#u know what this could be any number of ships. i was so torn between making it mizu x akemi or mizu x female oc but oh well it is what it i

[irellia]

Her hands are rough. She always marvels a little over that, when they’re lying together amid the rich silks and linens of her bed. Her hands are rough—calloused where a sword would sit in her palm, scarred from old burns and older fights. She wears it around her eyes too, a short life lived hard, with all its ghosts and old blood. She looks older than she ought to, cut out of stone: cold; hard; stolid; like shards of glass—like a blade, sharpened, the last thing men see before darkness falls— but when she presses her mouth — slick and soft, sweet with lipstick— to her neck, Mizu warms under her touch, becomes liquid; she flows, grasps at her waist softly, delicately, as though afraid she'll somehow break her.

I am not made of glass, Mizu she says, a little abashed, the first time she kisses her, gathers her face into her hands and sinks her teeth into the curve of her lower lip, hungry, desperate for her mouth her hands her smell, her her her — god, she wants her — and Mizu gasps, a sharp, low sound torn from her throat, and draws back, touches her as though she's never touched something this fragile before; unmarred by death. Clean. Pure. Hers.

I shall not break.

She traces the cross mark, the little black dot inked into the inside of her arm,  feels the heat of her body seeping through the silks of her dress, her pulse throbbing beneath her skin.

She does not understand Mizu when she murmurs in that detached, cool voice, like riverwater, flowing darkly through her, I can't - I can't... when her hands rise to caress her neck anyway, despite her protestations, her thumb, rough, made hard from all the blood they've spilled, rubbing against her throat, with such gentleness, it makes her ache.

Hidden away, sheltered from a world brimming with death, Mizu does not crack for her - she cannot let the walls around her be torn down in the name of desire, lust, want want want - this is weakness; she tells herself, fighting against the fire that swells in her blood; this is wrong, but she does not pull away when she looks at her through the thicket of her lashes, long and dark as soot; does not shrug her off when she sits near her, presses her shoulder against hers, hungered for her attentions. She would give anything to be seen, to be known, as she is: violent; furious; hungered and empty and aching- to be wanted, in spite of it all... To be... To be. She is warm under her, around her, and that same humanity, that fragile, small thing that growls its agony inside of her, that thing that makes her, when the hour grows late and she too deep in the darkness, the softness that claws at her heart that she always taught herself to despise in her, is what draws her to this strange creature she does not deserve but has somehow made her way into her life.

She laughs; Mizu, too, does not understand her when she says Come here; let me look at you, when she laughs at her aloof detachment, her cool, stony face, how she looks away when she smirks, how her hand twitches at her side.

(Every time Mizu is gone longer than she said she would be, she panics—what if she does not come back? She is beautiful and strong, brown from the sun and scarred, flaming, why would she come back to her?)

Her hands are rough from touching a world she has never known, and she carries the smell of strange forests in her hair. She presses herself into the warmth of her body (scarred and lithe, slim yet hard with muscle) as they lay amidst the silks of her bed. You’re the only real thing I have, Mizu breathes.

She does not say anything; she does not understand her; only looks at her, as though afraid something will take her from her if she blinks. Her response is to kiss her, over-eager, warm and willing and imprecise, desiring, and, if only for tonight, that suits them both.

[willowbird]

Hey! For the au + trope + prompt thing, could you do 1 for au, 9 for trope and 27 for prompt with pynch?

(P.S: I just remembered you have already done one with pynch, so you can do this one with another ship of your choosing if this one feels repetitive!)

Roommates AU, strangers to lovers, “that was a very bad idea. 0/10 would not recommend.” ~ for pynch!

I am more than happy to write 10,000 roommate aus for these idiots <3

---

It all started with an only mildly suspicious ad on craigslist:

Roommate needed $275/mo - utilities included must be ok with corvids good w/cars a plus - rent discount if u can prove it

Adam wasn't an idiot. He knew something that was too good to be true when he saw it. He also knew that answering a craigslist ad for a roommate was a good way to get stabbed, robbed, and God only knew what else.

And yet...

Sometimes, when your options were limited it really was better to take every possible avenue to get away from the devil you know - even if that means sharing a small apartment with the devil you don't.

Well, the devil and his pet raven. And really, Chainsaw was by far the more agreeable of the two.

That being said, it wasn't like Ronan was awful. He was an asshole, and he was downright grumpy bastard anytime before 11am. He listened to terrible music, if that trash could ever be considered such. Chainsaw was a sweetheart, though, always bringing Adam new shinies for his approval and sitting with him while he worked on a paper or research or any number of other assignments for his degree.

(Taking the risk that he had by jumping at that craigslist ad meant that he was able to cut back on his hours a little bit at work, go to school full time, and start amassing a savings account.)

And, okay, Ronan probably had some merits too. He could cook, for one thing. Not to say that Adam couldn't cook. He could - he just didn't like to. If it were up to him, he'd probably subsist on saltines and hard-boiled eggs. In fact, he had done exactly that for the first two weeks living with Ronan until the other man had dropped a full plate of breakfast in front of him, stole his crackers, and pointed at him. "Eat like a fucking grown-up," he'd said -and... well, that was that. Sure, Adam had tried to protest, but Ronan had just... started making food for the both of them and maybe if it was shitty food or even mediocre in quality Adam would have been able to ignore it - but it killed something inside Adam to waste food. Especially good food. And Ronan's food was fucking amazing.

So, there was that.

He also wasn't an absolute terror to be around. Having a conversation with Ronan Lynch was a choose-your-own-adventure novel written by very high geniuses. You really never knew what you were going to get and each alternate path was bound to be either completely bat-shit crazy or a humbling level of profound. Not only that, but Ronan didn't pull that alpha-male bullshit so many other men did where they refused to admit they didn't know something. No, when Adam proved that he knew what he was talking about when it came to cars, Ronan just said "teach me?" with such open intensity that Adam couldn't really tell him 'no', alright?

And then there were days like today, where Adam got home from an early shift at the garage to find Ronan sitting halfway out of their third-floor apartment, securing a thick rope to a hook above the window that definitely hadn't been there when Adam left that morning.

"Are you about to do something stupid again?" Adam called up to him as he got out of his car. Upon hearing his voice, Chainsaw (who had been circling anxiously above) crowed out a warbled imitation of speech that sounded a lot like 'Atom' and coasted down to him.

"Me? Stupid? Nah, this is gonna be fucking amazing," Ronan called back without looking away from his work.

Chainsaw landed on Adam's shoulder and clapped her beak affectionately near his ear. Adam dutifully lifted a hand to stroke at the soft feathers of her neck. If he also whispered 'hello beautiful girl, is your papa making trouble for you again?' it was between him and the bird and Ronan would never need to know.

Chainsaw crooned a tense 'kreh!' that Adam took as an affirmative.

"What exactly are you doing, Ronan Lynch?" Adam called up as he took another look at the setup, walking closer to the building. The rope that Ronan had just finished tying to the hook was already secured to a tree on the edge of the parking lot, the one that stood awkwardly out from the rest of the tree line. Their apartment complex was situated right on the edge of a forest preserve. A lot of Ronan's hair-brained ideas usually came back to the forest in one way or another.

"This is just a test run. If I can get it to work right, I'm going to set a line straight into the forest."

"Mm, yes, because... leaving civilization through a door is beneath you?"

Ronan paused, then grinned down at him, the expression somehow both boyish and savage in a way that always made Adam's heart jump for some reason. "Actually, yeah. Literally."

Adam rolled his eyes but didn't bother to fight the smile. "Punk."

"I resent that. I reject all labels, Parrish - you know that."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Well if you-- Ronan what are you doing?"

Ronan had produced what looked like a fucking tie (was that the one Ronan's brother Declan had been wearing when he came by for dinner a couple weeks back?) and had wrapped one end around his hand. As Adam watched, he flicked the loose end of the tie over the taut rope and then wrapped it around his other hand.

"Told you it was a test run, Parrish. That mean's I've actually got to test it."

"Ronan I don't think--"

But it was too late. Ronan had already jumped out of the fucking third-floor window like he was expecting to fly. For a second or two, he sort of did. The rope bowed but supported him and the smooth tie provided little friction as Ronan began to zoom down at a steep angle. Then the rope shuddered and went completely slack, the hook having torn free from the side of the building where it clearly had not been properly anchored. Ronan plummeted like a stone in a still pond.

"Ronan!" Adam did not make the active decision to move, but he was suddenly sprinting to where the jumbled heap of Ronan Lynch had landed on the rough pavement. Chainsaw had already launched ahead and was hopping around near Ronan's head, squawking out anxious reprimands of 'Kerah! Kerah!'

Adam skidded to his knees beside Ronan just as the other man was shakily trying to sit up. "What the FUCK Ronan Lynch!? What were you thinking!? You can't just jump out of a God-forsaken third-floor window like that. Do you want to be killed?" Adam didn't even care that the rural-Virginian flavor of his youth had coated his words in a thick batter, he was so mad.

Ronan blinked at him and there was a strange mix of confusion and pain and... something else on his face. "Scared, Parrish?" The words did not come out as teasing as they normally would.

"Scared? Scared? Of course I was scared. You... you fucking idiot!" Adam had to give himself a moment. He raked his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, then another. He closed his eyes and tried to center himself. Fear and anger would get him nowhere, even if the fear had already set its nasty little hooks into each and every one of his nerve endings and the anger felt like the only way to burn them away.

A hand touched his shoulder, then his cheek. Adam opened his eyes and Ronan was wearing another indecipherable expression, his dark eyes hooded, his mouth pursed.

"Come on," Adam said as he leaned back so he could stand up. "Can you stand?" Chainsaw continued to hop around, but she'd stopped her distressed shouting, perhaps sensing that Adam was taking control and feeling more comfortable knowing that he would set things to rights, whatever that might mean.

Ronan was quiet for a moment, then seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts before giving a derisive snort. "It was just a little fall, Parrish, I'm --fuck!" Ronan had just tried to stand up, but his knee buckled out from under him as soon as he put his weight on it. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, alright. Alright. Shit. Fuck. That was a very bad idea. 0/10 would not recommend."

"The standing or the stupid fucking stunt you pulled jumping out of a goddamn window?" Adam asked. He attempted to make it as dry as possible, trying to get them back to some kind of equilibrium, but his heart was still racing a bit too fast and he could hear the angry bite in his own words.

Still didn't stop him from instantly stepping forward and catching Ronan, though. He wound an arm around Ronan's waist, guiding Ronan's arm over his shoulders so he could support him.

"The standing, of course. Shit! Ah... fuck. My idea for the apartment-forest zipline is fucking genius thank you."

Adam helped Ronan hobble forward, taking them back toward his car instead of the building. "Yeah. Right. Whatever you say, Lynch."

"Where are we going?"

"To the hospital, dumbass," Adam said with a roll of his eyes, all but shoving Ronan into the passenger seat. He held the door open for Chainsaw to be able to swoop in and land on the idiot's lap. The least Ronan could do was soothe her for the drive.

"You don't have--"

Adam cut him off with a glare. "We. Are. Going. To. The. Hospital. Am I being perfectly clear?"

"...yes." Ronan glared back, but then sank down in his seat, expression mulish.

Adam fixed him with a hard stare that lasted another few heartbeats, then gave a nod and snapped the door shut.

So yes, Ronan Lynch wasn't all that bad. Sometimes the devil you don't really is the better choice. Because sometimes that devil has a cute bird and makes good food and has great conversation. If he also scares the shit out of you on the regular and makes your heart race inexplicably, well, that's not so bad a deal. Right?

[dovechim]

bam! you got scammed! 01 (m)

➾ 10k

➾ warnings: excessive mentions of cum, mentions of unsanitary usage of cum, squirting dildo, cam girl/ cam boy AU, male masturbation, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, slight slut shaming, unprotected sex, creampie 

➾  summary: some might say it's unethical. some might even say you’re a scammer. in this dog eats dog world, the line between right and wrong is a grey area indeed. but as a cam girl, there’s no such thing as work ethic, at least not to you. 

jeon jeongguk learns the hard way when he falls for your scam, but you can be sure he isn’t about to let you get away with this. 

