#ugh but if i make the call i can reward myself by buying an avatar base I've been wanting

[paradoxical-machine]

Ugh I have to make a phone call

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #285

"do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?”

What does your car smell like? You assume I have a car. Would you ever let anybody else drive your car? ^ Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yes, Sara. I want to visit her again, but right now I have no clue when that will happen. I have another friend that wants me to shoot her wedding that was planned for this year, but it was delayed to an unknown date, so. What was the last thing you used a blender for? A margarita. Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about? Yep. There's been a couple. Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal? Yes. Mom and I aren't coming while Ashley's inlaws are there at her house, and then I think we're going to my other sister's since she wants to cook? I've only really overheard Mom over the phone, I'm not 100%. I'm just. Going with it. What’s your favourite flavor of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake? Probably red velvet, or just double chocolate. I dunno. I love cake. I don't cook, though. Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules? Well, you're SUPPOSED to wear a fucking mask, but "it's a hoax" and "you can't make me" fuckheads don't listen, and it's poorly-enforced. You see people without them all the time. Do you still watch cartoons? I'm not opposed, I just don't watch television. Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to? No. Do you use Pinterest? Ha, I get most of my (unedited) avatars from there. It also gives me some pose ideas for photography. Are you wearing earrings? Ugh, no. I absolutely hate how the first holes stretched from heavy earrings. I need to get a proper tapering set if I want to actually use gauges (mind you, very small) so they look even semi-good again. I don't wear any in the second/upper holes because I think it just looks weird with nothing in the first. Do you know any sign language? Not anymore. In elementary school, we did do a play however where in one of the songs, we signed the lyrics. I remember zero. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Which breed of dog do you find most scary? None. Ever been to a pottery class? Not particularly, no. I've made pottery in normal art classes multiple times, though. When you were young, did you ever pretend to “marry” somebody? I have no idea. I don't have a specific memory. Don’t you just find it annoying when people get too much plastic surgery? Oh, fuck off. Is it your body? Is it there to boost YOUR confidence? Then your opinion doesn't fuckin matter. Are you the type who usually plays it safe? Yep. Who do you think about most? It's certainly not willingly, but Jason. PTSD kinda engraved his presence in my brain. How’s your grandmother? Both are dead. What’s your favourite type of cloud? Big, tall, and poofy cumulonimbus ones. Do you have a birthmark? Where? Does it look like anything? Yeah, a slightly darker brown blotch on the side of my right forearm, near the elbow. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Probably people smiling. My nieces' and nephew's came to mind first. What is your most disappointing moment in life? I've been living it for years now. I'm not who I wanted or thought I would be at all. What is the best reward anyone can give you? Validation lmao. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Meerkats, always. God, I can barely boil it down to three words. Loyal, complex, and brave will have to do. What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Pink. Soft, pretty, gentle. What do you consider to be the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? As a child, my big plastic crocodile named Marlin (yes, after the Finding Nemo character) that was the "main character" in my games of make-believe. As a teen, probably Rebel, the stuffed meerkat Jason gave me. Now, it's absolutely the pebble I got upon "graduation" from my partial hospitalization program. What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? I'm not sure; I've seen a good deal. Thinking of only the ones I've seen in-person, uhhhh... wait. A couple days before my overdose, in desperation, I called Jason's house in the middle of the night wanting to talk to him. His mom answered, and she talked to me for hours with such patience and kindness to try and calm me down. I miss her a lot. Is Frozen one of your favorite Disney movies? No, I never really liked it. If you were an explorer, would you rather explore the Arctic Circle, Antarctica, or Alaska? Ohhh, Alaska. It's gorgeous and at least not absolutely frigid everywhere. How many blankets do you sleep with in the winter? I usually just have my usual thick comforter, but if I'm seriously cold, I'll grab another smaller one to wrap myself in underneath the big one. Do you know of anyone who was in labor or gave birth to a baby during a major snowstorm? HAHA my mama w/ me. Do you enjoy eggnog during the winter - with or without alcohol? EW. Do you dress any of your pets in seasonal/holiday apparel? No; I really dislike the concept of dressing your animals unless it's truly for their own benefit/warmth. Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it? Uhhhhh. I have no idea. Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook? NOOOOOOO. When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? Ugh, my laptop is fucked up. It's either the charger port, charger itself, or Mom thinks perhaps the battery. Her friend's husband is gonna look at it after Christmas. Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain? For once my legs aren't hurting. They almost always do from either muscle atrophy or them having been still for too long. The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? It was just a normal 'ole peanut butter sandwich. What’s your favorite time of day? What’s your favorite thing to do at that time? First thing in the morning, because it feels like a new start. I like watching the sky change from pinkish to blue while I'm just sitting in bed checking everything. Where did you go the last time you left your house? I rode with Mom to her doctor's appointment. I didn't go in w/ her for obvious reasons, I just wanted to go on a ride and listen to music. If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it? It has to be medium well. Idk what sauces are cooked into it that I like, because I don't make it. I like fries with steak, and probably Sara's mom's mashed potatoes would go well, haha. Do you prefer sweet or savory pancakes? What toppings do you have on them? I can't imagine me liking savory pancakes... I just like the usual: butter (not mandatory tho) and syrup. Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO, I HATE THE NOISE SO MUCH. My lower spine pops a lot, though. Some fingers occasionally, too. Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? Is this something you do on a regular basis? Yeah, I was taking Melatonin to fight insomnia for quite a while. I only stopped it because my mom was theorizing that it may have been making my nightmares worse, because her dad had AWFUL nightmares on it. I don't know if it did or didn't foor me, honestly. For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight? Knowing in the back of my mind that despite my hope, today's going to be the same as yesterday. I dread most nights the process of lying down and actually falling asleep, because it can take hours. Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Not only do I think diet sodas taste bad, but the artificial sweetener gives me awful headaches, anyway. What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day? I'm only always in my pjs. When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser? Ugh... it's been a very, very long time. It was done by a hairdresser, but per usual, the color didn't stick well. I am DYING to bleach my hair so I can dye it pastel pink, light silver, or like a creamsicle orange. I edited some pictures of myself to "try" these colors on, and omg I loved them all. Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it? Not really, no. I barely go anywhere at all though, so I have Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? Yes; yes; no. How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read? VERY few. I've only just gotten back into semi-regularly reading since Sara got me into Wings of Fire. I have one friend though that is an INCREDIBLE bookworm; she keeps track of how many books she's read in a year, and she's already beyond one a day. It's incredible. If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? Roman came from Ashley's inlaws'. They have like an infestation of cats needing to be spayed, so they didn't at all mind letting me have one because I'd been wanting a cat for a long time. I love my baby boy so much. Venus came from The Gourmet Rodent, a snake breeding (and F/T rat provider, as the name suggests) business from Florida. I highly recommend them. Their customer service was fantastic when I was worried about Venus not eating. They even checked up with me a few months following my emails to ensure she was doing well. Have you ever seen an episode of My 600lb Life? No. I absolutely NEVER could. As an obese person who's been fighting her fucking ass off to lose weight for years, I don't want to be further depressed. Do you feel bad when someone asks you to hang out and you say no? Oh yes I do. Ngl, if I don't want to hang for whatever reason, I'm the kind that makes up an excuse to not seem *as* "rude" (quotations bc it's technically not rude at all, anxiety just tells me it is). When was the last time you turned down plans with someone? What did you decide to do instead? Ummmm I'm not sure. Have you ever had any “unusual” or exotic pets? If you could own any animal, what would it be and why? Do you consider iguanas or Chinese water dragons as "exotic/unusual?" Nothing stranger than that, really. I would never, ever own a truly exotic animal that wouldn't do well in captivity. I do however pretty desperately want to rescue an opposum one day, though. I positively adore them; they're my second-favorite animal. How often do you wash your hair? I don't even have a regular schedule for that anymore, honestly... I have to every time I shower because my hair gets oily FAST, but I try to put off showers as long as I can handle now because of how bad my selfcare has been for multiple reasons... What have you found the hardest about the current pandemic? Not seeing an end in sight because people are fucking dumb. Shit's not going to get better unless things drastically change. And what about the easiest? Has anything improved in your life because of what’s happened? Certainly nothing has improved. Not much has changed for me, considering I barely ever left the house to begin with. If you have multiple pets, do they get along with each other? Are they related or even the same species? They ignore each other, really. Surprisingly, even. Roman will sit on my bed and watch Venus slither about occasionally if she's out, even meerkat pose haha, and playful as he is, it's unexpected that he *does* mostly ignore her. What was the last meal you ate? Did you have anything good? Breakfast; I had Special K cereal. I've finally started to get back on track with eating okay. Do you live somewhere where strangers say hi to you in the street? Would you like to live somewhere like that? Where we live now, if you pass someone outside in the car, it's normal and really expected to give a little wave. That's very normal here in the South though, really; you don't just have to be in your own neighborhood. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? The chocolate Equate ones are normal in my diet, actually. They're really not bad at all and played a big role in me losing ~60lbs before. Funnily enough, I haven't found a popular name brand I like, though. Cheap stuff isn't always bad. Do you make up silly nicknames for your pets or family members? "Silly" ones, not really, besides Roman. I call him "weirdo" and "crazy" a lot, but nothing truly unique. What’s your favorite thing to take photographs of? Are you actually any good at photography? Nature or boudoir (only shot it once, but I love it and the confidence it gives people). Being as modest as possible, I honestly do think I'm pretty good at it. Do you have anything interesting planned for the rest of the day? How about for tomorrow or the weekend? I haven't had anything interesting planned in eons, it seems like. Are you going to take the vaccine for COVID once it becomes available? Once it proves to be reliable and safe, hell yes. I'm doing my goddamn part in ending this shit. How much housework have you done lately? Is this more or less than usual? A bit more than usual since I haven't finished decorating my room since moving... I've been doing it very slowly and gradually. I need to just finish it already, I'm just so unmotivated. What gifts are you hoping to get for your next birthday (or