#ugh but i don't wannaaaa

[bill-gates-hate-blog]

definitely not my best work but i can forgive myself after being away from my drawing tablet for so long

[doyouknowwhoyouare13]

I don't wanna do what I have to do today

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

I meant to do my Christmas cleaning tomorrow but of course today is -14° (6.8F) and tomorrow it's going to rain, so I guess I'm defrosting my freezer today and snow washing my wool mat, and also I might as well deep clean the bathroom while I'm at it.

[navibluebees]

I love your writing for zdog could u write one about her and reader where she falls for reader who is the new recom plz

Of course, lil anonie! Thank you for requesting. 🫶🏻 Also, this kind of skips forward for a varying amount of time between each section, I hope the format is easy to read. In my head, it takes place over a couple of months~

Please read before interacting.

Your eyes slowly blinked open, head pounding and shying away from the bright lights. Shielding your eyes a bit more with your hand, your senses picked up on the sounds in the room around you. You registered a monitor beeping quietly and focused on steadying your breath. A light flicked between your pupils, someone waving it across your face. You hissed and swung out unsteadily, fist landing in an open palm.

“Hey, hey Y/N, easy. It’s okay.” The hand wrapped around your fist squeezed gently as your eyes focused on her. She moved her hand to your shoulder and squeezed again, soothingly. "I know you're gonna feel weird, but it's all our new normal. We're in Na'vi bodies now. I'm Zdinarsk, but you can call me Z-dog."

Your brow furrowed, looking more closely at her face, analyzing the wide yellow eyes staring back at you. You swatted her hand away, holding your pounding head as you slowly sat up. Still not fully with it, you were momentarily confused by how small the humans around you were. Weakly dropping your hands to your lap, you startled at the blue stripes across them. Well. Shit.

~~~

Zdinarsk walked you to the bay you'd be staying in along with most of the other recoms. She walked quietly allowing you time to your thoughts.

"Uh, hey, sorry for swinging at you earlier. It was quite the shock.. well, I'm sure you know."

She snorted and said, "Hell yes I do. And you weren't half bad as Colonel. Wainfleet ended up with a bloody nose." You laughed together and turned the corner, walking in to be introduced to the rest of the group. You greeted everyone with a shy smile and awkward wave before you all went to your cots.

In your human life, you hadn't worked as closely with any of these soldiers, but you'd been extremely efficient with strategy and weapons skills, so you'd been brought back for a new round. You winced, rolling over on your braid, still so unfamiliar to you.

Awkwardly turning onto your side, you met eyes with Z-dog and flinched, not expecting her gaze to be so intent on you. She blew a bubble and popped it quietly, flashing a grin.

"Do you ever stop chewing gum?" you whispered.

She gave a lopsided smile back and said, "Nah, keeps me from clenching my jaw from all the stress. I used to smoke and when I quit, it became my new habit. I guess it carried over into this body, too. Want some?"

You shook your head, rolling onto your back and gently tugging your braid over your shoulder. Soon enough, you heard quiet breaths from the soldier beside you and closed your eyes, trying to calm your mind from the events of the day.

~~~

"Zdinarsk! Y/N! You're pairing for patrol," Lieutenant Wainfleet yelled across the bay.

With a groan, she sat up, whining, "I don't wannaaaa."

His eyebrow rose, unimpressed. "You have something better to do?"

She sulked, looking away, "Well, no. Ugh, FINE. Y/N. Let's go."

You hurriedly packed up your weapon and a small pack around your waist, following her from the bay and out the doors.

The patrol wasn't too bad, just walking around the base, checking all exits and keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. Z-dog chattered away and popped her gum before realizing you weren't beside her anymore. She spun, mildly panicked until she saw you standing back a bit, gawking at the machines building new facilities.

"Oh! Sorry," you called. "These things are just so insane, so much has changed since we've been gone."

She gave an understanding smile and bumped her shoulder against yours. "I get it. It's hard to feel like we've got a place in this new world. But we're soldiers. Always will be. So let's do that until something better comes along."

