#two half's of a whole idiot
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*responding to a call*
eddie: oh-
buck: are you chill with dying?? wait we aren't gonna kill you don't worry!
eddie: go, go and calm her down
buck: listen i gotta be honest, i didn't take my ADD meds today and reading is NOT my strong suit so reading those computer things, i, i, none of the information is being processed, he's the big brain, he'll take care of it, rest assured, he's an idiot but he can read well, i will make sure nothing bad-
woman trapped in a vending machine: oh my god my life is in the hands of an idiot!
buck: no no no no no no no, TWO idiots!
bobby: for god sake you two-
#911 abc#911 incorrect quotes#incorrect 911 quotes#911 eddie diaz#911 eddie#911 evan buck buckley#911 evan buckley#911 buck#evan buck buckley#eddie diaz#two half's of a whole idiot#unus annus mention#i miss unus annus still#i'm sorry but if you're trying to tell me buck wouldn't be ethan in this situation you're surely mistaken#911 bobby nash#911 captian bobby nash#bobby nash#captain bobby nash#118 fam
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New Teen Titans X Kim Possible — “Conner’s First Day”
Hehehe… an oldie but a goodie…
Check out the Kim Possible episode “Bad Boy”
For those who still want context but don’t want to watch the episode, Ron was trying REALLY hard to be a “bad boy” because he thought it would get him a date. It backfired horribly, but at least the end result was funny :D
#art#fan art#dc#dc comics#funny#teen titans#the new teen titans#Stephanie brown#spoiler#cassandra sandsmark#wonder girl#connor kent#superboy#fandom#conner your lex is showing#luckily his Clark is showing too#he’s two halfs of a whole idiot#and I love him
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Do fairies get married like humans do in this au, mainly asking cause a wanna know how the Cosmo/Wanda proposal went (if there even was one)
They get married the way Fairies do!! By becoming a bonded pair!!
Bonded Fairies are magically connected! Magic and food is shared between them and they can feel the distance between each other when apart! Bonded Fairies share half their soul with the other.
Bonding can be used for a multitude of reasons beyond romantics, such as platonic or medical. So long as two (or more!) fairies trust and love each other in a mutual form, it can be invoked. The longer the bond lasts, the more connected the fairies become!
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop cosmo#cosmo#fop wanda#wanda#asks#itty bitties fop au#BONDING!!!!#YUOR HONOR#TWO HALVES OF A WHOLE IDIOT#OUGHGGH#'share magic and food' <- this means that if cosmo eats something while wanda doesnt#half of the food he eats gets shared with her !!#bonding is very useful for a multitude of reasons#if there was any drawbacks to creating a bond. its that it feels like you've suddenly lost half of who you are!#thankfully fairies dont bond willy nilly. they take it very seriously. its the highest form of commitment to another!!!#its about abandoning selfishness for the sake of another!!!! to care and love another!!! to put their needs above your own!!!!
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Day 5 - caf since my scribbles can be totally illegible, here’s a transcript Obi-Wan: Here you go, Cody Cody: Oh, thanks, sir Cody: this... it’s caf? Obi-Wan: Ah, yes! I’ve noticed my teas are not really to your tastes, so I stocked up some caf for you instead! I hope it’s okay Cody: ... oh Cody: ...thank you.
#codywan#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#star wars#tcw#starwarstober23#little comic#I absolutely love the trope of them doing flimsiwork together and drinkin tea and caf#and Cody doesn't really like the teas Obi-Wan gives him but drinks them anyway because no one has EVER offered him something like that#and he'd rather jump out of an airlock than hurt Obi-Wan's feelings#so he sucks it up and drinks it and maybe even almost likes one blend or two#but ofc Obi-Wan notices at some point that Cody obviously isn't a big fan of teas so he'll get him caf instead#and if Cody already marveled at someone offering him something like tea this is a whole another level#a cup of caf is practically a love letter to Cody#I love them so much#codywan every day all the time#THEM#idiots in love#I also always struggle with coloring comics like do I color them or not????? so they end up colored kinda in this half-assed way usually#also if it hasn't become clear yet I can't draw backgrounds and struggle with that too so everything always takes place in some weird LIMBO#my arts
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@acapelladitty your scriddler fanfics have inspired me to sin today. How dare you. I am a degenerate.
#digital art#my art#illustration#comic books#comics#edward nygma#artists on tumblr#dc fanart#jonathan crane#the riddler#scarecrow dc#scarecrow#eddies into being aroused AND scared#fear toxin being used as foreplay#half of this I drew while incredibly drunk#giggling the whole time#these two idiots#i swear#also playing around with different shading techniques#scriddler
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ya know, i feel real bad for gideon for thinking her girlfriend was breaking up w her but like babe. you jumped on a fucking fence. i dont care if you "meant it romantically", was she supposed to like that????