➾ a/n: first of all, i truly apologise for using two gifs. i couldn’t, for the life of me, find a better gif of jeon when he’s pissed off and he does THAT thing with his tongue. you all know what I'm talking about. i hate myself so much because i had to look at so many pictures of jeon while searching for that second gif T___T

anyway, this is the first fic i’ve written where i stopped so many times and asked myself, what the hell am i writing? is this too weird?? but i am thankful for the friends i talked to and the encouragement they gave me :”) it got so long that i had to split it into two parts. the second part will be uploaded next week! 

♡♡♡

Blinking red hearts on the top left of your computer screen. A red dot indicating that your webcam is on and currently filming. Numbers that climb higher and higher by the second, accompanied by a never ending stream of comments in the sidebar.  And every now and then, a bright, happy chime that indicates someone has donated to your stream.

From your point of view, this is all that you see as you spread your legs wider, making sure the camera can capture all the mess that you’ve been making of yourself for the past hour. Your cute bunny hat slips down your forehead as you stroke the dildo in and out of yourself faster, watching the influx of comments praising you and urging you on.

cherry_chim013: whose cum is it this time? jackedasjeon: mine, of course jackedasjeon: it IS mine, right? handfulofhobi: not likely… we all know you don’t have that much cum considering how much u jerk off cherry_chim013: hahhaahfsd shit my dick slipped out of my hand jackedasjeon: SHUT UP jackedasjeon: how do u even jerk off with such a tiny dick?

“Oh come on guys… don’t fight,” you pout, sticking out your lower lip as you take the opportunity to rest your arm for a moment. “I’m sure jackedasjeon’s load is more than satisfying. I’d love to find out for myself one day…”

Normally, with the amount of comments that fly past, you have a hard time reading each and every one while trying to look sexy getting yourself off, but since these three subscribers happen to be your top contributors, their usernames are specially highlighted, and their comments are pinned in place for a few seconds.

handfulofhobi: does that mean it isn’t his?? cherry_chim013: HEY! my dick isn’t small, thank u very much

“I can vouch for cherrychim,” you giggle as you take out the dildo currently buried in your pussy. “I’d say he could give this one a run for its money?”

jackedasjeon: stop playing around babygirl jackedasjeon: i don’t care whose it is anymore jackedasjeon: i just want to see you cum

“Someone’s a little impatient tonight?” You raise an eyebrow at his demanding and insistent messages. “I haven’t even revealed whose cum it is yet… I got such a surprise when I went to pick up the package a few days ago. You gave me SO MUCH cum! Don’t worry, I didn’t spill any while transferring it in here.”

Your sentence ends with a giggle as you hide your face behind your hand, pretending to be embarrassed. Just then, a chime comes from your computer.

jackedasjeon has donated 500 coins!

You sit up a little straighter. ‘jackedasjeon’ has always been a consistent contributor to your streams, starting off with smaller amounts, but this is the most he’s ever given you. You give a little smooch to the camera as you sink the dildo into your pussy all the way, your face screwed up as it bottoms out inside you.

“Ah, it feels so much bigger today, I don’t know why,” you frown in confusion as you continue to fuck yourself. “Thank you jackedasjeon! Who knows… maybe you’ll get lucky next time? But for today, I’m very pleased to reveal that this huge load of cum that’s about to go in my pussy belongs to…”

You pause and reach for the shipping label that you had torn off, address and personal information scribbled out with black marker, leaving only the username visible. Showing it to the camera, you pause for a few seconds, making sure everyone has time to see what’s written on it.

“… handfulofhobi!” Your bright grin grows even wider as the subscriber conveys his delight with a hefty donation of 1000 coins. “Now now, don’t sulk, jackedasjeon. You too, cherrychim! There’s always a next time!”

You put the label away and lean closer to the camera as you start to whine and pant, inching closer and closer to your orgasm. In the midst of this, you read out several other random subscriber’s names in an effort to make everyone feel included. Then, your other hand reaches for the pump beside you, and as your walls clench around the dildo, you press it hard a few times, causing cum to spurt out of the head of the dildo and fill you up.

“It’s so thick… thank you hobi,” you giggle as you slow down your thrusting, reaching to redirect the camera in between your legs. The sheer amount of cum inside you makes everything so much sloppier, and soon the white liquid starts to leak out of you, turning frothy due to your thrusts. Still squeezing the other end to drain all the cum inside the dildo, you lazily push it in and out of your cunt. “You filled me up so well… thank you! I can only imagine what it’d be like to have you cumming inside me for real…”

You end off with a sigh, bringing your fingers down to play with your messy slit as you let the dildo slip out of you. Brushing your clit a few times, you make slightly tortured noises of overstimulation that your viewers love and enjoy, all in the name of putting up a show for them.

After a few minutes, you push the camera back so that your entire body is in the frame once more. You gather the sticky cum that stains your thighs, though it doesn’t do much more than spread it around. Pushing one finger into your mouth, you lick and suck the cum from it while maintaining eye contact with the camera, watching the comments suddenly surge.

While you read the comments, you reach for the dildo and suck around the head of it, squeezing the leftover cum inside it onto your tongue and playing with it, letting it drip down your chin onto your cleavage, covered by your pink lace bra.

cherry_chim013 has donated 400 coins! seojoonie has donated 100 coins! handfulofhobi has donated 800 coins! darkhorse015 and three others have donated a total of 400 coins! seojoonie: the best streamer on this fucking site seojoonie: you’d take my cock so well cherry_chim013: FUCK, that’s so hot cherry_chim013: i came all over myself handfulofhobi: oh my god handfulofhobi: it’d be my pleasure to fill u up in person baby jackedasjeon: push it inside you more babygirl jackedasjeon: don’t let a single drop go to waste jackedasjeon: if i were there i’d fuck it back into u

jackedasjeon: i’m still so hard

“Your pleasure is mine, cherrychim,” you giggle, resting your hand on your belly with your legs still wide open. “Today’s stream was made possible by the wonderful handfulofhobi… thank you so much! To everyone else, thank you for taking time to watch me. It was my pleasure,” you blow a kiss to the camera as you start to do your signature outro.

“As always, remember to like and subscribe to my channel if you liked what you saw! And turn on notifications so you’ll know every time I stream. For a chance to fill me with your cum next week, don’t forget to check out the link in the description box! Bye bye!”

You send a last kiss toward the camera before you turn it off for good, seeing the red light dim before you close your legs, grimacing at how sticky and disgusting you feel. Just as you are reaching for a baby wipe to clean up first, a notification pops up on your screen.

✉ jackedasjeon is requesting to send you a private message! ✉

Accept or Reject

You force a smile onto your face. Can’t reject one of your top subscribers, after all. They make up almost half of your monthly income from this site. The only reason why he’s able to even private message you in the first place. You sigh as you click accept, and a chat window pops up.

jackedasjeon is typing… jackedasjeon: i’m still hard… jackedasjeon sent you an image

♡

Jeon Jeongguk stares eagerly at his computer screen for a reply, grey sweatpants pushed down to his knees as he lounges at his computer table. Sure, he’d just stroked his cock for over an hour to his favourite cam girl, and that usually does the trick, but somehow today he can’t get it off. Too many horny bastards in the chatroom talking about how hard their dicks are and how much cum they’d pump her full of.

All just getting in the way of him enjoying his favourite cam girl. He really hit the jackpot when he stumbled upon your stream one lonely, horny weekday after class. You drew him in and captivated him immediately with your satin pink hair, glowing skin, wide, innocent eyes and always with that tantalising cleavage bouncing around on screen. No matter what kind of lewd things you did on screen, you always kept your corset top on, emphasising your tiny waist and making Jeon Jeongguk imagine how he’d wrap his hands around it as he makes your breasts bounce.

But more than that, watching your streams makes him feel like he knows you. Your soft voice, the sound of your laughter, and even when you aren’t doing anything lewd, just talking about your day or what you had for lunch, it makes him feel like he knows you in real life. Sometimes while listening to a lecture or working out, Jeongguk likes to turn on your streams and just hear the sound of your voice to keep him company.

He desperately hopes that you’ll entertain his request even though you officially ended the stream, and you limit your online activity to just that one time a week. Despite that, you easily maintain your position at the top of the leaderboard. It’s probably because you’re the first ever cam girl to offer such a service: each week, one lucky platinum subscriber gets a chance to send you a load (or two!) of cum and watch you fuck yourself full of it with your squirting dildo.

Jeongguk hasn’t had the chance, but after today’s stream, he feels more than hopeful. Just as he’s about to add on to the dick picture he sent, something appears on the screen.

meringuebaby is typing…

Jeongguk does a fist pump, his eyes lighting up in excitement. He rushes to delete the ‘i sent u my dick, pls respond?’ currently in the textbox.

meringuebaby: the stream not enough for you? meringuebaby: im not losing my touch am i…? T__________T

Jeongguk scrambles to type a reply back, his hands shaking. He can’t believe that you would even give him the time of day. You, the top streamer on this site, the hottest cam girl he’s ever seen in his entire life (ok, so he’s only watched your streams so far, but that doesn’t affect his ability to make objective judgements!), is private messaging him!

jackedasjeon: no no! never, babygirl jackedasjeon: i just needed a bit more help today… jackedasjeon: u’ll help me wont u? meringuebaby: of course i will… you’re my favourite subscriber ^^♡

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, and his cock throbs as he rushes to type a reply back onehanded. An onset of pictures interrupts him though, and he opens them one by one to savour them.

They are obviously just taken, and Jeongguk’s dick twitches at the thought of you taking these pictures just for him. The fact that no one else but him has access to these pictures, out of the millons of subscribers you have, makes him even harder. As he strokes his cock to images of your cum filled pussy, your perfect ass and your oh so innocent pout, he cums all over himself, pulling his shirt up just in time so he doesn’t stain it.

“Shit,” he swears under his breath as he pants, struggling to type a reply back to you.

jackedasjeon: my baby always knows exactly what i need jackedasjeon: i came so hard jackedasjeon: your pussy is so perfect

“… Jeon, how many times do I have to call you? Dinner is read- OH MY GOD!” Seokjin immediately covers his eyes and wails. “W-why didn’t you lock the god damn door? I need fucking first aid, your one eyed monster just massacred the entire human race—”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as he reaches for his phone to snap a pic of his cum stained abs to send to you, along with a short message thanking you. He doesn’t even bother to hide his slowly softening dick as Seokjin continues to wail about how his mental health will now take a turn for the worse, his crops will die and he’ll get kicked out of school.

meringuebaby: welcome baby, your pleasure is my pleasure ^^ meringuebaby: wow, that’s a lot of cum… shame it had to go to waste T_________T meringuebaby: i really hope you’ll get lucky next week xoxo

meringuebaby is now offline.

Jeongguk is grinning at his screen like a fool, softened dick still out and sweatpants still pooled at his feet.

Yoongi is in the midst of carting a tray of food back to his room when he catches sight of this. Seokjin is still wailing and complaining in the hallway.

“meringuebaby again?” Yoongi glances at Jeongguk’s screen, not half as bothered by Jeongguk’s nudity as Seokjin is.

“Yeah! Hyung, she private messaged with me! Said I was her favourite subscriber!” Jeongguk is practicing bouncing up and down with joy, his bunny smile lighting up his entire face.

Yoongi still seems unimpressed, though he does raise an eyebrow when he sees just how much Jeongguk has donated to your stream today. “What does she do again?”

“She lets one subscriber send her his cum every week. Then during her livestream she fucks herself with her squirting dildo and fills herself up with that subscriber’s cum,” Jeongguk rushes to explain, directing Yoongi’s attention to the leaderboard at the top of the page. “She’s the top streamer even though she only goes live once a week!”

Jeongguk takes the time to finally tuck himself back into his sweatpants and wipe the cum off his abs with a tissue as Yoongi scrutinises the page with a doubtful frown. “She… what now?”

“She lets—“ Jeongguk is about to go into his whole tirade again when Seokjin, finally unfrozen from his state of shock in the hallway, regains his senses when he no longer sees Jeongguk’s exposed dick.

