#two men whom im attracted to | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fleurhcss · 6 months ago

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𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚♡ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐨 𝐈𝐭 𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 - Seungmin x FEM!Reader

cw: some cunty and kinky shit, very hard sex, best friends to lovers, very possessive and hard dom seungmin with a sweet trait (im sorry i love my minnie), bratty reader, you are really a whore, stripper reader, mention of alchool and jealousy, handcuff

sw: hair pulling, pinv, cunnilingus, oral (M! receving), orgasm denial, multiple orgasm, scratching, biting, marking, bit of blood cuz seungmin is very kinky bastard MDNI!

wc: 7k

synopsis: Financially, you are not doing well. In addition to your part-time job, you attend some clubs in the evenings in order to earn a little more money. You do not mind showing off, as you love receiving compliments from men and finding new partners with whom to engage in sexual intercourse in order to satisfy your sexual frustrations. Your closest friend, Seungmin, is unaware of these circumstances. Given his protective nature, it is likely that he would take extreme measures to protect you. One unexpected outcome of the situation is that the individual in question has become a possessive dominant. He unintentionally discovers the extent of your job. This results in a particularly harsh fuck between the two, during which he is merciless. Your initial perception of him was that of a kind and gentle individual. However, upon further reflection, it becomes evident that he is, in fact, a complex and intriguing character. His actions and demeanor often elicit a strong emotional response, including feelings of intense arousal and even physical sensations such as bleeding.

a/n: hiii, I'm writing this since the chanel event! I'm sorry if i take request so sloowly but it's exam ses. now! Hope you will like this, i had fun writing it 🫶🏻🩷 made especially for this cutie @chrizzztopherbang . I opened a ko-fi account, i will post there some stories and drawings, if you want to support me i will be grateful to anyone who wants to give me tips, ITS NOT OBLIGATORY

[ SMUT ]

Another day at one of your many jobs. Lately you have been having financial problems. These included paying for university fees, rent, food, bills and other necessities. To supplement your income, you have been working four different jobs: bartending, librarian, after-school care every other day, and nightclub work every night. Your friends were unaware of this aspect of your life, as it caused you considerable embarrassment to discuss it. However, you did not feel uncomfortable about it. The practice of tipping for extra services was beneficial, although not all men were comfortable with it. Some men were able to satisfy the sexual frustrations of the women with whom they engaged in such activities. At this point, you were in the midst of a professional endeavour, helping high school students to improve their GPAs. It is remarkable that these students held you in such high esteem. Despite the exhaustion that inevitably accompanied the work, you found great satisfaction in your role. As you corrected the maths exercises of the esteemed Hana, an Anglo-Korean girl whom you held in high esteem and who always presented you with exquisite drawings, you contemplated the future once you had completed your current task.

At nine o'clock in the evening you were expected at one of the clubs in the city centre for your usual performance. In addition to the attractive salary, this job had another important advantage: you had always been passionate about dancing, and this was the closest thing you had to it. However, you had been forced to give up dancing for lack of time and money. After finishing the boys' homework and explaining some philosophical concepts and mathematical formulas, you retired to bed to get some rest. Fortunately, it was still six o'clock, allowing you to rest after an already exhausting day. You had studied in the morning, worked in the afternoon and now, in a few hours, you would resume your night work. The strange absence of your best friend's usual appearance or phone call had not yet occurred. At least he was fine. Seungmin was your best friend. He had two different personalities: during the day he was a polite and wealthy individual who showed considerable intelligence and respect; at night, when he was with his friends, he became a kind of Don Giovanni heartthrob. There is no denying that he had a certain appeal.

He was very protective of you and never allowed other men to interfere in your romantic life. As a result, he was the first to not know of your secret occupation. It is difficult to predict how he might have reacted, and it may have been for the best that he was not informed. If he ever discovered your secret, he would hunt down the men you were with one by one, and the outcome of that hunt was uncertain. He would then turn his attention to you, giving you a good-natured lecture and possibly resorting to other forms of intimidation. Your best friend was able to make him feel afraid, although you had learned this not from him but from Jisung, Seungmin's best friend, who had been caught having sex with his professor in Seungmin's car. You still remember his displeased behaviour and you were reluctant to provoke him further.

However, your premature declaration of triumph was premature, for he had not telephoned, but had arrived at your home just as you were about to fall into a deep sleep. The most disturbing aspect of the situation was the fact that you had given him the keys to your home, as he had been your closest friend for several years. So there was no need for you to get up and open the door for him, as he suddenly walked into your room in his gym clothes. This was somewhat unexpected, as he had previously expressed no interest in going to the gym. He himself noticed your puzzled expression at his unusual post-gym attire and appearance. "Good afternoon! Don't look at me with such disdain, Changbin Hyung is forcing Jisung, Felix and me to work out with him because he says we're too skinny," and you were overcome with laughter. The aforementioned were remarkably thin, consisting of two adorable little men with minimal musculature. They looked like little fairies, including Changbin, who seemed to have exaggerated musculature. Seungmin was considerably taller than the others and had broad shoulders. The image of him working out with them was quite funny.

"It's funny to consider the prospect of you working out with them. It is equally amusing to consider the prospect of you doing any kind of training at all, considering your past dislike of training," you concluded, making yourself comfortable and making room for your friend to sit next to you on the bed. He gave you a friendly pat on the arm and pouted in a way that was both endearing and characteristic of him. You had coined the term "Seungballons" to describe this particular pout, as it resembled a balloon. Furthermore, the addition of a pout in the form of a kiss would invariably render one unconscious. You found this behaviour endearing, and it prompted you to engage in a reciprocal act of affection by kissing him on the cheeks. "Ugh, in the end I have to admit that it is not without merit. It is a long-standing affair that is difficult to notice because of my tendency to wear baggy clothes. However, I have gained a considerable amount of muscle mass. Look." He said as he lifted the shirts he was wearing, causing you to be quite shocked because, yes, your friend had two pecs and a well-developed six-pack. His physical appearance provoked a strong emotional response, but he was your closest friend and you were unable to entertain such thoughts.

"You must tell Changbin that he has done an excellent job with you," you swallowed, made a feigned smile and drank some water, trying to erase the image of your best friend's partially naked body from your mind - although you did not mind. "I will, and I am grateful to you, my dear . Although we're going to a club tomorrow night; would you like to come?" he asked. You froze, considering the possibility of being caught. However, they did not usually frequent such places, so you had some protection if your luck did not turn against you. "I would like to tell you that I am unable to attend. I have a full day's work and then I have to prepare for an upcoming exam. Nevertheless, I would be interested to know where you are going, if I may ask." "I am not sure. Binnie Hyung informed us that he had discovered a new place and we were curious to know more about it," Seungmin said thoughtfully, and you felt a sense of relief that you still had the opportunity to withdraw.

But you were not convinced by your friend's desperate expression; you suspected he was hiding something. "Are you okay, Min?" you asked as you adjusted his bangs. "Yes, and I am worried about the taste of some of my hyungs, to be honest," he replied, leading you onto the bed and initiating a bout of tickling. That afternoon, your thoughts were not on the information your friend had given you. Instead, you found yourself contemplating his toned, naked chest. You had not anticipated his physical attractiveness, especially given his previous behaviour. You had grown accustomed to his puppy-dog appearance, with its endearingly youthful features.

So you did not consider the possibility that he might have been working out.

It was obvious that the ensemble suited him. Seungmin already had broad shoulders and one of your vices was to lean on them when watching a film or going out. It was a habit you had developed, but it was not a common occurrence. "Please don't change the subject. I'm curious about Changbin's tastes."

You giggled and pulled yourself together again. Seungmin was no innocent, so he blushed slightly.

His former partners had confirmed this to you, as they had discussed his sexual performance in great detail. However, he was ashamed to discuss certain topics in public or with you, as you were his best friend. He saw you as an innocent girl, which you were not. "Let's say he has a taste for strippers and nightclubs. That is all I am saying, and I am aware that it is a rather embarrassing subject".

He finished by running his hand over his face, making you chuckle.

"As if you had never seen a woman without her clothes on." You made the claim. In fact, he had observed numerous instances of female nudity, including those of his romantic partners.

"Yes, but I was with them. I am not like Hyung who has adventures with women who lap dance for him in night clubs". Had he been aware of this, he would have realised that this is exactly what you do for a living. "You have never considered fucking a woman you are not romantically involved with and who is not your girlfriend?" you inquired as you began to manipulate the fabric of his suit. "No, I'm... shy," he replied, biting his lip. He was looked at with a certain amount of disbelief.

" You! are shy?" you asked, looking at him with an expression that even he, as your closest friend, could not interpret. "Yes, I am," he replied, grimacing and then playfully pushing you. "You're really weird, Kim Seungmin," you pushed him back and then initiated a tickling session, blushing as you felt how well trained and sculpted he was under your touch. It was not the first time you had touched a well-trained chest, but Seungmin's did something to you. Maybe it was because he was your closest friend, or maybe it was because he was different from the others you had met, or maybe it was because you were used to seeing him consistently and exclusively as a thin individual with broad shoulders.

It can be argued that, without meaning to, you became preoccupied with fantasies about Seungmin to an extent that was inappropriate. Not only had you been friends for years, but he was one of your closest friends. Although you found it difficult to erase certain images of him from your mind, you felt guilty about thinking about him in a certain way. It is also worth noting that your nighttime occupation presented certain challenges. It would be highly undesirable for any of your friends, especially Seungmin, to become aware of your nighttime activities. On reflection, Seungmin had mentioned visiting a nightclub. If he were to find you on duty at one of the clubs where you were a regular, your situation would be untenable. It is unclear how Seungmin perceived you, but it is unlikely that he saw you as a dancer in one of the clubs that your best friend's best friend appreciated.

He suddenly asked what he should wear, causing you to look at him with a certain amount of concern. Your best friend was known for his occasional eccentricities. "Excuse me, but do I look like an expert on nightclubs to you?" you inquired, your tone betraying a certain concern. "No, but as a woman you might have the knowledge to dress me in a manner that would impress," he replied, almost shyly, though his demeanour betrayed his true feelings. "So my dear Min wants to impress a girl?" you inquired, playfully pinching his cheek as you laughed. He looked at you with a look of displeasure. "I am a man and I have not fucked for several months. I have certain... needs. By the way, it is undoubtedly a challenge for me to refrain from emotional connection during fucks. However, I cannot resist certain urges. Perhaps at the end of the night I can get a positive response from someone," he said in a low voice, his hands covering his face. "Are you really saying that you want to fuck while being all shy, Kim Seungmin?" You laughed in his face for the umpteenth time. "What do you want? It seems like you haven't fucked for a long time." He tousled your hair, but watching your expression closely, he returned it with a confused one, to say the least.

The problem was that you lacked the ability to lie effectively, especially in the context of deceiving him. As a result, you often displayed peculiar facial expressions that he was able to read with remarkable clarity. "Oh my God, fuck! You fucked with someone and didn't tell me?" he asked, his expression showing more anger than offence. "That is not true. You are imagining these events," you replied, trying to maintain a neutral expression. "Yes, you did. You fucked and did not tell me about it. You know you cannot lie to me, Y/N," he said, biting his lip with an expression that was both serious and intense. The atmosphere had become noticeably more intense, with a palpable sense of unease and tension. You were in a compromising situation and had placed yourself in a vulnerable position. You could have been sure that you felt the first drops of perspiration forming on your face. However, you were forced to end the discussion before it got to the heart of the matter. The most expedient course of action was to acknowledge that it had happened, even if in a limited way. "It happened on a few occasions when I was drunk, but it was not a regular occurrence," you said, trying to give a concise account. Nevertheless, he was not inclined to inquire about the incident in question.

"Only a few times when you were drunk? Are you crazy? What if something had happened to you?" There was the protective Seungmin you wanted to avoid. You were grateful for his concern and lack of complaints, but sometimes it became unbearable. "Still, it didn't happen. I am mature enough to understand the consequences of my actions, Seungmin," you said, pointing at him with your finger as if to admonish him. "Yes, I am aware of that, but I am concerned for your well-being," he said, grabbing your arm and then taking a bite. It could be described as a unique form of affection with which he expressed his apology to you. "I am aware, Seung, but don't worry, I am fully aware of my actions," you smiled at him, taking his face in your hand and planting a kiss on his forehead. "You should return home, as you are in a rather foul state, Mr Gym," you playfully admonished him, giving him a light tap on the shoulder before he left your domicile.

The working day was going to be quite long.

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You were deeply distressed and felt considerable discomfort throughout your body. At work the night before, you were forced to work an extended overtime shift (for which you were paid only half the normal rate). This resulted in a complex set of experiences, including physical pain and a significant financial reward. You were required to have sexual intercourse with two people, a task which you found unpleasant, particularly given the lack of arousal involved. However, the remuneration was satisfactory and you did not express any significant dissatisfaction. You were aware that the nature of the work was inequitable, but you found it necessary and occasionally used it as a means of satisfying certain desires. Fortunately, you had acquired the ability to fake an orgasm, which you used on some occasions, such as yesterday. At that time you were lying in bed, surrounded by books for your upcoming exam, and in a few hours you would have to go to work in the morning.

That night, despite your best efforts, you had to go to a club in the city centre. You had completely forgotten that Changbin was going to take Seungmin and the others to a club in the city centre, which could very well have been the one you were on duty at that night. However, you had not considered this possibility and your mind was so preoccupied that it kept slipping away. So you prepared discreetly for your exam, unaware that that night was the perfect opportunity for you to meet your closest friend, who was likely to be visibly distressed. You were due to perform your duties that afternoon and hoped that the number of customers would be relatively small, given your limited mobility.

The mere anticipation of returning to work that night caused a deep sense of anxiety. You hoped that no one would ask for private shows or other activities that you sometimes found unpleasant. The only desire was to rest and wake in a pool of wealth. You rose listlessly to prepare your lunch. It was not possible to combine work and rest in this way, so you had to take painkillers and vitamins.