Christmas, whichever one is coming up next)? I'm fucking dying to get my tat redone/improved. Been waiting since LAST Christmas when I didn't get to use my own gifted money. Do you suffer from any form of motion sickness? No. Do you contribute regularly to any Facebook groups at all? "I’m a member of plenty, but hardly ever post." <<<< Same. I react to posts a lot, though. Just don't really make my own. When was the last time you weighed yourself? Were you happy with the numbers you saw? Ugh... when I went to the doctor I think last week. I knew it'd be bad, but the verification fucking sucked. Since moving, I've gained ~30lbs. Have you got any chronic health issues? What do you do to try and manage them as best you can? YIKES I am a CATASTROPHE. I've got a dictionary of mental health issues that I'm not gonna go through individually, but I deal with them via prescription medications and therapy and sheer will. Who taught you how to drive? My driver's ed teacher. It was mandatory in HS. What was your high school mascot? A firebird. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. What did you do after graduation? I very briefly went to a community college. What was your first job? GameStop sales associate. If my social anxiety wasn't fucking shit, I probably would have liked it. What did you want to be when you grew up? Somewhat in order: paleontologist, vet, movie director, game designer, animal biologist, video editor (VERY brief), and photographer. Writer, poet, and artist were always something I wanted to do in my free time OR full time if I was lucky. Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? I've never tried beer and don't want to. It smells fucking awful, and because my dad is a recovered alcoholic who was addicted to that in specific, I just want nothing to do with it. Did you ever try cigarettes? No. I have absolutely never understood the appeal, but with a very addictive personality and wild anxiety, I never wanted to risk it, anyway. How did you spend your summers growing up? LOADS of swimming in the pool, jumping on the trampoline, and just playing outside in general. If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? I'd absolutely change how I found happiness only in Jason. Do you remember your first time? No, because at that time, I didn't really realize it was sex. I know that sounds weird, like "how would you not know?", but just trust me. I don't feel like retrospecting on it. I do remember our first *kiss*-kiss, though. How much did you make per hour at your first job? I don't recall. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? I looooved spaghetti. Favorite place to eat out growing up? McDonald's, duh, lol. Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No. They were from different states, though. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? Don't like coffee. Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No. How often do you paint your nails? Never. Do you know anyone who's related to a current or former world leader? Not that I know of. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't pay taxes because I'm unemployed. What is something you don't have any natural talent for? Speaking. At all. What is something you frequently forget? "Numbers." <<<< BIG fat same. How do you feel about your body? How much I hate it is on my mind literally every waking moment of my life to some degree. Who is someone you would like to get to know better? So I have this Facebook friend Courtlynn who seems very similar to me, and I'd love to get to know her better. We interact via posts here and there, but have never seriously talked. What's your opinion on assisted suicide? I am very much for it when a person is in serious pain and recovery is not possible. Like one of my greatest nightmares is being paralyzed from the neck down, and I stg I would spite whichever fucker had jurisdiction over me living. That would be absolute torture for me. At what point do you consider a relationship to be "long-term?" A year, so long as you were consistently together. Stable. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? My dad's been a mailman my entire life, and he had a second job at Lowe's for a while as a carpenter. He hated it. Mom worked with computer data at the hospital when I was very young, and then she was an assitant and special needs teacher for a long time. Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? ^ about Dad. It's his only job now. Mom is currently on disability. Do you have a cell contract plan, or are you on a pre-paid plan? Would you believe me if I said I'm unsure? Haha. I use a Tracfone, and my mom takes care of whatever plan comes with that, so idk. Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? Mom, absolutely. I'm unsure about Dad. I mean he wouldn't *seriously* care so long as they were good to me, but I think he might still be kinda racist. Or he just jokes about it a lot (which should not be joked about, btw). Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? "No way lol. I’m very much of a loner and want to be “prepared” to spend time with people." <<<< Absolutely this. How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? I love her very, very much. What was the last thing someone else bought for you? Food, I'm sure. Are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? I haven't seen a picture of her in years, so I have no idea. I remember she was beautiful, though. Is music a daily part of your life? Not daily, no. Some days I only watch YT videos instead of listen to music. What do you think of country music? Not a fan at all. It's ironic considering it was my favorite genre as a little kid. There's the occasional country song I like (mostly ones from my childhood, though), but those are few and far between. Tim McGraw, now, I love. Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yeah, even though I didn't want to. I didn't care enough about the actual ceremony. Who was the last person to message you on Facebook? What would you do if that person told you they have feelings for you? That would be the woman I took family pictures for. She's married and we barely know each other, so I can assure you she doesn't. When you apply your make-up, do you do it in a specific order? On the very rare occasion I wore makeup, yes. Eyeliner, usually eyeshadow, mascara, and most rarely, black lipstick. Does it matter to you if your significant other smokes? Yes. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Mom, I think. Do you like where you are in life right now? HA. Is your mom overbearing? No.