“What?? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” he laughs as he approaches cautiously, as if Jeongguk’s dick might spring out at any time now. “First of all, that’s disgusting as fuck. Second of all, um… STD risk? Hello??”

Yoongi remains quiet as Jeongguk jumps to his favourite streamer’s defense with a petulant whine. “Ah Jin-hyung!You might think it’s gross, but her thousands of subscribers obviously don’t. And meringuebaby isn’t dumb, of course she makes us send her our test results too!”

“She probably doesn’t even know you exist,” Seokjin rolls his eyes as he walks away.

“She does! She said I’m her favourite subscriber!” Jeongguk calls out after the older man. Then he turns to Yoongi. “Isn’t she pretty?”

“She’s hot,” Yoongi admits with a simple nod. “The premise and all… very intriguing. I mean, lots of men love seeing cum filled pussy. But having the chance to have their cum featured on stream? She definitely hit a jackpot right there…”

Jeongguk beams with pride as he gazes at your profile picture at the top of the leaderboard.

“… but you’re totally getting scammed, dude.”

Jeongguk whips his head to turn and look at Yoongi. “What?”

Yoongi only laughs. “There’s no way she’s actually putting a stranger’s cum inside her like that. Even if she makes all of you send in test results, how can she be sure that they’re not fabricated? How can she be sure that it’s not someone else’s test results?”

“No way,” Jeongguk argues back with the utmost determination. “meringuebaby would never do that.”

Yoongi only sighs. When Jeongguk gets like this, there’s almost no way to convince him that he’s wrong. He’s one of the most stubborn people Yoongi has ever met. But that doesn’t stop Yoongi from saying his piece.

“Have you ever seen her actually pour the cum into her dildo?”

“…no, she always starts the stream right to the point. She’s already fucking herself when she comes online.” Jeongguk says in a small voice, but he defiantly pushes his chin up. “She probably doesn’t want to show us the boring stuff, that’s all!” And then a thought strikes him. “She always shows us the shipping label of the package!”

“That doesn’t prove anything, dude,” Yoongi only sighs at the youngest’s naivety. “She probably mixes up a batch of fake cum and loads it in. The consistency is way different, but you can’t tell when it’s in someone’s pussy. That’s how they do it in the porn industry too.”

Jeongguk is very quiet for a moment as he thinks about all the times he’s seen you fuck yourself with your beloved purple squirting dildo. It can’t be fake. You wouldn’t do something like that. Besides… besides! Jeongguk sits up straight with a sudden brain wave.

“Hyung!” He says with such a thunderous shout that even Yoongi, unbothered and unperturbed even if the sky were to come crashing down, jumps a little at the sheer volume. “The cum she uses every stream. They’re always different consistencies. Some thick, some super thin and watery, and some are just globs. If it was really fake cum, they’d all be the same consistency wouldn’t it? This just proves that they’re all from different men!”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. Jeongguk may be a cum connoisseur alright, but he isn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box. He pats Jeongguk’s back a few times with a pitying smile. “You know what… as long as you’re happy. As long as it makes you happy.”

Then he leaves the younger man still grinning happily at his computer screen.  Yoongi sighs as he hears the clink of coins signifying Jeongguk making yet another donation to your channel.

♡

“You ended later today,” Irene comments as you walk into the kitchen blindly, holding two cotton pads to your eyes. “Someone give you trouble?”

Ever the motherly figure, Irene has always been against you doing something like this. She always worries that someone might recognise you, especially since you’re one of the few top streamers to show your face openly on camera. But you argue back that there’s no way anyone could possibly recognise you. Not with the four hours you spend doing your makeup in the most ridiculous ways: heavy eye makeup, large, dramatic eyelashes with doll like circle lenses, custom made pink Sailor Moon wig. Most of the time you can’t even recognise yourself when you look in the mirror.

“Not really,” you say, not wanting to go into too much detail about the platinum subscriber who private messaged you, lest you freak Irene out even more.

At first, when she found out what you did as a side job (how could you have known that she’d be back from classes early?!) she had a complete meltdown over how “unsanitary”, “dangerous” and “scary” it was to be putting random strangers’ cum inside you. Not to mention how unsafe it was to be giving out your address on the internet! Until you told her you rented a PO box and showed her your stash of fake cum in the highest cupboard of your room, she was a sobbing mess wailing about how she was going to lose her one and only roommate to a nasty STD or worse, a horny, murderous kidnapper.

Now, sometimes she even helps you mix the cum for your streams when you get too busy to do it yourself. You would have thought that she would be too grossed out at the idea of what it was supposed to be, but she only treats it like a cooking project.

“Aren’t you afraid someone might figure it out one day?” Irene asks as she leaves dinner simmering on the stove to head for the fridge. “That this is all just a scam where you put on five push up bras, cover yourself in makeup, and where you don’t actually…”

Her voice trails off in embarrassment.

You peel off one side of the cotton pad, finding it completely stained with makeup and one false eyelash before peeling off the other. The five push-up bras in question are lying discarded on your bedroom floor, taken off the moment the stream ended.

“No one’s gonna find out unless they make a concerted effort to,” you say disinterestedly as you take off the rest of your makeup. “What I’m selling is an image, a fantasy. Those who believe in it won’t go about deliberately trying to ruin the very one thing that they believe in, the thing that gets them off and helps them escape from reality.”

You say this without an ounce of guilt whatsoever.

“If they really believe this—” you turn around and pluck your violet contact lens out of your eye to illustrate, “— is real, then they’re just fools. Sad, lonely fools.”

Technically, what you’re doing isn’t a scam, because do the guys who watch you still get to cum till their balls are empty? Yes.

Are you still fulfilling their fantasy of filling a stranger up with cum? Yes.

Before you started doing this, back when you had first signed up on the streaming website with only a few subscribers to your name, the top comment you always got was how the men wanted to fill you with their cum.

Why not give people what they want? That’s not a crime. You’re simply leveraging upon the laws of supply and demand (so econs class wasuseful after all!).

“Anyway, I just raked in another four hundred plus today,” you turn around bare faced again, scooping up your glasses and putting them on while grinning at your roommate. “You said you needed some textbooks on Monday right? They’re on me.”

“Oh ______... I can’t! It’s your hard earned money,” Irene hesitates as she scoops out the tofu stew she’d been slaving over for the past hour into bowls. “You should keep it for yourself.”

Irene always helps you with your streams, does your makeup and cooks you dinner even if she’s busy with school. This is the least you can do for her. You frown at her as she hands you a bowl of rice.

“Don’t even argue with me. I already ordered your books online. They’re coming in the next few days.”

Irene sits down opposite you as you start to dig in ravenously, her expression slightly worried, but she covers it up with a genuine smile of thanks. “Just be careful, _______.”

♡

You sit in front of your computer, textbooks open but attention elsewhere entirely.

A part of you slightly regrets being so generous to Irene as you stare at this semester’s tuition fee. Did it go up? Was the amount always this much?

You have barely enough in your bank account to cover it. Not to mention you’d have to miss out paying your portion of rent this month, on top of eating $1 kimbap for every meal if this goes on.

You sigh as you fold the letter in half. Just when you thought you could stop worrying about money so much, life just hits you in the face.

A chime comes from your computer as it lights up, and you click on the email notification from the cam girl website.

✉ jackedasjeon has sent you a private message!✉

Needing to take your mind off your worries for a second, you click to open his message.

jackedasjeon: when are you announcing the details for next week’s stream baby? jackedasjeon: i really hope I get lucky T____T jackedasjeon: i’ve been waiting for sooooo long T_____________T

Reading his messages makes you think about the dick picture he sent you. He’s clearly a well-built guy judging from the veins in his hands and arms, not to mention his generous cock, and last but not least, the cum stained abs that he was trying so very hard to show off. But the tone of his messages makes him sound like a whiny baby, and the thought of such a contrast actually makes you laugh.

Then, an idea strikes you as you click to your homepage and open a new announcement post.

hi cumnoisseurs ♡

how are my lovely icing chefs doing? ^___^♡ uwu

i was thinking of trying something new for next week’s stream! instead of picking a winner randomly (since I think most of you platinum subscribers have already had a chance once), there’ll be a bidding to determine the winner! owo

you can submit your bids on the discussion page! every night at 10pm, i will post the three current highest bidders ^_____^ bids are in increments of 250 coins! the entire bidding period only lasts for three days, so make sure you don’t forget!!

or i’ll be really sad that you wont have a chance to frost my cupcakes… qmq

i’m looking forward to receiving your icing bags uwu

lots of love,

meringuebaby ♡

As you read through your own post, you are cringing so hard from the overly sweet and cute tone that you almost throw up in your own mouth. The overuse of emoticons and ‘uwu’s has you want to wash your eyes out with saline. But this is what your viewers love, it’s the image you have cultivated for yourself, and you have to stick to it.

Sighing, you add a couple more emoticons here and there, deciding that there’s no such thing as overkill, before clicking on submit.

♡

Seokjin is having a nice, pleasant day whipping up some macarons; relishing in the peace and quiet. Having the entire kitchen to himself like this is rare. Usually, Jeon Jeongguk is in here making a mess with his protein shakes, or Min Yoongi is huddled in a chair eating whatever horrendous concoction made from three day leftovers in the fridge.

Seokjin shudders at the thought of that.

But at least with this; with this he can destress yet make some money on the side. It isn’t much, but taking small orders here and there has really added up over the weeks. He even has his own Instagram page where he features the best batches from his weekly bakes, and it really does a lot in attracting new customers.

He cracks one egg, separates the yolks from the whites, then moves to crack the second egg, tipping the yolk to one side of the shell and letting the whites fall into the pristine metal bowl beneath. All through this he can feel the serenity settle deep into his bones, he feels perfectly at ease. This is what he’s meant to do all his life; become the top pastry chef in Korea. His hands move to tilt the shell with the yolk just a little to make sure he gets every drop of egg white possible, when—

“Oh my GOD!!!!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!”

— his hand slips, and the yolk falls into the precious reservoir of egg whites down below, contaminating it beyond redemption as it breaks apart upon contact.

Seokjin breathes out in an attempt to control his rage.

“HOLY SHIT!” Jeon Jeongguk’s voice does not stop yelling.

Seokjin wipes his soiled hand onto a paper towel. With resolute steps, he makes his way to the stupid punk’s room, fully intent on teaching him a lesson he won’t soon forget. He shoves open Jeongguk’s door violently, completely forgetting what happened the last time he entered Jeongguk’s room without first knocking.

But luckily this time, he doesn’t end up with an eyeful of Jeongguk’s one eyed monster.

Instead, he finds Jeongguk prostate on the floor, on his knees with his forehead touching the ground as he sobs.

“Thank you thank you thank you…” he is mumbling as he— are those tears on his cheeks?!

Seokjin glances around in alarm. Has the stupid brat finally lost it? Had Seokjin been too harsh on him lately? But asking him to clean up after eating is definitely not too much—

In the midst of his fretting, Seokjin catches a glimpse of Jeongguk’s computer screen. He is currently on the cam girl from last time’s— he doesn’t recall a name— home page. Seokjin reads the top announcement, posted just five minutes ago.

And he is speechless.

“H-hyung… isn’t meringuebaby great?” Jeongguk can barely speak, his voice is choked with tears. “She’s actually giving me a chance now… I don’t have to depend on luck anymore! HYUNG!!! This time I really just might win!!!”

Jeongguk is looking at him with stars in his eyes.

Well, no really, it’s just the tears that are making his eyes shine like that.

“Sh-she calls you all… cumnoisseurs?” Seokjin stutters.

Jeongguk puffs out his chest. “Isn’t she the most creative?”

Seokjin can barely believe his eyes as he turns back to the post. “She wants you to… to… frost her cupcakes? With your...your— icing bags?”

With every word, Seokjin’s voice reaches a higher pitch, until his voice almost breaks on the last word. This is… this is an absolute insult to the pastry chefs who shed blood sweat and tears trying to hone their respected craft. Who spend hours in the kitchen trying to whip up that perfect batch of soft, fluffy and white meringues for their macarons, break their backs trying to ice their cupcakes flawlessly, only for all of it to be turned into some kind of lewd, sexual innuendo by some cam girl.

