#two: holy fuck poor david what the fuck. oh my god. but also david honey... did you not realize that it was about zoey until you performed?

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

hi hello was anyone going to tell me that tomorrow’s zep episode features an original love song that aiden wrote for zoey and he performs in front of all her friends and family, or was i just supposed to find this out by watching the incredibly awkward scene myself??!

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? 😏 Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww 💜 you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

[harristanning]

Halloween Special Live-Blog

Episode: S3E13 “Arrival of the Torso Takers”

I love Halloween, I love specials, I love Halloween specials! Let’s do this!

Spoilers ahoy!

yo that secret knock was easy as SHIT, max!

GET HER THE JUICEBOX

NIKKI, HONEY, NO!

‘Dark Reflections’? So like, Black Mirror?

SAY IT, NEIL!

wait how did David get there? does he know its there? huh?

oH MY GOD THERE ARE DRAWINGS!! ON THE WALLS!! THERE ARE DRAWINGS ON THE WALLS GUYS THERE ARE--

‘YOU’RE NOT BRITISH’

hahaha, what the fuck¿¿¿??

HEY. DAVID IS TOO MUCH OF A SCAREDY CAT TO WATCH THAT. HANG ON

OR WAS HE?

“GOOD MORNING CAMPERS :D i’m sorry if that sounded harsh” david i love you with every fibre of my being

EIUGHERIUHGIEURHGUERIHGEUGEIUWHGURHGHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAOHHHMYGOOODDD

tag yourself im Space Kid

wait i think this is the first time David has like. Publicly called them out.

oh big same gwen!!

is it just me or is David. Not blinking.

AWW BABY BOY...

Real talk, I’m glad they kept the exaggerated facial expressions from the final!! Those were some of my favourite parts

Not gonna lie I forgot who John Cena is. I’m happy Nikki knows alien priorities.

ok gingerbread aside, lets take a minute to lay down, and try not to cry over the fact Max was worried about Space Kid.

BABY!

VILIN! VILON! BOLON! VIOLIN SCREECH!! VIOLIN SCREECH WITH STRETCHY BODY!!! IT’S HIM! IT’S THE BLOND TWINK!

wait why does David have Bonquisha’s shirt. the ‘No Gag Reflex’ one.

David you are nothing short of an angel, and I would die for you, if you would only let me do so

either im looking too much into this or David wears contacts. If it is Daniel, though, kudos to him for keeping the act indoors.

let me hold him and let him know it will be okay

my acne is cured

WHERE ARE THEY

also please acknowledge Harrison! they bonded last episode. come ON.

rest in fucking pieces, Preston

"Max, do you...hate me?”

no offence but this is one of the most stressful things i have seen all week

i was wrong. i was wrong. oh my god. oh my god.

uh oh

OH NO!

OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OHHHHH NOOOO!!!

I KNOW I CALLED IT BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS MOSTLY WISHFUL THINKING OH MY GOD

hearing Daniel’s voice...come out of David’s body....scary. yo more kudos to daniel for doing David’s voice perfectly holy fuck

holy SHIT that whole thing? with the lightning??? stupidly cool.

I’m upset that a ten year old isn’t as scared as I am right now.

poor Daniel. He can never eat cheese.

Zeemuug can shove my favourite fork up his non-existent ass

if you lay a single finger on him I will kill you myself.

David you perfect soul, why is WiFi your biggest concern right now?

watch Daniel stans justify him by saying some shit like “oh but he let MAX choose his death!” or something i swear to god

Max knows how to get people to monologue, huh?

YES! I WAS READY FOR ANOTHER SONG!

MAX! OH MY GOD! NICE JOB!

MAX SAVED DAVID...IM SO...THANKFUL...

“I’m only gonna cry about that remark for two hours later!” David, you wonderful relatable little butterfly

it kind of sounds like Miles’ throat burnt out on that scream and that, frankly, is hilarious.

put him down, or i will put YOU down, Daniel.

he...saved Max...im fuck crying....he didnt hesitate...