[seyaryminamoto]

Yeah why does Zuko treat his sister like that when his entire character and development revolves around him learning compassion and sympathy?

Because that’s what his entire character and development SHOULD revolve around, what most people think they revolve around… but it’s actually not the case.

There are many instances where the show tries to press on that Zuko has become a kind and compassionate man, and those instances are mainly dialogues and quotes. I’ll list several ones that the fandom seems to cry about back and forth, and then we’ll break everything down bit by bit, so I can explain why I think Zuko’s development isn’t about any of these things…

Examples: The Guru

“It’s a new day. We’ve got a new apartment, new furniture, and today’s the grand opening of your new tea shop. Things are looking up, Uncle.”_____________Iroh: “Who thought when we came to this city as refugees, that I’d end up owning my own tea shop? Follow your passion, Zuko, and life will reward you.”Zuko: “Congratulations, Uncle.”Iroh: “I am very thankful.”Zuko: “You deserve it. The Jasmine Dragon will be the best tea shop in the city.”Iroh: “No. I’m thankful because you decided to share this special day with me. It means more than you know.”Zuko: “Now let’s make these people some tea!” Iroh: “Yes, let’s make some tea!”

Day of Black Sun Part 2.

“No, I’ve learned everything! And I’ve had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don’t see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We’ve created an era of fear in the world. And if we don’t want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.” 

Ember Island Players

Toph: “Geez, everyone’s getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that’s saying something!”Zuko: “You don’t get it, it’s different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.”Toph: “Yeah, that’s pretty great!”Zuko: “But for me, it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he’s always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It’s my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”Toph: “You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don’t realize it, but you already have.”Zuko: “How do you know?”Toph: “Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you.”Zuko: “Really?”Toph: “Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.”Zuko: “Oh, sorry.”Toph: “But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you’re here with us. He’d be proud.”