You nodded and turned to follow her, glancing one last time behind you, overwhelmed at the reality that life had just moved on without you in it.

~~~

That night she sat between your legs leaned back into you. You playfully shoved her forward. "If you sit too close, I can't braid properly, you goon."

"But you're so warrrmmm," she whined, leaning back again.

"Okay, fine. Braid your own hair." You stood up to step around her and she hooked an arm around your thigh. She grinned cat-like up at you, her sharp canines poking her bottom lip.

"I promise to behave. Please don't go."

With a roll of your eyes, you plopped back down onto the cot and started braiding quickly, trying to keep your fingers from trembling. You two had been stuck together ever since you'd woken up. She had helped guide you through this new life and been there for everything you experienced. Your grip slipped slightly and you caught the hair before it could come undone, accidentally squeezing too hard.

She hissed and grabbed her queue so it couldn't be pulled more. "What the hell? I said I'd behave and I am so-" She had turned around and looked up at your face in concern now. "What's going on inside that brain of yours?"

Your eyes started to tear up and you shook your head, unable to find the words to express the legion of emotions that consumed your every thought. She nodded in understanding and squeezed your knee.

"I get it. It's a lot. And that's an understatement. But you're not alone. You've got all of us, me. We'll help you." She flicked your nose, shocking you from your trance. "But you still have to braid my hair. And don't tug it again. I don't want to have to gut you." She turned back around, back straight, hiding a small smile.

~~~

The two of you were working on tracking in the forest, heads constantly on a swivel for any threats. A branch snapped and you jumped, whipping up your gun. Z-dog spun quickly, back pressing against yours, ready to protect. A hexapede called through the woods and soon you heard a small herd running away from you.

Defeated, you lowered your weapon. "Damn, I'm sorry. I feel like a child just having to relearn everything."

She patted your shoulder, comfortingly. "I brought snacks. We can sit for a while and share them if you want."

You acceded and sat with her, slumping back against a tree, shoulders pressed together. She handed you a piece of jerky and the two of you sat quietly chewing for a few minutes.

"Seriously, Z-dog. Thank you for taking care of me, sometimes I feel like such a burden on you and I just wanted you to know I'm grateful that you never treat me like that."

She turned quickly to you, grabbing your hand in hers. "You are NOT a burden. You're.. you're.."

You cocked your head, feeling defeated. She apparently didn't even know a nice way to put it. "I'm what? It's alright if you're honest. If I'm holding you back in any way I have to know. Just say it."

"I don't know what you are," she confessed.

Your nose wrinkled in confusion and your fingers twisted at the pocket of your shorts. "That's.. unhelpful."

She scoffed and groaned, putting her face in her hands. She looked back up, putting a hand on your shoulder. "That's not.. I don't have the right words. It-" Her face turned resolute as she made up her mind. She quickly leaned in and pressed her lips to yours, yours opening slightly with a gasp into her mouth.

She pulled back, a blush spreading across her face and neck. "I don't know what to call you. What you are to me. Something. You're my something. If you're cool with it."

You reached out to her, cupping her cheek in your palm, sliding your hand to the back of her neck, pulling her forward to meet you. You leaned in, lips meeting her jaw and traveling up to her mouth, whispers of a touch across her skin. She tilted her head back and you pulled her close, settling her body against yours. You were safe, hidden in your own secret place in the forest a world away from your old life.

[izupie]

I can't believe im at work early on a Sunday

Booooooo

Just have to remind myself of the money. I get time and a half if I work on a Sunday so it's well worth it

But

I don't wannaaaa

Past me was so sensible getting the extra shift to help pay for con fees

But she's also kind of the worst ugh

[not-so-sleepy-creature]

We have new guy at work, I spend with him maybe 3 hours and already hate him. No as a person, I don't know who he is, but he doesn't work! I have to do most of it and he's like "but I don't wannaaaa.. 🥺". Anddd recently I was complaining to another coworker because just ugh! And she said about this my boss, and today he said: "It's okay, you don't have to work with him if you don't like him, I will change schedule so you don't have shift together".

Ahh my heart 💕💕💕

I didn't want it to became "a thing" and problem, but if he can do something with this? Amazing.

And I'm really sorry for people working with him. For me it's possible to change schedule because he works at evening and I have morning shift, I was working with him just sometimes when they needed me to stay a little bit longer or when he wanted do be second person on morning shift.

