#u know in sim terms or whatever

[vancalox]

rapidly learning smth abt myself and its that the more ts4 cc i download the less i actually want to play with cc. i think im a vanilla gamer after all these years lol 9yo me would be so disgusted

[robotpussy]

my uni has finally given those who want to pitch to be production designers a script to work with and its so boring 😭😭 so i have to be over the top in my presentation to get this role

[leonbastralle]

what did femme masc frame sims do to u cc creators........

[pha55ed]

Touch | F1/F2 (kimi bday celly!)

type :: fluff tw/cw :: gn!reader for all, one gendered-term for carlos contains :: kimi!, oscar, carlos request :: heyy! can you do touch by katseye for carlos, oscar and kimi? or choose whatever 2 other drivers u want if you dont feel like writing for these, im mainly requesting for kimi lol. im really excited to read the new stuff, love ur writing 💕 (yes ofcc!! i love carlos and oscar sm <33 and thank you!! ur so sweet :D ) link to kimi bday celly!

Kimi Antonelli | 04

Getting a crush wasn't on Kimi's 2024 bingo, instead it was on the list of the things that he didn't want. Focussing on racing has been what he's done all his life, he's barely had breaks or time to himself - so how the well would be able to have a girlfriend? He knew logically that a relationship would never work, and yet he couldn't stop the way his heart beat got faster around you.

As you came to the paddock once again, he wanted to scream. It was a internal fight that he could never win. On one hand, he was estatic to have you here to help cheer him on and watch him. It was going to push him 10 times harder to be better, to make sure to impress you. But on another hand, he was screaming because how he was shitting his pants and thinking of every bad outcome possible.

What if he crashes in the first minute and has to retire? What if he loses miserably and doesn't even have an excuse for why he sucked so bad that day? What if a different driver sees you and realizes how cute you are and tries to flirt with you, he's especially worried about Paul or Ollie finding you - he knew those two could pull anyone if they wanted.

He did his best to focus on the race, pulling off P7, not awful but not amazing. And god was he nervous, his hands were sweaty and forehead glossy from nerves. Before he could allow you to see him, he needed to freshen up in some way.

Rushing to his drivers room, trying his best to avoid anyone and everything so he can see you quickly. But when he walks into his drivers room, he's met with you looking at him whilst holding a little bouquet of flowers.

Suddenly his senses were all heightened. He could smell his sweat from his armpits, has he always smelt this bad? He could feel how loose his racing suit was on him, did he look too baggy? His breathing was still raggedy from racing, oh my gosh did his staggered breathing make him seem unfit?

And even worse, why did you look so perfect to him? God he hates this. It was like his entire plan for his future was crumbling all because some stupid person walked in and made his stomach flip. He was stuck there, frozen, staring at you with his mouth slightly open as he does his best to think of anything at all.

You confuse his silence with him not wanting you there, which even he didn't know if he wanted you in there or not. So you hand him the flowers, congratulating him on his placement as you left.

Long story short: he's awful with crushes. You WILL be the death of him.

Oscar Piastri | 81

Being nonchalant is basically his entire brand. That's why so many people freak out when they see him laugh or giggle, he's known as the next "Kimi Raikkonen" for a reason. So, when you begin to come to more races since you're the daughter of one of the head engineers at Mclaren, everyone notices how different Oscar is around you.

He usually just stands there,,, awkwardly,,, as if he's a Sim waiting for a command. But with you, he's suddenly fiddling with everything, doing his best to make sure he looks good. He constantly pushes his hair back, clearing his throat, making sure his shoulders are rolled back, you swear you even saw him MEW whilst you were busy talking...

This crush is noticed by everyone, the engineers, mechanics, lando, and even you. But there's one person who doesn't know: and that's Oscar himself. Somehow, he's fully gaslit himself into believing he's just nervous around you for other reasons.

He only pulls out your chair when you come to the group dinners because he's a gentleman. He keeps fixing his hair around you since it's windy, even if you're talking indoors. He can't stop staring at you because you stick out since you're the only girl in the Mclaren garage,,, even if you're not the only girl,,, there are like 10 other women who work in Mclaren.

But one day, Lando and Oscar are eating breakfast together before their free practice. That's when Lando boldly asks, "So have you made a move yet on (Y/N)?" Oscar replies with no, scoffing at his question as if Lando was asking something stupid. Lando has a small smirk from Oscar's reply. "So, can I shoot my shot?"

Instantly Oscar is confused, obviously no! But he's not sure why he wants to say no to Lando's desire to ask you out. Oscar literally tries to find every single reason as to why he doesn't want Lando to date you, even going as far to think he's possibly gay for Lando. He rules that out quickly though and connects the dots, he can't deny them anymore: he likes you.

From that point on, Oscar is an even bigger mess than he already is around you. He's already nervous, but now you swear you can see the buckets, yes plural, of sweat that he's making from even being in the same room as you. You know he likes you, everyone in the paddock as already told you, even Toto Wolff joined in,,, why is this grown man in some young adult romance...

Please, please, please, just confess your feelings to Oscar. He most likely won't get the guts to even THINK of asking you out for at least 4 months. And then he has to plan how he's gonna ask you out for another 2 months. And then he has to gather the courage to ask you out for another 4 months. And then... you get the point.

Carlos Sainz | 55

Unlike the other two, Carlos is older and more experienced than them. But of course, he's still going to be a tad bit flustered when it comes to you. You're one of the new videographers for Drive to Survive. All videographers were assigned a driver to film, and you got Carlos. Which you were grateful for since he's always super respectful and also very easy to film, since he looks good in every angle.

Carlos usually hated being filmed for Drive to Survive, he thought they were super annoying. But he couldn't bring himself to dislike you, even when you accidentally hit him with your huge camera - he still found you so endearing. He couldn't help but try to shoot his shot at you.

Every time you came to film him, he made sure to drop not-so-subtle hints that he liked you. Like saying, "maybe I should film you, you're much more beautiful" which you obviously reply by saying how handsome Carlos is - which makes him smirk. You fell for his trap of calling him beautiful, but was it really a trap if you've been thinking it from the very first day?

Or how you always have to remind him to look into the camera when speaking, because his dark brown puppy eyes can't help but stare at you instead. Or when you almost trip since the camera gear is so heavy and Carlos catches you, saving you almost $10,000 in damages. Or when you went to the bathroom, leaving your camera on the table only to be met with a camera shoved in your face that was controlled by Carlos, to which he laughed and repeated yet again, "you're stunning".