You then found yourself preparing and serving smoothies and ice creams in your favourite café. Your day went on as usual. What you did not anticipate was the presence of your closest friend at the table you were to serve. One might ask whether you should not have been preparing for your evening activities. One is tempted to inquire about the nature of their joint venture in a café a few hours before their nightclubbing. They expressed their displeasure at the proprietor's suggestion that they should hurry to serve the aforementioned table, and furthermore, they could not avoid the situation, as Seungmin was aware that this was a table assigned to you, and sat there consistently with the intention of being served.

After a long period of contemplation, you approached them. "Good evening, shouldn't you be getting ready for your clubbing night?" you said, your tone sarcastic. Your friend smiled at you and pinched your side. You wanted to run away. "Jisung is unable to consume alcohol unless he has had a meal or smoothie beforehand," Felix informed him, drawing a scornful look from him. "It is not recommended to consume alcohol on an empty stomach." The boy explained that alcohol is absorbed more quickly into the bloodstream and the effects of intoxication are more pronounced. "Isn't that the point of going to nightclubs? And who told you this? Your respected professor?" the older boy asked jokingly. They looked at each other with a strange expression and Seungmin continued to explain the matter: Jisung had a somewhat unconventional relationship with one of his university professors, characterised by frequent flirting. "I have to respectfully disagree. Minho is a very good professor," he replied, blushing. Her expression was unmistakable. "You're calling him by his first name now, too," he observed, causing a general outburst of mirth, especially the adorable blush on Jisung's chubby cheeks.

"So what can I get for you?" you inquired, interrupting the conversation to take their orders and get out of your friend's company. You were particularly keen to avoid the question from your friend, who would undoubtedly invite you to the evening's event.

You had only been there a few minutes when you noticed Seungmin casting furtive glances in your direction and his friends teasing him about something you did not understand. Unbeknownst to you, they were teasing him about the fleeting glances he was sending your way. "Seungmin, did you notice that you are eating her with your eyes?" inquired Felix, appropriating the cherry from his milkshake. "That's not right," he replied, taking a sip from his glass. "Indeed it is. One might suggest that you ask her out," the blonde continued. "That would be an unusual and somewhat awkward situation, and then I believe she might be involved in a nocturnal affair, or perhaps even a series of them," he said, lowering his head. "And you are jealous! "Which leads to the question if this is what you want to do tonight," Changbin inquired. "Be silent. It is possible that I am indeed jealous. "

The observed behaviour was merely the incessant movement of lips in an attempt to escape the source of discomfort as quickly as possible. Fortunately, twenty minutes later the group left and Seungmin offered you a quick kiss on the cheek. This sparked further merriment among his small group of friends, causing you to become increasingly suspicious. Your only concern was to avoid running into them at the nightclub where you were working that night. This had been your intention since yesterday, since your closest friend had informed you of it. Your anxiety about this matter was greater than your concern about your inability to dance effectively due to the discomfort of the previous night.

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In the midst of your preparations for the upcoming show, you were forced to change your clothes in a hurry. Fortunately, you had already finished your make-up. The evening dress was of a revealing nature and the dancing was expected to be energetic. It was hoped that the wearer would not feel uncomfortable. Your colleague entered your dressing room and informed you that you were about to perform, so you began your usual stage performance for adolescent and middle-aged males.

The only people missing were those you expected to see at the club. The only discernible difference was that they were watching you, watching you with particular interest, especially your closest friend, who opened his eyes wide as he consumed no less than two shots in the space of three minutes. "What is she doing there?" he asked, clenching his fists as he fixed his gaze on you. "I'm sure there must be an explanation, and maybe she didn't tell you because she didn't want you to worry," Jisung said, grabbing his shoulders behind Changbin as Seungmin seemed on the verge of exploding. "She's undeniably attractive," the shorter one remarked, drawing a withering look from the younger one. "Hyung, I strongly recommend you not to make any advances towards her. It is already difficult enough for me not to pick her up from the stage, but I assure you that as soon as she goes to the dressing room, I will not let her get away from me." He downed another shot of vodka.

It is unfortunate that at the end of your nightly performance, another person followed you into the dressing room and you failed to notice the presence of Seungmin, who was standing directly behind you and had suddenly issued a silent threat. The incident was so severe that when you turned around you suffered a stroke and lost the ability to speak. Your situation was indeed very screwed up. "Seungmin, I can..." you were abruptly interrupted and led to your dressing room where he sat you down at your personal table. His gaze was one of intense desire, imbued with the combined effects of alcohol and rage. You had never seen him in such a state. "Explain? What exactly do you want to explain to me? Explain how you sold your body without ever telling me?" He said, grabbing your waist. That should not have aroused you.

"I have economic problems and this is the only job that offers a satisfactory salary," you said in your defence. "I am indifferent to the matter. I could have helped". You are my property, OK? No one is allowed to touch you, Y/N". He then kissed you with considerable passion and force. This was a source of considerable distress for you, as it was different from your expectations of the situation. Although you experienced a degree of pleasure, the situation remained somewhat unusual. His hands were of considerable size and appeared to be a suitable instrument for caressing. "Why not? Who decided that I belong to you?" you inquired in a teasing manner. At this point the situation became increasingly amusing for you as well. "I must now erase the memory of this unclean contact before I had the opportunity to do so," he whispered into your ear before reaching down into the hollow of your neck and allowing you to ingest the substance. "Seungmin, my legs are tired. I am unable to walk," you informed him, indicating your own limitations. "There are numerous other ways to satisfy our mutual desires, and we will address this particular issue at a later time." Furthermore, I am. While I wish to destroy you, I would never take advantage of a woman in this state. Remarkably, he remained in character as the usual Seungmin knight.

"What are you going to do in my dressing room?" you asked, watching as he bent down between your thighs and pulled off the suit you had worn for the evening. "I am not sure. I have a craving, if I may be so bold as to say." He smiled. This young man you had previously considered a potential threat to your sanity. He found your body aesthetically pleasing. He began another insatiable and passionate kiss. His hands descended in a sweeping motion, tracing a path down your body, cupping your thighs and gradually rising to your buttocks, which he gripped firmly in a vice-like grip. "Your beauty is such that it is unconscionable to wait any longer. I want you and I want to play a little," Seungmin said with a sneer in his voice. Then he moved you to the small sofa with the instruction to straddle his body. He proceeded to kiss your neck, leaving a series of marks. It was inevitable that he would bite you, it was apparently a habit of his. You had learnt it from his exes. He would bite you to let you know he owned you, bite you until you bled, and lick the mess he made. This aroused you considerably. He smiled, indicating that he understood. You were in a state where he could do as he pleased. No other person had ever made you feel such intense arousal.

"Look at you, you are ready for me to do anything I want to you." He was not aware of this either.

The young man moved closer to you, initiating another passionate kiss as he cupped your neck with one hand and used the other to caress your intimacy. The movements were slow at first, but soon accelerated as your best friend removed your panties and quickly stroked your clit. When he became tired, he began a long series of kisses on your inner thighs. He then grabbed your thighs and brought them up to his shoulders. He then began to leave kisses on your vagina. "Please don't wait any longer," you said and Seungmin laughed and then began to lick your cunt in a long slow motion. He cupped your ass as he massaged it. You had been waiting for this moment ever since he had put his thin, large hands on your waist the day before.

"Seungmin, please..." you almost begged him before arching your back in a series of involuntary gasps, clinging to the back of the sofa as best you could. You looked at him, pressing harder against his face, wanting more and more. He laughed as he watched the reactions he was provoking in you with each touch, which only served to increase his desire to possess you. He grinned as he continued what he had begun. His hands were firmly harpooned in your bottom and thanks to the pleasure you were experiencing, you had thrown your head back. He laughed again as his tongue continued its work. He found the taste of you on his taste buds particularly delicious, sending him into a state of intense pleasure. He was deeply and passionately in love with you, with every aspect of your being. His nose came into contact with your pubic hair as a result of the depth of penetration achieved with his tongue. He was enjoying himself to a considerable degree, as evidenced by your moans and the pulling of strands of his hair. Seungmin was not uncomfortable with this aspect of your behaviour, in fact he found it erotic in a special way. He smiled as his tongue explored your orifice in slow, circular movements designed to bring you to a state of ecstasy. Seungmin silently enjoyed the experience. His only goal was to ensure your pleasure. His hands moved to the sides of your thighs, which he slapped hard. He took pleasure in leaving his marks, but he would never do anything to harm you; he worshipped you.

Then his hands moved in a circular motion, grasping your thighs and placing them on your shoulders. His mouth, which had previously been in contact with your clit, moved to sink his teeth into your inner thigh. He took pleasure in leaving his marks on you. No one was allowed to touch his woman; you were his and his alone. You were his. A pocket knife emerged from his boot, the purpose of which was unclear. However, before this could be determined, he took your labia majora between his teeth and pulled them towards him, pressing them against his mouth in order to suck your clitoris. This was done in a manner reminiscent of sucking a straw. He then drew a thin line with the blade of the penknife, leaving a streak of blood, all the way to your mound. This brought you to a state of considerable arousal. He withdrew from your vulva, reached up to begin his work, and began to lick the warm, crimson liquid that was slowly oozing from the wound. In addition, the moans of pain and pleasure you gave him drove him to a state of unprecedented ecstasy. The sensation of your mouth alone was more fulfilling than any other experience. He continued to suck on the blood dripping from the wound, causing further lesions on his breasts, around his nipples, in his groin and near his navel. This only accelerated his orgasm. Furthermore, when he inserted two fingers into your mouth, which was already open, he continued to stimulate your tongue. "Look at you... my submissive slut," he said, smiling.

He sneered as he took your face between his fingers. The picture showed you in a blood-soaked state. After a short interval, he withdrew his fingers and proceeded to stimulate your orifice by alternately inserting and withdrawing his digit. This was done in such a way as to create a deep sense of arousal. Seungmin was fascinated by the prospect of fucking you at that moment. "What is your desire, my princess?" "Not that you can do much in this state," he said, laughing, referring to his fingers inside you. "I want to touch you," you whispered, your voice hoarse from the constant moaning. "You can do better than that," he winked, then pulled away and sat you down on your side, then stood up, took off his trousers and sat down beside you. You stood frozen for a moment at the sight of his length; he was tall and compact. You had never seen one like it before.

"I see you are happy with it, Princess," he said, bringing your face close to his. You had fully perceived what he was trying to achieve. You were fully aware of his intentions. You were incapable of uttering any further words, as if his imposing stature had put you in a state of trance. He then proceeded to rub the head of his member against your lips in what appeared to be a teasing manner. It was not difficult for you to open your lips and make contact with the glans. You then proceeded to suck on the tip and then ran your tongue along the entire circumference and veins. You stimulated the testicles with your hands, causing him to moan hoarsely. As you continued to insert him fully into your mouth until you reached the uvula, you let out a moan that caused his member to tremble. This elicited a high-pitched moan from him.

"Fuck, baby like that." He explained that by grabbing your hair and then fucking your mouth, you were sure that you would come again if he continued.Indeed, your assumption proved to be correct.

That is exactly what happened.

"Fuck Y/N, I'm coming, take it off," he said, removing his hand from your hair. But you had no intention of removing your mouth. You grabbed his thighs and thrust his member deep into your throat, causing him to release inside you with a long, audible moan. You swallowed, licked your lips and looked at him. "You are incomprehensibly unaware of the effect you have on me," he winked. "I can, however, inform you of the effect you have on me." You giggled, then reached up to his ear and planted a kiss beneath it. "You have brought me to another orgasm," you said with a hint of mockery.

"Now, if it pleases you, I would be grateful for a date and to clean you up," he smiled as he led you to your private bathroom. "I would be most honoured, sir," you replied, laughing. It was not the ending you had expected.

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The experience of being discovered by Seungmin during a night shift would not be on any normal person's bucket list. However, the incident led to a change in your life. Seungmin had persuaded you to quit your job at a nightclub because he was concerned about your welfare and did not want you to be used as a mere object by men. Among other things, he had offered to support you financially until you found suitable alternative employment. He helped you to find a job that offered a comparable income and was adamant that it did not involve the exploitation of your body for sexual gratification. Although you were initially reluctant, given your long-standing opposition to his financial support, you eventually agreed.

The unexpected meeting also took place. He had invited you shortly after your encounter in the dressing room while he was discreetly cleaning up the mess. To be honest, you had never considered Seungmin as a potential romantic partner. However, your perspective had gradually changed over time. Back then, his friends, who were also your friends, had informed you that he had been casting furtive glances at you and had developed an interest in you. This confused you at first, but you eventually got used to it. You also had to prepare mentally for the meeting.

You did not deny that you were a little apprehensive; you were unsure of the destination he had in mind for this evening. He had instructed you to dress in a way that was both comfortable and tasteful, but your anxiety was growing. After a long shower, you began to look through your wardrobe, but it was difficult to choose an outfit without knowing where you were going. In the end, however, you chose a relatively simple ensemble consisting of a black ruffled skirt, not too short, and a top of the same colour that left your shoulders bare and had a boat neckline. You wore your beloved wedges. If you had to choose between them and heels, based on what Seungmin had told you about elegance and comfort, you would have chosen the latter. Your make-up was minimal, your hair was wavy and fell to your shoulders, your necklace was tightly fastened around your neck and all your jewellery was in its proper place. You completed your ensemble with a fruity and very sugary perfume before heading into the living room to wait for your no longer best friend.

Seungmin arrived shortly afterwards with a large bouquet of roses, in keeping with his reputation as a gallant man. You smiled as you remembered that he had not been in bed with you, especially after the knife performance. He said, "For you, my princess," and then kissed you on the lips. The anticipation of the evening's events had been palpable, yet the simplicity of the act itself evoked a deep sense of emotional resonance. The culmination of this experience was the tender kiss beneath the earlobe, accompanied by the words, "I hope you are well prepared as we have a long night ahead of us".