[dramatic-dolphin]

me: ugh i guess i better get up and shower and get ready... i don't wannaaaa *immediately gets an email that today's class is cancelled*

[quadballz]

𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓; one

࿔*:･ﾟi.

next: ࿔*:･ﾟii. | table of contents

BOTH GIRLS sat in the lobby of the hospital, (y/n) still flipping through the pages of the book. "So, are there any clues as to who he is?" asked Yasuho as she rested her chin on the other girl's shoulder. (y/n) shook her head, scanning over the pages like she had been doing ever since they had found the man a day prior. "I want to say that he's a Joestar but I can't confirm anything unless we find a family tree or something," sighed (y/n), closing the book with a huff, "plus, once great-great-grandma passed away, my Kishibe-side put that motto in place so I doubt we have any recent information on the Joestars."

Yasuho pouted solemnly as her grip tightened around the two packages of Sesame Honey Dumplings. (y/n) looked at the other girl from her peripherals, with a soft smile. "I'm sure we'll figure out who he is," (y/n) paused to place a hand on Yasuho's shoulders, only for her to whip her head to look at her with a furrowed brow. "What even are the mottos you're talking about?" Yasuho asked while scouring the other girl's face for answers and only receiving a strained smile.

"Well, as a Kishibe, I was told to never trust a 'Jojo' but as a Speedwagon, it looks like I always have to help a 'Joestar'; and as you can tell, there's a 'Jo' in 'Joestar'," she explained to Yasuho who still wasn't too satisfied. (y/n) smiled and stood up, holding out a hand to the pink-haired girl. "Don't worry," she assured as Yasuho took her hand, "I'm definitely going to fulfill my role as a Speedwagon. Even if he isn't actually a Joestar." Yasuho gave her a smile that made her heart skip a beat and her ears burn.

After pulling Yasuho up, (y/n) turned away, looking at the passersby without a clue as to why she was doing so. "P-plus, it might take a while, but I'm sure he'll figure out who he is eventually! In the meantime, why don't you take those dumplings to him?" Yasuho looked down at her gift and (y/n)'s lack of one. "Hey, didn't you say you'd get him a get-well gift?" Yasuho questioned, while (y/n) gave a playful scoff. "Yeah, of course! I have it right-" (y/n) froze at the sight of her great-great-grandma's old notebook— she forgot.

(y/n)'s gaze robotically fell onto Yasuho's second box of dumplings. "Yasuho, darling," (y/n) began with a few 'seductive' blinks of her eyelashes and with an arm on the wall by Yasuho's head, "think I could have that second box of dumplings?" Yasuho's brow furrowed as she gave (y/n) a knowing look. "That won't work on me, honey. The other box is for Joshu." (y/n) groaned and put her face in her hands, hoping to cover her flushed expression. And also because, ugh, Joshu existed and she just had to be reminded.

"Ugh. Right. That asshole is here too," (y/n) groaned while Yasuho began pushing her in the direction of the gift shop. Yasuho seemingly didn't have a comment on (y/n)'s hatred for him but the girl was far too nice to ever really have such a strong opinion on someone. "Do I have to get him something?" (y/n) whined while Yasuho gave her a tight-lipped smile, "aww, but Yasuhoo, I don't wannaaaa." "If I had to, so do you."

After a reluctant trudge over to the shop, the two girls found themselves standing in front of a shirt with an out-of-date slogan on it. While Yasuho looked through other clothes, (y/n) looked at it with proud tears in her eyes. "I...I think Mr. Joestar would love this," she said with a smoldering look, "I think it would be good to see him in it as a reference for that character I was telling you about." Yasuho looked at the shirt and back to (y/n) with a raised brow, "oh, c'mon (y/n), don't use the poor guy as reference material."

(y/n) hummed and took one final look at the shirt before tilting her head to the side, a pout on her face. She was really hoping to use him as a reference but if Yasuho was telling her not to, she'd have to listen. Well, at least while Yasuho was around. As she put the shirt back, (y/n) saw a bright pink scarf with sequins on it. In an instant, it was in her arms— a tacky gift for a tacky guy by the name of Joshu.