OOOH NO ITS THE CLONE THING

REST IN FUCKING PIECES, YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE WHITE MAGGOT

don’t jinx it, David.

HOLY SHIT H--how the FUCK did the platypus get there?? also, YES more cool lightning stuff!

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s02e03 The Perfect Storm review

Episode 03 – The Perfect Strom

Hey guys. So last episode was seriously problematic for me, because, to me, young children (if raised properly) are these magical little creatures that are made of flesh yet are so moldable like clay, and you should be as respectful to them as you are to yourself, and perhaps even more? So pedophiles really get under my skin.

This episode’s name is seriously disturbing to me, cuz – hello? Storm? – but then again, I like sitting in my bed, listening to the rain patter on the roof or windows, and watching my favorite show, sipping on tea that I bought at David’s Tea in San Francisco. I’m actually doing it right now, except that there is no rain, which is a shame. But then again, we’re in Israel, so it’s gonna take a while for the rain to come.

Anyway, back to the show. Let’s see what happens.

Jacksonville, Florida. Lady, why are you smoking? They’re bad for you, those cigarettes.

Wait what? Their daughter is doing a trip, and she sent a DVD? That sounds really ominous.

Oh boy.

Fuck.

Shit!

And they just said the dad has a heart condition. And he died? Fuck!

Five abductions and two DVDs? And still nothing? Only calling in the BAU now? I’m with Derek on this, super suspicious.

Dear lord, this is sickening.

Wait. They are actually doing this for entertainment? Fuck.

Mark Twain: “Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one who inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.” Wow. Holy shit, this man was a fucking genius! So true! We definitely cultivated some monsters!

Jesus fucking Christ, that is absolutely sick. The poor woman.

God, this is heart-wrenching. She’s lost her daughter, after her husband had died in front of her. Fuck. That poor lady.

Shit! That girl looks absolutely distorted! Oh my god.

Fuck. They took the necklace. Shit.

Ultimate degradation. Sickening.

What? There are more? Shit.

Can I say something? Matthew Gray Gubler wearing glasses is HOT.

Shit. They just abducted another girl. Fuck.

So they have to explain everything in the heat? My babies. Come to Israel and you’ll find out what it’s like.

God. So they showed various forms of dominating and submissive personalities coming together to form terrorizing duos, including how it manifested in children, and it’s so hard to watch. Fuck.

Then the mother of the girl who was abducted, Tiffany, went on air to try and find her daughter, the only problem is that this type of behavior is what fuels the abductors’ abusive behavior. Oh my god.

Oh poor Penelope, you innocent angel.

“Am I okay? Let me see. I’ve got images of a girl being tortured, burned, inside my brain over the strains of this once-carefree choice of music. I’ve isolated four sources from one track, and each one is more distorted than the next, so no, I am not okay, and it’s gonna take a while.” “Penelope, you know I appreciate you doing this.” Yeah you better, Derek, cuz that is one sick thing to ask baby girl to do.

“Thank you, sugar. For right now, even that doesn’t feel good. Moving on.” Oh honey, I love you, and I am so sympathetic, because doing this (writing this review) is one of the harder things I’ve had to do in a while.

Fuck. They just get cars, burn the parts and move one over state lines? Shit. They are good. And that’s not a good thing to say about two sickos who rape, torture and murder.

Didn’t they just say they didn’t want this in the press? What the fuck is going on?

Is this the jackhole? Please tell me it isn’t.

His daddy is in a wheelchair and he’s torturing women? Oh dear lord.

Whoa! Joey! Come on!

Oh my god. They just had to kill him in front of his daddy. Oh my god. The poor thing. I’m talking about the father, of course. Oh my lord and tailor.

So Joe was the submissive part of the equation. God. They still have to find the sick dominatrixd.

“This better be hella good.” And wham! That’s actually Jason Gideon on the line and you need to get your shit together or you’re fired, oh my god I love you Penelope you are exactly what the doctor ordered in this sick episode.

Tony Canardo. You are going down.