#this poor girl is so repressed#she has spent her whole life with harrow wanting her dead (or at least thinking she did and that goes for the both of them)#and her undyingly loyal abused ass said one flesh one end huh..#what is the ultimate romantic gesture..#how can we save ourselves kill a lyctor and give harrow everything she's ever wanted#except WHAT SHE WANTS IS YOU IDIOT. WHO THE FUCK KILLS THEMSELVES FOR LOVE WHAT DID DULCINEA TELL YOU#you RAT im so mad at you let me brush your hair and tell you it's okay#AND MISS HARROW???? GIRL???? 'oh lemme give myself at home brain surgery so i can preserve your soul' AS A ROMANTIC GESTURE?????#WHY DONT YOU TWO JUST FUCKING. TALK TO EACH OTHER. ASK EACH OTHER THINGS. LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE OTHER HALF OF YOU#holy FUCK#THEY ARE SUCH TRAUMATIZED TEENAGERS I WANNA EAT THEM FOR BREAKFAST IM [frothing at the mouth]#the locked tomb#tlt#tlt spoilers#the locked tomb spoilers#fucking IDIOTS#GOD#AND YOU KNOW WHAT#ALSO. THE FACT THAT THEY BOTH GET WHAT THEY WANT BY THE END OF NONA AND REALIZE THEY FUCKING HATE IT HERE BECAUSE IT DOESNT HAVE THEIR#OTHER HALF. LITERALLY ALL THEY NEED IS EACH OTHER#AND ALL I NEED IN MY LIFE IS CODEPENDENT LESBIANS. FUUUUUUCKKKKKK#gtn#gideon the ninth#htn#harrow the ninth#ntn spoilers#in the tags#nona the ninth spoilers
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Sometimes one remembers that the most common ancestral race of hobbits is described by Tolkien as "browner of skin" then the less common two (who might have been mostly outbred over the many years? on the topic of the "fairer of skin and also of hair" set Concerning Hobbits describes that "the strong Fallohidish strain could still be noted among the greater families, such as the Took and the Masters of Buckland", which to me implies that while there's still clear ancestry there they probably still have heavy Harfoot or even Stoor influence going on- otherwise why describe it as a 'strong strain' rather than just say they're still primarily Fallohidish families? especially when you consider that the section in question is discussing that they were particularly bold and adventurous for hobbits and so given what the Tooks and Brandybucks are like it may be more often a matter of inclination rather than visuals- not to doubt that the visuals show up, but probably not as often as inclination, especially if you allow for the secrecy-focused courting habits mentioned in the first draft of the first chapter of LotR (as published in The Return of the Shadow: The History of Lord of the Rings Part 1, by Christopher Tolkien, pg 17, yes I did go hunting), which would make marriages between differing groups so much more accessible (and may actually be why that's a thing)), that their curly hair is consistently pointed out, and that our initial description of hobbits given in The Hobbit specifically mentions "nimble brown fingers".
And then one gets aggravated all over again at how long it took for non-white hobbits to show up in adaptations and the sheer number of people over the years who have tried to make out like non-white hobbits would be such a horrible canon-breaking thing.
#sorry i got pulled on a bit of a tangent there- longtime followers probably half-expected it#you wouldn't think this would be a post to hunt over but i checked four different books on this one#yes two were just two copies of the hobbit to verify information but still#the whole secrecy in courting and marriage thing might be jossed by the third version of that chapter (pg 29 of the same book)#which mentions a wedding feast#but these are hobbits and it's just as likely that eloping is not considered a good enough reason to not throw a reception party#but yes brown-skinned hobbits are a thing and have been a thing and it boils my turnips when racist idiots try to pretend it's not#my guestimate would be tones probably ranging from olive to medium brown on average#with a heavy lean towards the brown populationwise#given the name 'fallohide' and that 'fallow' is a light brown or yellow-ish brown tone#but of course i can't rightly know#is it what tolkien intended? i don't know i'm not him i'm just working off some of what he wrote#but it's what he wrote there for us
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I'm trying to articulate a thought: while a moral reading of a text is necessary and I'd say unavoidable, a judgement of a text cannot begin and end in its value as a didactic piece for teaching morality to the reader (or reinforcing their sense of moral selves).
This doesn't mean people should read books that make apology of things the person finds morally or psychologically repulsive, just because there's some artistic value in them anyways.
But I have seen people for whom reading (and engaging with media in general) becomes a moral race in which their enjoyment of literature must be thoroughly justified by the -often only superficially ascertained- moral value of the themes and lessons of the text, and for whom the things they read are a letter of presentation of the moral principles they spouse.
In other words, instead of the moral principles of the person delineating the framework through which they approach the text, it is a checklist of things the text must explicitly contain in order to be seen as having any worth at all.
Which is a rather sad and superficial way to engage with things.
