#ugh the butterflies from her eding up cuddling w him 😭🥹

[raysofcrosby]

HI YES HELLO, HERE I AM!!!!

i am v much so in love with this masterpiece you've written. 100% truly, just– its amazing. i've been listening to the song on repeat and you truly could not have picked a better song and fic and oh my lordy its just...*chefs kiss* i've admired your work long before you wrote this piece and i truly feel so honored that you got me to write for bc im so in love 😭

everyone pls read this fic, it's genuinely one of the best fics i've read and will take you on a nice emotional rollercoaster and you will truly feel like you're seeing this play out on a movie screen 💙💙

I Got You || Nathan Mackinnon

Authors Note: This is my entry for @antoineroussel‘s winter fic exchange 2k23. I wrote for @raysofcrosby​ who requested an OC fic and left most things open to my creative process after we agreed that it would be Nate. This was a concept that I dug out of my ‘someday I’ll write’ pile and I’m so glad I did. Song inspiration is I got you by Leona Lewis but the overall concept comes from season 8 of SYTYCD with Marko and Melanie’s lyrical hip hop (linked under the tag 047 on my page). This one got a little away from me and even changed a bit as I was writing it but I really hope you enjoy it.

Warnings: angst, minor cursing  // Word Count: 4,747 + song lyrics

~~~~~~~

A place to crash

I got you

No need to ask

I got you

Just get on the phone

I got you

Come and pick you up if I have to

Emily Bowers learned one thing a long time ago. She would do anything for Nathan MacKinnon. And she was fairly confident that he knew it. Their meeting had felt inconsequential at the time and yet somehow they’d managed to become friends. 

But friends were all they’d ever be because when they’d met he’d already had a serious girlfriend. Alexandra was fine, Emily had met her and had absolutely nothing against her, she was easy to like. She seemingly adored Nate and put up with him even when he was being difficult, often providing Emily the chance to be the one to call him out and tell him when he was seriously being a moron. And Nate adored Alexandra. Emily could only hope one day to find someone who looked at her like that. 

Of course the couple had their fights like all couples do, but lately those fights seemed to be occurring more frequently and didn’t blow over as easily. 

So when Nate called her around 2am one night Emily already knew what had happened before she picked up the phone. 

“Hey Em…” He mumbled, “Sorry for calling so late…” 

Before he could even finish she was replying with a sigh. 

“Where are you? The airport?” 

Nate’s soft ‘yeah’ filled her ears and though Emily was worried, she didn’t hesitate, staying on the phone with him as he grumbled softly about how cold it was while she threw on sweats, a hoodie, and boots and grabbed her wallet and keys to head to her car. 

Following Nate’s directions to the private charter side of the airport, it wasn’t long before she pulled onto the empty lot where Nate was standing talking quietly to someone who appeared to be part of security. Unlocking her doors, Nate approached her vehicle and opened the backdoor, tossing his bag inside before opening the passenger door and folding himself into the seat. 

“Hey.” He whispered gruffly and tiredly. “You’re the best.” 

“And don’t you forget it.” She couldn’t help but tease softly, feeling proud when that drew the slightest smile onto Nate’s face. “I take it you want my couch?” 

Nate’s nod as he turned to lean against the window answered her question and so Emily drove home with her unexpected overnight guest. She didn’t need to know what had happened to know that this had been a rough fight but like always she was sure that after a night of space (though she could never understand how they needed more space after Nate had just been on the road) things would settle. 

Arriving home, Emily pulled out extra pillows and blankets from a closet and as she sat them beside where he was sitting on the couch he reached for her hand, his palm warm against her own. 

“Thanks Em.” 

“I got you. You know that.” 

What's weird about it

Is we're right at the end

And mad about it

Just figured it out in my head

I'm proud to say

I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye

I'll be alright

Go ahead and make me cry

I'll be alright

Emily knew that Nate was planning on marrying Alexandra. After all, he’d been sending her pictures of rings for the past two months soliciting her opinion on what she thought Alex would like since she was a girl and all. Still, knowing it was coming didn’t make it sting any less when her phone dinged with a photo of Nate kissing Alex as she showed off that brand new extravagant engagement ring Emily knew Nate had spent a small fortune on. 

I’m so happy for you. Enjoy the moment. 

Though she sent the words, Emily knew the meaning behind them was hollow if not a lie and she couldn’t help but wonder if Nate did too somewhere deep down. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be happy for him, because she did, he deserved to be happy. It was just that in a way, that picture signaled a further shift in their friendship, one that she wasn’t sure was sustainable looking forward. 