You know, I could get used to Gideon praising Garcia. She’s good. And it’s about fucking time he started appreciating her. I love this show. And I love the character development they are giving me in this season. And we’re only three episodes in. Bravo!

Wow. This guy is seriously a bastard. He just heard the guy he fired was shot to death, and he’s like, fine, whatever, he wasn’t good at his job and I got another one to take his place. Seriously? So what if he’s an ex-con? You’re an ex-con, you fucking turd. He also looks dreadful. I know, I know, never judge a book by its cover, but the prologue isn’t that enticing, either.

T-Bone? Really? So any guy in America who runs with crowds that give nicknames, whose name starts with the letter T is automatically T-Bone? Oh god.

Wait. This Tony was married? To Meg from Supernatural? Oh shit. Okay, can I just say? If she’s involved, this is gonna be good. I wanna see where this is going. I know she’s an actress, but come on.

So she’s blaming Joey for being a bad influence? I thought it was the other way around? That’s so weird.

“The boy needs a refresher course in anger management.” Oooh, Garcia, you are seriously on point!

Mr. Stinky! I love you, Penelope!

“And you know if there is one loose thread, I will find it, I will pull it, and his story will completely unravel. A tout a l’heure.” I love this woman so much. She is amazing.

Whoa! What the fuck happened to her? She went to see Tony? What the fuck? Didn’t they just instruct her not to? She is stupid as fuck.

Fuck! He gave her a ring that belonged to a dead chick? To one of the girls they tortured? Fuck!

Oh! Sneaky Derek! Yummy as fuck! I love you, Shemar. I do.

Oh hell no! He did not just strike my baby boy from behind! Oh hell no! You are going down you fucking white turd, you are going to be punished!

Get him! Yeah!

Only time I’m pro violence. When Morgan is kicking ass in defense.

Shit! They taped her boobs to her chest? Damn! Unless she’s seriously flat-chested, that’s gonna hurt as hell. Shit.

Wait what? He’s gonna try and goad him into confessing by praising him? Damn.

Wait. What? He’s gonna use the wife as bait? Damn.

Wait. She was defensive of him in the beginning, then all of a sudden he’s a monster? Oh my god. That is seriously not good.

How is she all of a sudden calm when she’s demanding things of him? What the fuck is going on here? And all of a sudden he’s talking? Something isn’t right here.

So she wasn’t there? Tony lied? What’s going on here?

Nope. She’s not scared, baby. If she was afraid, she wouldn’t even look at him.

Oh my god. It’s her. She’s the dominant. She’s ordering him. Fuck.

And they just let her go? What? Oh she went out for a smoke? Alone? Just find an agent who smokes and get him to go with her. That’s bullshit.

Especially after Garcia managed to isolate that Amber is the one who told them how to execute the torturing.

No time for pleasantries, Garcia? Damn!

Oh shit, Amber claimed she was raped. Her mother came in to the hospital and said she was lying. Oh my god. That poor girl. And she turned psycho.

I called it.

Her brother and father raped her? Shit.

Damn. That was a fucking alligator! Shit! I hate those damn reptile dinosaurs. Shit.

Fuck! She’s actually torturing her now!

Shit!

Get her!

Get her!

Yeah? They totally got her.

Of course Derek won’t ever hurt that girl. He’s the best angel ever.

Yes! They saved her!

I love you, Penelope. I fucking love you. That’s right. Get it all out. Erase every fucking tape of torture. I love you. You’re the best.

Khalil Gibran: “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars.” True, but why should they be scarred in the first place? Why the fuck should people be cruel to begin with?

 So this episode was brutally hard. I can’t believe I was right in my assessment that that lady who played Meg on Supernatural was going to turn out to be the dominant one, I honestly was bluffing.

I really hate these cases, and I know it’s gonna escalate in the cases’ severity, but come on! Give me a little humor now and again, please? Pretty please?

Let’s hope the next one is lighter, cuz this one just fucking depressed me. Even Penelope would need to watch Disney after this one!