#Pick say Dracula#to mention a book I disliked#yes part of my dislike is the treatment of Mina's character and also the approach of the lower class characters and the foreigner danger#But also the book has a very strong promising first half that quickly descends into idiot ball convenience so that Mina can get bitten#And it goes downhill from there#I can understand why people enjoy the novel#And also point out the futility and delusion of trying to say that Bram Stoker had a feminist and inclusive perspective of women#The book can be written by an author that doesn't care about women and it bleeds through the text#and you still can derive enjoyment of the interesting concepts characters and dynamics in it#That won't make you a bad person you don't need to force the text into being PureTM#The other way around#yes War and Peace features two adult men falling in love with a young teenage girl and that's yikesy#But it's also a story about how she represents life#and the way their relationship with life creates a contrast and a reflection about the meaning of life and love#Is this a good treatment of Natasha? No!#Does that mean that the whole book is bad because Tolstoy was a bad husband and in general not good to women? Also no!#So yeah it boils down to#you can enjoy quote unquote problematic media and be a good person#Your reading list does not define your morality#The way you engage with the text on the other hand yes can tell things about what you believe and the principles that direct your behavior
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He pronounces it more like deux amis and I don’t know if it was meant to be like that or not, both work anyway but I’m just wondering
#mahmood#I think I had saved vids of him saying like one to two words in french years ago#to think that after a few years he’ll make a whole song (half technically since it’s it/fr but still)#wait what an idiot I forgot we had Karma first
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ok but one of the joys of good omens: putting your favorite historical figure in the 'other tags to include' field on ao3 for funsies
#good omens#this post inspired by my having a lot of heartbreaking thoughts about keats lately#(he's in rome from 31 oct till his death on 23 feb so he's often on my mind in the winter)#and then wondering what if the ineffables were at the dinner where shelley was being That Atheist#ohhhhhhmg come on the hilaRITY#sdkfjsfdfs the whole dinner being a conversation about god's existence and shelley being obnoxious about it#and baiting v devout haydon about whether shakespeare believed in god or not#that's soooo the two idiots in a tiff over smth and crowley egging shelley on to fuck with aziraphale#(not that he needed much egging - oh peebs)#aziraphale in a spite parry miracles haydon the inspiration for 'christ's entry into jerusalem'#keats watching the interplay and kind of half-repulsed/half-enamored by shelley-as-nudged-by-crowley#something something so much demon imagery in keat's poetry something iDK#'the last whom i love more the more of blame is heap’d upon her - maiden most unmeek - i knew to be my demon poesy'#something something 'i should have been a rebel angel had the opportunity been mine'#LAMIA? HELLO???#GOD OK OK OK OK#which would make keats kind of being always a little wary of shelley and not taking up his offer to convalesce with him in pisa#and going to rome instead kind of a consequence of aziraphale and crowley bullshit#oof ouch it hurt itself in its confusion#goD aziraphale's take on keats given his whole victorian charity schtick in the edinburgh minisode I AM FASCINATED#esp given keats's background as a pharmacist and surgeon's assistant - my guy was def on the scalpel side of the resurrectionist trade#MANY THOUGHTS#anyway there are only two tagged appearances of keats in good omens fic but aziraphale fucks shelley once so like
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The Eye Saga: Moments That Make Me Cry
2/???
#anime#radiowaves#xxxholic#XXXHolic#holic#xxxholic kei#*HALF FOR EACH OF US*#*something something their relationship in food metaphors*#*I’m feeling A Lot about how Doumeki is fussy and will only eat Watanuki’s cooking*#*and how Watanuki’s love language is clearly food (just re-watch the ‘leftovers’ scene from last episode)*#*Doumeki has been PUSHING at him for the past few episodes to define his boundaries (like when demands he make specific food)*#*and now he’s GOT IT he’s putting them as EQUALS*#*half the work/half his eye/half spirit attractor half spirit repeller*#*two halves of a whole idiot*#*THERE WE GO THAT SHOULD BE MY SHIP TAG FOR THEM*
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*sigh* we really are the same
which y/n stereotype are you?
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was looking into biking in the city i live in and jesus christ is the subreddit for this place full of some of the most pessimistic assholes alive lmfao
#i mean to be fair it IS reddit but also. my god.#would read posts like “hi guys i was wondering if anyone here has advice on commuting to work with a bike :)”#and half the comments would be about how they're idiots for even thinking of that and how miserable and crime ridden this place is#and also about how drivers suck but also they hate all cyclists?? like jeeeeesus christ guys. maybe take a deep breath or something#and then there'd be like one or two people like “i don't know about commutes but i cycle recreationally and it's so much fun! good luck!”#and then drop a bunch of really great helpful resources about biking here and various routes. love those people let's make it only them pls#the crime rate here Is high but that does not make the whole city a miserable unlivable shithole lol#maddie meows#idk just. was not fun. made me kind of anxious about an idea i was sort of excited about.#i've looked there a few times before and it ALWAYS just leaves me feeling incredibly shitty and nervous abt leaving the house which sucks#(in case it wasn't obvious i only moved here recently.)#and then time passes and i feel good again and i forget how awful that god damn subreddit is... fool that i am#i must not add “reddit” to the end of my internet searches abt this place. reddit is the mind killer. etc etc
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JJK MEN: BABY, CAN YOU CALL ME BACK?