His face is red with rage. His ears are burning. Seokjin is sputtering with indignance. But he can’t find a single word to say.

“… do you even have that kind of money?” He finally spits out.

All at once, Jeon Jeongguk deflates like a soufflé taken out of the oven too soon.

Seokjin feels a little better seeing this. Who the hell does meringuebaby even think she is—

“I’ll find a way,” Jeongguk is wiping away his tears with one hand, brow set into a determined frown that has Seokjin feeling a little nervous. Whenever he gets this look, it’s a sign that Jeon Jeongguk is about to do something extremely stupid, incredibly reckless and most likely life-endangering. Like that time he fell for that online scam by a Nigerian Princess promising inheritance of the throne in exchange for a few dick pics.

“Wh-what are you going to do?” Seokjin glances at Jeongguk nervously as the youngest pushes himself to his feet with resolution, taking a seat in his desk chair once more.

“I’m going to…” Jeongguk takes a deep breath as he wipes the last of his tears away, clicking open a new browser in his computer. “I’m going to find a part-time job.”

Well. That’s certainly not what Seokjin was expecting. He lets out a sigh of relief. “As long as it makes you happy, Kook-ah. As long as you’re happy.”

Seokjin turns away with a niggling worry in the back of his mind as he hears Jeongguk swear under his breath.

“What the fuck? $250,000 for a kidney??”

♡

The guy beside you keeps sighing. All throughout the lecture, he is scrolling rapidly on his computer, obviously not taking any notes whatsoever. Normally, you would be more than a bit annoyed at being distracted, but today you’re not in any mood to listen either.

Yesterday night you posted the first three top bidders on your page. Strangely enough, and dare you say to your disappointment, jackedasjeon is nowhere to be found. He hasn’t even made a bid on your page. Currently at the top is cherry_chim013 with a bid of 2500 coins, and handfulofhobi is a few places down with a bid of 1,000 coins.

The lecturer announces a five-minute break, and the guy beside you sighs once more. You turn to him with a concerned look, peeking at his screen. “Something wrong?”

He turns to you in slight surprise, black curly hair ruffled and with sleep still in his eyes. “Wh- oh. Nothing. It’s just… why does finding a part-time job have to be so damn hard?”

He slouches in his seat and juts his bottom lip out. You feel a pang of sympathy for him. Before you discovered this cam girl gig, you were in his exact position. Scouring the school’s part time job listing for something that is manageable with a full load of classes, yet pays decently. It’s an almost impossible feat.

“Tuition fee, huh?” You sigh and pat his back in solidarity. “This time of the semester always comes around way too quickly.”

“Uh… yeah… tuition fee’s a goddamn piece of shit,” he says as he rubs the back of his neck with a nervous laugh.

“How much are you short?” You rest your chin on your hand.

“Um…” he bites his lower lip as he meets your eyes, and it strikes you that you’ve never seen such round, innocent doe eyes before. “About… $550 maybe? Or more? I… I don’t know.”

He seems to be in a sorry state— jittery and lacking sleep. Poor thing probably stayed up all night worrying about how to pay his fee; he’s so out of it right now that he can barely even remember how much more he needs. You can empathise with that all too well.

“Di- do you have any good part time jobs to recommend?” He suddenly turns to you, sitting upright in his seat.

You peer at his computer again, garnering his name from his login at the top of the school’s webpage. “Jeongguk, right?”

“Yeah—“ He follows your gaze to his screen, and then he looks at the cover of your notebook. “Any part time gigs to recommend, ______?”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t,” you say truthfully. In fact, this was the entire reason why you resorted to being a cam girl in the first place. It’s just impossible to get by with a part time job that pays so meagrely. “You could… you could tutor? I don’t know of any students you could teach though…”

“Forget it,” Jeongguk says glumly, sinking down in his seat. “Did you know the black market buys kidneys for $250,000?”

“Dude, that’s way too much suffering to go through,” you shake your head vehemently. “I mean, I could never do that.”

“You’re right,” Jeongguk sighs as he mutters to himself, “it’s impossible to get that done in 2 days anyway.”

“Why not try something less painful? Like donating blood!” You turn to him with a sudden brainwave. “It’s for a good cause, and its relatively painless too!”

Jeongguk only shakes his head. “I can’t. I was just getting over a flu earlier this week, and I’m still finishing up the antibiotics…”

You sink back into your chair, wracking your brain in thought. “Then… what about… I know this sounds crazy, but… donating sperm? Like, become a sperm donor?”

Jeongguk immediately rejects your idea. “What? No way. My sperm is way too precious for me to just pour it down the drain like that. Besides, if I do that, then I might not have enough for—“

He stops talking suddenly, and his face grows really red. The tips of his ears follow suit, and you think it’s actually kind of adorable, despite how he seems to be a little simple minded.

“Awww. Does someone want to be a daddy someday?” You grin at him, watching his face grow even redder. “You’ll still have enough sperm even if you donate! Did you know your balls make several million sperm a day— about 1,500 a second??”

Jeongguk is a choking, stuttering mess as he turns away from you and your wholesomeness. There’s a whole other reason why he treasures each and every drop of his cum, and definitely not for the reason you think. Though he wouldlike to have kids someday, but that is entirely besides the point.

You are still going on and on about how much sperm he has in his balls right now, and to his horror, hearing you talk about his balls and his sperm and his cum is actually making him grow harder and harder by the second… if he doesn’t do something to shut you up, soon he’ll have a raging boner right in the middle of a lecture.

“I’ll consider it!” He blurts out, and you stop mid-sentence.

“See, I told you it was a great idea!” You are all smiles, patting him on the back. “Let me know how it goes, friend!”

You grin at him, genuinely happy that he decided to consider your suggestion.

And that’s how you and Jeon Jeongguk become friends.

♡

jackedasjeon’s bid is still nowhere to be seen on the second night. You’re getting a little more worried now, especially since the cherry_chim013’s top bid has now been replaced by kingcrabjoonie with 3000 coins.

You would have thought that he definitely wouldn’t miss out on this chance, seeing as how desperate he’s been lately. Clicking over to his profile out of curiosity, you see that he was last online a few hours ago, but yet he still hasn’t made any bids. Perhaps he’s waiting for the very last day?

Or maybe he’s just some poor lonely guy who doesn’t have that much money at his disposal in such a short notice. A part of you begins to feel bad for making your subscribers pay instead of holding a lucky draw like you always do, but you desperately need the cash.

Besides, doing this would weed out all the broke college students and leave only those with a stable income. You’re well aware that guys your age, guys in the same class as you even, watch your streams, but from a very practical point of view, these guys tend to donate in small amounts, and if you depend on them for a living, you’re out of luck.

After lingering on his profile for a few more minutes, you sigh and close the page entirely, pushing all thoughts of jackedasjeon out of your mind as you force yourself to concentrate on your five-page paper due tomorrow.

♡

“Hey, did you see Jeon today?”

Yoongi plucks out one side of his earphones, currently in the midst of rearranging one of his songs, when Seokjin pokes his head into the room. He glances at the clock and realises that it’s almost dawn. Yoongi rubs his eyes sleepily and stares at the older man, dressed in workout gear and presumably about to head to the gym and pretend to work out, return drenched in sweat (read: splash himself with water in the washroom at the gym) and call it a day.

“Don’t know. He didn’t come back again?” Yoongi saves his work once, twice, and three times.

“No. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about what that brat does, but…” Seokjin’s voice trails off. “He’s up to something. I just know it. Last I heard was that he needs some six hundred bucks for that cam girl website or whatever—“

“He’ll be fine,” Yoongi says through a barely concealed yawn. “He’s not a kid, you know. Even Jeon Jeongguk has his limits too.”

“I know, but…” Seokjin’s voice is interrupted by the jingling of keys, and then a door opening and closing.

“There, see? He’s back in one piece,” Yoongi points his chin toward the sound of Jeongguk rustling about in the living room, turning back to his computer and pressing play again.

“Yeah, on the outside, but who knows what he’s missing on the inside?” Seokjin mutters to himself as Jeongguk drags his feet down the hallway, looking much more worse for wear than when he started out that morning.

“What happened to you?” Seokjin asks, half dreading the answer. “You didn’t… you still have both your kidneys right? Your liver? Your heart?”

“Your brain?” Yoongi pipes up, not even sparing a glance from his screen. “Oh wait. I forgot you didn’t have that one in the first place.”

“Hyung, you’re the one who doesn’t have a heart,” Jeongguk retorts back, but there’s no bite to his bark at all. The youngest can’t stop yawning, and his eyes can’t stay open for more than a few seconds. “I got it. Hyung, I got it.”

“Got what?” Seokjin asks, flabbergasted, but then Jeongguk pulls out a thick wad of cash. There must be at least $300 there. “Oh my god. You robbed a bank.”

Yoongi glances at what Jeongguk is brandishing proudly for a brief second. “You idiot. If he robbed a bank, he would have stolen way more than that.”

“I got an advance payment at my part-time job, and went to ask for a student loan,” Jeongguk says, his eyes opening wide enough with his signature sparkle for just a moment. “Boss made me work the graveyard shift even though no one in their right mind would want to buy furniture in the middle of the night before he would give me next month’s pay.” Jeongguk is puffing his chest out as he counts his money, grinning uncontrollably. “I can’t believe it was that easy. All my problems are solved!”

Seokjin watches the youngster kiss the wad of cash in his hands. “Kook-ah… you know that loans have to be repaid, right…?”

Just then, Yoongi speaks at the same time, tilting his head towards Jeongguk with mild interest. “Aren’t you still short? The highest bid on meringuebaby’s page as of last night is now 3000 coins. Meaning you need $600.”

Yoongi is casually examining his fingernails as he says this, and Seokjin turns to him in confusion. “Wait, how do you know what the top bid is?”

Seokjin’s mind is racing, and he comes to only one conclusion.

“Fuck, the bid only closes tonight and it’s already $600??” Jeongguk groans as he stares wide-eyed at the stack of cash in his hands. “I only have just enough, provided it doesn’t go up any further.”

“I could lend you some first,” Yoongi says with his eyes still on his screen, and Jeongguk lights up like a Christmas tree.

“Really, hyung? Oh my god. You have no idea how much it would mean to me!” Jeongguk is all smiles once more.

The conversation is moving faster than Seokjin can comprehend.

“On one condition,” Yoongi turns around with his arms crossed. “I want to send her my cum too.”

“No way!” Jeongguk explodes in a ball of indignance. “The rules are clear. Only one person’s cum and it has to be from the person who won the bid! That’s cheating, hyung!!!”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to,” Yoongi shrugs indifferently as he turns back to his computer. “It’s not my loss.”

“I could never do that to meringuebaby,” Jeongguk says with clenched fists as he places one over his heart. “It would be like lying to her!”

Yoongi only snorts and mumbles something about being ‘totally whipped’ under his breath that Seokjin can’t quite catch. But then, all of a sudden, Jeongguk is turning to him with those puppy eyes and a pouting lower lip.

“Hyung, you have cash, don’t you? Can’t I borrow some? I promise I’ll pay you back,” Jeongguk says with reverence.

“I… um… I don’t get what’s…” Seokjin can only stutter, entirely overwhelmed by the past few minutes to form a coherent response. Yoongi visits this seedy little cam site too?? This meringuebaby person is earning just how muchas a scam girl??

“I’ll wash your dishes for three months, even during your baking practices,” Jeongguk throws in desperately.

And that seals the deal. As much as Seokjin loves baking, he absolutely hates the washing up. Not to mention when there are multiple icing tips, multiple mixing bowls, multiple trays… just thinking about it makes him feel exhausted already.

On top of that, he does have a rather large order coming up… having Jeongguk do the washing would make things so much easier.

So against the more rational part of his brain, he sighs and takes out his phone. “How much more do you need?”

♡

On the last night, when you log on to check the bids at exactly 10pm, your heart skips a beat when you see who is occupying the top slot.

“Oh my god, that crazy bastard really did it,” you mutter to yourself when you see that the top bid is way ahead of the second place winner. jackedasjeon had only placed his bid just two minutes ago, and also ensured that no one else could outdo him by bidding 4000 coins.

