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lazyjellyfish300 · 18 days ago

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12 𝑫𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑺𝒎𝒖𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒔~𝑫𝒂𝒚 𝑺𝒊𝒙

synopsis: you and Emo!Kento Nanami, your best friend whom you've been in love with for years, had a falling out. But, when you're assigned to be his secret santa, you come up with a meaningful gift you can only hope will fix things between you before the semester is over and you lose him for good.

Words: 12.5k 🖤

cw: MINORS DNI, xFEM! READER, x EMO!NANAMI, COLLEGE AU, ANGST, reader has "emo" aesthetics i.e.:eyeliner, wears certain clothing(obv self indulgence) ,jealousy, social anxiety , some pick me behavior, mutual pining, fluff, shyness, SMUT (protected p in v, Kento's a virgin, makeout, dry hump, oral f and m receiving, fingering, breast play, rough at the end, orgasm)

a/n: NGL it's been a struggle bus lately but I'm doing my best to finish this damn Xmas series. TY for your patience 🙂‍↕️ @actuallysaiyan my Emo!Nanami guiding light and inspiration as always. 🔥

12 Days of Smutmas Masterlist 🎁🎄🎅🏽

Dividers by @/saradika-graphics, pics from pinterest

You linger like a stubborn shadow in the corner of the overheated, loud, sweaty, and cramped Christmas college party at some frat you can't remember the name of with a Jack Daniels tapestry hanging on the main wall and a musty concoction of weed, beer, cigarettes, B.O. and too much cologne.

You fiddle nervously with your red solo cup, tracing over your name written in black sharpie for what feels like the millionth time, trying to act nonchalant and like you weren't on the verge of being overstimulated.

Jeez, even the line for the bathroom is a mile long. Guess that's out of the question. Oh God, everybody's staring. Kitchen. Okay, let's try that.

You wandered back to the kitchen, stumbling over your black knockoff Doc Martens, trying to preoccupy yourself with the surgeon general's warning on the discarded Mike's Hard Lemonade box instead.

Normally, you wanted zero parts of these holiday ragers with too many people. But, when you got the memo you were supposed to be Kento Nanami's Secret Santa, you knew there would be no getting out of this one.

Especially since you had so much to say to him after all of the things that happened between you two in the last several weeks, and the looming end of the semester threatened to put even more distance between you. You just needed him to hear you out, to apologize, clear the air, do whatever you could to make him not hate you anymore.

----

You weren't sure what it was, but once you two went to college, it was like Kento got hit with a sex pollen that attracted all these women that seemed to spawn out of nowhere. The awkward, shy, Kento seemed to become the object of everybody's desire.

But how could they not? He was the most handsome man you've ever seen, and you stood by that fact as his beauty only grew with each passing year you knew him. He was intelligent, a natural whiz and gifted in both the jujutsu and non jujutsu worlds. Despite possessing all of these fine qualities, his humbleness never wavered, clueless even at just what a gem of a person he really was.

You had no option but to grin and bear it like a thorn in your side, resisting the urge to give into that unbearable wave of nausea that would hit you like a train when you spied some random girl's name on his Blackberry or when a group of them batted their lashes at him while you guys ate lunch in the food court.

"Hiiii, Ken!" They'd giggle as they'd walk past, making him blush while you stood there like chopped liver.

But, you knew Kento, and you had faith in his ability to snuff out all of this false flattery. Most of these chicks would have been the very same ones who bullied you two all throughout middle and high school and made your lives a living hell. You suspected they were just wanting an easy A, or to get in his pants. Either way, the feeling made you sick to your stomach.

They didn't know that his parents were high school sweethearts. They couldn't list his favorite songs, or animes. They couldn't guess his orders at every konbini you frequented after class(and it changed from chips and an energy drink or a soda to shitty coffee and a sandwich depending on which one you visited). And they certainly never knew how the tops of his ears would turn pink whenever you caught him staring at you while you were finishing a thought.

No, those were things sacred only to you, and nobody else as his girl best friend. Best friend. Just friends. Ugh.

And while you were grateful for it, it made witnessing all this unabashed thirst over Kento all the more torturous.

He wasn't yours.

You had zero business telling him who he could be friends with, or talk to. You definitely didn't want to come off as the crazy fucking jealous girlfriend before you even had the title. Kento was smart, but somehow the fact that you've been in love with him for years was one puzzle he never cracked.

It was so pathetically obvious. How you'd cancel all your plans for him at the drop of a hat. How you intentionally wore your hair in that way he liked after that one time he complimented you. How awkward you acted whenever you accidentally touched him. How you almost never talked about any other guys around him and noticeably avoided those questions because the one you loved was standing right there.

But it all came to a head when you heard rumors that he might be taking someone else to the winter formal. Some popular girl from a well known sorority. She had rich parents, stellar grades, and a banging body too, just to add even more insult to injury.

You wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

And how did you cope? By finally texting Atsuya from the football team that of course you'd love to go out on that date you must have wrote him five rainchecks for by now. Always turning him down and putting him on hold in hopes that your best friend would finally wake up after all these years of loving him from afar.

You regretted it as soon as you said yes like a pit that descended to the bottom of your stomach. You ended up canceling out of guilt and pulling the Aunt Flo card, but it looked like the damage had already been done.

You neglected to remember that Kento spent every weekend tutoring the football team in math. You didn't have to guess that Kento must have caught wind of the gossip in the locker room from Atsuya when he went seemingly radio silent overnight.

When you went to meet him in your usual spot to study at the library on Wednesday mornings, he was a no show, and when you texted him, he didn't respond until hours later:

Sorry, had something come up this morning.

Ken? Is everything alright?

Kento?

You called him at least 7 times, embarrassingly enough, and all of them went to voicemail. Finally, he replied:

I'm really busy with exams. I think it's best if we take time apart to focus on our studies and finish the semester.

Was this about Kusakabe? Because if so I can explain...

Silence.

Kento, please.

And he never responded after that.

You didn't push the issue. You knew Kento didn't like to be bothered when he was upset, but God, having him disappear on you like this as though your two favorite hoodies weren't collecting dust in his dresser drawer cut you deeper than any knife.

How do you get over someone who was never yours to begin with?

It seemed like he was dead set on acting like you never existed, like you never saw him when he had nobody, before he became this big shot in college with all the ladies. Like you didn't support him after he lost Haibara and like you didn't have a thousand inside jokes and a shared language between you in the form of pizza, drawing sharpie on his studded belts and each other's notebooks, 80s anime, and loud music that only comes from knowing somebody for so long.

No, it seemed like that Kento you knew was gone, or he was at least acting like he was. And it was all because of stupid jealousy and a date you never actually went on.

The CD that you had burned just for him and clumsily wrapped in Munchlax wrapping paper was weighing in your pocket. You hoped and prayed that even if this was really going to be goodbye, that at least he wouldn't hate you before he went.

----

"Alright *hic*, everyone gather round, gather round."

99% of the attendees are already sloshed as the participants stumble to form a circle around the room for the gift exchange. You couldn't help but notice Atsuya's arm around a mystery date. Seems he took the rejection rather well.

The frat leader stood on a chair in front, yelling incoherent directions you only caught the tail end of, due to the man across the room you couldn't shift your gaze from.

It was Kento, clad in an MCR Christmas sweater with the sleeves rolled up on his forearms(that seemed a little bulkier than you remember), half drunk bottle of Fat Tire beer in his hand, and that amber gaze scanning the room until it came to a stop directly on you.

A noticeable look of shock broke across your face and you looked down immediately. You were certain he caught you, and out of your peripherals you notice he's not phased in the slightest. He simply raises the beer bottle to his lips again, still eyeing you wordlessly from across the room.

The old Kento would have looked away, but this new Kento (possibly emboldened by the free flowing booze), wasn't backing down from you. The rounds of secret santa reveals dredge on from one after another, most of the participants being too drunk to even stand up.

You've lost track of who has who, but you honestly don't care by this point. Your hands are growing clammy and your leg is bouncing more and more restlessly as it approaches your turn to give your gift to Kento.

But, as Shoko stands up next to you and presents her gift to Utahime, you can't help but notice an unknown girl approach Kento from behind, slipping into the seat next to him. Is this the same one he was supposed to take to the dance? You can't tell. There's been so many girls around him by now, you've honestly lost track.

Attention diverted, he turns to her, and she has the audacity to scoot closer and touch his arm. Your mind feels fuzzy as surely the scene playing out in front of you must be a dream. But you only seem to watch it from an out-of-body lense as you see his lips curl into a smile and lean in a little closer to hear what she's saying, their thighs touching.

She's got different hair than you. A completely different style and aesthetic. Probably smart. Probably far more interesting. An absolute knock out. She's the opposite height, opposite build from you. She's the walking antonym of everything that you are not and the ideal encapsulation of everything you wished you could be. She looks so cookie cutter next to him and the soft way he grinned at her looked like one of the special grins he used to give you.

It's too damn much.

The party continues on without interruption when nobody seems to even care or notice that you left. Kento's CD lands discarded on the chair in the wake of hot tears pouring out of your eyelids and ruining your eyeliner as you bolt out of the door.

-----

It's Christmas break, why in the fuck are there no taxis available right now?

You stand pitifully, thumb raised in the snow on the curb trying to hail a cab. You were in no state to drive and your mind was whirring a million miles per hour. At least the agony of what you just witnessed was being temporarily overshadowed by the mind numbing cold the longer you stood out there.

Your mind replayed again all of the times you thought for certain would be the one that he'd finally tell you he loved you. All of the glances, all of the touches that happened by accident, all of the things he remembered about you and the awkward hugs he used to give.

You guess this whole time you were operating with your blinders on. It took you messing everything up and another girl waltzing into the picture for the rose colored lenses to come off and realize that, like always, your mind was right and listening to your heart gets you absolutely nowhere.

No matter how many deep talks and sleepless nights and unspoken words and tears you exchanged over the course of your friendship with Kento, there would always be somebody better. Perhaps he was only ever meant to be nothing more than a friend until he outgrew you completely and the relationship ran its course. You had fallen to the wayside, and you only had yourself to blame for foolishly believing that he was ever worth leaping for.

-----

"Awww looks like emo girl tapped out!"

Kento jerks his head in the direction you once were, noticing the empty chair and small thin present sitting in its place. The girl next to him is still talking, but her voice fades to echoes as he searches, confused, his eyes darting all over when he realizes you must have left.

Kento looks down, his mind traveling somewhere else as the girl continues with her spiel. He puts two and two together, and feels his heart sink in his chest. In all honesty, he knew damn well what he was doing when Christina,(the girl who was now chatting him up and one of his new study partners), came to sit next to him.

He just wasn't expecting you to leave so suddenly. It was childish, he understands that now. And he realizes those feelings that have lingered beneath the surface for you for all these years can't remained buried for long. Maybe he just wanted you to feel how he felt when you agreed to that date with Atsuya.

It crushed him when he found out, so much so that he left the locker room immediately and went back to his dorm and laid down in silence for hours, listening to all the songs he never had the guts to admit were ones that he'd dedicate to you.

He even scored a 73 on his accounting quiz, something completely out of the ordinary for him. But, like most men, he bottled his feelings and chose to run away from the problem by sending you those cold texts.

Time is of the essence with every second that passes that he's not chasing you down in this snowstorm before you slip away for good.

"Hey, look, Christina? I gotta go. Sorry." He mumbled, nearly tripping over his legs as he got up, grabbed his secret santa present, zipped out of the stuffy dorm, and into the night where you disappeared.

-----

"Finally, Jesus Christ..." You murmured as a cab finally pulled up to the curb. The snowflakes started anew, and, combined with the wind chill, were making you tremble like a leaf.

"Wait!!"

Just as you were beginning to step in the backseat, you turned and saw Kento, running at light speed towards you and nearly slipping on ice. Your heart skipped a beat but you turned towards the taxi driver, giving him your address.

"731015 College Road."

"Wait! Shit, goddamn it!" Kento cursed as he skid to a stop, hand outstretched as he stopped the taxi door from slamming in his face.

"What the hell..."

Kento slid in the seat next to you, mumbling apologies as he almost crushed you with his actions, turning red when he caught his breath and was faced with yours and the taxi driver's expressions that were half flabbergasted, half annoyed.

"Same as her." He nodded, realizing his thigh was touching yours and scooting to give you more room, awkwardly looking at the ground.

The driver hmphed and shook his head, tossing his cigarette out the window as he pulled away, leaving you and Kento with no option but to endure the awkward silence of the painful ride.

The dorms you two live in are about 10 minutes away, but it feels like it's been stretched into an hour.

You can hear the scratchy sound of February Stars by Foo Fighters coming through the radio. At least you have that as a distraction.

"So, it's been a while."

"Has it?" You ask sarcastically, folding your arms and shifting your knees to point in the opposite direction.

"Look, I'm sorry..." Kento starts cautiously.

"For what?" You know exactly what you want an apology for, but your pride wants him to say it first.

"For dipping out on you like that." Kento replies, a bit uncomfortable now that the beer he downed earlier was loosening its grip. "For ignoring your calls and texts without hearing your side and being a bad friend."

"I tried to tell you, Kento. But you wouldn't even give me a chance to explain. I hope you had fun with your new girlfriend."

"... girlfriend?"

"Goodbye, Ken."

"Wait-"

The taxi screeched to a halt that made Kento flop back in his seat when you were already opening the door and practically attempting to jump out of the moving taxi.

"Goddamnit!!" Kento seethed again, then handed an extra $20 to the cab driver before jumping out, cheeks blooming red again. "For the trouble."

The cab driver raised his chin, accepting the $20 and driving off with a shake of his head.

Crazy drunk college kids and their relationship problems.

------

Kento called your name as you speed walked towards your dorm. "Stop! For two seconds, please!"

"For what?" You croak with tear streaked eyes.

"So I can tell you that I never went to winter formal. And there's nothing going on with me and Christina. There's nobody."

"Really?"

Kento huffs. "Seriously? You know me better than that. Do you honestly think I'd go to some nightmare dance?"

"I dunno. I thought I knew you, Ken. You've been acting differently lately." You resume walking again.

"How?" Kento asks, chasing you down.

"Nevermind..." You turn to put your key in the door.

"Hey, you left this." Kento hangs his head slightly as he shows you the CD he's holding, the secret Santa present you were supposed to give him.

You feel yourself freeze. "That..."

"It's got my name on it. Was it from you?"

"I mean, it was..." You go back to trying to unlock your door, the keys slipping through your fingers like butter.

Kento stands in front of you, slightly blocking your way. "You're not gonna unwrap it with me?"

You sniff and wipe a couple of tears with your free hand and avert your eyes.

Kento feels his stomach twist with guilt. How he wanted to reach out and comfort you. But the volatility of the situation leaves him unsure. He thinks for a moment, then breaks the silence.

"Look. I have the new Super Mario Bros if you wanna come over." He offers, lowering his voice as he extends this olive branch. "We can chill and do whatever. Maybe have a jam sesh like old times?"

You paused, evaluating this proposition. "For the Wii?"

"I'm stuck on World 7." He blushes.

You scoff. "Bullshit. You're the one always carrying me in that damn game."

"Okay, okay. I haven't started it, actually." He confesses.

"Wait, you haven't, why not?"

"I dunno, it..." He releases a shaky sigh. "It didn't feel right playing without you."

You take a step back, touched and a little dizzy from this whiplash at this realization that maybe he actually missed you after all.

He waits and the silence weighs heavy between you, his ears turning more pink and his stomach somersaulting more violently with each moment you don't respond.

"Please say something?" Kento pleads.

You do a quick appraisal and realize: what's the use? You couldn't say no to him even if you tried.

"What about curfew?"

"Um, well..." He rubs the back of his neck with his hand, subtle slyness in his tone. "I was sorta thinking that nobody needed to know. My roommate's gone for the holidays and it's just me."

You nodded, understanding, but also quite apprehensive with what this could mean. You weren't sure Kento was off the hook completely, but the part of you that missed him pushed you to say yes. You could sort out all of that later. For now you just missed your best friend.

"Okay. Yeah, I'd like that a lot. Lemme get some clothes from my room really quick? And I'll meet you back out here?"

"Y-yeah! Of course. Do whatever you gotta do." Kento blushed again and gave you one of those grins you so missed, relieved they were back.

—

"Ready." You smile at him a short time later as you come out of your dorm with your duffel bag with all the pins hanging off it you mostly bought and didn't shoplift from Hot Topic back in junior high. He smiles at the sight of you in your black Good Charlotte hoodie. One of his, as a matter of fact.

"That mine?" He asks, moving to the side to allow you to walk next to him in the hallway.

"Yeah, you left it here a while back." You respond sheepishly. "It was cozy to sleep in."

Kento can't ignore the warmth he feels everywhere at your admission.

"Glad it could be of assistance." He looks at you fondly as you approach the entrance to his dorm. "You're gonna wanna put that on."

Your breath halts as he carefully adjusted the collar of your hoodie, pulling the hood over your head, making sure your hair is completely concealed.

Kento pulls you in closer against his body as you two walk in the common area, blessing you with a faint concoction of cigarettes, his cologne, and that laundry detergent of his that smelled so good. You were equal parts relieved and flustered to be so close in his proximity.

Luckily there aren't many students up at this hour. A small group of guys sit in a corner with their beers and smokes, and one or two sit by themselves in various parts of the room trying to cram for last minute finals. They barely notice the imposter that Kento's sneaking in, a dark hoodied figure leaning on his shoulder.

"RIP. Man must have drank too much," they think to themselves before paying you two no more mind.

-----

"Here we go." Kento whispers as you arrive at his doorstep. He fishes his keys from his pocket attached to the friendship bracelet keychain you made for him one summer with his initials: KN. You feel a pleasant flutter of your heart when you recognized it.

You walk in Kento's small apartment which is impressively neat and cozy, with posters of his favorite bands on his wall, bookshelves lined with some of his anime figurines he collected and football jerseys and trophies on the other from his roommate.

The small, knee high Christmas tree you found on clearance together at a department store sits in the corner with a mod poge of ornaments you bought from Goodwill, smiling when you see Gary from SpongeBob, a poké ball, and a mac and cheese ornament hanging side by side.

"Make yourself at home." Kento gestures a little bashfully despite the fact that you've been over here many times, setting your overnight bag on the couch and letting you take off your shoes. "You hungry?"

"Hmm, you know what? I am, actually."

Kento smiles. "What sounds good?"

"Umm...what do you have?"

"Well, let's see." Kento strolls over to the kitchen with you in tow. "We have..." He clicks his tongue as he opens the pantry while you open the fridge door. "Granola bars, stuff for PB&Js. Protein powder."

He laughs when you make a face at him.

"Lemme see..." You take the canister of protein powder from the shelf. "Is this your roommate's?"

"Yeah. He makes shakes with it every morning."

"Blech." You shudder.

"Um, oh, we have Gushers." He pulls down the box. "Damn, there's only one." He offers it to you.

"I'm not gonna eat your last Gusher, Ken!"

"I insist." He chuckles. "C'mon. I already ate the entire box by myself."

"Share with me." You fold your arms, unwilling to budge.

"Fair enough." Kento shrugs and opens the pack for you, letting you choose the first one. You grab a blue one and pop it in your mouth with a grin, relishing the blue raspberry explosion on your tongue.

Kento looks fondly at you, popping a green one in his mouth before looking in the fridge with you. "Unfortunately we only have mostly healthy options besides the Gushers."

"Boringg." You poke your head underneath his arm to take a gander at the sparce options. You spy a bag of shredded cheese and get an idea. "Do you have tortilla chips?"

Kento catches your drift. "Yeah, actually. Nachos?"

"Nachos." You grin.

Soon, the countertop is transformed into a makeshift nachos station as you sprinkle the cheese on a high pile of chips in a bowl big enough for you two to share.

As it melts in the oven, you two take to the couch and get a head start on the new Mario Bros. The new propeller power up takes some getting used to, but you can't help the laughs and guffaws that escape you both as you play together, the never ending curse words streaming from your mouth when you lose the power up to a stray Goomba.

And, like you predicted earlier, although you come close to besting Kento in skill level, he's still standing when you two are battling Bowser Jr. and he carries you across the finish line when the shell hit and killed you at the last minute.

"God..." You drop the remote on the coffee table and he snickers as he looks over at you. "Looks like it's time for a break."

You pause the game and go back in the kitchen where you feast on the homemade nachos. Somehow they taste even better at 11 pm as the gooey cheese melts in your mouth, punctuated by the satisfying crunch of the corn tortilla chips.

Kento enjoys it too. His eyes cautiously steal glances of you popping chips in your mouth so casually in his space. He doesn't dismiss the underlying elephant in the room which is the fact that the hour is late and you're alone with these implications between you that neither have been bold enough to give a voice to thus far.

He needs to figure out a way to broach the topic, but he's drawing a blank.

"I have a confession, Ken."

His mind jumps to fight or flight, but his legs keep him right where he is. He wasn't expecting you to start this mid-nacho, but he guesses better to rip the bandaid off now.

"Yes?"

"...I'm still hungry." You throw him that adorable look that you reserved especially for when you were about to be begging for something.

And he's a willing victim in this cute little trap you laid. That wide glimmer in your pupils could get him to do whatever you wanted.

"Well, what were you thinking of getting?" He cocks his head.

"I'm thinking these nachos have me craving Taco Bell."