As you two get to know each other more and more, he becomes much more forward with his flirting. Greeting you with an air-kiss, brushing your hair behind your ears, and even buying you multiple bouquets of flowers. You couldn't help but blush at all of his actions, but you knew you needed to stay professional still to avoid getting fired. Carlos knew that too, he would never want his favorite camera-woman to get fired.

So it's a constant tug of flirting with you and you being bashful in return. It's a painfully long wait till the season end so that Carlos can finally ask you out on a date, since there's no longer a contract forbidding you two.

[aridridge]

quick temporary fix to enable skin details, overlays, & default eyes for infants

for people asking how i figured out how to get things like skin overlays enabled for infants (namely @delicateism & @simminnikas on my post). 

this is not by any means a long-term fix or even probably the most convenient way to do this, it’s just what i ended up doing for the moment so that the babies would be cute. it’s also not a way to fix default skins; it’s just a way to get your infant to have the skin you like. whoever has a better way to do this, i’d totally love to know how! this is just how i jerryrigged it for the time being :)

first, i went into sims 4 studio, and went file > open > then i clicked the package file of the skin overlay i wanted. this has to be a nondefault version of a skin overlay—it can be set as a skin detail, or maybe makeup, whatever. if your favorite skin has a nondefault skin detail/makeup version, open that in sims 4 studio, and a window will pop up.

once the window pops up, i go to the tab that says ‘texture,’ where you’ll see a picture of the skin overlay. click export, and it will export this skin overlay to a png file. that’s the first part done!

after this i went back to the home screen of sims 4 studio. on the home screen, i selected ‘override’ under the blue tab that says CAS, then clicked on that blue CAS tab, which opened a window full of assets from the game. 

under the search bar, i typed ‘storkbite’ which brought up the skin detail asset that is the infant stork bite birthmark thing. once you select it & click next, it will prompt you to name the file before you make it, so name it something so u know what it is. 

after this, a window like the one from before with the skin overlay will pop up. under the same texture tab from before, you want to press import this time. you’ll want to import the png file that you exported from your favorite skin overlay earlier. 

click save, and the name you chose earlier will be a package file now that you should put in your mods folder. now, when you go into the game in create a sim and select the stork bite detail, instead of giving your infant sim a stork bite, it will give them the face overlay you selected. (you can choose to have your skin overlay replace the other infant skin details instead, like the birth marks on their backs and legs, but you’ll have to scroll through the assets during step 3-4 until you find the one you want your skin overlay to replace.)

this same process can be done with makeup, too. there’s no makeup tab for infants, but by following this same process, you can choose to make your favorite blush/whatever replace an existing base game infant skin detail (or maybe you can make the makeup be an added swatch of an existing skin detail without actually replacing the original, if while on the home screen during step 3 you select ‘add cas part swatch’ instead of ‘override’, but i haven’t actually tested this). 

if you follow a similar process, but instead of replacing a stork bite, you make overrides by changing both the texture AND the specular of the default base game eye color assets in sims 4 studio (which will be listed as yfeyecolor, but that’s fine, it works the same), you should be able to make your favorite default eyes work for infants, too, but it’s kind of an arduous process that i haven’t fully completed yet. i’ve done it with one eye color, which worked just fine, but it looks like you might have to do them all manually, one at a time?

if anybody knows a more efficient way to fix default eyes, please, please, PLEASE rb & tell me lmaoooo. if anyone has a good way to fix default skins, please rb with that, too! <3

[florenceisfalling]

!!!

aaaaaa yes all good thoughts! see a lot of my thoughts re: the stranger had more to do with how it seemed too material and reliant on physical stuff. the spiral had a literal endless maze, but also had people's lives falling to delusion. the web had literal spiders, but also had the concept of control and all that. so even if you aren't scared of the more obvious manifestations, you still have the chance to be disturbed by the more abstract ideas.

but the stranger (as delightful as its monsters are, i love nikola and breekon and hope etc etc, they just don't feel as clever) relies so heavily on the idea that the listener MUST be scared of dolls or taxidermy or automatons, meanwhile i love all those things! and ive had plenty of nightmares involving the uncanny valley or identity, and concepts like the mandela catalogue scare the shit out of me. but tma never seemed to get to the core of why that stuff is freaky, just "hey wouldn't be fucked up if this happened?"

and like you said, they didn't seem to put much care into why a person would worship the stranger, which is strange (ha) to me because the options feel so obvious? i've met plenty of people who are so concerned with maintaining appearances (not in the Flesh way, in the social way) that they construct false identities and roles to play for themselves, and that seems fitting. idk! something !!

and they could've played with what identity Means more - in a story where so many characters are struggling with the line between humans and monsters, it would've been interesting to have manifestations of the stranger where you're left wondering if the spooky entity is actually a person or not (whether that be through not trusting the statement giver to be a reliable narrator, or through the question of What Is A Person? itself)

idk im sort of rambling jfc i didnt mean for this ask to be so long sorry but yes woo there r my thoughts i do not have many tma friends so i am deprived of enrichment

but tma never seemed to get to the core of why that stuff is freaky, just "hey wouldn't be fucked up if this happened?"

YES!! i think a great example of how this falls flat is the desolation, actually! because all of the follower's of the people's church of the divine host are made of wax

they are no longer human, their physical being is made of boiling, moldable wax

that seems like it should be a stranger thing, right? they're literally wax works, the unknowing took place in a waxwork museum and the dancers were all waxworks

but the difference is exactly what you've just said. the desolation's followers actually aren't scary because they're made of wax. them being made of wax is so far down the list of why they're scary i literally forget that it's true most of the time. whereas:

the waxworks at the museum are just scary... because they're waxworks. weird ones tho.