While a part of you is overjoyed at the extra income, you also wonder why someone would bid that much more than necessary. Perhaps this jackedasjeon person is really desperate… who are you to judge? You push the thought aside and make a new post to officially announce him as the winner, and see that the coins are transferred into your account. Then you send him a private message with details such as the address of your PO box that he should send the package too, as well as a few other administrative matters like how to securely wrap his package, what date he should send it by, and other things including the need for him to get officially tested and screened for any diseases and include the results in the package.

Not like you’ll actually need it anyway, but all the better to add to the realism.

Once you click send, you navigate to your account page to cash out all of your hard earned coins, and almost immediately, your phone lights up with a notification from your bank. You’re saved. Thank god for jackedasjeon.

You sigh in relief as you start to write a cheque to pay off your tuition fees.

♡

Jeon Jeongguk is over the moon. He is overjoyed. He is skipping all the way from class back home.

Throwing open the door, he can’t contain his excitement as he heads straight to his room. He opens the private message from you again just to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. The test results should be sent to him by email by today; he’d gone to get tested a few days ago just to make sure that there wouldn’t be any delay. He managed to get a few large, airtight vials as instructed, bubble wrap, and a sturdy cardboard box. The only thing left is…

Jeongguk sighs as he leans back in his chair, unzips his jeans, and starts to look for his favourite porn.

Which leads him to you, of course. More specifically, he begins browsing through some of your highlights videos on your page just to get himself in the mood. Just as he clicks on one where he remembers that you’re talking about your Sailor Moon outfit, he pauses.

Does he really want to do this?

A stupid question, granted all that he had gone through in order to secure the winning bid. But that aside, Jeon Jeongguk pauses. He finally has the chance to send the girl of his dreams something, anything at all. Does he really want to send her a vial of his cum? meringuebaby deserves to be treated way better than that. After all the hours of company and relief that you’ve provided him, Jeongguk feels like it just wouldn’t do to be this impersonal.

And in a way, Jeongguk does feel as if he owes you a word of thanks, at the very least. You made the past year of college slightly more bearable. Every week he has something to look forward to, someone who understands him, someone who makes him feel a little less lonely. Someone who helps him get through the hell that is college.

Then, Jeon Jeongguk realises he doesn’t really want to send you a vial of his cum like some weirdo. He just wants you to know how much he admires you, and sending you cum in the mail definitely isn’t the way to do that.

So he zips himself up again and reaches for some paper and a pen instead. If Yoongi ever found out he was about to do something this lame and sappy, Jeon Jeongguk feels like he would just die, so he double checks and triple checks that the door is locked, before he begins to pour out his feelings to meringuebaby on paper.

An hour passes, two hours, even, Jeongguk has lost track. But five sheets of paper later, he is finally satisfied with the end product as he puts everything into an envelope and drops it into the box. He puts away the unused vials into a drawer, wondering if he’s being an idiot for passing up on this chance.

But no. More than anything else, he wants you to know how he feels about you. How grateful he is that you do what you do. He doesn’t want to be jerking off and just sending you his cum like that. He wants you to know just how much you’ve helped him get through the not so good days. And what better opportunity than this? Maybe you’ll be so touched you’ll even read out his letter during your stream.

He nods to himself, confident of his decision as he seals the cardboard box.

♡

“You got another package,” Irene sings out as she knocks on your door.

You click pause on your online lecture to open the door, only to find your roommate holding a box in her arms.

“This one’s unusually light,” Irene mentions as she comes into your room, setting the box down on your desk. “Should we open it and check what’s inside?”

But you wave her away. “Nah, why bother? It’s gonna be nasty as hell. Even I don’t want to see the stuff. Just tear off the label and toss the package. Or just leave it by the door. I’ll dispose of it properly when I head out.”

“Is this the one that helped you pay your tuition?” She asks curiously as she begins to carefully tear the label off the box. “This ‘jackedasjeon’?”

“Yeah, he’s a platinum subscriber, but he’s never won before,” you say as you bring the box outside and leave it by the door. Come to think of it, it is unusually light as compared to the previous packages that you received. But it can’t be anything much, seeing as you’re going to toss it out anyway, so you don’t think much of it as you head back to your room to get a headstart on preparing for your stream.

“Should I do something special? He paid a lot for this,” you muse as Irene starts to get out the supplies to help you mix today’s batch of fake cum. “I was thinking of throwing in a freebie. You know, I saw one streamer selling the water that she soaked herself in while doing her stream. She bottled it up and added glitter and some food dye or some shit like that. Made it look like unicorn tears and called it her ‘Gamer Girl Bath Water’.”

Irene wrinkles her nose as she pours out some lube from a giant 2 litre bottle and starts adding some water to it to adjust the consistency. “That’s gross. I know I’m saying this as I’m literally mixing cum right now, but still.”

“You gotta give her credit where credit is due though,” you say at your reflection in the mirror as you tie up your hair and start your skincare routine first. “She’s creative as hell. Why didn’t I think of that first? Now I’ll have to come up with something else. Like selling my worn underwear or something.”

“Are you crazy?” Irene turns to you with her spoon still dripping onto the counter. “That’d cost you an arm and a leg!! You’ll barely break even like that.”

“You’re right…” you sigh in resignation. “What does a girl have to do these days to make some money??”

Irene is silent for a moment as she concentrates on adjusting the texture the way you taught her the very first time, while you put on your base layer of makeup.

“Is this okay? Too thin? What kind of cum do you think jackedasjeon would have?” Irene asks thoughtfully as she scoops some of the mixture onto her spoon and lets it drip back into the container.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” you reply, brows furrowed in concentration as you focus on getting your eyeliner just right. “I guess he seems like he might have a pretty thick load? He does have a nice cock. And nice arms. But I guess he can be kind of childish sometimes. Maybe thin it out a little more.”

Irene suppresses a giggle as she does as she’s told. Every time the two of you cook up that week’s batch, you always play a guessing game and make up facts about the mystery man whose cum you’re supposed to be playing with that week.

“Come help me with this,” you turn from the mirror with your eyes closed, holding out your false eyelashes. Irene is the only one who can get them on you, and without them, your disguise would not be complete.

“I have no idea what I’d do without you,” you sigh as Irene is putting the finishing touches on your hair and makeup an hour later. “Where would I find a roommate who mixes fake cum for me, and dresses me up to scam men on the internet?”

Irene giggles as she pats your cheek with a grin. “All done. Now go and earn us some money, meringuebaby.”

♡

“Hello!! I missed you guys so much! How are my cumnoisseurs today?” Your voice, bright and cheery, fills the entire room as Jeon Jeongguk settles into his desk chair, but he can’t seem to sit still. He is brimming with excitement, his heart is racing and it feels as if it might explode out of his chest.

You look beautiful as usual, dressed with your pink wig and Sailor Moon outfit, waving your star tipped wand about as you do your usual greetings, reading out the names of your top subscribers. Today you are surrounded by cupcakes with pastel pink, power blue, and snow white frosting on three tiered cake stands, and you reach for one cupcake, scooping a bit of the icing onto your finger and sucking on it.

“Aren’t they pretty?” You are scooping even more icing onto your finger, savouring the sweetness on your tongue with a cute little moan. Jeongguk feels the blood shoot straight to his cock upon hearing it. “I have some pink macarons here too! I decided to get these because I was craving something sweet today… don’t they look good?”

Jeongguk rushes to type his comment, adjusting himself with one hand as his jeans grow even tighter.

“I’m even sweeter than these?” You giggle as you read his comment, and Jeongguk feels a surge of adrenaline as he watches you wink at the camera as you continue. “I think that’s my line, jackedasjeon. I must admit that I was a little impatient and I had a taste of you earlier… that’s why I was craving something sweet!”

Jeongguk feels his heart seizing up as his eyes are glued to the screen. The words don’t really register in his brain as he watches you bounce up and down in excitement, and then he is distracted by your ample cleavage instead. You would have read his letter by now, right? Is that why you look so happy?

cherry_chim013: you should do a live where you’re in the kitchen cherry_chim013: wearing just an apron cherry_chim013: hehehehe

cherrychim is one perverted fucker. But Jeongguk can’t say that he wouldn’t like to see that visual either. He watches with a stupid goofy smile on his face as you talk a bit more about your day and eat a few cupcakes, getting some of the icing on the corner of your mouth, and Jeongguk wishes he could reach through the screen and help you wipe it off.

“I brought a whisk with me today! I just thought it would fit with today’s theme,” you brandish the utensil and wave it around. “I tried it on myself earlier and… it felt really nice as a massager. At the end of the stream, I’ll be giving it away to this week’s winner!”

Jeongguk watches as you start to use the whisk to play with yourself, running it up and down your body as you play with your own breasts over your bra. He is entranced and absorbed. You push your skirt up to reveal your panties that already have a wet patch on them, and start to rub yourself with the whisk over them. Your cute little moans and whines are getting him harder and harder, and when you push your panties to the side and start to finger yourself, Jeongguk groans audibly.

“Let’s really start the party now, shall we?” You pause with a glance at the camera as you lick your own fingers clean. “This week’s winner is jackedasjeon! Thank you so much for your… generous donation, it was well received!”

You brandish your faithful purple squirting dildo, and accidentally squirt some of the cum onto a nearby cupcake.

“Oops! How careless of me!” You gasp as you pick up the cupcake and scoop up the icing, with the cum on it, and put it in your mouth. “Tastes like salted caramel now,” you giggle.

Jeongguk swears under his breath as he watches you taste the cum stained cupcakes. He was never really into foodplay, but watching you like this, he just might reconsider.

“It’s supposed to go inside me, not on the cupcakes!” You are giggling as you scold yourself. “Sorry about that, jackedasjeon. But since you sent me so much, there’s more than enough cum to go inside me.”

At first, Jeon Jeongguk is far too horny to hear what you actually said. But after a few moments, the words register in his mind, and he frowns in confusion.

“Wh-what?” Jeongguk says aloud even as you start to suck the head of the dildo, squirting some of the cum out messily around your lips as you go. “But I didn’t… how can this be?”

There must be some sort of mistake. Jeongguk didn’t even jerk off that day, let alone send you any cum in that package, so how can you still be streaming and thanking him like this? He opens the drawers at his desk to make sure that the vials are still there. They are sitting at the back of his desk, untouched from the last time he left them.

You are showing the camera ‘his’ cum now on your tongue, making a great show of playing with it and swallowing it. After a bit, you start to tease yourself with it, playing with your clit and as Jeongguk watches the cum drip onto your cunt, his erection just dies down completely.

As if to confirm his suspicions, he watches the cum drip down your chin, and it look suspicious. Even if he had somehow mistakenly sent you his cum, the cum that you are playing with right now is most definitely fake. In fact, it looks just like lube wth some water added to thin it out.

If he didn’t send you any cum… and you are still streaming as if you received it in the mail…

This can only mean one thing.

Jeon Jeongguk has been scammed.

♡♡♡

[kane-and-griffin]

Hey so I known you don't particularly ship bellarke, but what do you think of the bellarke/kabby parallels? I'm only asking because I'm curious to see what the other side of the fandom thinks?

I actually do ship Bellarke!  Kabby is my #1 but I’ve always been invested in Clarke and Bellamy’s relationship.  I have very strong opinions about Kabby/Bellarke parallels and have talked about this at LENGTH on Meta Station, where @reblogginhood, my co-host and best friend, is a ride-or-die Bellarke shipper, so most of the time I feel like I have dual citizenship through Erin (and vice versa, since the Kabby fandom loves her too).  We both love both those ships, and we both love all four of those characters, just in rearranged order, and we like to yell about this a LOT.

I’ve meta’d on this before a number of different times, but I’m too lazy to go back and dig up old posts, so here goes.

