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[tranquilpetrichor]

the friendship problem

synopsis: in which you have company during morning break, and it is strangely tolerable.

cast: jiung (p1harmony) x gn!reader

genre: strangers to friends, high school!au

wc: 1.1k (1,117)

warnings: discussions of loneliness, reader is implied to show some symptoms of social anxiety, barely proofread

notes: looking back at my high school experience (and reflecting on my growth throughout school in general) thus far makes me oddly nostalgic. this one's definitely self-indulgent. here's to the people who didn't ask me why i was so quiet, who accepted my idiosyncrasies and admittedly, brought out a friendlier side in me.

(also peep that word count i wasn't gonna post this originally but i must, i count 1117 as a small ateez reference.)

erasing the inappropriate drawings from the side whiteboard, you began to write a problem from your calculus textbook.

“integral of w squared times sin of 10 w…” you said out loud to yourself.

you could have gone outside, as it was time for break, but you found your math teacher’s classroom to be more comforting. natural light gently shone through the windows, the air freshener emitted a scent of pine, and best of all, there were no crowds to be found.

you had tried to get over your discomfort around large crowds and navigate to the cafeteria to buy a snack, but found that it was quite the pain in the ass to squeeze between couples who walked as slow as tortoises and boys who elbowed people everywhere they went.

through those wonderful experiences, you learned that the epicenter of your high school’s social life overwhelmed you the hard way.

shaking intrusive thoughts from your mind, you began to visualize solutions to this calculus problem. after a minute or two of writing, you had the answer.

“let’s go!” you cheered, knowing no one else would hear it, but finding it funny nonetheless.

suddenly, you heard a voice and turned around to see a classmate you vaguely recognized from classes you shared. jiung, that was his name.

“don’t mind me,” he said, “just looking for a place to read.”

your shoulders tensed up a little, but you nodded, resuming your work on another problem.

normally, you would expect an noticeable and uncomfortable silence, but jiung seemed to be just as at peace with the quiet as you were. that was more than you could say for a lot of people, who felt as if they had to fill silence with words that seemed rather meaningless.

curiously, you glanced at him reading. the book was an alternate history fiction novel by haruki murakami, titled 1Q84. you've read it before, of course.

"uh, enjoying your book so far?" you asked him, cursing under your breath afterwards when you got the low battery notification on your laptop.

"well," he paused briefly, "murakami's descriptions tend to be long-winded and i find some of the scenes a bit odd, but it's interesting for me. have you read it before?"

"yeah, i have. i had fun trying to make sense of all the symbolism, but i admit that 1Q84 can be a tough read for some."

you tried not to show it, but your eyes sparkled with excitement.

"since you've read it, it'd be nice to talk to someone about the book once i'm done." he smiled. "wait, your name is y/n, right? i've seen you in some of my classes."

you set the whiteboard marker down. “yep. and i know your name is jiung.”

he stared at the board in front of him, now filled from the not-quite-top to the bottom with math problems. "you wrote a lot in such a short amount of time. do you find math easy?"

you shrugged. "let's just say it's relaxing for me."

he did ask an interesting question. to be fair, you hadn't always liked math as much as you did now, being a highly stubborn child who was averse to doing their homework back then.

however, a natural curiosity to learn new concepts coupled with a preference for being alone gave you the time to sit down and ponder random topics, developing a special love for math due to its basis in objectivity.

in general, your teachers loved the fact that you asked questions and stayed during morning breaks and after class sometimes—their classrooms felt like a second home.

so yeah, you discovered that you liked doing math, and it was better than being around people who deliberately excluded you, or trying to participate in conversations where you knew you wouldn't get a word in.

better to be alone than to feel lonely, right?

(yeah, just keep telling yourself that.)

he stood up to stretch. "that's cool, i definitely admire that. you don't hear people call math relaxing often."

"to each their own. i just think it's important for someone to have something they enjoy, and who gives a shit what it is if it doesn't hurt anyone?"

you probably shouldn't have added the last part, as it came out more defensive than you anticipated. however, jiung didn't seem surprised. his eyes were kind and welcoming.

"i think it's a good rule to go by. there'd be way less conflict in the world if people minded their own business. oh, speaking of that, i hope i didn't bother you by coming in."

to your surprise, you didn't mind. "of course not, it is a teacher's classroom anyways, not mine, so obviously people have the right to come in, although most don't. and i mean, i do prefer it to be quiet while working. but your presence isn't bad or anything."

you twirled the whiteboard marker around in your hands. “quite the opposite, really. i actually liked talking to you.”

“do you not like talking to others?” he joked, probably noticing the emphasis you put on “liked.”

“i figure i either scare people away or they’re not the kind of person i want to be friends with anyways. also, not gonna lie, socializing is hard.”

for better or for worse, you knew what people thought about you—this was a fairly small school, after all. it was easier to just isolate than to worry about who was judging you.

"nothing wrong with incompatibility," he said with a small smile and a shrug. "it just means there's people out there who are better suited for you anyways."

you hadn't thought about your situation like that, but that was probably a wise way to put it.

