! I told you he wasn't a good person Frisk! If you want to survive here you'll have to do exactly what I tell you to do, or else you'll die." They nagged me.

I tried standing up once again, trying to see who saved me.

"What a horrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth." Came a sweet voice from above me. I felt their hands go in my back and a weird warm feeling surrounded me.

When the warm feeling was gone, I didn't feel pain anymore. That was weird. I finally managed to stand up, and looked at the lady who saved me.

She's a.....goat? Lady? Monster?

She had a really pretty purple tunic, with a weird white symbol in the chest area.

She smiled at me and waved her hand.

"Ah do not be afraid my child. I am TORIEL, caretaker or the RUINS. I pass down here everyday to see if any humans have fallen down."

I looked at Chara, who looked to be about to cry. Maybe this was the monster they were talking about before? The ones that took care of them probably?

I shook my head and smiled at Toriel. She did look like she had good intentions, and yes, they did save me from that wretched flower. But I wasn't going to be dumb enough to fall into the same trap again, so this time I had to be cautious.

Toriel smiled back, and turned around, grabbing my hand.

"Come, my child, I will guide you through the catacombs!"

And with that, she grabbed my hand and walked with me, leading the way.

[szopenhauer]

Think of a movie and now give me that movie title: random Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 

Quote a line from that movie:

Name a song: random MARUV & Boosin — I Want You 

What’s a line from that song? Baby turn me, turn me on All night long What’s the last word spelled backwords of that line? GNOL XD Whats the relationship between you and the last person you texted? my fiancee What would your name be if you replaced T’s with S’s & A’s with E’s? Zuzenne Would you ever legally change you name to that? nah Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? ok How often do you think about death? all the time Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? friend’s - P.W.

Are you hungry?: thirsty

What did you buy last time you went to the store?: food? bread not food? trinkets - for example - two books and a tiny stuffed dog

Do you think stained glass windows are pretty?: I don’t know tbh

Are you a chocoholic?: not at all

Have you ever been carded when buying something? : not even when I was buying cigarettes

Do you have a favorite highlighter color?: yellow

Do you have a flashlight?: I do

Do you like watermelon?: nah

Has anyone ever walked in on you while you were on the toilet?: obvi, many times but usually just family members

Do you like a lot of ice in your drinks?: noooo

Have you ever painted a room?: bathroom Have you ever petted a donkey? from what I remember

Out of all 24 hours, which one is your favourite? hmm... Have you ever been in a lighthouse? nope

What time are you planning on going to bed tonight? no idea Have you ever been bit by an animal? yeah Did it rain today? kinda What was the name of the last dog you pet? it was my dog - Łasuch Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? sure Are you constantly judging people? could say so Have you ever had anything stolen from you? sorta Which would you rather, a snowy day, sunny day, rainy day or cloudy day?: cloudy or sunny maybe rainy but definitely not snowy How long have you ever spent away from home? month? Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? - About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? few Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? no What scent of candle do you burn the most? we don’t For what reason did you last cry? ugh... What kind of surveys do you wish there were more of? deep

Last time you were attacked by an animal? this summer? Are you paranoid all the time or just during the night? more often during the day actually  Have you ever dated someone without knowing their name? last name, not first, I was a stupid kid and was dating a guy online once and several boys at camp just to show off somebody likes me that way even tho I wasn’t really interested nor knew anything about those matters

If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, how much do you really eat? a tiny bit If you need to ask a question in class do you raise your hand? of course How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? once, currently Do you have to see something to really believe it? jak niewierny Tomasz - często Have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out? I’m surprised that I didn’t :x If your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them? absolutely Do you always assume the worst? that me indeed Are you sick and tired of life? sadly Have you ever been busted for under age drinking? I wasn’t drinking underage, I still don’t drink  Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? 1 and a tik tok Have you witnessed a fight at school? bunch

What is your favorite time of day to run? when I’m late for the bus lmfao

When was the last time you talked to your mom? recently Do your parents crush your dreams? sometimes Did you sleep in today? I didn’t Do you hate sleeping in? I love sleeping in  How late do you consider too late to sleep in? noon, 11am is already late  How long have you had a smartphone? less than 5 years Do you keep lists of names that you like? even tho I don’t want kids :P Have you ever butt-dialed someone? it happened

First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed, like *that*; M.

Do you like going to school sports games? eww, boring Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? guy from camp gave me his cap for a day Have you ever stolen your sibling’s clothes? I had to wear them when she was growing up, gross Have you ever loved someone and HATED it? later? Do you like Starbucks or would you rather just have water or something? just water lol Have you ever walked into a door before? po maturze zapomniałam, że woźny zamknął drzwi, które się same otwierały i walnęłam w nie, raz przytrzepałam sie w futrynę bo za szybko skręciłam w nocy do pokoju, mama uderzyła mnie drzwiami jak byłam mała i stałam za blisko wejścia dzwoniąc do domu więc spadłam ze schodów, a ojciec stuknął mnie tymi dworcowymi przy wiadukcie i wylałam na siebie sok - to chyba wszystkie przypadki Do you know anyone who’s like, psycho-religious? fanatic? my uncle is one of those Have you ever been stuck on a ski lift? luckily never been there to begin with Do you know who Nancy Sinatra is? ain’t this the gal who sings “those boots were made for walking” or smth like that? Have you ever bought anything from an airport? I wasn’t there so... If I asked you who you were gonna marry a year ago, you would say; omg Do you snore, talk, sleepwalk, or drool? drool at times, sorry also roll/kick around and fart ^^” When you woke up this morning, what was your first thought? I was wondering why Nat fronted If you could start completely over knowing what you do now, would you? possibly

If you drink coffee, do you have a favorite flavor & brand? If so, what? not applicable Have you ever personally known a pair of Conjoined twins? woah What is your first thought when you see people kissing in public? "get a room” Would you ever consider being a professional stunt-person? I have no abilities/skills/health etc for that kind of job and it’s really sad actors get prizes for stunt-ppl’s work

How about a Mailman? my father was and that ruined his body so I doubt it (Besides Hello kitty) Do you have a favorite Sanrio character? If so, Who? Hello Kitty is evil Do you flinch when strangers touch you? don’t touch me! Can you remember the first time you went to a movie theater? I believe Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? I have strange interests... Do you actually like the taste of Diet Soda? didn’t try and don’t plan to What brand of toliet paper do you normally use? I don’t give a shit ;) Do the Charmin bears make you feel uncomfortable? xD fact that they’re red makes me uneasy On average, how many cans of soda would you say you drink daily? zero Did/do you ever stick your chewed -up gum under tables? I spat it on grass when I was younger and had stuck it in my hair years before as well but every other gum I trashed properly Can you remember the last thing you watched on the news that upset you? that’s why I avoid news How do you feel about red lipstick, is it whorish? it’s my fav but I no longer use makeup What is your definition of feminism? fighting for equal rights between women and men like pay in workplaces Are you comfortable in shorts? am not So, have you watched that Bob’s Burgers show? Do you like it? fragments 

Do you ever get the feeling you dont belong? always Do you believe actions speak louder than words? good actors will use both ways to lie

If your friend tried to commit suicide infront of you how would you react? how, why, who, when etc. Ever had a rumour spread about you? plenty Have you ever tried to impress someone before? majority of my life and I hate myself for that If someone jumped on your back what would you do? die? If you had a child and they turned out just like you would you be happy? poor kid... If you could choose the gender of your child what gender would you choose? not that I want kids but girl

Name three people you want to meet in Heaven. from those who died or are alive rn?

What could be the theme song of your life? I was taking a quiz today and they gave me Kero Kero Bonito - I'd Rather Sleep

Do you have any embarrassing health issues? :( Who do you wish you could talk to? grandma and/or brother Do you lose or misplace things a lot? very rarely lose, misplace more often but still usually same item like my scissors What was the name of the street you grew up on (if you don’t live there now) I live here! Does it still feel like summer where you live? it’s too cold for that Do you have a Paypal account? I wish Have you ever had a brand or company reach out to you on Instagram? polyvore What is the last thing you purchased from Etsy? I have no bank account to be able to buy stuff there Do you sell on Etsy? I’d like to someday Do you have a favorite aunt, and if so, who is it? aunt Alice Who is your favorite cousin? no one Have you bought next year’s calendar yet? yup What year did/will you turn 30? 2022 What’s a food that you like, but it makes you feel sick? no comment Do you like the name Addison? sounds like a shoe Is there anything that you regret getting rid of? ... Have you ever stood up to a bully? couple of times Do you own striped tights? nude and transparent Have you ever made your own Halloween costume out of clothes from ur closet? yep When was the last time you received a hug? this day Do you have anyone who hugs you regularly? dad? Would you rather have the bottom bunk or top bunk? bottom Window seat or aisle seat? window, aisle if in church  Have you ever thrown up on an airplane? that’s one of the reasons I won’t fly Have you ever seen anyone else throw up on an airplane? that’s another... Have you ever gotten sick in the car? almost Do you still wear clothes from the children’s section? whoops you got me What color is your watch? I need to buy watch for Nat... What color was the last pair of flip-flops you wore? last time I was wearing flip flops was before middle school and they were pink I suppose Were you born in your favorite season? in the worst! Have you eaten oatmeal lately? regularly... Do you enjoy editing photos? if not a snapchat filter selfie then I prefer them “natural” What is your favorite app on your phone? Choices forever! lately I begun playing The arcana and it’s pretty good, Lisa downloaded Addams family mystery mansion or smth but it’s not that cool and I used to play the detective story which was awesome <3  Do you answer your phone every time it rings? hell no Do you like to decoupage things? scrapbooks/collages are way better How many tabs are open on your browser right now? 9 with this one but I forgot to close the background music 

How many times have you had sex within the past two years? Guesstimate? personal How many times in a month do you go to the movies? How much do you spend? not at all

When was the last time you heard thunder? Where were you at anyway? this month? home When was the last time you were in trouble with your parents? If so. it’s complicated Do you know anyone who claims to have the ability to see the future? I have dreams that come true and my parents do, also my gf When you go to the movies, do you actually watch the movies or not? ... what else would I do in the cinema? oh, you mean kiss and such? waste of money Do you love or loathe the Eurovision? I don’t mind it Have you ever wielded a sword? wanna try :D If you were famous would you want a statue or a building names after you? what for Can you erect a tent? hope I didn’t forgot How tall is the tallest person you know? didn’t ask Have you ever ridden a camel? might try What’s your opinion on rats? cute

[bxebxee]

I’m mad at yoongi for you like wtf man I know it’s a dream but like some respect

Okay so Buckle Up because I wanna rant about this stupid fcking dream even thoughit’s been more than 17 hours since i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

UGH!