It was your firm belief that if he had continued to talk to you like this throughout the evening, you would have been so aroused that you would have removed your underwear, even if there had been no physical contact. In fact, you sighed before placing the roses in a vase of water and accompanying him to the car. It was a revelation to you that the vehicle in question was of considerable size. It was also admitted that Seungmin looked particularly handsome that night. He was wearing a black tank top and loose black trousers. His appearance was complemented by a leather jacket and jewellery. His footwear consisted of half-heeled ankle boots, which were as black as the rest of his outfit. His hair was lightly gelled and curly. He was a man of considerable qualities and attributes. You licked your lips and he watched, giving you the opportunity to do so. It was inevitable that he would drive you out of your mind as soon as he could.

There was no denying that the car ride had contributed to the evening's events. He held your thigh firmly in his hand and massaged your skin, occasionally reaching under the fabric of your skirt. He was aware that this was having a positive effect on you and you were similarly pleased by the experience. He felt a sense of predatory intent, like a predator with a vulnerable prey in his grasp.

The evening was going well. He had taken you to a modest restaurant at an elevated location, and you had enjoyed a sumptuous meat dish accompanied by an excellent wine. It was obvious that he had not missed the opportunity to cast certain glances at you as he sipped the vin rouge in his glass. He continued to look at you in an increasingly intimidating manner. The conversation went well and you had always enjoyed his company. The topics were varied and engaging, even when a situation had developed between you that couldn't be defined with a specific term. However, it seemed that Seungmin had anticipated your thoughts, as he initiated a discussion on the matter. "Considering that this is a full-fledged date, I would like to suggest that we raise the status of our relationship to boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't think there's any need for a proper dating, as I'm aware of your preferences," he said, raising his eyebrows as he took another sip of wine. "I agree, except for one thing: you do not know me well enough to have discovered my clandestine activities." You provoked him, knowing how the subject would arouse his jealousy. "I did not expect you to go so far." "I have always thought of you as my princess and hoped that you would eventually ask for my help." He wrinkled his nose. "Minie, it is important for me to be able to support myself. I am grateful for your help, but once I have secured employment, I would prefer you to stop helping me, okay?" you smiled with a pout in response.

Perhaps I should pay and we could go to my place?" he asked, smiling, before wiping his lips and getting to his feet. You did the same, but were stopped by him. He took your hand and kissed it before leading you to the exit. "This dinner is a date, and I am paying as usual. You are my friend and I will treat you properly," he said, making you blush. The gentleman in question displayed admirable behaviour and etiquette when dealing with women. He knew how to treat women with the respect and consideration they deserved. It is worth noting that in addition to the bedroom activities mentioned above, you had also gained an understanding of his somewhat eccentric behaviour outside the bedroom. You then waited outside the restaurant for him to return. He reappeared shortly afterwards, accompanied by a second bottle of red wine. "It was an excellent meal, and I have a plan for tonight. You'll see what I'm capable of, my dear," he said with a chuckle, then led you to the car and drove you both to his home.

To say that he did not even allow you the opportunity to survey the surroundings, despite your intimate familiarity with the house, was an understatement.

He immediately picked you up and carried you to his bed.

He then disappeared, returning with two goblets of wine.That night will remain indelibly etched in your memory.You watched as Seungmin took off his jacket and black shirt, leaving the vision to his well defined abs and the glittering necklace he was wearing.As you watched him take a sip of wine after almost completely undressing, you had to admit that his actions made your entire body tremble. Your panties were now soaked. "Now, Princess, undress for me," he said, grinning and licking his lips.He then lay on the bed with one hand behind his head and the other holding the goblet.

By this time the positions had been reversed, with the man on the bed watching your every move while you knelt in front of him, removing each piece of clothing until you were completely naked in front of him.

"How beautiful, come closer," he murmured. You approached him on all fours, the naked intimacy of your body matching his, still fully clothed. He watched you for a long time, as if to etch your image into his memory. You smiled and shivered as he began a gentle caress of your form. He caressed your cheek, shoulder and breasts in that order. He then moved to the other breast with his free hand, having previously placed the cup on the table. He began to massage it at a slow and deliberate pace, appreciating the texture of your skin. He then teased your nipple with his fingers, before pouncing on it with his lips and doing the same to the other. One hand, which had previously been at the back of your neck, now moved to your waist, where it began to caress it. His touch was so seductively overpowering that it left you breathless. He applied pressure to your hip as his lips played with your breasts. He then moved to your shoulders, biting and branding them. Your hands were clenched in his shoulders, scratching them lightly as you rubbed your vulva against the covered flap of his trousers. "Wait a moment, I want to feel you on me," he whispered in your ear.

He separated your bodies for a brief moment, then proceeded to undress you completely, allowing your intimacies to collide. "How about riding me?" he asked, smiling and winking. Your lips parted in surprise at the mere suggestion. It was highly unlikely that you would have survived the night. Seungmin was like a mermaid whose enchanting song was meant to captivate and enchant. You swallowed and then nodded in agreement. You applied gentle pressure to the head of his penis between your labia, causing you to pant and eliciting a moan from the Major. He had brought one arm back behind your head while the other held you tightly against him, increasing the contact. You lowered yourself completely onto him, allowing him to enter and fuck you completely, which he did with considerable force. Your moans mingled, accompanied by a soft exclamation of "Fuck!" from him. "Your cunt is both tight and warm, which feels very good. You should start to move," he instructed, and you complied. Normally such an act would have been abhorrent to you, but with him it was all so natural.

As he stroked your hips, you had begun to move at a slower pace. It was a sensation you had never experienced with any other partner. It was as if Seungmin had an innate understanding of the exact places and techniques needed to touch you. Your movements became faster and faster and your nails were driven into his back. "Min, I'm coming. I can feel it. My thighs are burning. Please, speed up!" You were on the verge. "No, not yet," you grunted, then changed positions. You vocalised your displeasure as he withdrew from your embrace, feeling a sense of emptiness. At this point you were positioned beneath him as he continued to penetrate you, his imposing frame towering over you.

You were sure that an orgasm was imminent, given his position on top of you as he thrust vigorously into you. However, he seemed to disagree, indicating that he was not interested in facilitating an orgasm. He claimed that it was too early for such a reaction. So he withdrew from you, leaving you with an empty feeling. "Please, Seung, I can no longer stand it," you begged him. Only after he had pushed you with an animal force did he give you permission to come. "Your warmth and tightness are so arousing...come for me," he whispered, allowing you to release yourself around him. He informed you that they had not yet reached the end of the act. He then turned you over on your stomach and began to leave bites and marks on your back, tracing a trail of them all over your ass. He continued to lick and slap the area between your buttocks, causing you to moan. Despite this, you still had some residual sensitivity from the previous orgasm.

You were unable to speak as he sank back into you, twisting your hair in his grip and pulling it towards him as he thrust violently, abusing your cunt. You arched your back and rolled your eyes, no one had ever given you such intense pleasure. "Ah... Seungmin... please..." you moaned one last time before you came again. "Who gave you permission?" he demanded, thrusting at a surprisingly fast pace. It was relatively easy for you to reach your third orgasm in a row that night. "Seungmin, I'm about to..." The words were barely audible.

"Come with me," he groaned and then proceeded to ejaculate into you and you after him, now exhausted. "I will get you the necessary cleaning supplies," he murmured, then stroked your side and got a cloth soaked in warm, damp water to clean you. He then tied your hair into a braid and made you a cup of hot tea after dressing you in a pair of clean briefs and one of his shirts. "You look so lovely," you murmured, trying to relax on his chest. "It's the least I can do after making you come how many times?" he said, laughing as he pinched your side. "Three, but don't boast, sir," you gave him a tongue-lashing. "Do all gentlemen do it rough?" you burst out laughing.

TAGLIST 🎀 : @yongbokkiesworld @gloomy-k @raindropsondragons @linocvp1d @iiamthedramaa @snowyquokka @pynchkilledme @y4kie @ihrtlix @hyunjinnnsgirl @sugarsweetsugarsweet @reader1221 @bubblebisk @chrizzztopherbang @skzooluvr @yoontaethings @ovr9000

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zolawffy · 10 months ago

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RIDE IT LIKE A RODEO

Ft ASL Brothers

COWBOY EDITION 😍

“And imma ride like a rodeo, hogtie you like a rodeo, cow girl like a rodeo”

🤠 ASL who saw you riding the mechanical bull and couldn’t help but notice how you stayed up there for longer than most people, even while tipsy as ever.

🤠Ace who couldnt help but smirk at his brothers at the way your hips jerked back and forth on the bull.

🤠Sabo who grew hungry to see what other tricks you got up your sleeve as you rode it with one hand in the air. Sabo didnt let a single detail about you fly past him, he seen your outfit choice for the night: Cargo shorts, white halter top, cowgirl hat, and some thigh high heels with fringe on it. And boy did he love it. He sat there taking a swig of his drink actin’ all nonchalantly but in reality, he thinks that hot as hell.

🤠Luffy who wants to go for a ride on the bull but doesn’t mind watching you either. Luffy who tilted his hat at you in attempts to get you over here. When you returned the gesture, Luffy runs closer to the arena and starts cheering you on grinning from ear to ear.

🤠Ace, whom (not so sneakily) controlled the bull on a high setting purposefully to see your breast bounce with each harsh impact.

🤠You, who lost all balance when you saw the three fine men observing you. Who were amused at watching you howl and show your friends how you can stay up on that bull!!

🤠Ace tilts his hat, and you do the same. Sabo shakes your hand. And luffy who wants to know if you can ride a real bull.

🤠Sabo who orders you a drink, on him, he says. Sabo has just the right amount of charm, he made you smile and laugh. Sabo has the face of an angel, and his clothes fit him perfectly. And finally, that scar on his eye adds the perfect touch. Your pretty sure you fell in love when you seen him.

🤠Ace sits up on the counter between you in Sabo, of course in attempts to flirt with you. You thought ace was really attractive especially seeing his bare abdomen with chiseled features and that arm tattoo flexing with his muscles. Not only that, but his cute freckles and his bright smile. We cant forget his charm.

🤠When you seen ace’s back tattoo, you wondered what other marks can go on his back. 🤭

Anddd im out of ideas part two will prob be a smut with a story sooooooooo 🤫

#Spotify #one piece #black reader #one piece x reader #asl brothers #portgas d ace #monkey d lufy #joy boy #revolutionary sabo #one piece sabo #sabo #one piece luffy headcannon #one piece luffy #one piece ace #ace one piece #cowboy #rodeo #ride it #bounce on it

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river13245 · 1 year ago

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Idjiots (sam x male reader)

Navigation / SPN masterlist

Warnings: Few cuss words? Sam and reader being idjiots, Alcohol.

The store was a busy place, it was full of human people. People who had blood running through their veins without a care in the world. Humans who had a family to get home to take care of. Human, that's all you could smell. It filled rooms wherever you went.

After years or practice you could control yourself in a room full of people. However that doesn't stop the smell from circling you. You had being working on self control for years now. With the help of your father...well with whom you considered your father.

Grabbing some fruits and some more vegetables after getting the basic things someone would get at the store you paid with the money you had brought with you and started heading home.

Once you exited the store the smell of the world was now around you. No longer were the strong temptations around you. Carrying the five bags you had in your arms you passed through people on the sidewalk and crossed the streets.

When you arrived home you hadn't been paying attention to if anyone had been there since its usually just you and your dad. You cant tell just anyone that Bobby Singer is your dad given his history and your own. Opening the door you start talking as you head straight to the kitchen. "so they didn't have everything that you needed on your list but i got other things that should work instead"

The three men who were sitting with Bobby all looked over at you before the oldest spoke up. "who the hell are you?" Turning around as you place down your bags onto the counter you look over at him. "I'm y/n and who the hell are you?"

" Im dean" after hearing his name you were finally able to put a face to the name. Bobby had told you stories about them and how they wouldn't take to kindly to you if they found out your a vampire. So he had said if you ever met them that you would have to get them to like you first before telling them.

Reaching for your items you begin putting them away as you speak. "well I pictured you to be very different. From all the stories I was told" Bobby knew what you were doing. He had told you about how Dean had a big Ego.

"Am i not living up to the idea you had of me?" he asked as you finished putting everything away and walked into the room with them. You looked at him and looked at Sam momentarily "I pictured you more attractive...and taller but I guess I was thinking of the wrong brother"

Sam looked up at you while Dean Smirked a little bit. "Well not all of us can have good taste" Which ended up with dean getting punched in the shoulder by Sam. "what did you say your name was again?"

"His name is y/n and he is my son..i guess you could say" Bobby answered "its a long story" Sam looked at him and shrugged "We've got time"

As you sat down Bobby began to tell them the story of how you two met and everything. Leaving out the part of you being a vampire. He always told you that if you ever wanted someone to know, you should tell them. Not him.

Once the story is finished you all talk for a while about their current hunt and some other things. And before you know it, its late and everyone is getting tired. "you guys can stay a few nights. So you don't have to worry about a hotel or anything while you hunt"

-----

Early in the morning you were sitting at your desk drawing. However the sounds of snoring were filling your ears since you could hear everything with your vampire abilities.

The sun had started to rise which caused you to finally look at the clock seeing its 7:00. You sigh and get up from your seat heading downstairs to see Sam passed out on the couch looking extremely uncomfortable. He got the choice of the couch since Dean and him played rock paper scissors and lost.

Feeling sorry for him you walked over and knelt down beside him and run your hand up and down his arm lightly. "Sam, wake up." Soon enough his eyes open and he looks at you "sorry you just looked very uncomfortable." taking your hand off him you stand up. "I'm going to make breakfast for everyone. Why don't you just go take my room in the meantime"

He slowly wakes up and sits up on the couch running his hand through his hair. "no no I need to get up. I'm usually up by now." Laughing a little as you walk to the kitchen "Must have had a long night then. You and Dean did drink a bit last night"

You were met with silence as you got out some eggs, bread, bacon and potatoes. Thinking that Sam went to your room to lay down you started to play some music, making sure to keep it at a low volume.

When you started to cook you hear footsteps behind you and its Sam beginning to scramble the eggs. He must have felt your eyes on him cause he smiled a little "I wanted to help. You made us dinner last night its the least I can do" You smiled softly as you continued to cook "thank you Sam"

---

As you guys cook you hum along to the music that plays. Sam remains quiet, just listening to the food cook and your humming. However when Paramore comes on you begin go sing a little louder. Still remaining at a quiet tone since everyone is still asleep.