✩ ‧ ˚. [ GOJO, TOJI, GETO ] your boyfriend's gone for work, and you gotta convince him to come back home over the phone... NSFW
contents: fem!reader. phone sex, voice kink, video taking, dick pics, blah blah blah. you can probably guess the rest. not proofread + mostly written while i was half-asleep. 2.3k words.
★ ━ SATORU GOJO
“baby, i miss you,” satoru mumbles, voice soft and sleepy from the other end of the phone. you hear the sound of sheets rustling against his phone’s microphone as he rolls over, groaning softly. “i can’t wait to come home to you.”
you plop down on your bed and turn your phone on speaker as you rest your back against the headboard, stifling a yawn before you reply. “me too… it’s so lonely without you here.”
“i know,” satoru says, and even though it’s not a video call, you’re absolutely certain he’s grinning like the cocky idiot he is. “tell me ‘bout your day, sweetheart. wanna know what you’ve been doing without me.”
you roll your eyes and smile, checking your nails as you reply. “nothing much, it’s kinda boring without you here.”
“tell me more,” satoru murmurs, and he thinks that he’s so lucky you two aren’t on a facetime call, because his hand is slipping down to the waistband of his pants and he’s tugging them off, releasing his already-hardened dick. “i wanna know everything.”
you don’t think much of the way satoru’s breathing has gotten noticeably choppier as you ramble about the little things that’ve happened in your day so far—after all, how could you know that he’s stroking himself to the sound of your voice?
“so, yeah, that’s basically everything,” you finish, exhaling softly. the moment you stop talking, you hear the soft groans that satoru’s been fighting to hide the whole time, and suddenly, it clicks. “wait, satoru, have you been fucking yourself the whole ti—”
“maybe,” your boyfriend replies instantly, pausing and taking a long, unsteady breath before he continues, “wanna join me?” you don’t reply immediately, but soon, his voice turns pleading. “c’mon, baby, missin’ you so much… lemme hear you, sweet girl. help your boyfriend out, pleeea—”
“okay, okay,” you give in, reaching down and tugging off your shorts. a second later, your panties are discarded as well, and your fingers start to circle your clit at the sound of satoru’s voice.
“mm, you touching yourself, baby?” satoru breathes, hand still wrapped around his dick. you hum in agreement, and the hand holding your phone grows tighter the faster your circles get. satoru clicks his tongue after a couple seconds, and adds, “don’t hold back, i wanna hear you.”
“okay,” you mumble, missing his familiar touch now more than ever. “i miss you so much, ‘toru,” you whisper, voice already a little shaky from your own fingers. but it still isn’t enough to push you over the edge—you both know that only satoru has the skill to do that.
“i know you do,” satoru teases, an amused lilt in his voice. “bet those pretty hands of yours couldn’t make ya cum half as fast as i could, yeah?”
he’s right, but it doesn’t stop you from trying—god, you wish your boyfriend were here and inside of you, but for now, his voice is all that you have. “baby, these past couple days, all i could—fuck, all i could think about was that pretty pussy of yours,” satoru chokes out, hand moving up and down the length of his dick faster. “so tight f’me, all just for me,” he mumbles, throwing his head back and gritting his teeth.
“s-satoru, i need you,” you mewl out, legs starting to tremble just at the thought of him. “need your dick inside of me, plea—”
“can’t do that, princess,” satoru sighs, groaning at the sound of your desperate request. “wish i could, though.. but we gotta wait for a couple days, fuck.”
you stop rubbing your clit and instead slip two fingers inside your cunt, wrist shaking at you pump your fingers up and down at his request. “s’ not as good as you, ‘toru,” you whine, hips unconsciously rocking against your hand. “come home soon, please, can’t wait for that long—”
satoru laughs breathily and moans shamelessly into his phone, mumbling something about work or a mission or something—but you don’t really catch the details, too occupied with fucking yourself to the thought of your boyfriend. “so impatient, aren’t ya?” satoru exhales, thrusting into his own fist and fantasizing about your warm, tight cunt instead. “fuck, baby, miss you and your cunt so fuckin’ bad—”
“then come home, ‘toru,” you plead, hardly able to choke out your words coherently. “please, satoru, i need you here—”
your boyfriend cuts you off with a series of porn-worthy groans, mixing in your name wherever he can as he cums into his hand. it’s not satisfying, and it doesn’t feel half as good as it would if he were fucking your pussy instead. so, after a couple seconds, he mumbles, “whatever you say, princess, i’ll be there by tomorrow.”
★ ━ TOJI FUSHIGURO
“you’re an asshole,” you mutter into your phone. toji only scoffs in reply, a disbelieving edge to his voice. “toji, listen to me—”
“i’m listenin’, princess,” toji grumbles. “yeah, i know i said i’d be home by tonight, but somethin’ came up. s’ not my fault i’m surrounded by idiots.” and he makes no effort of hiding his disdain at your stubbornness—some things were just out of his control, including how long it took for most of his missions to get completed.