So dream starts out like this: 

-For some reason, i won some random thing that allowed me and my plus one to go to A/MAs. I went with my friend MVP and we looked hot, 

-Lemme just rant for a second about how hot my friend looked. (note: this is NOT the upsetting part! in fact, her outfit and entire Look was the only thing that didn’t make me want to slam a heavy door shut on my finger after i woke up.) 

-MVP was wearing this glittery, long silver dress with a mildly plunging neckline and an entirely exposed back. She’s platinum blonde and had RED FUCKING LIPS. The whole thing was a damn look. I don’t really know what I looked like except i had a really fcking short goldish-looking glitter dress with some diamondy thigh/garterbelt string thingy. And the ONLY reason I remotely remember the thigh string made of (probably) fake diamonds was because I kept playing with it out of nervous habit in the Dream. 

-i was teasing MVP about how she was hoeing it up for hoseok but it was good fun.

-i don’t r member some parts of it but basically we went and were shown our seats. and like RIGHT NEXT to us were the seats for bts. the chairs even had their name papers on it. LMFAO.

-And of course we were really excited, but then MVP goes “i have to go to the bathroom” which kind of annoyed me FOR SOME REASON. So she goes to the bathroom and a little while later BTS comes in. The whole venue practically ERUPTS in chants. They wave like pros and go to their seats. 

-MVP is not back at this point, and I have to meet them by myself so I was nervous but also happy but NERVOUS!!!! 

-And then! HA! Yoongi takes one look at me and tells Jimin to switch seats with him because he didn’t want to sit next to me. (“지민아 나랑 자리 바꾸자”)

-and i got so hurt because after he said that, Yoongi didn’t look at me ONCE. Anyway, Jimin was really nice and polite to me and kept apologizing for some reason. (It’s not like it’s his fault)

-i felt like i was gonna cry. Like my heart felt all twingey and painful, and I made it so obvious that I wanted Yoongi to look at me and acknowledge me. But Jimin told me that I couldn’t cry right now bc my makeup would smudge and that i could cry all i wanted to back at my room. (“지금 울면 안되요. 화장 번지니까 참고 이따 방에서 실�� 우세요”)

-I held back my tears until MVP came back. And when she came back she was all “why are u crying” but I didn’t want to make a scene. i just shook my head and took MVP by the hand to sit next to me, and she and jimin shared this LOOK. meanwhile, apparently I havent given up because i kept stealing glances at Yoongi as he ignored me.

-as i was wallowing and feeling miserable, MVP and jimin were chatting and eventually i felt better and joined in. and suddenly namjoon enters the conversation and ased MVP “oh do you know so-and-so” AND APPARETNLY MVP and namjoon had a mutual friend who was super smart or something LMFAO!!

-and MVP asked namjoon which after party he’s going to but he said they can’t because of jungkook. namjoon said after parties should be done together (“아 에프터는 정국이랑 같이 해야죠.”)

-and then jimin was like y’all should party with us (“그럼 우리끼리 해요”)

-BUT THEN MVP AND NAMJOON SHARED A LOOK THIS TIME. AND SHE WAS LIKE “uhh… that’s a lil :/” as namjoon and MVP kept side-eyeing yoongi and me. 

-and then we were all quiet and awkward as we waited for the awards to start, and I woke up.

I wanna d*e. 

[liliumwallichianum]

finna ask myself these cause nobody else will

ASK ME THINGS

*SO I started writing these a long time ago and never finished them so I’m gonna just add all my answers (06/04/2017) in bold enjoy neethz

***EDIT AGAIN this is so wild... 3 years later.... I was so depressed, hated my relationship clearly, and hated myself? Writing on 4/10/2020 and starting at #49 first pass so I can actually finish and publish lol.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

typical @richiericherson; good morning lol 

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

4months datin; wow! 6 months dating :) 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

is this a joke? we’re both into them it’s coo; same answer as previous :) 

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yee; same

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober; same

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

oh yeah HAHAHA; have i though? 

7. What does your last received text say?

“yes”; have fun studying

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

a million and one; and a million more

9. Where was your last kiss at?

in ma bifs bed; my bed this time surprise surprise

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

today morning her bitchass lives w me ; 40 min ago... still live w her bitchass

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water, a smoothie; coffee. ugh the deprogression 

12. Where did you sleep last night?

my bifs; my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

hardest; shouldnt be but they are

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

yeah probably work a little harder at the end of last semester; idk a lot i feel but i cant look back specifically and pick things out. i would change almost everything if i could

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

no that would be perfect; yeah we’d just hella yell at each other

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

both but sunny; both but rainy :/ 

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

my sister; same

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

pajama shorts; joggers

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

probably; yeah 

20. Does anyone like you?

yee i hope so ; yeah

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

ummm lemme check.. yup 2 people!; still 2 hahah

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

no hahaha; sometimes lol

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

not really there’s all love here; that dunt from hs lol

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yeah just let sarah give me one; can’t believe it’s been 2 months

25. In the past week have you cried?

yeah im weirdly pmsing or im depressed cant tell which; LMFAOOOOOOOO IM SO PREDICTABLE. literally sitting here crying... still dont know if it’s pms or depression 

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

golden :) great dane

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

out out out; out

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no i wish; still wish but tbh i probably have

29. Do you think you’re old?

not at all; TOO OLD BUT TOO YOUNG IDK

30. Do you like text messaging?

not at all; grown to like or tolerate ig

31. What type of day are you having?

stressful cause orgo quiz soon and i know nothing; a normal day. 

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

already have it pierced!; sameee

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold i think; cold ? ugh idk 

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yes my bf; my dad.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

idk about this one tbh.... probably relationship; relationship 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

both; i try honestly i try

37. What song are you listening to?

none; redemption

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

mostly no... lol i say sorry to ease the situation; nah 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

not even close lol 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i was lonely.. peer pressure...  41. When did you last receive a text message?

like just now 42. What is wrong with you right now?

idk i want it to stop though. i want overall sadness to stop . 

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

p well she’s one of my bffs at wayne 44. Does anyone disgust you?

yea fam almost everyone lol 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no considering i have a bf 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

i wish  47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

simran  48. What color shirt are you wearing?

black. did u even think differently ?  49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

Probably something bout swap 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Tryin to give up on swap, giving up on Frank

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

Yes.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Swap? Def DONT want him back but can’t let him go 53. Do you like rain?

Yes 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

No unless they’re crazy on it aka swap 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Probably 56. Do you like to cuddle?

So much..... with Y only 57. Are you shy?

Nah 58. Do you get along with girls?

Yes! I think 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

No... well kinda? I guess I’ve dated Alex 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Chapstick, my animal print scrunchie 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Yeah 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Yes 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

Unfortunately 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Yas 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Yeah, all the boys I’m talking to supporting me lol

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

23/22, 28, 24?

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

Pay 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

Leopard 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

Hell no 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

Weezy f baby 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

Android ugh miss mine 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Wowwwwwww probably the last year 73. Do you like diet soda?    Nah 74. What color are the walls in your room?    Blue w stars 75. Are you 16 or older?    Yes 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    I used to 77. Do you have a job?    Yes being a Med Student   78. What are your initials?    NUS 79. Did you ever have braces?    Nope 80. Are you from the south?    Yup south INDIA

81. What does your last status on facebook say?   Supporting Michelle and sharing her article   82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    No lmfao Meiyan 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?     Probs mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    No 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    Ugh idek something w swap? 86. Do you smoke?    Yes 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    Flip 88. Is your phone touch screen?    Yes 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?   Wavey  90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    Hell yeah 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    Lake 92. Have you ever made out in a car?    Yes 93. …Had sex in a car?    Yesssss best sex ever ugh 94. Are you single or in a relationship?    Single 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    Sleeping 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    July 4? 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    No 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    Yes 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    Yes 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    Yes 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    Yes 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    Bro no 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    Yes kinda 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Yeah if I was going to faster horses lmaoo    

[survivor-themyscira-blog]

TRIBES SWAPPED AT THIS POINT. 

charlotte make this fucking post already before i combust

YES THIS IS SO PERFECT!!! I WAS SO FUCKED ON THIS TRIBE! NOW I GET A SECOND CHANCE TO NOT BE A FLOP LETS GO LADIES! GOD BLESS

LMFAO LMFAO ME JORDAN AND LILY ARE SAME TRIBE ITS OVER ALREADY WE GOT THIS

I AM WITH LOGAN NUT NUT NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I'm away from Madeline and Joradn and Toph and :( I'm worried! But I chose Kai so that's fun hopefully he'll stick with me fjndsfjsdak I'm gonna try to bond with Madison oh my this is a mess

A 3-3 split on this tribe, I need to find an idol just in case, I'm not willing to go to rocks for Toph and I'm sure he is not for me. Lets see how this goes, Madeline exposing me as her friend already. Lets just win my Hippos, I don't want to go to tribal.

Jaiden.... on my tribe again.... I like him but.... BUT... BUT he talks too much he's going to ruin my game GRRR. Hi Jaiden I love you but you WORRY ME

Ugh I'm like REALLY emo I was separated from Jordan and Madeline what the FUCK we got the best scores WE DIDN'T EARN THISjdjasfklas i miss them rip. and now like everyone on my tribe is.... asleep. They're like ALL europeans. GET UP U FUCKS I NEED TO TALK TO U Also I'm going to make an alliance with one representative from each country and call it the United Nations... I'm just working on it okay it's going to happen

WAIT FUCK IM AWAY FROM RHONE TOO WTF... I didn't think this through last night but honestly my second choice was Logan for the thing (first choice because I wanted him over Kai but I was scared of Madeline and Jordan) so like this wouldn't be very different but ugh. Toph, Rhone, Jordan, Madeline, and Ruthie (I forgot to talk about Ruthie I love her) are gone and I'm EMO AS HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NICHOLAS IS PLAYING THIS GAME? I knew this but forgot, I remember he as INACTIVE and got a strike during the selfie round, eventually I hope I can get on his tribe I know he would tell me if he heard my name.

Um another thing. I'm so happy to be on a yellow tribe. I love yellow it's the color of positivity and sunshine and that's me

WOW THIS FUCKING TRIBE SWAP! WHAT THE HELLFUCK! THIS IS SO GOOD! Okay, so. Accordan to Jordan, Rhone wants to work alongside me JP and Nicholas, which I would be fine with. We're also excited for/planning to work with Jack as the trio of Jordan and his students, so... This is probably the most secure I've been all game. I was good on the Hippo tribe, but now I know for sure that I'm alright. But there's one other thing that excites me here, and that's our challenge potential. Sure, that's a general good thing, but it's super cool in my case for one specific reason. I've never been to a premerge Athena tribal. Watch my streak continue.

