#ugh i wish i could explain context for everythihgn i promise some odd htings make sense if you KNow them sadlkjfsdlakjf

[auspex]

VtM Fangfest 2024 Prompt 7: The Lovers

Hello! Here is my seventh fic for Fangfest 2024 :)

All my fics will be about characters that are previously established, so you might not have context for everything mentioned or hinted at within :( Feel free to reach out to ask I love explaining!

I've never really posted my writing before so be kind!

my first fic is here

my second fic is here

my third fic is here

my fourth fic is here

my fifth fic is here

my sixth fic is here

This fic is about Mark and Cassidy, of course!!! Art of them here

They've done quite a bit together which I reference but could not fully explain below... so apologies for things mentioned without context!

I love them so much though <3 this is set just before they become a couple officially :)

Mark found himself overthinking his outfit as he walked down the endless stairs to the chantry entrance. Was wearing a whole new outfit, the one that he had picked out no less, too much? He hoped not. Surely it makes sense. Yeah. It didn’t matter, probably. Or maybe it did. Cassidy did seem to care about taste. Mark attempted to reason with himself though; one outfit wouldn’t make-or-break this. Either he was reading things correctly, and Cassidy was simply playing coy by not initiating things, or he didn’t like Mark, and nothing he did at this point would change that. 

Such were Mark’s thoughts as he made his way all the way to Cassidy’s haven. He took a deep breath before knocking. He will definitely be able to tell I’m nervous. 

Cassidy was already smiling when he opened the door. Mark couldn’t help but smile back and his nerves eased a bit. 

“Hello, Mark. I am glad you could make it. Come in.” 

“Ah, of course. I’m glad things are settling down.” Cassidy’s haven was as put-together as always; the blue couch he had helped Cassidy pick out was neatly decorated with matching pillows, and the bookshelves were finally both filled and organized. It was odd to see the room only lit by lamps; Mark missed the artificial sunlight previously provided by Gaius. He looked around and listened for anyone. “No Lillian?”

“No, she is making her report to Dr. White soon and so when I mentioned you were coming she went to her laboratory to focus.” Cassidy sighed. “I will have to make mine to him soon as well. Though it will be a successful report, I am not looking forward to the loss of free time.” He slumped onto the couch as he finished the sentence. 

Mark went to sit next to him. “Oh, yes, that makes sense. Erm, how often do you think we’ll be able to see each other, after that?” 

“It’s hard to say. I only know that it will be less.” He gave Mark a sad smile. “When I have time, I will certainly reach out to see if you are available.” 

“I would like that a lot, Cassidy. I should have a predictable schedule. Things have changed for me lately.” 

There was silence for a moment before Cassidy hesitantly spoke. “Ever since your sire met final death, yes?” He opened his notebook. 

Mark raised an eyebrow at the notebook but answered anyway. “Yes. He was, well, he asked a lot of me. And obviously entirely uh, changed my life, for the worse, I suppose. But there was a level of direction, and even of safety in a way, that I don’t have now - no one is telling me what to do, or asking what I’ve been doing, so. There’s a lot to figure out.” 

“I understand. What’s the phrase - ah, things have been turned upside down for you. And I know you said you were doing just fine, but sometimes, one’s emotional response to such a large change is delayed, so please remember, you can always talk to me.” 

“Thanks Cassidy. I’m doing ok though, really.” Mark attempted a smile. 

“Hm. I had asked you before what you wanted, Mark. Remember, after we were investigating that supposed Anarch party? At that time you said safety, and people you could talk to. Has that remained the same since your sire’s death?” 

Mark pursed his lips in thought; it was a question he had asked himself already yet still had difficulty answering. Before he got to that though: “Well actually, at the time of answering, I did want those things, but what I was really working towards was freedom from him, though as you might guess I had mixed feelings about it even then.” 

“This makes sense, and it is wise to keep such things close to your chest.” Cassidy made a note. “And what do you want now, then?” 

“I’m still not sure.” He made eye contact with Cassidy as he continued. “I have found people to talk to. And I’m finding some measure of safety, especially considering I won’t be asked to complete deadly tasks by my sire anymore. But I don’t know, Cassidy. I had a whole, uh, living life just a year ago and so much has changed. I know I sound like a broken record, but I’m still struggling to find my footing.”

Cassidy was writing quickly now. “And the sudden breaking of the bond didn’t help with this, as well as losing his direction, I am sure.”

Managing a weak smile, Mark replied. “No, it did not. I’m managing okay though, I think. Still, a lot changed. There are people and things I miss.”

“Certainly. It will get better with time.”

“Yeah, I guess so. You uh, help too.” Cassidy’s pen pauses for a moment. 