Sozin’s Comet: The Old Masters

Zuko: “Uncle, I know you must have mixed feelings about seeing me. But I want you to know, I am so, so, sorry, Uncle. I am so sorry and ashamed of what I did. I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you. But I’ll-… How can you forgive me so easily? I thought you would be furious with me.”Iroh: “I was never angry with you. I was sad because I was afraid you lost your way.”Zuko: “I did lose my way.”Iroh: “But you found it again. And you did it by yourself. And I am so happy you found your way here.”

There’s even a hilarious thing going around in a popular post these days, about his “Father Lord” slip of tongue, interpreting that as Zuko being so aware of the fact that it’s his FATHER who has to be defeated/die… while of course, ignoring the rest of the context. Just the kind of posts I love, as you’ll imagine.

Anyways, with these quotes in mind… what is the main takeaway the general public gets? That Zuko learned kindness! That Zuko learned the Fire Nation was wrong! 

And now I ask… if he learned it all, as apparently he did, where’s the proof of it in his actions? When does Zuko show genuine kindness and empathy towards other characters and people, post-redemption?

First of all, the Guru gives us the creepy Zuko who’s happy and chill after getting out of his emo coma. What bothers me about Zuko in these episodes is that his transformation doesn’t feel genuine to me AT ALL. Zuko made the right decision, he let Appa go, after Iroh encouraged him and told him to do that. But reasonably speaking, did he really understand what Iroh was telling him? Iroh scolds him for not thinking things through, and tells him that it’s time for him to think about what he wants, and who he wants to be, basically. Zuko’s answer to that is letting Appa go, and then fainting, and then coming back to life as a happy boy. Which… eh? He should have changed, no doubt, after this experience… but to this extreme? And this fast?

The reason it feels fake is because you can’t really see him pondering Iroh’s words properly. He had a bunch of nightmares and even then we have no idea if he learned anything from them. If there was any reflection on his part over what he was experiencing. Where he SHOULD HAVE asked Iroh for advice, where he should have taken his seat and sipped his tea while asking Iroh about his own experiences, hoping to unravel what his own path should be… Zuko just got happy. That’s that. That’s how he learned kindness and empathy and sympathy and all that. So he becomes a very supportive nephew, but Iroh doesn’t really understand where that came from, and from the looks of it, neither does Zuko because as soon as the stakes are high again, what did he do? Pick his old life over the new. And that, again, reinforces my interpretation that his “change” was him trying to behave the way Iroh would approve of, rather than him actually trying to understand ANYTHING from Iroh’s words in lake Laogai. Rather than him learning a single thing about kindness and peace and good will towards men.

Second, DOBS Part 2. Zuko gives Ozai a funny speech about how they’ve been indoctrinated in the Fire Nation to believe they’re great and spreading greatness through the war. What an amazing lie it was, he says. A lie he believed in and fought for, directly, during at least 3 years. Yet also a lie he set aside for his own benefit, whenever he so wished (see the Blue Spirit, for instance). A lie he apparently stopped believing in when Azula shows up to drag him home as a prisoner. He cuts his hair and discards his ties to his nation…

… And yet still tries to fight Aang in the Chase. Because he’s got to get the Avatar, despite he knows the Fire Nation has listed him as a wanted criminal.

And he still tries to use Appa to bring Aang to him in Lake Laogai, because this way he’s going to get the Avatar for real and still go back to the horrible nation that issued out a wanted poster for him.

When you look back, all the way to episode 3?

“If my father thinks the rest of the world will follow him willingly, then he is a fool!”

Point and case being: Zuko, for one thing, wasn’t as blind to Ozai’s war at every point in the show as most people would have you believe. If he was aware of how Ozai wasn’t going to get the world to follow him, to the point of calling his terrifying father A FOOL??? Then clearly Zuko didn’t buy into the propaganda entirely. His actions during the war are NOT for the Fire Nation’s sake, or for his father’s sake, but for the sake of going home already and putting an end to his banishment once and for all. Nothing in the entire show has ever lead me to think otherwise, and I know for a fact that I’m not the only person who sees it this way. So Zuko didn’t really care about the lies and the greatness: it was NEVER what guided his actions, because what he truly wanted was to stop being banished.