Time to work my charm on this tribe HOPEFULLY I can find someone trustworthy to work closely with! I've played a game with Ian before and I mean, I thought he didn't like me after but we've talked since then a little and I'm excited that we have another chance to play and maybe start over, he may be the number one to tell all my tea to that I'm looking for!

On 10/16/17, at 10:46 PM, Emily wrote: > hi!! On 10/16/17, at 10:48 PM, Madison 🐷🐷🐷 wrote: > hi! On 10/16/17, at 10:48 PM, Emily wrote: > how are u!! It's currently 11:38pm. Good talk, Madison ;)

Hello my mates! 18 Castaways are left. So, the Swap happened and I am okay with my tribe so far. I get along well with Emily, but I'm a bit concerned that she picked Kai to stay on her team. I'm cautious around him. I'm back with Amanda and I don't really trust her anymore lol, but for now it's best to stick together, especially after what she's been through in the vote. But for now, I still want to talk a bit with Madison and Logan. I feel like I'm not the first target at the moment with a clear group of 2 in play and the old target on Amanda's back. I don't have that much to talk about yet, but I'm keen to get a bit more social now - last week was very heavy on the irl side. But I'm happy to be on a tribe that's so european. :D Cya soon~

Ahh this tribe is pretty lit. I feel really safe within it. I have logan, Emily, Andreas and Amanda ahh this amazing Time to win a game

https://youtu.be/TKydLkGHuNc

I miss having people be awake and I’m awake and having an active tribe wtf happened I hate

I really need these Europeans to wake the fuck up why was I put on a tribe with ALL OF THE EUROPEANS WHAT IS THIS FDMJKLSAJLK I just want their input on the song ideas and they're absent because they're sleeping and I get that but also FUCK THAT WTF I just want to get started with this challenge I'm excited and energized and avoiding doing my homework

I just love Logan

So I'm definitely happy with this new tribe. Lily, Jordan and Nicholas are all people I wanted to work with on Hippolyta so for them to all be here means that we can lose a challenge and probably be okay! I'm completely indifferent towards Jack and Raymond honestly. I'm so bad at connecting w people sometimes especially men, idk why. I'm just slow to warm up to people I guess. I HATE music video challenges because I'm really busy IRL and don't have time for this shit quite frankly. Idek what I'm gonna contribute to this challenge yet so I guess I'll just have to see what I'm able to do tonight.

OKAY NEW TRIBE WOOOOO! Rankdown! Emily - THE SWEETEST SWEET BEAN. Obviously I want to work with her going forward. She'll be my new like f6. She'll beat me past that, comp queen. Kai - My literal son? I love him. He's a good one, and I wanna see if I can make this hoe my goat. I'm not going to be a goat this game, but I'll see if I can be a goat farmer :~) Madison - My inactive queen. I can EASILY make her my goat. I know she _can_ get far in games, and I'd like to take her there again. Hopefully I can make her loyal and keep her out of the crosshairs by feeding her limited information. If she thinks I'm gonna just tell her shit, I can hold onto that relationship for a long ass time. Andreas and Amanda - Both of them talk to me about the same, and these are my first targets to go. While they're both sweet, I don't think they'll end up being much help to the tribe, aside from Andreas winning reward for us. Amanda didn't even guess, not that I'm shocked. I told people this would happen. They didn't believe me. I'm never fucking wrong.

ok so im hella bored at school 1. i am super stoked about the new tribes still! this is GREAT! i have been put into that hippo alliance which makes me think that i am in a p good position bc they see me as a semi-inactive goat type but they also need my vote to keep majority for now so im gonna keep on doing me ~ 2. the reward disadvantage thingy is probably good. it lets us most likely go to tribal and vote someone out which usually isn't a good thing but now i can use my vote as currency to prove loyalty! 3. this challenge? is perfect for my game right now because it lets me participate for once and prove i am an asset to the tribe for now! people are usually reluctant to submit for lip syncs but idc what people think about me so u know my dramatic ass will submit! ok thats it for now yeehaw

I’m on mobile so I can’t quote rn but Logan: Can we just make a pact now Logan: we’re not letting Jordan pines get anywhere near the end of this fucking game Listen, I know he’s right, but... UGH I NEED TO LISTEN TO LOGAN WHO I KNOW WILL BE A BETTER ALLY TO ME jwnjwwnjwnwjwn maybe Jordan will go out pre merge so I don’t have to show anyone my cards regarding him lmao but who can never be sure????

Was awesome to not be given the disadvantage, I'm not sure what all went in their decision as to who to give it to but glad it wasn't us. This challenge is the most dreaded aspect of these games for me. I'd rather have winterbells two rounds in a row than a music video

I feel like this is a school group project that I do my portion for but then I don’t get the portions from any one else until an hour before class. I’m gonna cry tbh Europeans please it’s like 3-4 your time WHERE IS UR SHIT and like literally this song is only three minutes long the least you can do is record yourself lip syncing to the song and upload it to YouTube and send me the link I’m SCREAMING

Okay Amanda is at the emergency room that’s um a very valid excuse but WHERE THE FUCCCCC ARE KAI AND MADISON?? Andreas and Logan told me they were filming later today but @Madison @Kai HENLO U STINKY TRIBE MEMBERS WHERE R U

Omg SO I just got out of my American History class and we have been talking about WWII so my teacher is talking about double agents and this guy called Garbo and I’m literally sitting in class thinking ... this is a genius strategy to use in Survivor I’m crying!!! So like basically I’m going to be Garbo, posing as a German and feeding the Germans accurate information up until D-Day where I fuck everything up for the Germans and get right with the British. D-Day meaning ... the day we take out Germany's closest ally. Germany meaning literally any person I want to screw over and British being ... probably Logan and whomever Logan and I want to work with. See like this would work out better if things were actually happening in the game wkwjwjnsja ... I don’t think much is happening on my tribe (at least I hope not) like I haven’t been put into any alliances so that’s :-/ there’s probably an alliance I don’t know about and they’re plotting against me and I won’t even be able to use my cute Garbo strategy. Also like this is an old and flawed strategy I’m sure but IM JUST TRYING TO BE GARBO OKAY he’s an icon and tbh a very big reason why the Axis Powers lost WWII so we all need to appreciate Garbo. Also if this dude’s name isn’t Garbo then my history teacher told me wrong and I’m just looking really silly but my history teacher is a woke bitch so I trust him. Thank you Garbo for doing the good shit and also inspiring me for this game lol

Anyone want to learn more about Agent Garbo? Um here are articles: http://www.npr.org/2012/07/07/156189716/agent-garbo-the-spy-who-lied-about-d-day https://www.mi5.gov.uk/agent-garbo HISTORY IS IMPORTANT!!!

On 10/19/17, at 3:30 PM, Emily wrote: > hey!! are u able to record videos for the music video challenge? if u can’t it’s no big deal I was just wondering On 10/19/17, at 3:30 PM, Kai . wrote: > Unfortunately not... i did mention it in the tribe chat already xD > Sowwy hun On 10/19/17, at 3:31 PM, Emily wrote: > it’s all good!! OH BITCH I DID NOT NEED THAT FUCKIN ATTITUDE this is me hinting to Kai that he should ... send in a video lmao. I get that like he doesn't have much time but three minutes P L E A S E it's going to be so weird if our video has three people in it! I'm getting Madison to send in a lip sync too (possibly) so that makes me not frustrated with her but like ....... Kai with this attitude "I did mention it in the tribe chat already xD" SHUT THE FUCK UP use REAL FUCKING EMOJIS and then he calls me "HUN" BITCHD FJKDSJFKAS I love over reaction but anyways our video is going to be weird because like Logan, Andreas, and I are the only ones who have submitted stuff!!!!!! UGLY!!!!!

I actually had a lot of fun filming for the challenge! Wish I could've gotten that bass line down a little better...smh I'm really surprised about Jordan. He's like a Sour Patch Kid -- first they're sour, then they're sweet. I just hosted him in Island of Shade and it's funny how I went from literally having his bitch ass blocked after House of Shade 9 to now where we're allies and kind of...friends? He's really matured in the couple of years we've known each other and it's actually really sweet to see. I do feel like he's a great ally for me because he's stronger than me in competitions and I crush him in any endgame scenario presuming I don't totally bungle my social game at the merge (and there's a non-zero chance of that happening tbqh). He's a genuinely good person even if he is kind of irritating at times. I'm like six years older than him so of course I'm gonna find him irritating lmao. Can't really say much about anyone else on this new tribe. Just not getting a great vibe from Raymond, Jack hasn't really tried to talk to me, and I trust Lily and Nicholas but they're both pretty inactive. I feel like Jordan and I are kind of the heart of this tribe right now, which hopefully means if we do lose this challenge we'll be safe. I just really hope someone I wanted to work with in this game doesn't get swapfucked tomorrow! :(

Here is the first draft that I’m submitting a confession to prove that ... only half of our tribe has submitted and we have five hours unrbabsjwbwjwb https://youtu.be/idbuRp73rig I’m literally,,,, CRYING what the HECK where is EVERYONE PLEASE HELP ME why can’t kai submit like wtf. Logan also told me not to expect much out of Madison so WOOHOO!!! I LOVE LOSING IMMUNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HONESTLY the main thing I've learned from all this is not to listen to what anyone has told me about other people.

Logan

YASSSS MY FIRST IMMUNITY WIN! I DON'T HAVE TO PLAN A TRIBAL COUNCIL! OR NOTHING! I'M SO HAPPY! Prayers for my boy Raymond but yAS!

This is amazing. I was worried that if we lost and i didnt actuallt participate thered be a higher chance of me being voted out but i still feel super safe and in a good position with everyone!

Yay I’m glad we won! I am excited to watch all these!