First of all, if you are a Bellarke shipper (are you a Bellarke shipper? Am I reading this ask correctly?  HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIIIDE), the most important thing I want to say in aid of positive fandom-to-fandom relations is that the phrase “Kabby/Bellarke parallels” has begun to elicit a knee-jerk primal scream reaction among Kabby shippers over the past few months, since we regularly find the Kabby tag full of posts that either describe Kabby as the “old” version of Bellarke, or that it only exists to pave the way for Bellarke, or that the parallels that exist (and they do exist, and we’ll get to that in a second) essentially make Kane and Abby metaphors instead of people who only exist in the narrative to shed light on Bellarke instead of being their own characters with value and storylines of their own.  Articles or blog posts highlighting the things that make Kabby special to Kabby shippers will get reblogged with someone saying “if you change the names, it’s about Bellarke!” or with lengthy meta about how Bellarke had that thing first or that the Kabby version of some particular moment or symbol or metaphor or visual cue or phrase only exists because it will become MORE important later, when it’s attached to Bellarke. 

So I’m frustrated because I love this ask, I love getting this question, I love talking about the relationship among these four characters, but also it’s hard - as you can imagine - to feel like we’re told over and over again that the things we feel make our ship, and these two characters, really special to us, don’t really matter on their own merits.  

Anyway, I’m saying that both A) so the Kabby fandom, where we are perpetually having this conversation, knows MOM’S ON IT, and B) so that you as a Bellarke shipper who seems delightful and asked a great question has some context for why sometimes other asks or posts about this - which aren’t phrased as nicely as yours was - receive a negative response or make Kabby shippers upset.  I think the context is important here, because this has been a BIG thing in our world of late and we’re all a little thin-skinned about it right now.

Okay but that being said LET’S MOVE ON TO THE FUN PART AND TALK ABOUT CHARACTER PARALLELS BECAUSE I LOVE CHARACTER PARALLELS AND I THINK ABOUT THESE ONES ALL THE TIME AND I’M FULL OF OPINIONS AND YOU ASKED FOR THEM SO YOU’RE GONNA GET ‘EM

oh wait I found another post where I already did this STILL GONNA YELL ABOUT IT THOUGH, MY HOUSE MY RULES

Okay so FIRST OF ALL let me just real quick BLOW YOUR MIND with my Kabby/Bellarke parallels theory, which is that the REAL parallel is Abby/Bellamy vs. Clarke/Kane and everyone else has it backwards. 

I think the easy, default place most people go to when we talk about this is to contrast Kane and Bellamy - the self-doubting, tortured, wannabe martyrs who carry the weight of every sin on their shoulders well past the point of reason - with Abby and Clarke - the resourceful mother and daughter who never give up and will drag all of humanity kicking and screaming to their salvation if it’s the LAST THING THEY FUCKING DO.  And I think there’s a lot of interesting character stuff to be mined there, for sure; I think Kane and Bellamy’s parallel redemption arcs are some of the best stuff they’ve done in the whole series (until 3A Bellamy regressed back to an asshole but let’s skip past that for the moment), illustrating the way that for both of them, the Culling was really a turning point where they realized that they will forever carry the burden of having been complicit in that massive loss of innocent life (Bellamy for throwing away Raven’s radio and Kane for not waiting like Abby asked him to) which could have been prevented if they had listened to the Griffins.  It’s beautifully executed, even in S1 when these two characters have never interacted onscreen, and it ramps up even more in S2 where we see them meet and immediately butt heads with each other before in S3 developing a real partnership.  (Which then got torn to shreds.  I’m still bitter over 3A Kellamy  I’M GONNA NEED A HUG IN S4 JASON DO U HEAR ME) (I mean I need Kane to hug Bellamy, not like I’m requesting a hug from Jason, TO BE CLEAR).  And I think the mother/daughter parallels are drawn beautifully as well, especially in S1 where we see Abby on the Ark and Clarke on the ground filling similar roles and working towards the same goal, barreling through the opposition however they must.

BUT.  If we’re talking about which characters are MOST SIMILAR, then I think you CANNOT get away from the reality that the parallels are actually gender-flipped.

Clarke has a lot of her mom in her, clearly, as well as a lot of her dad.  But she’s not actually the kind of leader her mom is.  She’s the kind of leader Kane is.  Abby and Bellamy are the ones with the crowd charisma and the stubborn recklessness; Clarke and Kane are the cool-headed, deliberate strategic thinkers.  Bellamy and Abby have quick minds and no fear and will do absolutely anything, no matter how insane, to protect the people they love.  You can map, beat-for-beat, so many of the things Bellamy does for Octavia onto the things Abby does for Clarke, and vice versa.  Abby sneaking the kids out the back door with guns in the middle of the night to go find Clarke? Bellamy would do that in a second.  Bellamy sneaking onto the dropship to make sure Octavia doesn’t go to earth unprotected?  ABBY AF.  They both begin the show as people who are fiercely focused on keeping the person they love most safe, and it makes them blind to ancillary consequences.  Bellamy will fight anyone.  Abby will tell any lie.  There is no such thing as too far, when the person you love is at stake.  WE know Abby’s hope that the kids are alive is borne out by fact, but NO ONE ELSE ON THE ARK KNOWS THAT.  From Kane’s point of view, she’s being as unreasonable and reckless as Clarke thinks Bellamy is when she yells at him about the radio.  Or think about Abby sneaking Bellamy and Finn out the back door with guns to go hunt for Clarke, even knowing she would get in trouble for it.  You know who else would do THAT EXACT SAME THING in those circumstances?  BELLAMY BLAKE.  I bet they cooked up that scheme together off-camera.  So what I think is interesting for both of them is how their circle expands over the course of three seasons to change the way they are as leaders, and the ways in which their recklessness is tempered by their leadership partners. 

I’m fascinated by the relationship between Clarke and Kane, and I hope we get more of it in S4.  I heard rumblings that they go together to find Kenza, the Nightblood scout, and I’m hoping we get a lil’ dad/daughter road trip bonding, because I think they have a really strong connection and they share a similar leadership brain.  Where Abby and Bellamy are quick and passionate and make snap decisions, Clarke and Kane are more calculating.  They’re thinking in the big picture and the longer term.  Floating 300 people to save the whole Ark, and irradiating the residents of Mt. Weather to save all the Sky People, are identical decision-making processes; not everyone can live, someone is going to have to die, so how to we map out the most effective path where the fewest of my people die as possible for maximum survival?  Whereas there’s nothing Bellamy wouldn’t burn to the ground to save Octavia.  Leadership isn’t PERSONAL for Clarke and Kane, not right off the bat.  It’s about the numbers.  It’s about as many people as possible surviving.  And so sometimes you have to let the bomb fall on Tondc, because letting those people die is the only way to give your own people the chance to live, even though Abby “there has to be another way” Griffin finds that notion so appalling she can hardly even recognize her daughter in that moment.  But you know who understood it immediately, and didn’t judge her?  Kane.  Kane and Abby’s scene underground in 2x13 is such a beautiful, crucial moment in their relationship, but it’s also the moment the show really begins to lean in on this idea that Kane can see Clarke more clearly than Abby can, because she’s Abby’s baby girl and Abby is still trying to protect her from harm - including from the harm of having to make, and then face the consequences of, terrible decisions.  But Kane is the one who tells Abby not to diminish either Clarke or Lexa’s leadership skills just because they’re young.  Kane is the one who calmly talks Clarke down when they’re trying to figure out who poisoned Lexa’s drink, using the same kind of coolheaded, rational language we can easily imagine Clarke using to one of the delinquents if the shoe was on the other foot.  And so it makes perfect sense that it would be Clarke and Kane who make the strategic decision, together, that Skaikru joining the Grounder Alliance is the smartest long-term tactical decision - a notion we see that Abby and Bellamy don’t like, because they, emotional thinkers that they are, still haven’t forgiven Lexa or decided they can trust her again.

I’m really interested in where the lines end up getting drawn in S4, but it definitely seems to me, from the bits and pieces we’ve seen and heard, that Clarke has some kind of crazy-ass save-the-world plan that other people think is too reckless or too dangerous or will have too high a casualty rate, and that the group sort of divides itself into factions based on who is willing to get on board and who is resisting (or just giving up and waiting to die).  And it does seem, from the trailer, that Kane and Abby are using the same language Clarke is using.  We’ve also heard that Bellamy and Clarke are back as a power duo again, so my guess is he’ll be on the squad too.  So what I’m really excited about, because we’ve never really had this before, is the four of them working together as a co-leadership team.  I want to see Chancellor Kane and Ambassador Clarke negotiating with Roan and Luna.  I want Abby and Bellamy working together in Arkadia to convince their people to go along with Clarke’s plan.  I want Clarke and Abby to talk about Lexa and Jake, about how you go on with a hole in your heart and how to grieve and heal.  I want Kane and Bellamy to talk through all the things that happened in S3, how Bellamy almost got Kane executed because he stopped trusting him, how ALIE made Kane almost murder Bellamy in cold blood, and where they go from here.  I want us to see the parallel relationship dynamics - the big-hearted, loving Griffins who are used to giving and receiving affection reaching out to the isolated protector men who are still getting used to the idea that they have a place they belong and people who care about them. 

TO CONCLUDE: Abby is Bellamy and Clarke is Kane and they’re a big beautiful leadership power squad family and I love them all with my whole heart THANK U AND GOODNIGHT

[qkantyjk-blog]

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[racingtoaredlight]

Cancellation Saturday: Degenerate’ guide to college football tv watch ‘em ups for week 3, 2018 season

We’re slowly creeping our way to actual competitions. I don’t want to pretend that matters much to me in the early season. I like the college football version of preseason.

This list of games is ripped from a site that may or may not have updated their schedule for the hurricane. Guess we’ll all find out together!

Saturday, September 15

Matchup                                                   Time (ET)              TV/Mobile

Ball State at Indiana                                12:00pm                    BTN

My watching has regressed this season to the point where I couldn’t tell you if there’s even one NFL prospect in this game. Indiana usually has at least one so, uh, keep an eye on that.

Florida State at Syracuse                        12:00pm         ABC/ESPN/2/U

Last I checked FSU was a somewhat dodgy 3-point favorite. This is not because Syracuse has gotten better.

Hawaii at Army                                          12:00pm                 CBSSN

Is the Cole McDonald magic a season-long phenomenon or is it just a fluke offense doing the work for him? Beating Army won’t prove he’s good but losing might prove he’s a fluke.

Kent State at Penn State                           12:00pm                  FS1

I put a Penn State guy in the RTARLsman rankings in the obvious hope that they lose to Kent State.

Miami (FL) at Toledo                                   12:00pm        ABC/ESPN/2/U

The consensus among professional gamblers is that Toledo +10.5 is easy money. The “objective” rankings on SB Nation actually have Toledo ranked higher than Miami. Miami’s offensive line is trying to get Malik Rosier killed and Ahmmon Richards is out with an “injury” sustained while yelling at Rosier in the locker room. Canes by 50.

Murray State at Kentucky                           12:00pm               SECNA

Kentucky broke their losing steak to Florida so it would be quite fitting if they lose today.

Oklahoma at Iowa State                              12:00pm         ABC/ESPN/2/U

This would be so much more appealing to me if Rodney Anderson hadn’t torn his ACL. As it stands it’s probably a good matchup that could turn into a dogfight but I don’t plan on watching any of it.

Rhode Island at UConn                                12:00pm           SNY/ESPN3

UConn’s program is about the same as Kansas’s program.

Rutgers at Kansas                                        12:00pm                   FSN

Rutgers may very well be back on the Kansas level, too.

Temple at Maryland                                      12:00pm                   BTN

I understand the way the early results have gone but Maryland -16 still sounds crazy to me. Go Owls, in any case.

Troy at Nebraska                                           12:00pm                 BTN

Here’s a fun statement that can be more or less objectively quantified to be true: Scott Frost inherited a better roster at UCF than the roster he inherited this year at Nebraska. To wit: this year’s UCF seniors were all there before he signed on to coach them.

Tulane at UAB                                                 12:00pm              Facebook

I know I’ve been telling UAB to drop football again but this is kind of a beauty. Damn facebook to hell, though.

UCF at North Carolina                                    12:00pm           ABC/ESPN/2/U

I’m pretty sure this game is at least postponed?