So, now that the whole lie thing is out of the way, he tells Ozai that the rest of the world hates them! And yes, they do! He sees that for himself in Zuko Alone… you know, that episode that comes after he’s been out there, stealing from Earth Kingdom people, OUT OF A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT. So sorry, I will always bring this up because Zuko NEVER owned up to this and I have no reason to believe he even regretted it. So… ugh. Anyways, point being that Zuko is telling Ozai all about how the Fire Nation deserve the Earth Kingdom’s hatred… which of course, Ozai knows. He’s not THAT stupid, he just doesn’t give a crap about being despised xD But the thing is… Zuko talks about this like he’s seen the world, like he’s watched how Fire Nation people treat Earth Kingdom people horribly, like he’s learned how messed up his own people can be. 

But…  when did we see Zuko standing up to Fire Nation people who were oppressing Earth Kingdom ones?

The answer is a grand total of zero times. Zuko stands up to a group of Earth Kingdom bullies who are harassing other Earth Kingdom people, and then after revealing who he is, he discovers they hate him even more than they hate the bullies. Zuko also helps Jet steal food on their ferry ride to Ba Sing Se, but who’s he stealing it from? Earth Kingdom people who are oppressing Earth Kingdom people. Zuko didn’t actually see how the Earth Kingdom people hated the Fire Nation, he saw how the Earth Kingdom people hated HIM, all through Books 1 and 2. 

Now, why did Zuko help the people he helped? The bullies bothering Lee’s town had bothered Zuko too, the people hoarding food bothered him as well because he was eating crap while the good stuff was kept elsewhere. Zuko NEVER acted the way Aang did, spontaneously deciding to help the oppressed and downtrodden who needed help out of the good will of his heart. Nope, Zuko worked with others when it was convenient, most of all. Lee only gets Zuko to stay after the bully soldiers steal Zuko’s food, convincing him when he offers to feed Zuko’s ostrich horse at his house. Without that offer, Zuko would have just left and done nothing for these people.

In short, Zuko apparently learned that the Fire Nation is despised… when, as I said, going by his experiences, the one he should have learned was despised was HIM. He’s holding the Fire Nation as a whole responsible for his actions, for his wrongdoings, for everything bad he ever did in the Earth Kingdom. I repeat, the only time Zuko saw Earth Kingdom vs. Fire Nation in the flesh was when it was Earth Kingdom people mad at him for whatever he was doing, be it setting their villages on fire, stealing their food or treating them like lesser than him. The only exception I can think of is when the Earth Kingdom soldiers captured Iroh, and what happened there? Zuko and Iroh fought them, didn’t even reflect on how rightful or not these people were to pick a fight with them, and moved on. That simple.

We never get to see Zuko reflecting on how the Fire Nation has harmed these people so badly. We don’t get him reflecting on his own faults and mistakes often, but he certainly never seems to give much thought to how messed up things are and how the Fire Nation has no right to destroy everyone else. His showdown with Ozai, so very awaited by so many people? It, again, feels forced and hard to believe. It comes after we’ve seen Zuko talking to Mai about how he was his father’s perfect son but then he wasn’t HIM… and aside from that? What else did we have throughout the first half of season 3 to show us why Zuko is seeing the world differently than how he saw it before? He heard a story about his ancestors and was told he had good and bad inside him? Well, gee, that didn’t stop him from displaying his entitled side again by boasting to Mai that he can make anything she wants happen because he’s a prince, only a couple of episodes later. It didn’t stop him from wanting to be part of a war meeting desperately, with the attitude of a tantrum-throwing child.

There are SO MANY CHANCES the third season could have taken to portray a Zuko who ponders things, who pays attention to the world around him and realizes that he’s part of the Fire Nation, that he wants to respect everyone different from him too, that he doesn’t care about nation division but about doing what’s right by the world. Instead, he’s out there sending murderous cyborgs to kill the Avatar, he’s yelling at his imprisoned uncle, he goes to the beach and just picks fights both with his friends and with complete strangers, and throws more temper tantrums than anyone ever should.

And that brings up the really essential question: where, in all three seasons, did Zuko learn that peace and kindness were the answer? He says as much to Ozai, no doubt. But HOW is this his conclusion? Why would Zuko think that everyone should be kind and get along when the first person who always jumps into violence/conflict mode is him?