The Men Lips came out with that WIN HONEY! I’m so happy! How did we do that I’m really shook. I have such low confidence in myself I really did not expect out tribe to win wowie snabajbanan now I get a day off! How fun! I’m sick rn so like that’s good all I want to do is watch Buzzfeed Unsolved and wait for this announcement that Charlotte/LA/JD were talking about earlier.... hmm. If we’re tribe swapping AGAIN I’ll cry sksbsjsnsjs but honestly? Not so bad. I don’t really like my tribe too much but of course I love Logan lol. And Andreas is cool. Anyway YAY WE WON

“i liked the knives and the cat. i also liked the girl waving around the knives. that was the highlight for me.” I WAS THE HIGHLIGHT FOR HER SJJSNSNSNS IM HONORED

Also fun fact: my dad yelled at me for using his expensive professional binoculars because I didn’t put them in their case correctly when I like put them up lol. But it was worth it honey we won-y

Hello again! There's a rainbow outside my window right now. https://i.imgur.com/1KZpEFA.jpg BECAUSE WE JUST WON IMMUNITY! I really didn't expect that since I didn't give it my best, but oh well... I am not complaining. :) Emily did most of the work, props to her. Logan contributed as much as I did. Amanda, Kai and Madison are MIA - even in chat for the most part. But that won't matter too much right now. Also yay, it was fun winning the Reward Challenge by punishing that cheeky A1 placement. CHECKMATE ANTELOPES! There were no Antelopes in Ancient Greece. And soon there won't be any in Themyscira. I am already a bit scared about the next Challenge, but for now, I'll have a relaxed evening. Also, if Madison doesn't start doing much soon, we'll have an easy target SHOULD we go to Tribal Council in the near future. See ya again in Round 4 :)

okay so going into tribal tonight i feel good! i have my og hippo alliance of 4 and then i have good enough bonds with raymond and jack to where i dont think that they would come for me if given the chance. the logical thing to do is to vote out someone who didn't contribute on the challenge, but i know that isn't going to happen because if the og hippo alliance falls apart then that leaves a lot of room for uncertainty. however i do know if we go to tribal more than 1 more time after this i will be the next one to leave the game because i am the lowest on the totem pole for the og hippo alliance. it sucks and i don't want to do it but i think i have no choice but to vote with the hippos damnit

( AS MADELINE )

Wow Madeline is annoying huh?

Oh my god that last confessional was ME djxjsjdjf

(((((Host: bitch >.> ))))

Love Antiope turning into the new Copa... not a good run so far. I'm siding with the Hippolyta majority to vote out Raymond, and after that, me, Jordan, and Lily will become the majority if we have to vote someone out again. Or maybe I'm just gonna get voted out and then I'll just die. Who knows.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

11/15/19 3:33am - goin home, trying new things

So the trip home to see the family was wonderful. Actually I spent a little too long watching TV before leaving and waiting for the gas guy to turn on the heat, so I left a little late and was damn near passing out on the drive over. Had to stop a few times to nap, but made it. Got caught up on The Adventure Zone again. I’m really excited for this new story they’re gonna do, it’s like Harry Potter meets My Hero Academia. Pretty fuckin neato.

But yeah I got there had a beer with my mom and went to the game and froze my fucking BALLS off watching taven play football. ugh jesus. And the poor guys were against a team like 4 times bigger than them, I swear they didn’t get double digit offensive yardage. They’d get an offsides call and start first and 5, hand off the ball to taven three times in a row and he’d pick up 1 yard, 1 yard, -2 yards, and they’d punt it away again. I don’t think I saw a single first down lol. Taven got hurt so we left in the fourth, they were down 77-0 with 10 minutes left -_-

But still, good to see him play lol. It wasn’t about watching a win, it was about being there for him on his birthday. Fuck that sucks though lol. I always hated playing in the cold. 

Most of the weekend I hung out with wes at his and jenny’s place. We did hang out with mom and the fam for a bonfire on saturday, I ate as much guac as I could fit in my face, we had a couple beers, made some fires. It was sweet. Then we played some super metroid before I started passing out.

Sunday wes and I beat the game and went to breakfast. My dad wasn’t around so I drove out to visit JMell in NoVa instead. His place is pretty nice, and we mostly watched some funny youtube videos. Good ol Rack Em Willie and other crackhead vids and this guy Super Sus and general nonsense. Couldn’t go crazy because I needed to make it back for work.

So I drove back. Made it to Jill’s at 2 and she helped keep me awake until I needed to get ready for work because I picked up a daytime shift from 7 to 5. And I slogged through that just fine. Got a raise at work, but like the bare minimum, but I’llll fucking take it. It’s been the exact same as every other time I got a raise I think lmfao. A little extra pocket cash to throw at new toys is nothing to scoff at, though, I need another butt plug and stuff lmfao. 

I was supposed to roll from there to durham to watch the new rick and morty, but I passed out and overslept by an hour instead. fucking hate when my bodily needs get in the way of me trying to hang out with people for 48 hours straight, yknow? Sucks.

But I went to slosh still, had a lovely chill time. Made plans to go home to Jill but ended up bouncing to another bar with a bunch of people there and drank for another hour. Got me in a little hot water, but whatever. Worth it I think lol. I just can’t help myself from hanging out with as many people as long as possible. 

Jill and I woke up at like 2 and hung out most of the day just fucking around watching tv. I bailed to go run some errands and do karaoke. Had to get some epoxy so I could put together my butt plug tail. I finally knocked that out this evening before work, I think it turned out great. Gotta try it out soon :3

But karaoke was quiet. Not a lot of people came out because it was like bitter cold and windy and had been raining all day. So on the plus side I got to sing like five songs. On the downside, I didn’t get to flirt with any new people lolol. An old stripper friend I had made there, Kellene, showed up and we talked about how I was in her dream the night before and chit chatted a bit. Got to sing a little together, I love her fucking voice. But at the end of the night she asked me for some money to help pay for her tab. I was like sure and gave her $8, she said I was sweet asked if I wanted to do anything with her I was like huwhaaa I guess? maybe we make out somewhere? Idk. Then she roams the room around and comes back and asks me for money again and I was like dude I gave you everything in my wallet, you have my $8 right there in your hand. And she says “no this is my $8 I got it from my purse,” while she opens her purse and pulls the rest of the money she needs out of it. I was like... pretty flabbergasted. Like not like floored, more still amused than anything. Drunk people are funny.

Also after I sang some Drake my beautiful bartender Jaime said I should sing Frank Ocean. Killed it singing self control, and she like held my hands and said I love you like she has the past couple weeks. I made a slight mistake and let my curiosity get the better of me. It’s definitely a rule of mine to not ask girls who are working out, but I was just like “look I know this is a little inapprop, but would you want to go out sometime?” and she says “yeah, as friends, definitely.” and I’m like oooooof. She had to take care of another customer so I just walked away from that one. Glad I cleared that up though I really thought she was being flirty and cutesy but I’m just a knucklehead. Could’ve been worse lmfao. 

Anyway, went home with Jill, we hung out all day again watching this mediocre 911 show. Kinda fun at points though. It was mostly nice just chilling with her early since I’d blown her off til really late a couple times in a row. 

Then spice was last night and ho. my. god. It was the normal confection of watching people get beat, not meeting as people this time around because I knew a whole bunch of people that were there already. But I did meet a few. Hung out with the cute boy from the fashion show for a while. We have these like really awkward pauses in conversation though where he doesn’t like ask me anything and I run out of things to say but he’s just staring at me and grinning so intently. Idk, man.  Lol. I was supposed to do a scene that I had talked out with someone, but they unfortunately called in sick. So I thought I wasn’t gonna do anything, but then I ended up chit chatting with Neko and he offered to beat on me that night.

Wowowoww bottoming a REAL impact scene was intense. Like IN. TENSE. like I was thinking about tapping out a few times from the pain of it, but then he’d take a break and scratch me or rub my back and it would just feel so gooooood. By the end I was taking these hits in the back and like shivering with excitement/adrenaline/idk what. He like threw his thigh between my legs while I was up on the cross to support me and started rubbing my back and bit my shoulder and hnnnnng. god I just started lightly scratching and chewing on his arm. I was literally in uncontrollable shivers and giggles afterward, it was actually probably too much lol but I lovvvved it. I feel like I really Get it now. Especially as I sit on my ass covered in bruises today lol. Then my friend Bun squish cuddled me until I came back down to normalcy. Maya and Jill came to watch, actually, they got to see it happen so that was kinda rad. Jill wanted to go dancing at alchemy afterward but I was like no fucking way could I dance after taking that lol. So I drug them out to boxcar with me and we played some galaga and skee ball and foosball and tekken. Me and Jill almost got a shutout on Maya+some rando, and then the randos were like nahhhh so I beat Jill+Maya 2v1. We played again later and I lost the set though. But I was dressed up as a kitty all through boxcar lol, kinda neat. We stayed up til 6am just watching Daria and ranodm youtube shit. 

Slept a long time, almost had a weird fight with Jill, smoothed that over, took a bath for a few hours and I’ve been working. Excited to get off though, but not for any reason in particular. Just fuck work I guess? lol.

I really felt like I needed to write about that impact scene while it was fresh. It’s kinda stuck in my head. :3 

I’ve got emo karaoke in a few days, should be a lot of fun. <3 nothing too exciting coming up though. Having to schedule a bunch of extra work days to appease my boss kinda suckkssss but whatever I’ll take the money lol.

[megbox]

answering tumblr survey questions late at night like the 13 year old i am deep in my heart

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? Probably. Usually just fun, teasing little things. If anyone was actually salty about my taste in music, I think they need to work on themselves. 

What’s your favorite season of the year? I love the fall. 

Do you have pop-tarts in your house right now? Oh my god I haven’t had a pop-tart in fucking FOREVER. Now I want one. I crave one. 

Is anyone’s birthday coming up? SYDNEY’S omg it’s in like three weeks i am so beyond excited. 

Does someone owe you over twenty dollars? THE BANK. DAMN YOU RBC AND YOUR FUCKING RECONCILIATION COST THAT WASN’T A RECONCILIATION. I’m salty. 

Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? Trevor Kwan. I totally still would, tbh. 

When was the last time you burned any part of your body? Literally this morning I burned a solid layer of my skin off of my index and middle fingertips by accidentally grabbing my flatiron while it was on. 

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? No sir. 

Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? Of course!! That’s a long way off but I plan on having a bangin’ body by then so I will definitely be dressing up. I want to be Princess Peach.  

Have you ever called somebody dollface? I hope not. I’m sorry to anyone I’ve called dollface. 

If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on? I would spend it on gas money because my car is on empty.  

Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? LOL. Imagine if my answer was, “yeah? I do all the time?” 

What are you most excited about right now? A very big life trajectory that I have randomly and passionately decide to throw myself towards. That’s vague but I don’t want to be too specific in case it doesn’t end up working out. But I am infinitely excited about it. 

Does / did either of your parents serve in the military? No. 

Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? I used to be and somewhere along the way, realized that you never really get the recognition you crave for being a perfectionist and you can accomplish lots of things without all the nit-picking anxiety of perfectionism and I lost my edge. 

Do you like sour candy? I fucking LOVE sour candy. 

Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Japan. 

What do you do to stay awake when you’re tired? Coffee coffee coffee. 

Are all nighters something you have grown used to? I have never once been able to pull an all-nighter. I don’t know what it is. 

Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? No, and I probably should. I’m always squinting goddamn.  

Do you wear your shoes around the house? I totally do and I’ll bet my roommates think it’s weird and annoying but it’s just a habit lawllllll I don’t even know where it came from. 

Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? In the summertime. 

What clothes are you most comfortable in? Black tights, casual mini dress. 

Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? Syd. 