East Carolina at Virginia Tech                         12:20pm              ACCN

ECU is back to non-cupcake status now. Maybe. They killed UNC last week. Maybe that isn’t proof of anything.

Georgia Tech at Pitt                                         12:30pm               RSN

A game between two teams that should have won last week.

UC Davis at Stanford                                       2:00pm               Pac-12N

On the one hand Stanford should score 100 against UC Davis. On the other hand David Shaw isn’t a big fan of scoring 30 or more points.

Vanderbilt at Notre Dame                                2:30pm                 NBC

A game between rape-apologist program where nobody wins unless Brian Kelly dies.

Ohio at Virginia                                                 3:00pm             ACCNExtra

ACCNE extra getting off to a late start today. UVA is a 5.5 point-and-dropping favorite as I write this. I don’t know about the points but the O/U has gone up by 6.5 which seems odd.

Boise State at Oklahoma State                      3:30pm         ABC/ESPN/2/U

Brett Rypien has escaped his timeshare and is now a contender to go in the 1st round next year. That still seems a little high to me but he does have a ver similar gun to his dad. Who was either undrafted or like a 12th round pick and took about 5 years to develop into an NFL starter.

BYU at Wisconsin                                            3:30pm            ABC/ESPN/2

Hornibrook is going to win the Heisman. I don’t like it much more than you. I’m lying. I fucking love it. All he needs to do is rack up 13 QB wins by the time voting is closed.

Central Michigan at NIU                                 3:30pm                ESPN Plus

I don’t do MACtion but there are a few NFL prospects in this game.

Duke at Baylor                                                3:30pm                    FS1

A true conundrum.

Georgia Southern at Clemson                       3:30pm        ABC/ESPN/2/U

Tune in early if you want to see the guys you’ve heard of.

Lehigh at Navy                                                3:30pm                CBSSN

Navy hasn’t looked great so far this year but this is a trash game so maybe they can work out the kinks here?

LSU at Auburn                                                3:30pm                  CBS

Whoever wins this gets to be wildly overrated for the rest of the season.

Miami (Ohio) at Minnesota                             3:30pm                 BTN

Minnesota -13 don’t make no kind of damn sense.

SMU at Michigan                                             3:30pm                BTN

If Harbaugh doesn’t beat the spread I might join the pitchforks.

Southern Miss at Appalachian State             3:30pm          ESPN Plus

App State deserves to lose every game for the way they blew a sure victory over Penn State.

USF at Illinois                                                    3:30pm                BTN

I feel like Illinois should have good recruiting grounds but they’ve had like 5 decent seasons in my lifetime. 

West Virginia at NC State                                 3:30pm        ABC/ESPN/2/U

Pretty sure this is not happening today.

Colorado State at Florida                                 4:00pm            SECN

The McElwain Game! He’s gone and already mostly forgotten, which is a shame because of that one time he humped a shark.

Eastern Kentucky at Bowling Green               4:00pm           ESPN3

Not the best use of your time but my whole point is to talk you into watching every single game so watch this and report back. Wait, ESPN3 still exists? I thought it was ESPN+ now. They’re different things?

Houston at Texas Tech                                     4:00pm            FOX

Texas Tech throws early, often, and poorly. If Ed Oliver is going to get an eye catching number of sacks for the year this game is the key.

North Texas at Arkansas                                  4:00pm          SECNA

This is a classic SEC out of conference game.

UTSA at Kansas State                                      4:00pm             FSN

The Bill Snyder magic may in fact be gone. Take UTSA +21.5 in my honest opinion.

Wofford at Wyoming                                        4:00pm             MWN

I actually like Wyoming’s stupid uniforms for what little it’s worth.

New Hampshire at Colorado                           5:00pm        P12N MTN

This is a pretty bad week overall.

San Jose State at Oregon                                5:00pm            Pac-12N

I’ve got to tune in to see Justin Herbert but he might get pulled before the end of the 1st quarter.

Bethune-Cookman at Florida Atlantic            6:00pm            Stadium

There are people in the world who really believe that Lane Kiffin deserves a high level D-1A job. That’s a pretty bad idea.

Eastern Michigan at Buffalo                             6:00pm          ESPN Plus

Give Tyree Jackson a shot. I love the velocity he puts on his throws even if his WRs are horrible and drop most of them.

Idaho State at California                                   6:00pm         P12N BAY

Idaho State’s first year back in 1-AA has featured 3 games against 1-A teams to start the series.

Old Dominion at Charlotte                                6:00pm            ESPN3

This is crap all the way through.

Alabama at University of Mississippi               7:00pm             ESPN

Bama’s weakness if they have one is the inexperienced secondary. Mississippi’s strength is 4 top-50 level pass catching prospects. The Tide should roll anyway but I won’t be that surprised if Mississippi makes a game of it.

Alabama A&M at Cincinnati                              7:00pm            ESPN3

A very evenly matched watch ‘em up.

Arkansas State at Tulsa                                     7:00pm           CBSSN

This is the kind of stupid game that I write these posts for. Of course it’s on CBS Sports.

Campbell at Coastal Carolina                            7:00pm           ESPN3

What the shit is this crap?

Delaware State at Western Michigan                7:00pm        ESPN Plus

And this?

Oregon State at Nevada                                      7:00pm          ESPN3

And this, too, really but there is a little bit of a soft spot in my heart for Nevada as the birthplace of the pistol.

Texas State at South Alabama                            7:00pm       ESPN Plus

Explosive matchup of two teams that grab 1-star recruits in states where starting for a full season in high school gets you 3 stars.

Middle Tennessee at Georgia                              7:15pm          ESPN2

MTSU is a relatively good OOC matchup for an SEC team but we’re now in a Georgia age of college football and MTSU is going to be slaughtered.

Akron at Northwestern                                         7:30pm            BTN

MAC is the minor league version of Big XII ball. I can’t believe y’all watch this shit. Oh, right, Northwestern is actually a B1G team. Close enough.

Louisiana at Mississippi State                             7:30pm          SECNA

If the “State” was on the other side of the vs. this would be a great game. In real life it is not going to be a great game.

Marshall at South Carolina                                  7:30pm          ESPNU

How has Marshall looked this year so far?

Missouri at Purdue                                                7:30pm            BTN

Mizzou at Purdue is fun to say. Drew Lock is pretty good but I have the Missouri offense.

Northern Iowa at Iowa                                          7:30pm            BTN

Do it for the kids UNI!

ULM at Texas A&M                                                7:30pm          SECN

This might get a spot in the rotation. I’m kind of intrigued by aTm under Jimbo Fisher. I don’t think I have any expectations for him.

UMass at FIU                                                         7:30pm    beIN SPORTS

Come on, Butch, get this Panther ship righted!

WKU at Louisville            ��                                     7:30pm            RSN

Petrino Bowl! This might actually be a pretty good game. Louisville kind of sucks this year.

Eastern Washington at Washington State          8:00pm       Pac-12N

There’s something weird about this game but I forget what it is. So keep that in mind.

New Mexico at New Mexico State                       8:00pm     AggieVision

The winner gets to be New Mexico State for the next 12 months. The loser has to be regular New Mexico.

Ohio State at TCU                                                   8:00pm         ABC

I’ve been feeling the Dwayne Haskins hype and it either goes through the roof after this one or Urban Meyer will have to play savior when he comes back next week.

USC at Texas                                                            8:00pm        FOX

Great brand name matchup of secretly (or not) bad coaches. USC has a great freshman QB and Texas has really nice uniforms. The rest of this is garbage.

Washington at Utah                                                10:00pm       ESPN

The weird front-loaded schedule rolls on for the Pac-12. This would be an incredible game in November. It’s very odd in September.

Arizona State at San Diego State                          10:30pm     CBSSN

Herm Edwards is really good, guys! He’s got his team ranked! He’s going to get blown out by SDSU!

Fresno State at UCLA                                              10:30pm         FS1

At least a little bit interesting. I’ve got a good feeling about Chip Kelly at UCLA but he’s got a lot of building to do. I think it’s worth watching him flail around trying to find his way.

Southern Utah at Arizona                                        11:00pm      Pac-12N

When will Kevin Sumlin and Khalil Tate get on the same page? Probably never but they should win this game by 80.

Prairie View A&M at UNLV                                        10:00pm         MWN

I went through and did the formatting and started up from the bottom and now I see the times are really fucked. At least a little. This is an objectively bad game. But I do like UNLV’s QB.

UTEP at Tennessee                                                    12:00pm       SECN

Not sure what’s going on here. It’s the last game listed but it says 12pm and it’s in Tennessee. But I can see the reasoning behind scheduling this at midnight to minimize the chances of somebody randomly stumbling upon it and accidentally watching a couple of minutes of it.

[jardingelique]

idk if these are actually 85

TAG GAME!! 85 BLOODY QUESTIONS!!!

(thank you for the tag @mariyagabriyella​)

1. How old are you? 17

2. Favorite scent? orangessss

3. Sun, moon or stars? the moon

4. The book or the movie? book AND THEN movie

5. What’s your zodiac sign? Capricorn

6. How big is your heart? I don’t know, really

7. How old were you when you had your first kiss? I HAVENT HAD IT OMG

8. Tattoos or piercings? tats!!!!!

9. Favorite flower? peonies

10. Favorite animal? dogs 4 lyf esp gr’s

11. Are you happy? I can be when I want to be

12. Favorite song at the moment? Best Friend - Rex Orange County

13. Last movie you watched? Thor: The Dark World ahaha

14. What are you reading right now? angst on angst on angst

15. How old were you when you had your first heartbreak? 17 

16. Something that you love? My art supplies even though it’s been so long since I touched them

16. Something that you hate? That I’m not on a plane to anywhere rn

17. Favorite color? Blue

18. Favorite season? We don’t have it but I like fall

19. Coffee or tea? coffee

20. Favorite food? EOMUK!!!!

21. Something you can’t live without? My books

22. What is it that you are but wish you weren’t? Tired

23. What is it that you are NOT but wish you were? Competitive

24. Do you have a crush at the moment? no ig not

25. Three things you are scared of? butterflies, dying old, not being able to get a job

26. Dream destination? idk... just anywhere my brother wants to go, even if it’s not copenhagen

27. Chocolate or vanilla? choklit mah dude

28. First thing you notice in a person when you see them? their eyes

29. Favorite book/TV series ships? WILL AND JEM LMAO AHAHHA those parababitches

30. What were you doing before this? sleeping

31. Something you’re interested in? the.. idk, nothing right now

32. Do you smoke? used to (on/off tbh)

33. Can you play any instruments? the uke

34. Any talents? nothing other people can do better

35. Have you ever selfharmed? Why? yes, and I only admit it because I don’t want the experience to control me yet I will not say more about it

36. Playing any sports? badminton dati

37. Favorite thing to do in your free time? being torn between being on my laptop and playing w my dog (the latter always wins)

38. What’s your sexual orientation? B I S E X U A L represent

39. What do you prefer: to go to a party or to stay at home? throw the party and not join tbh heh i like being responsible for the entertainment but i dont want to be a part of it, weird innit

40. Are you a pervert? is the sky blue? jk nO IM NOT 

41. Are you optimistic​, pessimistic​ or a realistic​? realist

42. Do you love yourself? so much that I wish I could date myself (bc no one else wants to HAHHAHA)

43. Are you religious? to some extent

44. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? with my dad, the most

45. Favorite fruits? oranges and mangoes

46. What color do you wear the most? I’ve been told I wear a lot of gray

47. Describe your style. weeeeeeeell, I don’t have one, I wear my PJs to any event if I think I can get away w it

48. Favorite desserts? funnily enough, it’s those chinese things.. the bread you dip in condensed milk? i forgot what those are called but those are surreal

49. What was your first job? dont have one Y E T

50. How tall are you? 5'5.5″

51. What motivates you? the hundreds of ways that I can make my family comfortable in life

52. Dogs or cats? idk.. sometimes i want a cat? but I know I’d always get a dog

53. Lipstick or chapstick? i dont.... ._.

54. Favorite Disney princess? i can’t say that i have one? they’re all hella strange

55. Do you have any siblings? yeah 4 of them

56. Favorite holiday? Christmas

57. Are you a more quiet person or do you talk a lot? quier

58. You can undo something from your past, what is it? wala! keep moving forward lang hahaha don’t look back

59. Least favorite food? calamares tf

60. Lucky number? none

61. Favorite mythical creature? the... you know what idk. i kinda like sciron’s turtle (read about it, it’s a greek myth)