And who is he to say anything but yes? Especially since the mention of Taco Bell sets off a resounding grumble in his stomach that even surprises him.

"Alright, deal."

----

The hour is well past when you two should be asleep by now, several cheesy gorditas, Cinnabon bites and nacho fries later washed down with Baja Blast and more booze.

You're underneath a blanket next to him on his bed. The twin size of the mattress leaves you no option but to be right up against him with your thighs and arms touching. The mood has certainly shifted, with both of you scared to be the first to acknowledge it.

"Well..."

You can't help but burst out laughing.

"What?" Kento looks at you incredulously. He can't help but nervously laugh along when your wheeze of laughter ends up being more funny than the persistent awkwardness.

"I...nothing." You shake your head, backing down from opening the can of worms yet again.

Kento sighs. "Well, um. Should we open my present before we pass out?"

Your stomach feels that familiar pit building inside it. All the fast food you just ate certainly isn't helping the case either as it does slow somersaults with the reveal you know is coming. "Yeah, go for it."

Kento can pick up on your discomfort, because in all honesty he feels the same. But there's no time like the present. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't dying to know what you got him either.

He sits up, reaching towards the edge of the bed where the present is sitting. He reads the sticker that says in sharpie:

To: Kento 🖤

From: your secret santa

He wonders if his heartbeat is audible on your end as he earnestly tears the wrapping paper off(after appreciating your choice in wrapping paper as one of his favorite Pokemons) until the CD is all that remains. His eyes widen and he reads aloud the message written on the CD again in sharpie:

I'm sorry Kento. Merry Christmas.

Love was written and signed off with your name right underneath.

"Thank you. Really, I...this means a lot." Kento normally tripped over his words but you really left him speechless this time. Trading music was a religion between you two already, but this gesture of burning a CD for him was one you had never done for him before.

"You're welcome, Ken." You answer in a way you hope is cheerful.

Kento stands up, walking over to his CD player. There's a click and a mechanic whirr disturbing the quiet space as it roars to life. He loads it up then closes the tray, pressing play on Track #1, and turning bright red when the Peavey speaker absolutely blasts the song at full volume unexpectedly, making both of you jump 10 feet in the hair.

"FUCK! SHIT!! Oh, shit..." He mumbles as he cranks the volume control down. "Sorry...Jesus, fuck..."

You can't help but laugh, much more loose now the initial shock was over with and at Kento's adorable scared expression. "You shoulda seen your face just now!"

Kento shakes his head and teases back as he walks back to the bed to sit next to you. "Y-you looked just as ridiculous, y'know."

You giggle. "Sureeeee." You glance at the window. "Ya think your neighbors are gonna snitch on us for playing music too loud at 2 am?"

"Fuck if I know..." Kento sighs, laying his head back against the headboard as he takes his place next to you. "Let's just...listen to the music, alright?"

"Yessir, Kento, sir."

"Don't say that." Kento pokes you playfully with his elbow.

"Why not?" You prod back.

"Makes me sound like I'm old as shit or something..." Kento huffs, but he smiles at you all the same.

You both go back to listening, and he perks up in recognition.

"We the Kings. Alright, not a bad start, not bad at all." He smiles and closes his eyes. You look over at him, at your best friend with his relaxed expression.

The way those long bangs fell backwards over his forehead to showcase those enchanting eyes that could be so elusive, that Adam's apple that bobbed in his throat, the way his humble beauty never left his face no matter what state it was in. And, right now was your favorite, with his head thrown back and his body right next to yours listening to your favorite music in the world, hands dangerously close together on your respective laps.

You look straight ahead again as the song plays. Gradually, the curve of Kento's closed lip smile begins to slowly fade as he catches wind of the lyrics from the song currently playing: Rain Falls Down.

I hear your voice and what we talk about

And I'm trying to say what won't come out

Yeah, I'm trying to fix what's broken now

And I'm wishing that I could take your hand

And set you on some untouched land

Just so you are never sad again

And the world you've known will somehow end

There's a beating to your heart

That I just can't be apart

I can feel the rain fall down on us together

Just wait for the sunshine

Let's wait for the new day

When we can get away

It's me and you held close together

Hold on for the long ride

This won't be easy

Tonight

Hear my voice and know that I am here

I'm always there to wipe away your tears

I lay your hair behind your gentle ear

And tell you there is nothing more to fear

You are the reason I am the best I'll be

So let me stitch your heart so it won't bleed

And I won't rest until you finally breathe

'Cause I still love you more than anything

The song eventually ends and you can't deny there's more tension in the air than before you started. However, Kento wonders if maybe it was just coincidence. After all, what were songs nearly always about at least half the time? Love.

You're staring at your Nightmare Before Christmas socks, too nervous to even look at him, wondering if he's figured it out. But, you catch your breath when the next song starts playing and it doesn't seem to be the case just yet.

Kento wouldn't have guessed you'd put one of his favorite songs by Bright Eyes on the CD, either. Funny enough, this one happens to be one of several songs on that top secret playlist of his that he dreamed of dedicating to you one day. He's only astonished you managed to beat him to it. This time he's listening with you, it hits him like a rock.

And so I thought I'd let you know

Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow

But I realized that I need you

And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night

Just to meet me in the morning?

And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed

You felt as if you'd just woke up

And you said

"This is the first day of my life

I'm glad I didn't die before I met you

But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you

And I'd probably be happy"

So if you wanna be with me

With these things there's no telling

We just have to wait and see

But I'd rather be working for a paycheck

Than waiting to win the lottery.

Besides, maybe this time is different

I mean, I really think you like me

The song ends and it's quiet for a moment before the next song starts.

"I wasn't expecting that..." Kento uttered quietly. You turned, and he was already looking at you. The third song, All My Heart by Sleeping Sirens begins to play in the background.

There's so many things that I could say

But I'm sure it would come out all wrong

You've got something that I can't explain

Still I'll try and try and let you know

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" You notice his voice is thick, emotion where you weren't expecting it as your own tears well up once again.

"I wanted to. Believe me, I wanted to, Ken. I literally tried to-'

"I mean before..." Kento clarifies, grateful the dim bedroom makes the heat in his face somewhat less visible. "A-all this time, I mean..." He sighs wearily, and makes a shaky inhale, his shoulders begging to be relieved of this burden that he's carried since exactly one week after he first met you in elementary school.

It's spanned years and ebbed and flowed, but it has never left him completely. It was more than just a crush. It may have started out that way, but to label something so special that's endured this long would be doing you the disservice of a century.

You meant so much more than that to him. He'd give you the entire world for the simple fact that in his eyes, you were forever worthy of it.

"We've known each other for ages..." Kento's voice hovers above a whisper and it lingers next to your ear. "I wish you told me."

That first summer we spent's one we'll never forget

Looking for any kind of reason to escape all the mess that

We thought was what made us

Ain't it funny now? We can see

We're who we're meant to be

His voice is much closer to you now, and you're still afraid to fully turn and look up at him directly for fear that you wouldn't be able to hold back once you did.

"What's the point?" Your tears slip past your waterline once again and create trails of hot salt on your cheeks. "You've already outgrown me, Ken. Tonight has been wonderful, but let's not pretend like you haven't been distant lately and a completely different person."

Kento's heart breaks and in defiance, he turns your chin to finally look up at him. He's alarmed to see all the tears running incessantly and he feels it wrench when he realizes he's the cause for them.

"But how?" He asks quietly as he turns his thumbs into tissues to wipe them away. He can't help the thought at the forefront of his mind as he does this: you're still unbelievably stunning this way. Emotions worn boldly on your sleeve: puffy eyes, snotty nose and all.

"I thought you were tired of me. I mean, Atsuya told me you were..."

There's too many times I have to say

I could have been better and stronger for you and me

You always make me feel okay

Those late summers we spent, stay up talking all night

I'd ask "you think we'd ever make it?"

You'd say "I'm sure if it's right"

Ain't it funny to think just how stupid I used to be

Hope you always believe

You still have all of my

You still have all of my heart

It clicks for him all at once and now he wants to kick himself in the shins.

"This is still about Christina and the formal, isn't it?"

You hiccup as you shudder a little bit more as the tears still don't relent. "E-ever since junior year started, Kento. It was just everything. I thought I was losing you with all this attention that you were getting. I thought I was being left behind. You've always been so smart. A-and those girls are all really pretty, smart, and funny..." You hang your head in shame and Kento's heart skips a beat, staring at you in disbelief.

How could you not see that you were pretty, and every bit as smart and funny?

"Even if you didn't feel the same, I didn't want to lose my best friend. But I didn't wanna hold you back either..."

Kento brings you into his chest as he lets you sob into it without saying anything else right away. How painfully obvious the answer was all this time and here he stood with his head proudly in the sand, partly with blind acceptance of all this unsolicited attention that fed his ego, not knowing he was doing it to distract himself from what he's known clearly all along: being utterly in love with you.

"You could never, ever lose me." Kento answers, cupping your face, bringing your gaze back to meet his. "You're not holding me back, either."

You want to look away with embarrassment with how snotty and disgusting you must look right now as you just sobbed and sobbed your eyes out in front of him but he's not deterred, not even in the least as he sooths you with his lulling voice.

"I never went to the dance. I swear on my life. I talked to Christina at the party tonight because I was jealous of you and Atsuya but that was a dick move of me. I'm not ever gonna be stupid enough to put myself in a position to lose you again. I'm not gonna hurt you like that ever again. I swear to you..."

Those tender pools like melted caramel of his travel down to where your lips part softly in surprise with every emotional confession he gives you. These were details he only ever dreamed about. Part of him wonders how he could even be this close to possibly finding out and crossing that line between fantasy and reality to where you'd no longer be just a daydream to him.

"And I don't want anyone else..." He whispers. "It's you I've wanted. It's always been you. It's always ever going to be you. They couldn't come close to you even if they tried." He holds your hands more earnestly as he continues with this fire that was lit underneath him that emboldened him with each sacred truth he unraveled.

"Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me for being the world's biggest dumbass? I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I-"

His train of thought is quickly evaporated under the object of your loving stare, and the dwindling space between your face and his. For a moment he forgets how to breathe, once again marveling at how pure you were, even in the afterglow of your tears.

Especially in the afterglow, when your cheeks shone with the gleam they left behind, leaving the windows to your soul exposed to his. You remind him how to breathe again when that soft swipe of your thumbs over the back of his hand anchors him to this moment with you right before the fall.

There's only one thing left to do and it's like you two move in sync as you lean towards one another and the song continues to blare in the background.

Let them talk and talk and talk

Let them say what they want

We will laugh at the thought they don't know what we've got

The first meeting of your lips began as the most dainty brush. Kento's not sure how hard or soft to kiss you, and so he plays it overly safe, making himself almost as stiff as cardboard as he freezes at the first contact, hands still a clammy mess as they cling to yours.

At first, you were a little thrown off by the reluctance, momentarily worrying if he didn't actually want to kiss after all. You try to reassure him by leaning a little bit closer, using one of your hands to hold the side of his neck.

To your relief, Kento melts in response as though your touch granted him permission. You stay locked like that for a while in your first kiss and a half, lips molded harshly against the other's.

Neither of you want to be the one who ends the kiss, so you hold it for as long as you possibly can until you realize you've been going without oxygen a moment too long and you hastily break apart, softly exhaling against his open mouth, leaving Kento blooming the deepest shade of red he's been all night.

"S-sorry that was kinda..." Kento clears his throat, the shade of red worsening with mortification at how sweaty his hands were. "You're... you're my first, so..."

You smile at him, determined to put him at ease which he felt immediately with tingles blooming in his ribcage as you leaned in and tenderly brushed noses with him.

"It was perfect."

And you meant it. For two awkward college kids who barely found themselves venturing into romantic territory after being friends for so long, that kiss couldn't have gone any other way for you two.

But, you don't want to end your exploration here just yet, and Kento doesn't either. These deserted hours past midnight, the romantic tunes, and the enticing way he looks right now encourages you more and more to press the gas pedal.

"Do you wanna do it again?" He asks and he beams when you say yes. He leans in again, a bit hurriedly but he catches himself as he learned from the last time to slow down a bit. He releases both of your hands and cups your face this time.

You allow him to take the lead, letting him drink his fill of your beautiful face. The flutter of your eyelashes over a pair of irises with a color that made him feel weightless, the arch of your brows, and the hypnotic parting of your lips. You stun him in the rawest way and make him melt where he sits.

Unknown to you, all of those times you did your hair and makeup and wore your best outfits before tonight don't hold a candle to the way you look to him right now. It's because this one was fully intended for him in the sanctity of this moment when you've been your most vulnerable with him, in all of your precious, pure and unfiltered honesty.

And you could not be more beautiful to him than that.

He expresses this by wordlessly bringing his mouth to yours once more, cautious then loving all at once as he allows them to engulf you completely.

Every year that goes by, a year older we are

You'll still be beautiful then, bless your beautiful heart

They'll talk and talk and talk

How crazy is it?

Someone could waste their whole life, helplessly

Just patiently waiting for a love like you and me

This second kiss carried sparks more potent than the first. You become amazed at how quickly he learned as he begins to slowly open his lips against yours, embarking in their first slow dance together as they daintily pucker and press, before they seamlessly pick up a rhythm. You glide your tongue along his bottom lip until he responds with his own, the feeling trickling hotly to your core like lava.

The slick and wet roll of your tongues that map and trail thoroughly inside your mouth and his leaves Kento particularly dizzy, softly panting intermittently between each reunion. The faint taste of sunscreen from his Blistex chapstick mixes well with your raspberry lip gloss. Each little moan he makes is laced with the baritone of his normal speaking voice, the masculinity of it and his growing weakness causes you to move with more urgency, kissing him more passionately.

Kento's not opposed to this invitation one bit and he adjusts his fervor to meet yours, sitting up and pulling you into his lap. This new position unlocks a new level of ferality in your brain. His size quickly gives himself away as you feel his bulge pulse in his skinny jeans where the thin barrier of your leggings allows you a sinful sneak peek. All bets are off now as the walls between you have completely crumbled.

"Kento..."

"Baby, please...holy fuck..."

You grind against him, pausing after every roll of your hips for the friction to linger, chasing that relief for your aching clit that could only be cured by humping his fat cock.

Kento feels his restraint loosen impossibly fast. It felt like he went from never driving to speeding on the interstate. It's a lot all at once, but holy fuck does it feel good.

He allows you to overpower him, laying backwards on the bed with his head on the pillows as he pulls you on top of him.

"I didn't go on that date with Atsuya..." You pant then squeal at the abrupt change in position. "I swear to God, Ken. I didn't, fuck, I couldn't..."

Kento feels himself lighting on fire from this knowledge, seizing your ass cheeks in his hands as he too chases that feeling, that pulsing of your pretty pussy over his cock that he just knew was soaking through the fabric.

"Haa-aah....y-you didn't?" He throws his head back with his jaw dropped open, letting a heady moan escape as you kiss and suck his neck with uncaged vigor, still focusing on thrusting his hips upwards against yours where they magnetize and shove against your clothed cunt with building greed.

"I-I didn't, baby I swear to God..." Wetness builds in the corners of your eyes as he positions you directly over his thigh instead, hands flying to help you tear off your hoodie as he encourages you to ride him.

You lean down and kiss him deeply again, your breasts squishing against him and threatening to spill from your cups as the motion of you riding his thigh causes one of the straps to spill over your shoulder.

"I don't know what I was thinking...just thought about you the whole time. Just wanted you, Ken...I couldn't do it... I promise, I'm so sorry-"

"Aa-aah, fuck...I-I believe you, sweetheart." Kento's eyes clench closed in ecstacy, his hands following the dizzying pattern of your hips as they bumped and churned on his thigh.

"Fuck me I...I..." He pants, a sheen coat of sweat beginning to dot his forehead. "I'm not gonna fuckin last like this, baby, God...."

You show him a little mercy, stalling your hips as you dipped your head down to passionately make out with him again, postponing the tension of the tight coil that was building low in your belly. You both hummed pleasantly as you enjoyed kissing one another deeply again. The softness of the act was a welcome distraction from Kento nearly cumming all at once in his pants, dual wet spots from you both in your underwear and his boxers bearing the proof.

"Can I...be inside you?" He aims his next kiss at your throat, his lips thrumming with the tender melody of your sigh at his question.

"Are you sure, baby?" You greedily roll your hips again and he groans loudly. Clearly, you didn't need much convincing.

"Yeah I'm sure." Your foreheads meet one another and his thumbs skim your cheeks. "I have protection too." He adds before nuzzling against you.

"As long as you're certain you want your first time to be with me..."

"I'm positive." He replies, the reminder from the subtle pressure of you spread out on top of him makes him fight to bite back the desperation in his tone.

"You're the only one I ever wanted to do this with." He confesses, his cheek twitching when a section of your hair tickles his face, fanning a subtle waft of your PINK perfume. He flushes again and massages up the soft sides of your waist as he speaks.

"Just...just bear with me if...if I don't know what I'm doing or just tell me what feels good and I'll do it."

You nod and smile with a wave of anticipation for what's coming, "Of course, Kento. You're completely safe with me. And I trust you too."

Tonight wasn't your first time. You had a few sexual encounters but none of them were anything worth writing home about. There was no question that tonight with Kento was already leaps and bounds better than anything you ever experienced before, and the feelings that ran deeply between you weaved it with an undercurrent that made it even more special than any connection you've made. His pureness, his consideration for you, his sweetness towards you made you want to do anything for him.

"Good, good."

"Well..."

Awkward silence.

"Should we take off our clothes?" He inquires awkwardly.

"Mm, well, we could always keep kissing while we do it. Makes things a little bit more fun if you want to try."

"Yeah, yeah let's try it."

You smile down at him, tucking the stray pieces of your hair out of the way as you resumed locking lips with him again.

Unexpectedly, Kento takes the reins. Before, the kisses were experimental, slow and tender to express your affection. Now, you kissed as though to express your mutual, stirring desire. Kento moved his lips and tongue as if he was trying to devour you, pushing against you as he sat back up and pulled you into his lap again.

You tug on his bottom lip with your teeth and he hisses and responds by grabbing your breasts. When he does, you release his lip and whine into his mouth. He smirks, pleased with this effect he was having on you, feeling more and more brave the longer he stays immersed in this steamy experience with you. His long fingers quickly move to your bra clasp.

"Okay?" He pants, cheeks still dusted with color. The evidence of his exertion from him putting in the work with you leaves you swooning quite a bit as you take in his pretty, blush tinged face.

You nod and the bra clasp comes undone with little resistance. The weight of your soft globes bounces in the most alluring way when they spill from the cups of cloth. Kento groans, completely mesmerized from the first glance, letting his eyes roam and soak you up, moving back to look up at you where you sit perched in his lap, the perfect position for him to worship.

"You're so beautiful..." He whispers. "So, so beautiful...." He brings your breasts together, loving the line that forms down the middle when he squishes them together, and the way your nipples peek between his fingers. It was awfully possessive, viewing them this way, reserved for his eyes and for his touch only.

He wishes to claim them even more and leans in without a second thought, licking your left tit into his mouth. You throw your head back at the same time his eyes his roll back in his skull, starting to ride the outline of his cock through his jeans as he sucks and laps up your breast to his heart's content.

He pulls back a bit, a saliva string that drips around the pointed end of your nipple and continues in a slick trail as he moves to the right. He surprises you and pins you underneath him, mouth still attached to your right tit. You purr at him as you play with his hair while he sucks in your tits, memorizing the way his blonde locks run like silk through your fingers, how your thighs look now that they're spread on either side of his lean waist.

You help him unzip his skinny jeans, peeling them down as he finishes his work on your breasts that now gleam shiny with his spit, bidding both farewell as he hollows his cheeks and sucks his lips abruptly, leaving both nipples in a pointed puckered state from his tongue.

He watches as you slip out of your leggings underneath him, reaching down to help you tug them off, entranced with the soft flesh that dimples and only adds to the supple, divine figure you possess that he's touched himself at night to countless times. You're completely bare to him now besides your panties, kissed in the moonlight with your hair behind you like a halo.

"You're so perfect..." He praises you again, the shadows lining his face that was surely burning under the warmth of your ethereal gaze.

"I don't understand how I'm so lucky."

"I'm the lucky one." You reassure him as your lovely mouth curls into his favorite smile, gazing in his eyes as you go to rub his cock through his boxers. However, your pupils expand in shock when you're met with a heavy package that doesn't even fit in your hand.

Kento blushed as he noticed your reaction to his size, standing off to the side of the bed and stripping down, sliding his boxers hastily down his long legs. His cock is a slight beige that's sweaty, long, and pink at the tip, and it flops out in front of you all of its manly glory.

You feel equal parts aroused and scared. There is absolutely no shortage of size anywhere on his intimate area. Your pupils expand again as you observe how the circumference is almost proportional to its length, to his large set of balls.

His pubes are neatly trimmed, but there's certainly a generous amount that makes up the forest of dark hair, different from the color on his head that bushes around his thick base. It dances up his belly button in a pattern that makes your brain go fuzzy and your clit throb for attention.

Even if he looks like he could split you in half, you can't help how absolutely heavenly he looks in this moment, looking down at you with shyness and anticipation, like he's equally excited for what's about to happen, and that he hopes you like what you see.

"You're absolutely perfect, Kento..." You whisper. Your fingertips find his in the dark, eyes still locked on each other as he entertwines with yours.