"Is that for who I think it is?" Yasuho asked while stifling a laugh, "please tell me it is." (y/n) gave her a wide grin before showing it off. "If you must know, it is for our dearest friend Joshu who requires some sparkle to bring back his eyesight." Yasuho doubled over before taking hold of the fabric, "I can't wait to see his reaction." "What's he going to react to? The feeling of the scarf?" Yasuho was reduced to a giggly mess while (y/n) smiled and turned to look through the stuffed animal section.

"I think I'll get Mr. Joestar one of these cuties," (y/n) said aloud once Yasuho's laughter had died down. She had placed her chin on (y/n)'s shoulder while the girl picked up a fluffy blue bear. "Think he'd like it?" asked Yasuho while fiddling with the ends of the pink scarf. (y/n) hummed for a moment before scanning the shelves, spotting a yellow dog with a sailor hat. "Hey...doesn't it kinda look like Josuke?"

Yasuho stared at the puppy with a fond smile, making (y/n)'s face burn— up close, Yasuho was awfully pretty. "You know, that guy kinda reminds me of him too." (y/n) brushed off her thoughts and held out the stuffed animal to look at from afar. While squinting, she somehow saw the guy's face. "Heh, you're right-" Yasuho stepped back, leaving (y/n)'s shoulder uncomfortably cold, "-I think I'll just get him this." Once purchased, and despite (y/n)'s complaints, they were off to Joshu's hospital room.

"(y/n)~ Yasuho~ You've come to visit little ol' me~?"

(y/n) grimaced as Joshu puckered his lips and batted his eyelashes while Yasuho gave him a hesitant smile. "Y-yeah! Just making sure you were okay, haha," Yasuho had mustered out before handing him a box of dumplings, "oh, and I got these for you." "Thank you, my little straw~ber~ry~," breathed out Joshu while (y/n) was on the verge of throwing up, preferably aimed into Joshu's gross mouth.

"As for you my favorite otaku~ Did you get me a get-well-present?" Joshu asked with a pout while she gagged. Yasuho nudged her and (y/n) was left to reluctantly pull out the scarf she had been previously excited to give to him. Sadly, the fool still had his vision so the joke was way less hilarious than she had hoped the exchange would be. "A scarf." Before he could say another word, she had chucked it at him and dragged Yasuho out of the room.

His faint shouts were like music to her ears and the sound of nurses rushing to his room to stop him was like a symphony. "So, what room is Mr. Joestar in?" (y/n) chirped as if she hadn't left her childhood enemy screaming at her in a different room. Yasuho hummed and then pulled a slip of paper with a scraggly set of numbers on it. "326," she replied simply, taking the lead instead of (y/n) who had really only visited the hospital to sit in the lobby and draw people when Yasuho was off hanging with her (now) ex-boyfriend.

When they reached the room, however, it was empty. (y/n)'s brow furrowed as Yasuho scanned the room— she had finally met a descendant of one of the people mentioned in her great-great-grandma's diary and now she lost him. Sure, it wasn't like it was of utmost importance but it had been a great inspiration for her new manga. And now it was all gone. "Dammit!" "Ow." Yasuho and (y/n) shot a glance at the mattress where the mystery guy just so happened to be.

"Holy shit!"

The two girls grabbed at each other, screaming in unison as the guy stared at them from the least expected place. "What in the world are you doing?!" screeched Yasuho as (y/n) remained glued to her side. The guy gave them both a sleepy grin that made (y/n) look away while biting her lip— she'd be lying if she didn't say that the Jo-guy wasn't hot and at that very moment she had been thanking her ancestor for passing down such a motto. Helping him meant staying around a pretty face after all.

"Hey, what's with you?" questioned Yasuho as (y/n) was pulled from her fantasies, "what're you doing down there?" Yasuho was definitely the better of the two for asking these questions. "What? Just what it looks like. I'm sleeping. The people wearing white clothes said I couldn't leave for a while," he replied while (y/n) crouched down and placed her chin in her hands, "what Yasuho meant to ask is why you're under there in the first place." The guy raised a brow from under his mattress, looking between the two girls.