"that... actually makes sense."

where was this dude lurking? it would have been nice to get to know him earlier, you thought. although it might be too early to tell, you had put him tentatively under a category of "people that were better suited for you."

jiung glanced at his phone for a quick second. "break's ending soon, so i have to head to my history class, but i enjoyed talking to you!”

he headed toward the door, but as he was about to leave, he turned back, as if he was forgetting something. "hey, mind if i get your kakaotalk information? let's chat again sometime."

you entered in your number, voice a little shaky. "i'd love to chat. and if you ever need to find me, i'll be here, like i always am."

"well then, i'll see you around!"

he walked to his next class, leaving you to ponder if it really was so difficult to make friends after all.

[acaiasahi]

ty for the tag, veena! @nyangified 🌱

rules: little you vs. big you. [ picrew / safe link! ]

little jaydi was and is still crazy LOL. we also share the same haircut and i guess that's a clear sign that some things don't change. i like to think that little jaydi is proud of big jaydi. big jaydi gets to share their gender in any way they deem fit, they began writing again and they're almost at 900 followers, they even work at the hot topic they grew up in! good job, jaydi. <3

[ tagging. ] @i-luvsang @tranquilpetrichor @h4chi @astrozuya + anyone who'd like to join, no pressure xoxo!

[sunoo-bby]

Tagged by Jaydi @acaiasahi ty !!

[ rules. ] post your six current favorite songs.

Tagging : @mokiverse - @renjuunsz - @seung-scrittore - @binniebutter - @beomsun - @hypesahi and anyone else <3

[acaiasahi]

HAPPY NEW YEAR, JAYDI!!!

it feels so surreal now that it's 2023 finally 😭 but i wish you great health, love and success this year. tq for interacting w me in 2022 and your blog being one of the cures to my boredom 🥹🫶🏻 i rlly hope to see your blog grow more, ly!! <33

- 🌱

my favorite anon, happiest new years to you/your loved ones! i'm so glad to have you as my first anon, it's an absolute honor that you seek refuge to my account when you're bored, that's the slayest compliment ever!!! also, idk when it happened but we actually hit 800+ followers so thank you for being apart of my awesome lil (not rly lil) family!!! <3

ty for always talking to me and updating me on your life, it's so nice to hear abt it :< i wish you a great rest of your school year, wish you the best for your sports, and i hope none of your other pcs have the same fate and poor junkyu 😭 rip kyu pc... u were loved my many LOLLLL <333

[acaiasahi]

jaydi hi hii :) hru? (ur theme is literally so cute omg?! heart eyes fr <3)

hey luka :) ty for liking my theme, i'm not finished w it yet tho haha i'm not doing the best but i'm trying bc i got stuff to do lolz yedam and mashi are leaving trsr like two of the most talented members are leaving, it rly sucks bro :/ sorry for being a debby downer :<

[acaiasahi]

congrats on 700 jaydi omg !! + i hope ur day/night goes great sjfhsj pls take care of urself okay? <33

thank u my sweet luka!! <3 i actually knocked out for like three hours and finally woke up feeling decent so ty for ur kind words!! <333 keep urself healthy!!! (gyu is so mf cute omfg!!!)

[acaiasahi]

hi jaydi, just saw your vent fic about your dog.. i cant speak for it ofc but i hope you know you and your dog did not deserve being lied to.. even if your dog is from what you think greater hands im pretty sure it'll still remember you and truly misses you aswell! and despite all of that im manifesting happiness and for you to cross paths with that little buddy again 💖

this is too sweet. i really appreciate it, and i do miss him a lot. his new owner has been updating us since yesterday and when she pulled out a pair of socks we bought him a long time ago, he got super happy but didn't want them on lolol, he misses us a lot tho from what she said, but he's warming up to her! he slept on her bed like a champ and i'm sooo proud of him! :< i miss him a lot though, i wish he was on my bed :/ hopefully we get to see him soon </3 ty for your kindness and sweet intentions, i wish and manifest nothing but love, you're words are deeply appreciated. thank you, thank you, thank you. 333 444

[acaiasahi]

chains, outfit shipping! 🍓

rules ; find a few pictures of your style of clothing, then tag people to ship you with a kpop idol based on your style and then do the same

━ jaydi's notes! ୨✩୧ ۫ 📓𓈒 ⭒ ݁ . my style usually consists of either small top big bottoms, or big top big bottoms LOL i usually dress in a lot of earth, or deep tones like navy blue, etc. i usually wear my porta pros with literally ANY of my outfits, it's sick atp. i also have bright electric blue hair so... yk... my hair's my accessory too!!! :3

shipping ; @ravenori your color palette is such a sweet pastel mix and it goes with your personality so much and i def ship you with junghwanie!!! even down to the accessories, it's just too perfect for it not be hwan <3 ty for the tag eek!!! (i don't think anyone else tagged me in this so it's just u for rn lia TT)

tagging ; @h4chi @hikunn @hikunbot @kyufilms @sseastar-main @yedammi @i-luvsang @beepjeongie @seung-scrittore @existnesia @sunoo-bby + anyone who'd like to join! :3