"Every inch of you."

"No way, you're the perfect one..." He takes your hands in both his palms, bringing them to his mouth to plant a set of tender kisses on both sets of knuckles before he turns to his dresser to retrieve one of the condoms that he's had forever but never used, elated that it's with you.

"No way." You shake your head and he blows air through his lips. Before he can slide the condom on, you stop him, "Wait..."

Kento's eyes go wide as he watches you crawl seductively towards him, breasts bouncing, beautiful, and bare across his bed and eye level with his staggering length.

"Let me make you feel good. Please?"

Kento's always wanted a blow job. Truth was, he was hoping that he could possibly get his first tonight with you, but he'd never, ever ask in a million years. He felt like that was way too forward, and the last thing he'd want is to make you uncomfortable or make himself look like a selfish guy. He can't help but feel impossibly turned on in this moment, turning to you with a lustful expression.

"R-really?"

"I'd love to." You purr, aiming your gaze innocently through your eyelashes as you softly kiss his bulging tip. "Let me pleasure you, Kento..."

He tilts his head as he looks down on you, fingers cradling the corner of your jaw as you stick out your tongue, swirling it around the pink tip. Kento shudders immediately and you relish his sensitivity to just the careful licks of your tongue, imagining just how responsive he must be when you're taking the full thing in your mouth, or your pussy.

Your tongue laps slowly around the tip, and then the underside of his shaft, goading him slowly until you wrap your mouth around as much of him as he can, until you slowly begin to bob your head.

"Fffuck...." Kento almost loses his footing at where he's standing next to the bed, hands immediately anchoring themselves in your hair as he can't help but chase that fuzzy feeling you're giving him all over, beginning to rhythmically move his hips into each motion of your pretty lips down the veiny length of his cock.

"That-haaah, please, please keep going..."

You smile and coo to let him know you have absolutely no plans of stopping anytime soon.

He's so soft. His taste is nothing unpleasant or particularly delicious, but oddly rousing in his own way. His faint musk from his bush and salt from his skin makes you want to seek more of him so you can taste him properly, until he's dripping down your throat, or between your legs, you're not picky at all by this point. And feeling him throb in your mouth with every soft purr and moan you give him to let him know how good he feels is so fucking sweet.

"Shit...shit..." Kento pulls out of your warmth unexpectedly, panting and wincing as he feels his balls draw tight, aching by this point as he inadvertently edged himself.

"I'm sorry, aaah..." He grunts and takes a deep breath.

"Are you okay, Ken?" You ask, slightly alarmed as you scoot over and allow him to sit down.

"I'm...I'm perfect." He puffs. "Just...just thought I was gonna cum back there, and I didn't want to. Not yet." He blushes. "I'm really sorry about that. I really really liked it."

"No, don't be sorry." You lean your head on his shoulder, the tunes from the CD were still playing. You two take a breather, pausing to listen to some Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos.

"It-hah...it felt really fucking good, just to let you know." Kento interrupts, one of his hands coming to trace over your spine.

"Haha, I'm so glad." You whisper, moving your lips to kiss his cheek, giving his ear a little lick.

Kento exhales tiredly and you smile as you see him twitch and start to go fully erect again. So adorable.

"Are you sleepy?" You ask, beginning to leave more kisses on his cheeks, then jaw which he's started to clench.

"N-No..." Kento sighs as he closes his eyes. "No way. I'm not ever tired for you." He lays you back on the pillows before rolling the condom on his cock. Then, he returns to kissing down your neck and chest until he gingerly lays his chin on your sternum, just below your breasts.

"I'll just go slow? And tell me if it hurts?"

You nod, doing your best to not tense up when you remember his size you have to contend with. But still, you craved him inside of you more than anything. If there was any cause worthy of getting your insides rearranged for, it would be by Kento, every single time.

"Just...uhm, look at me?" Kento orders sheepishly.

You smile, endeared that he's so eager to try and sit in the driver's seat for once.

"Okay." You look up at him, tenderness lining your pupils and the corners of your eyes soften as you look at Kento on top of you.

Kento smiles back down at you, balancing above you on his forearms, flexing a little bit in adorable display, all for you. You giggle, running your hands up and down his biceps which were surprisingly solid.

He always hid his figure underneath his baggy shorts and hoodies, and you can't help but feel so lucky again that he was being so vulnerable with you like this, electricity running in a steady thrum underneath your skin when you feel him start to ease his weight on top of you.

"You're so beautiful..." He murmurs the phrase like it's the only one he knows. Like he wasn't ever meant to speak unless the words were spent acknowledging the true depths of your beauty, lest it go completely wasted.

He kisses you softly again, daintily licking his tongue into your mouth, pumping his cock up and down. While doing so you feel him gently spread you open with one of his knees. He cradles your head, still keeping himself connected to your lips as he teases his cock in circles near your clit.

Kento didn't have experience, but he did watch plenty of porn. He has a pretty good idea of what he needs to do to make sure you're well warmed up. And ultimately for you, and he'd spend into next morning figuring it out if he needs to.

He takes note when he feels you break away from the kiss to pant and press your head back a little further into his pillow, a sign that he's rubbing and stimulating you right where he needs to. He breathes softly, sweet breath tickling your face as his eyes gently flicker and roam over you, every sip of you he drinks threatening to be the drop too many that leaves him intoxicated.

He uses the round squishy tip of his cock to press and rub your pussy, drawing circles and very barely dipping into your dripping entrance that was starting to build and leak a steady pool of juices. He lays his cock flat against your clit, watching his meaty shaft be hugged by both wet folds as it slides up, and down, the ribbed edges of the condom are even more pronounced with Kento's veins to give your puffy clit all the euphoric friction you need.

"Kento..." You mewl out again, and he uses his kiss to swallow your cry before you can get too loud as he moves to guide himself inside you.

Pure warmth with the wettest silk is all he knows as he slowly enters you for the first time. He's being absolutely gripped by you on all sides like an intoxicating vice, feeling you hug and squeeze and pulse with life around him.

"Baby...holy...fuck..." Kento breathes out, sucking in air through his teeth. He's practically delirious from this foreign feeling, fighting with every ounce of strength he has to continue going slow and not give into that primal itch that's aching to be scratched to fuck you senseless into the bed springs.

He thought the blowjob was heaven, however being inside of you was the hidden pot of honey where he realized he needed to be all this time.

You feel his veins, his curve, the consistent way he throbs in response to every time you clench around him. The shaky and breathless effect you're having on him and hearing his gorgeous voice, soft and gentle in your ear is summoning and releasing butterflies in your belly that you never knew existed. However, you'd be lying if you said his size wasn't pushing you to your absolute limits. You're reminded on all fronts that you're full of him every time you move with every inch he feeds you, now about halfway inside. He is the most endowed man you've had sex with by far, and you whine softly from the stretch.

When he hears your whimpers, he pulls out immediately and sits back on his knees, relieving you with his tongue. His flat, warm muscle laps up the nectar oozing underneath your clit and swirls in figure eights in every sensitive spot he can reach. He's hooked on the taste he left from being joined to you temporarily and presses his face into your dripping warmth, soaking his chin.

You arch your back, toes curled, and he utterly groans, locking an arm around each thigh as he slowly drags his nose back and forth, bumping your clit in the process.

----

Time has now slipped away, completely swallowed up by the wintry night and in every single secret, intimate, steamy, filthy, tender thing that's unraveled tonight in Kento's bed.

By some miracle he's held on like a champion until you both are drenched in sweat, although it becomes clear he's at his limit, the condom practically sliding off with the surplus of sweat and precum you conjured up from him. You both heave with exhaust that's made it's way to the fogged windowsill in the confined space and all the time that's been whittled away in this passionate encounter.

He's licked your warm cunt until an ocean is practically pouring out of you, he's sucked both your nipples into his mouth again to the point that they're most certainly branded with love marks and not just his spit. He's wiggled and curled those long fingers of his inside your silky pussy until you snapped like a rubber band at least twice.

Now, he hovers above you again after putting on a fresh condom, harder than a rock and searing with ache. He kisses you and grunts when he feels you deepen it immediately, apparently eager to taste your nectar after it's been inside his mouth. Now, his cock glides into you, warm and snug, filling every inch perfectly like you two were separately divinely crafted to fit each other.

"So good, Kento..." You reward him with that mellifluous way you rasp out his name, and he cradles your head in his hands as though you could break.

And all you can do as you stare at one another, bodies fully engulfed as he gently rocks his hips, is hold each other close and walk that up that staircase to heaven together, years and years of knowing one another already behind you as the seamless foundation you can use as a bridge.

Kento imagines this is as close to what married people must feel like on their honeymoon. As far as he's concerned in this moment, your pussy is the only pussy he'd like to fuck for the rest of his life.

What would wasting even a precious second on someone else do for him? There's no need. The connection that burns between you right now has long exceeded anything physical, leaving carnality and greed long in the dust and burning in the surplus of time between you that you had already spent.

Now, it's something profoundly emotional that all words fall short of conveying, but only in the gentle push and sway of your bodies moving and rippling like wild tides out at sea as one. It's especially meaningful as he hands over every bit of himself to you. The piece and part of his soul that was untouched, now forever claimed by you, and you only, none else.

"I love you." He whispers and kisses you again, those eyes of sweetest honey amber.

"I love you so much..." He begins to move a little faster against you, his declaration leaving his body with searing passion in its wake. "I always have."

"I love you, Kento...with all my heart." You gasp and feel your jaw slacken, the coil in your lower belly tightening with impossible tension with each deafening thrust. He whines a little louder as his cock slips and squelches with silky obscenity.

"Fuck I...I have to...I'm sorry." He mumbles and kisses you hard, as he holds up your legs and folds them to your chest as he begins to thrust into you lewdly in mating press.

"Kento!"

You cry out his name and he swallows it again, taking care that whatever beautiful sound he can wring out of you stays in this heated space you built together, all for his eyes and ears only. His cock fills, stretches, and impossibly stokes at those leftover embers from all the previous fires he ignited inside you tonight.

Now, you both move and grind with freedom, with sweetest absolution from straying past those lines of friendship you both ached and longed to shatter, set free from your cage with the tender profession of your mutual love.

Your skin smacks and sticks, drenched and salty from resistance built from perspiration and arousal. The heat is almost uncomfortable, but it's all forgotten when you look at him and he gazes down at you with those eyes you have seared into your memory. Your pleasure and love is the very forefront of your brain that guides you down this road, a path you're not afraid of so long as he's the one next to you.

"Gonna cum, I'm gonna....FUCK!"

He yanks you into his mouth again, this time using your kiss as an echo chamber to stifle his sounds as he unloads himself. He shudders as the tension rolls off of him and settles into you like cascading dominoes.

He whimpers quietly, still locked inside your kiss as he jerks sharply a few times for good measure despite the barrier of the condom catching all his cum, bringing his thumb back to your clit as he does so as though to demonstrate what he'd do exactly if the barrier were not in place.

You fall off not long after, with a shiver and tremble that dies in a broken cry against his lips.

"That was...."

"Perfect."

He releases all his weight onto you but it doesn't phase you one bit, his pressure and embrace a welcome respite as you weakly glide down from your peaks. After a moment when he collects his breath, he rolls onto his back next to you, keeping his fingers tangled with yours.

"Y-yeah. To be honest I dunno if perfect comes close.." Kento closes his eyes as he feels sleep begin to rouse in his eyelids with the clearing haze.

"More than perfect.....What's a word for that?" You smile, sleep beginning to tinge the sound of your voice as well.

He lets out a huff, then chuckles. "I dunno, babe. You did kind of just reset my brain back there..."

"We'll go with more than perfect, then. How about heaven?"

He nods and exhales, but the smile that curves at his lips is undeniable in his tone. "That sounds about right to me." He turns to you. "You okay?"

"I'm okay, I just." You look out at the window, briefly surveying the sights available to you in the present moment: the flurry of snowflakes in the window, the dip of the mattress where he lays next to you, the shadow of his eyes, the glow that raptures both of your skin.

"Things aren't ever gonna be the same with us, are they?"

"No, I guess not." He scoots closer to you, noses inches away. "But I'm okay with it. Are you?"

"I'm more than okay." You whisper with sincerity. "As long as I have you."

He smiles at your words, not getting over this welcome feeling of being needed by someone, especially you. "Course you do. I'm not letting you go after this."

"I love you so much. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas. I love you more."

And the sleep that befell you afterwards could not be more peaceful, wrapped up in the conclusion of your lovemaking and the blissful beginning of a new chapter between you.

You shared sleepy laughs and infinite cuddles the next morning, huddled for warmth and tucked into one of his shirts as you talked over a morning cup of coffee before playing Mario again. You received an awkward note on his door with a noise complaint afterwards, which you giggled and hid your face in your hands, Kento's face a bright red.

Needless to say, you got pretty creative over winter break with finding places to meet and burn off steam, from his place to yours, to the little motel on the edge of town, to the backseat of your shitty pickup truck with fogged windows in the snow.

But one thing you could count on was each other. Love in the purest form of brown eyes waiting for you outside your class door, fingers coming to find their home in the spaces between yours as you walked hand in hand together.

His clear commitment to you made all the outside attention cease when it was obvious he was happy in love with you, his best friend, solidified permanently in that playlist that never did leave his CD player since that night.

It never made you wonder or second guess yourself again. You belonged together, it was as inevitable as the snowflakes that landed in his hair to the crinkle in your nose as he pulls you into his arms and kisses you again.

#jelly's 12 days of smutmas ✼ ｡ﾟ･ྀི𓈒 ݁⋆#from my trees . ˚ 𖧷 ·𓇥 ° . ♡#nanami kento x reader #nanami kento smut #nanami smut #nanami x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #smutmas #x female reader #x fem!reader #Spotify #dividers by saradika

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corazondebeskar-reads · 1 year ago

Text

the art of breaking (dark!joel miller x f!reader; dead dove do not eat)

the art of breaking part one | part two

very dark!Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 10k

Summary: Your meeting is happenstance, but everything that follows? Well, that’s all Joel. He just knows you’re going to be his perfect little toy. He just has to show you how.

written for the #deaddovedecember2023 event hosted by @romana-after-dark | also on ao3 | dedicating this to @kewwrites, who is a master and icon of unsettling-but-still-romantic dark fic & whose incredible vibes made me feel brave enough to write this. love you ty 🖤

dividers by @saradika-graphics

NOTE: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT.

Seriously, I am saying this as clearly as I can: read the warnings carefully. If anything listed is something you don’t want to read, don’t. The working title for this was “the darkest joel” for a reason (and I actually tamed it down/cut out some of the intense scenes). It’s modern-day/no outbreak, but Joel still lost Sarah and went off the deep end. He was probably a good dom at some point, but now he’s just fucked up.

If you're worried it'll be too dark, it probably will be.

Warnings under the cut:

Warnings: dead dove do not eat, non-con, dub-con, very dark!Joel, BAD bdsm etiquette, not SSC/RACK compliant, sadist!Joel x masochist!reader, coercion, corruption, manipulation, isolation, gaslighting, captivity, sadism, masochism, pain play, extreme punishment, semi-permanent damage (a bone is broken, I’m not fucking around), whipping, spanking, face slapping, tit slapping, impact play in general, mentions of vomit (no description), oral, anal, vaginal, degradation, humiliation, overstimulation, edging, denial, dacryphilia, bastinado (mentioned), restraints, very brief knifeplay, tiny drop of blood play, Joel sees reader as property, inadequate aftercare

Again, I cannot say this enough. This is a dark fantasy and should not be taken as representative of a good d/s relationship—it’s abuse masquerading. Just because I wrote it doesn’t mean I’m condoning it.

Please read responsibly.

I. in media res

-the fracture

There’s one comfort Joel almost never denies you.

Well, never denies himself.

Unless you’ve been real bad, you always take your place in bed with him at the end of the day. You think it’s so he has easy access to you if he wakes up horny, but honestly, that happens a lot less than expected. He works hard all day; he needs his sleep.

No, he likes the comfort of your warm body next to his. The way you curl up and press kisses to him, no matter how bad he hurt you during the day. His sweet little pet, desperate for every bit of his affection you can earn. He’s always gentle with you here.

It’s part of what makes The Pit so effective.

It fucks with your brain on so many levels, exposes you to so many fears, and then you have to reconcile that you were bad enough for Joel to deny himself the comfort of you in his arms at night. That you’re so undeserving of his love.

Of all of the ways he punishes you, this will be the worst. You can take the humiliation, the pain—not easily, but you can, and there’s usually immediate care after.

But a night in The Pit will tear you down completely.

You hadn’t known what to expect when he said you’d have to spend the night alone, but it wasn’t this.

“No, please,” you scream, stumbling to keep up as Joel pulls you by your hair.

“Shut up,” he snarls.

The soil is loose, clinging to your sweat as you try to right yourself. It’s a futile effort. When you reach The Pit, he holds you down with his boot on your chest while he unlocks and opens the bars.

“Get in,” he says.

You’re sobbing and shaking, skin already gone cold. Somehow, you manage to obey.

The Pit is exactly what it sounds like. It has an open wooden frame with mesh on the side walls to keep the dirt in place. The bottom is bare soil. Mounted to the top of the beams is a grate of bars that sit flush with the ground.

It’s big enough for you to curl up at the bottom—which is what you do now.

“I’m sorry,” you cry.

He shuts and locks the gate.

II. from the start

-intact

It was kismet, really, that he was there that night. He didn’t usually go out for drinks with the guys, not wanting to be the boss who was always cramping their style. But Tommy had dragged him out tonight, and so he was witness (with the rest of the pub) to your relationship falling apart.

And okay, maybe he went outside for a smoke after you moved the fight to the alley so he could eavesdrop. But it wasn’t his fault. How could he not?

You had said, “Maybe you’re just not man enough for me,” to the brawny but pathetic prick across from you in the booth. “Wanting you to be rough doesn’t make me a freak.”

“That’s not rough; that’s fuckin’ abuse. You’re sick,” your boyfriend had practically shouted.

The discussion evolved into a screaming match in the alley, where Joel had been pleased to be right. It was about more than just a little rough sex or spanking.

At the end of it, your boyfriend stormed off, and you went back in the pub. Joel found you at the bar, throwing back another shot and wiping your tears away.

“You did good back there,” he says.

You startle and look at the stranger. The very handsome stranger. Rugged, with a salt and pepper beard and a scar across his nose.

“What do you mean?”

“Standin’ up for yourself. Not a lot of people woulda been confident enough. ‘Specially not a girl lookin’ for that.”

You glare at the bar counter. “M’not a weirdo.”

“Nah, you’re not. Shit like that is perfectly normal. He’s just pathetic.”

You look back up at him, and he sticks one hand in his pocket, trying to adjust himself discreetly. The tear streaks on your cheeks are getting to him.

“I don’t know. He’s probably right. It’s not your garden variety shit,” you say. The tequila and his gentle eyes have loosened your tongue.

“I doubt that. Try me,” he says.

“What?”

“Try me. Tell me what he freaked out over, and I’ll tell ya if it’s weird. Trust me, I’ve seen it all.”

You hesitate, but he looks genuine and kind. “I asked him to hit me. Like, in the face. And to, y’know, pin me down and—” you trail off.

“And make ya take it?” he guesses.

You nod. “He thought I like, I dunno, actually wanted to be raped,” you whisper the last word, eyes darting to the people around you.

Joel laughs. “Honey, that’s so normal, you wouldn’t believe. I’ve helped ladies out with that little roleplay more times than I can count. If that’s your deepest, darkest fantasy, and he couldn’t take it, then you’re better off without him.”

“It’s not,” you mumble.

“Speak up, honey.”

“It’s not my deepest, darkest fantasy. It’s probably one of the least of them.”

He grins. “Then you’re definitely better off. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with likin’ things on the darker side, sweetheart.”

You’re feeling hot all over and are about to ask him more when your phone rings. It’s your idiot boyfriend, who’s realized you have the car keys.

“I better go. Thank you,” you say, standing and offering him your hand.

He gives it a firm shake, tipping his head. “I’m Joel. And if you’re ever so inclined, I’d like to take you out sometime.”

You laugh. “Let me break up with my boyfriend first, Joel.” But you dig a pen out of your purse and write your number on one of the tiny bar napkins.

Your first date was so normal. You’re not sure what you expected. To jump right to hardcore sex?

But no, he turns up at your door in a neatly pressed green button-up, black slacks, and an ostentatious belt buckle. He greets you with a kiss on the cheek and a bouquet of wildflowers, lavender stalks nestled between pink honeysuckle and red salvia. Not a traditional arrangement, but it reminds you of a summer sunset.

“From my garden,” he says a little sheepishly, but you like them a lot better than some generic store display. You tell him as much and his cheeks flush a little.

You return the kiss and pop the flowers in a vase of water before he sweeps you off in his pickup. You aren’t surprised, really, but it’s more charming than some of the other men and their gaudy trucks.

Joel’s is older but well-kept, with minimal rusting around the wheel wells. The bed is open, and you can see streaks of grease and paint spills. A silver tool chest is mounted against the back of the cab. Everything inside and out has a light coating of sawdust.

He isn’t some insecure man with a truck big enough to make up for what isn’t in his britches, that’s for certain. You’d hazard a guess that the corded muscle of his forearms and the breadth of his shoulders are well-earned.

He holds the door open for you, which you tease him for as you slide onto the truck’s bench seat.