(as delightful as its monsters are, i love nikola and breekon and hope etc etc, they just don't feel as clever)

this is really really it!! the stranger's monsters just don't feel as clever

i really like your idea about someone worshiping the stranger because they're so image obsessed!! i would love to hear more about that. i think that would make a very interesting acolyte.

also i was thinking about this last night and i think part of what makes the stranger feel so vast (ha) and disorganized is that fear of the unknown is a fundamental building block of every single one of the fears

the whole point of all the entities is that they take things that are pretty innocuous (wasp nests, ant infestations, garden spiders, tall buildings, stairwells, hallways, security cameras) and turn them into something vile

the characteristic of "the unkown" or "the unfamiliar" is impossible to localize under one entity

also, understandably it took a while to establish all the mechanics of like what a ritual is, how it can be stopped, why people would want it to happen, etc

but it took the gang two full seasons and several major character deaths to stop the unknowing, while the black sun was solved off screen between episodes

and like yes of course like gertrude would be better at finding and stopping rituals because she has 50 years of experience! and yes it gets easier to find and stop rituals as you keep going. but the balance of the story pacing just feels weird, y'know?

this isn't the only time that i feel like tma does a massive amount of build up for a whole lot of nothing but it's up there

[superm4ks]

I don't really know how people analyse/read testing times so like whyy does everyone think rb will be the fastest? I mean I can understand that they were dominating last year and that that lead doesn't just completely dissappear over winter break, but at the same time they've changed the concept a lot and maybe the new concept is a flop?? Just looking at testing times and long-runs the ferrari looks just as good as the rb (to me lol as I said idk)

Aight honey I gotcha here’s what to actually look for in testing and what NOT to look for

Pay attention to:

Consistency - drivers will run what they call ‘programs’ set to see if the data they’ve spent all winter working over in their lil computers actually correlates to the finished product on track. It’s important that it does lmfao. When the wind tunnel and the tarmac give u similar ((controlled)) lap times in !!similar environments!! then u know you’ve got a good base to work on for the remaining of the season. So look for consistency in ur drivers laps. Look for race sims on c1 c2,c3 ((hard and medium compounds)) wid obvious delta references and see if they were actually able to deliver consistent times across the board.

Tires used by teams - personally always find it interesting and telling when teams will focus a lot more on softer compounds and harder compounds instead of miss ole reliable her majesty the long run queen - C3. C3 is a medium compound baddie thats the most likely to give u a broader picture of how the car actually handles at a race speed. A few nailed laps on c4 and c5 ((softer compounds)) DO look sexy and strong on top of the table, but for testing they’re kinda like stretching a muscle u won’t even get to use all that much. But if ur fav gets on top the table, no harm done right 😭

Laps completed - Nando Alonso said it best, 3 days of testing is fucking bonkers . And it is. Imagine not only u gotta learn everything about one of the most intricate and sensitive and complex pieces of machinery on the planet but u gotta also use whatever data u find to extract some type of competitive, podium scorer, race winning performance . All this against 10 other mfs ((yes even haas)) who are trying to do the same. So , how do u get an edge here? Simply put, u run your car from the moment it’s green until it becomes like against the law to have the fucker out there. More laps = more sim data = more data overall = better quality corrections between sim and on track behavior = more knowledge of how car responds to different programs = where to improve and gain performance

Immediate statements from drivers on how the car is behaving *relative* to last year - drivers are pr trained to death but they’re not robots. One of the most important aspects of an f1 car is its drivability. If a driver tells you it’s better or it’s worse /or they’re having less or more fun, believe that . That is important

Do not give a fuck about:

Testing classifications - or, to put it bluntly, it doesn’t matter who tops the charts in testing. The term ‘glory runs’ // ‘sandbagging’ comes to mind, and while teams theoretically shud not b wasting precious testing time wid that nonsense bro sometimes those mfs can’t help themselves . And it’s all utterly meaningless until fp1 in Bahrain . Lemme tell u why. There’s simply too much we don’t know about how teams are moving atp. What engine modes they’re on, fuel loads, delta targets, programs. Apples to oranges. Except apples is a fresh lap on c4s and oranges is like 15 on used c3. Cud mean something, cud mean nothing. Don’t focus too much on it.

Hope this helps love u mwah

[mysadcorner]

So basically my request is reader being a new spiderwoman and becoming apart of Miguel O'Hara spider society team and her meeting everyone and then she walks into spider!therapists office and he is all like "so you're new, how r u whats ur backstory" etc etc but then reader sits down beside him and is like "no... how r u?" To him and he looks at her all like 😍😍😍😍 "marry me" I hope u can somehow put this into headcanons bahahaha

Ezekiel Sims x Spider!Reader Headcanons

Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in headcanons -

Masterlist Navigation

When you’re in a new environment you’re going to be feeling disoriented and confused, and naturally overwhelmed if quite a lot is coming on. This makes a Spider!Therapist so much easier to go to, as you definitely need someone you can feel comfortable opening up to without judgement.

When you first meet Ezekiel you would honestly have no idea where to open up about first. But he’s already well equipped for this and will try his best to make you feel comfortable about opening up to him through whatever means you may mean. Because of this he’ll be very lighthearted with you (compared to what others may want or need from a therapist).

He knows that he shouldn’t, but Ezekiel knows that you need someone closer to you that can provide you comfort, rather than just having someone you open up to during a set hour. If he thinks that you’re comfortable enough for him to flirt then he will, starting subtly and testing the waters to see how you may initially feel about him.

You’ll immediately feel at ease around him and realise that he is actually listening to you. He’s heard almost the exact same thing so many times, so when you open up about something new he just can’t turn his attention away from it, and from this he figures you out quite well including your mannerisms and potential beliefs.

After a few sessions with him, you’ll realise that he’s always the one listening to others (and this must take a big toll on him). So rather than spending this session surrounding your problems, you directly ask him what he struggles with and offer to listen to anything he wants to open up about. In this moment he almost has a heart attack.

He immediately wants to het closer to you after this, since not only have you given him a new outlet but you’ve also showed that you genuinely care for him. He rarely has free time as he’s dealing with everyone else’s problems, but when he is free you can bet that he’ll be asking you on a date or wants some real quality time with you outside of therapy sessions.

He would be more than happy to enter a relationship with you, but he would make it known that he can’t always be available due to his professions. Which you completely understand due to your own responsibilities. He tries his best to comfort you and for you both to be honest with each other as much as possible, and because of this things always go at a comfortable pace for the two of you.

After being vulnerable with you and honest, he would be more than willing to show his commitment in the long term. Marriage or anything else you could think of would never be out of the question for him, and he’d naturally know what you would be looking for in a relationship with him due to how well you communicate with each other.

[marsosims]

Hello! I've been super busy finishing up requirements for school... Today's the last day for the submission of requirements and I've been rushing to do them and submit on time, but I've been struck with a bout of procrastination, and I thought I'd participate in simblr appreciation day!