"I should be over all the butterflies, but I'm into you. I'm into you" You sing as you plate food for you and Sam.

"And baby even on our worst nights I'm into you, Let them wonder how we got so far" Sam joins in causing you to look at him and continue.

Let them wonder how we got this far, cause I don't even need to wonder at all" you sing and then you both sing the next line simultaneously. "after all this time I'm still into you"

You both continue to sing as you finish the food. Only stopping when you hear deans voice "okay you two love birds. I smelled food, didnt know a concert was available too" Turning around you see Dean grabbing a plate while your dad looks at you shaking his head chuckling to himself.

-----

The week goes by pretty fast. Too fast for your liking. You and Sam had gotten extremely close over the week along with everyone else. Your dad seemed happier when they were home, it was obvious to you but not to everyone else.

You were always super observant over peoples attitudes and feelings. However what you weren't observant of was Sam's feelings for you.

Since day one you had found Sam attractive, the fact that he was tall also didn't help at all. You and Sam watched movies together in your room at night when everyone was asleep. Made breakfast for everyone since the day you guys got caught singing.

Sam also couldn't help but start to like you too. First impressions are everything to him and you gave him a hell of an impression. When you joked with Dean the first time you guys met. Then how you were so caring towards everyone you cared for and yes that included him and Dean.

You two were oblivious even though you both flirted with each other all the time. However who wasn't oblivious to all of this was Dean and Bobby. They planned on doing something about it because they were tired of seeing the back and forth shit.

----

On the last day they were going to be there it was a sunny day after raining for days. You felt yourself grow sad and slightly moody the longer the day went on. Sam and Dean were out catching the monster/s while you had stayed behind since they didn't need extra help.

Your dad is sitting on the couch drinking a beer when you sigh and grab a water bottle before walking into the living room. Bobby was reading his journal when you grab his beer and replace it with a water. "hey what the hell?" he says as you roll your eyes "Your liver has to be shit by now. With how often you drink."

He sit on the couch looking over at you now glaring at you. "listen just because you are upset over dean and your precious Sam are leaving today doesn't mean you get to take my beer!"

His tone wasn't actually upset he was just trying to get a reaction out of you and you knew that. So now you glare at him "just drink the damn water Bobby. Please" you say and he sighs before taking a drink of his water and continuing his reading.

A few hours go by and you had been keeping yourself busy not wanting to stop moving because you know if you did then you would think about how Sam is going to leave for who knows how long.

You were currently cleaning the kitchen making it spotless when the door opens the guys come back. When they come in they see Bobby drinking water causing dean to speak "I didn't know you knew what water was Bobby"

Bobby looks over and shrugs "y/n over there is in one of his moods. He hasn't stopped moving since you guys left" Dean knew why that was but Sam was to busy walking over to you and grabbed your arms lightly stopping you from cleaning the counters which were already clean "y/n slow down. There is nothing to clean"

Stopping your movements you look over at Sam and place down the rag onto the counter and let out a breath you hadn't known you were holding. "I'm sorry" you say as Sam pulls you close to him and he rests his head on top of yours. "its okay. No one is mad." he pulls away and gives you a small smile before Dean places his hand on Sam's shoulder "okay Sammy lets go grab our things and put them in the car"

Sam goes to the extra room and gets everything. While you go to the living room waiting to tell the both of them goodbye. Bobby ends up walking over to you "Tell the guy how you feel son." you shake your head "no there is no point. We never know how long they will be gone for. Or if they will even come back and we both know you wont let me go with them because of my...condition"

Bobby is silent especially when the both of them come down with their bags. He does go help Dean carry the stuff leaving Sam and you by the door.

Looking up at Sam you nod "well looks like its goodbye for now huh?" Sam nods and looks down at you "You know ill be back. Cant stay away from Bobby for long. ya know?" His words cause you to chuckle "oh yes sure. Bobby is always such a joy to be around"

Sam looks around and notices Dean give him a look encouraging him to do something. So he takes places his hand on your shoulder "look I will call you every day. Hell id invite you to come along but Bobby would probably have some words to say about that one. But i dont want to leave till I do something"

"do what" you ask as he brings his hands to the sides of your face pulling you into a kiss. He leans down quiet a bit as you wrap your arms around his waist.

When the both of you pull away you're both smiling like kids at a candy factory. You place your hand on his chest "I might just have to sneak away and come join you guys on your adventure"

Sam laughs and you both look over at Bobby when he whistles for everyone's attention. He holds out a bag and its the same one you had in your room. "well what are you waiting for Idjiots. Better leave before I change my mind"

Sam who was holding onto your hand walks with you to your dad and you hug him. He pats your head "be safe alright."

"yes ill be safe and blah blah blah. As long as you promise me one thing?" he looks at you with a questionable look "alright what do I have to promise to"

"drink more water, try to be a bit more healthy. Trust me i will know if you don't" he rolls his eyes "alright. Now you boys better get going"

The three of you nod and say quick goodbye and you say a quiet "i love you" to your dad before getting into the car in the backseat as the two boys sit in the front and start driving off.

#river13245 #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #bobby singer #sam winchester x male reader #sam winchester x reader #fluff #male reader #platonic #supernatural fanfic #sam winchester fanfic #male!reader #y/n #sam winchester one shot

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nykuna · 5 months ago

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THE IRONY OF FATE

Chapter 2 : Prey.

pairing : Ryomen Sukuna x fem reader

cw : angst, mention of drugs and alcohol, slow burn, romance

summary : After a long night's work, you've met a man whose name you don't yet know, but the threads of fate seem to be drawing you together.

jjk alternate universe : no jujutsu sorcerers, everyone is human.

The music feels louder than ever, the bass seems to vibrate every organ in your body, the lights flicker and you feel your mind slowly getting intoxicated by the alcohol you've consumed.

Lily's not back yet, she's been gone for a while. Already intoxicated by the alcohol in your veins, you decide it's time to have some fun. You get up, pushing aside the stranger still sitting next to you whom you've been trying hard to ignore, and walk over to the rest of the group who are playing a game of poker it seems.

The table is covered with piles of bills and empty glasses. Around the table, about 5 people are concentrating, but you notice that their eyes are red and slightly hooded, now you wonder how they can bet such large sums of money while under the influence. The rich really do have funny ways of entertaining themselves, and you can't help but judge them silently.

Lost in your thoughts again, you feel a hand come to rest on your waist causing you to shiver in surprise, you hurriedly turn around to find out who it belongs to and stumble backwards in your panic.

"Careful, I know I'm hot but you could still try to keep your balance." Damn, that's a pretty voice. You look up to see who's addressing you. Your gaze is greeted by a piercing green stare. You continue to explore his face as you come to your senses and realize that he's probably a boxer too, given the scar that adorns his lips.

"Sorry, I think I might be a little drunk," you murmur. "But would you mind taking your hand away? As far as I remember, we've never met." You say, holding his gaze.

"I just wanted to get closer to the table to watch the game, I bet quite a bit of money on Naoya. But I have to admit, you're not too bad to look at after all." He says, stepping back. Everything about this man screams red flag, the way he talks, the way he grabs a perfect stranger by the waist or his visible interest in gambling. Yet you can’t deny that he’s extremely attractive. "Im Toji, what’s your name pretty drunk girl i’ve never met before ?" he smirks.

"O-oh sorry," you apologize, shifting away from the table to guarantee him a better view. "My name is-"

Before you can finish introducing yourself to the handsome stranger, the atmosphere that had become so light, becomes heavy and intoxicating again.

Unsurprisingly, you realize that the tattooed man from earlier is now standing next to Toji. How is it that the universe seems to collapse in on itself when he arrives in your space? His crimson red gaze sends a shiver down your spine, and he taps Toji on the shoulder, looking you straight in the eye and smiling sideways as always. Your drunken mind is playing tricks on you again, but you can't help thinking that, his expression mixed with heady music and reddish lights, he looks particularly charismatic, attractive yet disturbing, almost demonic.

"You really ignored me all night to go hit on that guy?" he raises his eyebrow and sits behind you.

"We can understand why, maybe she doesn't like tattoos too much, gotta admit you're scary dude." Toji retorts, still facing you.

They continue to spar but you couldn't care less. At this point, all you can think about is the fact that you're caught between two particularly attractive and imposing men, bickering for your attention. And to be honest, you don't mind in the least.

It's time for you to order a new drink, you can enjoy yourself freely tonight as you look forward to spending the day in bed tomorrow. Completely ignoring the two men, you jostle them to make your way to the stairs.

With every step you take, you realize that you should surely have eaten something before feasting. Each step requires unwavering concentration, and the music pounding in your ears doesn't help you in the least. When you reach the steps, you take a breath to prepare yourself to go down, which in your current state seems almost impossible.

Finally breathing, you open your eyes and look at what's going on downstairs, despite the time, everyone seems to be enjoying their evening, and that's one of the things you love the most about your job, even if it wasn't uncommon to serve jaded or depressed customers at the bar, the dancefloor was always filled with groups of friends laughing out loud, couples seducing each other tenderly in the dim lights, their eyes always brimming with joy, love or envy.

Contemplating the scene, you feel a hand rest on your shoulder, the warmth of that hand against your skin brings you unprecedented comfort, you don't even bother to look at who it belongs to and you feel a breath close to your ear.

"Look, I know I've behaved like shit tonight, but at least let me help you down, you're in no condition." His low voice sounds divine in your ears, you must really have been drunk, but the mix of the touch of his hand, his presence so close enveloping you in his bewitching perfume, his voice so deep and yet surprisingly soft... Fuck, you can't fantasize about a complete stranger, especially not this one.

"I guess I could use the help…What's your name? Might as well introduce ourselves since you can't go 5minutes without me" you straighten up and give him a playful smile. You don't have the strength to fight him anymore, besides, he's far too hot for that.

"Everyone calls me Sukuna, but you, lucky girl, can call me Ryomen" he leans over to put his arm under your shoulder and supports you to make sure you don't collapse down the stairs, his gestures surprisingly gentle and considerate.

"Even though you didn’t ask, my name is y/n" you smile gently.

With that, you've finally arrived downstairs, and you spot Lily sitting at the bar laughing out loud with Suguru, which warms your heart as they seem to be getting along really well.

Ryomen asks you what you'd like to drink as you approach the bar, but you grab him by the arm and pull him towards Lily and Satoru.

He raises an eyebrow at the sudden contact, given that you've been avoiding him all evening, but he's happy to oblige.

"Oh my gosh y/n you're just in time, I was just telling Toru that you made me a cocktail so strong one day that I had to run to the bathroom after just one sip!" Toru huh? The evening seemed fruitful for Lily, more so than for you, that's for sure.

"Fuck yeah, I remember! I've got to say, no one could drink that without flinching..." You laugh with her. "Do you like challenges?" You turn to Ryomen and Satoru with a hint of mischief in your eyes.

"You looked at us? Bring it on, baby." Ryomen says as she sits down next to Satoru and Lily.

You call Shoko with a wave of your hand, and when she arrives at your level, you ask her if you can go behind the bar to prepare your « drink ».

"Oh my God, you're going to do it again..." she sighs with a smile, then opens the door for you to pass through.

Determined to make them regret the bet, you get out shot glasses and start mixing all the strongest alcohols you have on hand. Your condition no doubt makes the drink even more undrinkable than before, but you couldn't care less this was your way of getting back at Ryomen.

10AM, you're woken by the sounds of Lily, who has somehow found the strength to get ready for school despite last night's hectic pace. As you get up, a terrible headache takes hold of you, and you start to regret having partied so hard yesterday, especially as you have no memory of what happened after the cursed shot.

The sun shines brightly through your window and you hasten to close the curtain to avoid aggravating the dull pain in your skull. You finally decide to go to the kitchen to take some medicine and lots and lots of water.

Lily is already in the kitchen preparing her lunch.

"Damn y/n, you really look like shit today!" she laughs happily, you shoo her away and hastily ask her what happened at the end of the night.

"Honestly, I have no memory of it either, I just know we took the horrible shots too, so no wonder we don't remember a thing!" She finishes wrapping up her meal "Toru texted me that he'd ordered us an uber so we could get home safely."

"What a gentleman, you'll have to tell me all about it when you get home tonight!" you chirp before greeting her as she heads for the entrance to exit.

After a hot shower and several liters of water, you decide to go back to bed and enjoy your day off.

One thing's for sure: your brain isn't resting. Your thoughts can't help but revolve around him, Ryomen.

Everything about him intrigues you; if only you'd had less to drink yesterday, you'd know more about him. Now all you can do is imagine. But you do remember that he seemed to be friends with Satoru... maybe he was a famous athlete as well? Without further ado, you grab your phone to look up his name and hopefully some information about him, knowing that you won't be able to sleep until your curiosity is satisfied anyway.

When you unlock your phone, a notification catches your eye: an unknown number has sent you a picture, and you click on the mysterious message with a bit of anxiety, considering it was very unusual.

The photo is a picture of you taking a mysterious shot with Shoko and Lily...That bad huh? You can't help smiling, you look really silly, but you send it to Shoko to have a laugh with her.

When it's done, you go back to the unknown conversation and write a message, because deep down, you knew very well that only one very specific person could send you an unflattering photo without even introducing themselves.

[y/n] : Let me guess…

No less than 30 seconds later, you get a reply.

[Unknown]: Were you waiting for my text ?

[y/n]: Not rlly tbh :// How did you get my number anyway?

[Unknown]: I honestly don't even know anymore.

[y/n]: Wtv, you can delete it, yesterday night was fun but don't expect more.

[Unknown] : Come on i know you were thinking abt me all day long.

Of course you did, but you couldn't let it go any further, you still weren't mentally ready to commit to a relationship of any kind. Besides, everything about Ryomen screamed danger, from his profession to his looks to his behavior, you'd had enough with men like him.