“You as well.” Cassidy replies quietly. “I appreciate you sharing all of this with me. I find it interesting, yet I am sure it is hard to talk about.” 

Mark scratches his neck as he speaks. “Well, like I said, you help. What do you mean by me helping you too, though?” 

Cassidy pauses first, and then speaks deliberately. “I suppose, I meant that there are things I miss too, and you remind me of them, in a good way. How is Bartholomew, also? Has he scratched up and destroyed any of your new furniture yet?” 

Mark adjusted his glasses, somewhat taken aback by the shift in topic. “Oh, not yet, but he does enjoy hiding under things. If you would like to see him, I am sure I’d be able to invite you somewhat soon, I would just have to discuss it with my roommate.” 

“Yes, I do remember you mentioning a roommate; I am curious. What is his name?” 

“Erm, JP.” 

“How did you come to live with him? Is he someone you are perhaps considering to allow into your coterie as a new member?”

“Ah, I don’t want to go into it too much, but it really just makes sense. We both are in basically the same situation and I wanted to help him out. There aren’t any issues, he just wanted some alone time and I should let him know if you’ll be coming over.” Mark smiled. “Unlike Lillian, he doesn’t have another private space to go to.

“That certainly makes sense, then. Shall we watch Fight Club now?” Cassidy was already moving to set the movie up. 

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Dammit. Mark had wanted to ask him before the movie started, but despite wracking his brain, he could not figure out how to ask. 

“You haven’t explained this movie to me yet. What is it about? Or is it intended to be a surprise?” Cassidy placed the movie in the player, and sat back down on the couch.

Was he sitting a bit closer or am I just hoping he is? Mark roused the blood to make his skin warm just in case as he replied. “It’d be better not to spoil it. I really do think you’ll like this movie, though it's not as, erm.” Mark shook his head from side to side and adjusted his glasses as he sought the right words. “Well, the themes are not as… explicit as the previous two we saw.” 

“I see. Will that be made up for in other ways?” Cassidy’s voice was entirely deadpan. 

“Oh, I’ll let you judge that for yourself.” Mark glanced at Cassidy’s notebook, which was in his lap as usual. His pen was poised to take notes. 

This time, Mark struggled not to sneak glances at Cassidy to see his reactions to the movie. Last time they watched a movie together, Mark hadn’t seen it before and had found it engrossing, making it much easier to focus. Since Mark had already seen this movie, he was much more interested in Cassidy than the screen. It didn’t help that they were sitting so close this time. Maybe he really had sat closer intentionally? 

Cassidy made notes frequently, and overall Mark observed that he appeared quite interested. He adjusted how he was sitting periodically, seemingly lost in thought, and tilted his head towards Mark. In these adjustments, most brought him closer to Mark - he still couldn’t tell if it was on purpose, but it was becoming harder to deny that it was. 

During a quiet scene, Cassidy caught Mark looking at him. By this point, Cassidy had maneuvered himself quite close to Mark, close enough for Mark to make out his eyelashes behind the reflected light in his glasses. 

They held eye contact for a long moment before Mark abruptly stared straight ahead at the movie. He felt the sleeve of Cassidy’s shirt brush against him as Cassidy then also turned his attention back towards the movie. If Mark just sat back a bit… 

And now they were touching, sitting with their arms against each other’s. Cassidy’s arm was cold for only a moment before he reciprocated Mark’s warmth.

Mark tried to relax, and failing that miserably, attempted to be very still instead, which was not so hard since he did not need to breathe. The positioning was awkward, but moving would either move Mark further from Cassidy, or require him to more overtly hold him, neither of which he wanted to do. 

Some time passed, and then, without looking at him, Cassidy spoke in a neutral tone. “Is this comfortable for you?” 

“Um. N- I mean, uh, I don’t mind.” 

“Hm. Is this better?” Cassidy shifted both forward and then closer to Mark; he was now somewhat leaning into his shoulder, with Mark’s arm almost around him. Without saying anything, Mark then moved to change that ‘almost’ to an ‘actually.’

Cassidy’s head was now close enough to Mark’s where it was in his peripheral vision even if he looked at the screen. Both kindred made slight adjustments until they were quite comfortable. 

“Yeah, that’s better. Th-thanks.” 

Cassidy did not reply, seemingly focused on the movie. Eventually, he pulled his legs towards his chest, placed his notebook in his lap, and leaned fully into Mark, crossing his arms. It was quite comfortable, really. 

This meant Mark had to shift to look at him again, which he did, unable to suppress a smile. Cassidy was right there; Mark could not have told you what was happening in the movie. He gave in to a sudden urge to touch Cassidy’s hair; tucking it behind his head, smoothing a strand, while being careful to not actually touch his face. 