“Ain’t doin’ it ‘cause you’re incapable,” he drawls. “Or because you’re a lady,” he adds when he sees the glint in your eye.

“Oh yeah, cowboy?”

His grin is lopsided, a little dark. “Nah. I just think you deserve to be taken care of, s’all.”

You flush, the back of your neck burning, but you don’t fight the smile that threatens to break out. “Thank you, Joel.”

He shakes his head. He’s pretty sure, now, that if he plays his cards right, he’s found somethin’ special.

He waits three whole dates to take you to bed, and even then, it doesn’t start dirty.

“Let me get to know your body first, baby,” he urges when you ask him to fuck you rough. Instead, he takes you apart piece by piece. First with his tongue, and then his fingers. He brings you to the edge over and over, but never lets you fall.

After a while, you’re a broken record, pleas and sobs spilling from you.

“That’s music to my ears, darlin’,” he says, pulling his fingers out abruptly to see how your cunt throbs for him. He spits on your clit and watches it drip down to join the mess between your thighs.

“Please, please, Joel,” you beg.

“Please who now?”

“Please, sir,” you try, and are rewarded with his sharp grin. But not with an orgasm.

He slaps your cunt. “That’s more like it, baby. You remember who you’re talkin’ to, alright?”

You nod. “Yes, sir; thank you, sir.”

He shakes his head, sucking on your clit for a moment before pulling back to get a good look at you. “You do like a little pain, huh?”

“Would like more,” you say.

“Oh yeah? What would you let me do to you?”

“Anything, please, sir.”

He clicks his tongue at you. “Don’t go sayin’ that to someone you barely know. It’s okay to mean it when you trust somebody, but you’re gonna end up in more trouble than you bargain for if you pass that out like candy.”

“I do mean it.”

“Yeah? You’ll let me do this?” His open palm smacks across your face, leaving a sting tingling on your cheek and a lightness to your brain.

Tears spring to your eyes, but you nod frantically.

“What about this?” he grabs a nipple in his calloused fingers and yanks, twisting.

You yelp, but it trails off to a moan, and you nod.

“Goddamn, baby. S’good. But what about this?” He flicks open the switchblade he keeps in his pocket.

You jerk and whine, eyes wide and wet as he brings it to your breast. Your breathing falls shallow as you try to hold still, the point scraping the delicate skin as he circles it. But the look you’re giving him almost has him cumming in his pants like he were twenty years younger.

“Fuck, you weren’t kidding. I mean, you’ve gotta have limits; everyone does. But you just want me to hurt you, huh?” He digs the tip of the blade in a little on the side of your breast, cock throbbing as you gasp, and you both watch a tiny drop of blood bead and trickle down the blade.

He puts it away. “No,” he says when you whimper. “Not today. I ain’t prepared for all that.”

Joel doesn’t like to break his toys. Not permanently. Just enough that he can put them back together how he likes and then do it all over again.

“Don’t need to be prepared; just do it,” you whine.

He slaps you again and wrenches your head up with a hand in your hair. “First of all, I fuckin’ told you no. Second, I know you want to be a stupid little cunt for me, but I’m not about to cut you open without any goddamn first aid shit.”

He leans back and smacks the breast he had cut. He hits you over and over, alternating sides, until your chest burns, and you’re sobbing.

He looks you over briefly and then shoves his hand between your thighs. “You’re wetter than a slip ‘n slide, baby.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” you whisper.

“I know,” he says, and wipes the tears from your cheek with his thumb. He feels your cunt twitch when he brings his thumb to his mouth and sucks it clean.

It’s the last straw for him. He’s not opened you enough, but he has a feeling you’ll like it better this way anyway.

You cry out, back arching when he shoves into you. He meant to go slow, he really did, if only to drag out the anticipation. But you’re so warm. So wet. So he just stuffs himself inside.

It’s not that he doesn’t believe you love the pain; it’s just that he can’t resist feeling the evidence for himself. He slaps you across the face while you’re still processing his cock, and the resulting clench and jerk of your body drag a moan from him.

He holds back, regulates his urge to pull each whimper and scream from you, but it’s still so fucking good. It’s been a long time since he’s doled out real cruelty to a slut like you who loves to suffer.

When he finally lets you cum, it’s when he’s about to. He pulls out and spanks your cunt, granting his permission. As your pussy flutters desperately around nothing, he cums on it, watching the way it gets prettier as he paints it.

You black out for a minute. When you come to, he’s wiping you down gently with a warm washcloth, wicking the sweat off your face and chest before cleaning his cum from your curls. You whimper, and he grins, leaning over to steal a kiss.

Even after that first night, he goes slow. He can’t scare ya, not while you still have someplace to run. Plus, it’s so much easier if he starts planting the seeds for your training now.

He knows you’ll beg for it, anyway. He’s been getting the nastiest text messages from you. Part of it is the dopamine; he’s not stupid. But part of you really wants this shit. And the rest? Well. You’ll get there.

It’s the little things. He orders you a black decaf at the drive-thru when you ask for a latte. You start to correct him, like you think he’s made a mistake, but he gives you a look, and you shut your mouth immediately.

When he pulls away from the speaker, you look over at him again. “Sorry,” you mumble.

“Sorry…?”

You squirm a little, heart pounding, unsure if he’s really doing this at the Dunkin’ Donuts. “Sorry, sir.”

He smiles and rubs his hand on your thigh where it peeks out from your skirt. “Thanks, baby.”

And that’s all it takes. You take the cup when he hands it to you and you’re quick to say, “Thank you, sir,” even though the kid at the window is still passing things through to Joel and can clearly hear you.

-fissured

It goes on like that for a couple of months, but it doesn’t all go so smoothly. One night, he picks you up from work and takes you to a restaurant, saying he wants to treat you. Halfway through the meal, he asks for your panties.

“What?” you say, shocked at his vulgar language in the dining room.

“Take ‘em off and hand ‘em to me.”

You go to stand, probably thinking you can go to the bathroom to obey.

He shakes his head, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Right here, right now, baby.”

“Joel,” you hiss, sitting back down, “I can’t do that.”

He fixes you with a calm smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, raising one finger in the air. “I’ll give ya three choices. The first one, the one I’m going to advise you pick, is that you do it right now, and I’ll only punish ya for talkin’ back.”

“The second one,” he holds up another finger for emphasis, “is you can go to the bathroom to take ‘em off, but you’re gonna pay for it when we get home. The third one is where you don’t listen, we leave right now, and you learn to fuckin’ regret it.”

Your breathing is shallow, and your pretty eyes are shining. If he wasn’t fully hard before, he is now.

“I-I can’t,” you whimper. “Please, sir.”

“You got about thirty seconds to make up your mind.” The softness is gone—from his voice, from his face, from the set of his shoulders.

“Fuck,” you whisper, and you stand up. You’re only in the bathroom for a minute, and when you sit back down, you try to hand them to him under the table.

“Nah, that was only a choice if you were good,” he says, smirking and laying his expectant hand on the white linens.

Mortified, you ball them up tight in your fist and press them into his hand. He slides them into his pants pocket.

He doesn’t say anything else about it for the rest of dinner, asking instead about your projects at work and your visit with your parents over the holidays. You feel sick, barely eating a thing, and biting your lip to stave off the tears.

As soon as you’re in the truck, you start to cry. “I’m sorry, I was just scared and—”

“Shut up. You made your choice. You’re not sorry. You’re just afraid of the consequences.”

“N-no, I am sorry, I mean it.”

“You’re gonna have to prove it.” He doesn’t look at you on the drive home, doesn’t speak again. Doesn’t even turn the radio on; just listens to you sniffle.

When he parks, he sets his hand on your thigh. “Don’t worry, baby. I know you can be my good girl. All you gotta do is take your punishment and learn from it, okay?”

You sniffle again and nod, blinking through tear-laden lashes at him.

“So pretty when you cry for me,” he murmurs. He gets out and comes around to open your door, offering a hand to help you step down from the tall truck. You take it, and he holds on, leading you inside his house.

He sits sprawled on the couch, thighs parted wide to make room and waits until you’re comfortably kneeling between his legs. You’re sat in silence, head bowed, arms folded behind your back.

“Tell me what you did wrong today.”

This is a first, but not a last. Even on days when nothing egregious has happened, you will follow this ritual. He’ll ask for your sins, and you’ll confess. There will always be something you’ll owe him for.

“I argued when you gave me orders. I was disobedient.”

“Anything else I need to know about, baby?”

“No, sir.”

“Why’d you argue?”

“I was afraid. I’m sorry.”

“Save your grovelin’ for after, baby. Why were you afraid?”

“I didn’t want people to see. I didn’t want to get kicked out or arrested.”

“You think I’d let anything happen to you? You think I would have given you an order that put either of us at any kinda risk?”

Your face burns. “I—”

“I thought you trusted me.” He sounds hurt, and you’re a little nauseous when you look up to see his eyes wide and sad, lips turned into a wounded scowl.

Your shoulders slump. “I didn’t think. I panicked.”

“Hmm. Okay, I can work with that.”

You look up at him, brow scrunched and lips pouting as you try to parse his words.

He smiles. It’s cold, and his eyes are steel.

You swallow hard, and his grin widens, quirking into a smirk.

“Alright, baby. I got just the thing.”

He leads you into the ensuite. You kneel on the little rug by the tub while he fills it. You’re too afraid to ask what’s happening, so you just sit quietly. He leaves the room and doesn’t come back until the tub is nearly full, and you’re starting to worry that you were supposed to be monitoring it.

He comes back in, and once it’s nearing the lip of the tub, he turns off the faucet. He has you kneel on the top of the three steps leading up to the edge. It’s the most luxurious thing in this house, and you suspect he installed it custom so he could soak his aching muscles.

He bends you over the edge so you’re leaning close to the water and crouches down behind you. It’s a pleasant surprise when he spreads you wide and licks from your clit to your asshole.

He stays there for a few minutes, indulging in your wet cunt and the cries it draws from your lips. After he’s had his fill, he stands up and lubes up his cock before pushing his way into your ass. He’s generous with the lube but rarely preps you, since you both like it better when it hurts.

You’re writhing a little beneath him, wriggling your hips to try to ease the passage. Once he’s fully seated inside you, he grabs the back of your head and shoves it under the water before fucking hard into you.

You thrash, displacing water from the tub, until he yanks you back up.

You gasp for air and scrabble to get a grip on the wet tile, but he pushes you back down and groans at how tight you get while you’re struggling.

He pulls you roughly back up. “Gonna keep going until you stop makin’ a fuss.”

You go to protest, to panic, and he pushes you back down.

The next time he pulls you out, he spanks you until your skin is burning. “Fuckin’ trust me. You think I’m gonna let you drown?”

“No, sir,” you cry, but it’s garbled as he pushes you back down. You’re still fighting him each time.

He pulls you back out and repeats the beating. “Relax, or we’re gonna be here all night.”

He continues the process a few more times and then gives you a reprieve, letting go of your hair so you can rest your cheek against the cold edge of the tub while he pounds into you. He reaches and rubs featherlight circles around your clit until you’re softly moaning.

“You gonna trust me?”

“I’m trying, my body panics,” you pant.

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to ya. You hear me? You know you’re panicking, so focus on me instead.”

“Yes, sir.”

It shouldn’t make sense, but you think he’s long warped your brain anyway. The next time he pushes you underwater, you clench your fists tight and focus on what oxygen you do have, even if he knocks a little out with each thrust.

His hand in your hair is your anchor and buoy. You tense when you feel your body start to jerk, trying so hard to control it.

He pulls you up. “Just like that, baby. Again.”

It gets just a little easier each time. He leaves you under longer, until your lungs are burning, and you’re on the edge of gasping in water, but he pulls you out in time.

“Fuck, you’re doing so well.” He’s a little fascinated. He hadn’t really been sure it could be done or if your survival instincts would go into a frenzy. But here you are, letting him almost fucking drown you.

Not that he would.

Despite being balls deep in your tight little asshole, he isn’t trying to reach his orgasm. Not yet, staving off his pleasure so he can keep a clear head.

He keeps it up just a little longer. You’re getting tired and tolerating less and less time underwater. The last time he pulls you up, he pinches your clit and tells you to cum while he fills you.

He dunks you again while you cum, and you clamp down on him tighter than you have before, convulsing on his cock. When he pulls you back up, you’re gasping and sobbing. He pulls out and wraps you in a towel, easing you to the wet floor while he cleans up.

When he comes back to you, he helps you stand and dry off, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“So?”

Your brow furrows. It’s not what he usually asks after a punishment, but you think you know what he means. “I’m sorry. I trust you, I promise.”

“I know. M’so proud of you for taking that. You’re turning out so nicely, sweet thing.”

In the morning, you’re almost late to work after sucking him off when you should have been getting dressed. He’s about to walk out the door to head to the site when he hears your frustrated voice from the bedroom.

“Joel, where are my underwear? I need to fuckin’ leave.”

“I told you, baby. There was a price to pay when you picked the bathroom. Y’ain’t wearing ‘em anymore.”

“What?”

He doesn’t need to see you to smirk at the shocked expression he knows is on your face. “We’ll talk about it more tonight; I gotta run.”

-avulsed

“Y’know, baby,” Joel says, leaning forward to rub your shoulder. “They just don’t fuckin’ appreciate you.”

You’re bent over, elbows on your knees, crying with your face buried in your hands. You sit up and sniffle, wiping the tears. “It’s fine; it’s not like I need to be coddled at work.”

All the stress of the PR world is getting to you, and you hate it, you fucking hate it, but you dropped 50k on a degree, so now you’re stuck.

“But they make you work all this overtime, cut your team in half, and then berate you when you can’t meet the client’s deadline? You do not deserve that, baby.”

You let him coax you into his lap, facing him so you can bury your face in his soft, worn tee. He rubs your back and holds your head to his chest.

“You’re too good to me,” you mumble.

“Nah, darlin’, I’ve told ya a thousand times. You deserve to be taken care of.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I, well. I was thinkin’...”

You wait, but when he doesn’t pick back up, you sit up and look at him.

“I dunno. It’s nothin’,” he says.

“Please tell me?”

“Alright, fine. Now, I don’t want ya to feel any pressure. It’s just a thought. But maybe you should just quit and stay with me a while, ‘till you can find something better?”

You can’t tell if he’s joking. He must see something on your face, because he tips your chin up so you’re looking into his eyes.

“I know it’s sudden, but I mean it. Let me take care of ya while you figure shit out. We don’t gotta treat it like living together if y’ain’t ready. But I’d be open to that conversation, too.”

It doesn’t take much more than that. The first couple weeks, he lets you give it a try—searching for new degree programs, applying for jobs you know you’re overqualified for just to try something different.

After nothing pans out, he suggests you both take a week off. Him from work and you from the burden of trying to escape unemployment. Just relax, like a little staycation.

It’s bliss. You go on dates, eat pizza and marathon the “Jurassic Park” movies, and fuck like crazy.

On the third night, he sits you down. On his cock, of course. While you’re bouncing and brainless, he cups your cheek. “Baby, you’ve been too damn stressed still. What if we… well, what if we tried out a day or two like we’ve been talking about?”

Sometimes, you whisper to him in the darkness, usually while he’s balls deep, how you wish you could be his all the time. His good girl. His pet. And he whispers back, lures you right in with promises of taking care of everything, of you not having a worry or care in the world. Just him.

Now, he fondles your tits while he murmurs to you. “We can just wake up together, and I can take care of ya. Everything you need, baby. All you’d have to do is be good for me, yeah?”

You moan and grind down harder on his cock. “Please, sir. I want it more than anything. Just to be yours.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

Joel had no patience for brats, so he usually broke his toys in sooner into the training process. He liked ‘em nice and obedient—scared, if that’s what it took, but devoted. But you had been from the start—you wanted to be good in all the ways you could never seem to be to other people. Your family, your job, the world seemed to just demand more and more.

Joel was the first person to make you feel like you had actually, really, truly pleased him. There wasn’t a higher mark you should have made. There wasn’t any expectation for you to give more and more.

His orders were complete, always. You learned that very quickly. Attempts to go above and beyond were rebuked.

“If I wanted that, I woulda said so,” he told you. And like everything else, you committed his words to memory.

It helped that he gave praise freely. You didn’t have to wonder if he was satisfied, if you should have licked him differently, if you should have made prettier faces while you came. He reassured you until you believed him, and then kept going anyway.

It made it easier for him to slowly peel you away from the ungrateful world.

“You don’t have to take that,” he’d say after watching your face fall further and further while on the phone with your mom. “Family ain’t supposed to make you feel like shit.”

They made it too easy, really, and your relationship with them would have likely just fizzled out. But in the end, he had to step in and snap it off.

You asked him to come with you to dinner at their house. He was hesitant. He wasn’t really the boyfriend type. He wasn’t really even your boyfriend. That was too weird a word for either of you, not when he owned you.

But he knows you didn’t want to go alone, and he has a feeling he’ll be cleaning up the mess anyway.

You want to give them a chance. Things have been so tense, and they said they missed you. But they didn’t even make it through the entrée without ridiculing you.

When your father asks how work is going, you quietly confess to quitting, hastily reassuring them that you are looking for a new position. Though, and you keep this part to yourself, you maybe haven’t been trying that hard.

“What do you mean you quit? How are you paying your bills? You better not have come here to ask for money,” your father says, setting down his fork to glare at you.

“Well, I’ve been living with Joel,” you mumble to the tablecloth.

“I didn’t raise you to be a gold digger,” your mother chides.

Joel tries to bite his tongue and let them dig their own graves. But your father calls you a “fucking whore,” and he can’t stand it. Can’t stand the way you’re cowering in your chair, fighting back tears.

“You watch your mouth,” Joel snaps at your father.

You look up, mouth agape, eyes darting from Joel to your parents.

“Mind your business,” your dad tells him.

Joel stands up and throws his napkin on the table. “She is my fuckin’ business. I wouldn’t stand by and let anyone talk to her like that. You’re not an exception just because you managed to get it up long enough to cum in your wife.”

“Joel,” you whisper, tugging at his sleeve. You’re burning, melting on the spot, from the vulgar way he’s talking to them. For him, someone who’s always strict about manners and proper hospitality, to talk back like this? God, you think, he must really love you.

He puts a hand on the back of your neck and holds firmly as you lean into it. He rounds back on your parents. “You treat her like fuckin’ dirt beneath your feet, and I’m tired of it. You don’t deserve the fuckin’ dirt beneath her feet.”

He shoves his chair back and grabs your hand. “C’mon, baby; we’re leaving.”

You take it and stand up, letting him pull you along. Your father follows you into the foyer, and you try not to look at him while you shove your shoes on.

Joel holds your coat out while you slip into it, and you tune out whatever your dad is yelling now. You don’t want to hear it; you know it’s nasty, and your whole world has narrowed to Joel anyway.

He holds out the key. “Go wait in the truck, baby.”

And you do.

He comes out about five minutes later, red-faced and huffing with fury. He doesn’t say a word when he gets in; just throws the truck into reverse and pulls away. You both ignore the blood on his knuckles.

Once you’re on the road, he looks over at you and sighs. “C’mere, sweetheart.”

You unbuckle and slide over to the middle seat, tucking your hand between his warm body to curl around his arm. “I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“Whaddya sorry for? None of that was your fault.” He kisses the top of your head and cups your cheek at the stoplight. “It was gonna happen eventually, anyway.”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the ride home is silent while you breathe in his comforting musk and try to relax. But the tension is unrelenting, the horrible rotting feeling eating away at your spine.

He knows. Knows what you need, knows what he can do to seal this moment forever. He waits until he’s unzipping the pretty little cocktail dress you’d stressed over.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” he murmurs, breaking away from where he was sucking his claim down your neck to swap out your delicate necklace with his collar.

He unhooks the bra and kisses the marks he left behind with the cane, your penance for being allowed to wear it. It leaves you bare to him, and his hands turn greedy. He presses biting kisses against your lips while digging fingers into your bruises, swallowing your whimpers.

He grabs you by the neck and squeezes the sides of your throat, holding you to him while your vision blurs. When he lets go, you stumble, but his arm around your back holds you upright. He slaps your face with quick, sharp blows in rapid succession to keep you unsteady.

“Knees, hands behind your head,” he says, and lets go.

You fall but are quick to right yourself and take the position. He wastes no time, giving you another harsh smack before grabbing your hair and shoving his cock into your throat.

You choke and gag but keep your hands in place even as your head spins. You feel limp and grateful that he doesn’t seem to require any effort from you as he uses you without mercy.

“Look at you. You’ve got my whole cock down your throat. You’re so fuckin’ good for me.”

Your eyes are already glazed over, and you moan your appreciation around him.

He pulls out and hauls you to your feet. “I know what you need, sweetheart. Get your ass downstairs.”

He fucks you, beats you, uses you wherever he wants. But the basement is where he keeps the heavy equipment and where you know you’re about to have your mind and body pushed to the absolute limit.

You’re ready, he thinks, when he gets down and finds you waiting perfectly in place for him, eyes wide like he’s descended from on high. He jerks a thumb to the wooden post, and you meet him there.

“Forget about what they want you to be,” he murmurs as he closes the steel cuffs around your ankles. “You know what you want, baby. Right?”

“Mhm,” you nod, already slipping away into that safe place only Joel can get you to.

“What do you want to be?” he asks, binding your arms up over your head to the eye bolt at the top of the post.