“don’t call me that,” you snap, climbing into your bed and pulling a pillow onto your lap. toji sighs, and it’s a long, lengthy exhale that surely has to be exaggerated. “fuck you, toji, you promised you’d be home by tonight.”
your boyfriend laughs incredulously into his phone, chortling for a good twenty seconds before he replies, “i don’t remember promising anything, n’ what do ya need me home for anyways? what’s so fuckin’ important, huh?”
well, there’s no way you’re telling him the real reason you want him home so badly—he’d just laugh at you and your desperation for him. but honestly, after going for more than a week without his dick, you’re really fucking close to telling him that. instead, you reply, “maybe i just miss my boyfriend.”
“more like you just want dick, don’t ya, pretty?”
toji sees right through your pitiful lies—he always does. you don’t respond for a long while, and your boyfriend fills up the silence by laughing again. “shoulda just said so. i missed fuckin’ that tight cunt of yours too, idiot.”
“so will you come home now?”
“mm, you gotta convince me.”
“how?” you groan, dragging a hand down your face.
“show me jus’ how much you miss me, and maybe i’ll consider comin’ back early if you can prove it to me,” toji says, and you can hear the smile in his voice as your screen lights up with a request to facetime.
you accept, and a second later, your boyfriend’s face fills up your screen. his dark eyes are squinted from the sudden light, but the corners of his lips curl upwards when he sees you. “hey, princess.”
“hey, asshole.”
“you want to get fucked tomorrow night or not?” he drawls, a lazy smile playing on his face when that shuts you up. “now c’mon, let’s see that pussy. open wide f’me.”
you mutter something about him being the worst boyfriend ever before you tug down the waistband of your panties, exposing your neglected, puffy cunt. your clothes are quickly discarded somewhere, allowing you to angle your phone downwards and show toji what he’s missing.
“oh, fuckin’ hell,” toji mutters, navy eyes fixed on your cunt as you slip two fingers inside and start pumping them in and out of your hole. the dim lighting of your room bounces off the slick already coating your cunt, making it look wetter than ever to toji—and you can practically see the longing in his eyes as he watches you fuck yourself.
“please, toji,” you mumble, spreading your legs even wider to show off your pussy to him. “miss you so much, please—fuck, please come home,” you plead, doing your best to put on a show for him. at this point, you’re so touch starved that you’d do anything to get him back—anything to satisfy you, since your own fingers can’t even give you half the pleasure toji can.
“so desperate, aren’t ya?” toji tuts, eying you with interest. “tch, pathetic…”
you whine in response to his words, hips rolling against your own hand as you futilely try to convince your head that it’s a dick in between your legs and not your own fingers. “fuck, toji, i’ll do anythin—”
“anything?” he instantly cuts you off, cocking an eyebrow as if he’s intrigued. you nod desperately, almost willing to do anything and everything for him if it meant he could fill up the empty spot in between your thighs. “you promise?”
“y-yeah, anything,” you whimper, throwing your head back as your hand starts to grow sore.
toji hums in approval, and a moment later, he replies, “alright then. i’ll head back tomorrow mornin’, but you’re getting fucked for the whole night after. n’ i don’t wanna hear any of that ‘toji, it’s too much!’ bullshit, m’kay?” he snaps, mimicking your voice by raising his pitch two octaves.
“okay, i promise,” you choke out, and the second the words leave your lips, toji hangs up.
asshole.
★ ━ SUGURU GETO
“suguru, i miss you,” you mumble into your phone, burying your face into the blankets wrapped around your shoulders. usually, it’s rare for you to feel cold within your bedroom—suguru’s presence seems to make everything warmer. but right now, he’s not here, and even your own room feels barren without his comforting aura. “it’s so empty here without you…”
“is it, now?” suguru replies coyly from the other end of the call. he’s at some sort of meeting right now, but apparently, he’s on his break—which is good, because you imagine that it might be a little embarrassing for him to take this call if he were in the middle of the meeting. “i miss you too, baby. you and that pretty pussy of yours, heh.”
“sugu—”
your boyfriend interrupts you with a soft, teasing laugh, lowering his voice when he adds, “do you want to know what i’d do to you if i was with you right now?”
you swallow back the “yes” you so desperately want to say, instead whispering, “aren’t you in public?”
“nah, i’m in the bathroom right now,” suguru clarifies. “now c’mon, answer the question.”
“...yeah,” you admit. it’s been over a week since you last had any sort of sexual contact with suguru—you’ll take what you can get.
your boyfriend laughs again, sultry voice pouring out your phone’s speakers and straight into your throbbing cunt when he starts describing—in great detail—the things he would do to you if he was on top of you right now.
“...and then, i would flip you over and fuck you face-down ass-up for hours,” suguru adds casually, enjoying the sounds of your muffled moans—you’re trying so hard to hide them, but little do you know that it’s only too obvious to suguru.
two of your fingers are circling your clit as suguru speaks, and your own hand is clasped over your mouth as you struggle to hide the effects of suguru’s voice on you—and he just keeps talking.