What has changed most about you in the past year? My plan for my future career and life, my mental and emotional wellbeing, my level of independence from my parents.  

Are you good at painting nails? No. I suck because I never wear nail polish. 

Smoothies or slushies? Smoothies.

Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? I am AWFUL AT THIS. Seriously so bad. And yet I always try. At work when I am serving tables, I try to fill those gaps with the worst little quips and jokes and sometimes it just sucks so badly. 

Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? HELL no I’d rather rot in the ground. 

Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? Um literally this morning doing research at the CSHC on sexual education and consent education policies for senior citizens in assisted living facilities and particularly whether or not dementia patients can consent to sex. :) 

Do you use a full length mirror daily? Oh yeah honey. I’m super vain. 

Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? I love to wear heels though I am a bit awkward in them. 

Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch? The Bachelor!!!! And America’s Next Top Model. 

Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? Literally all of my close friends.  

Even if you don’t like politics, do you still have opinions on the issues? I think not having an opinion on politics is impossible! I have a lot of opinions that are still kind of shifting and making themselves known and negotiating themselves in my head. 

Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Always. 

Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? Always.  

Do you ever actually make your bed? Sometimes. It makes my room look a lot more put together. 

Do you make an effort to eat healthy? Ugh no. Well, I go through phases. 

How are things between the person you like / love / are with? We are dancing around the topic of actually going on a real deal date by texting all the time and flirting about innocuous things. So it isn’t really existent at the moment but it’s enough for me because it’s lighthearted and fun. 

Where did you sleep last night? Right here. 

The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? No idea. Can’t remember. 

What year do / did you graduate? 2012 in high school, 2017 for my undergrad. 

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? Something at Ranchman’s the other night. Spiced rum, maybe? Porn stars? I don’t fucking know. 

What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? DRESSES

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? HAHA yes. Fun times. 

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Bon Iver.

If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? DUDE. A million dollars all the way. You know I’d never be thinking about that regret again cause I’d be too busy yachting in the Mediterranean with all of my close friends. 

Are you taller than your mom? Yeah yeah yeah. 

Have you ever been around someone who was high? Lmao. Many times. 

Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? In the morning. I HATE sleeping with wet hair. 

Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? Not officially but hookings ups were happening. 

What’s so special about what you’re wearing? Absolutely nothing. 

Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? HAHA yes. Yes I do. 

Could you handle living with a male roommate? I think it’d be a little weird. I love living with fellow girls. Unless it was one of my close guy friends. 

What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? I was at the Calgary Sexual Health Centre volunteering ~ 

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because we don’t speak anymore and we don’t have anything to say to one another. 

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yes.

What do you miss the most about your past? Having a better body, a more physically active life, and having lots of really special intimacy all the time. 

When is the next time you will kiss someone? Hopefully very soon. 

Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? oh yeah. 

Plan on getting drunk or high tonight? LOL no. 

In the past week, have you cried hysterically? Nope! Not once. Can’t remember the last time I cried. 

Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody? Yes I do! 

Are you on birth control? Yes. 

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Not last night but the night before, yes. 

Last time you were really happy? Honestly? Right now!!!!! It has been so long since I’ve actually felt this good about myself and my life. 

Do you tend to fall for players? I don’t even know how to answer this question. No. But sort of. 

Why aren’t you in ‘love’ with your last ex? For many many many reasons. 

Have you ever asked a boy for advice? Of courseeeeeee I have boys aren’t all useless 

Are you wrapped in a blanket? I am literally wrapped like a burrito in TWO blankets right now how’d you know? 

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? Lmfao god no me and Sydney stayed up with my work friends until like midnight and then I had to be up early to get ready for volunteering it was a heinous lack of sleep night 

Have you spoken to your mother today? Father? Just via texts.

What is the last medicine you consumed? My birth control a few days ago. 

What’s something you really want right now, be honest? To be alone with a certain someone and be able to finally make a move on him. To succeed on an application I just submitted. 

Do you have any plans for the weekend? I’m working Friday night, getting drunk with Connor on Saturday night, and working Sunday night. 

Will your next kiss be a mistake? I don’t really care. 

What’s your mood? I’m content :) 

What did you do yesterday? Yesterday was my day off so I slept in, woke up and went to Wal-Mart and bought us a new shovel and shovelled our walk. And then I went to a gym and bought a membership cause like wow I really need to get this body back in motion here. And then I went home and napped a bit and then I went to the grocery store and bought snacks to prepare for my guests who came over later and we all just hung out for hours. 

Want someone back in your life? Lol. One certain person but it��s just... not gonna happen and I realize that and it sucks but it’s also my fault and a direct result of a specific choice I made like two years ago so whatever. 

What are you excited for? Next weekend staying in Kananaskis with some hopefully new friends, Valentine’s day dinner with Ali, Sydney’s birthday! 

Do you find it hard to trust others? Not anymore. 

Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? Hell yeah. 

Are you a jealous person? Hell yeah. 

Would you go in public looking like you do right now? I’ve gone out in public looking much worse. 

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? There’s a few. 

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Nope. 

Missing someone you shouldn’t be? Nope.

Have you ever been heartbroken? Yes. 

Would you ever become a vegetarian? LOL I tried once and literally started having dreams about meat. 

Do you have nice eyes? I have been told that before and I really love my eyes. 

When was the last time you smiled? Now. 

What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? He is my coworker, my friend, and Sara’s younger brother. 

Are you hot or cold right now? I’m hot. 

What time did you wake up this morning? Ughhh like 7:45am it was brutal. 

Do you have a bad temper? Yessss yes I do. 

Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? Oh man I hope so. 

Do you care if people hate you? LOL okay I used to really really really care but I’ve honestly kind of stopped caring about being likeable to every person because I’ve realized that REALLY, when a person “hates” you how much time are they actively spending thinking about you and thinking about all your flaws? Probably not that much. 

Has a song ever made you cry? Lmao many times I am a sucker for sad, beautiful music. 

Does anyone love you? Yes!!! Lots of people. 

Where will you be 12 hours from now? Probably in this bedroom getting ready to go to the gym cause I have my “free personal training session” plz  KILL ME. 

Is it easy for people to make you smile? Sometimes. If I’m in the right mood. 

Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Noooo. 

Have you ever gotten in a car by yourself with people you just met? Well... every time I’ve taken a taxi. 

Last person to kiss you on the head? My ex. 

Do you ever get good morning texts from anyone? On occasion. They make me happy. 

What were you doing friday night?  I went to the Dierks Bentley concert with Steven and Amanda, and then met up with Sara, Cayley, Harper, Alex and Brad at Ranchman’s afterwards and we fucking danced and took shots and had a wild evening.

If you could see one person right now, who would it be? OLLIE

Would you rather choose truth or dare while playing “truth or dare”? Truth. I like knowing what people want to know about me. 

Do you like to hold or be held? Be held plz. 

Has anyone made you feel like crap lately for something they did? Nope. 

Where did you last sleep other than your own bed? My old bedroom at my parents’ place - HAHA boring. And before that, Ali’s bed! 

Who was the last person to send you a text message? Alex. 

Ever kissed a Jessica, Rachel, Susan, or Zoe? Don’t think so. 

Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions? Yeah.

Is there something you wish you could tell someone but can’t? Not realllllyyyyy? I wish I could tell someone that I miss them and wish they were available lol but they’re not. I wish I could tell someone that our friendship is never going to work and that’s okay. I wish I could tell my one friend she’s going to be alright. 

Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning person. 

Are you a mean person? Honestly I kinda am. I have a bit of a mean spirit. 

What was your last voice mail and who was it from? Oh god I don’t remember. There were a few weeks where I was getting tons of voicemails from insurance people, car people, bank people. It was annoying. I deleted them all. 

When was the last time you cried? Maybe my car accident? 

Is something wrong with you right now? Nope :) 

What are you listening to? Nothing. Silence. It’s very peaceful. 

You find out your ex is having a kid with someone you don’t like, you say? A KID? Dear god. I’d be terrified for him. Kids are a whole new level.  

Could you last in a relationship for over a year? Happily. 

Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to? Alvin Buckwold Elementary. 

Tomorrow is? BRUNCH. GYM WORKOUT. CLOSING AT WORK. 

What were you doing at 12:00am last night? I was rolling around on an air mattress and me and Sydney were gonna have a sleepover on it in our living room. 

When was the last time you completely broke down? Lol idk somewhere a few days after New Year’s Eve. 

Are you lying to yourself about something? Nope. I stopped doing that. 

What’s your middle name? Ashley. 

[lil-mad364-blog]

Day 5

September 11, 2018

All I have to say about today is “lmfao.”

SO much happened on this Taco Tuesday, so fasten your seatbelts and get ready for this crazy ride.

Let’s start with as soon as I woke up this morning. I had notifications and texts as usual. There was a text from the guy I work with, still not unusual. Then I open it... and here is this longggg text message about his feelings:

*For the sake of time, I am omitting a lot of the text*

“I like you a lot, so I’d really enjoy taking you on a date and getting to know you more. I’ve had too much disappointment in my life when it comes to women and I just can’t keep getting my hopes up. Sorry for being weird I just had to say it because I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

I KNEW IT GUYS. You heard it here first, I totally called it. He sent this to me at freaking 1am, so this was obviously something that was keeping him up or that he was just thinking about laying in bed. That only tells me that he’s gotten bit by the love bug BAD. Poor guy. He’s so so sweet, so I feel really bad for pretty much turning him down:

“I’ve been working on trying to move on from a serious relationship that ended, so I just think things with that are still too fresh in my mind for me to dive into something serious right now. With that said, a very casual “date” where we can just sorta hang out and have fun sounds nice, so I’d be open to that. I just don’t want it to cause your feelings to grow more when I’m just not ready yet.”

I thought that was a fair kind of response, and he was very respectful and understanding of that response too. He thanked me for my honesty, and we continued to just talk about other things like normal for the remainder of the day.

But now that he’s actually said it, it all feels a little more real.... I’ll come back to that later. I wanna keep the day’s events in chronological order.

I responded to his text on my way to my group therapy screening. Yeah, since the break-up, I’ve been seeing a counselor to help me through it and to also help me be more mindful of my own negative contributions so that I can better myself. My counselor suggested I try group therapy since she thought I could really benefit from it, but I honestly wasn’t too thrilled. Group therapy just makes me feel weird... But there was one type that she mentioned that I thought was a little more fitting for me.

It’s a group about interpersonal relationships, and it’s basically run like an interactive lecture, from what I understand. So they talk about building different skills that can help you in your relationships and things, which is exactly what I could use for Jordan and maybe even others if things end up not working out with him (but I honestly do believe they will). 

So I had my screening just to be sure that I’d be a good fit for the group, and they decided that I was! So that stuff should be starting soon, and although I wasn’t very fond of the idea at first, I’m actually really excited now to get started. 

