#two serious professional oboists. and ME

[supercantaloupe]

it just struck me that tomorrow in my lesson i'll be rehearsing the trio with two like. legit professional oboists. people who Make Their Living playing in major orchestras

[so-i-did-this-thing]

hi. i have two questions. firstly, is awesome to see you're a professional oboeist- i also play the oboe (and flute.) my teacher is the former first oboe and cor anglais from the lso (it's him on star wars!) and i wanted to ask what your favourite piece to play is.

secondly, i am a young trans person, and i came out to my mother (it's just us) when i was 11. she thought it was a phase then, and still does now i think, despite a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, a serious related eating disorder, depression and attempts at my life. i'm just turning 16 in a month, which means i might be able to start considering hormones (by the way. you give me hope). however, she constantly says things like, trans activists are causing gender clinics to be shut down, and harassing people for not conforming, and...a lot about the mysterious militant trans activists. how true is this? should i give up hope on her ever respecting my identity and pronouns, despite her organising my appointments with the gender clinic?

Heya! I know so many trans oboists, welcome to the club! Super cool about your teacher -- my own brush with fame is I used to attend John Mack's oboe camps for many years before he passed.

1) My favorite symphonic pieces are the Hindemith Symphonic Metamorphoses and the Bartok Concerto for Orchestra. My favorite chamber would be the Poulenc Trio for oboe, bassoon, and piano.

2) Militant trans activists asserting the gender binary and closing the very clinics that serve trans people... yeah, that is a myth.

But what is happening in many places is a legal effort to severely restrict, and even ban, gender affirming care for trans people, especially minors. And this is coming from conservative, cisgender parties, with the occasional trans person or detransitioner in their pocket. (Sad, but true.)

3) If you want to see what the path to medical transition could look like for you, see what gender affirming care looks like in your area, look for local news stories, and get a feel for what laws are being proposed. It is not an easy road -- you will be open to a lifetime of risk (moreso from transphobes than medical complications), and only you can decide what is best for you.

4) As for moms turning around -- my own mother set my transition back 11 years with her initial and constant disapproval, but she's now the sort of mother who paid for my top surgery and is helping me flee Florida’s transphobic laws. So, folks absolutely can change, and being firm with your identity and boundaries helps a ton here, as does picking your battles (my mom still struggles to remember my new name).

Glad I could help in some way! :)