Cassidy was still at first, then leaned into him more, so his hair almost brushed Mark’s cheek. Mark wished he could see his face, even if he knew he likely wouldn’t be able to read his facial expression anyway. 

Soon, the end of the movie came. As “Where Is My Mind?” played over the end credits, neither kindred moved. When the song was ending, Cassidy reached for his notebook. 

Still being essentially held by Mark, he started their customary discussion of the movie. “I quite enjoyed that, though unfortunately I do think some cultural references may have been lost on me. If anything, I should study this film further. I am curious, were you able to predict the ending the first time you watched it?” 

~ 

The credits had long since finished rolling and Cassidy had run out of questions about the movie. Fight Club had been the only thing they had discussed, neither giving any acknowledgment of their intimate position. Once they both had stopped speaking, Mark was very conscious of himself and his movements, no longer occasionally playing with Cassidy’s hair. The pair was sitting still in silence, faced by only a blue screen. 

Mark mustered his courage to say something and turned to Cassidy’s head, who at the same time turned to face him. Cassidy’s face was illuminated by the bluescreen, and his eyes looked directly into Mark’s. Their faces were closer than they had been before, in heavy silence. 

“You look handsome in this light.” Mark managed to choke out just above a whisper. “Though, you always do.” 

Cassidy’s eyebrows furrowed in a look of surprise and almost disbelief; vulnerable. He opened his mouth as if he was about to respond, but instead turned and buried his face in Mark’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. Mark felt Cassidy’s glasses press into his shoulder as Cassidy essentially nuzzled into him. 

“Oh.” Mark found himself holding Cassidy and slowly rubbing his back, unsure if he should say something else. 

They sat like that for a minute before Cassidy pulled away and made eye contact with Mark once again. His face was composed, though his hair had gotten somewhat tangled, when he finally replied. “Mark, I share the sentiment. I.” He closed his eyes for a moment, apparently recomposing himself. “I appreciate you sharing that. You, ah, probably will not be surprised to hear that I am not very experienced in this.” 

“This?” Mark raised an eyebrow, slightly teasing. 

“You know.” Mark felt Cassidy’s arm strain for a moment as if to gesture before Cassidy realized it was pinned behind Mark’s back. “Um.” 

“Yes?” 

“Well, what would you call it?” Cassidy gave a surprisingly awkward smile, slightly showing teeth even, which Mark had only seen him do once before when he first offered him a TV. However, this smile looked more anxious than happy. 

“Wha- Cassidy. You’ve said it yourself that you’re not experienced in many things. How am I supposed to guess which you mean now?” Emboldened, he reached around to fix Cassidy’s hair. 

Wait, hang on, was he about to cry? Mark got a glimpse of Cassidy’s composure breaking once again before he quickly set his glasses aside, and returned to Mark’s shoulder, face hidden. It was more comfortable than before without the glasses digging into him. 

“Oh, um, it’s alright. It’s ok.” Mark tried to make his voice reassuring; he wasn’t sure exactly what was wrong but clearly Cassidy wanted comfort. He checked his watch as he went to start rubbing his back again. Good, it wasn’t even 11 yet. “I, I like what is happening right now, if you do too. We can just do this for a while.” 

Mark felt him nod and hold him more tightly. Resolving to go at Cassidy’s pace for the rest of the evening, he refrained from teasing him further and returned to stroking his hair. He really loved Cassidy’s hair. 

The room was quiet save for the low buzzing of the TV. Mark continued for several minutes before Cassidy sat up again. This time, he sat up a bit straighter, took Mark’s hands into his own, and looked down at them.

Cassidy took a long, slow breath, seemingly just to steady himself, and finally spoke. “What I mean to say is, I suppose, is that I am not used to…” he trailed off. “To any of this.” He closed his eyes as he took another breath he didn’t need, and continued. “I don’t know what I’m doing, so once again, I will follow your lead.” Cassidy slowly started to run his thumb across Mark’s knuckles, but stopped himself, as he waited for a reply. 

“Right. Uhm, this is nice. But we should be clear on where we uh, stand.” Mark cleared his throat, prompting Cassidy to look up. Mark wasn’t used to seeing him without his glasses, nor Cassidy looking so wistful, or maybe worried, or maybe even hopeful - he had managed a trace of a smile. He stumbled over his words. “Uhm, right. Cassidy, I, well, I am, glad that I’ve met you and that we can spend time together. I uh, I like you. I’m romantically interested in you, is what I mean. Which I’m sure you can tell. God.” Mark’s voice lowered. “You know, it’s hard to confess when you’re looking at me like that.” 