“yeah, and when i finally let you cum all over my dick, i’d just keep going,” suguru cooes, tempted to pull down his pants and take care of his own boner right then and there. but unlike you, your boyfriend has some ounce of resilience, and as he checks the time on his phone, he realizes that he has to get back to his meeting soon anyways.
“suguru—” you moan, unable to stifle your little whimpers any longer. “wan’ you so bad, please—”
“silly girl, what do you mean, you want me so bad?” suguru says amusedly. “i’m already yours, aren’t i?”
“you know what i mean,” you huff, rocking your hips against your fingers in an attempt to force yourself to cum. but unfortunately, ever since you started fucking with suguru, your own fingers aren’t good enough—even if you could hypothetically make yourself orgasm, it wouldn’t give you even a fraction of the pleasure your boyfriend could. “please, sugu, i wanna see you.”
and just like that, any remaining self-restraint suguru has snaps—the sound of you begging is enough to make him do anything in the world.
suguru hastily unzips his pants, releasing his dripping dick. he runs his thumb over the leaking tip, smearing the pre-cum all over its head. “fuck, baby, i’m at work right now,” he mutters into his phone, rolling his eyes affectionately when he hears you giggle. “one pic. then i’m going back to my meeting.”
“m’kay!” you agree, pulling the phone away from your ear and turning it on speaker as you eagerly wait for the pictures to send.
suguru holds up his phone and snaps a picture of his dick resting in his palm, stroking it with that hand and sending you the image with the other. “alright, sweetheart, gotta get back to work,” suguru sighs, unable to get his boner to settle down—he figures the only way it’ll happen is if he ends the call, which he really needs to do.
“aw, do you have to?”
“yeah, sorry ‘bout that,” he mutters, removing the phone from his ear to end the call.
“wait, what’re you sending me—oh, fuck, you’re the worst,” suguru groans when he clicks the notification and sees a video of what you’re doing to yourself right now—it’s a five second video of you pumping your fingers in and out of your puffy cunt to his voice, and there goes his resolve to stay at work.
“i fuckin’ hate you, baby… see you in a couple hours.”
#osaemu#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo x reader#gojo smut#toji x reader#toji smut#geto x reader#geto smut#gojo satoru smut#toji fushiguro smut#geto suguru smut#gojo x you#toji x you#geto x you
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no doubt !
loser!enhypen's reaction to your confession + their down bad behaviour
genre: completely fluff, slight crack
warnings: self doubt, very little stuttering
note: live, laugh, love hot loser men
word count: 2.3k
i love reading your comments and reblogs, so please do so if you liked reading this<3
HEESEUNG
heeseung was the guy who always sat in the back of the library, oversized hoodie pulled up and earbuds blasting lo-fi playlists. not because he was trying to look cool and aloof—he just didn’t know how to talk to people. heeseung’s whole vibe screamed ‘leave me alone’, and yet, you were drawn to him. maybe it was the way his big glasses always slid down his nose or how he’d stammer when the librarian asked if he needed help. there was a sweetness to his awkwardness, a genuine quality that made him stand out(not to mention how devastatingly handsome he was).
you started leaving him little sticky notes on the library desk when he wasn’t looking, simple messages like “nice doodles!” or “your handwriting is cute<3” the day he caught you in the act, his face turned the color of a ripe tomato.
“you think my handwriting’s c-cute?” he stuttered, practically vibrating with nervous energy.
a bit nervous, you laughed and nodded. “yeah, i do. and i think you’re cute too.”
heeseung froze, his pen dropping to the table. “wait, you… you think i’m cute?” he sounded so disbelieving it was almost funny.
when you confessed that you liked him, he spent two weeks in disbelief, constantly asking if you were joking. but after you assured him that no, you weren’t pulling some cruel prank, he became utterly devoted. he’d text you good morning every day, walk you to your classes while carrying your books (even when you insisted you could manage), and write you poetry—the kind of cringe, over-the-top poetry that made your heart melt anyway.
heeseung was the kind of boyfriend who’d get embarrassingly jealous but try to hide it. if someone so much as glanced at you for too long, he’d fidget nervously and mumble something about how they were probably just admiring how amazing you were. and if you hugged him in public? forget it. he’d be grinning like an idiot for the rest of the day.
when he wasn’t nervously doting on you, he was daydreaming about your future together. he’d scribble little sketches of the two of you in his notebook, complete with hearts and statements like “me + you = forever.” if you teased him about it, he’d turn beet red and try to deny it, but you could see the tiny smile playing on his lips.
rest is under the cut!
