#ty for the advice ! i came to this realisation that like. she may just be...rly hot and i may not like her personality so much a few days

[faaun]

sorry if this is oversharing but here's my two cents ! i dated someone for 3 years who never put in the effort, never was the first to call, left me on read, never texted me first etc. It makes you MISERABLE. and i always had this idea of if i just said the right words they would change. if I told them enough times that i was unhappy and wanted more effort from them, they would start treating me right. they would always say they would do better, and then did the same.

there's no magic word combination. some people are just built like that forever, no matter how much u plead. it really makes u feel worthless after a while. unfortunately she sounds just the same. after we broke up i realised i only tolerated all that shit because i found them SO SO SO physically attractive. and it made me feel so good about myself...like look at me i can pull this absolute hottie...and i realised i was in love with that feeling more than i was in love w them or their personality.

i hope this is even a little bit helpful ! best wishes !!

hi !!! that sounds really horrible i'm sorry you went through that! i'm so glad you're out of that relationship now though, i hope ur doing ok now !! (long answer so i'll put it under cut)

yh i def understand ! whenever i was in a relationship w smn who was inconsistent in replying etc etc even for a temporary period i felt absolutely miserable i can't imagine what it's like to go through that for 3 whole years...the situation w my crush however i think is a bit different bc we've gone on very few dates (3) and we're not even in a relationship yet, and also maybe in the past i would plead or look for the right combination of words, but fortunately i'm at a stage in my life where i'm ok w just. accepting it def won't work out and i'm moving on

u are right though i think a big aspect of why i'm entertaining this even to such an unserious capacity rn is bc of how she looks 😭 but ...idk how to say this without sounding rly arrogant but she also pulled...me? like i think i only tend to date ppl i find very hot and also i don't feel too bad abt losing her despite her appearance bc like...yh i feel lucky i pulled her but also it was the other way around too yk. she's the one who asked me out at the start 🤷‍♀️ (i say this but catch me weeping over lost potential in a few weeks) but also ur right as it stands rn its like . the ratio of how attracted i am to her looks:personality is wayyy off and if it doesn't change, i just won't see myself in a relationship w her