(under the cut because it's surprisingly long [that's what she said...])

I don't really have any particular people in mind but that's mostly because I cannot remember every single person and I would feel bad about forgetting anybody,,, ANYWAY! here's some appreciation to:

The people who make CC and mods - y'all make this game bearable and I genuinely cannot live without them so I am very much thankful to all of u ily all (except the permawallers)

The people who make those CC and mods POSSIBLE - the people over at s4s and all the other tools like s4castools, as well as the tutorials they've made over the years have been INVALUABLE to the community and I just wanted to recognize them and say thank you <3

The people who reblog CC and mods - I feel as a creator, I've always been very appreciative of people who reblog my content because it genuinely helps me out to have my content spread to a wider audience. On the flipside, as a consumer, I'm also very appreciative of these people because I LOVEE discovering new creators that I've never known before who make literally the best items out there and AAA i'm just so happy

The people who download and play with said CC and mods and create the most beautiful sims, stories, and builds with them - as a creator, I honestly feel very giddy whenever I see people use my cc or even my mods. I know I don't generally reblog (because I usually forget) but I genuinely appreciate all of you! Thank you so much! All of the sims and builds I've seen with my CC have been incredible and have been truly inspiring <3 The stories and edits that I see on my dashboard (or when I stalk people on my activity dashboard IM SORRY) are honestly amazing and I LOVE to see it!

Of course, the people who play vanilla! - whatever type of gameplay you make, whether it's vanilla or with a shit ton of CC and mods, I love to see it! It's so refreshing to see how differently people use the same game to create such a diverse community! Vanila players, however, I have SOO much respect for. You guys are the strongest soldiers out there. I am weak to the temptation of custom content. Always have been.

The people who made this a thing! - this has honestly been one of the best things I've seen on simblr in a while, all the negativity and drama have made me a little less keen on being here a few months ago, but I've slowly come back and I'm genuinely so happy to see something like this happen :D

My patrons - honestly couldn't really end this appreciation post without saying a thank you to my patrons. Seriously, thank you :D You don't know how much your donations mean to me and my getting through college. The extra funds from your donations have allowed me to be generally independent in terms of funding myself and my activities. Seriously.

Anyway, this has been a super long post and I'm actually kind of embarrassed to post it because it feels like a long diary because I've been rambling about stupid stuff that I should have probably kept to myself but uhh yeah!!!!

Hope you guys have a happy holiday season!!! Expect more things from me, at least until the end of this year! I've been working on some stuff! Probably not exciting, but it's stuff!

[watchoutforthefanfics]

achievement unlocked 🔓 (part five) || Streamer AU! Reddie (IT)

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: this prompt

Summary: Richie liked to play video games, and by some stroke of luck, it became his job. Being primarily known as Trashmouth on stream, he found his own little group of streamer friends and they became intertwined: The Losers Club. It never did feel quite complete, though. Well, until, he got his very own backseat gamer in chat.

TWs: innuendos, lots of talk of sex (it's Richie), vague mention of toxic relationships, low self-worth, a little angst, loneliness, imposter syndrome, cursing, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: We got friends in on this one, babes. The Eddie train expands !!! And Richie continues playing some of my favorite games. I'm Southern so the accent joke can fly. Enjoy :))]]

It was stream day.

Richie was skimming through some of the submitted games. He had a form where people could submit games they wanted him to play: it ranged from dating sims to horror games to Mario. He'd found one he liked early last week, but he knew it'd be long-term so he waited on it.

That being said, he'd already downloaded and was currently checking that it ran properly. He still had a few hours until the stream started up.

e.kaspbrak

You're streaming today, right?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

yeah new game why

e.kaspbrak

What time?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

wow eds u call yourself a fan ?

e.kaspbrak

Your schedule is shit, you know that.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

it's at like 12

gonna be chowing down on stream

e.kaspbrak

I'll be off of work by then.

What game?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

that's for me to know and you find out spaghetti 😉

guess you'll just have to watch my stream :)

e.kaspbrak

I already am going to dipshit.

Richie laughed, he felt like he always was with Eddie. So fucking cheesy.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

no playing favorites here eds

e.kaspbrak

Whatever dickhead, I gotta get back to work. See ya then.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

see u spagheds :))

e.kaspbrak

I'm just going to ignore that fucking horrible nickname. Bye, Rich.

He smiled again, something about only his closest friends calling him Rich. It made him feel a little warm, and made him want to maybe run up and down the street -screaming about Eddie.

Luckily, he didn't.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

byeeeeeee

Richie huffed a breath out and kept working on his computer. It all seemed to work well, luckily. There was no troubleshooting that he had to run through for hours-

And then he got a text.

Staniel 🐦😤😠

Call me.

Shit. He'd forgotten to tell him like anything. Shit, had he figured it out? God, he was going to hear it. Like really hear it.

Or maybe something was wrong. Wrong enough to constitute a call. Fuck.

Richie didn't hesitate another second.

"Richie?" His voice crackled over the line (sometimes the distance really messed with their calls), "-Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, hey," Richie started quickly, "-Is everything okay?"

"Of course," Stanley reassured instinctively, before continuing, "-I just talked to Bev."

Fuck.

"I was going to tell you about Eds, I swear-"

"Eds?" He questioned, seemingly genuinely, "-That's the person in your chat, right? Bev just told me that you were talking to someone. Are you... Wait."

Richie spoke, a little nervously, "I might have found him on Instagram."

"The person you're talking to is... Eddie?"

"Yeah," he fidgetted with his fingers, "-the guy who cusses me out in chat."

"You're so fucked in the head," Stanley commented, flatly, "-How are you into that?"

"I don't know," he mindlessly added, "-but somehow he makes it cute, so that's where I'm at."

"Is he gay?"

They had like zero faith in him. Damn. Was he that much of a lost cause?

"Yeah, he is," Richie sighed out, "-I know I've had a shitty dating history, but fuck, man. Have some faith."

"I would," he replied, flatly, "-if you didn't have a terrible record otherwise."

"Oh, c'mon, Staniel," Richie offered, "-It's not that bad-"

"You haven't had a boyfriend since you became an official Twitch streamer, Rich," Stanley pointed out, "-and even then, that guy wasn't even out. He couldn't even take you on dates."

"And I was okay with that," Richie clarified, "-Not everyone feels comfortable with being out-"

"Richie," Stanley interrupted, sternly, "-it wasn't about personal preference, the guy was shitty."