After all, do friends ever last long when one has their heart broken by the other? 

Grateful that she was at least at home alone and not out in public, Emily pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed softly letting the past three years of emotions finally wash over her after being bottled and shoved deep down for so long.

It wasn’t fair for her to feel like this. She knew that. She knew that Nate had done nothing but stay within the boundaries that had been set back when they first met. This wasn’t his fault. 

It had been her fault that she’d fallen a little bit in love with him knowing that those feelings would never be returned. It was her fault that she continued to let him use her as an emotional backstop when things had gotten hard in his relationship. It was her fault for hoping that someday maybe things would be different. It was her fault for wanting more than he could ever offer. 

But knowing it was her fault and not his didn’t make it hurt any less. 

So today, today she’d let herself cry and mourn what was never to be. And tomorrow, tomorrow she would get up, rebury all of those feelings, and support Nate through the craziness of wedding planning with his bride to be. 

And it might not happen quickly but someday, someday she’d be alright. 

And when you need a place to run to

For better for worse

I got you

I got you

Ain't falling apart, or bitter

Let's be bigger than that and remember

The cooling outdoor when you're all alone

We'll go on surviving

No drama, no need for a show

The sun was shining, it was warm but not overly hot, it was a perfect day for a wedding. Entering the church that Alexandra had picked, Emily felt a swirl of emotions. Today was the day that Nate would officially be married. Dipping off towards the groom’s room, Emily knocked on the door before smiling as Gabe opened it, waving her into the room. 

“He’s a little anxious. Maybe seeing you will settle him down.” Gabe whispered, motioning to where Nate was standing looking out a window, the tension visible in his body. Nodding, Emily moved across the room toward her best friend. When Nate noticed her he opened his arms and Emily stepped into them wrapping her arms around him in a hug. 

“Big day.” She whispered. “And it’s beautiful out, which is perfect.” 

“Yeah.” Nate agreed, squeezing her tight. “You look pretty.” 

“Thanks.” Though she knew it was just an offhanded polite comment, Emily banked it in her mind nonetheless. “You look dapper, and you’re still sober, which I suppose are both good signs.” She could feel him roll his eyes at her even without looking up at him and after a moment he pulled away ruffling his hair until she had to reach up and fix it. 

“I should go get to my seat but I just wanted to check in first.” She added. “Next time I see you, you’ll be a married man.” There was a twinkle of excitement in Nate’s eyes but also an undercurrent of nerves which she assumed were only to be expected at this point. 

***

It wasn’t long after she settled into her seat that Nate and his groomsmen appeared at the front of the church for the ceremony to begin. As he stood there, Emily could see how uncomfortable he was at the venue and she bit her lip remembering how contentious that decision had been. She hoped Alex was happy to have gotten her way. 

Emily had figured that it would only be a few minutes after Nate took his place before the bridesmaids would start filtering down the aisle followed by Alex. But she couldn’t help but peek at her phone in her purse noting that the wedding was supposed to have started already. Seeing Nate fidget, Emily quickly slipped out of her seat and out the back of the church going in search of the missing bride. Instead, she found the bridal room completely empty. There was scattered trash signaling that people had been here but there were no people and no bags of personal belongings. Stepping further into the room Emily saw a ring box sitting on a table with a note tucked under it and keys beside it. 

Peeking at the ring box revealed Emily’s worst fear as it contained the ring that had been on Alex’s hand for the last year. She had left. Just up and left him standing at the end of the aisle. Grabbing the items, Emily raced back to the side entrance of the church the groomsmen had come through. Once there she cracked the door open trying not to draw the attention of the entire guest list. 

“Gabe.” She whispered quietly drawing the groomsman’s attention. “You gotta get him out of there.” 

Seeing the panic on her face, Gabe nodded and announced that there must be a dress mishap or something and that they’d be right back. 

Leading the group out of the church Gabe mouthed to her asking what was going on and Emily glanced around before mouthing back ‘she left’. With wide eyes, Gabe looked at Nate who was completely befuddled but still relatively calm as he followed the rest of the groomsmen back to the room. 

“She left?!” Gabe whisper yelled, his face turning angry. 

“Left her engagement ring, house keys, and a note.” Emily whispered, waving the items in her hand. “It’s not our place to read the note but considering there is literally no one and nothing else over there I think it’s safe to say she’s gone.” 