"You mean people sleep on top? How would they put pressure on their bodies then?" Yasuho turned to (y/n) who could only muster half a shrug. "Sounds like a fetish or something," (y/n) said halfheartedly, "I mean, my great-great-grandma's friend said her friend had a thing for mosquito bites." Yasuho cringed just slightly before turning to the guy and holding out a box of dumplings that was smaller than what she had given to Joshu.

"Here, I got you a present. I thought I'd bring you something since you were in the hospital. (y/n) did too." As if on command, (y/n) held out the stuffed animal with a lopsided grin, "it kinda looked like you. Yasuho thought so too." Yasuho smiled in agreement and then started rambling about Joshu, his injuries, and why the two had come to visit while (y/n) nodded intermittently and the guy started to slide out from under the mattress. As he did so, the hem of his pants slowly slid lower and lower-

Four balls.

(y/n) broke out into laughter and turned away while Yasuho grimaced and shut her eyes tightly, crying out for him to stop before any more of his pants could fall off. While her friend had spiraled into mumbling against the wall, (y/n) had turned back around to find him examining the stuffed animal. "Like it?" (y/n) asked as he held it out in front of him, letting its limbs flop around. "Yes," he answered, turning to look at her from over his shoulder, "what is his name?" (y/n) hummed aloud in thought while plopping down onto the mattress.

"Mmm...Rohan is a cool name," she said with a smile, "but it's yours to name." The guy looked at her and then at the stuffed animal, setting it down next to her thigh and letting it flop on its side against her. "I like that name too." (y/n) felt the tip of her earns burn— it wasn't as if he had just flirted with her but she found his actions somehow attractive. The guy had now turned to Yasuho's gift, turning over the box and opening it carefully. "What are these?"

Yasuho had turned back around then with a raised brow, walking up beside him, "never had one? Morioh is famous for them." (y/n) watched fondly as Yasuho began to break into detail about the origins of the Sesame Honey Dumplings; ever since they were little, Yasuho had always had an addiction to them which eventually spread over to (y/n) when they became best friends during middle school. "...there's a special way to eat them. You gotta make sure not to bite with your front teeth."

"Oh, don't forget about chewing with your back teeth on the first bite," (y/n) added while the guy tentatively placed a dumpling in his mouth, doing the complete opposite of what he was supposed to. The black cream shot out from the gap between his teeth she hadn't realized he even had. It was...cute. As Yasuho reiterated what she had been saying, (y/n) couldn't take her eyes off him, especially when his odd-colored eyes glimmered with surprise.

MAN, OH, MAN DID SHE HOPE HE WAS A JOESTAR.

this cuts off at a weird spot but i felt this was pretty long already so yeah...lol

[scuttle-buttle]

It was all sad because he was a person that I hired myself but he understood because he had already made mistakes in the past, but this time it was too big. So when I finished my work day I went to find my dog and we took a walk in the park that he did not appreciate because he is very lazy 😅 later in the evening some friends came to hang out and so we finished watching midnight mass all together.

Ugh yes...having a job is so fucked up, we should both be in a warm bed with lots of blankets and a fucking ton of pillows and not having to be anywhere else. calm, safe and happy

🔥-N

I can imagine yeah. Sometimes shit happens and we just all need to do our best to get thru it and learn from it, for everyone involved. And who knows, this could be something that opens a new opportunity for him that's even better and more suited to his skills and interests. There's usually a silver lining in everything.

Also like.... I really misread the thing about the pillows at first and had a moment of pure shock because I thought you were talking about a very different activity and I almost spit out my coke 😅 my mind went from 0 to 60 real quick. But yes snuggle up in bed and get cozy because life is a bitch and I don't wannaaaa 😫

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰⚔️🐲🐲👑 DMODT - ugh... I have to write another time skip... I don't wannaaaa 😭