Thinking back on it, he can kind of remember some shitty things the guy did. Like bash his love for comic books, tell him to shut up (not in the cute way), physically hide him from his friends and family-

"You deserve someone proud to be with you," he continued, interjecting into Richie's thought process, "-And I don't... I don't understand why you don't seem to know that."

"You're not the only one, Stanthony," he pursed his lips, somewhat deflecting (Richie was never really good at peeling back layers of himself), "-Steve tells me shit about it all the time, 'You seek validation in other people'. Blah, blah, blah."

"You know you pay a therapist to listen to them, right?"

"Obviously," he chimed in response, tapping his fingers along the desk -mindlessly eying the clock, "-I am. It's just... Your brain is wired a certain way, and sometimes it's hard to rewire it. If that makes any fucking sense."

"It strangely does," Stan commented, thoughtfully.

There was silence for a second, and it felt a little heavy on his shoulders. His love life really was in fucking shambles, huh. Richie wasn't sure anyone had actually loved him. Sure he'd heard the words, but it was never genuine. Always had... an agenda. Manipulation, or love-bombing (as Steve would say). Or at least he thought it was.

It kind of fucking sucked that he might be susceptible to that again, that he might have put himself right where he'd started. That Eddie held a lot in his hands because Richie had willingly put it there, that he could just do something-

"What about Eddie?"

Richie blinked, clearing his throat, "What about him?"

"Is he-" Stanley started before pausing, seemingly trying to figure out his words, "-Is he a good guy? Do you think he's actually... invested?"

"Well," he laughed a little nervously, "-there's fucking nothing to be invested in right now, Stanley."

"This wouldn't be as big as it is if that was true, Rich," he replied, swiftly, "-I know that."

Richie took a deep breath in, "Okay, yeah, I do. Mike... Alright, so apparently he lived where Mike and Ben did when they were younger?"

"The town in Maine?"

"Yeah," Richie quickly confirmed, "-Anyway, Mike sees Eds as an old friend, so he called me to make sure I was being... genuine-"

"Let me guess," Stan hummed, "-he called Eddie too? Asked him the same thing?"

"It's scary when you do that, Staniel," Richie responded, playfully, "-You're like some fucking prophet or something sometimes, it's scary as fuck-"

"Did Eddie tell you himself?" He continued, unwavering, "-That he was genuine?"

"Yeah," Richie swallowed, something in him deeply uncomfortable, "-yeah. Said that he likes when I talk and that sometimes he's a dick to people he cares about-"

"He likes when you talk?" Stan interjected, near immediately.

"I fucking know, right?" Richie replied laughing, the idea had been bouncing around in his head for a while, "-Isn't that batshit crazy?"

"Not entirely," Stanley replied, still ever-so-calm, and just seeming to process it. He always thought about what he was going to say before he said it, the exact opposite of Richie (most of the time anyway). He thinks it kind of why the two of them work so well together.

"It's just good," he continued after a moment, "-when has a guy you're with ever said they like that? That they like to listen to you?"

"First off, I'm not with Eddie," Richie corrected, mind humming with a hopeful 'not yet', "-Secondly... never. They always used to tell me to shut up, mostly. And not in the cute way that Spaghetti does."

He could nearly hear Stan's frown, "You know if we were friends back then, I would've kicked their asses and then yours for doing that to yourself, right?"

"'At's what happens when ya live in a town stuck in the eighties, pal," Richie chimed back in a strange southern accent (more hillbilly than beauty pageant), "-the internalized homophobia grabs ya by the ankles and drags ya-"

"I get it," Stanley interrupted, flatly.

He stopped the impression and then started up a little quietly, more genuine. He could tell when Stan meant no bullshit.

"I like him," Richie spoke, maybe a little louder and squeakier than expected but he'd never admit it, "-I really fucking like him."

Stan didn't say anything for a second, wordless. Once again probably debating what wise words he was going to graciously depart onto him-

"I'm glad," he said, "-I'm really glad, Richie."

And that was that.

It was about an hour before stream now, and his phone dinged.

It was embarrassing how much he hoped it was Eddie, and how much he deflated when it wasn't. He didn't deflated completely though, because it was Bev.

reddy.bevvy ✔️

give me Eddie's insta

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

what why

reddy.bevvy ✔️

I wanna get to know him

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

u tryna steal my mans marsh?

reddy.bevvy ✔️

he's gay

and if he's your friend rich he's gonna be mine too

so suck it up and give me his insta

God, he loved his friends. Especially his dear Bevvy, that one was something special.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

@/e.kaspbrak

He waited a moment, not sure if he should expect a reply. Beverly was a wildcard sometimes-

reddy.bevvy ✔️

thx

see u at the stream 😘😘😘

Richie let out a breath, something clawing up his stomach. His friends weren't going to harass him, were they? God, he'd worked so hard to not scare him away, it would be so fucked if they did. He might never forgive them, ever actually. And that was saying something because he fucking loved his friends.

After an hour of going between worrying and checking his equipment, the stream started.

Richie had actually prepped himself a bowl of Ramen that he currently was eating -waiting for his chat to flow in. He knew some people got off on the eating thing, and others found it gross, but that was in the character of his channel and himself so... he didn't really fucking care.

This time the game was in the title of the stream. One called The Quarry, some sort of choice-based game, people most certainly were going to die at his hands. Either for being stupid and getting them killed, or doing it purposefully. Richie didn't know which one would win this time.

"As long as I got my suit and tie, Imma give it up on the floor tonight," he murmured to himself, checking his audio.

Honk, honk.

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: what the fuck are you eating

"Eds!" He chimed happily, maybe a little too happily in retrospect, "-Ramen, it's lunch time, everyone should be chowing down."

trashy.tozier: 🍝🍝🍝

dizknees: eddie has arrived guys stream is legit now

babey_boy: SPAGHETTIIII

elite._.gamer: just here for the game but hi eddie

trashmouth-for-me: 🍝🍝🍝

girlie-pops: 🍝🍝🍝

trashy.tozier: I'm eating chicken fried rice

trashmouth-for-me: @/trashy.tozier food check !!!

hello>_<89: 🍝🍝🍝

girlie-pops: I'm eating toast w jelly

smell.ya.later: 🍝🍝🍝

dizknees: I'm eating leftover spaghetti ironically

trashmouth-for-me: @/eddie.kaspbrak watch out @/dizknees has a taste for your blood

hunny_bunny75: I'm new here but this is my favorite game ever

smell.ya.later: I'm eating ramen too !!! we are kindred spirits 🧘‍♀️

trashy.tozier: @/hunny_bunny75 welcome ur in for a bumpy ride

bridger_my_ton: I'm eating a turkey sandwich

toziers-trash: 🍝🍝🍝 EDDIE

too.tough.to.cry: ice cream w chocolate sprinkles

"Hey motherfuckers," Richie started on instinct, "-I don't know shit about this game, other than it's one where people can die based on my choices-"

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: do you know how much sodium is in that shit

"Enough to matter," he laughed, "-apparently. Guys, do we feel li-"

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: do you even own any vegetables ???