“Yours.” It’s half-whisper, half-whine.

“Yeah? You just wanna be mine? You don’t want to get a new job?”

“No,” you finally confess. “But—”

“But what, baby? If you say somethin’ about money or bills, I’m gonna be mighty unhappy.”

You bite your lip. “I’m scared one day, you’ll wake up and not want me anymore.”

“That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, sweetheart. You think I put all this work into helpin’ you, into teaching you how to be mine, just to toss ya out? You’re hurtin’ my feelings.”

“I’m sorry,” you say automatically.

He slides a silicone cock into the bracket lined right up with your mouth. It’s a fairly standard size, since he knows you’re going to thrash around and doesn’t want you gagging too much and throwing up.

Your torso gets tied to the post by your tits, the wood nestled between them and rope woven around. Securing you there forces your head onto the toy, but he doesn’t make you take it all the way. You keep your mouth open and don’t move closer or further, waiting for his command.

“Suck on it whenever you’d like. You’re going to need it.”

Your eyes roll back a little at his promise. If he thinks you’re going to need something in your mouth to self-soothe, you’re in for an absolutely amazing time.

“Focus on me. That’s all you’ll need to do from now on, baby. No more worries in that pretty little head, okay?”

The first strike is a warm-up. When you feel the lash of his favorite whip lick your ass, you moan. It’s a moderately short signal whip that he wields like a fucking pro. His warmups are quick but thorough, and you’re squirming when he moves on to your thighs and shoulders.

“Already?” he says, laughing when you whine around the silicone cock.

You’re absentmindedly sucking on it when he starts a harsher assault. A particularly sharp strike stings at the valley where your ass meets your thighs, and you yelp, jerking a little and gagging yourself on the dildo.

His smirk burns into your back as the cry melts into a moan, and you writhe a little, trying to get friction where you need it most. What you get, though, is the tip of the whip against your cunt.

By the time he moves around to your tits, they’re covered in spit, heaving with the effort of holding back your orgasm. He comes up to you first, and pinches at your nipples.

“Aw, does my dumb little cunt want to cum?” He croons, tugging and twisting until you moan. He laughs when all you can get out is a muffled “mhm.”

“Tell ya what. You can cum all you want while I hurt you tonight, okay?”

He punctuates it with a particularly cruel pinch, and that, combined with his permission, is all you need to let the pleasure shudder through you.

“Yeah? You gonna get off to being my little toy? Gonna let me do whatever I want?”

You moan around the fake cock, easing it further into your throat.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He doesn’t give a warm-up on your tits, figuring you’re already so far gone it doesn’t fuckin’ matter.

He’s right. The first lash is harsh, a welt blooming across the top of your breast in its wake, but you groan, trying to press your cunt up against the post for any relief.

You don’t need it, though. He brings you to your peak again with the skilled flick of his wrist, landing blows across the fat of your breasts. He waits until you’re mid-orgasm to bring the whip hard across your nipples.

The resulting wail almost makes him cum in his pants. He does it only twice more, relishing in your agony, but restraining himself from just letting loose. Not with the whip, as much as he’d like to. Maybe later with a flogger.

Once he’s taken it as far as he’s willing to risk, he moves back around to give the rest of you the same treatment. The hardest hits push you over the edge, and by the time his arm is getting tired, you’re sobbing and writhing in your restraints, overstimulated in every way.

He unlatches your ankles first, helping you find steady footing before untying your wrists and torso. You drop to your knees and open your mouth, throat aching for his cock after the tease of the toy.

He doesn’t have the willpower to torment you by denying it tonight. Instead, he nearly pops the button off his jeans in his urgency to pull his cock out and shove it as far down your throat as he can.

Your arms find their place behind your back, and you just take it. He fucks into you without restraint. It’s filthy, from the mess you’re making to the wet choking sounds he pushes out of you with each thrust.

You’re shaking, and he pulls out abruptly.

“I said while I’m hurting you. You don’t get to just cum from getting facefucked.”

“Then hurt me, please,” you sob. It’s right there; you’re so close.

He slaps you across the face and laughs as you cum, shoving back into your throat while you’re still riding out the aftershocks.

He pulls back out, and you whine until he yanks you up by the bicep and pushes you over to the padded bench, bending you over it and shoving into your sopping cunt.

“Still disappointed?” he teases.

“N-no,” you pant. “Please hurt me.”

“Beg me properly, greedy little cunt.”

You clench around him just at the words, but obey. “Please, sir, please hurt me so I can cum. Please.”

“I’ve been hurtin’ you all night, baby,” he says, voice thick with false pity. “Don’t you want me to be gentle with you now?” He can feel how hard you’re trying not to cum as he mocks you.

“No,” you sob. “No, love me, hurt me, please.”

It’s got an edge of desperation and heartbreak to it that he just loves.

He smacks your already bruising ass until you sob harder, shaking uncontrollably as you cum. He wraps his hands around your throat and fucks you through it until he cums, hips stuttering, and filling your cunt with his spend.

He lets himself collapse a little on top of you, pinning you with his weight against the bench with his softening cock still buried in you. “Feel loved now?”

You’re still crying, and when he folds his arms around your chest, elbows resting on the table, you cling to him. “Love you,” you murmur over and over, pressing kisses up and down his forearms.

He nuzzles his face into your neck, kissing and sucking at you. “I know, baby. You know I love ya.” He’s half-hard—not something that happens a lot anymore at his age, so he’s not gonna waste it. He pulls out just to manhandle you up onto the bench on your back, climbing up between your legs and shoving back in.

It’s a little sloppy until he’s fully hard again; your combined cream making things a little too slippery. Once he’s erect, though, he sets a punishing pace, folding you in half with your legs up by your ears. He works your clit with his hand, relishing in the way you’re fucking exhausted and overstimulated, but your poor clit’s been neglected. It means he can twist and pull on it, tugging until you give him more and more, until you’re sobbing for mercy that you know you’ll never get.

He doesn’t ease up until he pulls out to cum over your tits and face.

“Mine,” he snarls, shoving his fingers into your swollen cunt and feeding you what’s left of his first orgasm and your… well, he’s not really sure how many. A fuckin’ lot. “You’re all mine. Little fuckin’ toy to do whatever I want, right?”

You’re still gasping for breath, having been half-suffocated in that position, but when you look at him, it’s like he’s a fucking god. “Yes, sir.”

-broken

The day had started out fine.

He’d laid out a dress for you to wear. Sometimes, he made you go around bare for a while, just to fuck with your head a little, but he prefers to unwrap you like a present.

Plus, the sight of you crawling around in nothing but a slutty, barely-there dress is picture-fuckin’-perfect. He’d know; he’s got a bunch of ‘em on his phone.

And crawl, you do. You haven’t been allowed to walk further than a couple of feet in a long time. There’s penance to be paid if you can’t avoid it.

Joel collects your penance whenever possible, gathering what’s owed for your sins and dealing out forgiveness when it's settled. It’s how he shows his love.

And he does love you. How could he not? Such a perfect little toy. He’s spent so much time training you right to be his prized possession.

He knew it’d happen eventually, so when you commit one of the worst offenses, he has to make it count. You were testing your limits, of course; he had expected it. He had expected it months ago. It was worse now, after you’d been so good and earned so much trust. But now that you’d been nothing but his for two months, you had finally fucked up.

Your punishments were never painful. Okay, they weren’t pain-focused. Sometimes, he had to put you over his knee to let his frustration out before he could give you a proper punishment. But the pain wasn’t the point—you both liked it too damn much. No matter how much farther he took it than a regular session, and no matter how sick you were with guilt, you were always a soaking wet mess after a beating.

This time would have to be different, though.

It was time to finally break you.

He knew as soon as he got home. Not the particulars, but that you’d made a huge mistake.

On the surface, nothing was amiss. You were knelt by the door in your pretty little dress, a short number in navy blue. You had your head down and arms folded behind your back in perfect posture.

But something was off. It didn’t feel like you were happy he was home. And he was pretty sure there would only be one reason for that.

He hung up his keys but didn’t bother to take off his shoes, coming to stand in front of you. “What’d you do?”

You flinch and have to re-tense to hold the position as a sob escapes you. Your hands are balled into fists to fight the urge to cover your face. “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t ask if you were sorry. I asked what you did.”

If it were still the early days, when this shit usually happened, he might have been just a little softer. At least until he coaxed the confession from you, anyway. But you were in too deep, now, too entangled in this life that he had little patience for your reticence.

“I—”

“I recommend you spit it out. You’ll tell me in the end, anyway.”

You start to cry. “I can’t say it.”

“You better figure it out pretty fuckin’ fast, little girl.”

“I had an orgasm,” you blurt, whimpers escalating to sobs.

He pauses. It’s worse than he thought. The rush of disappointment and anger sends his heart racing, and his fingers flex in longing for a cane.

“Did you enjoy it?” he says.

It catches you off guard. “No, I promise.”

“That’s too bad, ‘cause it’s the last one you’re gonna have for a while.”

You aren’t surprised; you’re actually relieved. Of course, of course he’ll fix you.

He finally takes his shoes off and sets his phone on the counter, beckoning you to follow him to the living room. Taking his seat on the couch, he waits until you’re settled at his feet.

“Why’d you do that, baby?”

“I-I didn’t mean to. I was edging for the last time today, and I don’t know what happened. It was just there, and I knew it, I knew it was coming, and I—” You choke on the guilt, the grief.

“You what?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t convince myself to stop. I kept thinking ‘no, you stupid cunt,’ but I couldn’t pull my hand away.”

He regards you for a moment. He’s burning inside, but trying to calculate the most effective approach.

“Thank you for telling me right away,” he says, but even though he means it, the words are cold and clipped. “Which hand?”

You look at him, eyes wide and brows furrowed. “What?”

“Which hand did you use? Give it to me.”

You lift up your right hand, and he cradles it in his.

“Listen close.” He waits until he’s sure you’re focused on him, on his words.

This is where things have fallen apart in the past. No amount of training and manipulation can get someone across this hurdle; they have to mean it. The last thing he wants is someone running to the police because they don’t fucking understand how serious he is.

“This is going to be your last chance to back out. I will stop right now and let you pack your shit and leave. But if you stay, you’re agreeing to anything I do to you past this point.”

You bite your lip, stomach churning. “You’re scaring me,” you whisper.

“Good. You should be scared. What you’ve done is one of the worst things you could have. That’s got some serious consequences, baby.”

“What’re you going to do?”

“I gotta hurt you. Bad. Y’ain’t going to like this; I can promise you that. I can’t punish your cunt because you’re such a stupid pain slut; anything short of permanent damage is gonna make you wet. And I’m not lookin’ to do permanent damage.”

Your lip trembles, heart pounding. You’ve never been so afraid, but you’re also enthralled. Lured in by the timbre of his voice and the salvation it’s promising.

He squeezes your hand where he’s still holding onto you. “I’m going to break one of your fingers.”

Your heart falters, blood rushing. “Oh god,” you whisper, shaking your head. Instinctively, you tug back on your hand, but he grasps it tight, tight enough that you feel the bones grind under his large fingers.

“It’s up to you. That’s half the price for forgiveness. The rest is gonna be spending the night alone.”

Somehow, that sounds worse. You can’t breathe.

“Gotta choose, baby. You wanna go? I’ll pay for a cab. You can walk away, but you can’t ever come back.”

You think you might be drowning. Leave? How could you leave? There’s no debate in your head; you have nothing without Joel. Nowhere to go, no one to turn to. And the idea of losing him feels catastrophic.

You’re crying again, and you’re vaguely aware of his soothing voice trying to coach you through breathing. When you focus on him, just like he’s taught you, you start to calm down.

It’s Joel, you think. He’ll take care of you. And he said he didn’t want permanent damage. You just have to suffer for your betrayal and he’ll forgive you.

“I think I might throw up,” you warn him.

He sighs, the fear of losing you flooding away, taking some of his anger with it. “We’ll do it in the bathroom.”

He stands up, and you follow, albeit slowly, as the wave of nausea rises. You do throw up as soon as you get in the bathroom, thankfully making it to the toilet. He holds your hair and rubs his hand across your shoulder blades.

“It’s okay, baby, get it out of your system. You’re being so brave for me,” he croons. He helps you up to sit on the edge of the tub and gets you a little cup of mouthwash.

“I’ll help you brush your teeth after,” he promises. “I’d do it now, but, well. You’re probably going to puke again.”

When you’re done swishing the mouthwash, when it’s all turned to foam and you’ve spit it back in the cup, he swaps you for water. You rinse and spit that, too.

He’s laid a few things out on the counter. You feel dizzy all over again. Something tells you the comfort you feel is wrong, but he’s prepared an ice pack and medical tape, and has four little ibuprofen out next to another cup of water.

The other, louder part of you is whispering, see? He’ll take care of you. The act of wondering what’s wrong with you feels like a farce. You’re thinking it because you think you should, just going through the motions.

He takes off his belt and brings it to your mouth. You clench it between your teeth, letting a shaky breath through. His hand cups your cheek, and you lean into the warmth.

“I knew you were somethin’ special,” he whispers. You’re not sure he meant to.

Your whole body is shaking uncontrollably. He watches you for a moment, worried you’re going to faint, and then sits on the floor with his back against the tub, pulling you into his lap. He lays you back against his chest, caging you in with his arms and thighs. The ice pack sits to his right, already popped and frozen. Waiting.

Gently, he lifts your hand and brings it in front of your chest, taking it in his left. It’s a macabre mockery, the way he cradles it in his palm, fingers wrapped around the sides. In his right hand, he notches his thumb on the knuckle of your middle finger, bringing the other fingers in below it.

He doesn’t drag it out, doesn’t take pleasure in your terror. When he moves, it’s faster than a gunshot. Your scream is raw, breaking free from the spaces between your teeth and the belt. The taste of leather will remind you of this moment for the rest of your life.

He has the ice pack on it before you mentally register that it’s over. You’re sobbing. Horribly, he’s right, and you are sick again. He holds your hair in one fist, holding the ice pack to your mangled hand in the other.

When you’re done, he pulls you back against him, wrapping his limbs around you in a perverse embrace as you shake harder. With his free hand, he brings a damp, cool cloth to your face, cleaning you of the viscera of your sickness.

He’s shushing you, head bent close to your ear. “It’s alright, baby, it’s over. You did so good. I’m so proud. I love you so much.”

It’s good that he doesn’t expect an answer because he doesn’t get one. You’re too lost in the pain and shock.

When it’s time to take a break from the ice, he grabs the medical tape and wraps it around your index and middle fingers. You cry out again as he jostles the break. Once he’s splinted it, he lowers your hand gently to your lap so he can grab the medicine.

“I can’t; I’ll throw up again,” you say, voice cracking.

“Don’t have a choice, baby. Gotta keep the swelling down.”

He feeds you each pill, one by one, chasing them with sips of water.

You look so sad and precious that he almost feels bad. Unfortunately, he’s also rock fucking hard, so he shifts you a little to pull his dick out.

You don’t say anything when he lifts you to lower you on it. He’s careful, trying not to shake you around too much. He was right; you didn’t enjoy this pain. You’ve never been this dry for him before, and you whimper pathetically at the pinch and sting of his girth.

You may be worn out and in agony, but your cunt doesn’t get the message. He grins when he feels you getting wet and clenching around him. He doesn’t push it though, doesn’t torment you, just fucks up into you gently until he fills you.

You’re limp against him now, and he presses a kiss into your hair. “You may have to walk for a bit,” he muses. “But I’ll cap your penance at ten.”

You wince. Ten strokes with the cane on the soles of your feet every day until your finger heals? You usually only owe enough for two or three. It is a mercy, though, so you nod and thank him.

Joel can hardly contain the way his chest is flooding with warmth. You’re so close; he can feel it. So close to being completely his to put together just the way he likes.

He can’t wait to take you to The Pit.

-kintsugi

You’re cold. So cold. You’re curled in on yourself, tucked into a corner in the hopes that you’d be able to keep warmer. Your whole right hand throbs.

Moonlight only cuts across the corner, but it’s a comfort still. The soil is loose and you keep shuddering, feeling the tickle of a dozen phantom insects.

Worst of all, your chest aches, like he may as well have hewn you open. Dry sobs work their way free every now and then, leaving your mouth tacky and your throat full of cotton.

The only rest you get is when you blessedly pass out. Every time you close your eyes voluntarily, you see the heartbroken look on his face when you begged him not to leave you there.

“I wish I didn’t have to. I wish you hadn’t broken my trust and I could keep you close, baby. But you’re never going to learn how to be good if I don’t show ya.”

Bad, I’m bad, he doesn’t want me anymore, you think to no end.

When the sun starts to rise, you’re limp, still in your corner. You barely turn your head when a shadow falls over The Pit, but your heart starts to pound when the lock clicks, and Joel raises the gate.

“Oh, baby,” he says, soft and sorrowful. “C’mere.” He reaches out a hand, and you scramble to him, letting him take your left arm in his grasp and pull you out. You move immediately to your knees, body bent forward as your knotted muscles protest. He scoots his boot out of the danger zone near your broken finger.

You keep whispering, a broken record of “Sorry, please, I’m so sorry.”

He picks you up and holds you to his chest, shushing until you fall quiet. It doesn’t take longer than a few seconds as your brain desperately clings to any scrap, any way you can be good for him.

He brushes the loose dirt from you before going inside and upstairs to the ensuite. He sets you on the little rug next to the full garden tub, and he tests the water with his fingers before peeling his clothes off.

You flex your left hand, balling it in and out of a fist. You’ve never been particularly ambidextrous and wonder how you’re going to wash him without falling in or hurting your hand.

Before he gets in, he feeds you four more little red pills. Once he’s settled, he reaches out and guides you carefully by the waist, pulling you into his lap in the warm water.

That’s all it takes for you to start crying again. He doesn’t try to quiet you; just holds you there against his chest and lets you sob.

By the time you’ve calmed, the water has cooled, but instead of getting out, he just drains a little and runs more hot water.

Joel tips your chin up gently with the knuckle of his index finger. “You ready to be my good girl again?”

You nod, lip trembling.

Joel does nothing you hadn’t asked for. The trouble for you was that you asked for too much. Gave him too much. And it was far too late to get any of it back.

He gave what he could, though. Couldn’t replace what he’d taken, so he pours himself in the cracks, puts you back together with a firm hand and loving care. Sure, his love doesn’t look like what you’re used to, but he knows you see it for what it is.

“I know, baby. You took that all so well. Don’t worry,” he pauses to kiss you, “I forgive you. My perfect little toy.”

pls be nice, I'm so nervous about this.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #dead dove do not eat #dead dove fic #dddne #tw noncon #non con #dark fic #tw abuse #seriously heed the warnings #don't like don't read #deaddovedecember2023

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smol-bby-bear · 20 days ago

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Tips for agere caregivers from an age regressor

I’ve been an age regressor for almost 8 years, and has the same caregiver for almost 5 years. My caregiver wasn’t one prior and became one to look after me, so these are so tips I came up with. Not everything will be relevant to everyone, everyone is different and had different dynamics.

🤍 Give yourself time to think about whether you want to be a caregiver. I understand some people find out their partner is an agere and wants to help, but being a caregiver isn’t for everybody. Do you have the time to be there? Do you have the drive to nurture and protect? Do you understand what an age regressor is?

🤍 Do some research. Learn about age regression, what it is and the benefits.

🤍 Talk to the age regressor. What would change between you? What are the expectations? What does being an age regressor mean to them? What would they need from a caregiver.

🤍 Boundaries, for both the caregiver and age regressor. What’s off limits? What are you happy with or what would make you uncomfortable? Are certain conversations and topics off limits while regressed? Does the age regressor always need the caregiver or do they like to have little space alone sometimes? Are forehead kisses or hugs okay?

🤍 Triggers - Discuss possible triggers so you can avoid them while they're regressed.

🤍 Amount of time regressed. Discuss how often the age regressor goes into little space, how much of that time they’d like the caregiver to be there for little space. How long do they stay regressed each time? Do they want help trying to stay regressed longer?

🤍 Little space and big space. Discuss what things stay in little space and what things stay in big space. Some age regressors may get embarrassed if you mention what they did in little space while they’re big. Some things are only for when you’re big and some for when you’re in little space. (The same way you wouldn’t discuss/do certain things with a child)

🤍 If you already have an existing relationship (Ex. partner, friend, family member), it’s important to discuss what would happen if things don’t work out with you becoming a caregiver.

🤍 NEVER sexualise their little space (regardless if you’re their romantic partner when they’re big). All age regressors do it for a reason, all age regressors deserve to keep their little space a safe space.

🤍 While the age regressor is in little space, make sure they’re in a safe environment to do so, both mentally and physically. For example, work is not appropriate for them to be in little space, so reassure them they can have little space after work. Or if they’re with family who don’t know about agere.

🤍 Maybe prepare a key word that either of you could say if you’re getting overwhelmed. By using a keyword it will make it easier for the age regressor to communicate and understand. Then when the age regressor is out of little space the issue can be discussed and resolved.

Now you know that you want to try being a caregiver, get to know them as an age regressor.

🖤 Be gentle and sensitive - A lot of age regressors use it as a coping mechanism for trauma or stress.

🖤 Be helpful - Depending on the regressors age range, they may need a lot of help. Be there to help your little one for tasks they may find difficult. Like tying their shoes, or cooking food for them, pouring them drinks etc.