After that, I started getting texts from the other guy about our baking “date.” I’m not sure if I mentioned it before, but we had talked about getting together and baking desserts. It isn’t like an actual date I don’t think, just more like a time for us to casually hang out. Idk when exactly this is going to take place, but it’ll be nice to get to know him more! At least that’s what I thought...

So actually not too long ago I accidentally found out that he was in fact born in the same year as my younger brother... So he’s more my brother’s age than my age, which to me is just weird for a potential romantic interest. I gotta be careful now from here on out about what I say to him to make sure I’m not being TOO flirtatious and leading him on, and I have to look out for any signs that he’s starting to actually have feelings for me. Maybe the sooner we have our baking night the better since that could be a good time for me to indirectly mention my relationship troubles and how I’m not ready to really date right now. Not sure exactly how I’m going to word it yet, but I’m sure it’ll pop out when the time comes..

I worked tonight. My loverboy coworker wasn’t working tonight, so I ended up telling another guy I work with about the long text I received... I was surprised that HE wasn’t more surprised to hear about it! Apparently, Prince Charming already talked to this same guy about me, and this guy told him “Dude I think you should just go for it.” NOOOO WHYYYYYY. He’s the only coworker I plan on telling about this. But he told me that maybe I should just give it a shot... He was like, “Well, it’s only serious if you kinda wanted to say yes..” And I was just like “.....” I could feel myself sort of blushing.. and he was like “Omg, you kinda wanna say yes!” Geez this guy was annoying hahaha. But if I reacted that way to his comments, then maybe I really should give this guy a shot... Ugh idk. I’m still so mixed about it. 

Overall, I don’t want to lead this boy on if I’m already in a plan to win Jordan back. He’s the focus here, after all. Everything has always felt so natural with Jordan... Never has anything been awkward. There’s so much love and so much passion between us, honestly even still, that I don’t want to let go of until I have actually given us our best shot at success. He’s who I really want. Yeah, I may talk about other guys and maybe having feelings or flirting or whatever. But at the end of the day, Jordan is who I really want. If I have him, I know I will not need anyone else. 

So let’s talk about updates with him. Still no contact from either one of us, which is awesome (for the sake of the 21-day plan). And today I actually didn’t see him with her at all... I try not to look, but when I did, they were no where near each other. I wonder if there have been any updates with them recently. I wonder if he has gone to counseling yet (since he said he was going to start going this semester). I wonder how much he thinks about me or misses me. But I don’t want to wonder too much, because that leads to over-thinking and making up false stories in my mind. All I need to focus on now is bettering myself and allowing some space between me and Jordan for these next 16 days. 

OH I almost forgot. So I realized today that our old anniversary is an open weekend for us... and this morning my mom sent me an email about how our high school (my and Jordan’s alma mater) needs volunteers for an event that weekend. It’s possible we could both go home that weekend, and have a really romantic moment where we go back to our spot... and we start fresh... Everything would fall into place. I would absolutely love that.

Well, it’s hella late, so I gotta get to bed. Goodnight, lovelies <3

PS: People at work are going out this Friday night, including you-know-who... this could get interesting. I guess we’ll all have to wait and see how it goes!

Lil Mad out.

[szopenhauer]

What star sign is the last person you text messaged? Aries

How did you feel when you woke up today? not well

Do you know what the person you're dating is doing at this moment? napping

Who was the last person to make you cry with laughter? my gf

Who was the last person you talked about sex/love with? either her or my father

Who introduced you to the person you're in a relationshop with? my high school classmate K.K.

How many brothers does your father have? two

When was the last time you did something which you knew was wrong? I don’t know what’s wrong and what not, ugh...

Do you still speak to your first crush? nope

If you could get your own house with one friend, who would you pick? dad but I’d prefer to live alone

Which is worse, too-tight clothes or much too-loose clothes? too tight are worse

What is something that you are willing to fight for? hmm...

If you jump, can you touch the ceiling of the room you’re in? noooo

Which do you think is worse: ear aches or tooth aches? tooth aches

How many different colors are you wearing right now?  3 (4 counting panties)

You can only listen to one band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? omg I can’t choose :o

Do you like big or small cars better? big

What store do you get the majority of your shoes from? *shrug*

What place, in your mind, is heaven on earth? How about hell on earth? there’s no such thing as heaven on Earth to me as I would bring myself there and ruin everything but almost whole planet is hell mostly because of people

Do you think there is anything scary about midnight? midnight is the time of ghosts but no longer minute before and/or after :P 

Can you snap with both of your hands? yep

In your opinion what is the absolute worst house chore? laundry?

How young do you think is too young to get married? definitely under 20 but I think it’s best to get married 30+

Who do you think is the dumbest superhero?  I can’t believe Green lantern is an actual superhero...

Would you rather be a hair stylist or a clothes designer? clothes designer

Would you rather be 3 inches taller or shorter than you are now? taller

Are there any foods that you think smell good, but taste bad? possibly

Would you ever stay overnight at any of your neighbors houses? why would I? 

Do you think it would be cooler to play a hero or the villain in a movie? hero

If you had the last name of your favorite actor, what would your name be? I like many actors so...

how many syllables does your first name consist of?: 3

do you know someone who is allergic to chocolate?: used to know

have you worn a dress [casual, formal, etc] within the past week?: not within the past week

when was the last time you saw the last person you kissed?: days ago

is that person your significant other?: yup

last person you talked to on the phone and what was it about?: mom, I informed her she probably didn’t take out the matches from my pocket and now she’s washing my shorts with ‘em inside the machine and my instinct was right so she turned it off in the last moment, minutes or even seconds later water would soak the package and that could ruin the clothes, I wish she checked or asked while taking my stuff away

got any plans today?: been to laboratory, done shopping but am too tired to help my parents in carrying wood 

were you born in an odd or even numbered year?: even

did you drive anywhere at all today?: took the bus

which of your parents did you see last?: both at once

describe your current shirt: black tee Nie każdy musi mnie lubić w końcu nie każdy ma dobry gust with Lil My

are you currently listening to music?: I’m very picky about songs today

do you fill out your own surveys or do you think it’s just weird?: I do

where did you buy the shoes you last wore?: Biedronka (Tom & Rose)

last disappointment?: health issues 

do you still talk to the person you first kissed?: yeah

did you seriously believe that the opposite sex had cooties in elementary?: I didn’t think about that 

did you take a nap today?: I barely ever take naps in general

name something random in your car: I don’t own a car

would/did you cheat on someone for revenge or if they wouldn’t find out? neither

would you rather be remembered for something bad or forgotten? forgotten

would you date someone twice your age for money? only if I really had to survive and there was no other way but not forever?

rate your self-confidence, 1 being insecure, and 10 being cocky. I’m insecure but not sure how much 

are you content? I wish

would you knowingly be who someone cheats on someone else with? cheats with me on someone they pretend to love? hell no

would you sleep with a teacher to pass a class you were failing? ewww, yuk

have you ever contemplated physically hurting yourself or another? mhm

are you prejudice against any groups of people? I am

is there anything you chose to be ignorant about? (war, animal rights, etc) maybe

would you replace any family members if possible (& who)? oh well...

do you lie when asked how you’re doing? what for? to blame then for not noticing? to be an ass who’s lying?...

do you have any plans for tomorrow? meeting with M.

are you able to get a tan? not much

the next time you are on an airplane, where will you be traveling to? umm... no thx

are you satisfied with the picture on your id card? could be worse but also could be better

what are your chances of getting with your crush? I'm taken

what color is your car? no car!

is the song you’re currently listening to being sung by a male or female? two women

where did you get the shirt that you’re wearing? it was a gift

how tall is the last person you kissed? taller than me

is anybody in the room with you right now? not rn

how long have you been with your significant other, if you have one? 3 months

do you enjoy dried fruit? meh

How’s your day going? blergh

What does your umbrella look like? I borrow my parents’ umbrella, I hate umbrellas

Do you share a room with anyone? there are furniture with stuff inside that don’t belong to me

Do you have socks on? Describe them. grey

Are you one of those people who has like a hundred apps on their phone? I have spotify, choices, tumblr, tik tok, fb and messenger

Do you have good reflexes? I guess

Picture you think is cute.

Do you like blowing bubbles? sometimes

Are you better at posing good questions or coming up with outrageous dares? depends

Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? I cried after some celebs but that’s all

If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends?  I haven’t :(

Do you think, if it came down to it, that you’d be able to kill someone? I believe I might

Are you good at rating things? am not

Do you get into a lot of arguments? :x

Can you pass for older than you are? can’t even pass for my real age lmfao

Do you talk a lot? at times

Are you capable of finishing a game of Monopoly? it’s not that hard

Do you own any tie-dye clothing? I hate tie-dye 

How much soda do you drink in a week? - Do you like being asked questions? love Are you nosy? slightly

How well can you pay attention to someone talking? depends What is the closest yellow thing to you? rosary Would you mind living on a farm? I’d try Are you a patient person? wouldn’t say so What annoys you the most about people? what doesn’t... Does your computer freeze a lot? my browser freezes right after turning on the computer and my internet dies often

Have you ever ate glue? wtf

When is the last time you took a picture? this day

If you could know one thing about the future, what would it be? when will I die for example

Do you like Ellen Degeneres? she’s awful

Are you comfortable dancing in public? whatever

Would you like to live to be 110 years old? I wanna die already

Do you like getting your picture taken? I’m ugly

Do you like being the X or the O when you play tic tac toe? X

What do you think is the most popular name for a girl? I checked:

Zofia Hanna Julia Zuzanna Alicja Maja Helena Maria Oliwia Pola

What about a boy?

Jan Franciszek Antoni Aleksander Stanisław Jakub Adam Leon Mikołaj Szymon

*do ya like any?

How many people are around you right now? my family’s in the kitchen eating so I’m alone

Do spicy foods give you heartburn or make you make you gassy? both and more

Is body hair attractive or unattractive to you? it’s normal/natural?

Do you prefer bare feet or socks? socks

Hard wood floor or carpet? hardwood

Would you ever want to work in a toy store? yasss

Do you like asking questions better or answering? answering

Do you follow your head or heart more? head

Would you rather give up your hand or your foot? foot

Have you ever tried crowd surfing? too risky and no fun

If you could have 16 wishes, tell me just one you wish: I don’t need 16, 3 are enough

Do you like the movie Bambi? If so, who is your favorite on there? I don’t remember Bambi 

Would you rather be on the computer all day or watch TV? computer

Would you rather be a police man or a firefighter? police

Do you like jokes or riddles better? jokes

Do you like onion rings? disgusting

Do you like odd or even numbers better? even are easier to count

Last song you heard? Marroon 5 - Animals

Ocean or lake? lake

Do you know a lot of people with the middle name Marie? weird but no, Anna is more popular

Do you like loud or quiet people better? smth in between unless in public - quiet strangers are better

Taking pictures or getting your picture taken? taking

Do you like chocolate? meh

Favorite day of the year? New year’s eve?