"Spaghetti," he dramatically held a hand over his heart, feigning heartbreak, "-do you have no faith in me? Of course, I do. I've got baby carrots right in the fridge."

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: you should eat that instead dickweed

Richie fell into a little bit of an incredulous laugh, something swirling in his chest (he has odd ways of showing he cares but Richie was definitely into it). He pushed his lips together into a thin line, everything itching in him to listen. God, he was so gay-

"Well, guys," he laughed again, "-I don't think Eds here is gonna stop until I switch out my meal. So, I will be right back, do not blow yourselves up while I'm gone."

trashy.tozier: wait did that just happen

brilliant_minds: is that his bf or something

trashmouth-for-me: say that 🍝🍝🍝

benny.boy: where's richie?

trashy.tozier: @/brilliant_minds 👀👀👀

reddy.bevvy: @/benny.boy went to get some different food

all_i_say_is_beet: beet

toziers-trash: @/trashy.tozier no this is starting to make sense

stan.the.man: I've been trying to do that for years @/eddie.kaspbrak

smell.ya.later: @/trashy.tozier how the turntables are turning

barbie._.gurl34: has the stream started ?

In the silence of Richie's room, the alarm went off.

eddie.kaspbrak donated $5: I am not his boyfriend

trashy.tozier: that's suspicious that's weird

gay.shit.guy: 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 GAY SHIT MENTIONED 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

only-here-for-trashmouth: you could be though

ghoulie-boogie: when is he starting the game

dizknees: I smell a ship coming on

your._.mom: the question is do you want to be 🍝

girlie-pops: @/dizknees reddie ?

trashy.tozier: @/girlie-pops no wait THATS SO GOOD

should-i-stay69: is this the gay game ? About werewolves ?

elite._.gamer: @/should-i-stay69 there is a gay couple and it is about werewolves

baby_gurl456: just got here but I'm kinda invested in the 🍝🗑 drama

trashmouth-for-me: @/baby_girl456 NOT THE EMOJISSSS

trashy.tozier: guys he's coming back !!! spam the chat he can't know of our secrets !!!

Richie came back to a slew of chats, including letters and random emojis. He was only a little surprised his mods didn't do anything about it. It was Trashmouth Tozier, they did questionable shit. And he didn't disapprove of some spamming, not always.

"Jesus, guys," he laughed again, "-What the fuck did you do?"

They did not answer him for the rest of the stream. Initially, he just wanted to do a villain run but then he found out about the gays ("Wait guys, there's gay potential in this?! We have to save them, fuck-").

And Eddie didn't message again, surprisingly. Richie wasn't 100% sure why he took it so hard, but at the same time, he knew exactly why. It worried him a little bit, then, and then it worried him a lot when he got off stream to no messages.

He stared at his phone for the remainder of his day, just watching and waiting.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

eds?

He was probably just overthinking it. Like he always did. He might just need a day, they didn't have to message every minute of every day. They had actually already messaged that morning, so that was normal, so normal-

At least, that's what he'd tell himself when he went to sleep that night.

[nexility-sims]

𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗳𝘁. 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

you can find the playlist here, which is essentially the songs that either remind me of what jered would’ve been producing (or are songs i’ve decided to just ... borrow ... in this universe; shoutout to @ladybugsimblr for the inspiration) ! 

breakdown of the choices which no one asked for can be found below the cut :^)

STAGE 1: DUFFLE BAG

for the better part of the 1990s, jered was part of duffle bag, whose music i’m encapsulating in toploader's "dancing in the moonlight," black kids' "i'm not going to teach your boyfriend how to dance with you," and harvey danger's "flagpole sitta." duffle bag died when jered and tiffany accidentally had their twins, monica and orson. like, there were other reason but ... you know. duffle bag was formed by a music producer—or, would have been if the four hadn’t started talking in the waiting room during auditions and struck out on their own. 

STAGE 2: JERED AND TIFFANY 

in the spirit of Making A Bad Thing Work Despite Everyone’s Advice, jered and tiffany formed a duo for all of one album. it was popular because the general public believed they were indeed making it work. needless to say, they did not make it work for long asdklfgfdh song selections include "someday we'll know" from the notebook by mandy moore and jonathan foreman as well as jason mraz and colbie caillat's "lucky."

STAGE 3: SOLO ACT, PART I

after crashing and burning with tiffany, jered took some time to be a single dad before returning to the music scene. this begins the long trend of tiffany inspiring his musical choices—fittingly, consider "cry me a river" by justin timberlake. after this detour, jered established himself with alt and indie rock which was probably his interest all along. selections include cake's "short skirt/long jacket," franz ferdinand's "no you girls," and the hives' "won't be long." 

STAGE 4: SOLO ACT, PART II

personal tragedy and new friends pushed jered into more of a hard rock direction. i feel like this was his real songwriting period, and the sound was his way of expressing those feelings most authentically. it played well with the public, too. some songs: foo fighters' "the pretender," audioslave's "doesn't remind me," and also their "getaway car." 

STAGE 5: THE SO-N-SO’S, PART I

the so-n-so's are basically maroon 5. accordingly, they started with more of a rock direction: "harder to breathe," "this love," "if i never see your face again," "makes me wonder." jered’s just happy to be able to dance across the stage again and reunite with troy (from duffle bag). he’s a good frontman, although his bandmates have followings (and deserve their own post...)

STAGE 6: THE SO-N-SO’S, PART II

new direction, make it more pop ! in terms of songwriting, things get more lovey-dovey on account of francesca looming very large. songs include: "stutter," "give a little more," "one more night," "sugar," and "this summer." i didn't include "moves like jagger," but i feel like this is the era where they finally start doing features as well. jered likes to say musicians have to evolve or die, and he’ll retire when he’s dead.