🖤 Activities - Learn what your little one enjoys doing when they're small. Do they like colouring? Or watching cartoons? Learn what shows they like, foods they like to eat, drinks they like etc.

🖤 Keeping your little small - Some littles struggle with staying regressed, so learn how to keep them regressed for longer. Does baby talk make them feel tiny? or helping them do tasks? Cartoons? Toys and games?

🖤 Get to know the way the age regressor talks. Some regressors may change words for things. For example, while i’m regressed -

sleepies = sleep

kikky = cat

da = the

🖤 Some age regressors may be non-verbal.

🖤 All caregivers will make mistakes, so don't feel bad if something doesn't go well at first. You're doing an amazing job and you'll be making your little one feel so special and safe.

🖤 If you are unsure about something talk to the age regressor about it when they are out of little space to resolve it.

#safe agere #age regressor #agere little #agere #sfw age regression #sfw littlespace #age regression #agere positivity #sfw agere #agere activities #agere caregiver #agere blog #agere community #age regression activities #age regression caregiver

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cantstops1mping · 7 months ago

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Nightly Swim

໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১

⋆˚✿˖° 𐙚 ₊ ⊹ ♡

// 🖤🔪 - smut, mature //

2638 words

{ao3}

§getou x gojo x fem!reader§

[Dead dove do not eat, MDNI, non-con, major character death, female reader, bottom!reader, top!Gojo Satoru, top!Getou Suguru, kidnapping, p in v sex, oral m.reciveing, reader gets called bitch. slut. good girl. princcess. sweets, bondage, blood, gore, a lot of gore, piss, knife play, blood used as lube, no morals, necrophilla]

«As you’re walking home from a late night at the office something is after you, something is wanting you.»

Please understand that I hundred percent do NOT support rape! please forgive me…

It was midnight; you left work later than usual. You had to work extra hours today because your boss was a dick. He made you rewrite your news article more than 5 times! ‘Of course, everything needed to be to his liking’ you thought. You could hear nothing; no one was out, no one, but you. There was only dead silence in the city. Working your dead-end job with no pay, you had barely enough money to pay rent; let alone buy a car. So, you had to walk. While walking, you decided to read the news article for the week, made by your coworker.

It was a shit idea.

All the articles were about missing people; people being killed and all by the same guy. “Horrifying” that’s all you could describe the article as. You imagined yourself being taken, being brutally killed- ‘no, no, no, no, I can't think like that; nothing’s going to happen’ you thought.

…

Step, step, step…

You heard footsteps, not yours, but a second set. You quickly whipped around, seeing that there was no one there. You continued walking, thinking it was your imagination.

Step, step, step…

Again, you heard the same footsteps. Your eyes widened; you were scared now; you whipped around again, but still, nothing, just the empty street.

Step, step, step…

This time you knew someone was following you. You started running; running as fast as you could, wanting to feel safe from who was following you. You decided to hide in an alleyway hoping whoever was following you would walk past so you could be on your way home.

You walked backward into the alleyway just to be safe.

“Boo.” A calm gruff voice whispered from behind you. You felt him rapidly grab your hands and put them behind your back, tying them with rope, keeping them there. You felt him put his other arm around your waist to hold you against his body. You could feel all of his muscles; feeling his abs on your back; his muscular arms around you. he held you tightly so you wouldn’t be able to escape. You thrashed against his body hoping to escape but his grip just got tighter and tighter. You were horrified. You were about to scream, but he covered your mouth with his hand to muffle your screams. “No one's gonna be able to save you, princess, not even if you scream at the top of your lungs.” You could hear the smirk in his voice. He seemed to be waiting, waiting for someone, waiting so calmly while you were thrashing against his body and screaming into his hand with tears running down your face.

There was someone else who entered the alleyway; he was just as muscular as the first person. “So you finally decided to join us, huh?” the one holding you said. “Should've told me you got her,” the man before you replied. “Aw, the bunny is all trapped now, can't run anymore, can you?” he said in a mocking tone.

The man in front of you got something out of his pocket: a rag and a bottle of unfamiliar liquid. You started thrashing harder, trying to break free, trying to run. The man in front of you dumped most of the liquid on the rag while the man behind you tightened his grip. “Behave,” getting tired of your thrashing. The rag was smacked onto your face, and your muffled scream came to an end as you passed out.

…

“Cold…” You woke up, your body felt heavy. You looked around and saw your confines. Your naked body tied to the bed. You started your thrashing again, looking around for something to help you escape.

“Finally! You woke up!” One of them said.

Tears started streaming down your face. Remembering what happened in the alleyway, you were horrified at what they were going to do to you now. “Aw, don't cry, you're only gonna get me harder,” one said.

“You're lucky we didn’t fuck you in your sleep,” the other said.

“P-please l-let me go,” you hiccuped. “I-I won’t tell anyone, p-please let me go, I d-didn't even see your faces.” You were barely louder than a whisper.

One of them took off their masks. “Well, now you did, sweetheart,” the man had jet black hair pulled up into a bun.

“No, please, I won't tell anyone, please, let me go,” you sobbed out.

“You're really cute, ya know,” the other man said while taking off his mask. He had beautiful blue eyes and white hair, beautiful. No, you can't think that about your kidnappers.

“We don't wanna let go of such a cute and pretty thing now, do we, Getou?”

Getou was the name of the black-haired one. “We sure don't, Gojo,” Gojo was the name of the other one. “And now that you've seen our faces and know our names, we definitely can't let you go, sweets.”

“No, no, please, please, I swear I won't say anything, please let me go,” you wept. “I-I won't tell anyone, please let me go, please, I'm begging you, please.”

“Well, how do we know we can trust you?” Getou said. To that, you sobbed harder.

“Aw, look at her face, so wet, just like her pussy,” Gojo said smugly.

“You like this, don’t you? Like being kidnapped, like being splayed out naked for your kidnappers? Like thinking about how well we will rape you?” Getou said,

“Well, it's not rape if she's that wet, right?” Gojo replied

They were both so smug; it made you want to puke.

You were doing your best trying not to make a peep with all the tears running down your face. It was impossible. You wanted to curse at them and try to get free, but you felt so vulnerable; so exposed that you couldn’t move a muscle. So, you laid there tied on the bed, naked and exposed. You didn’t want them to do anything to you. You were just hoping; pleading that they let you go even like this; even in all your naked glory. You just wanted to leave.

“F-fuck,” you moaned as Gojo shoved two fingers into you, rubbing your clit gently. “Fuck, she likes it, guess it's not rape then,” Getou smirked, watching.

“Stop, stop, get away from me, please,” you choked out, trying to stop yourself from moaning.

“You're definitely a virgin, I mean, you're squeezing my fingers so tight and you can barely stop yourself from moaning.”

He pumped his fingers in and out of you at a fast pace. His thumb lightly rubbed over your clit. You could feel the shape of his hand in you. Long, rough, and thick. You absentmindedly pushed your hips towards his hand, needing more attention on your clit. He pushed your hips down then, you started to whine “Stop, please stop, I don’t like this, I don't want this, please”

You were close to cumming, but just when you were about to, he stopped all friction. You whined loudly. “Oh? I thought you didn't want this,” Getou said.

He shoved two fingers back into your pussy. “Wow, she is tight,” he said to Gojo. “Think you can take three fingers, princess?”

You shook your head violently, but he still shoved another finger in, finger-fucking you with a rapid pace.

‘Why did it feel good?’ you questioned to yourself.

Gojo came around to the top of the bed where your head was; he had his cock out, big and beautiful, standing tall against his stomach. “Open,” he said. When you didn't, he smacked you hard right across your face. When you opened your mouth, he shoved his dick in and started fucking your mouth unbelievably fast.

Getou ripped his fingers from your entrance and got his gorgeous big mushroom-tipped dick out. He tried shoving it in, but you were still tight.

“Fuck, she's too tight, need some lube,” Getou looked around the room, finding a knife and- was that a person!? The guy was still breathing but was knocked out in the corner of the room, tied up. Getou went to him and slit a line on the guy's arm. The guy woke up screaming and starting to cry.

“Shut up, will ya?” Getou said in annoyance before slowly cutting more places on his body - his thigh, his stomach, his face, his other arm, his dick, and balls, before stabbing him right in the stomach, then grabbing the dead guy by the hair and throwing him right next to you on the bed. You wanted to scream, but Gojo's big dick was choking the life out of you; you thrashed around, not wanting to be next to him, next to all the blood. Getou stabbed your thigh with the knife.

“I'm getting tired of all the thrashing you do so be a good girl and stay still.” You bit down after feeling the sharp pain in your thigh. A yelp was heard from the man who had his cock buried in your throat. You quickly stopped biting after remembering who was down your throat and continued to weep. Gojo quickly pulled out of your mouth and groaned.

“Fucking bitch, if you don’t know how to behave we will teach you, slut” he spat out still groaning in pain. Getou started laughing while the two of you were in pain, one more than the other.

With tears streaming down your face Gojo pushes himself back into your mouth. Gojo smacked you in the face “This time you better not bite me” He growled in your ear as he shoved into you.

Getou pooled some of the guy’s blood in his hand and started lubing you up with it. You couldn’t thrash around because of the knife in your thigh, but you could cry and weep, not as loudly with Gojo fucking your face as fast as he could. You felt disgusted to get someone else's blood used on you as lube, disgusting, nasty, you felt horrible.

Getou pushed into your lubed and bloodied hole as you cried. Surprisingly, he fucked you slow, not fast like Gojo.

You tried to block out the sensations, the pain, and the violation of your body. You tried to think of anything else besides the two men using you for their own pleasure. But it was impossible; the sight of the dead man next to you, the feeling of blood on your skin, the pain of the knife in your thigh, and the overwhelming fear and shame consumed you.

You felt like you were drowning in a sea of darkness, unable to escape, unable to find a way out. The tears kept streaming down your face, mixing with the blood and the sweat. You felt dirty, tainted, and broken.

Getou's slow and deliberate movements only added to the agony. Every thrust felt like a knife twisting in your gut, every touch felt like a violation of your soul. You felt like a puppet being controlled by cruel and sadistic masters, forced to endure their twisted desires.

You wanted to scream, to beg for mercy, to plead for release. But all that came out were muffled sobs and choked whimpers. You felt powerless, helpless, and utterly defeated.

You were brought back from your thoughts as Gojo pumped his seed down your throat, slowly pulling out. “Swallow.” He commanded and you did, feeling all the fight leave your body accepting that they would use you and hopefully throw you out.

Getou soon followed suit, filling you with his seed before pulling out. You felt utterly exhausted, physically and emotionally drained. The pain, the shame, the violation - it all felt like a heavy weight on your chest, suffocating you.

“FUCK,” you yelped as they moved you around like a ragdoll. They were clearly unbothered by the knife in your thigh.

“Oh my god can you shut the fuck up. You've been screaming since the moment you've got here; your gonna bust my fucking eardrums.” Getou sighed as he reached off to your thigh and grabbed the knife and started to twist it slowly.

“M’sorry, I'm sorry, please I'm so sorry!” You cried. Words spilling out of you like a mantra, begging him to stop. With that, he stopped.

You look to where Gojo was. He seemed to be aiming his dick at your thigh. You immediately knew what he was planning on doing. You weren't able to move your thigh due to the pain so with a look of horror on your face, you started to beg. Random pleas for him not to do it escaped your throat.

Slowly golden liquid poured out of his cock and onto your wound, making you scream in pain. The burning sensation was overwhelming, the pain excruciating as the acidic urine seeped into the open wound on your thigh. You thrashed and screamed in agony, unable to comprehend the sheer cruelty and sadism of your captors.

Through tear-blurred vision, you saw the sadistic smirk on Gojo's face, the satisfaction in his eyes as he watched you suffer. It was clear that they took pleasure in your pain, in your helplessness.

The room felt suffocating, the air heavy with the stench of blood, sweat, and urine. You felt nauseous, on the verge of vomiting from the sheer trauma of it all.

The two men seemed to revel in your suffering, in the power they held over you. Their laughter, their taunts, only added to your despair, to your sense of utter hopelessness.

Then, Gojo swiftly pulled the knife from your wound and thrusted his cock into the wound on your thigh, causing you to scream out in agony. The pain was unbearable, the sensation of his dick moving in and out of the wound made you want to vomit. You couldn't believe the level of cruelty and sadism these men possessed.

“Ugh, we get it now shut up,” Getou says as he shoves himself into your mouth.

You gagged and choked on his member, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to breathe. The pain and humiliation were overwhelming, the sense of violation and degradation suffocating you.

Gojo continued to thrust his cock into the wound on your thigh, each movement sending waves of agony through your body. You felt like you were being torn apart like your very soul was being ripped apart by their brutality.

The room spun and blurred around you, the sounds of their grunts and your cries echoing in your ears. You felt like you were drowning in a sea of pain and despair, unable to find a way out, unable to escape the horror of your reality.

You wanted to scream, to beg for mercy, to plead for release. But all that came out were choked sobs and desperate gasps for air. You felt like you were on the brink of madness, on the edge of oblivion, consumed by the darkness that surrounded you.

You felt everything in you die down. Slowly you closed your eyes. You went limp, you felt nothing, and the assault on your body was no longer being felt. You were no longer there.

Both Gojo and Getou came into your unresponsive body. “Shit, we killed her” Gojo laughs.

“I’ll get the trash back,” Getou groans.

…

“She was fun to play with, kinda wish she went on for longer though” Gojo smirks as he shoves your body into the trash bag.

“She was loud as fuck. I’m glad she died” Getou says as he rolls his eyes. He shoves your body into the back of his truck.

“Lake?” Getou questions.

“Yep,” Gojo says popping the ‘p’.

…

Getou gets out of the truck and grabs your bagged body. “Have fun on your nightly swim,” Getou says with a smirk, as he throws your limp body into the lake.

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averagevamptboy · 3 months ago

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new nsft blog, feel free to interact and asks are very welcome (read under the cut before). im a bi tguy sub n bottom, (can service dom?). you can probably guess what I like, pretty much what most puppy tguys here like lmao

you can call me anything / vamp , any pet names that aren’t fem are fine he/him

do not use any fem terms please! boycunt is okay though VERY sparingly. (pussy, tits, etc are not, not even with boy- prefixed)

NO to: !!!giving oral to non-tmascs!!!, cnc (!! but consensual free use is fine!) , r4pe , ageplay , faux/incest , feeder , detrans , piss , scat , fearplay , pregnancy , breeding . ty :>

yes to: puppy play , forcemasc , royalty play , intox , praise , degradation (light) , daddy / mommy play (light!) others are a maybe/idm but these r what im mainly into .

do NOT follow me if you post: genuine detrans or incest kinks thanks i don’t wanna see that in my notifs! AND NO MINORS.

anons: 🦈,😈,🐾,💋,✒️,🌼,👾,⭐️,🦴,🖤🦴,🌿,🩷,🫀,💉,✨,🦌,🖤,🦉,🧟‍♂️🐾,🐕⏳️,🪱,🦚. (anons n dms r open!) i won’t answer any that i can’t think of a response to/make me uncomfortable

#forcemasc #ftm #ftm nsft #ftm t4t #t4t #ftm sub #mlm nsft #mlw nsft #ftm switch

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astropookie · 2 years ago

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Ascendants at different degrees 🦚🦢 pt 3

hii, hope you have a beautiful day✨🧚‍♀️ i don’t have an excuse for my delay post but ty so much for all the support AAAAAAAAA😭❤️

Alexandra Levasseur

Ascendant at Gemini degree (3°, 15° or 27°)

they’re hyperactive. They have so much to say bc their mind is a work of overthinking. they have A LOT of ideas that they want to put it into words but can be difficult for them. Every type of process takes them longer or feels longer than what others will express, bc while doing it they’re thinking and thinking, it’s a cycle. Their profession could be related to “communicate” if that’s too obvious HAKDBA. but in every manner, that’s their passion, their need. making songs, advising, doesn’t matter what’s the career, the meaning or the need is present. their purpose is to put those ideas into words and those meanings the words own, reach out to more people. As I said in another post, I have a friend that has Gemini degree at his ascendant and breaths music, but I haven’t mentioned other people Ik that doesn’t represent the conventional example: she is a psychologist, she attracts people when she talks and her charisma. But it’s obvious how they struggle to communicate or it’s not easy to make themselves understood. That’s why they prefer to analyze others or to speak up through a non conventional way. I’ve seen that since ever they have difficulties with educational system, they’re too bored and intelligent -hyperactive- to adapt. what others say and how they process it is interesting…

Ascendant at Libra degree (7° or 19°)

their face is symmetrical. they’re pretty good at giving advice, comes naturally to them. they look “put together”, that they have their things to do, their schedule. they’re not direct -with my friend that have libra degree at their ascendant, I have to ask them specific questions with the objective of reading their mind. For example, I ask if they like my outfit and they’re making rare expressions and saying “YeS” with a rare tone, so I ask them “you don’t like it?” and they don’t say something clear-. I have to interpretate more than listening to a clear answer. Taking care of their appearance it’s essential, if they don’t like it, they’ll change -appearance matters-. You’ll see them owning a lot of makeup products but they look or use a “natural” look/makeup -if they use it-. They don’t try to be too “unique” or attract attention in a way that could be seen as unconventional/rare, they follow tendencies that could be seen as basic but for them it’s more than enough. growing up they could have cared too much about what others think. They could have lived or are still living without questioning themselves what are they doing with their lives, not realizing they’re part of a system and that they’re an individual. in other words, they could have had ignored how they were living, they were “vibing” but have never stopped and asked themselves “what am I doing?”. And if they had, they conformed themselves bc they didn’t want a change, to be “accepted”.

Ascendant at Aquarius degree (11° or 23°)

they’re THE bitch. they know their worth. their passion or what calls their heart is to be someone in the society we live, to make a change. people will prejudge and have a wrong idea of them: they’re loners, they’re mean and they only think about themselves, they’re egoists. only bc they don’t try to be as everyone, only bc they’re not people pleasers and they’re true to themselves, doesn’t mean they’re egoists. In reality, all their thoughts end up on the same final: to help the fcking humanity. it sounds cliche, it’s too cringe for them to admit it ⛓️🖤 since their childhood, they have been exposed to information that showed problematics in the world. they process information logically bc their surroundings taught them to, suppressing their emotions. they search for solutions logically, they could suffer for explaining what are their needs without judging themselves. they could be bad at advising bc they’re struggling to even comfort themselves. trough all their life, they have doubts or not an stable self-esteem: god complex. ik its impossible to not mention this phrase for an Aquarius placement: they have had and have difficulties feeling part of a community, to not feel lonely -not alone bc it refers to be “physical by yourself”-. They could be feeling really lonely but they sabotage themselves remaining they don’t have to feel, like a robot. they’re complimented by their style💋 unique

Ascendant at Sagittarius degree (9° or 21°)

they’re chill, they take things as they come -or that’s how they appear-. they’re calm but calm that can take a joke that’s supposed to be offensive and they’re sarcastic about it. it’s like they’re mosquitos around and they have repellent -the best example 🤩-. STILL they’re pretty sensitive. I think they try to be as calm as they seem to not worry their mother/parental figure with all the struggles they’ve had. They tried to be their sunshine: they are but as time passes they converted these behavior on a mask, hiding how they feel really. They vibe. surprisingly, they’re not chaotic or histrionic, it’s like they’re good, like “meh” good BUT sure they have their moments. change my mind, they’re or “calm you should be afraid of it” or they don’t give a shit but in a “dog that needs to be taken for a walk way to waste that energy” -as a sag placement i recognize and reaffirm 🤓☝️ i need to be taken for a walk like the bitch I am, that’s an horrible jk god-. They remind me of a taurus ascendant but they actually don seek comfort and if they do, their whole life is about going out of their comfort zone bc of their drive of wanting to know more. they actually know, even though they’re not scorpios, they know shit and let things happen naturally. in other words, they have acknowledged that if they tell people what’s happening it’s not gonna hit them as how it’ll if they live it. and they’re loyal, they’ll tell their friends or loved ones but they won’t control the situation. their life is about experiencing things instead on basing themselves on other experiences, they want to know and the diversity of perspectives is a whole galaxy to explore for them. again, it’s not about professions, it’s about their passion. people would judge and say “they’re players and blabla” could be right but that’s not the point, they experience to grow and they’re not afraid of not being perfect -and if they’re they try and they’re brave-.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer, I just love astrology and I’m willing to learn.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astro posts #astro notes #astro placements #ascendant #ascendants at different degrees #Gemini degree #sag degree #aquarius degree #libra degree #rising

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shalscumbunny · 1 year ago

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I NEED AN NSFW VERSION OF THE LOVELY HUSBAND SHAL please and ty (Thank you for existing btw we need more shal fics and im too lazy to make some)

TYSM FOR SUCH A CUTE WORDS 💝! I was eager to publish this! It is necessary to give love to Shalnark from his most tender and loving side to that twisted and sick side that we love so much.

Lovely Husband NSFW | Shalnark

Wedding night?