“Fuck that.” Gabe murmured, snatching the note and unfolding the simple piece of paper. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. This wasn’t what she expected, my ass.” He continued, rubbing at his face before handing the note back. “Fuck. What’s the plan?” 

Swallowing hard, Emily rubbed her sweaty palms on her dress. This was not how today was supposed to go and while a part of her thought maybe she’d be relieved, she wasn’t. Nate didn’t deserve this. 

“Get him out of here. I don’t care where you take him so long as it isn’t here or home. Get him drunk if need be.” Emily started. “And turn his phone off.” 

“I’ll take care of that I guess.” She continued, tipping her head toward the still full church. “And then I’ll go pack up all of her things at the house, he’s not going to want to see that. And I’ll text you when that’s done.” 

After ensuring that she had his cell number and he had hers, Gabe disappeared into the groom’s room upon her direction to just hurry and get Nate out of there. 

Emily knew that Nate was going to be confused and hurt and she hated that but all she could think about right now was doing as much damage control as possible. With Gabe texting her that Nate was reluctantly out of the building, Emily took a deep breath and stepped back through the church’s doors. 

“May I have everyone’s attention?” She said with as loud and strong of a voice as she could. “I know Nate and Alex appreciate everyone coming today. However I regretfully inform you that the bride has decided there will not be a wedding today.” Gasps went up throughout the church and she let her eyes meet those of Alex’s family who seemed just as surprised by that news as everyone else. 

“I cannot speak any further on behalf of the bride, but Nate requests that everyone please give him the time and space to process these developments. He also requests that you please feel free to proceed to the reception venue as the food and drink has already been paid for. Again thank you all for coming.” 

Stepping down from the front of the church, Emily took a few deep breaths trying to calm and focus herself. A moment later Nate’s parents and sister raced through the doors she had just exited and she approached them with a sad smile. 

“He’s with Gabe and the groomsmen. I told them to take him anywhere that wasn’t here and feel free to get him drunk.” She murmured softly. “I’m going to head over to the house now and pack up all of her things.” 

“What the hell happened?” His mom Kathy questioned, already close to breaking down herself. 

“I didn’t read the note because it’s not my place but Gabe did and murmured something about ‘this not being what she expected.’ So I don’t know.” 

After talking between themselves for a moment, Graham murmured that he was going to text Gabe about where they’d gone and Kathy asked if she could come to the house. Nodding because a second pair of hands would make things go faster, Emily asked Sarah if she could go pick up some boxes and packing tape and bring them to the house. 

****

It was dark by the time everything that screamed Alex in Nate’s house had been packed up and loaded into Sarah’s rental car to take over to a storage unit for Alex to pick up whenever she was ready. 

With Sarah and Kathy gone, Emily moved to change Nate’s sheets after texting Gabe that if Nate wanted to come home he could. With Gabe replying that they were on their way only a few minutes later, Emily sent a thumbs up and settled down at the island with a bottle of water, again breathing deeply to keep all the bubbling emotions under control. 

Though Nate was drunk when he walked through the door, he wasn’t quite as drunk as Emily had been expecting. Still, Gabe urged him up to bed and as he did so, she got water and pain meds ready to be at his bedside when he awoke. Heading upstairs, Emily watched as Gabe settled Nate into bed and frowned as mumbles of ‘I don’t understand why she did this?’ filled the room. 

“No one does.” Gabe murmured back softly. “But get some sleep man you’ve had a hell of a day.” 

With Nate seemingly on his way to sleep, the two stepped out of the room and closed the door. 

“I’m gonna stay with him if you want to head home.” Gabe declared with a yawn. 

“Gabe, you have a wife and kids. Go home. I’ll stay with him.” Emily insisted. Eyeing her for a moment, Gabe nodded and murmured softly that she was a good friend and Nate was lucky to have her. 

“I could say the same for you.” She replied. “Now go.” 

With the house finally quiet, Emily sunk into Nate’s couch tugging a throw blanket she had gotten him over her legs as she tried to settle down to sleep for a few hours. 

When she awoke she was a little surprised to hear Nate in the kitchen, the smell of eggs filling the air. 

“Hey…” She whispered cautiously, not sure how he was going to be feeling this morning. Though he looked tired and a little worse for wear, he also seemed relatively stable considering. 

“Eggs?” He asked, voice a little gruffer than usual. 

“Sure.” Emily replied, honestly starving as she had been so focused on doing whatever she could for Nate last night she hadn’t eaten since lunch the previous day. Sitting up at the island counter, she just let Nate cook not wanting to interrupt him. 