Eren had been had. At the time of the attack he hadn't realised it, and yet, now he wall and truly did as he watched the world through the bars on his windows. His mail now checked before reaching him. His movements limited to within the manor itself. He couldn't take Luca outside. He wasn't allowed to attend public functions, and all of it was under the guise "that they couldn't guarantee Eren's safety". The alphas foolish enough to have attacked him, had mysteriously escaped the manor's dungeons, Zeke sounding bitter as he informed him. Despite how much he hated it, he'd been forced to rely on the alpha as a storm had hit Marley so severely that Eren had thought he'd freeze to death in his room. Zeke had heard him coughing and wheezing, so had brought him into his chambers where he settled both he and Luca down in front of the fire. Being 5 months pregnant, Eren was starting to worry for the life inside of him. He was still barely showing. It didn't feel like a clutch, yet he didn't feel the movements of a foetus. His omega's need for comfort had kicked him long ago as had the puffy small breasts and sore chest, but all he felt was disgusted at the idea of being held by another, and because he hadn't openly been practicing magic, he feared it was affecting him like Obsydin's collar had. He wanted to go home. No. He wanted to go to Draecia. He wanted to see Historia, and Ymir, even Freya and Steege. Yet all he could do was watch the world through the bars on his windows. "Prince Eren, Prince Zeke has asked you to join him for dinner in his room" Mikasa and Armin both looked to him from Eren's bed where they were playing a game of cards that held no interest to Eren "Tell Prince Zeke that Prince Eren declines his offer" Mikasa looked back to her hand of cards and continued her move. Mikasa didn't care for the two new guards placed outside Eren's door, tiny dark haired woman named Pieck, and a tallish blond man named Porco. Both who'd sworn they were loyal to Zeke, and both of which creeped Eren out. Porco sounded as bored as Mikasa did as she declined the offer. Though, Eren really didn't see why Zeke couldn't just knock on the door and ask himself "Luca and I accept, please tell my husband I'll be there shortly" In roughly 30 seconds once he slid off the windowsill, walked past his glaring friends, unlocked his door and stepped into Zeke's room "Very good, Prince Eren. Dinner is already served, please be prompt" "Thank you, Porco" It was nearly a full minute, Mikasa and Armin both deciding they needed to scold him over the time he was spending with Zeke. They both the saw the need to remind him of who Zeke was, like he didn't know that for himself. Armed with Luca on his shoulder's, his son trilled loudly as they entered Zeke's room. He knew the sweet and adorable times couldn't last forever, but lately it felt as if Luca had entered his rebellious stage, doing everything he knew he wasn't supposed to, then huffing and turning his back on him when Eren scolded him for his bad behaviour. Letting himself into Zeke's room, Zeke was already seated at the dinner table, drinking wine from the scent of it. Walking over to join him, Eren took his seat across from his husband "Prince Zeke, I must say I'm surprised you didn't just knock on my door to ask me to join you" Lowering his goblet, Zeke nodded "I would have, but I feared what Mikasa would do to me for disturbing you" "We both know you don't fear her. Is there something. You wished to discuss" "I want to send you back to Eldia" That got Eren's attention, for the first time a long time he felt something he could describe as pure happiness. It must have shown on his face "I can't remember the last time I saw you smile like that" "There hasn't been anything to smile about" "Your morning sickness has passed? Is that not something to smile about?" Eren's smile fell, both hands going to his stomach "I wouldn't say it's passed... I... I'm concerned about the baby. I'm not exactly human, but..." "Do you require a healer? Are you in pain?" Zeke's voice held concern. Concern Eren didn't want to hear. He had his own thoughts and views on this pregnancy, and a growing suspicion that it wasn't Zeke's. Normally an omega would seek the comforts of their child's father, yet Zeke's touch left his stomach turning. Of course, it was only a suspicion and more than likely simply a manifestation of his burning desire for the baby to Levi's "I don't think a human could help. I... when I was pregnant with the empty clutch, it was different to this... maybe it's because I'm part dragon, but... It doesn't feel normal" Zeke swore softly "I had intended to take you to Eldia. Pieck, and Porco, have both reported you seemed to be growing more and more depressed, and it has been quite some time since I visited... If you're not up for the trip..." "I am! I mean, I