Cassidy said “oh” in a very soft voice. He swallowed, but managed to maintain eye contact after a quick glance down at Mark’s lips. “I feel the same.” 

The two just looked at each other for a few moments, before Cassidy continued. “What now?”

“Whatever we want. I can stay for longer.” He started moving closer to Cassidy’s face as he whispered, “a lot longer.” 

Cassidy tilted his head and closed his eyes.

Mark felt his nose brush Cassidy’s own, and shifted to meet his lips. He started kissing him slowly, and was able to tell that Cassidy was mirroring his own movements - following his lead. Mark held Cassidy’s head with one hand and his waist with the other to shift him to a better angle; Cassidy similarly held Mark, though did not change his position. 

Mark enjoyed being able to almost teach Cassidy, in a way - the thought that this may be Cassidy’s first kiss, or perhaps first kiss with a man, or at the very least his first kiss in decades, rang in Mark’s head and he did everything he could to make it a good one, while not going too far. He kept his mouth mostly closed, only using hints of tongue. 

Cassidy whimpered softly, very nearly overwhelmed but not quite. 

Mark smiled as he kept going, maintaining the same mild intensity, holding Cassidy close, enjoying the feel of his lips and shy reciprocation of everything Mark did. This was his first time kissing anyone since his embrace, and it felt odd that his breathing remained steady despite his intense nerves. God, he couldn’t believe this was really happening. 

He pulled away briefly to look at Cassidy. He looked beautiful, staring up at him. 

After only a moment though, when Mark leaned in for another kiss, Cassidy leaned away. Seeing Mark’s look of concern, he took a breath and spoke. “That was wonderful, Mark.” Cassidy’s voice was full of emotion for a moment, making Mark’s heart hurt, before shifting to his moderate tone. “However, it’s… not something I’m used to. I need some time. As always though, I enjoy our time together, and I am sure I will even more in the future.” He stood up, and waited for Mark to follow him towards the door.

“Ah, what? Um, I mean. Ok.” Mark was not able to hide neither the surprise nor disappointment from his voice. “We- we can go slow I guess. We have eternity, after all.” 

“Indeed. I will see you soon, before I return to a formal schedule, hopefully.” He held the door open for Mark. 

“Right, uh, I will see you soon.” Mark paused in the door. “Goodbye?” He gave an awkward wave.

“Have a good evening, Mark.” Cassidy’s face was a mask.

~ 

It was very awkward leaving Cassidy’s haven. Sure, it had been awkward in the past, but it was different this time - Mark wasn’t sure why Cassidy wanted him to leave so early, even though they just admitted feelings for each other, and even kissed. Why did eternity have to wait? Why did Cassidy have to be so formal, after all of that? 

The walk up the stairs back from the chantry entrance felt like it took hours. 

Bonus:

Cassidy closed the door after Mark’s final wave goodbye. He stayed there for a moment, resting his head against the door, leaving his hand on the handle. 

Looking at his hand, Cassidy thought about how it had looked holding Mark’s. It was something he had only been able to imagine; now, it was something he could remember. He kept thinking about the sensation of Mark’s lips on his own, how his facial hair felt against his own face. The warmth of another pressed up against him - how badly he had craved that and how it was just as good as he half-remembered from over a century ago. 

Speaking of, he should write all this down. 

That thought brought him back to reality. 

The notebook was left abandoned on the couch; his attention had focused elsewhere and it had been left half open. This negligence concerned Cassidy. Even if it was in code, in the privacy of his own haven, on principle it should never be open and visible to others. 

Looking at it, Cassidy knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from crying for much longer. He quickly took the notebook and retreated into his private study, so that if Lillian got back early (against his wishes) she would not see him. 

Cassidy grabbed a cloth he normally used for cleaning and slumped into his new armchair. He missed his old one, but that had been destroyed when Lillian’s chimera got out of control. 

Now it was safe for Cassidy to let himself break. 

He started smiling and crying at the same time. The tears welled slowly, and Cassidy wiped his face deliberately each time; he knew it was healthy to cry, but it still did not come easily. He hadn’t wanted Mark to leave, though he was more patient than the fledgling and didn’t mind waiting to spend more time with him. But he could not cry in front of Mark, however, he could not have stopped himself from doing so much longer. 

He should have predicted this would happen. Perhaps he could have prepared himself better, or asked Mark to go slower, so he could keep his composure. Too late now.  

Steadying himself enough to write, he took out his pen and began recording, in his customary way, what had happened. The familiarity of it was calming. 

What did Mark say, exactly? ‘I’m romantically interested in you’, or something? 

Of course he would phrase it like that.