[Unknown] : Wanna come over ? :)

Straightforward, isn’t he ? You know you shouldn't answer, but despite yourself, you feel this sensation in the pit of your stomach, begging for more. After him, you'd never spoken to the same man for more than one evening, choosing to protect yourself from all the dangers that come with feelings and relationships.

[y/n] : hell no, i was drunk last night, i must’ve confused you for a good guy :) wtv gotta go.

[Unknown] : Ah well we’ll see abt that :)

The fuck does he mean "we’ll see about that?" He's upset you again, but maybe that's a good thing, maybe now you'll finally be able to enjoy your day without having your thoughts polluted by him.

Despite all the good will in the world, you can't help but save his contact, "just in case".

After this brief conversation, your unfortunate fears about your own mind proved legitimate.

Even though you only spoke for 5 minutes, and not to say much of anything interesting, this little game of seduction had already gone to your head. Sure, it's a dangerous game, but you can't lie, feeling "wanted" again was particularly pleasurable. You knew that if you got back in touch with him, someone would end up getting hurt, because it seemed like fate was mocking you and had a nasty tendency to ruin all your relationships.

It was a mistake, and a big one. You should never have drunk yesterday, or even accepted his advances. It was a mistake you were paying for today by reminiscing about all your past mistakes, as painful as they were. All this without even having engaged anything with Ryomen, so you can't imagine the catastrophe if you decided to ignore the curse hanging over your head and follow your instincts.

No, you should protect yourself, you have to protect yourself, you can't afford another tragedy, you don't have the shoulders for it.

If you run away, you’ll never know.

More updates on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/56234707/chapters/142859620

Nyc <3

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #human sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk fanfic #fanfiction

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eddiediazismyhusband · 5 months ago

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i really want a fic of eddie realising him and buck have been falling in love the entire time.

I keep seeing posts (and even had someone tell me) that it’d be unrealistic for Eddie to be in love with Buck and not realise. Like not even think of him as an option.

But that’s such a real queer person thing- i’ve lived that experience. I’m a women and despite all the times I admired other women it took forever for it to click for me.

I mean I grew up with accepting parents and kind friends and even queer people on tv. I remember looking at girls as much as I looked at boys. And yet I still had the reoccurring thought “I could be gay, I mean i’m not- but I could be. But most people aren’t gay and i’m most people”. (gay being used here in my head to mean “not straight”) AND YET despite it all I didn’t realise i was Bi until I was much older.

And even then, I’d had at least two long term crushes without realising they were crushes before it clicked.

(I kid you not- it took a drag queen talking to me like i was a toddler for it to click, but that’s a whole other story SO-)

Whether or not Eddie already knows he’s gay (or demi or whatever) doesn’t really make a difference, cause it’s that same sort of heteronormative internalising that causes these feeling to not be understood.

Especially for Eddies character who’s had this messy norm with Shannon for so long, a stable thing to grasp (even when their relationship was a mess) and then her death and him chasing to find that weak grasp to SOMETHING again- something that can be another excuse to not go looking for himself.

Like he’s internalised this behaviour of, “if i’m in a relationship, I don’t have to look deep and figure out why it’s not working” and never quite realising that maybe the reason it’s not working is cause he’s trying to replace something that was never really real.

(Speaking of, Eddie and Shannon are the epitome of loml by taylor swift. I mean- “we were just kids babe” “from one kiss to getting married” “something counterfeits dead” “what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye” “i’m combing through the band of lies- “i’ll never leave�� never mind”)

babe you are speaking to the POSTER CHILD of raised in a religious household and convinced themselves they weren’t queer until it was staring them in the face

the biggest issue is that most (again i said most before yall try to jump down my throat) of the people who are against buddie are either straight people who don’t understand the nuances of queerness, or queer people who didn’t grow up in environments of oppression and have never felt the need to hide themselves

i used to tell my parents i had crushes on girls only to later realize that it was because i just had a genuine platonic connection with them (two of whom are my best friends and are also queer women) and i used to get confused about what the difference between attraction and admiration was— something a LOT of queer people go through without realizing.

comphet is literally such a widespread phenomenon that people truly don’t realize just how common it is— like even queer people don’t realize they probably know several “straight” people who are still lying to themselves bc sexuality isn’t black and white— it exists on a spectrum. I’m not saying that to invalidate anyone’s straightness, im just saying i know multiple men who are my dads age (60s +) who only recently came to the realization that they were gay.

it’s genuinely so disappointing to see some of the people in this fandom pushing homophobic talking points from history just to disprove a character’s implied queerness bc they view that character’s queerness as a threat to their ship.

anyway, i agree eddie and shannon’s relationship is soooooo unconscious lavender marriage coded to me and there are SO MANY beautiful TS lyrics that apply to that… another song that i really feel like captures Eddie’s pov of the relationship is Home by One Direction… especially these lyrics:

#911 abc #911 #911 on abc #buck and eddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buddie 911 #queer eddie diaz #eddie diaz is a queer man

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venusandlotus · 6 months ago

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what i do find interesting do u think compatability is solely based on astro charts or just energies between us and them? bc i did a request from someone else for sannie whos my main bias and it made me a little sad bc we would be too complex as we are both water signs, so i got what they mean

yet with hongjoong itd be compatible in a less romantic sense and tbh im no that fussed abt romance lol. out of ateez i always get compatability with yeosang and mingi whom i both love as well obvi, but its literally always those two bahahahaha for skz i either seem to get lee know or hyunjin, how about yourself? who are you most compatible with?

Sometimes we have to dig deeper on charts like being water - water or fire - fire isnt always enough . There are many aspects called trine , sextile, square etc2 and u know what even if the chart has many compatible indicators between two people , one bad aspect in the chart can literally be the reason for hating eachother or smthing bizzare in the relationship. So i think energies from real life interaction is needed + we need to look at the chart too ( so we can avoid them if they have bad aspects) . I wont tell u to fully depend on the chart bcoz we never know how energies might play out in real life.

I just got to know ateez recently so i m mingling around😂 but seonghwa and yeonsang got my eye tbh seonghwa is so mysteriously beautiful he is like a sparkling black diamond in terms of visuals in my eye and yeonsang is soo cute omg🫶🏻😂 and he seems like a cute baby but sis his voice is - 🖤👺. I m sure my opinions will change too in near future bcoz even in skz i wasnt able to choose between bangchan and lee know and one tarot reader told me i will pair nicely with Han and when i started finding out more about han , i became more attracted to him 🥲 idk , these men are literally magic .. idk what they even eat or drink to be this seductive🥲

#skz #kpop games #han jisung #lee know #bang chan #thoughts #ateez

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honey-minded-hivemind · 5 months ago

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Teen isekai reader trying to explain why eating a tidepod is justifiable and that they only coughed up some bubbles while explaining why the goat simulator songs makes them sick. The platonic yanderes are just tired of this point " wtf even is your world..WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!-" just funny times lol

Okay! I'm going to say Isekaied Reader thought of eating the tidepod- then saw it burn through someone, and maybe saw that scene from Heathers (you know the one), amd decided, "f*ck no! Im dying of siemthing cooler than this!" And they proceeded to get in more odd, strange situations by accident, until they ended up in the X-Men Evolution reboot/au universe. Can you guess what might have landed them there? Because there are a lot of possibilities, so I'm not even sure. They could have tries to wrestle a gator, or steal a loaf of bread, or fallen down a flight of stairs, or happened to walk into a fr*cking portal or glowing rift. Who knows! But they're attracted to chaos, even if they aren't looking for it...

Oh... I think I know what their power is now... (laughs evilly amd pets two cats, one of whom bites my hand)

#honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere marvel #yandere platonic marvel #platonic yandere xmen #yandere x-men #platonic yandere marvel x reader #platonic yandere xmen evolution #platonic yandere xmen evolution au #💿back from the future au

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fluffyzoey · 7 months ago

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linda is a lesbian and i can PROVE IT

We know about the abuse Linda had to endure, with her father always belittling and insulting her and never actually caring about her. He doesn't take her seriously, doesn't listen to her, doesn't bond with her.

Linda grew up just wanting her father to love her, which reflects in her deep desire to be "adored" she develops in later stages of her life after (probably subconsciously) realizing that her father was never going to be the one she wished for him to be, the one she needed him to be.

She continuously cheats on her husband (who *surprise surprise* doesn't seem to be enough for her), going so far as to get pregnant by two other men, which was confirmed by Wilbur Cross in Black Friday. Heck, she becomes the leader of a cult dedicated to an ancient, dark god, only because of her desire to be acknowledged, to be loved. She kills a man and is ready to doom humanity as long as she's adored.

But she never quite finds what she's searching for.

Her marriage with Gerald, her affairs, even the cult aren't enough. Or rather, they're not what she actually wants or needs.

Maybe Linda Monroe has never felt loved or loved enough by her husband and affairs because her relationships with them are only desperate attempts to recreate something she thinks she can never have.

Maybe Linda Monroe thinks that if she just wins enough pageants, satisfies enough men, has enough money, sails on enough boats and impresses enough people, she'll be fulfilled without ever actually having to acknowledge that she is a lesbian.

That she is not who every woman in Hatchetfield wants to be and whom every man in Hatchetfield wants to be with. But that she is a disappointment to her family and that she is disgusting, a mistake, a reject, unfit to be a mother, unable to be loved by her father. That it is her own fault he didn't love her.

Think about it. Linda's dad, the old capitalist guy who rewarded his underage grandson for reading a Playboy magazine with money. I mean, this guy's the cliché bigoted uncle at any family party. He's not gonna be happy about his kids of grandkids being gay.

When Linda was young, she couldn't even realize her weird feelings for girls because she was always taught it was wrong.

So, raised without love and any kind of example of a healthy relationship in her life, she becomes the Linda Monroe we all know today - unfulfilled, dissatisfied, unhappy. A typical 'mean girl' who brings other people, especially women, down because if she doesn't get to be happy, why should anyone else?

And without wanting to romanticize the canon relationship between them in the slightest, I also believe this explains her relationship with Becky Barnes. The nurse that everyone loves and everyone is kind to without her having to bribe or threaten them.

I believe Linda has feelings for her.

Linda revels in knowing Becky has suffered through abuse because she not only thinks that she deserves happiness more than Becky does, more than anyone does, but believes (or rather wants to believe) that it's Becky's fault she's attracted to her, a woman, that it's Becky's fault she's in love with her, a woman, and that it's Becky's fault her true self is not who she desperately wants it to be.

Whether she would actually date Becky in another life or just chose her as the first best scapegoat is up to each individual viewer to interpret.

Really, it's an "I hate you for making me feel things" situation but it's not a silly, endearing text from your partner but what Linda sobs in front of the bathroom mirror at 2am with shards of glass from a broken bottle of wine on the floor and mascara running down her face while thinking about Becky Barnes because she will never be happy, she will never be enough and she will never be herself.

OOOOUGH YOUVE DONE IT AGAIN

MY HEART

MY LITTLE HEART

im sobbing shes so, hsessss

i never even liked linda that much until meeting you and now she justt. It meansSSS a lot OKOK.

so me </3

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alittlebitofloveliness · 2 months ago

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Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m bisexual or if I’m a lesbian. I like the idea of a man, but when I’ve tried to peruse them OR like them. I feel awful?? Last year I thought I had a crush on a boy, but after he held my hand I had a full breakdown. I felt like I was going to be trapped forever to him. Or that I have to end up marrying him or something which sounds silly, all he did was hold my hand. But I ended up crying in the middle of the grocery store afterwards. Like I saw my whole life flash before me.

I know I have an interest in girls, because girls are very pretty. I love just about everything about them, but also I find it hard to vocalize that. My family is very accepting but I wouldn’t say there gonna be waving any flags soon. I don’t know I feel awkward most days. No one is FORCING me to like boys, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I like them as much as I like girls. But I can’t tell if it’s natural or if it’s because I feel like I have to like them.I don’t know maybe I’m just weird.

Do you know any outsider character who would go through this? Whether it’s in the canon timeline or like the genderbend one? Maybe they can help me.

Holy shit I feel like past me just sent me an ask wanting advice from current me.

Anon, let me tell you a little story. I've been a romantic all my life. First year of uni I met a dude who was the first guy to ever truly express interest in me. We went on a few dates, he gave me a chaste kiss, everyone in my friend group thought we were sooooo cute together.

I liked it for maybe 2 days. Then this horrible, gut wrenching PANIC started welling in my gut. He was and still is a very sweet, very gentle man. I wasn't scared OF him, but scared of being WITH him. The only way I can describe it is pure revulsion. I didn't want him near me. I didn't wanna touch him. And we weren't even official. All this happened in the span of like. two weeks. But it felt wrong. So wrong. As soon as I told him we were better off as friends it was like this huge weight lifted off of me.

Sometimes I see guys and I think they're cute. Sometimes I think they're attractive. Every time I go on a date with one or one flirts with me that same wave of revulsion rears it's ugly head, usually within 24 hours.

I haven't experienced the same with women, but I'm also stupid and didn't realize the one date I went on with a woman was actually a date (rip) and then she ghosted me (fair). I'm fully aware that it's possible that when being faced with dating a woman I might feel exactly the same way, in which case I'm going to have to really consider I might be aromantic as well as asexual. Now, I don't know if this applies to you too but it might. I have never and will never desire anyone sexually, full stop, but right now I think I might never want to date anyone either. And I'm okay with that. I haven't fully ruled girls out yet. Maybe Ill find a woman and start dating her and it'll be perfect (i think it's worth saying Im more consistently and strongly attracted to women than I ever have been to men.) maybe I won't. Maybe the feelings I've had in the past for men have been comphet rather than genuine attraction. I also don't know. That's ok. You also don't need to know, anon. It's really ok. Attraction in all ways is so fucking weird. Its hard to figure out.

As for outsiders characters: I think my aroace queen Evie felt a lot of the same feelings as you before she figured herself out, but she's happy with her best friend Steve and her family whom she's very close to. She watches relationships around her crumble and feels like she kind of lucked out not feeling any feelings of romance

Sylvia, my lesbian queen, spent a lot of time wondering if she was actually into men before she realised she just felt like she should.