His field trips do nothing to prove he actually changed in this way, if you think about it:

Aang’s field trip: Zuko is aggressive and angry over losing his bending. He’s not very kind and peaceful about it, as far as I can remember. When they reach the Sun Warriors’ place, he’s clever for 10 seconds and stupid right after again, and when told that they have to be deemed worthy by Ran and Shaw? His immediate response to Aang’s doubts and uncertainties is “Well, we’re the Fire Prince and the Avatar. I think we could take these guys in a fight, whoever they are”. Again, responding with violence to a situation that he didn’t even know understand fully. What’s Zuko’s instinctive response to everything? Violence!

Sokka’s field trip: Zuko may know a thing or two about political prisoners, who knows, I certainly don’t know because the show never touched this subject. Tyrants like Ozai can and will imprison people who don’t deserve to be in jail… but as far as we saw? That might not have been the case in the Boiling Rock. We learn no stories of any of the people in this prison. We don’t have any clue about who they are. We don’t know if they deserve to be in there or not. But Zuko not only agrees to help Sokka break out his dad and girlfriend… he also agrees to helping Chit Sang, a complete stranger, who may just be hella dangerous for all they know (the wikia claims he’s been accused for murder and he says it’s not true: if he’s lying that means Zuko helped release a murderer from prison!). While the Boiling Rock is Zuko’s best field trip by far, it still makes you wonder if he gives his actions proper thought. Does he really want to release Fire Nation prisoners without knowing who they are or what they did to end up in there? How does this count as “peace” and “kindness”? Granted, the kind part is letting the guy go, sure, and what about the part where, if he were a murderer indeed, he might just go out there and kill again? How is that still kind, still peaceful?

Katara’s field trip: I barely even need to talk about this because Zuko absolutely condones Katara killing Fire Nation soldiers, who are/were acting UNDER ORDERS OF THEIR SUPERIORS, all because he wants to be her friend. Zuko, Mr. I’m-going-to-be-the-Fire-Lord-of-peace-and-kindness, standing by and even encouraging a girl who’s mad with grief and who wants revenge for her mother’s death, regardless of the cost. Again… is this Zuko’s peaceful doctrine? What sort of kindness do these actions reflect? When Aang says they shouldn’t do this, Zuko SCOFFS, he MOCKS him… and yet six episodes ago he was rambling about peace and kindness to his father, who of course, LAUGHED IN HIS FACE THE SAME WAY ZUKO WAS LAUGHING IN AANG’S FACE NOW…?

My point… Zuko learned some very pretty words that he can’t seem to put into actions. Heck, who knows if he even understands their meaning. But maybe what he meant was that everyone else should be kind and everyone else should be peaceful, and only when they all are nice and peaceful will he become nice and peaceful too. Maybe.

Carrying on after his speech to Ozai, though: as usual, his conversation with Toph only strengthens my belief that his development was about becoming exactly what Iroh wanted him to be rather than growing on his own and genuinely learning to better himself for his own sake. He says that the play rubs his worst mistakes in his face: what did the play show him doing? Yelling at Iroh, sending Iroh away, and I suppose having a weird affair with Katara (is this somehow implying that having a moment with Katara was one of his worst mistakes? Well, okay then, Zuko… x’D)? I can’t remember the play portraying anything else. Oh, well, growing out his hair. I guess he didn’t like his hair much either. Ah, and breaking Aang out of prison, I’m guessing he’s really sorry for that now, for… some reason?

Point is… the play didn’t show a Zuko who was hurting strangers, the way he often did in Book 1. It didn’t show a Zuko who was treating Earth Kingdom people like they owed him stuff just because he was Fire Nation royal, as he did in Book 2. We were shown a Zuko who, above all else, was mean to Iroh: THAT is his biggest mistake. Or so he believes. His remorse, his guilt? It’s all about Iroh. And that he’s acting the way Iroh expects of him is what makes him a worthwhile person now, basically. Instead of Zuko questioning what deserves to be questioned, we get a Zuko who adopts Iroh’s beliefs blindly, and who doesn’t even act on them entirely. He just tries to talk the way Iroh would, but as I said above? His answer to every problem is STILL violence. He STILL doesn’t think things through, he may have set a murderer loose in the Fire Nation on his trip to get out of prison, he thinks murder is fine and dandy in general… but because he will recite Iroh’s creed he’s somehow all good now?

