#ugh we are so damaged by the tabloid press and by this idea that cynicism and mockery is superior idk.

[septembersghost]

I didn't mean you at ALL btw. Your discussions always seemed logical to me considering you have only found connections between the songs and linking it with what SHE CONFIRMED. I also don't mind talking about her/joe considering she herself wrote about it. But I feel like there is a line in my own brain which I don't like crossing(idk how to explain it but certain topics come and I'm like no honey dont go there)(again I never got it from you). For example I don't mind talking about how Taylor

Had fling with TH and circumstances for it because she revealed it. Or looking back at 1989 gifs knowing about her ED. But back then if someone said she had ED I would have been highly uncomfortable since we would have been making assumptions about her personal life. But her unconfirmed flings ( esp AS because they both DENIED IT or zac efron thing AGAIN BECAUSE OF DENIAL). You are right again. It speaks about the celebrity culture more than anything at this point

i didn't think you did! but thank you <3

since you mention this, i do have to admit i firmly believed she had an ED back then and was increasingly worried about her, and it got to the point where seeing her was so triggering for me that i avoided photographs of her altogether at that time, but it's only because i recognized things i'd already seen and experienced in myself, and i wasn't sure i was right, i was just concerned. if i hadn't had the firsthand experience, it likely would've not felt quite that acute to me. that said, i also didn't discuss it publicly, like i didn't say i thought CH was terrible, or didn't mention her in 2016 when i thought it was evident she was struggling pretty badly. the only person who heard me express any of this at the times it was happening was my mom (and i hate that i was right, especially in regards to her ED, because i wouldn't wish that on anyone, and i'm so proud of how far she's come and her ability to mention it and continue with her recovery). i do think sometimes we see reflections of things we understand in others, but we should still be cautious when talking about it on a public forum out of deference to them as humans.

thinking she's hooked up with people who have flat-out denied it or have only been mentioned as rumor is simply disconcerting/disrespectful to me and feels like leaning into the slut shaming culture even if it's not intended that way. but things she's written about and described in detail herself are public record, they're essential and a part of her art, so we can decide how to approach that and how to respectfully discuss it and its meaning.

I feel like there is a line in my own brain which I don't like crossing no same, and that's probably different for everyone and that's fine! we have to recognize what our own boundaries are and what we see as okay to approach. being interested/curious about artists and their experiences itself is never a negative thing! it's very human and universal, audiences have been captivated by the people who create things for centuries, it's all in how we engage and how we talk about and treat them. the moment it becomes cruel or dehumanizing is the moment i'm not interested in seeing it. but recognizing their struggles/joys and their inspirations and their complexities is an extension of empathy.