Susie Mathews wondered if she was a lesbian for a while before she realized she genuinely does like men too, just has a preference for women.

#the outsiders #evie the outsiders #sylvia the outsiders #sylvia devares #susie mathews

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schizowitchic · 8 months ago

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re: the last post i reblogged i am now going to rant about biphobia i have experienced and am experiencing! yay /s

(under a cut bc this got way too long)

so in secondary school i was in a friend group full of queer people, majority of whom were bisexual girls (at the time. a couple are now nonbinary / asexual) . and they were very big on the whole "bisexual culture is liking every woman and 2 men" thing, a lot of "ew men" jokes, and all in all general "liking women is better than liking men" "why am i dating a gross icky man i should be with a woman".

now i am more attracted to men than women, not by much, its typically fairly equal, but i definitely have a leaning towards men. and i repressed that for AGES. because it simply was "frowned upon", so to speak, from almost everyone i was close with

(for further context for the rest of this. i am not out as genderfluid. i use she/her pronouns irl and ppl know me as a cis woman. i am not really out as aromantic, when i identified as aroace i did tell a few people but i think they either completely ignored me or forgot. lol.)

nowadays, i tell my friends i am bisexual. one in particular always seems to forget, constantly calling me gay/lesbian, assuming i have no opinion or that my opinion will be "ew no" when she asks if i find a man she likes hot. (she has told me so many times "why am i asking you this you don't even like men". i have told her i am bisexual several times) (she also thinks it's funny to call me & another friend "f-slurs" . she says that not the actual word but still. i have to find it funny bc she gets so defensive if we imply she's homophobic)

(i do call myself gay bc i consider none of my attraction ever to be straight. i have no major issues with being called a lesbian apart from the fact that. yknow. im not a lesbian and have never identified as such)

i made a post a while back saying something like "help im being biseuxal erasured". because i am!! i am stuck in yet another situation with people who are either mainly attracted to women/only attracted to women/don't often talk about their attraction to me & also two cishet girls who are attracted to men in a very different way than i am (one of whom erases the fact i am attracted to men and the other who i don't like and probably assumes i'm a lesbian bc of how often everyone else says that)

also full of "ew men" jokes!!. might i add.

i literally have no space to talk about the way i experience attraction, i have to water it down and pretend i only like women, pretend i am interested in romance, pretend i feel attraction when the occasioanll bout of extreme sex-repulsion hits, take (albeit censored) homophobic slurs, sex jokes about me & another female friend that are getting uncomfortable.

and pretend like the main perpretatror of this isn't being at all queerphobic. (she also has massive racism and antisemitism issues. although my friend did throw basically a whole book at her face when she made a really bad joke). to the point where i no longer consider her a friend but i can't say that bc then im overreacting and i'll get the same bullying ostracisation treatment & my friends are still gonna hang out w her so i can't avoid it

people wonder why i am aplatonic when throughout friendships i have experienced: making fun of me to my face & behind my back, bullying, homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, ableism .

like what the fuck. im sick and fucking tired of having nowhere safe to express my sexuality bc let's be real, the internet often isn't the best space.

ive made my peace with either having to compromise my aromanticism or my allosexuality irl (ie either be out as bisexual or out as aroace) but apparently i can't even freely be bisexual without people making assumptions and at this point im just waiting it out until i can hit restart and try make new friends

#biphobia #homophobia #long post #aphobia #queerphobia #bisexual #im aware some of my wording may be misinterpreted . im struggling to explain this #as you may be able to tell from the longwindedness #having friends is exhausting and stressful #aplatonic #aromantic #personal #rant #nyxie be quiet challenge

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nahalism · 1 year ago

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You re getting very long questions &i apologize but i don’t think i can make this one short. Different anon i hope it’s okay to tag along. If i am not wrong here a lot of evolutionary psychologist among others go to the nature argument and state that homosexual orientation as we observe in some humans [so a persistent attraction to the same sex, as opposed to a situational one (for example when a partner from the opposite sex-to whom we are fundamentally attracted to-is not available to them so they ”compensate”)] is unnatural and should be corrected or at the very least accepted like any other mental issue but not normalized, treated as a sexuality disorder (because our purpose is to survive and procreate so everything that leads us away from it is a deviation from whats natural, normal and beneficial in this take, that it’s a dis-order and an undesirable state. That plus the argument that ”problems” with sexuality usually go hand in hand with other disorders and mental problems) the argument i saw is that there are cases of homosexual acts in animal kingdom but apparently it’s mostly either accidental, caused by inability to find a partner of opposite sex or if it does happen to be a persistent purely homosexual attraction then the animal gets somehow rejected (like in monkeys) just like they would for any other deviation from the norm. We can observe that they exclude or even ridicule in their own ways individuals that are ”different”, sometimes in rather cruel ways. So i guess that would make some straight people’s disgust and rejection of homosexual people valid and natural in that scenario?

Just to clarify i am not speaking of or from my own views&mind here & onley chiming in to mention something i have personally heard from professionals, something that has been a big block on the road of my own acceptance of my orientation and sth that irks me if i try to look to animal kingdom for answers/guidance and rely on nature arguments too much because they caused me to feel like a malfunction of it rather than part of it. I’d be most interested to hear what you think. I send well wishes

heyyy, disclaimer, im no authority on what is right and wrong. i dont know what the creators intentions are, i can only speak on my own feelings and convictions (all of which are constantly evolving and changing based on what i learn and come to know)

i have heard similar theories, and other theories that differ in their line of argument but lead to the same conclusion. id be lying if i said some of them didnt have a convincing edge/haven't caused me to question the validity of my own sexual orientation. but ultimately, i live life based on my own convictions and beliefs. you can only fight theories with theories, and im not about to formulate a theory to justify myself because i dont want to have to convince anyone of my right to exist as i am. however, what i do have are my feelings and my experiences. ive loved women, ive loved men, ive loved agender/nonbinary folks, and ultimately it all comes down to the same thing. loving another human being — i can tell you now, the love i felt in those moments, was and is incredibly pure. i have no doubt that god, or whatever you wish to refer to it as (if you refer to it at all), approved. and for me personally speaking that enough.

now.. this is controversial but id be lying if i didnt speak on it.. i do think there is a balancing of poles that occurs when a man and woman are together. something, energetically shifts with the joining of two opposing halves and i believe procreation is merely a metaphor/physical symbol for the creative possibilities that come as a consequence of that merging. i think when two opposite individuals learn to harness their receptive and assertive energies and balance those energies both within themselves and as a pair, a specific energetic portal is opened. other souls (aka babies) can come through that portal, however, so can so much more. (a topic for another time). that being said!!! i also dont believe the main purpose of life for both humans and animals is procreation.

the idea we all just come here to make babies and go is very anachronistic, and even more so with the current overpopulation of humans in the world (7.888 billion -__-). if we were all here simply to procreate, i think we'd have completed that mission and returned to source by now, no? perhaps, we are all here as different expressions of the same energy, gathering intel and experience that with the expression of each life, collectively encourages the evolution of our collective consciousness, thus progressing humanity, the beings we share the earth with, and the cosmos at large, forward — perhaps we are helping the universe learn and understand itself, or perhaps the universe is using us to teach one another its own nature, and the true face of love. thus, the love i have for you, for a dog, for my partner, for my mother, for a random pig etc, all compiles into a 'data bank/record' that creates a feedback loop, and each time i love well, or each time i lack love completely, the universal energy learns, we learn, we self correct, and we come closer to unity, closer to oneness, closer to love. unfortunately, contrast and conflict creates greater evolution and need for evolution that homogeny does. without superficial differences would we recognise the depth of our fundamental similarity? without pain/discomfort, would we wholly grasp the joy of experiencing pleasure/comfort?

anyway, to wrap it up, i believe that we all come here with different missions, and maybe for some, their mission is to practice that balancing of halves, and as such experience a hetrosexual relationship. however, for others, their mission may be something else entirely. it may be learning to love and meld with a reflection of their own energy, it may be teaching people that love can take multiple forms, and that the true definition of love is to take another person as a part of yourself and love them, unconditionally, without prejudice, regardless of who they love, or how different they are to the 'norm'. if my theory that the joining of any two individuals creates a form of energy exponentially larger than their physical form in realms invisible to the eye, that still stands for queer couples. fine, the energy may not take the same form in the sense that a child cant be born from it, but that doesnt mean its any less valid, any less important, or any less magnificent in its capacity for what it is able to create.

humans are full of theories and ultimately we as people have to live in our truths and trust in our own intuition before giving credence to the opinions and theories of other people, because after all, they are just people. they are no different to us, and nor are they exempt from being infalliable. be your self and love who you love proudly because loving in a world like this is never something to be ashamed of.

sending u love and well wishes <3

#ask

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bladedraz9r · 28 days ago

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i wouldn't classify this as it has a stance like the incel mentality entirely.

he's got a point, from my understanding (english is not my mother tongue)

"because society's view at sexless, or undesirable, men results in them exploiting women to gain this social acceptance"

i think you're all focusing too much on the ''''more extreme''' (in quotations) on the idea of shaming people of having sex before marriage.

im not shaming anyone, but in my personal opinion, anticipating through a long time to have sex with a certain person reduces the development of high risk behaviour and trauma.

unfortunately i think as a society living amongst humanity, we have to completely reset earth and build an entire society from scratch, with new societal norms.

since sex has been ingrained in our brains very early on, which some people only find to only produce oxytocins, when feeling desire or touch in a sexual way validation.

safety is needed in relationships and marriages but i think, as Adam also states, that when the two parts rely too much on getting this bond through sex, or if it's the sole purpose built on the relationship, it is doomed to fail.

which will impact both women and men, minimize confidence in social settings with which gender or individual are attracted to whom she or he is attracted to.

the date gr4pe$ asepect is also something that i find very important in the nuanced conversation, no one should blame the entity of a single part in sexual relations. but i think it's fair to say that social immaturity, generational gr*pe, and societal pressure is a big factor in creating gr🍇*sts.. which often comes from the human generations down to the core of focusing on sex too much.

Adam Lanza’s very normal response to a question about virginity on SBB forum.

#adam lanza #nikolas cruz #tcc #true cringe community #teeceecee #tccblr #adamlanza #mass shooters #tc community #tcc tumblr #sandy hook #sandy hook shooting

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kal-lyp-so · 2 years ago

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give up give upn't??

youtube

so basically I found out that 강아지 is in a new relationship and how I found that out was one the situations I wish to never encounter ever again.

so basically me and the girl were like walking and talking then I somewhat saw him holding hands with one of the buddy of our team as well. I mean my heart really shattered but we all know how bad I am with really feeling things and awkward I can get, so the heart broken stuff only lasted for that night but i don't ever want to feel that again. yes it wasn't painful but I don't ever want to remember the even the slightest heartbreak(???) feels like.

I was very overwhelmed that night but what can I do?? I remember trying to cry but the tears just won't come out and I cant really force it.

out of all honesty my heart was very heavy because I never felt so stupid for liking him and thinking how I can have a chance with boys when in fact I know I can pull even better and they're no match for me. but still there's just this type of feeling where I cant feel like I am lovable enough. but still far better for anyone. lmao

but yea I did try so hard to cry because I know the only way to get rid of the heavy heart I gotta pour everything out.

but I cant actually feel that deep or to that extend to cry. I don't care. as much as it hurts I don't care anymore like how I used to care when I was 17. I am tired. of thinking and also feeling about love, men, partners, relationship stuff like that.

giving up isn't me giving up and rejecting it. but more like not gonna pretend itll happen in the near future and I won't try to be with anyone.

unless they tell me they like me im never going to take any hint even if their dropping it like bombs.

should I flirt back? I don't know honestly I don't want because at the end of the day they wont work with me. how do I know? oh trust me they're not the first.

out of all the people I flirt with, I think only two of them actually liked me and they were literally my exes.

after them I never really date anyone maybe people just don't find me lovable or maybe they're just not into me which is normal and totally fine.

I just really want to meet a guy whom I find very attractive look wise and personality wise.

okay that is all for tonight lets see if I can write tomorrow

-kalypso

#Youtube

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elvesofnoldor · 6 years ago

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#lmao i havent been able to get on for like half of a month or some shit....#also after today im not gonna be able to log on for like another two months or some shit #yolanda talks #i forget i could get on this weekend and i was rly planning on posting finished gif sets of video games and shit next time (now) i logged on #yeah i dont have those ready lol #i JUST finished playing oxenfree and also tales from the borderlands (which btw is better than i expected)#but i was just gonna gif oxenfree and a bunch of other games...still havent finished LIS s1 cause it drains phone battery too quick #but im gonna soon and im gonna gif that too #along with like. 20 other games #im still on my dragon age bullshit. specifically *still like dorian pavus the most for some reason* bullshit #developed some fics and one original story that my dumbass wanna turn into a graphic novel (dont ask) i got in mind. thought abt the future.#say goodbye to doriansider rp....i cant believe i tried to ship dorian with a stupid timid twink whos the biggest bottom ever #also that outsider rp whom i thought of as my friend before (not anymore baby) rly sucks at characterizing their outsider #gay and trans outsider is such a good concept. and this bitch ruined it for me.#now the outsider is some timid little twink who likes to play maid and housewife. i stomached that shit for months. wow #wasted months of time on this. i convinced myself i liked this at one point. stupid.#had two dysphoric crises. really dont wanna have any of those again. i dont know why my brain refuses to let me be lesbian in peace #my brain: i know how u feel abt this fictional man. that felt a bit real there. dont u think???#me: but im not attracted to real men and i dont wanna be with them ever #my brain: idk i cant read #me: im a lesbian. dysphoric and probably butch. but a lesbian. my brain: r u sure u r not a man and also love men #i just gotta start doing stuff instead of thinking stuff. i like to do too much thinking. its hurting my brain #idk how many mutuals unfollow me these days. but i just wanna say im glad i missed whatever drama recent game of throne episodes brought #i dont have to log on tumblr to know theres drama #american gods s2 is disappointing as shit but...killing eve is doing GREAT. i just caught up #yeah thats abt all the junk i wanna say

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delphispoeticals · 3 years ago

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EN GARDE

benedict bridgerton x fem!reader

warnings: regency courting etiquette, gender roles/sexism, use of ‘lady’ and ‘she/her’ and ‘woman’, flirting, benny being absolutely in love with you, improper smooching, few innuendos, a smidge of heavy petting.

word count: 5.6k

blurb: where you care too much about what your mother thinks, much to your siblings dismay, it almost guides all of your decisions. but when you rely on what you want... you find it to be rather rewarding — starting with a simple game of fencing. En Garde.

a/n: i’ve written so many drafts, but i think im really gonna post this one lol. i haven’t written goodies about men in a WHILE so forgive me if it’s bad you guys :((

“Mama is going to have more than a word with you when she finds out about this, Antoine.”