am. Just... I don't understand you at all. I asked to return to Eldia before, and it was never allowed" "Pieck, Porco and Yelena all feel it would be good for you, and the Queen has permitted it. It won't be for another few days, perhaps as late as a couple of weeks, storm season is upon us" Storms equalled waves. Waves equalled a swaying boat. Oh, god. No... Swallowing down the vomit that rose into his mouth at the thought of a violently rocking ship, Eren's voice was almost begging for the answer "no" as he asked "I... so we have to go by ship?" "Does that trouble you" "I... honestly, I would prefer not to. You may have been busy fucking in your cabin, but both Luca and I fell ill from the fumes" "Ship is the only way" "Maybe for humans" Zeke shook his head "I cannot allow you to take your dragon form, my mother has decreed that such actions are an act of treason" "I simply cannot understand your mother. She treats you like a pet, to praise only when you've done something right. Has she always been the way she is?" "No one would dare speak of the Queen that way. I remind you to hold your tongue" That wasn't a "no". He'd come to realise that everything Zeke had done was so that his mother might love him. All of his partying, was him playing the act of a ruler who didn't care, because he truly didn't know how to care for anything or anyone on a level that wasn't barely 5 inches on a good day. He'd grown warped and jaded as a product of his mother's indoctrinating. This discovery had been thrust upon him, without his want or need of it. It only served to mess with his head even more. He'd started to sympathise for Zeke, which conflicted with the fact he still mostly hated him... even if he had helped him, and kept his word not to touch him... "Anyway, shall we eat? Luca looks as if he wishes to..." Luca jumped off Eren's shoulder and onto the table, he'd gone through his own mini growth spurt, going from the size of a small cat to a large, and somewhat fat one. His jumping was much more "thuddy", and his lack of stealth even more lacking "Yes. And about Eldia, thank you. I really miss my people" Zeke muttered something about Eldian's not being worth missing, yet Eren ignored the statement, not with being so close to returning home. Luca cut their dinner short, which was fine since they'd dissolved into eating in an awkward silence that left Eren feeling jumpy, with Luca picking what he liked off the side of Eren's plate. His son didn't like what meat was being served, making it shown by smacking Eren's plate off the table, then leaping down and stalking back to Eren's room. Losing his temper, Zeke let lose a string of words at Luca, and about abnormal dragons, that Eren was disgusted to hear, causing him to storm off after his son in just as much of a mood as Luca had been. Slamming the door behind him, Luca growled as he clawed at the bedding while Armin tried to pull him off the sheets his claws were shedding "What happened? Come on, Lu... leave the sheets alone" Luca huffed, if the little dragon could roll his eyes, he would have "Zeke wants to keep me happy and safe, so we're heading to Eldia the next few days we get. You know, I was actually starting to maybe not hate him as much, but he just called... He called Luca a beast that would have been wasted on his parent's sheets, and dragon's freaks of nature" Mikasa growled, jumping off the bed "I'll fucking kill him" "You're not killing him. We're returning to Eldia, and I may have permission to visit Historia about my pregnancy. Just... fuck. I don't know what to think. One moment he's being nice and he's keeping his word, the next he's being like this! This is what I hate about alphas! Just tell me what I'm supposed to feel, because I don't fucking know anymore!" Hanging his head, Luca let out a sad cry. Running his hands through his hair, Eren took a deep breath, trying not to cry and failing miserably "I know. I'm sorry for yelling, but you were naughty and you know it. I have to eat because I'm growing you sibling inside of me, and I can't have what little food I get spilt across the floor... god. Just... fucking Levi... fucking alphas... why did he have to leave?" Abandoning her war pose, Mikasa gathered him up in her arms, before pulling him down onto his bed. Armin and Luca piling in for an awkward cuddle "Eren..." "Can you both stay tonight? I don't want to be alone" Armin stroked his hair, hushing him softly as he rolled away from Mikasa. He loved her, but the whole alpha thing was upsetting his omega "Of course. Do you want to stay in your room, or come to ours? Luca ruined your sheets" Even when he was a shit, he was still Eren's baby boy. And no one got to blame Luca for things without at least attempting to understand why first "He's learning his boundaries, and learning how tiny he really is. He wants to