Favorite holiday? same

Crayons or markers? markers

Snookie or Vinny? Snookie

have you ever been to an animal shelter? that would break my heart

are you tired right now?

who is the worst actor or actress in your opinion? there are plenty  have you ever bought someone else lingerie? nope where are your parents right now? run around the house like crazy if you have a dog, does it bark a lot? luckily not, he howls rarely too have you ever seen a magic show? sure can you juggle? I tried to learn but failed

[survivordivergent]

EPISODE 2 - “WHO EVEN AM I”- ED

Thank the survivor gods I am on a tribe of 9 now! Whew. Four was way too small for me. I'm so glad I'm still with Melissa. Will and Eliza have both started talking to me already so there's promise there. I'm not too concerned about this reward but we'll see what happens.

Thank GOD you split up those tribes. 4 person tribes give me PTSD and this is much nicer to work with

UM BUH-BYE PEOPLE I'VE NEVER MET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BECAUSE YOU DON'T EXIST ON YOUR FAKE ASS ACCOUNTS EVER

I've been here on this new tribe for 14 seconds and five people have said hello to me. What kind of actual game teas

So, surprise! There was a tribe swap! To be completely honest, I kind of saw it coming, since two people left the first round. I'm really glad that out of everyone on Candor, I have Jill on the Four Tribe. Peter is never here, and I wasn't comfortable with Payton because I am almost 100% it's actually Jaiden, and I want nothing to do with him. Anyway, we get to Four, and Jill and I agree to stick together. Will we hold true to that? Who knows, honestly. I really like Melissa from Abnegation. And I like Kyle and Will, both from Amity. I feel like if I talk to Jill about it, we could have a solid 5 with those I mentioned. I just don't want to come off too strong or aggressive. Now that we are on a tribe of 9 instead of 4, it gives us a bit of room to work. I'm trying really hard to balance between making myself seem like a leader and making myself irreplaceable to my tribe. Leaders are more often than not voted out right away, but if I can show that I am good enough at challenges to keep us away from tribal, I'll be someone my tribe can't afford to vote out, if that makes sense. My goal for this game, as it has been the last 5 games I've played, is to just get to jury. If I can get there, then I will feel satisfied with my gameplay. I mean, winning would be great, don't get me wrong. I've played 5 games, won 2, and still never been on a jury. I just don't want to do worse than Malaysia.. Anyway, this is already a long confessional. So I will wrap up saying that I think we will win this reward challenge. Peter being on the Six Tribe has given them a real disadvantage, because he's never around and they need him to start. Hopefully the next confessional I make will be about idol hunting!

Having a discussion with Dani about going to bars and comparing issues with bouncers to Survivor ORGs, and then this happens:

Dani: so basically, its when you know you're getting blindsided but you just accept it and try not to flip the vote to someone else!

Ed: Wouldn't know. Never been blindsided.

lmfao who even am I.

http://prntscr.com/dhldvm 

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I've set up a spreadsheet that keeps all my thoughts organized and keeps all of the happenings of the game and my approach on things in one place. I don't know how long this will go on for, but I think it's nice to have handy for now.

I'd like to think Ed and I got pretty close during our Amity days and if we both end up on the same tribe together he hasn't forgotten about me. Will's cool too but he's gone MIA for a bit so I don't see myself as close to him.

I can see a divide occurring in the tribe if we happen to lose an immunity, which is why it's so important to try to connect with Otto ASAP. He's going to end up being the swing, and if that is the case, he needs to swing to my side. I'll pm him first thing tomorrow and see if I can at least start to establish a connection with him.

Until then, I gotta work on this reward so, Ciao!

Swap after the first tribal? Wtf are we, Albania? Well maybe Peter will improve a little bit and we can become close. I'm glad we didn't have to vote him off, but I don't think he's gonna be my #1 ally.

Okay honestly if we lose reward the other tribe fucking deserves it

We won reward and I'm really getting along with 4 members of my new tribe. I'm not really concerned about this immunity because I kind of want to lose to vote out Bran aka Amanda. So don't expect much from me :)

Me @ having an actual conversation discussing the strategy and plan for a challenge with my tribe: 

Did I do that #immunity2k16

i think i did that

FUCK I DID THAT IM BEING VOTED OFF BYE YALL

Do I lie? Do I expose myself? Do I beg for mercy? Pray for swap? Here's to praying. And I'm still having contractions. I didn't sign up for all this at once

So. Here's the deal. I'm either going home this round or the round after next because of this, or I'm going to get really far. I have to finess this properly, and I think I can work with it if I keep my story straight. I made a commitment to changing my game this ORG and I'm going to. Fuck honesty, it's too early for that shit. Lie, lie, lie, make a good ally and hope they never find out the truth. Or tell them the truth later in the game. I think honestly I'm safe for this round? Carolanne and Peter are both suuuuuuper quiet... rip. Here's to praying! Here's another confessional for Jenn, the confessional slut.

daaaamn payton back at it again with the peter discourse

I'm hoping people aren't being snakes to me and lying to my face. I have a fear people know what I did but I'm trying to cause Inactives Discourse™ before anything else and then hopefully win immunity next time so people won't know what I've done.

Episode title: Time to die, Binches

Tribal council tonight should go as expected. Carolanne has been here the least amount of time, so off she goes. I considered making a small move and keeping her with my Abnegation idol, but I'm not about to put a random target on my back to keep some freak who'll probably just end up self voting tonight.

If I had things going my way, it would be Payton going home tonight. She's just so irritating sometimes and I know exactly who she is, and she's beginning to play super hard too soon in the game. I almost feel like she isn't the person that I think I know, because she is legit just so frustrating. Payton has all these whimsical stories to tell about herself, like how she's pregnant and other family life stories and it all sounds like the person that I truly know, but she comes off so... fake... at the same time. I'm worried.

I can't make a long confessional for this round because I procrastinated super bad so I promise to make a good one later after tribal, assuming that I'm still here :)

I'll do a bigger confessional tomorrow when I'm not sleep deprived due to the current challenge. But just to check in real quick. I formed an alliance with Kyle and Melissa. I really like them, and so far, us three are the most active on the tribe. Hopefully we can pull this challenge out and avoid tribal, but if not, I feel like I will be okay. I could just pull in Jill and Kyle can pull in the other Amity, Will, and then we have 5. But, Kyle brings up a good point about not keeping people who didnt help, which, currently, Jill and Will both fall in that category. I'm too tired to figure this out right now, but hopefully we can win this.

This is a very cute challenge.

So far I think either Ed, Lucy or Dani would be a good final 2 for me if I don't go home after this tribal tonight. Here we go :D

Logan is Payton. I know that. How? Tea time. 1. Their avatar is Erinn. NO ONE USES ERINN BUT LOGAN. 2. I know them IRL, and they openly talk about going to technical school and stuff that Logan does. 3. They talked to me about the school I "go to", Bowdoin, and many other Maine state schools which are 'close to home' (my home).

I haven't told Logan I know it's them, and I don't know if I'm going to. But I could certainly use it to my advantage, saying "I know who Payton is and how they play."

Also, I forgot all my log in info for Peter's original skype so I had to make a totally new one.

Once a flop, always a flop. Even if you have a new name and are using your friends instagram photos/name.

I'm in the Ugly Fruti alliance. I'm really in an alliance named by capitalizing on the misfortunes of others. That is a thing. That is happening. In my life. Right now. Someone PLEASE tell me I actually like these assholes in real life because they're my favorites right now.

Well.... We were down for this challenge by a lot, then my tribe FINALLY woke up and they have quicker reflexes than me, so they got us almost caught up. Then Jenna posts a task about getting an idol clue and I hop on that right quick in my host chat, but I didn't READ THE ENTIRE TASK that says if I take the clue, I lose my tribe 50 points and OF COURSE my reflexes suddenly decide to wake up for this one. UGH. Now we are 65 points behind and I'm just so mad at myself. The only good thing is that nobody knows that I got this advantage, and I don't plan on telling them. I'm really hoping that there are some big points coming up so I can try to make these 50 points up. Ugh, I actually feel really bad. But hopefully I can get the idol out of it.

I promise to back up and make a proper confessional after results are posted, but I just want to say, if anyone on Four took that last deal and gave up all of our points, I am seriously going to fight someone. I mean, I know I gave up 50 points, but first of all, we made that back up, and second, I didn't know that it would lose me points to take the clue. Dumbo me didn't read the entire post, which I know I should have, but if I had known I wouldn't have taken it....  UGH

Confessional #5 Six Day 9

I don't think I made one of these in a week??? Yikes.

So Abnegation won immunity and I was happy. I haven't gotten that close to them, I was sort of inactive, everyone was in my opinion.

We swapped afterwards, I'm on SIx tribe now. It's cool, I like the people. We work together well, but the other tribe, wooh, they're good. We lost both reward and immunity. Sad, but we'll get over it.

However, we lost immunity cause someone was selfish and got an advantage. That's scary, I don't know who or what it is. It's stupid to do, they sabotaged the tribe. This early, it's not smart.

I'm sad, Carolanne is the person leaving, hopefully. She's been really inactive, but she's someone that I feel I could personally use to help the both of us. I'll rather it be her than me, and I hope nobody's lying to me. I'm personally worried that people may believe that I got the advantage. I don't have it. I'm just trying to survive until the merge.

(worry)

Okay so far I really like Eliza. I am sure I have said this numerous times at this point. During the task challenge I got an advantage of being able to cast an extra vote. I was PUMPED about this, and after it happened and there was a score update, Eliza messaged me and asked if I got the advantage from the where's waldo challenge and i immediately told her yes. I started to hesitate and wasnt sure if this was a good or bad thing so I lied about what the advantage was. So instead of being able to cast an extra vote I told her that I got the ability to look at someone else's vote before tribal. Gotta see if she is fully trustworthy later on. But for now she is the one i trust the most until proven otherwise. A tribal council will show a lot. But i also hope to not go to one just yet

I HATE THIS. I hate having conversations with people. I try and not share too much similar information about myself that I may say on my regular skype account to anyone to make sure people don't think that Jill is me, but also I am not that creative. Then on the flip side, I don't know how creative these people are. Payton definitely had decent skills at supporting the background and really diving into the character. I cannot bring myself to do this that intensely. Every conversation I have I go through a struggle of wanting to ask questions and learn about someone but then realizing everything they are saying could just be a lie and not be real so I don't know if it is worth my time to keep up with the charade. I don't know how people catfish online for years. It must get tiring and requires a lot of effort. I would be so afraid of a plot-hole I would not be able to do it. Thank god this game is only like a month and a half

[babymyharry]

the morning after

about five of my friends and i were just casually chilling around the coffee table @ 3 am last night (morning) talking about what we would do if any of us ever hooked up with harry. don't ask, idk either. but that’s how this got thrown together. i should be doing homework right now btw. i hate harry styles a lot (jk i love that bitch) 

WARNINGS :: a lot of this is literally just “texts” but you know i like to think i have a sense of humor so :-) like i said this is what i, ME PERSONALLY, would do if i ever hooked up with harold (lol) soooooo keep that in mind lmfao. 

don’t know how i feel about this one (questions my entire thought process) but hey! it’s something and i haven't posted in a while :) enjoy (;

O V E R V I E W 

“Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets or summat like tha’?”