“Wouldn’t you rather participate in an activity you’re actually good at, than just… Promenading around the yard?” He scoffed, using an overdone posh accent.

The mama you shared was very particular when it came to the season of your debut. You happened to be the first daughter of the Sinclair Household, out of two, to debut into society. Which meant, all eyes were on you – technically. Coming from a well-renowned family, many people held many expectations for you. And, the Ton couldn’t wait to deliberate about someone who slightly strayed from tradition and normalcy. That could easily dampen the reputation your family built through years of networking.

It should also be mentioned that your father is the ultimate source for how the Ton perceives you – he’s a Marquess, anointed by the Queen. So, maybe it wasn’t only high society you had to look out for.

It was the lovely lady who governed, her grace.

Which makes this rendezvous, with your favorite suitor, all the more complicated. Antoine was very adamant about ensuring your happiness. As your brother, that was his job – so he claims. Antoine, is a very generous elder brother – honestly, better than most. Better than his own friends who happened to share the title. The season had only begun a month ago, but he’d noticed that you hadn’t caught the eyes of anyone in particular. Your family was high enough in society to at least attempt a love match – he knew you deserved that much.

So, he examined the pool of eligible men around him. Choosing to ignore their overbearing sexual history, since he himself was questionable in that department. His character was separate from his reputation with women – which wasn’t that thick of a book, by the way. Antoine was a good man who just so happened to love the company of beautiful women. He was simply a product of what society enabled – and there were more like him.

He didn’t want to be biased, so he began with Mr. Lumley. He was an attractive young man whose record was clear. Mr. Lumley had already called for you, offering you flowers and such. But, you weren’t completely sold. You accompanied him to a ball hosted by the Abernathy’s, but no flutters were felt. And, you were determined to feel those flutters.

Next, he jumped to his closest friends – the Bridgerton’s. Whom of which you met on plenty of occasions. Antoine didn’t care to consider the Viscount, being that he was familiar with how he desired his future. His first consideration was Colin. He was kind and harbored that love for adventure that you did. However, he notice a subtle glance he gave to Penelope Featherington and decided not to tread on that territory. Finally, the artist of the family, Benedict. Antoine had noticed the two of you got on nicely – more than nicely. That’s when he began to plant his seeds of love – he calls it.

When your brother found a trashed sketch of your face… He knew his meddling worked.

Antoine is more than positive he’d helped you find your match. So it didn’t matter what your mama thought, or even the Ton. He was a genius.

In a little over forty-eight hours, Lady Bridgerton is planning to host a ball at Aubrey Hall. You were invited as a noble guest, being that you were being courted by her second eldest. And, there you were standing walking down the backyard steps of the manor with your brother – complaining. He had proposed a date to your potential lover. A date that isn’t very ladylike of you to participate in – even if you were fantastic at the art of it. Your mother had come a day later than the two of you, and she’ll be in Kent sometime this day. If she saw you…

“This isn’t an activity for a future wife, Antoine.” You may have been quoting your mother, but her words often rang true. And, even if it wasn’t it’s not like you had the reigns, as a woman, to tempt fate. Spinster age was around the corner.

Fencing. What a lovely sport. If only you could proudly proclaim your love for it.

You were wearing the same beige frock you wore when playing with your siblings. It had long billowing sleeves, but the bodice was still firm to your bust. Stylishly laced at its edges. “Since when did you care what future wives did?” He grumbled, dressed in his white fencing attire, holding both of your swords. “You knew Benedict before your debut-”

“And he wasn’t interested until my debut!”

“That changes nothing, y/n. If he didn’t like you we wouldn’t be here now. And, we most certainly wouldn’t be walking across a field to go fencing behind bush-lining.”

A nervous sigh fell from your lips, as you waddled across the grass. The pair of you were meeting Benedict and his brothers a little ways from the back of Aubrey Hall. “The one thing you can trust is my word, sister. I would never steer you wrong.” He patted your shoulder, sliding his arm along them to pull you closer.

The sun was blinding your eyes as you approached the shaded area, fortunately, shaded. One of your arms slides around the middle of his back, leaning on him to gather your strength. You’ve never been the type to be insecure – maybe this season was messing with you. Not once have you ever been hesitant to show off your skills. The stress of being a debutante, even while officially courting, was changing you. Was this the path to becoming a woman – watering down your passions, or feeling bad if you didn’t?

Smile.

“Lord and Lady Sinclair,” Anthony spoke, bowing his head shallowly, while the pair of you approached. The two other brothers do the same.

“Anthony,” Antoine boyishly grinned.

“Viscount Bridgerton,” You disconnected from your brother to dip coyly. “Mr. Bridgerton… Mr. Bridgerton.” Your eyes flickered from Colin to Benedict – the artist that held your heart between his hands. Antoine joked about with the boys, patting their shoulders playfully.

Benedict leaned down to speak lowly near your ear. “How come you didn’t tell me you knew the art of fencing?” He raised an eyebrow. The sensation of his warm breath on the side of your neck and the shell of your earlobe. A dry giggle left your lips, looking up at the tallest brother. In truth, it was because of your mother’s nagging voice in your head. But, you couldn’t share that. Of course, not.

“It simply never came up – slipped my mind, forgive me.”

“No need to ask for forgiveness…” Benedict leaned closer to your ear once more. “I already knew. You can thank your brother for that.”

In response, exhaled forcefully, glaring at the back of Antoine’s head. Thanks a lot, now I look like a liar. Rolled your eyes, stalking towards him with a bit more ferocity than you walked in with. Anthony nodded his head in your direction, causing him to turn around with an absent mind – looking directly above your head. “Antoine!” You sharply called. He immediately looked down, meeting your height. “Are we fencing or not – we do not have all day.” You pull the fencing sword from his hand, turning on your heels.

“Ah, my bad, sister. We shall begin… Benedict.” Antoine looked at the man standing back behind you, a smirk curling on his lips. He prepared to step forth, but you held your hand out. Your palm hovering over his chest.

“No, not yet. Antoine…” You pointed with your dulled sword. “You first.” Benedict’s eyes never leave your frame, watching as you command his attention. He takes a few steps back, wandering to sit on the bench along with the other Bridgertons.

Antoine inhales, hanging his head briefly with a mischievous smirk. “Ah… There’s the y/n I like to see.”

“En Garde, brother.”

You place your non-dominant hand on your hip, using the other towards your opponent. Your eyes were carefully trained on Antoine, squinting intimidatingly, positioning your feet. He readies, doing just the same. Your brother and you had been in this position plenty of times, and often they ended with him laying in the grass. Rarely ever you. “Antoine, remember, this is your sister – she is a lady. Take it easy on her.” Anthony teasingly called, glancing over towards you.

A scoff fell from your lips as you lunged toward your brother, colliding his sword with yours. “Save the insults for when you’re on the end of my sword, Lord Bridgerton.” Antoine lunged toward you, but you jumped back avoiding the contact of the dull sword. You hummed, cockily swinging your weapon. The sound of the swords clashing filled the space, with little grunts from the both of you. Antoine managed to get two taps against your waist, and you managed to get one on his. However, as per, he ended up kissing the grass.

You laughed in victory, bowing to the small audience. “Who’s next?”

Minutes flew by as you tackled both Anthony and Colin Bridgerton – successfully knocking them to the ground. You actually had to go against the eldest brother thrice before he completely gave up. Which only earned giggles from Benedict as he lounged on the bench.

“Do not laugh yet, brother. Laugh when you prevail that storm of a woman – Lady y/n, I mean. My apologies.”

“Your mistake was purposeful, Lord Bridgerton.”

You responded, as your eyes followed Benedict as he positioned in front of you – sword in hand. A competitive twinkle glimmered in his blue eyes as he straightened his posture. “I do apologize for my brother’s — they’re not known for challenging their opponents.”

“Lies! Lies, you tell!” Colin exclaimed, pointing at the artist.

With a chuckle, you circled that vertically gifted man. “And… You are?” You raised a single eyebrow, hitting his sword with your own. The trace of a smile being left on your lips, batting your eyelashes at him. “A gentleman shall never go back on his word. Are you going to challenge me, Mr. Bridgerton?”

“Only if you wish, my love.”

A beat.

Your eyes widened, lips parting in awe. But, easily your eyebrows deepened in determination. He was playing dirty. Using his sparkling eyes and boyish smirk to dismantle your throne. “Charm — a devilish trick. Don’t let his advances disturb you, y/n.” Antoine supported, leaning on his knees intently.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Benedict lunged, but you dodged. Your eyes were glued to his eyes. Honestly, if your families weren’t near — you’d probably toss the dull weapons to the side and pounce on the man. Benedict didn’t have to speak to charm you. A simple glance was all you needed. “Ouch.” He placed a hand on his chest, feigning pain. “I would hope that my charm disturbs you a little.”

You raise your eyebrows, tapping your swords again. “Disturbs me or flatters me?”

“Perhaps, both.” He pauses, as you lunge toward him. Barely grazing his arm with the thin blade. You curse under your breath, biting the inside of your mouth. “To leave you utterly enamored is, in fact, a goal of mine.”

Hm. You hum, smiling with your bottom lip stuck between your teeth. Technically, he’s met that goal on many occasions — he just couldn’t know that for sure. “Is it, now? How’s that working out for you?” He lunges towards you, the sounds of your swords clashing multiple times. Your non-dominant hand gripped the skirts of your dress as you backed up into the treeline.

Benedict shrugs, backing up and gathering his breath. “Fairly well, I believe.”

“You think?”

“I know-“

His voice was cut off by the pinched tone of a stressed mama. You immediately freeze, pivoting and holding the sword behind your back. There she was stomping across the grass, with your younger sister following behind, begrudgingly. “Mama,” You fought a frown with a smile. Benedict had slowly walked behind you, taking the sword from your hands. Thankfully, you sent him a smile.

“Mama, you’ve arrived in Kent! Welcome.” Antoine tried, standing from the bench.

“Marchioness Sinclair, it is truly a pleasure,” Anthony spoke, elbowing his brother to speak. “Truly.” Colin co-signed, bowing his head.

Your mother was fuming, smoke was practically coming from her ears. “What is the meaning of this nonsense, y/n?” She questioned, deliberately. You adjusted how you stood, looking back at Antoine. He shrugs, trying to think of something on his feet that could save the both of you.

Then, he stepped forward — Benedict, not your brother. “I asked her to join my brothers and I for a round…” He glanced down at you. “Or two. I heard she was quite a force to be reckoned with when it came to fencing, and I was only curious.” His eyes gleamed whenever they were set on you, examining your uncomfortable stature.

She eased, sighing. Her scrutinizing eyes softened at the words of the young man. Even so, her presence spoke loudly for her. She was a Marchioness. “Is this true, y/n?”

“Yes! Absolutely!” You may have answered too quickly. “Mr. Bridgerton graciously thought to include me, based on mere hearsay… Very polite of him.” You nodded, sharing a tight-lipped smile with your mother. She crossed her arms over her satin bodice, squinting her eyes — glancing from you to Antoine.

“Hm. Very well.” A beat.

Her eyes landed on each party, suspiciously.

“I’ll be waiting to hear of your victories, y/n.” She turned around, gliding back towards the manor. Your sister hesitantly turns with her. She sent vibrant thumbs up, and a theatrical wink in her wake before then. Once she’d gotten to a legitimate distance, you groaned, stuffing your face in your hands.

Antoine shut his eyes tightly, pinching his nose. “Mama has perfect timing. Absolutely perfect.” You nodded, running your hands down your face.

“Absolutely perfect.” You mutter, allowing your arms to slap by your sides. Hesitantly, you turned towards Benedict, offering an energyless smile. “Thank you for stepping in…”

He nodded, holding his hands behind his back gallantly. “Oh, I would do it a thousand more times if needed. Of course, Lady y/n.” His eyes glanced around the area seeing the damper her mother’s arrival placed on the group. Anthony scratched the back of his head, whispering to Colin. “Why don’t we resume our game later? I can see that your mama’s interruption has compromised the mood.”

You chuckled, pushing a piece of your curls behind your ear. “Didn’t she… Yes, we may resume at a much later time. I might’ve worked up a bit of an appetite, to be honest.”

“Appetite, you say? I’m beyond famished!” Colin began stalking past everyone, heading towards the house. You suppressed a laugh, holding your fingers over your lips. Anthony and Antoine followed after him, nearly forgetting about both you and the artist.

Benedict offered his arm, sharing a charming smile. “How does cucumber sandwiches with classic English tea sound?”

“Splendid, of course!” You marveled, sliding your arm through his. Adoringly holding his gaze, as you approached the large manor behind the boys.

…

Julianne, your sister, sat in the room you shared flipping through the pages of the books Eloise lent her. “Ugh, can’t I have a love like Mr. Bingley and Jane…” She pouted, wiping fake tears from her cheeks. You snickered, taking the remaining pins from your hair, and placing them in the bowl on the vanity.

Turning in the plushy seat, you leaned on the back of the chair. A wistful expression adorning your face. Julianne shuts the book as she couldn’t help but feel the emotions leaking from your pores. “What happens to be on your mind, sister?” She adjusts herself on the bed, where she turns her feet to where the pillows are.

You shake your head, pursing your lips. “I’m not sure…”

“Ah, well, that’s believable.” She remarks, kicking her feet back and forth. “You’re not sure what’s on your mind.”