62. Which color suits you best? idk but i hate yellow

63. Do you believe in love at first sight? weeeeeeell

64. Eye color? Brown if u really look hard enough

65. How long is your hair? What color is it? short and black 

66. Have you ever tried drugs? hell nah

67. Favorite hair color? his (even though he was a dick, he had good hair)

68. Favorite eye color? still his

69. Are you superstitious? HHAHAHAHAAHAH on some occasions when I wanna freak someone out or some shit

70. What’s your relationship status? single and waiting for the avengers: infinity war

71. Do you believe in soulmates? yeah, mine’s sleeping rn 

72. What does your name mean? oh i know veronica means something in bullfighting, but platon means “broad-shouldered” bc shoutout to plato my great great great great (...) granddaddy

73. Is cheating ever okay? tf u think

74. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? it sometimes sounds like bs but it can be really reasonable

75. Are you mean? yes

76. What’s easier to forgive or to forget? forget, sometimes I just stop caring about it even though it still gets to me... that’s just when I know I haven’t forgiven

77. Do you miss anyone from your past? i dont

78. How are you feeling at the moment? hungry! i wanted to get these q’s all answered before i leave my room and have bfast

79. Are you a romantic person? hopelessly! 

80. Sea or mountain? i dont like the sea but i cant have the mountain w/o throwing in the sea

81. Ever got in trouble with the police? no HAHAHAHA but I’ve been held at gunpoint

82. Can you cook? hella but my friends dk about it

83. Are you allergic to something? bullshit jk

84. Something that surprises you? when someone remembers

TAG AS MANY PPL AS YOU WANT! Enjoy answering :)

@petalpidge

[schultz290]

Wolfenstein 2′s Biggest Flaws Mirror Those of Halo 2

From the moment I finished Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus, I’ve had an uneasy feeling about the game and especially its second half. I was torn between an amazed glee at the game’s strongest moments and a confused disappointment that that glee didn’t really sustain itself until the credits. By the end the game felt cramped, and a lot of the best ideas mentioned in dialogue or in readable pickups didn’t leave that space to be interacted with or even seen. At the same time, boy were those ideas really strong! The KKK running the south? Can’t wait to see that! A Nazi Venus base? How alien and weird will that look, I bet it’ll be way more than just corridors!

What I didn’t realize until just recently is that I’ve felt this way before. Thirteen years before, playing another highly praised but at the same time controversial shooter sequel. My hands gripped the Xbox controller tightly in excitement as Ron Perlman’s voice boomed: “Master Chief, you mind telling me what you’re doing on that ship?” to which Steve Downes dutifully responded: “Sir, finishing this fight.”

At this point it would be hard to describe anything I feel for Halo 2 at this point to be anything other than pure nostalgia, it was a game that gobbled up more hours of my childhood than I can even begin to remember. It was a revolution in online gaming for the time, and was a sequel to a game that I loved and still love. This is to say that the conflicted feelings of disappointment and enjoyment that I had on finishing it had largely faded to the back of my mind until very recently. While watching Lucas Raycevick’s Halo retrospective videos I noticed that he was pulling from a developer’s commentary that had been recorded for Halo 1 and 2 and immediately had to seek them out for myself. Upon watching the Halo 2 commentary (and watching Raycevick’s thorough retrospective) I remembered just how strange and disappointing the second half of Halo 2, and ultimately the game in general had felt to me. The Developers point out contrivances they invented to replace entire cut levels, like characters teleporting to exactly where they’re needed for no reason. The infamous ending was one of these contrivances, a brutal heartbreaking compromise Bungie had made with themselves to get the game released. 

The disjointed and strange second half of Halo 2 now reminds me of the disjointed and strange second half of Wolfenstein 2. In the same way that Halo 2 does Wolfenstein tells instead of shows, teleports characters to where they’re needed, and generally lacks the coherent sense of pacing that makes the first half so strong. The problems begin immediately after B.J. gets his new body. Why do you go to New York to get a Nazi dossier on Horton if Anya and everyone is talking about how the Nazis are purging New Orleans right now. They repeatedly mention how the Nazis are moving in right now and we need to hurry to get to New Orleans immediately or else people will die. But for some reason despite being very invested in saving the people of New Orleans Grace decides it more prudent to stop in New York and have Blazkowicz obtain intelligence on Horton that serves no real purpose in the story. Blazko just shoots his way towards whoever is left in New Orleans after the several hours have passed and most everyone is dead. It turns out that by the time the resistance got there that, what do you know, only Horton’s crew was left anyways. Horton was also found standing on a balcony loudly taunting the Nazis and shouting “Hey I’m Horton I’m resisting the Nazis wouldn’t it be great if someone came and rescued me”, so was it really necessary to gather whatever spotty intelligence the Nazis might have had and sacrifice thousands of otherwise savable lives? It’s less that the game doesn’t care about the people of New Orleans or that the characters don’t, it just seems like suddenly the writer forgot how space and time work.

This is especially jarring considering how the game uses travel to explain certain scenes well. For example, Blazkowicz stops at Mesquite because it was on his way back to the submarine off the coast of Galveston. The game does make this mistake a few times in the first half, take for example the jump from New York to Roswell with just an animated map to show the journey and the strange contrivance of the tunnels under Spesh’s restaurant that lead very quickly into the Area 52 base. But in the second half it becomes truly endemic and begins to seem like it’s covering for the absence of something. This happens again for the player getting to Venus. To go to the Moon in the first game took obtaining a specific Nazi uniform, a task that entailed an entire level. In this game, one jump cut separates Anya suggesting Blazko disguise himself as the actor and the actor being tied up in their back seat as they arrive at the Nazi space airbase. Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a stealth level kind of like Roswell wherein you and Anya are sneaking around the milkshake bar looking for Redfield? It would have been another chance to explore the warped combination of Nazi iconography and Americana that is pretty much the game’s raison d’etre. But instead nope, Anya and BJ are teleported (as far as the player is concerned) to the point in time where pretty much their entire plan has gone off without a hitch. In gameplay terms, the player puts down the controller in New Orleans and picks it back up in the audition scene on Venus. It feels totally disconnected, like Master Chief going from the ground on the Halo looking up at High Charity to being teleported deep inside of it.

This then brings us to the Hitler scene, which I feel incredibly conflicted about. On the one hand, it’s an amazingly acted, written, and directed scene that features my favorite depiction of Hitler in any medium. On the other hand, it serves absolutely no purpose in the story and feels totally disconnected from the levels that came before and after it. Wouldn’t it have been great if Blazko said “Drop fucking everything, we’ve gotta kill Hitler” once presented with the opportunity? It could have been awesome to chase Hitler through a fast paced level where you get to see his personal living quarters and those of the Nazi elite, and then continue to chase them onto the surface of Venus for crazy low gravity high heat gunfights. All the while the game could keep cutting back to Hitler and his security detail, with the Nazi henchmen getting increasingly frustrated with the demands of their shitty old man leader they’re forced to protect. Instead, he gets secured offscreen while we fight Nazis through more generic empty corridors.

Venus in general feels like the biggest missed opportunity. Instead of feeling truly alien like it’s theremin laced soundtrack implies, it feels like more rote metal corridors the likes of which have been seen in the New York Bunker, the three separate missions inside the U-boat, the beginning of the New Orleans segment, the entirety of the Area 52 segment, and the both of the Ausmerzer’s missions. In general the levels feel like flat gameplay spaces when they aren’t serving as explicit narrative corridors like the town of Roswell or the Mesquite section. Raycevick points out something similar about Halo 2: while the developers promised massive environments, most of the environments in Halo 2 are small, boxy, and heavily overused in long attrition battles.

The final level is perhaps where the game falls apart most profoundly. First, it reuses a variety of environments from the earlier Ausmerzer level, and second, its new environments are more generic steel corridors. The Ausmerzer doesn’t feel like a giant flying ship, there’s nothing to distinguish it from the underground areas the player has spent almost the whole game traversing. Remember the Return to London Nautica level in Wolfenstein: The New Order? It’s full of moments like when you fall off the roof and catch a rope to swing into a lower floor and onto a Nazi, or when you scramble along the scaffolding on the side of the building as the snow gently falls on Nazified London. It had a sense of verticality and scale to it that pretty much all the levels in Wolfenstein 2 entirely lack. Imagine if you had fallen off of the Ausmerzer only to be rescued by Wyatt/Fergus flying the Helicopter, and then got dropped off on a different point. Imagine if you had to engage jets and flying drones scrambling to try and stop you. The end of the level almost approaches this feeling as you rush across the top of the Ausmerzer while being bombarded by drop pods full of super soldiers, but you still feel like you’re on a grounded structure. As well, in my experience the lackluster music almost always bugs and cuts out in the last few fights, and with little ambient sound you end up fighting the climactic battle in silence. This climactic battle, a brawl with a huge number of soldiers and three imposing (but uninteresting) robots doesn’t feel climactic. It feels like kind of a tough fight, but it feels as perfunctory as the tough fights that proceeded it. Nothing about it says “grand finale” in the way Wolfenstein: The New Order’s amazing last level and fun last boss fight did.

Then you have one last brief Wolfenstein moment in which you kill Frau Engel, and the game ends. The revolution that you’ve worked all game for is placed on the other side of the screen the characters are speaking to, and the only glimpses of it we see are a slideshow of trite photos set to the worst credits song of all time. This is perhaps the game’s biggest mistake, and here it closely mirrors the feelings engendered by Halo 2′s ending. Sure Master Chief has escaped High Charity, but now he’s gotta take the fight back to Earth to save humanity just like the whole game has been building up to! But nope, you don’t even see the slightest glimpse of besieged Earth, just a quick shot from space that cuts to the Master Chief in a dull gray corridor. On this boring shot of the Chief in an unfinished looking asset the game cuts to credits. Just like Wolfenstein, it didn’t even begin to live up to the amazing ending of its predecessor in which the Chief soars out of the Pillar of Autumn just in time for it to explode and tear the Halo apart in a jaw droppingly action packed sequence. Wolfenstein: The New Order and Halo both end on bangs, Halo 2 and Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus end on whimpers.

Of course it is impossible for me to know if Machinegames were under the same pressures to cut content that Bungie was in 2004. It could be that exactly the game Machinegames wanted to make, disjointed narrative and weak second half and all, was what we got. And there are deep narrative problems with the game that aren’t solved by adding in the “cut” content that I conjectured about above. For example, the game would still have the naive doublethink that America is both horrifically corrupt but also fundamentally worth saving at its core. Frau Engel would still be a one note villain who pales in comparison to Deathshead, and her daughter Sigrun would still be supposed to earn our respect by choking a black woman and screaming in her face. Bombate’s characterization would still be a mess, the shirtless scene with Anya on the Ausmerzer would still be a trip too far into pulp absurdity, and I doubt any draft of the game’s storyline would fully explain what the stupidly named “God Key” is. However, if you cut the fat of challenge modes, perfunctory DLC, and assassination side missions, and replaced it with more levels that were of the quality of Roswell or Mesquite, Wolfenstein 2 would feel more whole and less compromised.

Part of the characterization of Wolfenstein 2 as the new Halo 2 is also about hope for me. Halo 2 was a sort of nadir in the series for many fans, but what followed is, in my opinion, still the best Halo game ever released: Halo 3. Halo 3 delivered on the promise of Halo 2 in many ways, including by making static scripted sequences like the Scarab fight into massive dynamic battles. If Wolfenstein 3 is the same leap from 2 that Halo 3 was from Halo 2, then we could be in for a really massive treat. A game with the unique and intelligent creative perspective of Wolfenstein that was also firing on all cylinders in terms of polish, level design, and gaudy spectacle could await us. Obviously it could also be a massive disaster, but Machinegames making the same missteps as Bungie could mean that they have learned many of the same lessons. Here’s hoping!