🖤 I feel like Shalnark is a fan of fairy tales, so if he didn't get the urge before marriage, he will now (Although the truth is I find it very unlikely that it will hold up if you are not a virgin either, if you are a virgin it will hold up because it will be THE BIG MOMENT, but this will be the decision of the two of you 🫶🏻)

🖤 As soon as you are declared husband and wife and other technicalities during the day, HE WILL REALLY FUCK YOU, and I mean SERIOUSLY

🖤 Shalnark is a simple man, everything about you turns him on and the fact that you are now his wife multiplies him 10000%

🖤 Before it was a “My pretty Y/N is so hot” now it's a “My darling wife is so hot”

🖤 He can't help it, on the wedding night he's just going to throw you into bed and he's not going to care about tearing the dress even if it cost a million, he loves you now

🖤 He loves you and is desperate for you, he can only shower you with kisses on all sides of your face and explore your mouth hungrily while he finishes tearing your dress.

🖤 It's just that ✨You are perfect with the wedding hairstyle now undone and your body naked under him✨

🖤 He can't contain himself, he simply wants to adore, contemplate and love you, he can't help but latch onto your chest and caress your clitoris while he watches you moan and tremble with complete devotion because you are simply a deity that he has to worship

🖤 He loves you, he loves you deeply, he is obsessed with your moans when he goes down between your legs and he becomes addicted to the taste of your pussy (I'm going to add as a bonus that if you wear long stockings he will get harder while he eats your pussy), he's literally rubbing his hard, painful erection against the bed mattress while moaning into your folds.

🖤 He can only tell you how much he adores you, how precious, perfect and sublime you are and he won't stop until you have cum a couple of times in his mouth, becoming addicted to your juices.

🖤 Once satisfied in that aspect, he simply needs to be inside you (If you are a virgin, he will take his time, he wants everything perfect for you, he wants to take care of you, protect you and make you feel good, but since I am too lazy to write, we will imagine that Y/N is not a virgin).

🖤 Shalnark simply fulfilled one of his life goals when he started fucking you hard against the bed, panting like an animal in your ear, gripping your hips tightly and enjoying how you bite his shoulder and scratch his back.

🖤 This time for the occasion he won't play little games (Which he undoubtedly likes) At least on the wedding night he will fuck you until you are stupid, crying and overstimulated, with your pussy sore and overflowing with abundant semen.

🖤 Simply… Perfect

LIFE TOGETHER

🖤 (The truth is that I feel that Shalnark is not someone who gets married without first having lived together, so I will assume it that way) So we will say that everything remains "the same between you" and by the same I mean Shalnark loving you intensely and obsessed with you

🖤 Obviously life with Shalnark isn't all about sex, we already have a “non-NSFW” version of this ✨ so…

🖤 Shalnark is just like a hot teenager, out of nowhere he'll get hot

🖤 He's simply watching you cook, thinking about how beautiful and sexy you are, he can't help but approach you and ask you to go to the bedroom, while he kisses your neck and rubs against you.

🖤 Shalnark is not the kind of man who would get bored of his wife, every day he will find a reason to love you or a part of your body that for some reason is more than perfect (He LOVES your body, he will love it forever)

🖤HE NEEDS to touch you, he can't help but glue you to a wall and kiss you passionately while he raises your thighs to his hips and looks at you with deep adoration and desire.

🖤 For Shalnark, he applies that he won't stop fucking you until your pussy is the shape of his cock, and you really fit perfectly, your bodies are made for each other ✨

🖤 The sex ranges from complete adoration, or just him calling you pet names and enforcing his dominance over you in the cruelest and sexiest way possible.

🖤 He can simply try his best to give you as much pleasure as possible or keep you kneeling on the floor and sucking his hard cock while he smiles at you and plays with the control of the vibrator stuck in your pussy and making you a stupid slut

🖤 Just Shalnark pounding inside you as he whispers how bad you have it, how perfect your pussy receives and squeezes his cock and how he's going to leave you dripping cum for days.

🖤 Of course we also know that he is an obsessive controller, so you are going to have to get used to having cameras in the house and in all parts of the house (Even the bathroom) because Shalnark HAS TO know what you are doing.

🖤 Obviously the cameras are for security (He is a highly wanted criminal and has to make sure that no one does anything to you) but… it is not a white dove

🖤 If he went on a trip with Gen'ei Ryodan he's going to miss you, (Think of this poor 24 year old muscular baby who is 180 cm tall and has a criminal list longer than Santa Claus's gift list 😔), who will simply step away from his criminal friends for a while to masturbate while he sees you taking a bath live, milking his balls that are filled with thick cum when he sees your beautiful figure on the screen covered in water.

🖤 He likes you to know that he is watching you, no matter how good a husband he is... HE LOVES HAVING CONTROL OVER YOU (Little things about manipulators ✨)

🖤 You are taking a bath and you see how a red light turns on in the camera, you know that he is watching you, you have gotten used to a point where it even excites you and you can't help but turn to the camera and start caressing your clitoris with a finger and pinching your nipple with the other hand while looking at the camera, it counts as a kind of challenge to him, you know that it will cost you a hard fuck time as soon as he gets home but you simply can't help it because you imagine him hiding in a small space, pulling his cock, smearing the cell phone screen with his semen while he pants and grunts your name (Which has really been happening).

🖤 We already talked about it in the non-NSFW version, but he LOVES dressing you and one of his favorite parts is choosing your lingerie (Shalnark loves his wife dressed in pastel pink and this is not up for discussion) He loves putting you in the most feminine and revealing lingerie he can find, tight and barely covering what is necessary, when he is shopping he can't help but imagine your embarrassed face when you try on that lingerie that barely covers your nipples and leaves your areolas visible.

🖤 He loves to put necklaces on you, especially those pompous pink ones with a medallion, that medallion says “She belongs to Shalnark”

🖤 If you are not kidnapped, you probably have a cell phone (Which is obviously tapped) Shalnark knows who you are talking to, what you are talking about, what applications you use, what web pages you visit (It is his controlling nature, how can you blame him 🥺)

🖤 As his possession and wife, he has to know everything about you and he does, your family, your friends, your enemies, your blood type, any health problems, exact measurements of your body and above all, your weak points.

🖤 He knows the speed with which you like your clitoris to be caressed, how much to suck on your nipples so they don't hurt, the rhythm that makes you stupid when he starts pushing his cock inside you, what part of your ear to lick and nibble to melt you, he seriously knows EVERYTHING.

🖤 Speaking of possessiveness, now that you are his wife (And if you are not kidnapped) he will not think too much about decorating your neck and/or other part of your body with hickeys that show that he is your only owner when you go out, if he sees that the mark is disappearing will make you another.

🖤 Although if you are kidnapped he will do it anyway, he likes to see your body adorned with small bruises and bite wounds (His favorite part is the sides of your neck, shoulders and your breasts, especially the areola).

🖤 You are his, if he sees another man with his eye on you, he won't mind kissing you in public and touching you inappropriately in order to demonstrate the obvious (If he bothered you a lot and you reproached him, he will think twice before coming back To do it)

🖤Although it is a canonical fact that that man's hours are numbered (Because for Shalnark it is like killing a fly)

🖤 Lastly, Shalnark is not a selfish lover, he will always try to make sex something that you also enjoy, since as his wife it is the least you deserve.

Thanks for reading this horrible shit 🖤✨

NO NSFW VERSION, would u like another character?

#yandere hxh #male yandere #yandere #hxh smut #shalnarkryusei #shalnark x you #yandere shalnark x reader #yandere male #hxh shalnark #shalnark #shalnark ryusei #yandere shalnark #shalnark x reader #shalnark smut #hxh x reader #hxh #hunter x hunter #hunter x reader

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signedkoko · 1 year ago

Note

hi !! 👋🏽 noticed requests were open , hope it’s okay i pop this in .

vox w a reader who likes having soft / quiet moments with him ? after long day of work and dealing with the other vee’s , sometimes just having downtime with ur lover is nice !!

:3 that is all !! ty for ur time , and take care ! 🌀

Vox X Reader [Comfort]

In which the two of you unwind from your own nightmarish days apart. Reader is genderneutral.

He always saw himself as living an overstimulating and non-stop lifestyle

Thus, he figured his partner would be the same, and he never really questioned what that kind of life would do to him

But you were not the person he expected at all; you were everything beyond his expectations

Even though he offered you everything, you always had the mindset of doing things on your own and only accepting his help when you needed it

You complimented him, listened intently to his ramblings about his new ideas, and showed up to every new release he had to cheer him on

How you'd ended up down here, he was unsure, because you were nothing short of an angel

Your sweetness didn't protect you from his jokes and teasing, though, which he'd constantly use to see you flustered

He jokes a lot to ignore bringing up what bothers him at work; he much prefers to see you smile and laugh than worry about how cruel his partners can be

If it's ever been a really rough day, especially one in which Valentino throws a fit and he has to fix his childish mess, he just wants to rest

Vox comes home, and the moment he locks the door behind him, the mask he puts on dissolves

He lifts you into his arms despite any protests, and he drags you to bed

It's hard for him to ask for personal things without making a whole song and dance to get around being sappy, so he likes that you just accept him laying down with him as permission to comfort him

You clean up his monitor for him, hold his hand, and trace all the separations in the metal until he's barely conscious

He'll start mumbling about his day, barely comprehendable but giving you enough pieces to make up the full story

Anytime you put your hand on his, he instinctively holds onto it, usually gliding his thumb over your palm in soothing motions

But he won't sleep until you have, and then he'll get you both comfortable, turn out all the lights, and make sure you have a glass of water next to bed for when you wake up

Rests holding you so your hea dis burie dinto his chest

Author's Note - Welcome to the blog, galaxy anon! Thank you for requesting, I always love writing Vox 🖤 Please enjoy!

#koko writez #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #hazbin hotel x reader #helluva boss x reader #reader insert #x reader #koko talkz #vox #vox x reader

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vaguesxrrow · 8 months ago

Note

Hello! Love your Edwin works!! Anyways, can I request a Edwin x alive!reader or ghost but they appear to be aloof 24/7 but has a soft spot for him, like it’s a complete opposite personality of them. For example they get flustered when they’re near him or being teased by him etc. It could be HCs or in fic form. Thanks in advance! -🖤

HELLOO loved this req ty sm, here u go xx

edwin / reader - soft spot

a/n: tried my best to not make reader seem mean, just detached but still kind

tags: gender neutral reader, alive reader, aloof reader

- you meet everyone when you move in to jenny's butcher shop

- really, you chose the place because jenny herself seemed about as non-invasive and private as you were - you just wished she'd warned you about her two (four, counting the dead ones) other tenants

- first, you met niko and crystal as they were exiting niko's room, both sipping tea from pink cups

- they were nice and all, but your responses were terse as they tried to break the ice

- niko asked you where you were from, you gave the vague response of "not far from here", and she then started talking about japan before remembering a detail she thought crystal would like

- you took that opportunity to slip into your room and lock the door behind you

- later, crystal and niko would tell edwin and charles about their new neighbour:

- crystal: they seemed... aloof. didn't seem very interested in small talk.

- edwin, of course, found this a bit suspicious and had to investigate

- what he didn't anticipate was you being able to see him as he walked through your wall while you were unpacking

- you startled when he stuck his head in through your wallpaper

- "i'm sorry, are you lost?" you exclaimed. "in what world is it acceptable to just- oh."

- your voice kind of gave way at the end as edwin fully stepped inside, an excuse already on his lips

- your first impression was god, he was cute

- of course, you already knew about ghosts from your near death experience; besides, it was hard not to notice them, as they seemed to walk through things very often without thinking. so you weren't fazed.

- in fact, you were the opposite - you smiled at him and asked his name after introducing yourself, still a bit breathless

- edwin was such a pretty name, you thought

- "so, uh... is this apartment building one of your usual haunts?" you cringed at the pun

- the corners of his mouth quirked upwards, but only briefly. you wondered how he would look laughing

- edwin, on his part, was also rather taken by you

- edwin: i must say, i find myself rather charmed by your unexpected friendliness

- you were nothing like the description crystal and niko had given him, and he would tell you so

- for the first time in your life, you would feel warmth rise to your cheeks

- "same.. i mean, it's nice to have a neighbour as cute as you-" you cut yourself off, even more embarrassed

- imagine edwin cocking his head to the side, eyebrow raised but otherwise silent, which just makes you ramble more to make it less awkward

- "it's just nice to have neighbours in general, and uh, i should really start organising so it isn't such a mess the next time you're over..."

- your rambling benefits you in the end, because edwin excuses himself with the promise he'll definitely be over again - this time arranged in advance

- did you just score yourself a date? who knows.

- as he leaves, he would definitely call you "interesting" and tell you he looks forward to talking in the future

- when he returns to his friends, he would tell them that you seemed completely pleasant and maybe even a bit alluring

- charles would definitely check him over for any signs of a hex, but it becomes apparent to all of them that he really just has a crush on you

- after you meet charles, too, he would definitely tell edwin, "everyone likes me eventually, but when is eventually going to happen with [name]?"

- edwin: they seem perfectly amiable to me. very thoughtful, too

- charles is stunned, because your first meeting consisted of you just staring at him as he explained he was best friends with edwin, leaving him with a "that's nice," and a pointed look as you left

- ofc there are many more moments where crystal, charles, and niko look at you around edwin and think, "what the fuck?"

- eg: after a few months of you living there, and after you've become accustomed to the town, edwin asks for your help on a case as it happens to be related to a library you frequent

- he approaches you together with crystal, niko, and charles

- you agree to helping with a small smile, touched that he trusts you enough

- when you traipse to the library, edwin teasingly asks, "so, is this one of your usual haunts?"

- you choke at the reminder of your tactless first attempt at flirting

- charles, niko, and crystal are a bit speechless at your reaction, to which you half glare at them and say "it's nothing."

- overall, though, everyone thinks it's cute that you're so flustered by edwin. at first, they're really just cheering for edwin to find a healthy relationship, but eventually everyone sees how good you two are for each other

- and you are - edwin sees how, despite your disinterested demeanor, you are a kind person and care about him a lot, your affection going beyond him being the only one to actually make you laugh

- he loves you just as much, by the way, and would be the first to vouch for your character as well as the first to greet you, with a hug and a cheek kiss

#edwin paine/reader #dead boy detectives #dead boy detectives x reader #dead boy detectives headcanons #edwin paine x reader #edwin payne x reader #edwin payne #edwin paine

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galeorderbride · 8 months ago

Note

Hiii!!

I discovered your account recently, and I'm a fan! This strengthens my love for Gale even more! I have a request, is it possible to use the following prompts :

3)Touching foreheads

7) Kissing scars

11)Sharing secrets

41)Washing each other hairs

52)Crying into their shoulder

60) sitting in their lap

i will probably ask for others prompt later ahah!

thanks you so much 🖤

Thank you for the request!! I’m stoked to know I’ve helped strengthen your love for everyone’s favourite rizzard lol. And send as many prompts as you like!

Your prompt awaits:

Rated: M (Gale and Tav sharing a bath, non descriptive nudity).

Gale x F!tav

Words: 1652

...

Wash my Troubles Away

Baths were always the way Tav chose to unwind after a stressful day. Before the nautiloid, and after, although she’d been seriously lacking in access. In all honesty, she was surprised it took this long for her to break down. Months on the road, toiling through endless swaths of blood, shit and tears with the onus on them to solve everyone’s problems. At first, Tav enjoyed helping, seeing new friends suffer a little bit less in such a difficult society. Once they reached Rivington, however, her patience ran drier than a dead fountain.

Thankfully, they found the Elfsong, where a private bathroom awaited. As soon as the fee was paid, Tav thought about taking a bath—craved it. A space to calm her muscles and cry out her troubles without drawing attention.

Hot water flowed against her naked back, bubbling with lavender oil and sudsy soap, emanating the scent of vanilla and oat. Tav tucked her legs to her chest, curling into a ball of frustration and embarrassment as she couldn’t stop crying. Tav needed more resilience than this. Facing the end of the world required stalwart bravery, and she was having a meltdown over finding gold for a bank manager. How in the hells was she supposed to take down a giant brain?

Meanwhile, everyone else had no problem being selfish. A toy maker set explosives in his own products, totally willing to kill children to save his own skin. Idiots tying up Volo just because he was talking about the things they wanted to ignore. Ironhand gnomes masking abusive bigotry with a shining cause. Tav was tired of everyone’s bullshit, making excuses for themselves, taking zero responsibility when she had no other option but to face problems head on.

Her self pity was interrupted by a knock at the bathroom door. The sound of a lilted, erudite voice coming through the wood:

“Mind if I come in, love?”

Gale appeared in the doorway after Tav agreed he could enter. Holding fresh towels and a wicker basket of different bath products, looking brand new as if he’d just returned from an apothecary. Tav splashed water in her face to mask the puffiness of her eyes, as if her detail oriented wizard would ever let a thing like that get past him.

“You seem like you could use some company. And so far, I’ve been very skilled and…calming you down, so to speak. I fetched some products from Bonecloak’s, all your favourite scents. Jasmine, pomegranate, aloe vera. If you’d prefer to be alone, know you won’t offend me. I just wanted to give you these so you know someone is thinking about you,” he said.

Tav turned her head, grinning as best she could, easier because of his presence. Since their romance had begun, he was the only one virtually incapable of annoying her. He always knew what to say, always understood the right words or actions to keep her grounded. No one had been such a positive force in her life, and every morning, no matter how terrible, she thanked the stars for finding that unstable portal.

“I’m not enviable company at the moment, but yours, would surely heal my weary heart,” Tav replied.

Gale smiled, “No matter how you’re feeling, there is no one in the realms I’d rather spend my time with.”

Times like this were when Tav didn’t believe she deserved his sweetness. Doting on her out of an adoration she couldn’t figure out. He placed the bottles on a tiny stool beside the tub, undressing so he could join her in a warm, sudsy water, snapping his fingers with a little magic to heat it back to ideal temperature. He made use of the large, circular space as he sunk in behind her, enveloping her in a comforting embrace as she rested her back onto his chest. Little hairs tickled her skin, causing her to chuckle for the first time all day.

Careful movements of his fingertips massaging her scalp sent shivers down Tav’s spine. Scents of pomegranate and jasmine soothed her sinuses, letting the hot water pour down her head, through strands of clean hair. Tension from her muscles seemed to dissolve with each considerate touch, Gale’s hands created to caress her skin. When he finished, he wrapped his arms around her, rocking her back and forth as they both watched the window ahead. A clear night gifted them glimmering stars, a cool breeze whistling out of a crack in the insulation. Tav leaned back, resting her head in the crux of Gale’s shoulder as she closed her eyes. A few, stray tears fell from her eyes, overwhelmed by the sudden comfort of her magical lover lifting her through the ache of evening.

Gale didn’t press her for reasons, didn’t rush to solve the problem when he noticed her tears. He just held her, waited in solidarity until she was ready, happy to let her sink into his life force to refresh her own.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said with a tearful chuckle, “You must think I’m ridiculous. Crying for no reason like this.”

“Well, my love, your mind may be telling you that there is no reason, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. With all our travels, all the weight on your shoulders, you have every reason to cry. You’re more resilient than you think, I’d have crumbled long ago,” he said.

Tav looked up at him, in utter admiration for his thoughtfulness, his beauty, everything. If she could, she’d sing his praises for a thousand years, to make up for all the times Mystra never did. Or anyone else who didn’t care to see the magnificence of him.

Her fingers traced up his collarbone, around the mark the orb left that paved a path to his wonderful neck. A forced tattoo sunk into the surface of his skin, binding him to his well intentioned folly. Their foreheads touched as Gale lowered his head, wishing desperately that he could hold every

part of her at the same time. Mage hands and mirror images weren’t enough, it had to be him.

“Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone before?” He asked, words hanging on between their breaths, lips hovering over each other but never quite meeting.

“Hmm, you’ve already told me about Mystra. And that you haven't spoken to anyone in over a year until me. Oh, and that you get excited when you see me bloody after a fight. What else could there possibly be?” She asked, flirtatiously smiling at him with her eyelids batting just the way he liked. The smirk he made when he saw it was irresistible.

Gale chuckled, “This one is far less serious, but might be what you need to hear in this moment.”

They adjusted slightly, Gale sitting up as he pulled his arm out of the water. Just above his elbow was a superficial scar, raised tissue blending in with the rest of his skin. An uneven line travelling up his arm, about three inches long. Wherever he got it from, it had to be years ago.

“People don’t notice this scar much anymore, not with the giant black circle on my chest. But people used to. I’d tell them it was from a kitchen knife,” he said, “But…really I accidentally set fire to my neighbour’s rose bushes when I was a child. I was trying to conjure, and the fire got away from me. Singed my arm in the process.”

Tav turned, scooching further onto his lap as she examined his arm. She couldn’t help but laugh, “That’s your secret? Ruining a bush?”

“Not just any bush. A rose bush. One of the most beautiful I’d ever seen. I’d pass by those roses every day, stare at them for a minute or two. Just to see something be so effortlessly perfect in its imperfection. They simply grew that way, and then I destroyed them. All I could do was cry, sob over how I tarnished something so innocent and pretty for my own sake. I don’t talk about it because…well, it’s silly, but it’s the worst thing I’ve ever felt. It’s stayed with me my entire life, and the burn scar only serves as a beacon for it,” he explained.

“Even worse than what happened with Mystra?” She asked, grazing her fingertips across the uneven line of the scar. Eyes stuck to the mark as if it was the last thing she’d ever see.

Gale hesitated, taking a heart wrenching pause. Tav noticed his eyes staring ahead, fixated on the window. A heavy, unsaid energy hung over him.

