#u might see my discord icon in some of these screenshots. ignore that <3 i was in call with my beloved while playing and was going Insane.

[faemytho]

i'm totally about to be proven wrong when the awakened Pure Vanilla update drops, but i need to post these fucking thoughts SOMEWHERE.

Shadow Milk is lonely as FUCK and doesn't actually give a shit about where his Soul Jam ends up.

after a year of missing cookie run and then proceeding to speedrun all of the beast yeast episodes, i can confidently say that of the three Beasts we have story for, Shadow Milk is the most fucking insane about his hero counterpart. not about his Soul Jam. about Pure Vanilla.

storywise, he's following the same formula the other Beasts have followed - attempt to subject their hero to their counterpart aspect, have them overcome it and awaken at the last moment, ect ect. Dark Cacao's resolution was subjected to apathy. Golden Cheese's abundance was subjected to destruction (fucking. ow...). currently, Pure Vanilla's truth is being subjected to deceit, doubting everything he's ever known, not even sure who he is anymore.

maybe it's the nature of truth, deceit, and knowledge, but Shadow Milk's methods are so much more fucking INTIMATE than the methods of the other Beasts and i am NOT exaggerating. the other Beasts are at least trying to get their Soul Jams back, but Shadow Milk mentioned it like. maybe once, contrasting against how many times he personally laid claim to Pure Vanilla himself.

in this essay i will be going fucking INSANE.

Shadow Milk is lonely. he's lonely because he has nobody else like him. nobody else who understands. nobody else who can keep up with him. he is KNOWLEDGE. he knows ALL. who could POSSIBLY understand that, much less KEEP UP with that?

("thinking about me much these days? please move in with me". shadow milk your Want is showing).

obviously this loneliness has driven him off the deep end, but not so much that he can't recognize that Pure Vanilla is, in fact, like him.

and Pure Vanilla recognizes it too.

and how can Shadow Milk not cling to that? he can't not dig his fingers in and hoard Pure Vanilla all to himself. there's nobody else like them. he recognizes that Pure Vanilla is on the same path towards corruption and deceit that he fell down, and it means he won't be so lonely anymore - the Truthless Recluse that Pure Vanilla becomes, he's the closest thing Shadow Milk has ever had to someone who understands everything that he is.

and here's the part where Shadow Milk doesn't actually care where his Soul Jam ends up.

because reclaiming his Soul Jam means getting Pure Vanilla off the path towards deceit. it means Pure Vanilla won't suffer like he did. Pure Vanilla without the Light of Truth will never become a shattered Fount of Knowledge, and if Shadow Milk reclaims his Soul Jam he will never have someone who understands who he is down to his core.

but. on the other hand. if he lets Pure Vanilla keep his half of the Soul Jam, it means he'll eventually end up right where Shadow Milk is, and its just a matter of waiting for it to happen. and then, Shadow Milk won't be so goddamn lonely anymore. (and its gonna feel. good).

this ^ was not a threat. it was a desperate cry to be recognized. to not be left alone any longer.

he knows what he's doing isn't the right way to get what he wants, but the real truth. hurts. it hurts, either path he takes, so he might as well take the path that makes it hurt less for himself.

he might as well just lie to himself too.

(and that's why he dresses Pure Vanilla up in the robes of the Fount of Knowledge. it's his way of hammering in that he wants Pure Vanilla to become like him. which will only happen if he lets Pure Vanilla keep his Soul Jam.)