And when Iroh takes him back, everyone’s happy, everyone’s moved, that’s what he deserves! Well, no doubt Iroh was going to accept him as he did, why wouldn’t he? Zuko modeled himself after his uncle, entirely. He wants to be Iroh 2.0, and he’ll do whatever he has to do to earn his approval. 

But being Iroh 2.0 doesn’t mean having mercy for everyone, it doesn’t mean believing in peace and kindness as the answers to every ordeal. No, it means stopping the war, at any cost, and by doing whatever needs to be done. And that would be fine, but it also means that BOTH Iroh and Zuko don’t care, ultimately, if their other relatives live or die. Iroh never suggested Aang could find another way to defeat Ozai other than killing him, meaning he probably didn’t think there was another one and, meaning, he didn’t care that his brother had to die. He must have seen it as a necessity. Likewise, Zuko sees his sister unhinged and broken, and his reaction is simply to take advantage of her loss of sanity, and after her defeat, to stand by watching her writhing on the ground. Iroh has already told him Azula needs to go down, and that he shouldn’t get along with her. So he doesn’t even try. He doesn’t really need to freak out about whatever his sister’s future will be, because as long as she’s not standing between himself and the throne, he can easily just discard her.

I brought up that I found that “Father Lord” interpretation ridiculous to no end, but I’ll expand on why now: Zuko isn’t “painfully aware” of the fact that it’s his father who has to die. He’s not shown hesitating, instead, he’s shown hoping Aang can get it done, basically. Zuko isn’t particularly worried about Ozai’s fate, and it shows not only an episode before, where he’s actively scolding Aang for trying to find a solution other than murder. And it shows, again, in the finale when he confronts Ozai in his prison cell by telling him: 

“You should count yourself lucky that the Avatar spared your life.”

Does this SERIOUSLY sound to anyone like a guy who was conflicted and sad that his father had to die? I can’t see it. I really can’t. If he was worried about Ozai, if he felt bad about his potential death? That feeling was buried SO DEEP that Zuko wasn’t even conscious of it. And as a reminder.. he has accepted Iroh as his actual father. He outright tells Ozai that Iroh is the one who was a real father to him. So… I don’t know if he’s really that conflicted about Ozai dying. Not when the person who’s most eager in the show to get Aang to kill Ozai is Zuko.

… Anyways.

In short, Zuko’s story was not about kindness, despite what the show would want everyone to believe. Zuko has ALWAYS suffered from a severe disconnection between his actions and his words. It’s something many people have criticized about his character before, and this ask really just ended up turning into a criticism about that, too. Zuko can talk about goodness and honor and kindness and peace all he wants, but when he stands watching his broken sister, with a look on his face that suggests Katara is more affected by Azula’s broken display than he is? You get the feeling he’s really just all talk. That a guy who preaches peace and then goes out to help his new best friend on her vengeful killer spree actually doesn’t care about peace or kindness unless it’s convenient to bring it up. Sure, he poured tea for people once in a while. Sure, he has taken up Iroh’s example and he may become an even better person in the future.

But the Zuko we saw in the show? He’s not changed nearly as much as people want to think he has. His redemption was supposed to be about how he learned better, how he became a good person, and how he’s the ideal Fire Lord for a Fire Nation headed for peace: do excuse me for questioning that, considering that the comics got their start with a trilogy where Zuko was charging against the Earth Kingdom all over again, as if his speech to Ozai had been hollow because here we are again, Fire Nation vs. Earth Kingdom. Who learned anything from the 100 Year War? Not Zuko!

All talk about Zuko’s kindness and good heart isn’t completely unfounded, but the show never developed his best traits the way it was supposed to. And the thousands of times where he shows no kindness, no mercy, where he chooses violence over peace, speak much louder than the handful of times where he decided to do the right thing, for a change. Especially when the merciless, violent stuff happens after he’s supposed to be all redeemed. Zuko’s growth was nowhere near as brilliantly executed as so many people would like to believe. Switching sides while barely changing your behavior and responses to situations is merely switching sides. It’s not a full-blown redemption, let alone is it one based on how compassionate and nice he’s become.