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

[transfemlogan]

Made my friend ( @evilneo ) guess Sanders Sides characters (+ Emile Picani & Remy/Sleep)! If it isn't obvious, I am "All Aboard" with the pokemon icon & ai is JohnWickLover1994.

(Note: my friend refers to Remus as a degoratory term ["fruit"] once)

Image descriptions are under cut (sorry, they're very long I thought it'd be best to put it under cut).

[ID: all images are screenshots of a discord conversation between user 'All Aboard! 🚄' and 'JohnWickLover1994'. User 'All Aboard! 🚄' is struggling to type and often misspells words.

Image 1: All Aboard! 🚄: here is the first one. (Image of Patton Sanders from Sanders Sides) Tell me who he is...

JohnWickLover1994: Oh uhm... Logan nerd trait.

All Aboard: NERD TRAIT

JohnWick: why is he dressed like that. Hang on one sec. (All caps) He dresses like the guy from that one dating sim (end caps) with the dilfs. Ok so. Logan. Nerd trait of uh logic. Or being a dweeb or whatever. (A later message) (all caps) the first one you showed me. Is he morality. (End caps)

All Aboard: (all caps) I'm not answering until the end (end caps)

JohnWick: (all caps) sorry off topic from this fruit (end caps) (edited onto the screenshot is the text "remus" underneath the word fruit.)

All Aboard: (caps) help (end caps)

JohnWick: (caps) he just looks like a goody two shoes bitch (end caps)

Image 2: All Aboard: whos this? (Image of Logan Sanders from Sanders Aides)

JohnWick: (caps) no that one is logic right? Brain badge! (End caps)

All Aboard: they're all logic /joke ok so then whats his name?

JohnWick: (caps) ok so (end caps) logan 2.

All Aboard: (keysmash) they're ALL named logan!

JohnWick: (caps) yeah! (End caps) whwhwhwhw... uh. His name that isn't logan. Roman? Is this roman.

All Aboard: sure! Next one.

John Wick: (caps) im wrong aren't i </3 (End caps)

Image 3: All Aboard: (image of Roman Sanders) whos this

JohnWick: (caps) oh that guy is roman isnt he fuck (end caps) he's got that general roman prick vibes . Idk ... uh um. Confidence? Cockyness? Strategy?

Image 4: All Aboard: (image of Virgil Sanders)

JohnWick: (all caps) is this one virgil

All Aboard: (keysmash) what gave it away

JohnWick: i fell in love with an emo girl~ /lyric

All Aboard: ok whats his trait.

JohnWick: sleep deprivation look at those (caps) eyebags. (End caps) someone give this young man a bed.

All Aboard: on it boss! Tucking him in rn

JohnWick: uh hm. Idk. Anxiety? Mental illness ambiguous.

Image 5: All Aboard: (2 images of Janus Sanders) he has a snake face! ^_^

JohnWick: (all caps) oh um. Janus. Deceit?

All Aboard: (all caps) fuck how do you know this one

Image 6 (conversation continued): JohnWick: two sides of his face to two faces to synonym for deceitful. Snake themed to calling someone a snake means theyre a deceitful person. Janus also has two faced associations i think?

All Aboard: fuck. I should have just let you seen one part of his face... /joke

JohnWick: bill cipher cosplayer bitch. Smacking his bowler hat off his head get some (caps) style man. (End caps) I could dress him better I think . If he was my househusband.

Image 7: WHO is this guy and his trait. (Image of Remus Sanders)

JohnWick: now this dude. Hm. Oh! Remus?

All Aboard: (caps) how'd you know?

JohnWick: I know Roman and Remus are twins and hes like. as flamboyant as the other guy in the opposite direction

All Aboard: (keysmash) this is true.

JohnWick: also the other guy was red+white and hes green+black so thats like opposites. Also trait is gay homo crimes.

Image 8: All Aboard: he is from multiple vines (image of Sleep from Thomas Sanders' short videos) and he represents something. It's like... Thomas does skits, I guess. He wears a thing that says what he is supposed to represent so I scribbled it out. He does not have a canon name, but everyone calls him a name and even Thomas does it sometimes. I am pretty sure.

JohnWick: idk. Uh. Calling him David.

All Aboard: (caps) david. (End caps) Do u want 2 guess what he represents. What. David. Represents

JohnWick: Instagram brand millennial cisgay who every queer person doesn't like

Image 8: All Aboard: (image of Emile Picani from Cartoon Therapy) Who is this. He has a first and last name, but no trait. He has a job you can guess his job.

JohnWick: Leslie Greenham and he's a librarian. He looks like a Leslie Greenham tbh (later message) (all caps) is he not a librarian?

All Aboard: (all caps) its great. I love it. No hes not a librarian (keysmash)

JohnWick: there's a book behind him though!

All Aboard: (keysmash) theres ONE book behind him that makes him a librarian! /joke /teasing /end image description]

[ticktockmyclockworkhart]

who do u think made cals body

i mean it obviously wasnt scott or damien

i like to think it was vicky

Yes, that’s my hc too actually!!

I mean not completely but I think Vicky definitely did a lot of helping. In my Monster Prom universe/interpretation (of sorts) I think Vicky was the one to both release Zoe from her totem and also help Cal become a real student, though she was a lot more actively involved with the Zoe situation than Cal’s.

(Since the DLC is the second term, I like to think both of those events happened first term of their junior year, Cal and Zoe joined as actual students at second term of junior year.)

Vicky was, like, actively responsible for obtaining the Power Totem of Z’gord, but the Floppy Disk was something Scott and Damien got their hands on on their own (again, in my interpretation, thing with visual novel dating sims with so many potential endings is you really have to specify what happened in “your” version of how the game’s story went lmao) and when things started to go especially weird with the computer that would become Calculester, at that point both of them tracked Vicky down for help because they’re both idiots and know Vicky is probably one of the smartest people in the whole school. I think she came in and out of the Floppy Disk ending shenanigans never fully engaged, just getting regularly called in by Scott and Damien whenever something went wrong (or they at least thought something did) and it was kind of a trip for her considering there was some new crazy shit happening every time she got called back to the situation. Like Scott downloaded an obvious virus? Typical. The computer is emitting purple smoke? What? The computer is now sentient and riding around on an office chair in a trench coat and trilby hat trying to pass as a student? Okay, how did we get here?