He gets a playful shove and the roll of her eyes as she tries not to laugh at that. What a fuckin’ dork (which, in truth, just makes him all the more perfect to Y/N.)

“You’re a comedic lad, aren’t ya?”

She didn’t get crushes very easily, but it seems Harry was just the right amount of charming to have her falling faster than Alice did chasing after that damn rabbit.

or

Y/N doesn’t do one night stands and Harry truly and honestly believes she’s a proper angel or something. 

masterlist

-

It was the light streaming in through the enormous glass window that woke Y/N up from her slumber. She felt completely at peace, the atmosphere she was in creating the perfect ambiance for her restless early morning thoughts. 

That is, until she realized where she was. Well, not that she really knew exactly where the fuck she was. Because this house is definitely not her tiny studio apartment and there’s no baby Siberian husky at her feet that usually kept her company during the night and made sure to wake her with a slobbery kiss and there was no (annoying) roommate to wake her with the sounds of God knows what. 

Needless to say, Y/N had no idea what she was doing here. 

She vaguely remembers what even happened last night, if she’s being quite honest. Something about an award show her boss (whom she was an assistant for) dragged her to and a whole lot of famous people. 

And that’s exactly what makes her eyes widen and her eyes dart over to the sleeping man next to her. His bare back was facing her but she knows those tattoos from anywhere and - oh shit, he’s rolling over! 

Y/N doesn't mean for her mouth to drop in pure shock when her guess of who was next to her turns out to be accurate. 

Holy fuck, I hooked up with Harry Styles. 

His eyes were still shut tight and she really doesn't think she’s ever seen any boy look so peaceful in her whole damn life. He looks beautifully fucked out and Y/N smiles a sly smile with the remembrance that she’s the one that did that to him. 

Yet, that doesn't stop the adrenaline coursing through her and her mind raising a mile a minute. She really hopes he’s a deep sleeper when she tip toes over to her forgotten purse. She rolls her eyes when she spots her undies quite literally hanging from the lamp sitting in the corner of his bedroom. 

Y/N wasn’t always one for one night stands. She had always gone with the boyfriend route. Any boy who was ever interested in her knew you had to make her feel like a princess much before any clothes would be coming off. And so they did that. She’s had over 5 boyfriends in the past 2 years and maybe it was her fault she kept falling for assholes but Y/N really think she has the words “hurt me” and “break my heart” tattooed on her damn forehead or summat. Because none of them ever worked out. The longest relationship she’s ever been in was three months and that ended about 2 weeks ago when Y/N caught him cheating on her with her roommate (she also needed to seriously look for a new roommate). 

Her best friend Celeste told her the easiest way to forget about a dude was by getting another dudes attention. 

Maybe that’s exactly what Y/N was doing. 

She peers back at the bed with, sure enough, a knocked out Harry Styles still very much asleep. She grabs her phone out of the small clutch she had brought to the event with her last night and texts Celeste with emotions she doesn't know how to describe raising through her. 

to Celeste girl, please tell me you're awake!!!! need some girl help asap

from Celeste what's shakin??

to Celeste okay no time to explain but i took your advice and ventured out and kinda hooked up with a guy??? and he's sound asleep next to me and idk what to do i've neVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION?? should i like leave or is that bad or will he be annoyed if i stay GIRL HELP ME

from Celeste whoa Y/N!!! WHAT THEFUCK NEVER THOT YOU HAD IT IN YOU

to Celeste SHUT UP OMG HELP ME IM A NUN IDK THESE THINGS

from Celeste okok so he's sleeping right??

to Celeste like a baby

from Celeste yeah plz stay omg

to Celeste stay? should i act like i'm sleeping or something when he wakes up or?????

from Celeste i mean sure but regardless DONT LEAVE THAT HOUSE

to Celeste OK GOTCHA see this is why we're friends

from Celeste so i can give you hoe advice?

to Celeste precisely.

from Celeste yo is he hot lmao

to Celeste girl he's a dream. not only that he's such a gentleman

from Celeste MARRY HIM

to Celeste stfu i'm still freaking out

from Celeste what is this boy's name i need details

to Celeste you wouldn't believe me if i told you

from Celeste wait so i know him??

to Celeste uhm!! kinda ig omg

from Celeste TELL ME DONT DEPRIVE ME OF GOSSIP

to Celeste my lips are sealed

from Celeste ugh you whore Y/N's finally got some dick after lame ass dude from film school and he's so hot she can't even name him. will we ever find out mr dreamy's name?? we'll just have to wait and see. you know i'm always watching. xoxo, gossip girl

to Celeste LMFAO STOPP IT ADKJSF srsly Celeste i'm freaking out i don't know how he's gonna react when he wakes up

from Celeste i'm going to be so honest bc we're best friends. he may be a rly nice ass dude and i'm hoping to God but if he's an ass and asks you to leave i don't want your lil heart to hurt okay? some guys are like that and i don't want you to get your hopes up

to Celeste i won't i won't he was just a hot hookup, yeah?

from Celeste for now at least yeah but hey maybe mr dreamy is rly who you say he is and you end up dating or some shit that would be rad as hell but for now UNLEASH THE INNER HOE

to Celeste OH SHIT HE JUST MOVED GTG PRAY FOR ME

from Celeste   CALL ME RIGHT AFTER YOU LEAVE BABE I WANNA GET TO KNOW MR DREAMY BETTER 

And so with the roll of her eyes and a smile on her lips, Y/N swiftly makes her way back over to the bed, so quietly you might question if she was supposed to be some sort of spy in a different life. 

It’s about three minutes later when his eyes start fluttering that she puts on her best acting impression of someone who totally didn't just text her best friend asking about hook up advice. 

Harry’s hands go to his eyes and he’s blinking and wiping the sleep away when he gets a glimpse of the mile long legs next to his. There’s a brief flashback of last night where those same legs were wrapped around his hips in the car on the way to his flat after - fuck, what event even was that? Her tantalizing physique making it nearly impossible for him to wait to just fucking rip the fabric of the dress off. 

He shakes his head of the memory, glancing to the right angel next to him. 

Her hair was draped perfectly around her face resembling a halo or summat and Harry really doesn’t know what to call the emotions coursing through him. 

She’s beautiful, he decides. Completely and irrevocably beautiful. Harry’s heart does a weird twist and he has no fucking idea what it means but he can’t find a reason to dislike whatever was happening. He quite likes the feeling, actually. 

He doesn't know what the fuck to do, though. Wake her? Let her sleep? 

If only Harry knew she was in the exact same situation minutes ago. 

He opts for leaning over and cuddling into her with a lingering kiss to her cheek. (Y/N was quite the actress, wasn't she?) 

Her eyes slowly blink open as if she’s been asleep for a decade and then they meet with his. 

Her eyes roam from his eyes to his lips, from his eyes to his lips, from his eyes to his lips....

The next thing Harry knows is that they’re kissing. Much less fervent than last night but the drive is still there and he was over the moon about it. Her giggle causes the dimples to shine through as she broke the kiss. 

They probably just stared at each other for a good couple of seconds before he muttered the first sober words, “Mornin’, love.” 

Maybe they were both dissociating the fact they were proper strangers. Proper giggling like they’d been dating or something - how absurd. But neither Harry or Y/N really seem to have a care in the world about that. 

His voice was thick and raspy and Y/N never knew British accents were her thing till now. She could get used to this. 

But then realty sunk in. 

He’s Harry Styles. He’s a multi-milonaire with enough female attention to have a one night stand every night for the rest of his life and then some, if it did fancy him. Y/N couldn't be anything special to him. Right? 

“I should.. I should probably go, right?” 

His eyebrows furrow and those dimples are no where to be found when her question is asked. Maybe Harry was wrong, maybe she didn't feel the same way. 

But God. He doesn't think anyone has ever successfully made him feel this fucked out in a long time and the fact her beauty had him proper stuttering over the next thing he said to her was proof enough of how he felt. 

“What’s the rush?” The way his words come out so very somber (replicating a wounded little puppy dog, and Y/N’s heart almost breaks) causes Y/N to put a hand to his cheek as her eyes go wild in panic. 

“Didn't- didn’t mean it like tha’! Swear. Sorry, I’m just.. not really used to this kinda thing.” 

Harry’s eyes shine at that as lips turn upwards, “Whatcha mean by tha’?” 

“Like,” she motions between the two of them, “I don't hook up.” 

Harry wouldn't admit that actually makes him all the more attracted to her. She definitely wasn’t inexperienced, that he already knew. Far from that, if he’s being frank. But it might've tickled his tulips a bit too much with the information that she hadn’t accompanied too many blokes in their bedroom affairs and he’s seriously relieved about that. Not that he has any room to be jealous of her past lovers... but he is. 

“Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets or summat like tha’?” 

He gets a playful shove and the roll of her eyes as she tries not to laugh at that. What a fuckin’ dork (which, in truth, just makes him all the more perfect to Y/N.)

“You’re a comedic lad, aren’t ya?” 

Y/N really wants to kiss those dimples and stay wrapped in his arms forever. She didn’t get crushes very easily, but it seems Harry was just the right amount of charming to have her falling faster than Alice did chasing after that damn rabbit. 

The hand that was resting on her hip squeezes playfully as he chuckles a very boyish laugh that makes him look years younger. Y/N is a bit too enamored with how pretty she thinks he is. How long ago did they meet again? 

“I try, my darling,” There’s a flash in his eyes and it seems he wants to say so much but settles with holding his hand out for her to shake and she’s confused till he speaks. 

“M’harry.” 

She grins with realization and Harry decides every time she smiles an angel defiently gets their wings. “Y/N.” 

And so they shake hands with eyes full of a lustful kind of love and hearts full of gold. 

“Nice to meet yeh, love.” 

- 

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all the fucking love,

- amanda xx