communicate, but can't find the words... That he's lonely. And he's bored. We're both trapped in here... I want to go back to Eldia. I want to go home" "Did Zeke give an exact date?" "No. We have to go by ship too, if I change into a dragon here, it'll be seen as a declaration of war" Armin and Mikasa both groaned at that. They'd seen how sick it had made both him and Luca, and now they had to go back again... and then there'd be the trip back to Marley... "But you are a dragon. Fucking Zeke" "It wasn't Zeke, but Dina who decided it, Mikasa... I just want to go home. Things wouldn't be so bad if we were home" Armin kissed his forehead "Don't worry, we'll be home soon. Nicollo's probably hoping we stay away, fearing for his kitchen" "I miss the castle. I miss our friends" "Even Jean and Erwin?" "No... but only because they're alphas. Sorry Mikasa, but with the baby and since the attack every time I smell an alpha I get so stupidly scared" Mikasa patted his hip "I know. I've been trying hard not to scent you by accident" "Thank you... I'm so sick of feeling like this... and this thing inside me... I'm not ready" "Eren, you still have months to go. If... if you don't want this baby, it's still not too late" "I don't know what I want, Armin. I haven't since he left..." "When I see that midget next, I'm going to break his nose for leaving you" Armin gave a giggle "Just his nose?" "Nose, legs, dick, pretty much anything I can get my hands on" His friends might have found the humour in Mikasa's words, but his omega definitely didn't as he growled in warning "He's still my mate" "He left you..." "Mikasa, maybe we shouldn't. Even I can smell how upset that made him, and I'm a beta. I'm sorry, Eren. Let's just get some sleep? The sooner we go to sleep, the sooner we leave, right?" "No. It's... it's my fault for being so hormonal. I'm worried about the baby... I know it has to be Zeke's, but I keep praying it's Levi's. He wanted this so much, and I just keep thinking that if something's happened to the sword, then maybe somehow I fell pregnant before Zeke touched me. I know I'm making myself miserable" "Do you maybe want to talk about what happened when you were gone? I know you said you're not ready, and you don't have to tell us everything, but maybe you can tell us how you met Luca? Or where you went? You said you'd been in Europe. That must have been fun?" Eren sniffled, he didn't know why Gretta was the first thing that came to mind "Someone tried to poison us when we stayed in a whorehouse..." Mikasa shot up, Eren flinching at the sudden action "Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" "Mikasa! You're scaring him" "But someone tried to hurt him..." "That was like 8 months ago. Do you want to tell us about it?" 8 months... it'd only been 8 months since his birthday? At the same time, he could easily believe it. Every day since coming up Marley had felt so long, and he was 5 months or so along... if he did the maths, it was nearly 8 and a half months, which meant it would soon be Levi's birthday. The thought brought a fresh round of tears to his eyes. He wasn't supposed to be here without Levi "Maybe... just a little though... about Luca. These people killed his mum, and he was the only egg to survive... he waited over 20 years to hatch... and his father... Hannes... he died too because of us..." Not meaning to, and unable to stop himself, even through his tears and sobs, Eren word vomited about his time with Hannes. About his new scales, his breath, what Hannes was like and how he cheated at cards. The more he talked about Hannes, the better he felt. It hadn't been perfect there, but it'd felt right at the time, and Levi had been so much better then. As he talked Luca fell asleep mid story, his head atop Eren's as Eren talked himself right to sleep. This left Mikasa to move Eren, while Armin moved Luca in order to take care of the sheets the dragon had ruined. Both of them knew Eren would fix the sheets right up when he could, but would freeze without proper bedding. That was how the three of them found themselves curling back around the omega protectively under Armin's blankets, with Eren's piled on top like some kind of weird pasta.

[pilferingapples]

also oh gad 

my values are terrible 

and my tones and hues are worse 

what even is color theory, what is lighting, we just don’t know 

[races-erster]

I need to sleep but I don't wannaaaa. Ugh

Yeah. Sleep is pretty important

[bitatulipa]

ughh

I'm so fucking dysphoric todayyy ughhh

it sucks that i have dysphoria and dyspraxia and ugh whatever else

i don't wannaaaa do verbal stuff

iiiii caaaaaan't

i cant i cant i cant

it hurts and it feels uncomfortable

and ughhhh it takes so so so so so much effort

i wish my love could just hold me right now

i wanna cuddle until I'm maybe less ugh

idk what to doooo

whyyy ugh

ugh