“It was the catalyst. For everything. Had I not set fire to that bush, Elminster never would’ve found me. And then I’d never have attracted Mystra’s attention. A boring existence…but maybe a better one,” he said, voice trailing along the waves of his melancholic thoughts.

Instead of responding, giving him a treatise on how he didn’t need to feel guilty anymore and burning a flower bush wasn’t a definer of his total character, she pressed her lips against the burn scar. Counting her kisses for every year of remorse he felt since setting that fire ball. Ever since their first night together, he slowly began to shed that overconfident veneer, more comfortable to show her the parts of him that hurt, the deep cuts that both of them wished they could bury.

“Seems we both have a guilt problem,” Tav said. “Come here.”

Tav moved to straddle his lap, taking the ceramic bowl and filling it with the warm, soapy water. Gale rested on her shoulder, as if on impulse, while she poured the liquid down the long strands of chestnut hair. Running her shampooed hands across his scalp, satisfied every time she heard his happy moans against the scratch of her nails. After rinsing, she kissed the top of his head.

“Thank you for telling me a secret,” she said, “I’ll tell you one of mine tomorrow.”

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #bg3 fanfic #bg3 fanfiction #baldurs gate 3 #gale fanfic #gale x tav #gale bg3 #gale x f!tav #bg3 gale romance #gale romance #wizard of waterdeep #gale dekarios fluff #gale of waterdeep fanfic #bg3 prompts #bg3 fic

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slvtforfiction · 1 year ago

Text

Truth or drink (pt.2!)

☆ Colby X reader ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ Suggestive (No smut) ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ A like,reblog and comment is always appreciated:) ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ Cw: alcohol obvs (idc what u say tequila rose is banging,fight me)

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I’ve lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)

Masterlist | Pinned Post | Part 1

Colby 🖤:

Hey doll,you wanna do drink or truth again? Like a part 2 but just us?

You:

Yeah sure,am I gonna get embarrassed again?

Colby 🖤:

Welp we both are so does it matterrr?

You:

Oh god tell me some of the questions then 🤦‍♀️

Colby 🖤:

Maybe some about kinks and maybe something about some other stuff :)

You:

Yay I’m so excited this is going to make me want to really do more videos with you!

Colby 🖤:

Laying on the sarcasm pretty thick

You:

If your asking if I care,I don’t :)

Colby 🖤:

Love you’re always sarcastic,I’ll see you down here in 10 hm?

You:

Okay,omw x

Colby 🖤:

Good girl,see you soon x

I blushed leaving him on read as I changed my top to a red and black crop top he had gotten me and some black ripped jeans that I got on a shopping trip with him along with some fishnets below them to spice it up.

I walked upstairs to his apartment which was right above mine and knocked his door waiting patiently for an answer.

He quickly answered and I saw the living room already set up with a tripod,camera,2 shot glasses,tequila rose for me and Smirnoff vodka for him.

“Oo my favourite!” I smiled as I realised he had remembered my favourite alcoholic drink.

“Yeah ofcourse.” He said smiling clearly knowing i would say yes to the video idea by the already prepared drinks.

He finished the intro and grabbed his phone reading out the first question, “Why do you not talk to the last person you “did the dirty” with?” And I looked at him,looked at the shot glass and poured myself a shot downing it immediately.

“I still speak to the person I last slept with so,” I shrugged,not wanting to actually admit on camera that Colby and me were dating and therefore he was my last.

“Same but I don’t think they want to be public so I’m drinking.” He said before taking a shot and smiling at me.

I always seemed to find comfort in his smile no matter what he was smiling at or who he was smiling at,although I thought it was a much better feeling when he was smiling at me.

“What is your favourite activity with your significant other?” He asked as he looked at me softly,his gaze mesmerising.

“I like just laying on the sofa with them and cuddling,it’s the little things you know what I mean?” I smiled back as he looked at the camera clapping his hands together.

“I don’t really know I think just their presence in anything I do is really special to me,I just like everything I do with them.” He said smiling softly and I smiled,blush running to my cheeks.

I knew after this video I was ready,ready to go on twitter and scream and rave about him being my boyfriend as long as Colby didn’t mind.

“Name 2 non-vanilla kinks you have.” He said smiling at me before he saw me pick up my drink,watching his smirk fall of his face.

“You know what? If you answer I’ll answer.” I said laughing putting my drink down. “Oh god Uhm okay.” He said laughing nervously clearly not expecting that.

“Can we say ones we said in the last truth or drink video?” I asked and he shook his head. “Nah that’s boring and also you can’t anyways because you said vanilla kinks.” He said smiling at me.

“Okay you say yours then and I’ll say mine I guess.” I said laughing nervously and he looked me dead in the eyes before leaning back on the sofa and putting his hands behind his head,kissing his teeth.

“Okay um,I’m nervous now.” He said laughing before kissing his teeth again and answering “okay um I like tying up my partner and I mean if a girls gonna call me daddy she’s gonna call me daddy.” He said and I giggled to myself.

“I didn’t actually think you would answer.” I whined not wanting to answer. “Well come on you have to answer now.” He said laughing at my embarrassment and im sure by now he had figured out my humiliation kink although I wouldn’t have said that anyways.

“Okay uh I have a size kink and I really like hickeys and stuff so I guess marking?” I laughed nervously as I realised my boyfriend was the one sat next to me probably making mental notes to himself.

Colby cracked up laughing as he clapped his hands together trying to make sure I knew that he was going to use this against me and honestly I was definitely wanting him to tie me up after this video.

We soon moved on and after about an hour of filming we got to our last question, “What’s one thing you dislike about me?” He asked and I shuffled closer to him to whisper in his ear.

“That you haven’t tied me up underneath you yet.” I then turned round and grabbed my drink,pouring myself another shot,at this point I had had about 10 shots,so what’s another one?

I downed my drink and he quickly downed his before ending the video.

“Don’t say shit like that to me whilst filming.” He said,I smiled and turned around from the fridge after grabbing myself a bottle of water.

“Hm I’ll think about it.” I said and he continued to walk up to me,cornering his hands around my waist against the counter top.

“Do you want to be tied up like a little slut?” He asked “Is that what you want hm?” And I smiled at him whilst he remained silent and faking his anger.

“Maybe it is..daddy.” I whispered in his ear before kissing down his neck,he picked me up by the waist and carried me upstairs.

“Wanna cuddle up on the sofa,beautiful?” He asked softly raking his hand through my hair as I laid my head on chest.

“No,wanna stay here.” I mumbled half asleep and fully naked still lying on his chest.

He had his boxers on and got up quickly leaving me on the bed barely able to move.

“Come back Colbs.” I whispered and he smiled, “I will im just going to get you a shirt,okay?” He asked and I smiled sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

“Can we be public? Like us?” I asked quietly scared to even suggest it “Yeah sure,I’d like that.” He smiled looking back at me.

“I’ll post it on twitter tomorrow morning if you still want to yeah?” He asked and I whispered an ‘okay’.

His lights remained off,his LEDS being the source of red light throughout the room and I smiled bashfully again as he lifted up an arm and then another putting me in his xplr shirt.

The room still smelt of sex and my wrists still had marks which Colby would religiously kiss for the next few days.

“Love you Colbs.” I said before falling asleep with an arm wrapped around me and another still taking through my hair.

“I love you too sweetheart.” I heard him whisper before dozing off.

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cheegu3 · 2 years ago

Note

Yandere prince Sunwoo who is like in love with you but you love someone else (a commoner who works at your palace or something) but Sunwoo just wants you to himself. He can be mean or something. I love your work a lot btw!!

ty for requesting prince sunwoo 🛐🛐 & thank you sm c: 🖤🖤🖤

Sunwoo - the heartbreaker

warnings; yandere themes, sunwoo is a mean asshole n a misogynist, conservative views, sexual themes, prostitution ?, slutshaming, mentions of non-con, objectification, arranged marriages, family problems, a little angst / tragic love, reader is a badass feminist wc; 2.9k pairing; princess, f.m!reader x prince!sunwoo featuring; juyeon & jacob (tbz), lily (nmixx)

note; I hope this wasn't too far from what you had in mind, Sunwoo never says it but it's implied he fell in love at first sight and thought abt her that whole week

You felt your mother's familiar hand on your lower back, urging you to go forward. The longer you resisted the harder she'd push, until you'd lose your step and drew the attention of the royal family.

Today was no different. Another prince and royal family you had to bow deeply to. Someone you didn't know, but heard the ladies gossip about on the way in. Someone your parents wished you'd marry so your own kingdom wouldn't perish. Someone you'd most likely hate but hadn't even met.

The ladies whispers were particularly bad today. Usually they would contain nonsense, gossip that was very trivial like ' he was born out of wedlock ' or ' he isn't the real heir to the throne ' nothing you cared about, because it didn't have an impact on his character.

But when you were meeting prince Sunwoo of Gija, they whispered something else - ' I've heard the prince has many different lovers ', ' he treats women like decorations, ones he can use as he pleases for his own satisfaction '

And the closer you got to him, the more the line in front of you with the ladies cut down; the more you heard about the infamous prince. He'd earned a nickname, the heartbreaker.

You wished your lover was there to see the way the prince coyly looked the princesses and daughters of lords' forms up and down, his eyes dripping with lust, while he barely listened to a word their fathers or mothers would say to him.

You imagined being with your favourite person instead of being forced to be at another dreadful place; at your favourite spot, under the chestnut trees just outside your own palace, in the garden you both loved so much.

His name was Juyeon, and he was everything Sunwoo was not, except for a prince of course. That one thing meant that he would never be approved by your family, no matter how perfect and gentleman-like he was.

But you could pretend that he'd be the one you'd marry and grow old with during those short moments you shared in the garden, laughing you troubles away until reality kicked in. Until your guards went to fetch you, mumbling discreetly about another prince you had to meet - and you knew, despite seeing the strong front he put on, that Juyeon broke a little more any time you went to look for your future husband, knowing deep down that it could never be him.

The moment prince Sunwoo's eyes landed on someone attractive, his sweet luring words would come out so smoothly, at the right time and to the right person. The young, naive girls would swoon over the handsome man, agreeing to meet up late at night like he'd asked. Then he'd sleep with them; seducing with the promise of a wedding, before ultimately never speaking to them again.

And you refused to bow to immoral men.

Your friend Lily, a lady of your castle, tugged on your sleeve as the room fell uncomfortably silent. The murmur from the mothers who were fixing up the daughters they were looking to marry away stopped, and everyone's heads were fixated on the lady who was glaring openly with disdain at the charismatic prince.

'' Y/n, if you don't bow you'll catch his attention, which is the one thing you don't want to do! '' your friend pleaded in your ear.

You shook both her and your mother's begging off, instead stepping as close to the platform he was sitting on as you could, even taking one more bold step than the other ladies had dared to.

His lips immediately curved into a smirk when you did so, knowing that you weren't doing so out of interest, no - you were challenging him.

'' Who is this rude girl? How dare she treat my son with such disrespect! ''

You turned, breaking the intense stare-match with the prince to glare at her too.

'' Maybe if you hadn't raised such an arrogant and vile womanizer, he wouldn't deserve all the disrespect I can give him. I can't even bare to look at him for one more second, your son disgusts me! '' you spat out, with so much genuine distaste that the ladies gasped in horror, quickly parting when you turned around to leave with your mother and friend hot on your heel.

'' Y/n! How could you do that? ''

'' Your majesty, please...you know how she is. ''

You ignored them both, striding towards the carriage and slamming it shut before your mother could talk to you. Hopefully your friend would've calmed her down before she'd finally enter on the other side.

The voices being drowned out by the carriage lent you some relief. You sighed and leaned against the door. As the adrenaline slowly dissolved, it was replaced with worry.

Had you gone too far? Who knows what his family might do if they were to seek revenge. They were far richer than your own family, and more affiliated politically too. That was the whole reason they wanted you to marry at all, because you didn't have any brothers who could take the throne. Your country's resources were quickly running out, famine, poverty and sickness had increased which was why your parents were in such a hurry to find you a husband, fit to be a king.

Your people would hate you if you brought unnecessary conflict to them due to your temper that often got the best of you. But a part of you also refused to lower your head if that happened, nothing was more important than your morals.

'' Y/n? ''

'' Yeah. You can come in. ''

The door cracked open slowly and your mother and Lily squeezed inside, you shift uncomfortably in your spot as your knees touched each other.

'' Have I caused trouble? ''

Silence fell in the carriage, they both seemed hesitant to answer.

'' Perhaps. We don't know yet. I suspect we'll be chased down by their royal mailmen. Her majesty will at the very least want an apology to the prince. ''

You gave a sorry look to your mother.

'' I couldn't help myself. ''

She didn't answer. Lily's hand grasped yours and she looked at you sympathetically. The rest of the ride carried on in silence but you could feel the tension the whole time.

When you arrived, a guard hurried over to open the door, extending a hand to help you down. It was your favourite guard, Jacob who was a sweetheart and friends with Juyeon. He'd always help you sneak out of the castle to meet your lover, without any objections or scoldings.

'' Welcome back, your highness. ''

You gave him a small smile and he mirrored it playfully.

'' Any mail? '' your mother cut in.

Jacob's expression immediately changed, and there was an instant drop in the mood all around again.

'' Well...yes, your majesty. ''

Everyone held their breaths as he brought out an envelope from inside his jacket. You could already tell who it was from by the wax stamp and the imprint on the back.

'' It's from the royal family Kim of Guija. ''

You heard your mother's deep sigh from your side.

'' And? What do they say? ''

Lily came closer to you, resting her head on your shoulder while holding your waist. But you couldn't even give her a grateful smile, your eyes were fixated on Jacob while his eyes scanned over the letter's contents, feeling breathless the longer the silence stretched on.

'' They seem to want an apology. Eh- '' he scratched the back of his neck uneasily. '' They insult your highness and claim that she has humiliated the entire royal family and ruined their reputation. Calling it a rebellious and childish stunt. ''

'' What do they want then? An apology by letter? ''

You all knew the answer, and it wouldn't be one you liked.

'' No, your majesty. They demand an apology in person. ''

*******

A week of rest hadn't done anything to soothe your nerves, as well as the lingering anger. You knew that when you meet eyes with him again, you'd probably explode. But this time it was crucial to your family's reputation that you kept any personal opinions to yourself.

That's why they let Juyeon come with you. Despite your family trying to keep you two away, they didn't hesitate to use him to keep you in check when they needed it.

A simple apology was all they requested anyway. After that you'd be free to go home and you'd never see his arrogant face for the rest of your life.

Your clenched fists started shaking by the mere thought of just that, the prince's face. Juyeon chuckled softly and laid his hand on top of your closed one.

His kind eyes calmed you down again. When you relaxed and released your fists, he smoothly put his hand in yours to stop you from clenching it again.

'' You'll do just fine. ''

Your heart warmed at your favourite sound in the world - his voice. Any time you'd had a bad day and you heard it, you could melt into a puddle. In contrast to everyone else in your life, he was so sweet, calm and easy; he never raised his voice at you, even if he was angry.

You laid your head on his shoulder and looked up at him with dreamy eyes. He knew what you were feeling, you didn't have to say it. Not that you could anyway with your mom and Lily in the carriage, but your gazes exchanged the same words anyway.

'' Thank you for being here. '' you mumbled, not wanting them to hear.

'' Thank you for letting me. ''

The carriage came to a stop just outside the palace of the Kim family. Your mother had warned you that they'd likely try to put the whole thing on a spectacle, to show that their family still had respect; inviting half the town since you had insulted the precious prince in front of them.

The silhouette of a man neared the carriage and everyone inside seemed to be on guard when the door was opened. You came face to face with a young, tall and handsome guard who without a word, stepped aside to let you come out.

'' Welcome, your majesty and her highness. Please, follow me inside. '' he said very curtly after some time when you'd all stepped outside.

He started walking without looking back which you supposed was out of privacy, but it gave a false sense of politeness - the other guards stood surrounded behind the carriage, in case you got any stupid ideas.

The four of you followed him despite that, there was nothing you could do anyway.

He opened the large doors in the front and you were suddenly greeted by hundreds of faces that had turned towards the direction of the screeching sound of the door opening.

It was a cathedral, the same one you had met the prince in last time. You dreaded raising your head and having to walk down the aisle to look up at his smug face sitting on his throne again; although this time it was undeniably worse since you had to apologise, and bow at his feet for the mercy of the Kim family.

Lily's leaned in to whisper.

'' He's waiting for you. Just get it done and then we can go home. ''

You turned your head and whined but she just shook her head with a small smile and gave you a gentle push forward. With a sigh you obeyed and started the long walk down the aisle.

Everyone's eyes were on you, watching your every move or facial expression and analysing your appearance. You heard judgemental comments when passing by one of the back-rows. But what could you do except bite your tongue and move forward?

Your pride kept you from looking up. Even as you finally reached the very front, your eyes were trained to the floor below.

'' Y/n? ''

Your head snapped up now as you recognised the shrill voice of his mother, the queen. She looked at you with dissatisfaction and scornfulness, not even bothering to hide it.

'' Apologise to the prince. ''

You licked your lips and took a deep breath, feeling your anger start to rise to the surface.

And at last, your eyes landed on him.

Prince Sunwoo, who was sitting leaned back on his overly embellished throne, one you didn't think he deserved to sit in but you had to hold back that insult to restore your family's honour.

'' I'm sorry for my behaviour- '' your jaw clenched as you pressed out, '' Sir. ''

Silence filled the cathedral just after you heard him try to suppress a laugh. Everyone was on their edge, waiting for either the queen or the prince himself to say something - Would he accept or refuse?

'' Accepted. ''

You were stunned at his monotone answer, very much expecting him to drag it out to humiliate you. Although you didn't know much about him, that's what people like him would do for fun right? A predator naturally wanting to toy with its prey.

'' You'll give him an apology in private too. '' the queen filled in, causing you to look at her questioningly.

They seemed to be in a great deal of hurry, presumably because they'd continue the search for a bride for the prince; you didn't get the chance to say anything to your mom or look back at your friend. The guards heaved you up on your feet and lead you away immediately to some back door.

'' Where are you taking me? ''

They didn't answer. You were taken outside and up cobblestone-stairs that lead to the palace, Sunwoo following closely behind. It was much bigger than yours, just further shoving the fact that you had to be on their good side in your face.

Well inside, they took you up the grand stairs that were right inside the entrance. Not much time was given for you to look around, it was almost like they didn't want you to. About a minute later of walking very hastily down yet another corridor, they at last opened a door at the end of the wing and shoved you in.

As soon as you heard the door close behind, a bad feeling settled in your stomach. It was hard to pinpoint the reason - was it simply paranoia, intuition or was it just uncomfortableness with being alone with a man?

Well, technically you weren't alone. Two guards were stationed outside. Just enough space to give you privacy, but not too far away if you'd try something on their precious prince.

Said person, walked past you and stopped right by the window.

'' As you know, I've been looking for a woman to marry lately. ''

Sunwoo's voice caught your attention.

'' But I haven't had much success. ''

He smirked when he turned back and saw that you were watching him, seemingly hanging on to every word that came out of his devilish lips.

'' Are you not scared of me? '' his head tilted as a curious look shot to his eyes that could only mean something bad.

Did he feel offended?

'' No. '' you confidently answered, despite the chill that ran down your spine.

He neared you, causing you to back away until your back hit the door. The guards on the other side stirred at the sound, thinking they'd have to intervene.

'' You should be. ''

Your gaze shifted away from the prince, trying to look at anything but him. But he came even closer, to the point you could feel the fabric of his clothes touch your bare arms and smell the scent of his cologne.

When he started leaning down, his hand raising with it; you flinched away but was left with your mouth hanging open in surprise when the sound of the door locking sounded in the room instead.

You stared at him.

'' Why did you lock it? ''

'' Haven't you heard the rumours? '' Sunwoo rested his hand against the door, almost caging you in and looked down at you. '' About what happens to the women that come into my bedchambers? ''

You swallowed the bile that rose up.

'' Your mother gave you to me. ''

'' What? ''

'' You're mine now, the wedding is next wee- ''

He rolled his eyes when you turned around and tried to unlock the door in panic. Too easily his hand caught your wrist in the act and with one quick thrust, you stumbled across the room, landing on the bed.

You already knew he was creeping up behind you.

'' Do I need to tie you up? ''

You pressed your lips together, refusing to answer him, while your mind was working overtime to try and think of a way to escape. But while sitting there on the bed and thinking, you came back to what he had said - your mom gave you away?

Your heart felt like it was slowly suffocating. You thought she had loved you, she was your mother after all. So how could she do this? After everything you had said about him, she chose him of all people?

'' I asked you a question. ''

A sudden hand came from behind and grabbed your jaw harshly, making you gasp.

'' No. '' you mumbled.

Sunwoo sat down on the bed, next to you so you could see him.

'' We should prepare for the wedding, don't you think? ''

Tears welled up in your eyes. You knew what was coming next by his leering gaze. Confirming your suspicions, he crept closer and the hand from before finally landed on your face, caressing it like that of a man who was madly in love.

You prepared for it. Maybe if you gave in for that one thing, he'd leave you alone for a bit - giving you enough time to think of a plan again.

But then he caught you by surprise again, chuckling deeply at you jumping as his breath tickled your neck.

He whispered sickeningly sweet, '' By killing your lover first. ''

#kpop yandere #yandere kpop #yandere sunwoo #yandere the boyz #yandere tbz

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