She and Cal nonetheless got along pretty good getting to bond over all the times Vicky had to step away from her already insane pre-prom shenanigans to micromanage whatever the hell Scott and Damien got him into this time and just relating over being two out of like five monsters tops who actually understood morality. She was also the one to introduce Cal to Oz the following semester as she was pretty sure they would get along great with how refreshingly sane and kind Cal is and how gentle Oz is, plus them both having the same social struggles (she was VERY right, but that’s neither here nor there).

I think between semesters Cal was the one to construct the blueprints for his eventual body, crunch the numbers, make adjustments to ensure everything stayed together and moved properly, evaluate the best materials for the construction, etc, and with Vicky’s knowledge of engineering she was able to help him put it together. When it comes to physical assembly I think Vicky started on her own, but by the time Cal’s head, upper torso and one of his arms were in place he became pretty helpful in contributing to his assembly.

That got really off topic lol but that’s the beauty of a game with so many endings and interpretations like Monster Prom is that we really do be out here practically with our own whole AUs for each individual person with just how the game events played out for our depictions of the characters and I get carried away infodumping about mine lol

[babyboybear]

ABOUT! ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

I’m Bear! I’m 19, and regress to about 4-6! My regression is both for fun and as a coping mechanism! He/Him only! I’m a trans man :3c

No community, I just post whatever! Let me know if I accidentally violate your DNI, I’ll delete anything I reblogged!! I am 100% SFW, though I use the term “littlespace” to describe my regression! I AM NOT PART OF CG.LRE/C.GL, do not interact if you are!!! I have a CG/partner!!! I call him “Daddy” and he’s the bestest

I’m autistic and ADHD!

DMs are open! I’m always down for new friends!!!

ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+ DNI! ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+.⋆｡⋆˚｡��｡˚☽˚｡⋆.ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

NSFW, if you sexualize agere (no DDLG/ABDL/Ageplay), kink, proshipper, anti-mogai, anti-blm, republican/conservative, anti-lgbtq+, ace/pan/mspec gay exclustionist, MAP/pedo and supporters, TERFS/transmeds, bigots! Basically, if you wouldn’t show or explain your blog to a child, don’t interact with me!

If you make me uncomfy, I’ll block u!

ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

INTERESTS!

ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

I draw a lot! Mostly when I’m big tho! When I’m little, I prefer arts and crafts, coloring, and painting!

I love video games when I’m big and when I’m little! Favs are Pokemon SWSH, ACNH, Minecraft, Slime Rancher and Sims when I’m small! I like all those when I’m big too, plus Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Fallout 4, Skyrim, Witcher, Destiny, and a TON more! I’m more than happy to talk about them all :3

I’m an avid plushie lover and collector, I have hundreds! I sleep with 7 in bed with me, even when I’m big! They make me happy :D

My absolute favorite little shows are MLP:FIM, Hilda, the Pokemon anime, Little Witch Academia, Gravity Falls, Bluey, and Sailor Moon! Fav big shows are the same, plus a LOT of horror movies (especially Friday the 13th and the Scream movies!), Ouran High School Host Club, and Madoka Magica!

My favorite colors are yellow, pink, and blue mostly! Also black, gray, and red!

ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+ TAG LIST! ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

#aes: aesthetic stuff or pics that don’t fit in any of the other categories

#art: art of stuff that isn’t its own tag

#ac: animal crossing stuff!

#boards: outfit/mood boards

#bluey: bluey stuff!

#food: what it says on the tin! also serves as a blacklist tag if need be :3

#mc: minecraft stuff!

#mlp: my little pony stuff! all FIM era stuff, that’s my fave

#pkmn: pokemon stuff!

#stim: stimboards and gifs i find stimmy

#stuffies: pictures of stuffies!

#toys: exactly what it sounds like, toys i think r cute!

#wishlist: stuff i want! mostly a frame of reference for future purchases

#quwu: queue tag

[my old blog is @baby-boy-bear]

[concubuck]

People I’d Like to Know Better!

(Doing this three weeks late but lmao whatever)

Alias / Name: Puff or ckret2

Birthday: :U

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Height: :U five and a halfish

Hobbies: writing, RP, video games, leatherwork, artsy craftsy thingses,

Favorite Color: silver or purple or mint green

Favorite Book: who’s the sadist who wants it narrowed down to one. Long-time favorites include Grendel, To the Lighthouse, Good Omens, Wild Seed, Hitchhiker’s Guide, and I guess I’ll extend an honorary award to the Cthulhu Mythos even though my opinion on Lovecraft himself has dropped and these days my preferences run toward “people who deconstruct/subvert his writings.”

Last Song: “Divenire - Reimagined by Mercan Dede & Kora”—it just popped up in Spotify’s release radar so I can’t tell you yet whether or not it’s good. I think I like the original Divenire better.

Last Movie / Show: Currently working my way through The Vampire Dies in No Time. I think last movie was Ouija: Origin of Evil.

Recent Read: Rereading Dracula alongside half of tumblr. Also recently reread Huckleberry Finn to see what else I think about it now that I know more about the time period it was written in. Next book might be War of the Worlds or the second Sherlock Holmes Vs Cthulhu.

Inspiration: Me getting real tired of “asexual character develops a libido” narratives that AREN’T presented like a horror story, because I’m pretty sure that desiring to fuck would be exhausting. 2/3 of my writing comes from having a very petty literary pet peeve and going “how could I write the exact same scenario but in a way that I actually like.”

Story behind your URL: Alastor is a succubus and a buck. “Succubuck” was taken. I didn’t want “incubuck” because it implied a character too cis for what I planned on playing; and anyway on top of that I follow with the fact that canon’s been using succubus like a gender-neutral term and I knew if I called him an “incubus” that was the only thing anybody else would ever call him forever. Of the newer gender-neutral terms for succubus/incubus currently available, “concubus” had the best easily-available search results for anyone who sees me use the word, doesn’t know what it means, and googles it. (I try to make a habit of not using obscure terms unless they’re easily googleable.) Every day I’m disappointed I couldn’t use “succubuck.”

Fun Fact: I do a lil Sims 4 modding! Maybe someday I’ll post it where people can download it instead of just keeping it on my computer.

Tagged by: @smiledotdeer!

Tagging: lmao i’m not good at tagging people and also this meme already went by three weeks ago