“Was thinking…” Nate started out of nowhere making Emily jump a little. “You don’t start your new job for a couple more weeks right?” 

That was not a topic that Emily was expecting Nate to bring up but it was true that she was off for a few weeks between jobs. 

“Want to come to Fiji with me?” 

Nate had glanced over his shoulder with the question and Emily could only meet him with a blank look. 

“I mean the honeymoon was already booked and paid for and I’m not going to not go…” Nate mumbled. “Thought maybe you’d want to come…drink, eat, tan, swim, just chill.” 

Though it seemed a bit taboo to go on someone else’s honeymoon, Emily could tell that Nate really didn’t want to go alone and when else would she get a chance to go to a beautiful resort in Fiji. 

“You know what…sure. I’m in.” She declared. The way Nate’s whole body relaxed told Emily it was the right decision and as he slid a plate of eggs across the island to her there was even the smallest trace of a smile on his face. 

“Awesome. Eat up and go pack. Flight leaves at 3 so I’ll swing by at noon to get you.” Blinking a few times, Emily tampered her surprise because of course the flight was leaving today. She definitely needed to rush to get ready though because she certainly hadn’t planned on going anywhere. 

But now, now she was just going to go with the flow. 

****

Three things popped into Emily’s head when they arrived at their villa on Royal Davui Island in Fiji. First…the travel had been a complete bitch and she was exhausted. Second, she had never seen a view this beautiful in her entire life. And third, though she should have expected it, there was only one bed. At least the couch looked comfortable enough. 

“Nate…this is stunning.” She declared immediately opening patio doors to step outside onto the balcony. It was truly paradise in every way. She could literally just spend the next week sitting here and staring at the view. 

First though she needed a shower, a change of clothes, and possibly a nap. 

Checking the first two off the list, Emily saw Nate sitting in a chair off on the living room patio and she moved over to him, surprised to see drinks and food waiting there already. 

“Figured it had been awhile since we ate.” Nate declared motioning for her to sit. Everything looked absolutely delicious and Emily couldn’t wait to dig in. But Nate was holding up his drink in toast and she wasn’t going to leave him hanging. “To new chapters.” He murmured softly. 

“To friendship.” Emily echoed clinking her glass against his before taking a sip. If the drinks were this good she was about to spend this whole trip more than a little buzzed. 

Enjoying their lunch, Emily just gazed out at the view once again amazed at how stunning this place was. There was a certain peace that came from being here, to finally be still after all the chaos. 

Deciding that that nap sounded like a great idea, Emily moved to lounge on the couch under the cool ceiling fans and though the room was bright, sleep came easy. 

Her nap was followed by a trip down to the white sand beach with Nate and exploring the rest of the amenities on the island before they settled back at their villa for a private dinner. 

When it came time for bed, Emily moved to settle on the couch once again and though Nate looked like he wanted to say something, he kept his mouth shut. 

Overall the next few days were similar, Emily and Nate dined together but they didn’t always spend the whole day attached to each other’s sides. Nate used the fitness center on the island while Emily curled up on a lounger tanning and reading. Nate went hiking while Emily enjoyed the plunge pool at their villa. 

They did go on a scuba excursion together and there were the couples’ massages Nate had arranged which had been slightly awkward but for the most part they just relaxed whether they were together or off on their own. 

On the fourth morning, with Emily having awoken while Nate chose to sleep in, she sunk into the plunge pool just relaxing and looking out at the ocean as the sun rose. After about twenty minutes she heard footsteps before Nate’s voice softly asked if he could join her. Nodding, Emily shifted along the edge and Nate approached her, sinking down beside her. 

Neither said anything, just watching the new day start. Shifting, Nate’s leg brushed against hers under the water and Emily startled a bit not expecting the skin to skin contact. It wasn’t unpleasant, just unexpected. And though he apologized, Nate’s energy felt like it had shifted. Over the course of the past few days he’d been pensive which made sense given the way his life had just been upended and Emily couldn’t help but wonder a bit what he’d been thinking. 

“Are you sleeping okay on the couch?” He eventually asked. “Because it’s a king sized bed. It wouldn’t be that awkward to share it. You know if you wanted to…” 

Emily had known Nate long enough to know that while he may have phrased it in a way that put the ball entirely in her court, he wouldn’t have said anything if it wasn’t something he wanted at least a little. 

“I mean I guess I could be sleeping better.” She admitted leaving it at that and knowing that he’d draw the rest of the conclusions for himself. 