Abruptly, you stand from the chair, walking to the long window that serves a view of the grand backyard of the manor. “I am realizing, I think, that I am past merely liking Mr. Bridgerton.” You paused, blinking as you were slowly coming to terms with your unruly emotions. Sure, you’ve said before that he held your heart — but, he may really be holding your heart. Delicately, to add. He was a very gentle man. “I may be in love with him, Julianne.”

She gasped, holding her hands intertwined under her chin. “He’s your Mr. Bingley!” Julianne cheered, swinging her legs off the bed.

“Not literally. But, yes — if that makes me the prettiest Bennett sister, Jane.”

“You…” She narrows her eyes, before slightly glancing out the window. Then, her eyes widened tremendously, pointing quickly at the figure wandering in the dark. You were still looking at her harboring a teasing grin, but her attention elsewhere caught your eye. “Oh, Blast! Is that Mr. Bridgerton just there?”

He held a candle as light, but he slowly wandered the field and garden. Palming some of the bush fixtures. You gasp, pushing her to the side of the window, while you stumble to the other side — where you’re out of sight. “You must meet him down there.”

“I mustn’t! If mama catches me-“

“y/n, you are about to be a married woman — who cares what mama thinks, good God.”

You inhale, furrowing your eyebrows. The opinion of your mother has grown since your debut. Feeling as if you had to succumb to this unattainable role. Your sibling had more faith in your betrothal than you did — which was odd considering your situation. You pondered — should you really go down there? What were you going to say? “I will keep watch for you.” Julianne offered, with a spreading smile. “Just don’t do anything too scandalous.”

Smiling, you grabbed the thin blue robe that went over your white nightgown. “No promises,”

That was a jest. Total jest.

Grabbing a candlelight, you scurried down to the back. Managing to be as quiet as a mouse on your mild journey through the manors. Your eyes caught the sight of the back of his disheveled hair, slowly maneuvering around. Hesitantly, you stepped onto the low vibrant grass. Glancing over your shoulder for any prying eyes — praying your mother didn’t catch you in this position. You wanted to be married organically, when he asks your father for your hand.

When you’d gotten closer enough to him, you called his name. “Mr. Bridgerton,” You stated, holding out the candlelight. “It’s quite late, is it not?”

He slowly turned around, as if he was expecting you. A smile grew on his lips. “It is quite late… I just desired fresh air — nightly fresh air.”

“Ah, yes. Nightly fresh air — the best form of air on the market.”

He was wearing loose-fitting clothes, just as you were since it was after hours. His eyes donned your frame, examining the length of your hair and how different it was compared to your daily looks. The effortlessness of your beauty rendered him shocked — enamored. Perhaps, even disturbed. “Turn down your light.” He spoke.

Your eyebrows deepened, confused by his words. “Huh? It’s dark, Mr. Bridgerton.”

“Would you want to risk your mama seeing you and me unchaperoned… At night?”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you considered his words. That was the last thing you wanted. “Perhaps, not.” You took in a hefty breath, blowing out the candle with an innocent expression. Benedict chuckled, doing the same, then holding out his hand for you. The sound of your heart thumped in your ears, almost making you dizzy. And with a courageous inhale, you placed your hand in his.

He could take you anywhere and you wouldn’t dare complain. But, you couldn’t help but question.

A toothy smile graced your lips, his hand gripping yours bare. For the first time without some sort of glove. “Where are you taking me?” His long legs were no match for yours. Long strides quickly pulling you to wherever the destination may have been.

He looked over his shoulder. “Do we not have a round to finish?” Your lips gaped open, your other hand reaching toward his arm. Halting your steps, you pulled him to a stop. The grin on your lips was impossible to wipe off.

Breathily, you inhaled. “Did you plan this, Mr. Bridgerton?” The candlelight was being held by your pinky, aching from the weight. But, the contact of your hand against his firm arm was so comforting. He was so comforting.

“I did not, My Lady. However, I did wish to see you tonight.”

His wishes came true.

“And, I also wished for you not to be so formal with me. Please, call me Benedict.” His much larger hand, squeezed yours, pulling you closer to his tall frame. Your pointer finger tapped along his bicep, batting the long eyelashes your mother gave you — sincerely.

You grinned, with your bottom lip stuck under your teeth. Trying to resist the size, but it was impossible. His light eyes glistened with something that was unfamiliar to you, but you failed to fully catch it. All you noticed was that his gaze gave you a bodily reaction. Your chest and cheeks grew hot, where his hand met yours, a sensation tingling from the contact. “Only if you call me y/n and nothing else.”

Benedict chuckled, as your chests touched, looking down into your mind-controlling gaze. “And nothing else? So… My love happens to be off the table?” He raises his eyebrow, eyes glancing towards your lips.

“If it isn’t true. But if it is — call me that however many times you please.” Your eyes glanced toward his lips, but you stepped back, glancing in the direction he was taking you. “I believe you were taking me somewhere…”

His lips parted, but he quickly recovered. Nodding, and following through with his original plan — which was warping as time progressed. The pair of you had been attracted to each other since the moment you met. More so, Benedict than you. He just assumed that it would never happen, considering his closest friend was your brother. He didn’t expect Antoine to be so helpful to both of you.

But, now, his attraction to you has skyrocketed. From being around you so much, studying your face, spending long nights thinking about your face… And body. Benedict is nearly spent. While he wasn’t trying to rush, he genuinely wanted you. All he needed was a few minutes alone—

“Did you really set all this up… All for hopes?” You inquired, seeing all the swords poked into a holder and gloves for the sport set beside them.

“All for hopes… All for you. I mean a game is not finished until-“

“It is finished.” You mused, releasing his hand and approaching the weapons. With a giggle, you pulled the glove that was for your dominant hand on. Plucking the dull sword from the holder. “You are a thoughtful sort. I’ll say, you may have met your goal, Benedict.” You walked backward, watching as he gathered his gear. “Consider me utterly enamored.”

You were fluttering. It was the flutter.

He pulled his glove on, taking his sword and taking a few steps back. “As am I, my love. I only hope that doesn’t damper the competition.”

Benedict truly had you swooned. If you were willing to give in completely, the competition would be over. Or, at least you would've wanted it to have been over. You did have, unfortunately, one more man to defeat. “And risk my ultimate victory? Never!” You pointed your sword towards the man, smirking excitedly. Chest rising with anticipation. “En Garde, kind sir.”

He tapped your sword with his twice, before lunging. The game between the pair of you had gone on longer than it had with the others. Sparing longing glances, causing either one of you to stumble. The both of you attempted to dismantle one another with flirtation, but you deemed yourself to be much stronger than expected — the both of you. It surely was torture, though.

Then, all of a sudden, Benedict threw his sword to the ground. His chest heaving up and down — eyes stuck to you, unable to look away for even a second. You dropped your arm, letting it hit your hip still clenching your sword. The competitive sneer dropped from your lips, a look of expectation adorning your face. It seems he has reached his peak of keeping his distance from you.

“You’re an insufferable opponent…” He muttered, but it was already so quiet. Something in particular leaking from his words. You were so stunned that you could only stand there — in utter shock.

A breath flew from your lips. “Why’d you stop? You might’ve stolen my victory.”

“I wouldn’t ever want to steal your victory.” He approached you, resorting you to backing up. Choosing your steps carefully. Your hand rose, the corner of your lips curling weakly. He stopped advancing, holding his hands near his head. “Go on… Take me, y/n.”

Something in your gut told you his words had meant something else. His body language told you his words meant something else. Uncharted territory for you. The tip of your sword prodded at his abdomen. “I win.” You whisper, fluttering in places that have yet to be explored. He pushed the blade away with two fingers, resuming his approach. Remaining in your place, your arm drops, still holding the sword in your hand.

He had entered your space, his hand drifting down your clothed arm. Leading to the gloved hand that held the dull weapon. Your breath hitching in your throat. Benedict pulled the handle from your fingers, keeping his striking gaze on you. He tossed it to the side carelessly, then pulled the leather glove from your hand. “You win.” He whispered, aligning your hand with his.

This touch was different — more intimate than you ever experienced. It set your skin ablaze, it made you… It made you really want him. This feeling of want was different, nothing you’ve ever felt before. His other hand found solace at your waist, pulling you closer to him. You had no choice but to oblige, stumbling forward. “I must apologize,” He began, darting his eyes in an upside-down triangle. “y/n, I simply cannot contain myself anymore.”

Neither can I.

“You have convicted my soul. You have since the moment I laid eyes on you — that evening, only a year ago, where your brother introduced us.” Benedict enunciated, his thumb caressing your ribcage through your thin nightgown. You gasp, gripping the hand that was in yours. It couldn’t be true. Benedict Bridgerton pining after you before your debut. He was an adventurist – a rake, who also did art. You’ve heard whispers about him and his brothers… And your brother. How they wanted to push off marriage until they’ve made themselves useful, some more than others.

Were you being bamboozled? How on God’s green earth were you getting this close to this… Unattainable man. Convicted. You have convicted his soul – sounds like the words of a true poet.

“When Antoine and your father granted me the blessing in pursuing you wholly and completely…” He shook his head sincerely. “I have never felt so honored.” Wow. Your eyebrows furrowed, eyes watering – the experience seemed to be too real. And, he continues. “y/n, you have bewitched me. There has not been a day where you’ve been absent from my mind. Not a second.”

“Benedict,” You spoke, your tone in utter surprise. He was sharing more characteristics with Mr. Darcy than with Mr. Bingley. He must’ve been doing this on purpose, he has indulged in the works of Jane Austen nearly as much as you.

His hands caress up your arm, leaving your hand, finding comfort on your jaw. His thumb grazes your cheek lovingly. The artist struggles – tempted to just crash his lips against yours, but he couldn’t just yet. You blinked slow, wishing he’d lay himself upon you. It’s not like you could really formulate your words eloquently. You placed your hand on his elbow, leaning into his touch with need. It felt exhilarating to be touched by him – you wanted more. “Ben…” All you could do was repeat his name, dripping with unfathomed desire. You both breathed heavily, the sounds coming together as a union – nearly breathing each other’s air. His nose brushed yours, just before his lips plotted on the tip of it. A whine pulled from your throat in anticipation.

“y/n,” He spoke your name like a prayer, wistful – snagged from his diaphragm.

Slowly, he leaned down to her hovering his lips over yours. As if you’d done this before, your lips parted. The tip of your tongue grazing your bottom lip. You couldn’t help but hold your breath, breasts swelling from your loose bodice.

Pulling you flush to him by your waist, he finally and gently, places his lips upon yours. You release air from your nose, sliding your hand around his neck, your fingertips touching the shorter curls of his hair. Flutter. Flutter. Flutter! He kissed you with no matter of haste, he was savoring your touch. His hand remains in the divot of your waist, barely threatening to leave that spot.

Fireworks were exploding in the skies of your mind. Lips moving along with his, slowly drifting into a mode of passion. His grip intensified on your waist, wishing he could push you closer to him – as if you weren’t already touching. All it took was a hum to release between your lips for him to walk you back into a tree. When your back hit the bark, you yelped in surprise. Your attention is still completely on him, hands running through his dark shiny hair. Being overcome with impulse, you gripped his hair from the root – cousin a groan to erupt from his throat.

Benedict pulled back, the ends of his lips curling. “You… You are something.”

“Come here,” You party whine and demand, tugging him back to your lips.

He wouldn’t dare deny you, meeting your lips feverishly. His hands had grown to be more bold groping at your body. His intimate touch was beginning to make you heat up in nether places. Sounds erupting from your vocals that you have never heard in full. This would be quite the circumstance to be caught in – face-making with the man you are courting. Rather compromising.

But, it felt so good.

This is why it took a lot for you to pull away.

Breathing heavily, placing your hand on his chest – desperately wanting to tear the loose shirt from his body. “This… This is improper.” You heaved, a coy smile stretched on your lips. Benedict breathed just the same, his thumb wiping the corner of your lips adoringly.

“It is… But to hell with decorum.”

You laughed, caressing the back of his neck – wanting nothing more than to be entangled with him for all eternity. “Mind your tongue, Benedict.” You playfully scolded, looking up at him through your thick eyelashes. The softness of his untamed strands comforted you, subsiding – not erasing – your unbearable coil of desire.

“ I am minding my tongue…” He leaned forward, wanting to kiss you once more.

“We should get some sleep. I’m sure we are going to need as much energy as possible to bare my mother.” Your hand feels the strength of his throat, accidentally running over her adam’s apple as you descended. “And without sleep, that is impossible, my heart.” The man paused, both of his hands on either side of your face, lightly squishing your cheeks.

“My heart, is it?” Your face heated up, embarrassment flooding your hazy irises. You tried to flee his hands, but he wouldn’t let you. “I adore it. Just like I adore you… My love.”

His words and gaze make it impossible for you to leave. Your sister had to have been awaiting you or is asleep by now. She reminded you not to be too scandalous – whatever that meant. “I must go, despite how difficult you make it.” Your eyes jested, bashfully. Hands gripping his forearms lightly, urging him off – yet, not desiring his lack of touch. “You make it very difficult, might I add.”

“As do you, but you are right.” He slides his hands from your face, down to your shoulders. “I have to put this equipment away, and get a good night’s rest for-”

“My mother.”

“Yes, your mother – and whatever the day will bring.”

You look down to the grass, chuckling. Taking one of his hands in yours, you draw little hearts with your thumb on the back of his hand. “Then, I will leave you to it. Good night, Benedict.” A part of you was sad as if you weren’t going to see him in the morning for breakfast. The hours were too long – you wished you could stay beside him all night. He leans down, to kiss the back of your hand. Holding his lips against your skin, savoringly.

“Good night, y/n. I wish you heavenly dreams.”

You walk backward, slowly sliding your hand from his grasp. A beat passes, eye contact being the pair of yours’ main source of communication – so it seemed. “I love you, y/n Sinclair.”

Thump, thump, thump. A grin spreads on your lips, broad and silly, yet just as beautiful. “I love you, Benedict Bridgerton… Wholly and completely.”

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