JAY
jay was the guy in your science class who thought he could blend in by keeping his head down. what he didn’t realize was that his nervous habits were endearing: the way he’d mumble answers to himself during group work or adjust his glasses every 30 seconds. he was always sketching random diagrams in his notebook—half for class, half because he was too awkward to make conversation.
you had a crush on him because, despite his shyness, there was something magnetic about the way he focused—his brows furrowing as he sketched diagrams in his notebook, the faintest pout forming on his lips when he was deep in concentration. one time, you caught him organizing the classroom supplies, his long fingers deftly sorting through tape dispensers and markers while muttering something about order.
when you mentioned you liked him, jay blinked at you like he couldn’t comprehend the words. “me? like me, me?” he asked, pointing to himself.
you nodded, trying not to giggle at how wide his eyes had gotten. “yes, you. i think you’re really sweet.”
jay’s face turned a deep shade of red, and he immediately started rambling. “i mean, i… uh, wow, okay, i didn’t expect this. are you sure? like, really sure? because i’m kind of a mess, and—”
once it clicked, though, he was all in. he’d send you paragraphs of text apologizing if he thought he said something wrong, shower you with small, thoughtful gifts (like your favorite snacks or a plant he’d researched how to care for), and eventually worked up the courage to hold your hand—though he’d sweat buckets the entire time.
jay would also start making lists—actual, physical lists—of things he could do to make you happy. “compliment her at least once a day,” “remember her favorite coffee order!,” and “learn how to not be a complete dork >:(” were scrawled on a sticky note tucked into his notebook. and when he wasn’t nervously doting on you, he was daydreaming about you, doodling your initials in the margins of his notes.
very soon, he was down-bad for you, which was evident through his real life and his social media activities. he’d post the cheesiest captions about you, like “can’t believe i’m dating the most amazing person in the world” with a blurry photo of the two of you. his friends teased him mercilessly, but he didn’t care. to him, you were worth every bit of embarrassment. late at night, he’d re-read your old texts and smile like an idiot, convinced he was the luckiest person alive.
JAKE
jake was a lovable mess. he wore mismatched socks, always seemed to forget his pencil, and somehow managed to trip over air at least once a day. his “plan” to talk to you involved him awkwardly hovering near your desk and pretending to need help with math problems he already knew how to solve. you knew from the start he was a bit of a loser—but that’s exactly why you liked him along with you finding everything he did adorable.
“wait, wait,” he said when you told him you were into him. “you like me? like, romantically? or is this a ‘pity me’ situation?”
after realizing you genuinely liked him, jake became a golden retriever in human form. he’d facetime you at random hours just to say hi, take you on chaotic “dates” that involved him occasionally tripping over things in public, nervously ordering food for you both and all silly fun activities like arcade games and amusement parks. it was never a dull day with him! after your first kiss, he couldn’t stop grinning for hours, texting his friends in all caps: “GUYS I JUST KISSED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AAHJKHSSSK”
jake’s down-bad behavior reached new levels when he started making playlists for every possible mood you might have: “songs to cheer you up,” “songs that remind me of you<3,” and even “songs to study to (but only if you want to study with me):3” he’d even text you mid-class to tell you he missed you, even if you’d just seen each other that morning.
jake was also the kind of boyfriend who’d insist on carrying your bag even when it was clear it was too heavy for him. “i’ve got this!” he’d say, wincing slightly but refusing to let you take it back. and if you ever mentioned feeling sad or stressed, he’d immediately panic, asking, “what can i do? tell me, and i’ll do it!” he’d even write you little notes with nerdy jokes or doodles to make you smile, slipping them into your locker or bag for you to find later.
SUNGHOON
sunghoon thought he was slick, but his ‘cool guy’ act was so transparent it was almost cute. he’d lean against the lockers during breaks, pretending not to notice you, but the way his ears turned red every time you walked by gave him away. despite his awkward attempts at being aloof, you found his loser tendencies adorable: like how he’d secretly google pickup lines but chicken out before using them.
when you confessed your feelings, he genuinely choked. “wait, you like me? oh wow… you have bad- I MEAN great taste ahem.” he spent a solid week trying to act nonchalant, but once you started dating, his loser side came out full force. he’d ask you to “rate his outfits” before dates, send you selfies captioned “just thinking about you bbg,” and blush furiously every time you complimented him. sunghoon may have tried to act smooth, but deep down, he was utterly whipped.
sunghoon would also start practicing ways to compliment you in the mirror—only to mess it up completely when the time came. “y-you look… uh, very… beautiful? no, wait, gorgeous! that’s the word i meant!” and everytime you smiled at him, he’d be texting his friends, “she smiled at me again!!!!! i’m gonna pass out.”
his devotion extended to doing the smallest things for you, like bringing you your favorite drink or snacks without you asking. he’d even memorise your schedule so he could “accidentally” bump into you between classes, claiming it was coincidence even though the timing was suspiciously perfect. at night, he’d lay awake replaying your conversations, smiling at the ceiling like the lovesick fool he was.