Sharing Nate’s bed that night after spending the day paddle boarding and snorkeling once again had been surprisingly comfortable and it wasn’t a surprise to Emily when she ended up tucked under Nate’s arm with his chest pressed against her back. It likely wasn’t a surprise to Nate either and if it was he played it off easily getting up to go get a morning workout in. 

While he did that, Emily soaked in the jacuzzi tub before settling down with another book. She was 100 or so pages in when Nate flopped down beside her on the other lounger.

“So Alex texted asking if I had gotten the ring, keys, and her note.” Nate stated. 

“They’re uh on your dining room table.” Emily murmured, peeking over at him. 

“I know.” Nate sighed softly. “I saw them.”  He paused. “I told her I didn’t understand why she had walked away. Or why she had waited until we were literally getting married. She hasn’t responded yet. And I don’t know what to expect if she does or if she even will. Was it my fault Em? Was it something I did? Something I didn’t do?” 

Closing her book, Emily sighed and twisted to sit up and look at Nate. It was clear that this had been bugging him for more than this morning but that he had finally worked his way through it enough to talk about it. 

“I can’t answer that Nate. I’m not Alex so I don’t know what it was that she was expecting or why she waited so long if she wasn’t happy and didn’t say something first. But regardless of her reasons, the way she went about it was shitty. I know that and I know you know that. You deserved better than to be stood up at the altar with just a flimsy note of excuse and no warning.” 

Nate mused over that for a second before murmuring that Alex had also inquired about getting her things. 

“Your sister already sent her the info for the storage locker.” Emily replied. “So you can just ignore all of that, it's been taken care of.” 

Looking lost in thought, Nate sat there for another fifteen minutes before murmuring that he was going to go take a nap. Knowing that he needed as much space as he wanted to sort through it all, Emily returned to her book just basking in the backdrop knowing that they were leaving in the morning and not wanting to waste a second of the view. 

Just wanna say

I got you

After spending most of the day sitting and reading, Emily decided to go for a walk and when she returned another private dinner was set up. 

“God I’m going to miss this food.” She declared calling out to where Nate was leaning against the balcony. 

“Yeah.” He agreed though it was clear that he was as lost in his thoughts now as he had been earlier. 

It was another quiet meal with her not pressing him to talk about whatever it was on his mind. While he took the dishes outside for the staff to retrieve, Emily leaned against the balcony as the sun started to creep lower in the sky. 

And though she heard Nate’s steps return, she expected him to lean against the railing beside her. Instead, he stepped behind her, sliding his arm around her waist in a reverse hug. 

“You’re gonna be okay Nate.” Emily whispered. “I know it’s hard now but you’re going to get through this.” 

“Did you read it?” Nate asked, his voice low in her ear. 

“Read what?” 

“Alex’s note.” 

“No Nate. That wasn’t my place.” Emily insisted. “That was a note meant for you.” 

“Except it had your name on it.” 

Before she could insist that no it hadn’t, Nate had placed a crinkled piece of paper into her hand. There plain as day in Alex’s handwriting was Emily, not Nate written on the front. How had she not noticed that? Unfolding the paper Emily started to read the message that had been intended for her eyes not Nate’s.

So that was where Gabe had gotten his mutterings and he’d stopped reading right there. Continuing on, Emily found herself biting her lip.

By the time she had finished, Emily had practically stopped breathing. That was…a lot. Her brain was spinning and her legs felt weak. Thankfully Nate’s arm secure around her waist held her up. He’d obviously read the letter a few times even if it was never met for him and Emily couldn’t help but feel guilty. Alex had left because of her. This was her fault. 

With her legs collapsing completely, Nate’s grip tightened even more and he shifted them back to the couch, pulling her onto his lap. 

“I got you.” His words were muffled by the press of his mouth against her bare shoulder but she heard them loud as day. How many times had she said those same three words to him in the past four years? And yet coming from his mouth they felt completely different. 

They sat there with his nose just teasing against the skin of her shoulder until the sun had sunken fully in the sky and her breathing had regulated. 

“Em…” He started softly, his voice vulnerable. “I know it might not be time just yet but when it is….I think I want to take that chance. Will you take it with me?” Her nod was instinctual, there was no other explanation for it, but it was enough for Nate’s shoulder’s to relax. “Yeah?” He questioned. 

The kiss that followed could barely even be called a kiss but it held a promise. As Nate cupped both her cheeks, his lips grazed against hers faintly before his forehead pressed against her own communicating without words. 

I got you.