SUNOO
you had noticed sunoo always sitting at the edge of friend groups, laughing along but never quite joining in. he was bubbly and fun but had an air of self-doubt that made him endearing. you started noticing how he’d always bring extra snacks to share with classmates or go out of his way to compliment people—little acts of kindness that made your heart flutter. not to mention his angelic beauty, that had you look twice the first time you had seen him standing near the water cooler awkwardly.
it was hard not to develop a crush and when you told sunoo you liked him, he’d blink in disbelief. “no way. you’re joking, right?” but after realising you were serious, he’d giggle nervously and hide his face in his hands. once you started dating, he became the most attentive boyfriend ever, remembering every small detail about you and hyping you up like you were the main character. he’d also send you cheesy tiktoks at 2 a.m. with captions like, “this is so us babe ><”
sunoo was head over heels for you, the literal epitome of “she fell first but he fell harder”. he did adorable things like creating a secret pinterest board filled with date ideas and texting you pictures of cute animals with captions like, “look, it’s us in 50 years!” he also started learning how to bake just so he could surprise you with your favorite treats—though most of his attempts ended in chaotic, flour-covered disasters.
if you ever seemed upset, sunoo would go into full panic mode, showering you with compliments and doing everything in his power to cheer you up. “you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met,” he’d say earnestly, his eyes sparkling with sincerity. he even kept a list on his phone of all the things you’d mentioned liking, just so he could surprise you when you least expected it.
JUNGWON
jungwon was the class president who seemed to have it all together—but his close friends knew better. he was the guy who’d trip over his words during speeches, carry five planners because he kept losing them, and stress over things like forgetting to bring tape for a poster project. you liked him because, despite his loser-ish tendencies, he had a heart of gold and worked hard to make everyone feel included.
when you told him you had a crush on him, jungwon’s first reaction was to nervously laugh. “wait, me? are you sure? why would you do that to yourself!?” once he accepted that you really liked him, he became the sweetest boyfriend imaginable. he’d plan thoughtful dates (that inevitably went slightly wrong but ended up being more fun because of it), leave you encouraging notes in your locker, and get adorably flustered every time you kissed him.
jungwon also started creating “motivational speeches” for you, writing them out on notecards and practicing in the mirror before giving them. “i believe in you,” he’d say earnestly, fumbling to hand you a little note that said, “you’re amazing, and don’t you forget it.” if you teased him about it, he’d bury his face in his hands and mumble, “stop, you’re embarrassing me…”
his love didn’t stop there. he’d stay up late researching ways to make your life easier, like creating color-coded study guides or finding fun new spots to take you on dates. and if anyone dared to speak poorly of you, jungwon would step up, surprising everyone with his sudden fierceness. “they don’t know what they’re talking about,” he’d say, his tone protective and unwavering.
NI-KI
ni-ki was the quiet gamer boy who’d rather blend into the background than be noticed. he wore the same hoodie every other day and constantly had earbuds in, even when they weren’t playing anything. you liked him because of how unpretentious he was—and how his eyes lit up whenever he talked about something he loved, like a new game or a random meme he found hilarious.
when you told him you were into him, ni-ki almost dropped his controller. his eyes narrowed into a glare, “are you sure you’re not messing with me? did jake tell you about my crush?” after he realised what he had said, he immediately scampered away leaving you standing there confused. once he got over his initial shock, he became your biggest simp. he’d send you memes that reminded him of you, let you beat him at games (even though he’d deny it), and randomly text you “you’re so pretty” at the most unexpected times. around his friends, he’d brag about you non-stop, showing off pictures of you with a proud grin.
once he was down bad for you, he became hell bent on learning how to cook your favorite meals—even though he’d never cooked before in his life. “how hard can it be?” he’d say, only to panic five minutes in and call you for help. he also started staying up late to design matching gamer tags for the two of you, insisting that everyone online needed to know you were his.
in quiet moments, ni-ki would open up about how much you meant to him, his voice soft and a little shaky. “i don’t know what i did to deserve you, but i’m not letting go.” and if you ever showed up to surprise him during his gaming sessions, he’d immediately log off, saying, “sorry, guys, my priority is here,” as he turned his full attention to you.
𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr
˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱
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#౨ৎ 𝓐dy writes🪄#en-diaries#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#enhypen fics#enhypen x reader#sunoo x reader#sunoo imagines#kpop fics#heeseung x reader#heeseung imagines#jay x reader#jay imagines#jake x reader#jake imagines#enhypen reactions#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#jungwon x reader#jungwon imagines#niki x reader#niki imagines#loser!enhypen#enhypen headcanons
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so basically (my mom fucked up my haircut so now it doesn't even reach my shoulders, but when i did have long hair)
what i did with tangles was i Didn't Get Them
i would run my hand through my hair every morning and on the off chance i did, i would keep running my hand through my hair until the tangled hair fell out as a clump
it was extremely painful but i could do it anywhere
#clumps of hair were left on the classroom floor#my teacher once stared at me when i was untangling a particularly big knot#once i got two at once and it looked like two spiders in my hand#i'm excited to regrow my hair (it'll take like half a year since my mom is a fucking idiot) so that next year when i go to high school#i can introduce a whole new cast of teachers to my efficient hair care
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